Eye Can See Clearly Now
by LusciousNesha
Summary: Two brothers fight a separate but equal fight for those that they care about. Reformed white supremacists Sam and Stevie have been busy in the past few years trying to shape the future for their children and atone for their past sins. But, is there a wrong or right way to do so? When white nationalism has become and we have to remind society that lives matter, how do you fight?
1. The Rally

_**This story is rated M for violence, murder, sexual scenes, mentions of sexual violence, police brutality, and other triggering social justice issues.**_

 _A/N: This is the third and final installment of an AU series. Part One: As Far As Eye Can See. Part Two: Do You See What Eye See. Part Three: Eye Can See Clearly Now._

 **The Rally**

"Three women, riding in their car, loudly blasting a Hamilton CD, singing along to The Schuyler Sisters… Words such as, 'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal' and 'Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now' can be heard in the recording when the driver pulls over. Her name was Andrea Cohen and she was my friend; practically my family. She began recording as soon as she saw their lights flashing behind her vehicle. Not because she thought that a recording might help her situation. She wasn't that naive. She started recording because she thought that if anything _did_ happen that the recording might help the rest of us be moved to action. It certainly lit a fire under me." Matthew Rutherford was consulting notes as he made his statement at an event. "I won't play it. We won't show images, because no doubt everyone has seen this over and over again. It has been happening since our ancestors first ran off of the plantations towards the stars. Andrea was not an anomaly. She wasn't an isolated incident. She became one of the hundreds of our people that are murdered each year by the police." He took a deep breath and Aphasia rubbed the small of his back, as she cried fluently.

There were happy photos of Andrea, projected against the screen behind him as a slideshow while he talked. #SayHerName and other sentiments on signs in the crowd. "We gather like this far too many times. Sometimes, I just want some barbeque. Sometimes, it'd be nice just to meet to see what fraternity connections we have. Whatever… We get to do those things, but we also have to navigate a country, a world in which even doing things like that can result in our deaths!"

He took off his glasses and wiped them off. "Andrea, her long term girlfriend, and another friend had recently left _my_ house. They stopped by on their way to go see Hamilton. Her girlfriend had been wanting to see it and they finally got tickets, after trying so many times and missing the original cast - people with money problems, but that was what was happening with her. They decided since they were in New York to hit up their old friend, Matt and spoil his already questionably rotten two year old," he joked, sadly. "Before that video circulated, the last words that I heard her say was, 'Keep spoiling my godson while I'm away.'" Aphasia collapsed onto his back, crying onto his suit coat.

"Well, let's speak about what happened in between when they got into her car and what we saw in the video. Our friend, Jane" he pointed a hand to Jane, offstage, wiping her own tears away, and Andrea's girlfriend, De'Wanda, who is still locked up and facing criminal charges, got into the car. Jane says De'wanda put the CD in, cheerfully reporting all the Hamilton facts that she knew of and expressing her excitement that it was finally going to happen. It didn't happen, by the way. See, Andrea and De'wanda started playfully bickering about why she was listening to the CD when they were about to go watch the show. They had plenty of time, but there's parking, crowds, etc. You understand. De'wanda playfully turned the music all the way up, to drown Andrea out and stuck her tongue out at her.

Now, the police say that Andrea's stickers looked suspicious, but if you know Andrea, she's never had a suspicious sticker or anything else about her car, because she likes to be accounted for, legally. Now, what she DID have was a "Fuck the 12" decal on her window that another friend made. So, when she saw the lights, she turned down the music, began the recording and let all of us know that she was just pulled over for no reason and she laughed, commenting, 'They better not make me miss Hamilton.' They did.

Andrea spoke calmly to the officer, asked the right questions, follow the instructions, ready no doubt to be sure to point all of this out to her lawyer when the time came. It did not come. See, the police thought it alright to pull our friends out of the car and try to humiliate them. Our friend Jane, who has been assailed unlawfully before had a flashback and she froze, afraid to move to get out of the car. So, when the officer went to grab her, pulling her by her hair as she did, Andrea reached out, reflexively to grab the officer and make her stop… she was backhanded with the officer's fist. Two more officers jumped on her as she stumbled to the ground. Jane was pulled out and handcuffed. De'wanda tried to get to the other side of the car where Andrea was being attacked and began struggling with the officers to do so.

Now, Andrea's phone has fallen beneath the car at this time, so we can't see very well what is happening. We only see a corner of her face, which is not like these shining and smiling photos on the projector. She's afraid, she's bleeding and she's slurring, because she's been hit in the head and has brain damage, though we don't know that yet. All we know is that she says, 'Something is wrong. I feel like I'm dying.' It's slurred, but we can make the words out. And what we know that the officer responds to her concern with, because she said it extremely clearly, "Boo. Hoo. Hoo." From… Timing, what I understand is that those were most likely the last words that my friend heard. She felt like something was wrong. She felt like and she literally said like she was going to die. And her _murderer_ said to her… Boo. Hoo. Hoo…" He shut his eyes and lowered his head to let the tears fall. Aphasia squeezed him tightly from behind.

Jane came forward, leading several women, all wearing shades of brown shirts with text on them: _For the Sisters Who Ain't Here_.

Jane escorted Matt and Aphasia off of the stage while the women proceeded to announce the names of women lost to police violence and pour out a small bit of coconut oil, as they did. Standing in the back of the chairs to the right of the stage where the speakers sat were Rashad, Mason and Stevie. Stevie had grown out his hair, almost to his shoulders, facial hair, a few more tattoos and piercings, but the same brooding natural frown that he always sported, maybe even deeper, especially today. "Andrea Cohen," Jane said and poured out her oil…

.

Immediately following the ceremony, Stevie and a bodyguard helped Aphasia and Matt into their car and hit the top of it. They reached the location and Stevie met up with some other guys, spoke briefly, then went inside. Aphasia was in the main room. "Stevie," she said and he came over to her, ready to assist however he could. "Did Sam show up?"

Stevie scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Did you honestly expect him to?"

She fumed, "We've shown up for him. We _would have_ shown up for him…"

"Well, I'm sure that he spoke a very lovely prayer on her behalf to his generous congregation." Aphasia growled and punched the wall. Stevie raised an eyebrow and looked away, "Should I leave you to this?"

"No. Take me to the firing range. I need to shoot something, right now," She said and grabbed his wrist to pull him towards the front door.

"Hey, whoa!" Matt called. "Where are you trying to go?"

Aphasia was grabbing the gun that she kept stashed in an opening in front of the door. "Firing."

Matt shook his head, "Phai, please don't. The pigs are circling the place. The guards are about to send a decoy out, but it's still too hot and I damn sure don't want you out there armed…" He sighed and clasped his hands together, "Please?" She nodded her head and patted Stevie on the arm in silent thanks. Matt turned to him, "Steve, let me grab my card. Hit up a Dick's or something for me, will you? Get like some punching bags and gloves, something to try to smooth her over for a bit?"

"Don't you dare pull that card out, I've got you. Whatever you need." Aphasia went into the back room now, as Stevie left through the front door. He jumped on his cell phone. "Couldn't help but notice that you missed the rally. I don't know why that surprises me. I guess I thought _this_ time it would actually matter to you." He hung up, then got into his car and sped off.

.

Tina could not believe when she heard the news about Andrea Cohen. Actually, she had seen at least the first few moments of the video on autoplay, but quickly stopped it because of the description of it and the warning caption. But, she proceeded to read the article and had to make sure that they were speaking of Andrea Cohen from Ohio. She went directly to Matt's website and sure enough, there was a memorandum, including her photograph and a request not to share any such videos on the site because they would be removed and the user would be blocked. She got on the phone as soon as she heard to check on Aphasia and Matt.

Matt was holding up, but Tina knew that he couldn't be alright. Aphasia as a mess. She said, "Andrea was the only person who has been with Matt from the beginning. She's the one person who was close to him when his family died, who stayed close to him, who built up his business and his organization with him. His Day 1, Tina. We've often said that we don't know what we would do without her. And now, it's like he just had to see the last remaining member of his family die."

"No. No, it isn't like that. You're his family. You and Mattie. Yes, he did lose a member, but not the last. He has you. I am so sorry that your family no longer has her."

"They are… executing us. I can't even tell you how many activists have died either under mysterious circumstances, allegedly random foul play, supposedly justified murders from the police. They are killing us. And not just in the sense of even when I was a little girl, I realized that we were different and I was supposed to be the unpreferred. Not just in the when I was in high school, I learned about racial profiling and when I became an adult, I learned about institutional racism. In a "your life does not matter and if you say it does, you will be killed for it" way. We're scared as hell for Jane. She made it out of police custody, but she was there. She saw everything, even though she was panicking. The police keep watching us. I have a two year old…"

"I'm so sorry. I want to be able to come and help you out."

"You have a political career to build in Hawaii, Girl."

"Yes, but you're an extension of my family, too," Tina said.

"Don't come here! You'll just be another person that I'll be scared of losing. Matt and I have been back and forth between Ohio and New York, anyway. We're thinking of moving back."

"Wow. You haven't lived there in nearly a decade now…"

"Yeah, but the Cohens are there and the police are hot on us here. Remember, when Matt was working in Ohio before, he was still stationed in Chicago. Then we were in Sante Fe. Then New York. We're hoping that the Bay Village police won't stalk us as what's currently happening."

They talked for a while longer, before Tina felt alright to let her go and then she had some serious decisions to try to make. She was trying to build up her political standing. She had been actively engaged in the community in Mililani, nearly since they moved four years ago. Since it wasn't close to the beach, as she presumed (now convinced that was foolishness, on her part), she found other ways of submerging herself into the place while trying to get her business up and running. It failed fast. Most of the work that she did was online orders, and Tina had not done anything other than clothing for years.

She went back to school, because she could afford to and was bored, then started looking up every single community event that she could find. Mike had a glorious job at a private practice, helping lower income families and she was honestly more bored than she had ever been in her life. She took trips to the beach as much as she could. She went to several rallies about different issues to look around. She even took a few tourist classes on how to hula and jewelry making. She already knew how to make jewelry, but she wanted to do something. Eventually, she wandered her way into studying the history of the state, the economy, the social climate, and wanted to become a politician, because it seemed like it would be fun.

Of course, this was prior to being approved for the adoption that she and Mike began the process of after being settled in for a year. After they were finally bringing home three little girls, Tina threw all of her time and energy into _that._ They were siblings, Polynesian and ages 6, 9 and 12… Which were some good ages, for Tina. She loved them and they had lost both of their parents earlier that year (and had been with Mike and Tina for about two years now… Not quite two years, because Tina remembered when Bliss and Blessing were born, she and Mike flew in to meet them and had not yet received word on getting the girls. At any rate, she didn't have the time now to try to plan trips like that, especially if the whole family was going to go. But it made her immensely sad to watch these occurrences on her social media everyday. Between police executions and mass shootings - her personal favorite thing to attack her eyes every time she wanted to check the weather or see cute baby photos - she would have disconnected from every site years ago, if it wasn't one of the main ways that she kept up with her friends. The best part about living in Hawaii was that generally, people made the excuse to come to visit her, instead of her having to leave home with three girls still basically getting used to their new lives.

However, sometimes, people just couldn't. Quinn had not visited since the first year. But, that was due to the fact that she was literally a power mom. That was what she was often referred to when publicly announced at seminars and other engagements. She began her own business solutions firm when she moved to Washington DC, handled several private crises, had another daughter, working full time up through labor and only stopping when she actually had to deliver. There's a story that as soon as her baby went to sleep, she asked for her phone and began to make calls. Because Quinn never denied it, Tina knew it was true.

Well, they continued to keep in touch on a near daily basis, via video chat. They were the ones far away from everyone at home, so they decided that instead of both of them constantly trying to link up with everyone else that they would be certain to set aside a certain time to talk to each other and whenever others were available, they could simply add them into their chats. They basically had the same friends back home.

When the call came on the screen, Beth answered, "Hey, AunTina!"

"Hey! What are you up to?" Tina asked.

"Actually, I was getting ready to head out with some friends, but mom is on the phone with someone and I knew this was you."

"Going out with some friends? Where to?"

"Nowhere in particular. Probably end up at a friend's listening to their dad play ukulele and tell us about all the politicians that he used to do drugs with."

"What?!" Tina's eyes went wide and Beth cackled. "Girl, don't do that to me. I was seriously like whose damn house is that?"

"True story, I _do_ have a friend whose dad does that, but we never go to their house. I was thinking about going to the International Spy Museum, but they're saying that we should wait and go in July, when the Mission Impossible movie comes out, when first off - I don't want to see that. Tom Cruise is gross and so old that he's not even cute anymore, if he even ever was in the ancient days. Second, I can go to that place as many times as I think of it. Third, if we don't find something cool to do, we're totally going to end up at Dayton's. They're SO boojie, Auntina. They can never decide which thing to spend our parents' money on. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to just spend hours in the free museums, because why spend money when there's still free interesting things. They tell me that I sound like a poor person. These are the kinds of people I'm around."

"There's nothing wrong with being poor except for the fact that people like their parents probably actively work to keep poor people poor!" Tina fussed.

"I'll have to remember that one…" Quinn came into the room and Beth gestured a kiss at the computer screen to Tina, before hugging her mother and accepting some cash.

"So… I heard about Andrea Cohen. How are your friends?"

"Phai is doing so bad. Matt, I imagine is doing just as bad."

"Well, I had my site director to keep up with the story, post updates and anything that Matt wants out there, we'll have his back on it. I may even drop a big donation on it. That's crazy, right? I mean, for all of the years that I worried about some white sheet finding me and hurting us, or having one of those Nazi terrorists gun one of us down, somebody that we know, that we've worked with and fought with died… during a routine traffic stop… That's mind-blowing to me."

"Well, it wouldn't likely ever happen to you, is why. This mostly happens to people of color, more notably, Black people."

"I'm not able to find any information that they even had just cause to pull her over."

"They didn't. But, she had anti-police material on her vehicle and I think they intended to rough her up, in the first place. Can you even… Support her in this situation, when your live in partner is a detective?"

"Cooper is a profiler, not some trigger happy thug with a badge. He hates injustice just as much as I do."

"I get that, but I also… Well, most of the cops I know are very vocal about supporting good cops and not letting the actions of these destroy the reputations of others…"

"If they're good cops, they ought to be against this type of thing. This woman wasn't some criminal. She was an affluent feminist with an education and a computer genius with a huge platform… "

"Even if she had been a criminal, though… She wouldn't have deserved that."

"Of course not! I'm only saying that I can't see any possible way that anyone could argue about the validity of this killing."

"They already have. People are saying that she attacked the cops, resisted arrest, some other things. People are always going to find excuses to justify these deaths. It makes me so sick."

"It makes me scared for Mercedes' children," Quinn said. "Her nieces and nephews… _her._ I was under the impression for a really long time that police were more aggressive with black men, but apparently, that's not quite true."

"It's not. Women… of any background in this country, at least, will always be more at risk than the men in the same communities." Tina balled her fists up. "I feel like I have to take a trip to Ohio. At least for her services. Maybe I'll make a vacay out of it and stay for Cheri's crazy birthday party thing."

Quinn rolled her eyes and laughed, "I am trying to set up something for Andrea. Hardest of passes on that R Word bullshit."

"I don't think it's R Word related. I think it's for Stevie and Stacie. Their birthday is St. Patrick's.

"It may not be _for_ the R Word, but… Wait… We've discussed this, haven't we? Or do we actively avoid that entire shitshow altogether since I sued them?"

"I avoided it since before you sued them," Tina said, looking lost.

"Umn… Cheri is _on_ that show."

Tina laughed, "What?"

"She's been on for like a full season. She plays Giselle St. James… or whatever the character's name is."

"That… CAN'T be real news!" Tina said, cackling. "So, she has filmed, acted and they have aired a season of that show with her on it, and I didn't know this? How?"

"You've really not been paying attention. I guess after Sam cut ties with them you didn't have to pretend anymore." Tina still laughed.

"Okay.. so, you've sued them, Sam has severed all of his dealings with them completely, but Cheri is ON IT?" She was still in disbelief. "Like… I didn't even know that she wanted to act. I thought she was having fun doing a reality show every few months. I'm gonna go look for clips to see if she's any good.."

"Do you really want to see clips of that character, created on _that_ show?" Quinn asked.

"Good point. Well, now I really want to go to the party."

"Wait… That show films in California… Is Cheri going to California for extended periods of time with five kids?"

"I don't know what her routine is, just that she's a part of that trash fire now."

"She always did like the story. Since we're bringing the show up, what does Mercy think about her sister-in-law being on the show?"

"She doesn't care. She's still friends with goddamn Kitty Wilde. She sent me her apologies for the things happening in my real life because of her involvement with this project, however she's been on it for 5 seasons and is the star, so is she really sorry at all?"

.

Sam and Joe's church held a gathering, at the same time that Andrea's vigil was held in another part of town. Sam noticed Stevie calling and knew that he was probably angry with him for not coming down to the actual location, but it was safer and his congregation felt more comfortable meeting at their church. Mercedes had spoken about the event on her panel talk show and he arranged a gathering and an offering. The fact that Stevie expected him to show up at the venue, especially considering that those people frequently incited the police, or vice versa was unreasonable. He had already explained that.

But Aphasia's text: _We would have been there for you._

That did hurt. A lot had happened over the past few years. It started about 2 years before… Sam remembered because it was near the time that he and Mercedes had their twins - Blessing and Bliss. Shortly afterward, Stevie and Matt had been arrested at a Black Lives Matter rally. Their version was that the police began shooting people with rubber bullets and throwing tear gas into the crowds and they were simply trying to make sure that children and women were kept safe and found cover. Well, in that process, Stevie "knocked down" an officer. Matt's original version used the word "tackled," but he recanted later, saying that there was tear gas and he may have not seen it accurately. The tackle got Stevie arrested. Matt's recognizable face and proximity to the area got him picked up, as well.

As public figures, it was highly publicized and spoken of in the media. They weren't there together, but it was rumored that they were and it made sense to a lot of people. Stevie had been speaking out against white supremacists, outing them, and working to basically ruin them. Several white nationalist organizations referred to him as a "super-traitor," Brotherhood betrayer, The White Guilt Gladiator; even called him SuperTraitor (as a name), and everyone readily knew exactly who they meant, in addition to the usual 'N word' lover, race traitor, self hater, etc. The White Knight for Black Lives meme had began as a hopeful white ally made some fan artwork of him and did not realize it was highly problematic, and was dragged across the Internet for it.

Stevie was rumored to be on a hit list of neo Nazi groups and often thought to be associated with many political & activism groups that he was not actually affiliated with. "I'm not part of any group. I just attack the white supremacy, because it needs to crumble." It was like some of Matt's earlier work, but with a better budget and inside investigations. To identify these agents of white supremacy, their stepping stones, all of the branches and the leaves was hungry work and required a lot of help from other white people, because they had the advantage of getting close to those others.

The media often pitted Sam and Stevie against each other. Stevie wanted to destroy those people. Sam wanted to save them. Of course, having spent many years now in the public eye, both brothers were good at responses that said how much they loved each other and respected each other's choices, even if they weren't what one another would do.

Sam was just as concerned about white sheets and ghost skins, but he chose to minister to them and become a spiritual advisor, as he once had when it was time for him to reform. Some were saved, others weren't and many Stevie shut down, either way. Some, after being rehabilitated, Stevie joined with to help him keep them from destroying other lives, something Sam also disagreed with, because he didn't want those who were freshly out of the life to get sucked back in. So, it had been about two years since Sam and Stevie had a decent conversation, and about the same amount of time since Stevie and Matt's unlikely alliance.

Matt, as a well known activist, journalist, commentator and political critic was easily tied to Stevie and they were both listed as persons of interest with the government, openly supported BLM and seemed to also support Antifa. They each spoke of intersectionality, hated white supremacy and uplifted black women, though Matt will still contest that Stevie's uplifting is fetishizing...

Their defense teams worked together to get them released and charges dropped, but both were positive that they were still being watched. They decided to combine resources and exchange information. Many people thought that at least Stevie, if not Matt, was a domestic threat, or at the very least a vigilante. There was no proof, but Sam did not want his church connected to any possible illegal actions and kept his distance from their dealings.

.

Mercedes was smiling and parting with the people leaving out of the building when her phone buzzed and she answering, "Babydoll Evans…"

"Doll…" It was Stevie.

"Hey! What's up? I'm just well-wishing the people leaving from the church vigil." He was silent. "I wanted to be there. Stacie said she'd go for me and for her."

"I know it's not your fault. I was just wondering if y'all have been roped into Cheri's St. Patrick's Day/Birthday Bash Reunion?"

"Are you sure _that's_ what you're trying to ask me?"  
"Positive."

"I'm down, but Sam is still thinking about it. With us being disconnected from The R Word franchise - I doubt that he'll do it. I'm sorry. It's like we went from a brand in one lifestyle to a very similar brand in another lifestyle and we just have to make sure that the church is safe. For the sake of the congregation and all of these souls, as well as ourselves." She sighed.

"It's okay. So… Y'all did a thing at the church, then? Maybe that'll help Phai and Matt feel a little better about y'all not showing up for someone who has never ducked out on y'all."

"Stevie… I promise you, I really wanted to be there…"

"You're on the phone with Stevie?" Sam asked in the background. Stevie hung up and tossed his phone into the passenger's seat...

Mercedes led a talk show panel that started out as a podcast she put on her blog, called the Blind Leading the Blind, branched out to be a studio talk show sponsored by a radio station, and grew to status of live studio talk show with a panel of blind women who spoke about their issues, ableism at large, world issues, entertainment, and featured blind people who did great things and made history. Her personality and the arrangement of guests grew the fan base to mainstream. _Everybody Ain't Able_ became a leading organization to address ableism and accessibility and Mercedes went on to create another blog similar to it, a sister site, _But God Is (Able),_ the Christian based similar space, affiliated with Sam and Joe's church, The Abundant Life and Enduring Truth Church, which they usually just called "Life Church."

Sam and Joe ran the church together - a multigenerational, multicultural megachurch and Mercedes was the First Lady, while Stacie was the Asst. Pastor's Wife and First Lady's Right Hand.

Mercedes didn't work at the church much. Mostly, she posed for photos, showed up with Sam at various events, and worked on her show. It was her passion. She now had people to handle all of the things that she once had "an assistant" for. She had a whole team. She sold Pieces of Mercy to equal partners - Santana, Lauren and Becky and while they still had her listed as the founder, she had not touched anything related to the business in about three years. Her eldest son, Heaven was four now, and she also had another son, Bliss and a daughter named Blessing - both were two. Between being a pastor's wife, mother of three, talk show lead, and running a very popular blog, she rarely had time to even do social events. Fortunately, her church work and or job were things that she loved and had fun doing.

Stacie also had work that she loved doing, no kids yet, but she was still working on her education and able to do work pertaining to her degree at an environmental conservation facility and horticulture around the church and at home. Honestly, she and Joe were leery about having children. They both were apprehensive about the current economy and the state of the nation, as well as the world. They lived sheltered enough lives, but she remembered and knew the kinds of things that happened outside of her bubble. Stevie made sure of that, any time that she saw him.

 _She_ had come to the rally, but not been able to get to him. She cut through the crowd to get as close as possible to the stage, because he was setting to the right of it, or he was standing in the back, but when she tried to get over to him, guards let her know that area was restricted. Only the organizers, speakers and partners were allowed back there. She pointed at Stevie, "You see that guy with the beard and the hair in the back, that's my brother. You can't tell because his beard, but we're twins. He invited me and it's important that I let him know that I'm here, so can you at least go tell him that?"

"Miss… If I were to do that, you could come past this border. If he's your twin, just call him and tell him you're here."

Of course, she had already tried that. He didn't answer. She waved her arms and called, "STEVIE! STEVIE!" The guard gently pushed her away from the area. Stevie didn't get her messages until after it was over and when he called her back she fussed, "I made a very big deal about being here and I couldn't even get to you!"

"I'm sorry. The security detail got amped up at the last minute. There were some alt right threats about starting a riot and Matt got paranoid. Thank you for coming, though. I could hear it in the background of your messages. Andrea liked you. Well, she thought you were sweet. She didn't really like white people."

"Not even you, the _White Knight for Black Lives_?"

"Stop. Are you heading back to your church to help get cleaned up?"

"Uh, no. We've got staff for that. I'm still in the traffic of the rally. Next time, pick me up. You guys get that special route. Was Cheri there?"

He laughed, "No. You know that she doesn't like to get involved…" He changed the subject, "But, are you trying to go to the party that she wants to throw?"

"I mean, I have to. It's for _our_ birthday."

"Among other things. Mostly, it's an excuse for her to party and put it onto one of her shows or channels or websites."

"Daddy and Mama T are going to be here, so I'm sure there's gonna be a less party type gathering for the family. Cowboy said he was excited to see his Uncle Sammy. He called me yesterday, actually."

"Cheri never locks her phone," Stevie said, shaking his head.

"She's been even more reckless than usual lately…" Stacie began.

"She's fine," Stevie cut her off. "I need to grab some sporting goods. Phai and I are going to punch out all of our stress. Talk to you soon."

"Okay…?" She was worried about him. They all always were, these days.

"Thank you so much for coming. _I_ appreciate it."

She smiled as the traffic finally appeared to be clearing up. "It was no problem at all."

.

Cheri had finished filming for the season, and to be honest, it was tiring, but also so much fun. She had gotten the job as a face-saving move by the producers after so many complaints on the nature of the representations. They figured that having someone who actually knew the real people on the show was a good way to show people that these were simply characters and the show was not actually connected to the real life people from the book. Of course, they also had to put a disclaimer in the opening to dignify that fact after Quinn's lawsuit, but Cheri had been a fan, the actor playing Sam was a fan of hers from her reality show times and she often mentioned wanting to be on it, so they made it happen for the fourth season.

After Nuclear Site, Cheri was the breakout "star" of the show. People loved the Steerio and the Stake, but the Cheri of it all - someone so delicate, yet tough and so naive but enduring was endearing to many people. They wanted to know more and see more, but Stacie had had enough and the guys didn't feel comfortable moving forward when everyone wasn't on board. Therefore, she was offered a different show - not a live in situation, but a follow around situation with limitations to the camera access.

Getting an Extension was a look at her extended family - the Robinsons, her grandparents on both sides and how they connected with the Schuesters. But, that had a shelf life because despite her mother's snarkiness that usually made reality TV juicy, Radja turned off so many people with her disdain for Stevie that the show was a flop.

So, she was extremely shocked and honored when a network spoke to her about YET another show. Born to Shine was about her trying to get back into pageantry and in the course of it, she had knee surgery, worked on pageant panels and had some auditions, because she thought that perhaps if she could get into shows in any form, it didn't have to be pageants. She and Jake went to various auditions and he went into theater while she began to make guest appearances on different popular shows as a one time character or an extra.

Twin Magnet was about her being a twin's wife, a twin's best friend, and mother of two sets of twins. But, since Stacie was still against the concept of reality TV, the studio asked Mason to serve as Cheri's "best friend." That one deserved another season and they were in the works for it when she was contacted for the role of Giselle St. John in The R Word series. She didn't even think twice about accepting it!

.

Mercedes came into the living room, where Sam was on the couch with a sleeping Bliss next to him, and a 'fighting her sleep' Blessing on one side of his lap and Heaven on the other as he read them a story. She reached around for him he took her hand to bring her next to him, on the empty spot. "Hey. Are we going to go to that party? It feels wrong to miss it, no matter what's going on between you and Stevie, but also.. It seems like going might make it less enjoyable for him."

Sam cleared his throat and sighed, "I guess… We'll see how dinner goes."


	2. The Rupture

**The Rupture**

The set nanny brought the children to Cheri's dressing room as she was getting ready to cart her luggage out to the parking lot. She checked all of them, just because she knew that the set people sometimes couldn't tell the black kids apart and she wasn't trying to drive across the country with somebody else's child before one of hers asked where their sibling was. She began to put the smaller twins in first. Charmaine had a high ponytail with a huge bow as she climbed into the pink range rover that Stevie bought Cheri for her 21st birthday. Sterling generally let Cheri help him and after he was latched in, she helped Charmaine with her safety seat, already in progress doing it herself. The three year olds were set. The four year olds were next - Sherwood had gotten into his seat and tried to secure himself. Sheva _had_ secured herself. And of course, Cowboy was already seated, secured and cheering for the road trip.

She put on some movies for them, but was extremely unsettled about having to drive all the way to Ohio by herself. Stevie wasn't able to make it back to California between New York and Ohio with all of the funeral and vigil services, which she understood. She didn't give him a hard time about it, as he hadn't given her a hard time about finishing up some interviews before heading home. The only times this was probably going to really bother her was when she had to stop for them to use the potty. She already was nervous thinking about it. She dialed Stevie.

"Yes, Ma'am?" He answered.

"So, I am just leaving the studio right now, but I was wondering if I can buddy call you whenever I need to stop for a bathroom break or something?" He sighed. "If it's too much to ask, I can find somebody else!"

"Why would it be too much to ask? Why would you even _ask?_ You're my wife and traveling with my children." He sounded annoyed.

"Sorry. Somebody's cranky," she tried to play off the lowkey hurt feelings of him snapping at her, probably with his lofty friends all around him. He didn't reply. "Ok, well, that's all I wanted to know. We'll be on our way, then. Have a good night…"

"You too." He hung up and she shut her eyes, collected herself with a few deep breaths and got into the vehicle.

.

"Uh, who are you talking to?" Aphasia asked.

"Cheri."

"Like she's some dog on the street?" Aphasia asked.

"Did it sound rude?" He asked back.

She gave him an incredulous look. "If Matthew had spoken to me that way, I would spend the whole drive practicing how I'd tear into his ass as soon as I see him."

"She ain't as sensitive as you," Stevie said and shrugged. She punched him in the chest with her boxing glove and he jumped in pain. "Should I call her back and apologize?" She raised her fist and he dashed away, "Stop hitting me!"

When she saw Stevie calling back, she almost let it go to voicemail, but decided to just answer it. The kids had on headphones anyway. "I'm driving, so..."

"I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to sound mean."

"It was my fault," she said.

"I'm genuinely apologizing. I didn't mean to be rude."

"Have you seen your family yet?"

"Stacie tried to come out for Andrea, but I didn't get to see her. Took the flight back to New York and Jake is riding back with me in the RV."

"The RV is in New York right now, but you were in Ohio and you went back to New York and then are coming back to Ohio." She left the thought open, _but couldn't meet up with me in Cali._

"Yeah, everything was on such a tight schedule. But, we're going to get there probably not too long before you do. Are the locks the same on the house?"

"Our house? Yes, why wouldn't they be?" Now, she sounded annoyed.

"Because…" He stopped himself before his attitude came out again, "I just wanted to say I was sorry for speaking the way that I did to you before. I should never talk to you like that. You mean so much to me…"

"Oh! Um… I almost hit an animal. I have to go, okay…"

"I love you…" She hung up before he could complete the statement and turned on some of her music. She had about 16 hours to drive before making a hotel stop with five children and no babysitter. She couldn't focus on things with Stevie, right now. She had a feeling that as soon as she saw him, though, everything would be alright. He could do no wrong and she wouldn't even know what it was that she was upset about before.

.

Joe's long dark hair was pulled into a ponytail, for him to be able to properly work. As Sam's Assistant Pastor, he had plenty of duties around the church, heading all of the outreach functions and had personally been responsible for erected and servicing community centers, much like the one he previously worked at for Shane. Friends and former coworkers from the community center he worked at usually connected with these other centers that he made available. But, this particular event had nothing to do with that. This was simply… Family stuff.

Sam and Joe had always gotten along. Joe loved Sam from the moment that he met him, as he generally does with people - in the sense that he will do whatever he can to help them out and care for their needs. Well, over the years, they became friends, then colaborers, then family. Joe adored both of his brother-in-laws and he and Stacie frequently would try to bridge the ever-growing space between the two of them. So far, nothing was working.

But, they were going to keep trying… and they also were going to have both of them in the recreation building on the church grounds, for a family reunion typed thing for the twins' 24th birthday. Joe initially wondered why it was going to be done for the 24th and not the 25th or something, but the only reason that they were doing this was to have an alternative to the sure to be extravagant party that Cheri was going to throw for them.

Presently, Joe, Stacie, and the decorating committee were working on setting the banquet room up. The committee tried to get Stacie to leave them to it, but she was used to these things, especially with her family and she wanted to make sure that she thought of every single detail to make this the least awkward that it could be and give them the most opportunities for good conversations. They called her the "2nd Lady" of the church and tried to remind her that this was for her birthday, but she simply reminded them that it was for her _family,_ "My extremely dysfunctional, on again-off again family that hasn't had every one of us in the same room for any type of celebration for almost two years. I always have to see these people separately, because we've scattered and even when we weren't scattered, there were always definitely problems to be had. So, please… Just, follow my lead again. Thanks."

Stevie sounded weird when she spoke to him, but he had also recently lost a friend, so that made sense. It was just that she knew of him losing others and this seemed different. Maybe he was as stressed out about all of this as she was. At 24, they were doing their own things. They didn't get together much. Stevie was usually on the road, whether in California with Cheri filming, in New York working with Matt on something, or traveling and making appearances on panels and in studios. The last time she had really had time to sit with him, he had been working on a script, but he must have stopped soon after he was arrested a year ago… Again. She sighed. Stevie had been arrested a few times, generally on bogus charges, but that time it had been significant. It also was pertaining to their step brother, Jake… who she also had not seen in as much time. Stevie was not one for games when it came to Jake. They were best friends and they were brothers. They were what he had once hoped he and Sam would grow up to be.

"StaceFace!" Joe called, sounding like it was not the first time. She looked at him and he smiled and repeated, "They're trying to find the centerpieces…"

"Yeah," she said and waved them over to follow her to the storage area.

.

Mercedes called out, "Heaven! Do you have eyes on the twins?"

"Yes."

"Bring one to me, please?" She asked him politely, with a smile and sunglasses on. Heaven hoisted Blessing up and brought her over, even though he could have guided her by the hand more easily. Mercedes touched her face and smiled at her, "Hi, Blessing. Let Mommy put your leash on you, okay?" She held onto the girls head and she nodded. Mercedes began to work with the straps on her daughter's person, humming to herself as she did and after a while asked, "Can you also bring Bliss over, Heaven?"

"Yes, Mommy!" He answered, almost in a 'duh' tone and she heard his feet pattering on the floor, then more feet, and they were both running around now. Blessing tried to get off of her lap, because obviously, she now needed to run too.

"Bliss! Please come to Mommy!" Mercedes called. She still heard the running and now, Blessing was off of her lap and joining in, she heard the leash trailed on the floor behind her and the laughter of all three. She stood up and walked towards the door, "Okay! Only ones with a leash to hand to Mommy get to leave."

"No, Mommy!" Bliss called and she heard his footsteps running over to her and him say, "Here, here, here…" So she collected the leash from him and picked him up to connect it. He set him on the floor and called, "Blessing, come give Mommy your leash.." The girl giggled. "Blessing, Me and your brothers are going to leave you here."

"I play wiff dogs!" She called back.

"Get her, Heaven," Mercedes said and then she heard Blessing scream, both of them running then, Heaven brought her to the door and handed her leash to Mercedes. She generally took both leashes in her right hand and held Heaven's hand with her left. When they got outside, she tightened the leashes to pull the toddlers closer to her, got Kissy's handle and made her way out. She had learned the neighborhood long before the kids were around, so traveling it was not hard for her, but it took some new training to get Kissy used to working with the kids present. At one point when the twins were little, she would carry them all in a stroller, even Heaven, as a toddler. But, one unfortunate day, he'd decided that he was ready to get out and had fallen off of the stroller, trying to climb down and screamed bloody murder.

It was terrifying. She didn't know if he was hurt, if anyone was nearby who could help, or what exactly had happened to him. She collected him, trying to calm him down as the twins remained in the stroller, and quickly called Sam to collect them, but she could only tell him the general idea of where she was, because she hadn't learned street names, just distances with the time it took her to walk. It wasn't hard to find her, but she was too afraid to put Heaven in the stroller again, lest he climb out and actually hurt himself the next time. He was a little bit lighter skinned than she was, not as golden as the twins, but they all had a lot of hair. Heaven's hair was wavy and long. It usually hung down his shoulders, if they didn't tie it up or braid it. Bliss had light brown curly hair in a large afro and Blessing had even tighter curls, but her hair was an afro, as well.

The twins resembled Sam, while Heaven looked even more like Mercedes than he had when he was born. She touched their faces everyday, several times a day, and whenever she asked them questions, she would place her hands gently on the sides of their heads to collect their answers. They all were cohesive to realize that they only needed to do this with her and not with Daddy, but Heaven was the only one who really understood why. She had told him to cover up both of his eyes with his hands and when he did, she said, "That's how Mommy sees."

"But, I _can't_ see, Mommy!" He told her. He uncovered his eyes and looked at her and started waving his hands in front of her face.

"I can feel you," she told him. But, my eyes don't let me see what you're doing."

He had asked her if she could see various things before he got the message, that she could not see any of those things or anything. She touched his face, "But, that's why Mommy always touches your face like this. Because I can't see, but I can feel you." He gave her a hug and had been trying to help her out at home ever since.

The church was only a couple of blocks from their house, so she sometimes walked there. People in the neighborhood knew her, so they were safe and between Kissy, Heaven, and any concerned neighbor, they never had any troubles like stepping into puddles or in front of a vehicle or anything.

She could recognize many of the voices around the area and many of them called her Babydoll, mentioned her show, or whenever they saw her at church or heard one of Sam's sermons - they would tell her. She was so cozy in this place and even though she did care about everything that was going on, she really was glad to be able to fallback on Sam as the reason that they couldn't get their hands dirty. The children walking closely in front of her and at her sides were all the reason in the world, as far as she was concerned to just enjoy life and live it to the best of her resources.

Everything that she ever used to do as a Christian woman, thanks to this church she could do tenfold. She used to take people into her home or shop when they needed it. Now, the church had an entire shelter for that. She was donating to the same charities and organizations that she always did, and now - with her tax cuts, she could donate to even more. She didn't have a chance to volunteer as much to help underprivileged and handicapped kids, organize events and support advancements in mental health studies and research, but she did now have an entire national organization arranged for creating volunteers, beneficiaries, and more in those areas and communities. It wasn't like she was simply sitting around doing nothing just because she couldn't go out and storm the gates. Still, she somehow felt like with her comfort and her money and her sweet life… that there must have been something wrong with how she had chosen to help the world.

If she was really fighting an evil world… wouldn't she be having some problems? Wouldn't there be some sorrows? She and Sam had not had any type of issues from financial to romantic to mental in years, besides the rupture between he and Stevie. Even that was a detached sort of hurt. It was one of those types of hurt that you generally feel for starving children overseas. It's awful and you hate it, but it only ever troubles you when the commercial comes on. The only reason that she was thinking about all of this was because of this family gathering that they were having.

Last year. Stacie and Joe had went on a double date with Mercedes and Sam for Stacie's birthday. Mason and Jake were taking Stevie out. Tangibly, all hell broke loose, as generally happens with Stevie and since then, he had been different. He wasn't telling them everything, but something happened that must have cracked him. Whatever it was, they were going to be all back together again in a couple of days. _Lord help us._

.

St. Patrick's Day was on a Saturday this year, so Stacie arranged the family dinner for the Friday before. Cheri's party was scheduled for the actual birth date, and of course, Life Church had services the following Sunday. Friday, Stevie showed up with Jake. He had brought him back to town with him from New York when he was there for some business with helping Matt and Aphasia load their things for their upcoming relocation back to Ohio.

When they came into the rec center banquet room, Jake was about to comment on the obvious 'Stacefication' of the decorum, but Tanisha squealed and came rushing over to them. "My boys!" She cheered and gave them both long, hard hugs. "Look at you, Jay-Jay! All cosmopolitan and everything. Metrosexual… Is that still a thing? What happened to it, if not?" She waved a hand. "And you.. Serving me all types of Jackson Teller, Sons of Anarchy teas. You'd better not be jumping on any motorcycles. I worry about you enough as is, pissing off all of those cops. Are you going to clip your split ends, at least? This is giving me the cartoons where somebody practices romance on a mop vibes."

Stevie shook his head, "We just walked in and you're already working on your material for your next tour?" He asked.

She scoffed, "I rarely do work on material. I just talk bad about you guys with a beer in my hand and Dwight next to me holding a guitar and being the straight man. Big ups to Marley for calling it perfectly when she said that I should be a comedienne. Miss that girl," She told Jake.

He sighed, "Well, you took almost as long to like her as the relationship lasted!"

"I liked her, we just didn't gel, you know? I don't gel with that other girl either, but at least she's black."

"He's here to stay now. Once you go black…" Tanisha pointed a finger right at Stevie's face and he pushed it out of the way.

Sam came into the building around that time. Jake asked, "Are you going to run over and hug him and nearly tackle him to the floor?"

"Why do you ask?" She asked him as Sam reached them and greeted everyone with hugs and hellos.

Stevie kept his arms folded and simply gave him a head nod.

Sam studied Stevie's face. His body language could almost always be interpreted as aggressive, but usually, you could tell from his face whether or not he was in the mood to be sensible. He seemed to be in high spirits. He was with Jake and Mama T, after all. But, he had avoided touching Sam and still hadn't actually spoken to him, so Sam couldn't be sure of how he was feeling, specifically toward him at the moment. "Can I talk to you?" He asked.

"You can talk to me with them here. I tell them everything, anyway."

"He does," they both said, Tanisha with a shrug and Jake with a nod.

Sam nodded, "Okay. I was just going to say that I know you were really upset that we couldn't make the rally."

"Let me stop you there. Because you _could_ make the rally. What pissed me off is that you _chose_ to instead hole yourself up in the church and skip coming," Stevie corrected him. "A couple of months ago, you put an MLK quote as the header for your Facebook page. I thought it was comical, because I'm more like him than you are. You're going to stand in your pulpit in a couple of days and preach about how important it is to know Christ and get saved, when my atheist ass is more like Christ than you are. I might not believe in the mythos, but he wasn't a coward!"

Tanisha's eyes were wide and she took Stevie's hand, "Hey, come walk with me. You haven't had a chance to say hi to your dad." She gave Sam a sympathetic look over her shoulder as she rubbed on Stevie's back and guided him over to Dwight.

Jake just stood there awkwardly, unsure if he should follow them or not. Instead, he turned to Sam and said, "The church looks good. I don't think I'd had the chance to see it before."

"Thanks. And, congrats on your Broadway assignment."

"You congratulated me when I made my announcement, online..." Jake reminded him. "I'm in the dance company. It's going to be pretty cool, but I won't be able to leave New York again any time soon, so this weekend is like my last hurrah before it gets thick."

Sam nodded, "Well, either way, I'm proud of you." Jake furrowed his eyebrows. It was really weird to talk to Sam, to be honest. They had never gotten close and the most that they talked before being forced together in that safe house was Jake being suspicious of him and him being threatening in return. Then, after Stevie told Jake the truth about his brother, Jake specifically remembered that Sam never reached out to explain himself or apologize or anything. Aphasia and Mercedes had. Tina had. Even Stevie had apologized, and he wasn't even part of the conspiracy, not really. Just.. Jake didn't FW him and that was fine for him. They only communicated online, where Sam said similar things, but many of the older people online did. He smiled and went on his way.

.

They blessed the food, placed everything on the table and decided to start eating. Sam fixed plates for the kids while Mercedes, Stacie and Stevie sat talking and Jake and Dwight dug in quickly. Tanisha wasn't hungry yet, so she was doing her usual bit of making jokes and such, mindful to try not to be too crass with preachers and kids present and in a church facility no less. She and Mercedes still fed off of each other with the jokes, but many times, Tanisha stopped just short of a punchline, anytime she realized it might be inappropriate. She could hardly wait until the party the next night, where her filter could be shut off.

Sam began talking about the service on Sunday and invited everyone to come, even saying that he would reserve a section in the front for them to sit, so that he could show them off. Stevie gave Sam a tight smile and his ears reddened as he moved his fork around aimlessly on his plate. "So, I suppose that now you have a problem with me inviting the family to church?"

"Not at all, Honestly, it's just your voice, continually going, even though you're not saying anything worth hearing," Stevie said.

Stacie touched his shoulder, "Stevie, please…"

He shrugged her hand off and shook his head. "I wasn't going to say anything, but he asked."

Sam continued, though. "Stevie, I don't know how many times I have to apologize to you for you to just be able to enjoy this family time."

"You don't owe me an apology, You owe your black loved ones an apology. Aphasia has already talked to you about this. You added it to your award winning book, and then just proceeded to continue in the same vein. Because you built this church on their backs and you can't be bothered to show up when one of them dies, miserably."

Sam had gotten up and was walking around the table and Mercedes was reaching in his empty spot and panicking about why his voice was traveling. "I give what I can and do what I can. What I can't do is run into possible war zones when I have a wife and three small kids at home. Just because you're willing to lose it all by being out there, repeatedly fighting the system doesn't mean that I need to risk everything, as well."

Stevie stood up too, seemingly prepared for if Sam stepped to him as he retorted, "Everything that I do is to make this place a better place for my wife and my kids!"

"And how exactly is that working out for your wife and kids… who haven't even shown up yet… For _your_ birthday celebration…" Sam pointed out, almost reaching him, but with Stacie holding Stevie back and Joe holding Sam back.

Stevie honestly was ready to pounce over their heads to get to him, but Stacie grabbed his arm and said to Sam, "She's running a little late, for your information! What is wrong with the two of you? This is the first time that we've gathered like this as a family and y'all won't squash this thing just for a few days? If you both forgot, this is MY birthday celebration, too!" Joe reached over to take her hold off of Stevie's arm, because she was starting to claw. Stevie didn't notice it. He was more focused on what she'd just said.

"I'm sorry, Stacie. You're right. This is for you, That's why we're here." He gave her a hug, but was still glaring over at Sam. His phone began to play Redbone by Childish Gambino and he was actually relieved for the interruption. A photo of Cheri and the children lit up on the screen and he answered, turning from Stacie's hug and heading towards the door.

Jake held out his hands, "What the hell, Man?" He asked Sam. "Look, I know better than anybody that Stevie can be hard to handle lately. He's been angry, sad and everything else avoidable in between, but he's trying to do some good in the world and he had a point. Dr. King was going wherever they were attacking black citizens. Jesus - a Jew, btw, also black - set right in the midst of the people that he aimed to help. Nobody else here is gonna say it besides Stevie, but ducking out on Andrea was a bitch move, Dude."

"Both of them were killed for their efforts. And here we are, still fighting the same fights today," Sam commented.

" _We're_ not fighting though. Stevie is. And we should support him because who else will do it, if not the church? The government isn't. And for a church whose motto or mission or brand or whatever the hell terminology you use is 'Christian decency and radical brotherly love' there should be no way that I'm a better brother to your brother than you are, yet..." Jake held out his hands and returned to his plate, shaking his head.

Tanisha blew out a huff of air and said, "I think that I'm finally ready to fix a plate." She went to the buffet table as Stevie went outside, Sam apologized to Stacie and Dwight trashed his plate. He came over to her at the table and she huffed. "He's out of line," she said.

"How is he out of line? He has the right to protect himself for his family."

"He doesn't have to keep pushing Stevie to do that."

"Stevie was being a little shit," Dwight said.

"You're always hard on him and he's the one that needs your compassion the most."

"How did you let him convince you of that?"

"I don't need anybody to convince me of anything. I've been watching it happen. You made it out to be like Stevie was this unreasonable young man incapable of forgiveness or rationality, when really, you're just incapable of defending him against Sam. I'm always paying attention and I have always noticed, before I ever even had a conversation with Stevie that you side with Sam, no matter what happened."

"You think that was Sam's fault?"

"I think that he's the older of the two by eight years, that he's apparently a preacher, so I'm thinking supposed to be I don't know… all Christian. I think that Stevie's face says a lot, but if he's content to hold it in, why press him then strikeback when he answers?"

"Okay. Agree to disagree."

"No. Sam was wrong, and you're wrong to back him up." She walked away with barely anything on her plate.

Dwight held his head and went to pull Sam aside. Sam smirked, "Let me guess, you've been tasked by your wife to come chew me out on behalf of Stevie. Trust me, I've already gotten it from everybody. I'll talk to him. I was wrong."

Dwight sighed, "She doesn't have a reason to be biased about it and she's never lied to me before. If she honestly sees it as me playing favorites, that's what she's observing. We have always been closer. Maybe I missed the window to get close to Stevie and it clouds my judgement. He does need all the support that he can get right now. That's the Christian thing."

"I'm trying. I have no idea how we keep fighting like this."

"Both of you have always had really bad tempers, so when you came back and y'all were on different paths, it was explosive from there. Y'all were doing okay for a little bit, then it always comes back to rivalry."

"There is no rivalry, He's just always angry at me and I'm expected to just take it. Like, I only have two cheeks to turn. Stevie acts like a child. He has tantrums and every woman in the area just flocks to kiss his booboos because he lost his mommy and has to take medication."

Dwight looked shocked at the vitriol in Sam's outburst. "Are we sure _he's_ the angry one?"

"All I'm saying is that I tried to save him before he really messed his life up and he didn't listen to me, but it's still somehow my fault, everything that has happened to everyone since I was sixteen!"

"Maybe the two of you just need to sit down, talk everything out, and I mean everything, with nobody to interrupt and nothing to distract you."

"That would likely end in bleeding."

"Maybe you need that too. Hell, sometimes fighting it out loosens up the aggression… Don't even think about ever telling Nisha I said that. She's upset enough with me, as is."

"I just want my life to go back to not being about whether or not I've upset Stevie. How is that a hard ask?" Sam asked and changed the subject, "That party tomorrow night, are y'all going?"

"She's hosting," he said, pointing a thumb at Tanisha. "So, basically, I am the designated driver."

"How does she have a working liver?"

"It's built of steel or something."

.

Stevie watched the eyesore that he knew that she would love to the point that it was still one of the biggest purchases he had ever made in his entire life, (She did love it and even added on more gaudy ridiculousness to it in the year that she had it) pulled up as he was hanging up the phone. Through the slightly tinted windows with glittery sparkle decals, he could see the children screaming and bouncing at the sight of him waiting outside.

Almost as soon as the car came to a stop, Cowboy was out of his seat and getting out, "Daddy!" Cowboy immediately said, "Daddy, you didn't shave it!"

Stevie said, "Well if I did that, this wouldn't tickle…" And proceeded to pull him close and blow raspberries on him.

Cheri got out to unlatch the others from their safety seats as Cowboy and Stevie greeted each other with hugs and kisses. Each child she released rushed to join in on the fun. Daddy was the fun one. Mommy was the one that tried to make sure that they ate healthy and were clean… Not fun… She grabbed a roll of trash bags and began to collect everything that they had discarded in the vehicle and glanced around for a dumpster to toss it in.

Hugging three kids was difficult enough, but then the second pair were there too and they all were hanging onto him and all trying to talk at the same time. Stevie eventually stopped tickling, blowing raspberries and letting them grab his beard and comment on how long it was now. Cheri was standing near them all. He stood up and Cheri had taken off her shades and hat and stuck them into the bag she was holding. Now, it was just tanned brown skin with a thin, lacy, floral romper fluttering softly in the breeze and her freckled face smiling up at him.

He hadn't seen her since before Andrea's death, not in the way that he should have been. But, she reached out to him for a hug and he couldn't resist giving her one. It felt so good, he thought he might fall apart inside of it. She jumped and touched her neck. "Sorry. The beard."

"It is WAY too long!" She fussed, playfully and gave it a tiny tug like she had just seen Charmaine give it. He blushed and moved her hand.

"Stop it."

The kids laughed. Sherwood said, "Mommy made Daddy blush!" And cackled. They always got a kick out of that, and they didn't get to see their parents together a whole lot anymore, so Stevie expected them to latch on to every little interaction, which smoothly became their usual flow. She picked up their youngest daughter, he picked up their youngest son, Sherwood and Sheva latched on to Stevie's back pockets and Cowboy tried to pull his mother's hand forward, got tired of it and rushed ahead, announcing whenever he was looking both ways so that nobody reminded him to do it.

Stacie and Tanisha rushed to greet her and talk about how good she looked and everything. "Oh, this is after hours of makeup and hair prep, but thank you." Tanisha was honestly just ready for grandkids, and grabbed them up, offering to go make them plates while Stacie pulled Cheri off to the side of the room to quietly catch up with her. Both ladies gave Stevie a look to let them go without him, so he went to help out with the plates. Stacie was probably going to replay what had happened, like Stevie really needed that added to the list of stressors Cheri had. Sam was frequently wrong about things, but he hadn't been wrong about Cheri…

Sterling was saying something very quietly and Stevie leaned closer to him, even though he was right in his arms. The 3 year old boy was their quietest child. "Could I also have some food, please, Daddy?" he repeated.

Stevie smiled at him, "Of course, Buddy. Sorry. Daddy was just looking at Mommy and thinking about how much he loves her."

"Mommy does that too," the boy said in practically a whisper. Then a little bit louder, but not by much laughed and said, "You're blushing again, Daddy!" Stevie gave him a kiss on the forehead and put him down on the floor.

Heaven got up almost as soon as he saw Cowboy and ran over to him with Sam calling, "Heaven, please don't run inside…" but the kid was gone. His favorite cousin had shown up and nothing else ever mattered. Cheri made it back to the table with Stacie, who took her seat while Cheri made rounds, greeting them all with hugs and kisses on the cheek or near it. When she got to Sam, she just said, "And you," nodded her head once at him, and walked off.

Sam chuckled. "Wow."

"She's Stevie's gal, Sam. You oughtta know by now, she's got his back."

"She doesn't even agree with him. _She_ wasn't there either!"

Stacie commented, "She's not hitting him below the belt over it in front of everyone, either."

"I told you that I was sorry. I shouldn't have said that. But, you can't tell me that this hasn't caused problems between them…"

"Every couple has problems, and stop discussing this!" Stacie fussed, almost ready to cry. "Please."

Joe offered, "I'm just glad that the whole family is here to be able to celebrate my favorite person's birthday. Did everybody see this room? She pretty much envisioned this and then had everyone put it together. I'm always impressed by her eye for art." She smiled.

Stevie was returning to the table after having sent the kids to the kiddie table with their plates, "I was going to say something about that when we first got here, but then grizzly hands mcgee over here" he pointed at Tanisha, "Came up to try to squeeze the life outta me and Jake…"

Tanisha sat back down, too. "I. Know. You. Ain't. Tryna." Her eyes were wide and she nodded her head.

While the two were tearing into each other at the table, making mostly everyone laugh, Mercedes leaned into Sam and whispered, "So… I am getting a strong sign of ' _no'_ for the party tomorrow?"

"I won't be there," Sam said.

"But, you don't mind if I go, because I definitely would like to be able to go and dance with my sisters-in-law… is it sister-in-laws? I always have trouble with that."

"I'll watch the kids or something and save a babysitter check," he said.

"I'll tell them," she said.


	3. The Revolutionaries

_Song mentioned: Missing You by Brandy, Gladys Knight, Chaka Khan and Tamia, from the Set It Off Soundtrack 1996._

 **The Revolutionaries**

Sam already had eight children somehow seated in the living room when he heard the doorbell and Cowboy rushed to it. "Cowboy, please don't go to the…door alone..."

"MASON!" The kid screamed and Sam rushed to the door, to greet the incoming. Heaven was now at the door too.

Mason Sr. smiled at Sam and said, "Hi, Mr. Evans! Mrs. Evans said that we could drop off the twins to hang out with their good buddies…" Immediately the McCarthy kids and Stevie's kids started talking and yelling together, laughing and so on and it was already louder than it had ever been in this house. Mason raised his voice to speak over them, "Major I is very good at keeping order with Sheva and Charmaine because they both look up to her, but you'll have to keep an eye on whether or not Mason II and Sherwood have wandered off together. They're the troublemakers when they combine their powers. Normally, I would say that Cowboy would try to reign them in, but I've never been around him when your oldest son is around, so I'm not sure if he's going to be distracted." Mason was pointing them out to Sam as he explained, and Sam almost wanted to be offended, because Mason literally was in the business of telling men how to properly care for others, but as Mason was giving him the info, he was reminded that this man knew his nieces and nephews better than he did. "Now, Sterling will not give you any trouble whatsoever, but I always try to just check in with him to see if he has any needs to be met, because he's shy about asking for things and would go without to avoid bothering you if you appear to be busy or upset. And with this bunch, I can easily imagine appearing to be upset, even if you aren't. WOW. Maybe I should stay here and help you out!" He joked.

"Mercy didn't tell me that it would be 10 kids instead of 8, but I guess that was a miscommunication."

Mason stretched his bottom lip across his face with a bottom row of teeth smile and said through it, "She actually told _everyone_ to bring their children to you…" his voice raised in pitch towards the end of the announcement.

"Who is everyone?" Sam wondered.

Then, he saw Tina's pull up in a rental car and his eyes widened. He hadn't seen her since their family trip to Hawaii last year and even then, they hadn't been able to really hang out too long. Mason offered, "Well, Mattie's going to be with Phai's family. So, you at least won't have that one. But…" He backed away and rushed to his car while Sam hugged Tina and was reintroduced to the girls, whose names he was already sure that it would take him a few more times to learn.

By the time that Quinn entered the house, still holding on to her spare key, Sam realized, there were now 16 children in his home. She looked around at what already looked like a disaster area and smiled, awkwardly. "Sam… Where is your help?" She wondered.

"It's me. I'm the help tonight. I volunteered." He laughed nervously.

"For _this?"_ she asked.

He whispered, "You know that I didn't volunteer for _this!"_

She fought a smile and beckoned her girls over. "Okay, Beth. You're on point for this."

"I'm ready, Mom."

"Enlist Kalama and Oliana, let them know the rates - a dollar per your age year, hourly, until everyone is asleep. That goes for you too, Rose. Between the four of you, Uncle Sammy shouldn't have any trouble with anybody under 6."

Sam watched with furrowed eyebrows and almost laughed, but Beth commented in a voice as professional as her mother's, "Kalama will probably be better suited for Uncle Sammy's three, because they live here and their dad's here. Leinani will stay close to Oliana all night anyway, if she adds just Sterling to that, those two are the easiest and even at 9, she should be fine with the three. Rose is better equipped to babysit than Oli, anyway. Rose can take the McEvans girls," To Rose she said, "That's Sheva, Charmaine and her," she pointed at Major I, not sure of her name. "That leaves me with the troublemakers Boy Mason and Sherwood which I'll rope Cowboy in to be my little eyes and ears, and leaves Uncle Sammy with," she handed Quinn's youngest daughter to Sam, "Becca."

Sam blinked, "Wait, what. I have a house full of children, and you expect me to just watch your youngest daughter?" He asked Quinn.

"Beth has a house full of children that she is capable of keeping up with. I am paying her, her sister and Tina's older daughters to watch them for you. As a show of gratitude, yes… You're in charge of Rebecca," She handed him a small planner. "Here is how to manage her diabetes. You're welcome." She patted him on the back.

Beth now said, "Uncle Sammy, you are also in charge of paying for the food and any entertainment or injuries that may be sustained under one of the other girls' watch. I'm a junior counselor at the Future Business Women of America Camp, so I can account for about 12 children on my own, but if they get separated into different rooms, that will dillude my ability."

Sam smiled, "Thank you. And thank you, Quinn."

"This is basically what I do everywhere I go, and the kid has been seeing it since she was little." She was off to the party as well.

Rose wondered, "Which ones am I watching again?"

"Ohmygod, Rose, they are literally all sitting together, about to watch Moana for probably the 16th time, if they're anything like you," Beth replied. Rose laughed and headed for the younger girls while Beth went to find Tina's, to give them their orders. Sam was amazed, but honestly grateful. "Uncle Sammy, should I make you a small chart of who is responsible for who, for your own reference?"

"Ummm.." She retrieved the book from his hands and started jotting it in with the pen connected to it by a cloth strap:

 _Beth (13) - Cowboy (6), Boy Mason (4), Sherwood (4)_

 _Kalama (12) - Heaven (4), Bliss (2) Blessing (2)_

 _Oliana (9) - Leinani (6), Sterling (3) * That's the quiet one you need to check on/validate_

 _Rose (8) - Girl Mason (4), Sheva (4), Charmaine (3)_

 _You - Becca (3) Diabetes! Also food & entertainment._

 _Check with everyone every 45 minutes, for about 15 minute rounds._

She handed it back to him and offered, "You've got this Uncle Sammy." Then, went into the living room with the rest of them, holding her cell phone.

.

Mercedes was at a big table with all of her old friends there, near the front. Tina, Mike, Quinn, and some of the ladies that Stacie had worked at POM with - Unique, April, Becky, Santana, and Lauren. Cheri had set them a special place aside. She invited everyone from Pieces of Mercy Gift Shop, but the staff had changed since then, so she asked Lauren to invite anybody from back in the day when Stacie was there. Kurt and Blaine eventually came in too, and made their way to the table, carrying gifts, wondering where to even put them. Cheri skipped over and took them off of their hands, gave them hugs and went to put the gifts away.

Not too far away was a table with her R Word cast friends… well.. Ryder and Hunter were there, at least and Marley. Kitty had already told her that she wouldn't be able to make it, but honestly, Ryder and Hunter were the ones on set that Cheri was actually close with.

Stacie and Stevie were at the table right up front near the stage, with Mason, Jane, Jake, Bree, Joe and Cheri. On the stage was Tanisha Evans, hosting, providing a roast of the twins, announcing musical performances and such.

Stevie had trimmed his beard and pulled his hair back into a ponytail. Bree was in Jake's lap, seated next to Stevie. Marley was trying to avert her eyes from that, and focus on Ryder, next to her, but not quickly enough because Tanisha called on her name.

"Marley Rose Lynn, girl you'd better put those eyes back into your head. That new husband of yours is going to put you on probation." Marley laughed awkwardly about it and simply rubbed Ryder's knee. "Now, let me say this, that woman is responsible for pretty much all of this. She went to my son about 5 or 6 years ago and she brought him, Stevie, and later on Cheri, myself and my husband all into fame."

"They were already famous," Marley said, shaking her head as the spotlight shined on her.

"She's the reason that my son is going to be on Broadway! He blew up after that book she wrote about him _Wind Beneath My Wings: Jacob Puckerman, Pop Culture's Favorite Wingman."_ Now, Ryder looked uncomfortable, but Hunter found it hilarious. Cheri was doing the swipe across her neck symbol to Tanisha, but she didn't notice. "That book was so… Girl, it was about my baby and I still couldn't make myself read it. But, I tuned into the made for TV movie and even though I didn't read it, still sure that the book was better. You should have just given him an engagement ring and wifed him like old boy, there. You got you a good one, Kid. When Jake blew up, they broke up. You did the smart thing and blew up first, then put a ring on it." Cheri jumped up to a standing position, making the gesture again and Tanisha saw her and 'oops' gestured.

"Y'all gotta forgive me. I did this as a hobby for so long and thanks to Marley, I get to do it for a living. I sometimes forget my manners. We're all here to have a good time and laugh. Marley, I was serious when I said that you're a good one. That's a lucky young man you have there. And it's okay to look at this over here. I'd be looking too if a man slipped out on me with somebody else then brought her to a party that I was going to be at. I get it, Lady, You already know, I lived that tale for years before I got my upgrade."

Marley and Ryder were whispering to each other and she hoped it was okay, because she honestly was just doing her usual picking with people. She saw Matt and Aphasia approaching Stevie's table and Cheri tensed up at their arrival. But, as Tanisha toned down the joking to make things more smooth, she saw Stevie pulling up a couple of chairs for his friends.

Cheri found her way to the stage and Tanisha gave her the microphone.

"Hey, everyone. Thank you all so much for coming here tonight to celebrate the birth of my best friend and my best friend." She smiled at Stacie and Stevie. "Um.. recently, some very bad things have happened in our lives. I know that everyone here knows that my husband is an advocate for social reform and has been for the past few years. Um.. I've never really been that person. But, I do want him to know that just because I'm not as strong or brave as he is in these matters that doesn't mean that I don't care or don't appreciate everything that he does. Because… I… do." She was getting choked up and Stevie was concerned. He got up to go to her, but Jake took his hand and shook his head. Stevie paused and took a deep breath. "Um, so anyway… I couldn't make it to an observation for a friend that Stevie recently lost. I say friend, because there's not an appropriate word for it. They didn't hang out together. They didn't go to parties. They actually um fed kids… um, clothed homeless people. They gave people access to proper legal representation. He has no idea what her favorite song was or the book that changed her life. But, he could call her at any time and ask, "Can you look into this for me?" And as much as that was important to him, I can only imagine how important she was to the people that knew her. People who… I wouldn't be here today if it were not for them. I mean… I have Marley Lynn to thank for my career, but I owe my life to Matthew and Aphasia Rutherford, and also to Andrea Cohen, who was fighting for me at the lowest point in my life. So, while we celebrate Stevie and Stacie's life, their day to represent another year… I also wanted to, on behalf of them offer my own tribute to this woman, Andrea…" She left the stage as Mercedes and Jane stepped onto the stage, and the curtain behind them opened to reveal a choir. Aphasia was already in tears. Cheri gave Matt a hug from behind and thanked him.

The music began playing for a song that Stevie wasn't familiar with, but Matt was. It was called _Missing You_ and it was from the _Set It Off_ soundtrack, a movie from the 90s. It came out when they were 12 and they hadn't been allowed to see it at the time, but watched it later. He and Andrea didn't really go back to watch older movies, unless it was a black ass movie and that was not only a black ass movie, but had four female leads, one of them a lesbian character… it was one of Andrea's favorite damned movies and this was the song that played after the main character lost her friends, originally sang by four of R&B's greatest ladies and Matt lost all of his composure hearing two of his friends sing it for his sister. He put his head on the table and shook with the tears.

Jane and Mercedes both had excellent voices and the choir backing them up and Matt stood up, clapping and crying and the rest of the room joined him. He gave Cheri a big hug and she shook her head, "I was worried that you were going to feel like I blindsided you, but I was also worried that if I told you that you might not come and I just wanted you to know that I don't take for granted anything that she did for me when I was stuck in that place…"

He shook his head, "I didn't think that." He gave her a small smile, and Aphasia then hugged her and cupped her face and kissed her.

"That meant everything. Andrea would have been crying herself, even with all that thick skin if she had witnessed this." She gave her another hug and when they returned to their seats, Stevie squeezed Cheri's hand when she sat down.

Cheri leaned back onto Stevie's shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her and began to delicately stroke her side in the sparkly green dress she had on. His phone buzzed and it was a text from Jake: _Don't do it._

He gave Jake a confused look, to which Jake's answer was to nudge his head towards Cheri. Another text: _Don't forget what's really going on with you two._

Now, Stevie pursed his lips, turned off his phone and stuck it into his pocket; then he wrapped his other arm around Cheri and as she settled back onto his chest threw Jake a look and rolled his eyes at him. Jake simply shook his head, wrapped himself tighter around Bree, and glanced at Marley. She, Ryder and Hunter all appeared to be about to leave, but they headed for the table to wish Stevie and Stacie a happy birthday and kiss and hug Cheri goodbye. Marley avoided even glancing at him, but Bree was watching her extra hard just to make sure that she didn't.

.

Mercedes and Matt spoke as most of the guests were leaving (many of them heading out to a nightclub of some sort), "I kept telling Stevie that I really want to come, but unfortunately, in my situation, I can't just show up at such events."

"No, of course not, and I would never expect you to. Sam either, for that matter," Matt added. "My activism isn't determined by someone else's. I've seen your talk show. You've gotten woke since when I first met you," he teased. "But, a blind person, in something like that? I don't even want Cheri there with her knee, to be honest. Besides, you're a black woman. Just stepping outside everyday is a revolutionary act when the world wants you dead."

"I don't feel like it. Especially after talking to Stevie."

"I'll get him together."

"I really appreciate that you help him out and work with him. I know that you never liked Sam's family…"

"I never liked _Sam._ I mean.. Describe it however you can sleep next to him at night, he helped to kill my family. Stevie didn't. And I did target Stevie and the others, always letting people know where they moved to. They got pretty into debt from having to move around so much. I see a lot of myself in him. We were his age once."

"At his age, your entire family had been murdered, younger in fact. I hate to be this way, but I don't feel like any of the stuff that happened to you, or to Sam are even in the ballpark of the stuff that has happened to Stevie."

"Is that your way of saying he needs to just get over it - his beef with his brother?"

"It's my way of saying exactly what I said."

"Well, I'm saying this. Stevie has a lot of anger in him. I think that he feels like a lot of people failed him and I think that he consistently thinks that a lot of people fail him. He's so angry that honestly, it might consume him. Whatever he did or didn't go through, the anger is there and it is very dangerous. And now, he doesn't have the same place to find rest anymore, he may need intervention."

"Intervention? For his anger?" She asked.

"And intervention isn't just for drugs or addiction. It is anything that someone needs to take a pause and consider everything that's going on," Matt told her,

"Interesting."

"I too, think that he should just get over his beef with his brother. But, I've said it once already and it's not something that I think I care enough about to fight for."

"Well, I had somebody bring me over to you to tell you that whenever you have a chance, I want my people to get in touch with yours and to have you on my show," she told him.

"That sounds great. Definitely, give them my business number. I'm in the process of trying to figure out how the hell I'll cover Andrea's workload, but after all of that, I will let you know something."

Mercedes came closer, "Let me ask you something, when people speak about being 'woke,' what is that, exactly?"

"Well, I think that mostly, people are generally referring to a level of awareness that they may not have had previously. Here's the thing about society… Everything we can claim to be is a social construct, you feel me?" She nodded, but seemed confused. "Say like race, sexual orientation, gender, etc… All of that is socially constructed. Is their biology involved? Yes, but the biology doesn't create any type of genetic differences. Still following?"

"No."

"You're born with proclivity to be anything. But, when you make it into the world, they first assign a gender to your genitalia. Like, when you were pregnant and you didn't want to find out quote what you were having, but then when your baby was born, the doctor called him your son. We call him your son. We just label him as your son, because of whatever he was born with, but the number of transgender people who are now openly speaking of their identities, we now know that even though we get those tags at birth, that's not who we are, that's who society sees. Everything about you, skin color, body types - are all outlined to a specified list of rules and restrictions. Being woke is realizing that you didn't agree to those restrictions and refusing to let society program you to accept all of it's constructs."

"I thought it was like about being aware of problems and addressing them."

"I mean, that's a portion, but I think at the heart of it, it's a rejection of social norms, because trust me, every social construct was erected for the purposes of oppression. There is no scientific reason that a gay person and a straight person shouldn't have the same rights to life. There is no biological reason why a black person and a white person should be treated any differently. All of these tiers of oppression are there to keep people enslaved, oppressed and asleep. Because when you sleep through something, you're harmless, you're vulnerable. When you wake up and see the danger, you equip yourself."

"This is such an enlightened viewpoint."

"It's only one, of course. People view being woke in various different ways. Honestly, I hate using the word, myself. I think that it too has become a social construct. Now, people will describe any singular knowledge of something oppressive or restrictive as being woke, so we end up with these feaux activists who are one trick ponies or non-intersectional. It is so hard to find other black men to work with on projects who aren't homophobic or transphobic or misogynistic. But, they're socially aware of racism and anti-blackness. It's just… It make me wanna holler!"

"See, I want you to come on my show and talk about this kind of thing, because even in that frame of thought, like… are there people who are activists and also ableist?"

"Definitely. Definitely. Everybody ain't able!"

Mason and Jane approached and smiled, "I believe that she's coming with us.."

Mercedes turned, "Yes, yes! They have children at my home." She gave Matt another hug farewell and went with Jane to their vehicle.

.

Sam stirred in his sleep, when Quinn began to collect Becca from his arms. "Hey!" He hissed, then came to, "Oh. Hey… What time is it?" He jumped up as she tucked her daughter into her neck and only glanced at the bizarre, obviously child inspired hairdo on his head.

"About 10 p.m. Everybody came in with me and everyone's trying to quietly locate and retrieve their kids, who seem to have exploded around various areas of your house…"

Mercedes came in whispering, "Except for Stevie and Cheri. I told them that we would hang on to theirs for the night so that Stevie could… enjoy his birthday… cake." She snickered. Sam stood up and began helping collect children to load them into vehicles.

"Teachers definitely need to make more money and the cost of daycare is probably justified. Did y'all have a good time?" he asked.

"It was wonderful. You should have come along." she said.

"I was watching the kids! _Everybody's_ kids."

"Were you, or was my oldest niece? Let us know, because she's getting paid $13 an hour for this." He laughed. Mercedes moved to give him a kiss and touched his hair, "What in the world is happening up here?"

He reached up and realized he still had about six scrunchies haphazardly put in his head, probably still had lotion on his face and lip balm too. Lip balm ended up being used for blush. "The McEvans girls gave me a makeover."

"I bet you're so purdy!" She giggled.

"I'll have you know that Beth told me that I am a 'bad b word,' and I'll have you know _that_ means yes, I'm fine and purdy."

"Well, I'll have you know that I can't even see and I can tell you that you look ridiculous right now." She laughed.

"I'll have you know that _you_ look absolutely wonderful though, and I'm trying to get some tonight, so I'ma let you win this."

"I'll have you," she couldn't even finish. She just heard him and laughed. "Let's go to bed. We don't know what type of morning kids Stevie's kids are…"

As they headed for bed, Sam commented, "Shoot, I realized tonight that I don't know what kind of kids Stevie's kids are, period. With exception of Cowboy, I honestly don't know anything about the others except for their names."

"That makes sense, because you never see them or call anybody to ask how they're doing."

"Why is that on me, though? I've tried reaching out to Stevie numerous times in the past and he wasn't interested. I'm not going to grovel, Mercedes."

"I wouldn't expect you to… I was just mentioning that with you not having a relationship with him or Cheri, you have no way of knowing their kids. I can't just log on to Facebook and see their faces with names attached, so I have to actually get some info."

"You didn't pass it on to me… ALSO… You didn't tell me _everyone's_ kids were going to be here!"

"You mean _you_ didn't tell _me_ that you didn't want everyone's kids here. You said 'the kids.' I took that as 'the kids…" They both laughed heading into their bedroom. When they got in there, Mercedes' phone buzzed and she answered, "Did somebody leave a kid?" She asked.

Jane chuckled, "Not exactly… Mason and I are going to just go ahead and bring Riri's kids with us, because you guys have church in the morning and I'm guessing no clothes that the babies can switch into?"

"Oh! Right… Yeah… Uh, are you still outside?"

"We're pulling back in right now. I just left her a message to let her know, because she'll probably check them again before she's in for the night. That way, she and Stevie get to sleep in and everything."

"That makes sense. I'll send Sam." She hung up, "Slipped my mind that we have no clothes for Stevie's kids for church in the morning, so Jane and Mason are taking them home with them."

Sam frowned, "Did Stevie tell them to do that?"

"I don't think so. It sounded more like Jane thought about it after they left so she volunteered and turned around. They already know the kids better and are used to sleepovers there and they're here to collect, so go on and send them off so we can do this getting some of which you spoke."

.

Jane started to collect children, but Mason softly told her, "You go ahead in, I'll get them." She nodded and went into the house. Mason shut the garage door and began with the youngest while she headed for their bedroom. She did not feel like twisting or wrapping her hair tonight, so she just put them in four puffs before moisturizing and throwing on a bonnet, and showered until she'd used all of the hot water and the cold water startled her. Mason smiled when she came out. "Are you okay? You were in there for a while."

"I used all of the hot water. You'll have to give it a few…"

"I figured."

She sat on the bed with one of her feet under her. "Is it bad that I sort of want to forget about her? I want to forget the whole thing. But, I know I can't, and that it's wrong for me to even feel that way. I keep thinking about how quickly everything can change. One moment, you could be just enjoying life with loved ones and then within minutes, dying slowly on the side of the street." He sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her. "I thought after that day that Terri DelMonico crashed her car into those protesters that I had seen enough grit to be able to withstand what I do everyday. But, seeing Andrea was totally way her eyes were glossed over, and blood and drool just falling into a glob on the street. I kept looking at her… hoping that it was like a movie and she was going to come to. I kept looking at her dead body, convincing myself that she couldn't possibly be dead. De'Wanda was in another car screaming her name and crying. I'm thinking… she's tripping. Because AC is fine. She's fine. She's alright. She has to be. Because if she's dead… how do I go on living and doing what we do?"

Mason pulled her to himself and rubbed her shoulder. She didn't cry. She wasn't sure if it was because she was all cried out or if she was back in the denial stage. She sometimes still called Andrea's phone to see if she would pick up. Of course, she never did. "Maybe you should take a break from all of this, for a while. You can focus on work, on the kids, on friends…"

"My friends get ran over with cars by white supremacists and beaten to death by corrupt police officers. My kids _might_ have the same future spread out for them. And my work makes me work harder than every single white counterpart in the company for less money and less credit."

"Ok. New plan. Quit your job, stay at home, deal with your PTSD, and I'll take care of everything else."

"My PTSD?"

"Jane, you saw a friend murdered in front of you. You were already experiencing triggers when you were removed from the car. This added to your trauma. I would do anything to not have to see you wounded, but you've already been wounded. Now, we just need to focus on getting you healed."

"I just…" She shook her head and furrowed her eyebrows, then rolled up in a ball in his lap.

"You're okay. You're safe, right now." He kissed her forehead several times and squeezed her tightly.

Truth be told, Mason was always very supportive of Jane becoming an activist. It gave her a sense of control over her marginalizations and made her feel confident in times where others would try to dehumanize her. After she had been assault by police at 19, she was extremely angry and wanted to do something about the conditions. She did. Her family did. They got some results, though they couldn't change the entire system. They couldn't change the world. So, that was what Jane set off to do next. Change laws, change social norms, change oppressive systems, change patriarchal values, change the institution of racism, one story at a time, one battle at a time, with however many comrades and allies she could find.

When she nearly was run over with a car, Mason's support did not falter, but his comfort zone certainly was shaken. He worried more than he ever had in the past. In addition to his wife being literally the most important person in his life since he declared his independence from his twin and cleaved to her, instead, she was now the mother of his children and they were young. After the event with Andrea, his comfort was in shambles. He would be lying if he said that he fully supported her going out and doing what she does, but he would also quickly remember that when this happened, she wasn't doing what she does. She was just trying to enjoy a night out with friends!

That made all of the statistics that he knew and all of the information that he had learned and even everything that he had seen all become more fleshed out and within reach of what he loved. It was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying that his wife could have just as easily been killed that day. She had been in shock momentarily and afraid to get out of the car, which she didn't _have_ to do. A different decision from Andrea, and maybe the last words Jane would have heard would have been "Boo hoo hoo." Just inches away from his anxiety stricken wife, who was being targeted by the police for the second time in life, unjustly was one of her friends, being killed in front of her. That was enough to break any reasonable person. That was enough to ruin someone's entire life. And it could still happen. She could still be targeted. Their children could be targeted.

He disunited from his parents a couple of years before for supporting the epitome of all evil going into the presidency and while that had made it a little bit difficult between his twin and himself, he didn't regret separating them from his surely affected by such poisonous decisions family. Now, it was her turn to possibly have to turn away from something that was very important to her, that helped her to grow and built her as a human being. "Jane, do you think that you need this break?" he asked softly.

"I'm… a revolutionary, Mason. I can't take a break."

"You're a human, Jane. We all need them, sometimes." She looked into his face and saw how worried and scared his eyes were.

She gave him a soft smile and agreed, "Maybe I should at least consider a leave of absence from work. Riri's done filming. Maybe, I'll have some company while I try out the stay at home and deal with my PTSD…" He couldn't help how relieved he was to hear her at least think about it. She climbed off of him and into bed. "The water should be plenty hot, now. I might be sleep when you get back." He got up, kissed her on the temple, then on the cheek, then she turned to meet his lips. "Thank you, Mason. Sometimes, this life really gets to be more than in the less than department. You always make it just right."


	4. The Romping

**The Romping**

 _Mason and Jane * If I Ain't Got You, Alicia Keys*_

 _Some people live for the fortune_

 _Some people live just for the fame_

 _Some people live for the power, yeah_

 _Some people live just to play the game_

 _Some people think that the physical things define what's within_

 _And I've been there before, and that life's a bore_

 _So full of the superficial_

Mason came out of the shower, and slid into his house slippers before making rounds to the sleeping children. He made sure that all of the nightlights were on, in case they awoke confused that they were back here when they fell asleep elsewhere. He placed kisses on each one of them, his own children and Riri's.

When he got back to the bedroom, Jane's music was on and she had a candle lit. He climbed into bed and went to check on her, to see if she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. She jumped up the moment he neared her and he jumped back, apologetically. She put her hand on her chest. "I was just starting to doze off, but I think that was a jolt of adrenaline." He stuck out his lip and turned on the lamp. She was now sitting up, against the headboard.

"Need a massage?" He asked.

"No… You've been taking care of me all night. I need to go to sleep so that you can get some rest." He just smiled with his lips and reached for her foot. "Mace…" She started, but he noticed that she slid her foot closer to him. He smiled with teeth showing now and winked at her before kissing her foot, then smothering it in soft kisses and nibbles, making her simultaneously try to stiffen her body while it was turning into mush.

 _Some people want it all_

 _But I don't want nothing at all_

 _If it ain't you baby_

 _If I ain't got you baby_

 _Some people want diamond rings_

 _Some just want everything_

 _But everything means nothing_

 _If I ain't got you, yeah_

Mason's kisses and nibbles alternated feet, slid up her legs, alternating those as well. She was squirming, but once again moving closer to him. She looked at his face. His eyes periodically checked on her, to see what effect he had on her, usually with a smile, even when his tongue was drawing on her thighs. She put her fingertips under his chin and commanded him to her with her other hand. He kissed a trail up her belly, over her nightie until he found his way to her lips and she put her finger on his forehead to pause him from kissing her so that she could lick his lips. Two could play that teasing game.

 _Some people search for a fountain_

 _That promises forever young_

 _Some people need three dozen roses_

 _And that's the only way to prove you love them_

 _Hand me the world on a silver platter_

 _And what good would it be_

 _With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me_

When she finally let him kiss her, he didn't even go for her lips. He kissed her chin, her jawline, her ear, her neck and Jane was done with his Masonly tricks. She slid her panties to the side and slid him right into her, then pushed herself towards him to control the stroke. He let out a growl and pulled back, only to sit up and reposition her leg to where he could suck her toes. Jane let out a tiny whimpering that made him chuckle against her feet, but not lose the groove of his hips.

 _Some people want it all_

 _But I don't want nothing at all_

 _If it ain't you baby_

 _If I ain't got you baby_

 _Some people want diamond rings_

 _Some just want everything_

 _But everything means nothing_

 _If I ain't got you_

She threw her head back and began to grind against him as his free hand found and captured a full portion of her breast. Her own hands were split between the other breast and in motion against her clit. Whenever she began to convulse and her hands flailed, Mason assumed the mantle of stimulating her spot with his breast squeezing hand's thumb. The other kept her leg over his shoulder. He could feel her shaking with the shattering of her orgasm through her entire body. She fell limp and breathless and he released her and snuggled closely to her, still inside of her and kissed her on the lips, now as they both finished and came down together, kissing and caressing.

 _Some people want it all_

 _But I don't want nothing at all_

 _If it ain't you baby_

 _If I ain't got you baby_

 _Some people want diamond rings_

 _Some just want everything_

 _But everything means nothing_

 _If I ain't got you, yeah_

 _If I ain't got you with me baby_

 _So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing_

 _If I ain't got you with me baby_

Mason went back to pelting the side of her face with gentle kisses, rolled over and pulled her onto his chest. She listened to his heartbeat and strummed his chest until she fell asleep softly nestled on it.

 _._

 _Stevie and Cheri *Enjoy the Silence, Denmark + Winter (Depeche Mode Cover)*_

Cheri had not had any drinks, which was surprising to Stevie, as she generally seemed to have a drink in her social media photos and whenever she turned 21, she drank pretty heavily for a while. Maybe she had to cut down with him not being in the house anymore. When she came out of their bathroom, she jumped at the sight of him and covered her heart.

"Sorry. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to go ahead and go or not. I'll go. Sorry…" He headed for the bedroom door, then stopped and turned around, "I never thought that you didn't care, and I surely don't think that you're weak. I know that you've gone through a lot, because of me, because I put you in these people's path. You got every right not to be active and I would never resent you for it or hold it against you.."

 _Words like violence_

 _Break the silence_

 _Come crashing in_

 _Into my little world_

 _Painful to me_

 _Pierce right through me_

 _Can't you understand?_

 _Oh, my little girl_

She sighed, but didn't respond. It was refreshing to hear. He so often seemed angry with her lately, no matter how many times Mason assured her that he was mad at himself for 'fucking up things' with her and no matter how many times Mason said that it was a direct quote from him. He offered a smile. His smiles were all so sad, now. She stepped forward and asked, "You want to see some videos of the kids that I didn't get around to sending you?"

"Of course." They sat and she pulled out her phone to start showing him a video. It was Sheva and Charmaine singing Chloe X Halle songs. He smiled, a more real smile, now, with tears in his eyes. "They're so talented. They must get that from you."

"I can't sing worth a lick, so that's incorrect. You're the one with the voice," she said and reflexively strummed his hair. He leaned into her hand like a needy pet and shut his eyes. When he opened them, her face was close to his. "I'm sorry," she whispered, and kissed him. Stevie's hands went to her sides and he collected her to deepen the kiss.

 _All I ever wanted_

 _All I ever needed_

 _Is here in my arms_

 _Words are very_

 _Unnecessary_

 _They can only do harm_

Cheri dropped the phone to the floor and climbed into Stevie's lap, pushing him down onto her bed as she did. "Are you sure that you want this?" He asked, tentative to let himself fully lie down. "You said that this shouldn't happen while we're…" He could never bring himself to use the word "separated," or any other similar words. He always just left the subject open when it came up. She just 'shhhhhed' him and rocked against his hardness.

"Just don't touch my hair," she said. That was an odd request, but he wasn't going to question it. Instead, he just nodded and laid back, allowing her to control him, whatever she wanted to do he was going to participate.

 _Vows are spoken_

 _To be broken_

 _Feelings are intense_

 _Words are trivial_

There was a hard knock on the door and she jumped and hopped off of him quickly to check the door. Stevie sat up, and rubbed his temples with his fingertips. It was Jake. "Hey, I just passed through to check and see if you needed anything before I went to bed?" He peeked inside the room and added, "But, it looks like you're covered, here." He moved close to her and whispered, hoping that Stevie couldn't hear him, "Please don't hurt him. He can't handle whatever you've got him here for…" Stevie did hear him.

"Jake, can you please mind your fucking business and leave? Thanks."

Cheri's eyebrows danced around on her face in worry and she nodded her head at Jake, "He's right." She turned to Stevie, who was staring at her, wide eyed. "Maybe… You should go, before you regret staying…"

Stevie stood up, walked over, reached around her to shut the door in Jake's face and wrapped the arm around her to pull her in. "You should already know that I don't care about anything right now but you. I'll leave if that's what you really want, but… I don't think it is."

She was trembling in his cuff. "It's not what I want. But, I don't want to be selfish and I don't want to hurt you."

 _Pleasures remain_

 _So does the pain_

 _Words are meaningless_

 _And forgettable_

"Let me worry about my own hurt," he said and leaned closer to her face, to see if she would meet his kiss. She melted against his body as she did meet it.

"I'm sore," she whispered. "Can you be gentle?"

He nodded his head like he was agreeing to the most solemn and sacred mission of his life. She guided him back to the bed and removed his shirt, then unfastened his pants. Stevie's skin was on fire, but his heart was in distress. Jake was right. He knew that Jake was right. But when she slid out of her dress and coyly took his hand to move chest to chest with him… It just didn't matter.

 _All I ever wanted_

 _All I ever needed_

 _Is here in my arms_

 _Words are very_

 _Unnecessary_

 _They can only do harm_

He returned to the position that he was in before they were interrupted, beneath her and at her mercy. Cheri crawled onto his face and slowly lowered herself over him, sore, as she had already said, but he quickly forgot when he grabbed her and hungrily pulled her body to his mouth. Her legs were weak and she felt her knees shaking, about to fall and she gasped thinking she was about to crash onto his face, but when they gave out, he still had her collected by his arms. She sighed, relieved that she hadn't coochie punched him in the nose, but his nose was in it, and lips, and tongue and she had to have coated his beard…

She moved to straddle him, but faced the same direction he was, so she wouldn't have to look at him and feel guilty. When she lowered herself onto him, Stevie noticed bruises on her back and he sat up, pulled her flush against him and kissed them. "Am I hurting you, Baby?"

"No. It feels so good. You feel perfect…" She laid her head back against him and continued to ride him with his arms wrapped around her gingerly and what she knew were his tears, falling onto her shoulder. She turned suddenly and looked at him, sadly. "Stevie…"

"Shhhh. I'm okay. Just, don't stop, please." He held her tighter and pressed his forehead to the side of her face. "I'm fine; I've just really missed you…" Now she was crying and he wiped her tears off with his thumbs, but neither of them stopped.

 _All I ever wanted_

 _All I ever needed_

 _Is here in my arms_

 _Words are very_

 _Unnecessary_

 _They can only do harm_

.

 _Sam and Mercedes *By Your Side, Sade*_

Mercedes went to change out of her party clothes, but Sam came into the bathroom while she was mid undressing and came up behind her, hands creeping up the splits in her green and yellow dress. "Hey…" She said, turning her head vaguely in his direction. "One question, you still have your hair in shambles?"

He scoffed as he quickly pulled out the loose scrunchies and tossed them into the sink, tousled his hair with both hands and told her, "No." She laughed the whole time. Sam looked at her face, then at them in the mirror. "You are so magical."

"Why do you say that?" She asked, still with her face turned towards him, even though he was behind her, tracing her curves with his fingertips, watching her form in the mirror.

"Because you have put up with me now for about 8 years… and in that time, you've gotten sweeter, more determined, independent, beautiful… And you were already so much of all of that when I met you. Plus, I know that you didn't get the best deal out of this." She turned all the way around and cupped his face with her hands, tracing his features and then just strumming his cheeks.

 _You think I'd leave your side, baby_

 _You know me better than that_

 _Think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees_

 _I wouldn't do that..._

"Where is this coming from?" She asked him, softly.

"I don't always make the best decisions. People depend on me to lead them and I could just lead them right off of a cliff. I never would want that to be you. That's why I'm so careful. That's why it matters so much to me to go the right way, because I know that you're literally blindly following me."

"Why do you think that is, Sam Evans?" She asked, strumming her hands down his chest. He didn't respond, "It's because I observed you long enough and hard enough to determine that you were _worth_ following. It's because I trust you to lead me anywhere. If it was off of a cliff, I would know that either the bottom of it can catch us or whatever is pushing us to the edge is more dangerous and our best chances are over the cliff. I trust you with everything I have in me, not because I'm blind and can't see who you are. Because _even though_ I'm blind, I know you and I can see you better than anyone who's ever had the opportunity to look into your eyes." She lifted his shirt and put her hand over his heart, "I follow this, because it is the strongest and most beautiful in this world."

 _I'll tell you you're right when you're wrong_

 _And if only you could see into me_

 _Oh, when you're cold_

 _I'll be there, hold you tight to me_

 _When you're on my outside, baby, and you can't get in_

 _I will show you, you're so much better than you know_

Sam smiled, honestly flattered and honored. God, she was perfect. Forever the best thing to ever happen to him. He lifted her up onto the bathroom counter, "You are so invaluable." He kissed her. Mercedes smiled into the kiss and spread her legs to give him better access and pull him closer to her lips and to her heart, among other things.

 _When you're lost_

 _You're alone and you can't get back again_

 _I'll find you, darling, and I'll bring you home_

 _And if you want to cry_

 _I am here to dry your eyes_

 _And in no time, you'll be fine_

He devoured her lips as he moved his hands up her dress to find her panties and get them out of his way. He accidentally ripped them in the process and she squealed, "Sam!" He laughed and let them hang around the one thigh that they were still wrapped around. He put both hands beneath her and hoisted her up to carry her back to the bed.

 _You think I'd leave your side, baby_

 _You know me better than that_

 _Think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees_

 _I wouldn't do that_

 _I'll tell you you're right when you're wrong_

 _And if only you could see into me_

Mercedes squirmed halfway out of her dress, but could only get it off of her shoulders and beneath her breasts before Sam's mouth was ravaging them and the dress was trapped on her body. She hardly cared that she was half dressed, panties ripped on one side and dress hiked up in a bunch at her belly, which he passed over to put his face in between her spread thighs. "Ohhhh, Sam…" He smiled against her wet lips and continued to relish the woman of his dreams. The woman of his life. The woman of his heart.

She grabbed his hair and began to pull him up. He knew that pull. She was tired of tongue. She was ready for Mr. Amazing, the D section. He had been prepping it for that beckoning and now moved back up to plunge into his sanctuary.

 _Oh, when you're cold_

 _I'll be there, hold you tight to me_

 _Oh, when you're low_

 _I'll be there by your side, baby_

Sam pulled both of her thighs around his hips and rolled his body, long stroking for that 'stirring the mac & cheese" sound that made both of them crazy. "Oh God!" She sang out in breathy pants. Yes, God was in these details. She pulled him down to her and squeezed him in her arms and her legs as he sped up his progress and her hands stroked the hair at the nape of his neck. Now, he was calling out to God, slapping against her flesh eagerly and also very content to do this all night, if that was what it took. This was his favorite way to worship and when she hit her nirvana falsetto he finally let go himself and exploded inside of her, kissing her lips through two layers of their sweat.

.

Mason was the first one up in the morning, stretches and exercising, washing up, starting breakfast, prepping kiddie clothes, and then the funnest part… actually getting the kids up to start their day. He actually had an entire method to this madness, because of course he was Best Daddy in the World and Best Godfather in the World, because he had trophies from the kids saying so. Mason went into Mason II's room and gently woke his son up, "Good morning. Last night, we had to bring Riri's kids over. So, as the secondary man of the house, I am once again asking your help in hosting them this morning."

"I've got your back, Dad," Mason II said and sat up, looking at Sherwood and Sterling in his bed. Cowboy was most likely on the couch, because he was bigger. He woke the boys up and said, "Okay, so let's get up and get dressed and stuff. I'll help you out, Sterling…"

Then, he went and did the exact same thing with Major I. By the time they all wandered into the kitchen for breakfast, all he had to do was put them in their seats and start doing hair at the table while they ate.

Jane came in a little later and poured herself some tea while Mason was on his fourth head. All of these kids had a lot of hair and most of their hair types were not exactly the same. Jane quickly jumped in to help him out with their heads. "Did Cheri ever make it over?" she asked.

"No. I'm guessing that she ended up spending the night at her house," Mason said and smiled.

Sheva wondered, "Are we taking photos today?"

"We can, my dear," Mason answered. "Do you want to?"

"Yes," Because you made my hair look pretty.

Sherwood commented, "You can't even see it!"

"I know it's pretty because Uncle Mason did it," she said and rolled her eyes.

.

Cheri woke up when her phone buzzed, reached onto her head to feel her hair, jumped up and rushed into the bathroom. Stevie jumped up when she suddenly rushed out and got up. He knocked on the door. "Hey… You okay?"

"Yeah," she said. He tried the door, but she had locked it. She wondered if he was going to keep at it, but he left it. She came out, eventually, wrapped up in a towel with her hair fully done and makeup on. He squinted his eyes curiously at that. "I decided to just get cleaned up," she said. She looked like she was trying to keep herself covered as she tried to get dressed.

"Why are you acting so weird? I'm not going to give you a hard time for what happened last night. I understand. It was a moment of weakness. I wasn't trying to.. Get you back…"

She turned to look at him, "No, why would you ever try to do that when you have so many crucial things going on in your life?"

"What's on your chest?" He asked, standing up and coming over. She turned around and dug for clothes. Stevie gently turned her around and asked, "Did I put all of these bruises on you? I don't understand how? Did something happen?"

"I've got a blood thing going on.." She said, not making eye contact with him.

"What kind of blood thing?" He asked.

"The kind where I get bruised easily." She went into the bathroom with her clothes to change into and Stevie sighed and fell back onto the bed. Jake was right. Of course. He was always right.

Stevie grabbed his jeans, his phone, wallet, keys and went back to the bathroom door, "I'll pick up the kids," he said and left.

On the other side of the door, she was trying to put makeup on some of the bruises that might show through her clothes, or outside of their reach, then she tried to find something that was going to cover her up.

She came out of her room to find Jake in the kitchen, looking salty. "He _wanted to,_ Jake!" She said.

"It's none of my business. He made that clear," he said, and set his phone down. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"A lot of bruises," she told him.

"Can I do anything?"

"Keep it locked up," she said and he sighed and nodded. "Thank you." She sat down and looked around. "Maybe some breakfast, if you aren't too tired." He laughed and got up to see what was in there that could pass for breakfast.

.

Mercedes had a similar process of getting the children dressed as she had for herself - the clothes were arranged with things that matched together, the paper around the hangers had gems to represent colors and styles and she almost always dressed all three of them by herself on Sunday morning, while Sam prayed, got ready for the church service and looked over his sermon notes again. The children happened to be particularly cranky today, probably because they had not properly went to bed the previous night, or maybe because they went to sleep during a party and just woke up in their same beds without all of their cousins and friends. At any rate, Heaven was trying to help Mercedes, but Bliss and Blessing were not in the spirit of cooperation this morning.

She heard the doorbell and wondered who that was, but was too tied up with wrestling with the twins to get it herself. Fortunately, she heard Sam announce, "Got it, Babydoll!" Sam whistled on his way to the door and saw Stevie's outline in the glass panel. He opened the door and looked confused, but pleasantly surprised, "Stevie! Did you decide to come to church this morning?"

Stevie looked at him like he was disgusted and shook his head, "I have children here, do I not?"

Sam's lip dropped. "Umm… Miscommunication. Jane said that she'd tell y'all that her and Mason were taking them so that you could sleep in and we could make it to church."

Stevie threw both hands over his face and shook his head, "She must've told Cheri."

"I think she said she left her a voicemail." Stevie nodded, uncovering his face. "She thought Cheri was probably gonna check it last night before bed or something, but I guess y'all partied a little hard." Stevie looked awful, miserable even. "Sorry that you missed out on sleeping in…" Stevie started crying and nodded his head. Now, Sam stepped outside and reflexively reached for him, "Stevie," he said, trying to pull him close. Stevie resisted, but Sam pulled him until he let him hug him. "What's going on?"

Stevie shook his head and wiped his face, "We're not together." Sam backed up to get a look at his face, sure that he had misheard or misunderstood something, until Stevie said, "That's the first time in a year that I actually said that."

Sam pointed a thumb at the house, "Let's go into my office, okay?"

"No. I'm going home… well… her house. I actually live in my RV, and sometimes with Matt, Jake or Mason. I slept with her last night and I shouldn't have, because cutting off from her again today was like… chopping a part of myself off… Again…"

Sam squinted, "So, you and Cheri haven't lived together in a year?" He had to confirm that Stevie wasn't rambling off of his meds or something. He also felt especially shitty about what he had said to him Friday. "Have you been able to see the kids?"

"Yeah. Of course. She's been really kind and amicable. She wouldn't keep me from them unless it was to protect them. They spent most of her filming with me. But, after Andrea died, I was back and forth a lot…"

"What happened?" Sam asked. "Why did you two separate?"

"That's a long story," Stevie told him. "And, I didn't mean to say any of that. We're not telling people… well… Jake, Mason and Matt know. But, we're not making any announcements until...there are papers and lawyers. But, I feel like after this morning, that is probably sure to happen soon."

"Why can't y'all work on it?" Sam asked, genuinely concerned.

"Because, _I'm_ the problem. And my best work on me has already been done."

"We can always get better, Stevie."

"Is that why you stopped growing as a person?" Stevie asked. Sam sighed. "That wasn't fair. You're being uncharacteristically caring towards me and I should just leave, while that's a thing."

"Stevie."

"I'll probably see you later on tonight, or whatever." Stevie got into his truck and pulled away.

Mercedes was coming to the door with the twins, looking extremely flustered, "Hi," she said to whoever was at the door, then to Sam, "I need help with these today. Something has them in a tizzy." Sam watched Stevie had down the road and she asked, "Who was that?"

"Stevie. He didn't get the memo," he said, still watching the route that Stevie had left on.

"Awww, Man. Hopefully he at least got birthday laid last night. But, twins, help, please?"

"Yes, of course." He gathered Blessing and tossed her into the air, "You giving Mommy a hard time? Not you! Not Daddy's angel!"

.

Stevie went back to the house to wash up. Jake was the only one there, and looked at him suspiciously when he came out of the shower. "What?"

Jake shrugged his shoulders, "Couldn't help but to hear you two last night."

"Don't start with me, please?"

"It's not good for you, for either of you to keep doing this to yourselves or to each other. You either need to break up and mean it or get back together and mean it."

"That was the first time in a long time… You know what? That's my wife. I don't have to justify myself to you."

"I'm friends with you both. We're family. I hate seeing you torturing each other. Stevie, you can be so stubborn sometimes… and she can be so volatile. And both of you expect me to be able to not tell the other one things and honestly, I'm tired of being in the middle of what sure as shit is a hot damn mess. Between you two having me in the middle of this and you and Sam having Stacie in the middle of you… Stevie… You GOTTA do something different."

"Because I am a burden to everybody."

"No. You just… Aren't caring properly for yourself and all of us who love you can't help but to step up. But, then you don't let us care for you either."

"I'm a machine without Cheri. I made the wrong choice. I shouldn't have presumed that she was just upset. I should have just told her that I choose her. I fucked up my life so deeply when I let this happen. Nothing that I do even matters right now. So, just… stop trying to care for me. Because, you're right. I don't care. At least doing what I do I can leave some type of meaningful mark on the world."

Jake sighed, "Well, I won't be here anyway. Bree and I are getting ready to get an Uber to the airport."

"I could bring you."

"We're good. Get some rest." Jake hugged him. Stevie went back into the bedroom and Cheri's discarded dress was on the floor. He immediately got flashbacks when he saw it, and when he looked at their bed, he had waves and waves of flashes.

.

Sam and Joe shook the hands of people in the congregation with Mercedes and Stacie standing next to them. Cheri had picked the kids up from Mason and Jane's and brought them along for the later service. She hadn't been to Sam's church in a while, and she was sort of feeling like she needed a connection with something. Now, as they departed, her children were running around with their cousins and she went to go see Mercedes and Stacie. "Hey, Sisters!" They both hugged her at the same time while Sam watched curiously. The First and Second Ladies took her over to a pew and they sat down to chat until the church cleared out. Mercedes came over to Sam, "Hey… Cheri's not feeling well. I told her that we could take the kids. We did mention wanting them to spend more time with us."

"Sounds good. What about Stevie? Can't he watch them?"  
"Uh, he gets to watch them all of the time, _we_ do not," she said.

"Sounds great. Cool." She smiled brightly and clapped her hands.


	5. The Rumble

**The Rumble**

Cheri was startled when she saw Stevie, lying down in her bed, asleep. She went into the closet to grab a blanket and made her way to the couch. She had done entirely too much over the past few days between the last few interviews with Hunter and Ryder, the long drive home, planning the party, wrestling with the kids, pretending that she didn't want to beg Stevie to forgive her for being so harsh before, trying to forgive herself for this distance between them, the secrets, the lies, the illness, what happened last night… She was asleep before she could even unpack everything that she was thinking and feeling.

Stevie woke up in the bed alone and quickly got up, hoping that he hadn't overstepped any boundaries by being there. He looked at his phone for the time and had several missed calls, none of them from Cheri. He cleared it off and determined he could catch up later with whoever. He hadn't spent nearly enough time with the children this weekend. He found her in a ball on the couch in a blanket and gathered her up to bring her to her bed. She must have honestly not wanted to be around him, because she hated sleeping on couches. It reminded her of when she didn't have a place of her own to go - when she was apart from him, pregnant and alone… She never even fell asleep on the couch that they bought for this house, this couch. She had specifically told him how much she hated sleeping on couches while sitting on this couch.

.

Sam was exhausted. Mercedes obviously had more energy when it came to crawling around, rolling around, running around and all the other arounds that one has to do when entertaining 8 children and 5 dogs. The weather wasn't terrible, though it was cold outside, so Sam had loaded the outdoor fireplace and encouraged the kids to stay nearby in the backyard patio. Mercedes tired them out with all the activity, then Sam chilled and talked with them. It was extremely enlightening.

In just one afternoon, Sam learned that his nieces wanted to be a singing duo and that their mother was arranging for them to go to a studio and record an EP. He learned that Sherwood was extremely sarcastic for a four year old, but most likely got that from Stevie, because even the way that he delivers many of his retorts was in the vein of Stevie's cadence. Cowboy loved surfing, now and really wanted to go back to California because Ohio is too cold, even though his friends and family live in Ohio. He learned that Sterling absolutely would not talk if all eyes were on him, even when it was his own siblings, but according to Charmaine, he talks a lot to her and to Daddy.

Sam started telling them stories, trying to think of ones that his own children hadn't heard before, so they wouldn't get bored or feel like he was focused on the guests more. Looking at Stevie's kids and his kids… honestly, you could tell these children were all related. Even the ones that looked more like Cheri and with Heaven looking more like Mercedes, these were all Evans kids. He was going to have to do better about being around them. "Daddy!" Cowboy cheered and rushed towards Stevie, who was walking into the backyard. Sam stood up from the cushioned seat to go meet him.

"Hey. I came to grab them. Gonna take them home," Stevie said.

Mercedes scoffed, "Um, Sir. You could have called first and let us know we were about to lose our company…"

Cowboy interrupted, "Daddy, we've been playing with dogs all day, so are we going to come to the RV instead of the house?"

Stevie told him, "We'll just get you cleaned up quickly, okay?"

Mercedes gasped and offered, "I'm so sorry. I forgot that Cheri was allergic. That was the reason we ended up with your dogs…" She dusted herself off and said, "Well, Cheri sent a change of clothes with them. They can wash up here and that way, you won't even bring it into the truck with you, so you won't have to clean that out for when Cheri's gotta ride in there."

Stevie shrugged his shoulders, "Sounds like a plan." They collected the kids, left the dogs in their room, and went inside to wash them all up. "Your hair looks great today. Did Uncle Mason do it?" Stevie asked Sheva. She nodded her head. 'Mommy showed me your singing video. Your voice is so good that we don't even know how you managed to get it."

"God," Sheva said. "It's a gift."

Stevie nodded his head, "It certainly is." He kissed her on the forehead.

"Are we coming with you for now, or going back to Mommy?" she asked.

Mercedes turned her head slightly towards them, so Stevie knew that she had heard the question.

"We're all gonna be at the Ohio house, for right now. Daddy doesn't have any social justice work to do right now," he said, hoping that would satisfy her.

"Good. I'm more scared when we're not with you, I wish you never had social justice work."

"I wish I didn't have to, but you know that I do."

"Because everybody deserves rights and justice… But, why does only _my_ daddy have to always fight for it?" She walked away before he could answer. Mercedes faced Stevie and he avoided her to leave the bathroom, now that all of the children were done. She followed.

"Stevie, is everything okay at home?"

"Why? What'dya hear?" he asked, jokingly. She just smiled. If he avoided the question, she knew the answer. She didn't feel right moving forward with it.

.

Cheri woke up to the smell of food cooking and the sound of children talking loudly. Her eyes opened abruptly and she jumped up, checking her hair, again. She sighed, then climbed out of bed, took some medicine and went to investigate the activity in her house. Whenever she reached the kitchen, Stevie was cooking, the boys were at the island, keeping him company and talking. The girls were in the living room, watching shows on TV.

"That smells good," she said. For a moment, she saw Stevie tense up, like he used to do when they were young and he didn't want her to know that he liked her. He turned to look at her and offered a small smile.

"Cowboy says that you won't eat it, but he's happy to."

She moved in closer. Her eating habits had changed a lot. She smiled and patted him on the shoulder, "Cowboy is a smart kid. I can't have it. I have to keep my body right."

"It's one night. Don't y'all get cheat days."

"You can't cheat on your health!" Cowboy said from the island.

Stevie flinched and quietly asked, "Is this the blood thing? Because I tried to Google with the information that I had and that was a terrible idea. Better you just tell me and ease my mind…"

She laughed, "Yeah. Because knowing stuff eases your mind." She went into the fridge and grabbed one of the dozens of small bottles of ginger ale she had stored in there. "There's no need for you to worry. I've got a handle on my health. I have been being extremely careful about it."

"That's so weird because Stace was just saying the other day that you seemed to be behaving recklessly." He watched her for tells.

She opened her bottle and her eyes showed a sign of either annoyance or agitation, probably at Stacie. "She's just bugging because I have S-E-X scenes in the show. You know how she is about that." Stevie turned red and he nodded. He'd seen those and 'it's just acting' didn't really make him feel better, especially when websites shipped real life people, such as her and Hunter Clarington, her TV love interest, whom he just happened to be far more cozy with than Stevie was comfortable with.

"Good bit of acting that is," he said and went to the pantry. "So, what should I prepare for you?"

"I was going to have some quinoa and steamed veggies. I usually make sure to eat every few hours, but I've definitely not been keeping up with that the past few days."

"I don't think that I have _ever_ prepared quinoa…"

"I can do it. I have gotten used to doing things for myself." She smiled, but there was some bitterness in her tone.

.

 _About a year ago, almost exactly, Jake and Mason took Stevie out for his birthday. Cheri was at home with the children. Stevie hadn't even wanted to go out. She insisted. "It'll be good for you to spend some time with your real friends," she told him. Because the time that he spent with Matt, Aphasia and Andrea wasn't time with friends, in her opinion. She called it "battle planning," and while she didn't approve; she usually didn't try to dissuade him. But, that night, she assured him that he was too stressed out, too cranky, and too heavy laden. He needed a night off and a night out. "Avoid getting into fights," she'd told him._

 _So, AT HER INSISTENCE, he went out to have fun with his closest friends. They had a pretty good night. He was feeling great and he was relaxed. They were minding their own business, heading out for Mason and Jake to dance and Stevie to drink enough to possibly join them when they crossed paths with a group of guys that recognized him and didn't care too much for him._

 _They kept spouting the usual barrage of pet names - N word lover, race traitor, etc. Mason locked arms with Stevie and suggested, "They're St. Patty's drunk and likely idiots even when they're not. My jobs tonight are designated driver and mediator." One of them shoved Jake from behind and Jake turned to defend himself, but the guy pulled a knife. Jake backed away, lifted his hands and took a deep breath. Fighting a drunk racist with a knife was a bad idea and he didn't feel like possibly dying because he had to defend his honor against somebody he didn't care about._

 _Stevie wasn't as concerned with the logic of it. He tackled the knife holder and the knife went flying into the street. Mason pointed out, "You disarmed him. Let's go.." Stevie got up and went to fetch the knife, so one of them wouldn't. They were getting ready to go. The drunks were helping up their butthurt friend, and Jake sighed with relief at the fact that Stevie seemed to be letting it go. He was surprised and about to tell him that he was proud of then, one of those guys spoke. "You're really tough with your friends around, but I'd like to see you shield that pretty brown wife of yours and all those niglets at the same time…"_

" _Oh shit," Jake and Mason both said and tried to grab Stevie before he went back. That motherfucker was fast and they had just used special triggers - his family., Jake rushed after him with Mason not far behind, to try to stop him… In hindsight, it probably looked like a rush job and it immediately turned into a brawl. By the time the police came around and most of them began running, Jake and Mason pulled Stevie and told him to run as well. It took him a moment to stop kicking the guy and by the time the flashing lights were pulling up and he_ did _run, they were to close._

 _They caught up with him, searched him, found the knife, his identity and between the squad car and lockup, he ended up more busted up than he had gotten in the street fight. Mason and Jake had gotten back to the car and went to where he was being "arrested." Mason honked his horn loudly at the officers, hoping to stop them from attacking him. They put him in the car and waved Mason off, but he followed them to the station, worried that he might not even make it there. Stevie was in bad shape, and they got out to complain to the police, Mason letting them know that he was contacting Stevie's lawyer and Jake filming, announcing, "My brother was picked up after a street fight. He was barely hit in the fight. His face is now bloody, and they're taking him in…" He was reading badge numbers and reporting everything that he saw, until the police threatened to arrest them too and Mason pulled him away to regroup._

 _While they were trying to keep eyes on Stevie, get legal assistance, let Matt know that they might need his resources and reach… both of them dropped the ball on Cheri._

 _At first, Jake said that they should call her and let her know what was going on, but then they determined that she might freak out or something, so they didn't want to bother her until they had better news. Mason said that they should at least tell her that he was alright and everything was under control, but then they didn't know if it would be okay and felt like she might have an even harder time if they told her that he was alright, then he died in police custody or something. "Let's just wait until we know something," they both said._

 _Cheri got up at 3 am and wondered where the hell Stevie was. Maybe he was really enjoying himself, but it wasn't like him to not let her know something, because he knew that she would worry if he didn't. She called him, instead and he never answered. Then, she called Jake. Unbeknownst to her, Jake was using his phone to record status updates on Stevie's situation and condition. When the call was coming through, he ignored it as they were trying to keep tabs on Stevie. She called Mason, whose phone had been smashed by an angry officer when he refused to put it away._

 _Stevie was inside, unable to call out and get to someone. But, one of the officers there was a member of Sam's church. He recognized hm and called the Pastor to tell him that his brother was in custody and looked pretty bad. Sam rushed down to the station around 3:30 am, and the officer let him speak with Stevie._

" _Are they getting you medical attention?" Sam asked._

" _Probably not. They caused the damage. I certainly didn't get my ass handed to me like this before I got cuffed." He winced and asked, "Have you talked to Cheri?"_

" _No, I figured that she'd be asleep."_

" _Not with me not calling her. Could you, please?"_

" _Yeah. I saw Mason outside. He said that he talked to Matt and they've got a lawyer coming to see about you… What… What were you thinking, Stevie? You get in a street fight and you're armed with a knife?"_

" _Wasn't mine," Stevie said. Sam just gave him a look. "In all of the years of getting into fights that you know I have under my belt when the hell have you ever known me to carry a knife?"_

" _This time, I guess. It was tucked into your clothes and you attacked the officers that caught you beating a man, nearly to death!"_

" _That's their version. Just get with Mason and Jake. I'm sure somebody recorded it."_

" _Mason said that he didn't get what happened in between not being able to get you to stop beating the guy and when the cops had you handcuffed."_

" _So, he should have also told you that it wasn't my knife."_

" _Guess he had too much to say and couldn't get to that part." Sam said._

 _Stevie laughed, "You don't believe that I could be right about getting into a fight. Anyone else, you'd respect enough to listen to, to hear them out, but because it's me, you presume that I was trying to kill someone and attacked the cops when they tried to stop me?"_

" _That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that you always manage to find yourself in these situations, and I can't just presume you're a magnet."_

" _Why not? I've always been a magnet for attacks. I was a magnet just for being your brother. I attracted ghost skins who wanted an Evans on their team. I attracted girls who liked boys who were proud to be white. I attracted induction into neo-Nazi organized crime… on the flipside, black liberation groups that wanted to make sure our family didn't spill any more black blood. Activists that wanted to make sure that we didn't get any peace or rest. I was a magnet for leaving the lifestyle behind. I attracted death threats. I attracted a vendetta from Max Giardi that put my wife into an institutionalized torture chamber. I attracted press and coverage for escaping…"_

" _Stevie…"_

" _I decided that I owed a debt to marginalized communities. I became a magnet for being a mouthpiece for equality for oppressed people. I have been arrested, attacked, assaulted and yes - I have a fucking temper and yes, I kicked the absolute shit out of somebody tonight who threatened my wife and children. Just like I know that you would have done at my age and I'm not sure you'd turn the other cheek, even today, Pastor Evans."  
Sam sighed. "Henley, can we at least get my brother something to get the blood off of his face?" Stevie rolled his eyes. "Stevie, I believe you, okay? It's just troubling. One of these nights, I'm afraid and I'm sure that Cheri is too that we'll get a call saying that you didn't make it. I need you to use your head BECAUSE of the fact that you attract this kind of attention. I need you to learn to try to hold yourself accountable." _

_Stevie cackled and then he caught his breath and shook his head. "Look, I know that you're just here to lecture me and not to assist me, so if you don't mind, can you take a short break from browbeating me about how my natural human response to my family being threatened resulted in an extremely over-exaggerated takedown from the pigs and just call my wife and let her know that I'm fine and that I'm sorry?" He blew out a shaky breath and set his head on the table._

" _Stevie, are you okay?"_

" _I'm lightheaded. I think I might have a concussion…" Stevie said._

" _Henley, is somebody gonna get my brother some medical attention, or not?"_

 _Eventually, they did get him medical attention, and he was released with his lawyers in the morning, with Mason and Jake having slept at the jailhouse waiting for him. Sam had called Cheri and passed on the message. It was much later than anticipated._

 _Cheri had tried to call the three and reached noone. Her imagination was wild with accusations and scenarios. She dialed her mother's number, and the woman answered, groggy, "Mom, I need you to come watch the kids as soon as possible. I had an emergency come up and I need to go out, okay? Please?" Her mother responded right away and she paced the entire time, rushed out as soon as the woman showed up, jumped into her still fairly new vehicle and drove to where she knew everyone was supposed to be. Mason's vehicle was gone, so the fact that Stevie's was still there, despite that almost every single other vehicle was gone was not that much of a surprise. , But not too far, she walked and saw a few police officers and some crime scene tape._

" _Hi… What, what happened?" She asked. They just smiled and told her not to worry about it, because they had brought in the bad guys and EMTs had taken the others. "I'm sorry… Where did the EMT's go? I wouldn't ask, but my husband was around here and his vehicle is still here, but he hasn't made it home and I don't know…"_

" _What's your husband's name?" The cop asked._

" _Steven Alexander Evans." She reluctantly reported. Stevie was famous for not being a friend of the law and she had an overwhelming fear that in any situation involved law enforcement, that she wouldn't get much help. Her anxiety was through the roof and her blood pressure was sky high. She'd just wanted Stevie to enjoy a good night out before she told him something terrible that might break his heart, and now, she was out in the middle of the night asking possibly his worst enemies if they knew his condition._

" _You're his wife. Well, Little Darling, I don't know how to tell you this, but if your husband survived, he's in deep shit. He put a man in the hospital and attacked some of our officers with a weapon."_

" _What? No, he couldn't have. He wouldn't have," she said. She knew Stevie. He never carried weapons. Because, in the event that somebody was stronger than him and possibly took it from him, that could give them even more of an advantage! He especially wouldn't have been armed while out with friends or family._

" _It's lovely that you think the best. At any rate, sorry we couldn't be of more help."_

 _She left. They said, "If he survived," which was probably either the slip of the tongue or a direct warning that he had been beaten by the police. "Attacked with a weapon," with be the perfect excuse. He could be dead in a ditch somewhere…_

 _She drove to the nearest hospital, then the next, then the next. One of the ER's tried to admit her or at least check her vitals and see if she could use a sedative, but she couldn't. She didn't have time. She had been driving for an hour, checking hospitals and now, she was going to dark places with the flashlight of her phone. Maybe he'd been dumped in the woods! Her phone rang and it was Sam. She answered, crying and shaking, "S, S, Sam? Is this about Stevie?"_

" _Yes. Sorry to call so late. I didn't know until about a hour ago and I just got done talking with him."_

" _He's alive?" She asked and sighed. She was relieved, but also so stressed, she thought her heart might explode. Her brain was hurting, she had been crying so much and for so long. "Where is he?"_

" _He's in jail, but they're saying that he'll be released in the morning. Probably definitely gonna be charged, but I'm not sure. He told me to tell you that he's fine and that he's sorry."_

" _Fine? Sorry?" She nearly fell, because the pains in her temples were so sharp and extreme. "Do you know what I have been through this morning?"_

" _I'm sorry. I didn't realize nobody got in touch with you…"_

" _Nobody even answered my phone calls. Nobody told me anything. I have been…" She leaned against her rover in the dark and tried to catch her breath, "You know what? Thank you for passing the message on. I guess I'll see him in the morning."_

" _Okay. Get yourself some rest."_

" _Probably not, but thank you."_

 _When he finally made it home, she was outside. She had been trying to practice how she was going to have this conversation. "I'm sorry that you were arrested last night, but I was driving around for hours and I am about to start cancer treatment," sounded accusatory. "I want to be able to help you through all of this, but you've been coming home drained from battle, needing my support and with this leukemia that I've just been diagnosed with, I don't think that I will be able to dedicate as much time to the mission," sounded selfish. He drove up close to her and she stood up and went to the door. "Stevie…" was all that she could say._

 _He got out and he could hardly walk. She was disarmed. She put her arm around him to help him walk, "To the RV. It's closer and I don't want the children to see you like this." They got inside and she asked, "Do we need to get you to a hospital?"_

" _No. Matt's going to send a doctor that makes house calls." He lied down and seemed like he was having trouble breathing._

" _Will the doctor have the necessary equipment to help you? This is an RV…"_

" _Yeah, it'll be fine. Don't worry," he said. He turned and looked at her and she could barely face him. He was hurt. He was bruised, busted. He was at one of his lowest points. She was supposed to be seeing specialists in two days. She had to tell him. He sat up, groaning in pain, as he did and took both of her hands, "Hey…" She looked up at him and she was pained to see him that way. "It's going to be okay. I promise."_

" _You told me that you wouldn't get in any fights," she said. It came out angrier than she wanted to sound, but seeing how badly this had turned out for him, and how she knew she certainly couldn't tell him her news right now, not to mention what she went through when she couldn't reach him… "I drove around three cities looking for you. I didn't know if the police had finally tired of your renegade shit and made an example out of you like they did with niggerlovers and racetraitors when America was great!" He jumped at her using the words and the anger in her voice, but realize soon it wasn't anger. It was hurt, and fear. "I thought I was going to have a fucking heart attack. I thought that I WAS HAVING a heart attack, and with pain in my chest, , pounding in my ears and head, and, and I'm sick right now anyway… I was driving around in the cold of March, before dawn, praying that my husband wasn't going to be found executed, with nobody willing to investigate it!" He moved to get on his knees in front of her, holding her hands and listening to her vent. "I didn't know how I was going to handle it if I lost you like that and it's something that I have to think about every time you go out there, now and I don't think that's fair to me. I didn't agree to that. I didn't sign on for it. And I knew that the for worst with us could be disastrous and catastrophic, but the way that I felt this morning… I can't do that anymore. I can't do_ this, _ANYMORE, Stevie. I'm… not feeling well. You," she stood up and pulled her hands away. "See your doctor. Go to the hospital, if you need to. And I will bring you some things to get by out here. I don't want the children to have to see this. Because they don't deserve that and they didn't sign up for it, either."_

" _Cheri… I'm sorry." He pulled her close and hugged her, cradled her head, rubbed her back._

" _No," she pulled away. "Please don't hug me. That'll make this harder. Stevie, as long as you have to do these things. The fighting and the justice… I'm sorry. I can't do it with you. I can't be there with you, or for you. I have my own things to worry about and I'm not going to repeat last night. For two hours, you being dead somewhere was a reality for me. Do you understand that?"_

" _Yes! I do understand it! Because I have gone through it. You were taken, Cheri. You were taken because I had lived wrongly. You are one of the main reasons that I need to to do these things. I can't lose you again. I can't have my children find out who I used to be and not see that I became somebody who would do anything so that people like them could live and be free and safe…"_

" _I married you with forgiveness for that, and promising you that we would make sure that when the time came for them to have to face who you were, we'd handle it as a team. You… I don't know… You decided that you could do it better and do it alone and when you did that, you pushed me away. You already lost me, because you went running into the wild and didn't even fucking think about me!"_

" _He threatened you. He threatened the kids…"_

" _People do that all the time! More now that you've been doing this than they ever did for you being the man that I married. It's like you have to find some reason to lay down your life, because for whatever reason, your life doesn't matter to you or mean anything to you. Well it means something to me and to five children that I thought I would have to look at their faces and tell them that you wouldn't be back!"_

 _She lost her footing and he helped her stand up. "No," she said, pushing him away and leaning on the furniture of the RV. "Don't touch me. Just… Don't come back in the house. I'm not going to keep you away from the children. I know that you care about them. I know that you love them and wouldn't hurt them. But, I just… I can't do this anymore, Stevie."_

" _Okay. I understand. I will do whatever you want me to."_

" _I want you to do what makes your life have meaning. You.. were a white power soldier, tried having a family with me. That didn't work. Maybe it's your destiny to be this person who gets beats down by police and has to call doctors in and if that's the legacy that you have to have for our children, I'm not standing in your way. I just wish that we could have been enough for you."_

 _He groaned and kicked a chair, "You do not get it! I do this for y'all!"_

" _We never asked you to do this." They saw the doctor drive up. "I'll bring you some clothes and toiletries."_

.

She couldn't believe that a year had passed. There were plenty of times that she wanted to tell Stevie about her health, her treatment, the decline, and very likely event that she wasn't going to make it through this very well. She couldn't tell him when she wanted to. After putting him out, she didn't think it was kind to add to that distress on him, just like she hadn't wanted to give him an ultimatum. If she had said, "You have to stop doing this, or I will leave you," she was sure that he would have stopped, but what if he resented her for interfering with this grave purpose that he had been willing to jeopardize their peace for in the first place? If she had said, "You have to stop, I am battling cancer," she would have felt like she was guilt tripping him, also like he would pity her.

Eventually, months passed, they were at least cordial and they shared custody and didn't announce any split ups, so there were no magazines or websites reporting a split and making things harder for them. She was working on her show. He was working on his fight. The children just seemed to think that they were both really hard workers that worked in very different jobs. But, she couldn't be sure. Sheva was starting to get annoyed with the living situation. Cowboy was worried about things and sometimes acting out. It was starting to affect the children and that was one thing that she hadn't wanted to happen. She had been upset when she made the decision, but Stevie didn't really fight her. She wasn't sure if it was because he was trying to respect her wishes or because he really didn't want this after all… After last night, she wasn't so sure. The way that he touched her and looked at her… he had never handled her that way before, in all of their years together. He was staring at her right now, like she was the most fascinating sight that he had ever seen. "What is the loveliest woman in the world thinking about right now?"

"That I'm sometimes wrong, really wrong, but I never know how to fix things that I messed up." She saw a sparkle in his eyes. He knew what she meant. She knew that he knew that she was trying to tell him that she didn't want to do this anymore… She wanted him back. She might not say it. He might have to be the one to cement the details. He just said, "Well, it's never mattered to me how wrong you could be or whatever flaws you always thought you had. I loved you before I knew I loved you. I accepted you before I knew I accepted you. And I forgave you before you ever did anything, I forgave you everything. I always will." Cowboy looked like he was going to laugh.

Cheri looked like she was going to cry. "Well, that's silly on your part. What if I really, really mess up?"

He made his way over to her, took both of her hands and pulled her to him, his forehead pressed to hers, "There's nothing that you could ever do that's worst than things I've done, to other people and especially to you. Because, I was supposed to love you, protect you, and support you. I should have begged you to forgive me…"

"Daddy, we can't hear you. What are you saying to Mommy?" Sherwood asked.

"Just saying I love her, always have and always will." He dared a kiss on Cheri's lips, in front of the kids. She shut her eyes tightly and enjoyed it, feeling guilty for enjoying it, because she had not let herself enjoy him in a long time, with the exception of the previous night and even that was bittersweet. She dipped her head back, now considering that this was because of last night and didn't necessarily reflect a future that she could sign on for. Especially not getting any healthier and treatment not becoming very successful… "We'll talk, yeah?" he asked. She nodded her head.

.

The children were in the bed, all sleeping peacefully when she heard him knock on their bedroom door. She opened it and he smiled shyly. "Figured since you slept on the couch to avoid sharing the bed with me again, I'd try not to overstep my boundaries while I'm here." He leaned against the doorway and wrestled to find words, "I… wasn't imagining what happened earlier, was I? You… were suggesting that you think we ought to try to reconcile things…"

She froze. She was apologizing. She wasn't sure if she was ready to reconcile. The work that it would take and the sacrifices that one or both of them might have to make, most likely him, especially if she was going to come clean about everything. That was quite a secret to keep from someone, especially your husband, whether or not you thought that you may work things out.

"I would love to, but I wouldn't know where to start…" she said, sadly and hopelessly.

Stevie looked like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders and that made her feel even more guilty, because she was definitely going to put a burden back on him if they were to work it out. "Honestly, I don't know why you would even want to…"

"I want to! More than anything. Please, don't be afraid now. I promise to never put you through what I put you through before…"

"I'm more worried about what I would be putting you through," she said.

"You would be giving me back my… everything that brings me any type of joy…"She started crying.

"I've been hiding something from you…" she said, barely able to talk.

He stepped forward, cupped her face and assured her, "It doesn't matter. There is nothing in this world that you could say or do to make me not want this. I… should have fought for you with everything that I had. And if you're actually giving me another chance. If you're honestly opening the door for me to make my way back into your life, I'd be a fool to not fight for it."

She took a deep breath and rested against him. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is you and the kids. If I have to never pick up another picket sign, I won't."

"I wouldn't ask you to… That's important to you and I want you to keep that part of your life. I just don't want it to be to such extremes that I have to be afraid that you won't make it home. I'll have enough of that sending the kids out into a world where you know as well as I do, they are targets." She sniffled.

"Ok, Baby. Okay. I'll find balance. I'll even take a break, if I need to."

"I might need you to."

"It's done, then." He looked in her eyes. "I'll do anything."

"I haven't been able to do as much as I used to…" She moved a shaky hand to her head and slowly took off her wig, looking at the ground, afraid and ashamed for him to see her this way, but unsure of how to actually form the words. She braved a look at his face. He was looking at her bald head and his eyes were slowly realizing what was wrong with her. He took a deep breath. She couldn't tell how he was feeling, exactly. Was he betrayed that she kept this from him? Sad that she was doing so poorly? Angry that he hadn't been around to take care of the kids while she battled this?

"My poor sweet, Baby. You've… been living with this by yourself? Because I wasn't here for you…" He kissed her on the top of the head and pulled her close to his heart again. "That will not happen anymore. There's no way that you do this alone, okay?" She squeezed him tightly and cried harder than she had let herself cry in a while, probably since that night she thought he was gone. Crying just as hard for getting him back, she repeatedly apologized. He picked her up and carried her into their room and laid her down on the bed, "Don't apologize." She moved to put the wig back on, but he took it and set it aside. "It can't be comfortable, to keep checking that and trying to straighten it out…"

"I'd rather do that than have people see me like this. I never wanted you to know. I wanted to fight it and move on and if we ever got back together, I never wanted this burden to fall in your lap."

"If you think you can ever be a burden to me, I have messed up so much that I'm the one that doesn't know where to start fixing things."

"The fact that you forgave me for keeping this from you…" She shook her head and cried.

"When you have the strength, tell me exactly what you're fighting. I need to figure out what I need to do to fight this with you." He took her hand and kissed it, then laid her down and caressed her head, gently.


	6. The Repast

_So, I have been having a March Marvel Marathon, THEN I went to go see A Wrinkle in Time and was obsessed with the adaptation and had to go and start re-reading because of this obsession, so I haven't been writing as much this week. BUT, I did have this chapter that I thought previously that I was going to begin the story with, but decided to instead put it here. I just HAD to give Andrea a funeral, so I added a little bit into it and polished it a little. A lot of these philosophical and political conversations and commentary come straight from either my own previous tangents or discussions that I have had with other people in real life. We stay talking about black women and intersections. Anywhoooo… With the watching and the reading, the chapters may be a little spaced out, but the story isn't being abandoned. :)_

 **The Repast**

Sam woke up in the morning to his phone ringing and answered groggily. "Hello?"

"Hey, Pastor," Stevie said.

Sam grumbled, "Stevieisthatyou? You okay, Bro?"

"Yes. I just wanted to call and tell you that you don't have to worry about me, about what I told you. That's over. It's handled."

"You and Cheri are working things out?"

"Yeah. And I also am taking a break from the more physical aspects of activism. I'm still going to be online, make contributions, maybe even do some interviews. But, I'm skipping rallies and I won't be getting into any fights any time soon, unless I'm literally saving a life."

"This is sudden. What happened?"

"I have to be here for my wife."

"I understand. And, you called me to tell me that?"

"No. I called you to ask you to pray for me, for us. I mean… If by some chance that's a thing that works. It can't hurt, so, if you don't mind…"

"I don't mind at all. I've been praying that someday I would get this request."

"Okay. Have a good day," Stevie said and hung up.

Sam climbed out of bed with a smile. Today was going to be an excellent day, then.

.

Mercedes and Sam came to the funeral services in Ohio for Andrea. They were seated near the back of the funeral home seating, and Mercedes had a fidget spinner in her bag, to keep her hands occupied while having to hear different cries and conversations of strangers about someone that she was sad that she didn't get to know better, sooner. Quinn and Tina were seated right in front of them, but they weren't able to sit next to each other, because the place was packed. There were even people standing in the back and near the doors leading to the back section of the building. Andrea's casket was open, and there were yellow, orange, pink, and red flowers all over it. She was made to look almost like a Disney princess. Sleeping Beauty, cursed to a lifetime of slumber. But, she had on a pair of super huge hoop earrings and a Black Tshirt that read "Fuck the 12," something that Sam still wasn't quite sure of the origin of, but knew it was against the police. Her parents had mixed feelings about burying her in it, but Matt and her brothers convinced them that it was what she would have wanted.

Sam looked around the room, observing how many people were there. The place was packed, and they had to go through a huge crowd of people outside with affirming signs, black tee shirts and black lined eyes or black face masks on. He wasn't sure why, but presumed it must be some type of homage or solidarity from the activism community.

He saw Stevie and Cheri up front, near the family, with Cowboy with them, but none of the others. Cowboy was "watching" Mattie Rutherford and both boys were seated between Stevie and Matt, with Cheri and Aphasia respectively seated on the other side of their husbands. Cheri had on a huge hat, and Sam remembered thinking that it might be distracting, before seeing and remembering that many black women wore gaudy church hats to services and ceremonies and Mercedes had plenty when he first met her. She still wore them for grand events, sometimes, but didn't have as many as she once did. A lot of these women did, though. Not Aphasia, but some of the older women.

The pastor from Andrea's church offered some words, "Sister Cohen came up in my church. A lot of her new friends didn't get the chance to know her when she was a church girl, but her family were active members. She was active and she loved the church and the Lord. Some years went by and in spirit, she left the church and later in body, she left too. Sometimes, she'd have a conversation with you about how that went down and what she expected versus what we gave her. I heard a few people speaking about her shortly after she passed. Some of them using this thing she called 'victim blaming.' They said stuff about how she's been causing trouble out there. Some said she says too much. That she wasn't humble. Some said she's an angry girl. Some said that feminism did it. Some said it was because she loved girls. Listen, let me tell you something today - none of that kept Sister Cohen from being a child of God.

Sister Cohen became disillusioned with the church when she was a teenager. She came to talk to me about it. She said that she wanted to do what was right in the world and that she wanted to help people, but every time she turned around, her Christian brothers and sisters wouldn't help her out. Sometimes, they participated in donations for the homeless. She started a ministry in our church where she would take the van and pick people up to bring them to the shelters when it started getting cold. If they had jobs and couldn't leave too far, she'd try to get them into motels. If the motels were not willing to let her pay, as a sixteen year old on behalf of these others, she'd write them bad reviews on the internet and boycott them. But, when she wanted to try to put up a young lady who had been disowned and kicked out of her home for who she was in love with, Andrea said that the church didn't want to help her. She said that our morality had restrictions, but our facade was that love knows no bounds."

He came closer to her casket and looked at her, "They will tell you that she left the church, but really, the church pushed her away. We couldn't quite accept the full child of God. We thought that she had to live a certain way, be a certain way to be considered as His. Meanwhile, I got some in my congregation don't pay tithes while Sister Cohen sent checks to the homeless ministry every week, without fail, even all these years after being away from the church. She didn't believe in God or Jesus in that way which I preach every week. But, she did feed, clothe and shelter the homeless. She did mediate between corrupt governments and the citizens that deserved rights. She did the things that people like me tell their followers that they're supposed to do as proof of their faith. Her faith was simply in what she could see and not ideals that people told her about. She could see evil in the world and she decided that it wouldn't go unaddressed on her watch.

Somebody might get mad at me today, because I'm supposed to always tell you that without Christ, you're going to hell. But, nobody is going to tell me that this girl who I watched grow up, loving others and caring for them is anywhere but resting with the Father now. Nobody can tell me that this young lady who had job offers from prestigious institutes and opportunities flying at her from all directions, who then chose to stick by her best friend as he tried to find justice for his family that had been murdered, and spent her time at an ivy league school being a pariah for standing up for minorities and bucking the wicked system… Nobody can tell me that the woman who put her life on the line when her family had the money and the resources for her to never have to see a day of struggle deserved what happened to her and they surely can't tell me that she deserved to go to hell. That's not who Andrea Cohen was. Andrea Cohen was snarky and sometimes rude, but never towards anybody who didn't ask for it. She was a little bit cold and hard to get close to, but she knew that not everybody deserved her light and her warmth and you had to prove that you did to receive that kind of access. But, to even a stranger, she'd drop a meal, without a second thought. To even a stranger, she'd pull over and press record and you'd hear her smooth voice, slightly shaken say, "Let me post up and make sure Sis is alright." To even a stranger, she'd pick up, out of the rain, convincing them, "Get on in here and don't worry about my seats. I can afford Febreze, but I won't sleep wondering where the young man that was stranded in the rain ended up tonight." And this is just the things that her friends have posted on the church's memorial page! This doesn't even cover the sixteen years that I watched her grow up and worked with her in the church house…"

He touched her hand, "Bless your heart, Andrea. We let you down more times than we actively thought about. I'm glad that we didn't turn you away from your mission. You deserved more."

Sam felt tears in his eyes and glanced over to see that Mercedes went ahead and let hers flow. She had the box of tissue on her lap and everything.

Matt got up with Mattie and picked him up to move to the front. "I always knew that I would never lie to my children about who they were and what the world was. My parents kept me pretty sheltered from a lot. As a matter of fact, if it weren't for this woman that we've gathered to send away, I wouldn't have even known that I was black." A few people laughed. "Oh, y'all thought that was a joke, because I'm supposedly Mr. Woke these days, but I became friends with Andrea Cohen in private school when we were in 6th grade. I had known her pretty much my whole life. My parents and her parents were old friends and we often had to come to gatherings with them and with the Haywards, who didn't have children, at the time. I'm telling my age now, because now everybody knows Jane and Julius." Jane was seated with her parents, Mason and her younger brother, a little further behind than where Matt's seat was. "But, we became friends when we were in 6th grade and it started with some boys giving me a hard time and me trying to impress them. She came up to me and asked, "Why you want them white boys to like you so much?" And I was perplexed at the question. I said, "I'm just trying to make friends." She told me, "There's black kids that you can make friends with. It's not a lot of us, but that makes it easier because we get to all hang out and it doesn't even matter that some of them are a little older. They don't want us feeling alone." I was floored. I was like, "What do you mean black kids?" And she just…" (He imitated her trademark head cocked to the back and scoffed), "Negro. You are a black child." I immediately had a mini-crisis. I was like, "I'm tan" and "There's no such thing as actually black people," and "Black people are like the Haywards. People like you and me aren't really black, just not as pink as the St. Jameses." She said, "Wow. Your parents dropped the ball," and she walked away, but I followed her to where there were a few black kids chilling. Different skin tones, one of them even lighter than me, but she had a white dad, so she was black, but you know, not black-black, to me. And Andrea said, "I found this Tom lost in the wilderness. He needs our help." Many people in the room laughed. Many looked highly uncomfortable. Sam noted that most of the white people looked uncomfortable… then he noticed that there were very few white people even present.

"Andrea was usually the little black voice in my head when we were younger. She'd be the one to ask, 'Do you really want to do that in your skin?' Not because _she_ wouldn't, or didn't think that I should, but because she knew that I was not really good at handling backlash and that I would be sensitive about any backlash that I received. She also knew that black people received more backlash and wanted me to think about what I would be facing. Without that friendship, I don't know if I ever would have been an activist, a journalist, a public figure, a political analyst, or even a man. I might be a scrupulous lawyer with aspirations of being the next Black president and no regard for the black man or woman next to me if it wasn't for Dre, and everybody knows it and my children will always know it. Mattie only had two years with her and he hasn't quite learned yet what it means to have to say goodbye to her forever. And, when I think about the fact that in my head, when I decided I wasn't going to shelter him and his future siblings, because me and Phai want at least one more. We won't overdo it. Not tryna be a five child household…" Stevie threw his hands in the air and Matt chuckled, "But, Andrea Cohen will be a name in the Rutherford house. Andrea Cohen helped to build the Rutherford house. Andrea Cohen told me, "You better not sleep on Phai," not that I was, but I wasn't making the moves it took to win my wife. Andrea said, "Oh what, you not gon' procreate, even though you got you a wife now?" and I knew that to mean that my wife must have been ready for this one." He bounced Mattie a little. And, I know that I keep saying this, but the last thing that she said to me was "Keep spoiling my godson while I'm away." Not only do I plan on doing that, but I plan on him knowing who she was. She was a sheroe. She was a behemoth. She was a down ass girl whose folks had a lot of money and never let it convince them that wealth somehow washes away blackness. She was my sister, even more after I lost my biological sisters, my whole family. She was my family and she was the reason that my family grew and I have people to share the name Rutherford and to teach the name Dre Cohen."

Stevie was up next. Sam hoped that he wouldn't go on a tangent or say something really not right. Then, Sam was embarrassed to have thought that. Stevie knew how to behave and respond in front of people, and as far as Sam knew, he really respected Andrea.

"I know when people die, everybody remembers all of the good stuff and speaks highly of them and tells you all about the great stuff only. Usually, I'm not that kind of person. Usually, no matter what, I'm gonna tell you that while they're dead, that didn't make them perfect or something. But, with Dre… She was so damn close to it that you just know that if you had some type of bad memory of her or some type of complaint about her, you had to have been on the wrong side of history."

He could clearly see it all as he was painting the picture for everyone else, "My earliest memory of her, is in the form of a blur, standing next to Ruthless, holding a laptop and folding her arms with her head shaking side to side. She was standing with a crowd of people the night that I got arrested for murder. Might as well throw it out there, everybody knows it. She didn't think much of me and I certainly wasn't thinking about her.

My clearer memory of her was when I got arrested _again_ this time, honestly not my fault. I got arrested at a messy crime scene and had been kidnapped and fought my way out with my rescuer. It wasn't her, but she was one of my rescuers, because I came out of holding and this super pretty black girl was standing there, seemingly waiting on me and she looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place her face. She introduced herself as one of Matt's associates and drove me to the safe house where they were figuring out how to handle whatever mess we had going on at that time. She had really great taste in music. That day, she was listening to the Robert Glasper Project. I lowkey SoundHounded it so that I could come back to 'd let me charge my phone in the van, went through drive through, order me something and tossed it to me. She wasn't nice and that night, I'd thought - She is so rude. I didn't ask her to be here. It didn't occur to me until some time later that _I_ was the rude one. I _didn't_ ask her to be there, but she was. She didn't like me, but on behalf of Matt, who was working on behalf of my sister-in-law, who had reached out on behalf of my now wife, Andrea Cohen had driven an hour and a half, almost two hours, came with bail money, picked me up, fed me, drove me back to my family, and later even worked on the legal team to get charges dropped, not because I asked her to do or even because her friend asked her to. She did it because she looked at the facts and thought that even though she didn't care about or like me that in that situation, I was wronged, people were wronged and they needed help and she helped didn't even like white people." The room laughed.

"So, I realized that I was the rude one, because I eventually recalled that I didn't say thank you to her. I did a lot of sighing and telling myself that she was rude and even resented her a little bit for not being sensitive to the fact that my woman had been kidnapped and locked up, then I had been, then I was arrested and still hadn't seen my woman, safe yet. Which, later on, she apologized for, but not until I actually thanked her.

This is my clearest memory of meeting her, to be honest. I thought about it the other day, when there was a tribute to her at my birthday party…"

 _Andrea had picked him up from jail after he and Jake fought with Max. He had seen her before a couple of times - the night that he was arrested for killing Hank, in particular. She was one of the people working to get back the women he kidnapped - Aphasia and Quinn… both of which were in this room for his birthday - the types of things that often made him feel like he had died and this was his Jacob's Ladder hell dreamscape where nothing made sense. But, when he saw her again, two years ago, he was a different person and she looked the same. "I never thanked you," he said. She looked at him like he had just spoken a different language. "You came to get me out of the police station and drove me to the safe house. I complained about the location and then I got out of the van."_

" _I don't expect anything more from you, Steven Evans," she said._

" _Well, I should live in such a way that people can expect more…"_

" _What are you, following in your brother's footsteps, now?"_

" _Oh, HELL no!" He frowned, "I don't think that my head is big enough to ever try to be like him again."_

" _You mean that you don't wish to be the next Pecksniffian Pastor?" She asked. Stevie roared out laughter and she jumped at the sound of it._

" _I'm sorry. Oh, God. That was really funny."_

" _Are you familiar with that name?" She asked._

" _I read a lot," he told her._

They had been relatively cool since then. Mostly only around each other in group settings, but they did speak business on the phone a lot and toss in a joke at Sam's expense here and there.

He decided not to publicize the detailed account of that night. "I thanked her and we made some jokes at… white people's expense, and we worked together, mostly on doxxing white supremacists, because I don't think that I've heard it said here today yet, but she was an excellent hacktivist. Around the Ruthless Revolutionaries circles, they told a story about how she could have been a part of Anonymous, but declined because she thought that they were either antiblack or not here for black people, and so many of her friends gave her shit about it. Like she should have just worked with them anyway and so on, then when that whole fiasco about how Anonymous was going to sever ties with Black Lives Matter because they felt that their goals were different, Andrea proceeded to just pass by colaborers who doubted her with a "Joanna the Scammerresque smirk," as Phai described it." She and he started laughing, along with a few others.

"In the past week, I've flown all over, driven all over, made calls, made posts, made visits, to talk about Dre, work on arrangements, help Matt and Phai, help out the Cohens, a little bit, and in that time, and in that action, I wasn't tired and I wasn't pained to do these things. I've been pained that my friend is gone. I've been pained that she was taken away before being able to do everything that she could. But, I had the energy and the desire to do everything that I've done because she always had it to do for others. The last time I saw her, she was taking a short break to go see Hamilton and she had just refreshed me on what she normally does whenever we out a white supremacist on my webpage and the journey that follows them, along with the surveillance. She said, "Now, lemme take this girl to go see what's essentially the story of a bunch of colonists that stole land and enslaved Africans, as told through music that was created by the very types of people that they victimized." I laughed, not gonna lie. I often laughed when she spoke, even though she was always serious, there was a certain way that she said things that even though it was true and not funny when you think about it, it was delivered with humor. But, when she left out of the door, she said, "Don't fuck it up." So, that was the last thing that I heard her say, besides the… recording…" He paused and Cheri quickly went up to give his hand a squeeze and offer him a face to face look of encouragement. He just kept his eyes on her, still talking.

"So, whenever I've been faced with a decision, or tasked with something to help, for this entire week, a little bit more, actually, I keep hearing her voice tell me that."

Matt repeated from the audience, "Don't fuck it up."

Stevie nodded. "We have chances every day to do right by somebody. That's something that Dre believed in. She believed that everyday there was a chance to do right by somebody, but also that you can't do right by everybody. That we have to choose who we're willing to do right by. I neglected my wife…" Cheri shook her head. _Please do not make this about me._ He understood the look, but this was pertinent. "I was ignoring her so that I could help other people and Dre was one of the main people who kept saying to me, "You're gonna fuck that up," she told me that my wife was such a wonderful find and I was lucky she even let me anywhere near her and that I'd be really stupid to let her go. She also said, because somebody like her would come around and finesse her right out of my dusty white arms." Cheri chuckled. "So, I'm saying goodbye to a friend today and also, making sure that I remember her, not just for things she's done for me, and things she's done for others, but the lessons that she gave me while she was doing all of this. She taught you how to care about people, even if you didn't care about them. She taught you how to do the right thing, even when it was an inconvenience, but never to put the people who really mattered on the backburner. If they matter, they come first and you do for them what you have in you to do for others. The biggest takeaway…"

"Don't fuck it up," many of their friends in the audience answered.

Mercedes whispered to Sam, "I see why this is in a funeral home and not a church." She slightly chuckled. He was too busy thinking about this testimony, _Don't fuck it up._ He couldn't really remember exactly what Andrea's voice sounded like, so perhaps, he'd just have to remember it in Stevie's voice.

Jane and Mason were up. Mason honestly seemed like he was simply there for emotional support, but he had known Andrea about as well as Jane had, but he hadn't been with her in her last moments, watching the events take place. "I wasn't going to stand up today to say anything, but I haven't been speaking at any of the events, and this is really my last time to say things to her." She went to the coffin, squatted near it and said in a low voice, "I am so sorry that this happened. I know that it still could have happened if I hadn't frozen, but the fact that you were trying to check on me when they did this to you is never going to leave me."

Mason uncomfortably glanced around the room, He was not going to interrupt, but he couldn't tell if people could hear her or not and hoped that they didn't and also hoped that Jane was going to be able to manage these last words. "It's essentially my fault that so many people lost you."

"No, it's not!" Matt and a few others told her. So they _could_ hear her. She didn't stop, though.

"I fucked it up. They said get out of the car and I didn't. I froze! You came to check on me and they hit you, They hit you until you died! They hit you…" She was crying uncontrollably and Matt, Phai, and Cheri came to help Mason collect her, while Stevie stayed with Cowboy and Mattie and leaned to say something to Andrea's mother. They spoke briefly, then Stevie collected Mattie, brought Cowboy up front and announced, "While we check on our friend, my son is gonna recite a poem or two that Andrea taught him." He handed Mattie to Mrs. Cohen and then went to the back, where the others had taken Jane.

Sam stayed seated and listened to Cowboy recite, "Hey Black Child" and "I Too, Am America." Stevie, Matt, and Aphasia returned, while Mason and Cheri remained with Jane, in the back. They returned to their seats, along with Cowboy and some other people went up front to praise Cowboy and honor Aphasia.

At the end of the event, the Cohens, the Rutherfords, Stevie and Cheri remained there to receive condolences and thank people for coming. Sam and Mercedes made their way to them, offering their support and apologizing for this tragedy. Sam told her immediate family, "I wish that I had taken the time to get to know her better. We worked together several times and she was always wonderful to me and my family." He reached Stevie and just gave him a big, hard hug. "Sorry for your loss, Little Bro." Stevie patted him on the back and nodded his head. "Where's Jane at?"

"Still in the back. Down the hallway, door to the right, if you want to go encourage her."

Mercedes called softly, "Matt?"

He took her hand and helped her to stand in front of him, "I'm here."

"I really want to talk to you, when you get a chance?"

"Certainly. Calm me tonight." She gave him a hug and he said, "Unless it's crucial enough for right now?"

"No. It can wait. Be with your family, right now. I am so, so sorry."

Jane eventually spoke to Mrs. Cohen and apologized for the breakdown during remarks, as well as what happened that day. The woman assured her that it never crossed anyone's mind that Jane was in any way at fault for those crooked cops' behavior. Everyone had told Jane that. It still didn't make her feel confident that she hadn't gotten her friend killed.

.

The road to the burial was driven with a playlist. Matt had created it, sent the link to everyone, made discs for some of the folks with actual disc players and even a few cassettes, because of some "real nigga shit" that Andrea had requested in the event of her death. She had wanted a playlist of her favorite black jams shared with all her peoples on the way to the place that she was going to spend the rest of history.

She wanted a parade, with a black show band performing, a black cheerleading squad, an all black dance team dressed like Beyonce's dancers when she performed Formation at the Super Bowl (afros and all), with a boombox doing the Jukebox Challenge, and an all black choir.

When they reached the site, Matt arranged valets for everyone who wasn't in one of the funeral cars. The family and close friends went first, Matt grabbed Mercedes' hand and nudged his head at Sam to join them. The pallbearers wore Black Panther Party outfits and did a step routine as they carried the coffin, with other step team members with them, doing routines on the way.

The parade began with the step team escort of the body, followed by the family and close friends, followed by the cheerleaders, followed by the choir, followed by the dance team, followed by the show band, and all of those who had gathered in solidarity followed behind.

It was like a moving block party, complete with all the hits that you'd hear at the cookout, some trap music, jazz numbers, and several dances that "everybody" knew, everybody being everybody that was blackity black. When they lowered her into the ground, the playlist was playing _Tha Crossroads._ Several women poured out their coconut oil and then people began to put the dirt, each saying a quote that reminded them of her, or by a black person, preferably activist. Aphasia had a jar of them, in case people couldn't think of one.

At the end, there was a dance party. Mercedes commented, "I have never been to a funeral like this…"

Matt nodded, "It turned out just the way that she envisioned it."

The family and friends travelled back to the Cohens for the repast. It was their way of sending Andrea off, since they allowed Matt to send her off the way that she would have wanted. At the repast, there was a jazz band and a singer with three backup singers, a table for the family, including the Rutherfords, and the pastor led the prayer before the meal. Matt ended up making rounds and mingling on andrea's behalf. Aphasia found her way over to Stevie and mentioned, "I don't have anybody else that might be ain't shit with me and clown around to make the situation lighter and easier."

He smiled and nodded. "She was the queen of that, among other things."

"How was your birthday? We didn't hear a peep out of you all weekend."

"I spent time with the wife, the family, the kids…" He said and smiled at Cheri, who was eating tiny portions that Aphasia wanted to comment on, but Stevie's wife was off limits for the dozens. It was an unspoken rule not to include her or the children. Which, now that she thought about it, Stevie's mom was famous for roasting all of them all over the country…

"I'm glad that you were able to do that for your birthday."

"Ummm, I'm gonna do this for a while," he said. He cleared his throat and nodded, "Working on rebuilding the family. I'll still be online and stuff, but not as in the middle of things."

She nodded her head, "I understand. I took a break after the whole kidnapping thing. Hopefully, we'll see you on the field again, someday."

Sam came up to them and Aphasia recoiled, as she had been reflexively doing today. "Hey, I was just coming to try to grab Stevie for a moment."

Stevie nodded and got up. "Look after my wife."

"Duh, Fool. Gon' with your brother." Aphasia said, waving him off.

Cheri smiled, politely. "We never get left alone together, I just realized."

"We don't have anything in common. I don't even know what we would talk about, to be honest," she said.

"We've got Stevie," Cheri said. Aphasia smiled, shrugged her shoulders and nodded.

.

Sam placed his hands on Stevie's shoulders and studied him, "I know that today is a hard day for you. The two of you seemed pretty close. And in addition to what you told me the other day…"

"Yeah, sorry about that little meltdown. I'd have a few drinks the night before. You know I shouldn't be mixing alcohol with my meds. Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm never truly saying goodbye to her. Her work will live on through our work."

"Ok. I understand that. But, I was a little bit more concerned about the Cheri thing. Because, I didn't see you crying like a small child over losing your friend, but I did see you doing so when you confessed to me that you lost your wife a year ago. You told me that y'all are working things out, but it was so sudden and I just want you to know that I'm here for you, if you need me for anything while y'all work it out."

"It's fine, now." Stevie said, watching Aphasia and Cheri awkwardly talk from several feet away.

"It's… fine now? So, you two slept together and now you're going to work it all out? After a whole year apart, I don't think that in one night that you can just bounce back…"

"I never said any of that," Stevie said. "We were having some problems, we took some time apart and now we're not going to take anymore time apart. That's all that you need to know, and you only need to know it because I made the mistake of breaking in front of you. Just, try not to think about it. Pretend that today is just any other day and don't bother with me, as usual. I don't need a big brother for this, or anything else. We can go back to that." Stevie offered a cynical smile and returned to his seat.

.

Matt found Mercedes, seated with Jane and Mason, and took a seat near them, "Three of da best," he said. Mason shook his hand and he gave Mercedes and Jane hugs. "How's business, Mason?"

"Incredibly good."

"Now, you're doing like holistic beauty and guru typed stuff or something, right?"

"Umm… I guess you could say that. I do produce all natural home spa products, but the biggest goal of the PickMason is to have a culture and community of like-minded individuals who want to be the best that they can be for the women who allow them to be in their worlds. I am willing to be called a cuck or a pick me, if that means that Jane always has what she wants and needs from me. And, I was able to make a business out of it. More men want to be able to serve the women in their lives than toxic masculinity sometimes allows."

"Amen," Matt said and he and Jane exchanged 'bless his heart' smiles. "Now, I find that it seems like mostly house husbands, trophy boyfriends, kept baby daddies and manservants flock to this community, but it's not exclusive to men who want to be dominated by their women, is it? Like, is it a kink or is it a lifestyle?"

"It is an identity," Mason said. "Any man can decide that he wants to worship his woman fully put all of his energy into her and every extension of her. There are women who train themselves to do it all of the time and nobody blinks an eye. People think they _should_ be subservient. But, whenever men like myself are living for a woman, then we're ostracized for not conforming to the stereotypes that keep patriarchy and misogyny alive and well."

"I love my passionate feminist hubby," Jane said and rubbed his hand.

"And he obviously loves you, very much. I wish I would spout some stuff about how I worship Phai. SHE'D leave my ass and take Mattie with her," he joked.

Jane offered, "I have seen you do things that I believe were nothing short of worship. Like love and friendship, every word that describes a human experience is open to interpretation on a person to person basis. You may say, 'I love my wife,' and I may see your actions and still interpret it as worship."

Matt nodded, "As valid a that is, my worship and Mason's worship are not in the same vein."

"Well, of course not. Mason is one of a kind. Nobody worships like he does," Jane commented, to Mason's obvious pleasure and excitement. His eyes grew wide when he gasped, then he smiled wide and squinted his nose.

Unable to stop smiling, he gushed, "The goddess sees my service and she approves…"

The others laughed. Mercedes touched her heart, "He is the sweetest. I'm really proud of both of you for the businesses that you've created. I rarely get to speak to either of you anymore."

Jane said, "I haven't created any business. I'm still working for white men who don't appreciate my efforts. It's just like at Dalton, but thank goodness, I get paid to be there."

"Actually," Mason offered, "Jane is going to take a leave of absence to focus on healing…" He looked at her as though it was a question.

"Right, I am. I will just focus on my creative juices, maybe blogs, and probably try to build more in the ForTSWAH community."

"Yeah! Yeah, that! That's what I meant by your business," Mercedes said.

"It's not though. It's just a collective of sisters," Jane said.

"Just," Mercedes and Matt both chimed in. Mercedes expounded, "Girl, you out of the goodness of your heart and just on a hope and an inspired little notion decided that you were going to pour out some coconut oil for murdered black women and it became a challenge, then a movement, then I mean… force! I hear the hashtag ForTSWAH on every website that I visit."

Matt also added, "I read that they were thinking of trying to make it a Black Identity Extremist group." Mercedes gasped. "Who would have thought that our little Jane would end up being labelled a terrorist for being so outrageous as to get one of her lovely decorative bottles of coconut oil, pour out a little bit for each name on a #SayHerName list with K. Lamar's Sing About Me playing in the background."

"Are there people doing bad things in the name of the movement or something?" Mercedes wondered. "I've heard that this happens with BLM a lot."

"If there is anyone who is using For the Sisters Who Ain't Here in that manner, I haven't heard anything about it," Jane complained, "Mostly it is likely scare tactics because of my involvement with Andrea's… and combined with the fact that anything a black woman does that in any way affirms blackness or womanhood, she is attacked for it and targeted. I've had several people tell me that we shouldn't use coconut oil because of the treatment of coconut crops and that we're being environmentally and culturally insensitive and ruining people's lives. I have more research to do into that, but naturally, I did not know or consider that might be an issue. I just used what I had - something that I don't know a single black woman who doesn't use, value, or appreciate coconut oil.

I co-opted an old Black American practice of pouring out liquor, generally in the form of a 40 oz bottle in memory of brothers who have died. I was thinking of the sisters and ewe don't even drink alcohol, so I wouldn't have had any in the first place. So, as someone who always has a surplus of oils, because of Mason's work in his home lab and also because I have always used the stuff, even before he made a business out of it, I had coconut oil a-plenty and knew how sisters are about coconut oil. It is something that we need and something that we love. To salute our fallen sisters, I thought it would be a great thing to just give her a little bit of ours in tribute."

"It was a wonderful idea," Mercedes cheered.

"I loved it," Matt said. "Other people loved it and that is exactly why it caught on. But, as you said, everybody hates black women."

"They hated Christ, too," Mercedes commented.

Mason said, "God is a black woman." The others chuckled. Mason threw them all serious looks. "Who else has given more for the world?"

"The black woman has not always given for the world. Much of what was given was taken. She may still be God, but she definitely has not always given out of godliness," Matt said. "She joins in solidarity on nearly every front, generally at the front lines, her body falling, being broken and crushed. She fights despite what is inflicted upon her, and just when the goal is within her reach and there is room for all to move forward, everyone around her crowds forward, having hardly fought and they push her to the back. She deserved better." Matt's eyes glazed over, then he stood up, "Good to see you all. Thank you for coming. I have to make more rounds." He got up and instead of making rounds, went to the bathroom.

"He's going to go cry again," Mason said, sadly.

Jane added, "He's going to cry forever…"


	7. The Reawakening

**The Reawakening**

Mercedes had been thinking a lot about the conversations that she had in recent weeks about race, racism, and racial justice. She was trying to think of how she could possibly incorporate Matt's words on black women into the talk show, but she also knew that many of her viewers and some of the producers were very… well… entitled about the way that conversations about blackness were handled on the air. They referred to the practice as non-militant, but sometimes, it seemed really watered down to her.

As someone who could not visibly see the differences in the people at the center of the discussions, she had to go specifically based on information that she heard about when thinking of concepts such as racism and colorism. Vision based xenophobia was one of the few things that she could not mentally comprehend or create an image for.

Her ears could hear when prejudices were made because of foreign languages, accents, dialect, and usage of grammar. She had instances in which she witnessed by ear people being told to speak English, people being ridiculed for their pronunciation of words, and people being judged because they didn't assimilate to "proper English."

She understood the difference between a voluptuous figure like hers and a more acceptable one like Quinn's. She didn't understand why one was valued over the other, but she could at least feel the difference in the appearances. She could also tell when people were tall vs short, length and texture of hair, and various other phenotypes of different cultural groups' typical facial structures.

But, you cannot feel skin tone or color. She could tell from years of hearing voices that Quinn was likely a white woman and that Tanisha was a black one. Even with Jane, she could hear something in the timbre of her voice that clicked to associations her mind had made with other black women's voices. So, whenever Jane mentioned that people sometimes remarked that she sounded 'like a white girl,' Mercedes was shocked. Proper American grammar may have been formed by white people, but it wasn't exclusive to them so long as the country kept growing.

At any rate, being able to feel hair, hear voices and tongues, and even sometimes certain smells, like hair grease and often times different tropical scents in other beauty products would tell her that somebody was black.

However, if you simply gave her a disembodied hand and had her to study it, she would not be able to tell you how to describe the skin covering it. With all of the access of people and life through her hands, that was one of the things that could not be determined. So, naturally - it never made any sense to her to hear about the extreme, ongoing racial inequality of the world. But, she could still witness it. Of all of the people that she heard say the words, "I don't see color," she witnessed many of them in a lie about it. Many who claimed not to be able to see color still incorporated the same types of toxic and dangerous behavior that inflicted pain upon minorities. She could see that, despite not being able to see color. She didn't see color, but still could see people's true colors.

Her only blindspot was ever Sam. From the moment that she met him, she had no reason to even believe in him, but she always had. And she wanted to also believe that he would be the best him that he could be when she decided to say to him, "I want to become more involved racial equality activism."

Then "the best him" slowly faded through the conversation. He definitely tried. He started his doubt small, smaller than people who doubted her usually did, just… Larger than his doubt usually was."Oh? What would that entail?"

She smiled and began her spiel. It was times like this that Sam was relieved that she couldn't see his face, because he certainly couldn't control it at the moment. First, there had been shock, then disbelief, and now he could feel the worry creases in his brow and tension in his jaws as she cheerfully announced, "It would entail me being more vocal about the black experience, across all intersections."

"Okay, so your involvement would be more vocal attention, then?" He asked. Maybe that might be okay… in the studio. When she left though, he'd have to definitely beef up security. His brain was already trying to formulate a safety contingency plan.

"Not _only_." His entire body tensed up. "I would like to see if I could possibly get someone to back an entire show for me that focuses specifically on these issues, because Blind Leading is a little bit more centrist than what I'm trying to become…" She could feel his frown in the atmosphere and she cleared her throat. The tension was a little bit stifling, "And if I can't be backed for a show, I was hoping to perhaps shake it up on my current show some, or until then, and also wondering what you think about us having a ministry dedicated specifically to this." Sam's heart was beating faster than he wanted it to and he tried not to get angry, even though he was red in the face. "So, what do you think about it?"

Sam fought back a scoff. "I think that this doesn't sound like you. What prompted this?"

"Being Black," she replied, with a slight nervous laugh. He and Stevie had been fighting about this for the past couple of years and even more in recent months, so she knew it was sensitive for him, but it was sensitive for her _too_ , as a goddamned black woman.

"Well… You've been that all your life…" He laughed nervously, himself. He hadn't had to have a conversation like this with her in a long time and whenever they used to - it was always in regards to what other people did. The race stuff didn't ever actually _touch_ her… and now, she was suggesting that she wanted to put herself in its path.

"We have programming all over the place, everywhere to make us feel like we have to give up our lives for everybody else but ourselves and each other. So, it took me a while to remember that even though I've been this way my whole life, I shouldn't be okay with everything that happens to us - just because it's been normalized."

"Of course you shouldn't, but I've got you safely tucked away from any kind of the dangers that… forgive me for saying so… People like the ones that you want to emulate go rushing towards."

"People like I want to emulate…" She repeated, mildly offended as she tried to process what he meant by that.

"Stevie. Matt. Aphasia. Jane. Mason… Andrea…?"

Now, she scoffed and got a bit choked up. "Don't do that, Sam. What happened to her wasn't her fault!"

"No, it wasn't. But what happened before then didn't help her out!" He fussed. "And, I'm not going to say that I'm fine with you chasing after the same type of activities and possibly the same kind of fate! Never. I can't stop Stevie from being that kind of fool, but I'm definitely not letting you do it!"

"Letting me? Wow. This is not your best look. I am actually seriously disappointed in you."

He took a deep breath and laughed, "I'm disappointed in you. So… what, all this time, were you pretending that you agreed with me just to not fight? Were you pretending to have my back in not getting involved in radical and militant ideology and practices?"  
"I literally said start another show. How is it radical or militant?"

"You just finished pointing out to me that Jane might be considered a terrorist for pouring coconut oil in the dirt! You wanna try this again, with acting like having an entire talk show centered around attacking the kinds of people that will beat you to death during a traffic stop!"

"They need to be attacked!"

"Not by you!" He yelled.

"Then, by who? Somebody who can see? Because, _you_ haven't been stepping up. You're more concerned with reforming white supremacists than with being in solidarity with the people that they hurt…"

"I've put _hundreds of thousands_ into people who have been hurt by…"

Heaven came into the room and wondered, "Daddy, why are you yelling at Mommy? What's happening? Are you going to live in different houses like Cowboy's parents?" Mercedes took a deep breath and extended an embrace to him, "Of course not, my perfect prince. Uncle Stevie and Auntie Cheri just have different lives. They don't live in different houses." She wasn't sure if that was true or not. Sometimes, children talked to each other about things and it wasn't like him to assume, but also - children didn't always understand.

"They yell at each other. We don't do that at our house!" Heaven insisted.

She gave him a hug, "No, no we don't. Daddy didn't mean it. Mommy said something that really scared him. I said something that could be dangerous and all he wants is for Mommy to be safe - for all of you to be safe."

Sam came over to collect Heaven, "I am sorry that I yelled. Sometimes, even I get angry. But your mom is right. I was scared. I'm sorry about the yelling. We _don't_ do that at our house. Getting angry don't make wrong right. Let me let you think about it, and whenever you forgive me, let me know, okay?" He gave him a kiss and put him down. Heaven reluctantly left the room, but appeared to be appeased enough by the time that he did.

"He was right, you know?" Sam said when Heaven was out of earshot. "This tore Stevie and Cheri apart for a year."

"If anything, bad communication and conflicting schedules tore Cheri and Stevie apart. I told them they needed therapy, instead, they put their entire lives in front of cameras. What happened between them, what _happens_ between them, is not our business or our situation and doesn't mean that it would happen with us. We are Sam and Mercedes Evans. We're a team. We're _the_ team. Our entire reputation is built upon our love and respect for each other. Nothing that happens with other people is going to happen with us because we are in tuned and keep it real with each other. If you don't support me in this, that changes us, Sam."

He sighed, "If I support you, it can lead to you being hurt. I can't support even the possibility of that, Babydoll. I _can't._ Everything in me is trying to convince me to just say that I support it, but the louder voice has me convinced that it's just too dangerous. If you were going to do that, I would never want you go to out by yourself. You can't see a threat approaching. The kids can't recognize a threat coming…"

"We can teach them to recognize threats. Starting with police officers…"

"You… Want… Us to teach our children that the police are a threat? Not that there are bad ones, but that all of the police are a threat?"  
"I think that they should be prepared for the very likely event that a policeman might be one of the threats to them, because they are, to them… and for real reason. Not one that I am able to see or feel…"

Sam rubbed his face and put his head down, "We… need to talk about this another time."

"Like when the kids aren't here so that you can yell some more?"

"Pretty much," he said and got up.

"Are you seriously about to leave this room?"

"The conversation is over for now and I don't even know why you would bring it up later, to be honest. I've already explained that it's extremely important to me that my wife doesn't draw a bullseye on herself and I can't figure out another way to tell you that I don't support this and that I won't."

"I find it interesting that when I was younger, less experienced and more mentally unstable, you managed to be okay with the bullseye that I painted on myself to be with _you._ "

"Yeah, well, I was all of those things too, at the time. I'm older, know more about life and society and have my head screwed on right. I would die before I let you run into the line of fire." He left the room and she sighed.

.

"He is so good about being kind about my size, my mental health situation, me being blind, and when it comes to my skin color, he tries to just make sure not to offend, but if he isn't doing something proactive about helping, isn't that the same thing as being part of the problem?" Mercedes asked, angrily.

Cheri glanced at Mercedes and Jane resting on the couch in the home library, but returned to reading her book. Jane answered, "I think that he's the same kind of man that he was when you married him and now, you're awakening and it is frightening for him."

"Did Mason always support you doing the work that you do?"

Jane chuckled, "I don't think it's fair to compare how these things stack up. For one thing, I was pretty much like this when Mason met me as a 15 year old girl whose parents had fought to get her included into an all boys' school. It took me a few years before I'd had enough and wanted to follow in the footsteps of my bloodline by actively going up against the system. But, even then, Mason had seen me personally be attacked and he was ready to fight, himself. You're coming from a place of empathy, a place that Sam can't even really understand, because not only does it not touch him, but he's under this impression that respectability politics is helping the state of affairs for black people. Hmmm…" She began typing quickly on her laptop, "I think that I can find some examples of good, upstanding negroes, living their lives and minding their black ass business when BOOM, whiteness strikes them down… Maybe for round 2, you move in with something like that."

Mercedes' head turned towards Cheri and she said, "You don't have a lot to say about this."

"No, I don't," Cheri agreed. She added, "Because, I'm with Sam. I come from the school of 'Don't start none, won't be none.' To me, to go out into the world that already wants to harm you and draw attention to yourself, in any way is not a good idea."

"You're literally a pop culture icon," Jane reminded her.

"Yes. And I didn't start getting the kinds of threats that I get these days until Stevie founded Ghost(skins) Detectives. I used to get hate mail about how I talk to my mom, or how Stacie is such a better role model than me and she should be the star of a show. I occasionally got really angry people because I didn't allow dogs near me or people who own dogs to sit on my furniture and rape threats after engaging fools. But, when Cornflake decided that he was all in like what you're thinking about, I got death threats, bomb threats, people saying that the entire R Word studio should be poisoned and burned to the ground, people sending me lynching photos of smiling white people and pointing arrows to me and to my husband… And you don't have the problem of having to try to just log on to your space and have to get rid of everything because of that or be faced with having to sift through it for those fan messages of support. Whenever you _do_ start to get that kind of attention, you won't have to be the one to see it. Whoever is managing your messages will, so I hope you pay them a shitload, because it can be traumatic. It can be dreadful to want to log on to promote a new music video that you got a modeling gig in and know that at least 100 of the notifications will be angry white people racially attacking you and at least 50 will be black people calling you a bedwench, because they're not convinced that your white husband is legit an ally, which in turn makes him behave more radically, which in turn makes the white people act more stupidly..

It can honestly feel like your brain is going to break by the number of images that sneak into your memory because you only pressed a button and lo and behold, a black body on fire and a crowd of people smiling. Because, I never even became involved, Stevie did and that was byproduct. So, you do you, Sis. But, I'm always going to be with Sam on this one. Why stir up trouble that isn't yours?"

"If everyone took that attitude, we never would have had rights," Jane told her.

Cheri shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe not. But, maybe we would have if enough people who were going through would have rose up."

"That's your stance? That only the people affected should fight? When they have the least advantages and resources? I'll have you know that many who decided that they would stay out of the fight and do what master said were killed just out of white fear that they might rebel like Nat Turner."

Cheri shut her book, "That sounds like further reason for her _not_ to get involved."

Jane, "It's reason that _all_ of us should be involved. They're going to attack us, either way. Both of the incidents that have personally happened to me happened with no instigation and no just cause. I'm a third generation heiress, just like you. Perhaps if there was a white grandmother in my DNA, I might have been treated slightly kinder…"

"Well, you've got a white dude in your kids DNA, so I suppose that's a start." Jane flared her nostrils and shook her head. Cheri just said, "This is why I was quiet. Neither of you want to hear what I have to say. I'll end it at this - If the person that you're building a life with isn't in it, you jumping in and endangering them or even you jumping in and endangering yourself is really unfair - to both of you."

"The world is unfair. What she's trying to jump into is making it fairer for many. Being a little bit unfair to one in order to do that is…"

"Fucked up. She's not married to the world. She's married to Sam. Fuck the world. They're not giving her anything worth her flesh, blood, and bone. They're not giving her something worth losing what she got and made for herself. When she's on her death bed, the world isn't about to be by her side. She's gonna be another cautionary tale or hashtag and centuries later, people will inaccurately report her efforts and her influence. But, if that's what you want, like I said, Girl - you do you." Cheri left the room and Jane frowned.

Mercedes asked quietly, "Did she leave?"

"Yeah. Probably going to go pop some pills and pretend that everybody has done her something wrong so that Stevie can whimper before her and tell her that she's actually the best thing in the world and everyone who says anything remotely different is simply attacking her."

Mercedes wondered, "Did you two have some type of falling out?"

"Didn't you hear her? That was the most 'You field niggas are making it hard for us up in the big house' shit that I've heard all year." She went on to complain, "She has a white grandmother who didn't want her black ass son to marry a black woman, and on the other side a black woman who considers herself biracial because of a rapist two generations ago. She started a family with a Nazi, some offense. I don't expect her to have good decisions, herself. But, how does she figure that she can tell you what you're doing wrong?"

"I asked her, though."

"She could have said, 'I'm with Sam' and left it at that. She chose to tell you everything that she failed to tell Stevie over the past year. She used your very new and frightening situation to vent her rage. We never have a falling out, but I'm not going to pretend that she's the princess of the ball that black bodies are falling down down right outside of the window." Jane complained.

"The current racial climate is tearing people apart…"

"No it's not. People are rising up against the racism, so white people are lashing out to try to keep their power. The fact that efforts and actions have increased to keep white supremacy powerful is proof that our works mean something, that our actions matter. Cheri can miss me with everything that she said."

"Getting called a bedwench everyday has to be troubling," Mercedes defended.

"Yeah, I've been having it happen for years. The first time it happened, I was just a kid with a nice, cute boyfriend that I wasn't even sexually active with. I have had it happen sometimes when I am in black supposed safe spaces. I have it happen when I attend meetings for black movements. I've had people tell me that they didn't trust me to work with them because of my white husband. It does hurt, but it didn't make me think that they didn't deserve radical change in the systemic oppression of our country. I just moved on to other projects where my work could be appreciated and I could be respected, despite who I love. And it certainly didn't make me attack my friends and family who wanted to do the same and treat them as though their walk was less important than someone else's."

"How on Earth do you… Balance that?"

"Well, I have a man that treats me like a goddess, making sure he does everything in his power to try to soothe me when I'm razzled and I have friends who support me and a family that loves me. Whenever I go out into the world, I never know what is going to happen. Whenever I come home, I always know that love is on the other side of the door. It replenishes me and refills me. Matt and Aphasia did this whole seminar some years back on black love and returning home to it after being greeted by black hate globally from the moment that you step outside. I was amazed and grateful how much of what they talked about was what Mason had always done for me all of the time. I do agree with one thing that Cheri said… If Sam doesn't support you in this, that won't be good for your voyage home. You'll be attacked outside of those walls and whether or not he mentions it, you might be being attacked inside of those walls, by dissent, distrust, disappointment… stuff that carries very little weight from random people, but so much weight when it comes from someone that you respect and care about. Try to get him to understand how important it is to you that he trust you and support you."

"I felt like I shouldn't have to explain that…"

"Well, when we're married, we often have to explain things, just so that we know that we're definitely on the same page. If we aren't, the foundation can be shaken. Sam means too much to you for you to go up against him on something that just happened to you. I can't give you advice, because I can't even imagine saying that I want to do something and having Mason roar, "I forbid it!" Honestly, I'd probably check myself into a home or something, because I would think that I must have lost my mind, like it was no way that it actually happened, so I must be hallucinating."

Mercedes laughed, "I thought the same thing until yesterday. Do you know how many times I didn't agree with him, and I still supported him? Countless times. I've lost most of my friends over it. I know that the reason so many people have drifted away from me has been because of specifically that. People think that we're judgey and preachy and stuck up. Really, he's all of those things and I'm the one, doing like what you said Stevie does - and just following behind Sam and licking his wounds, whether or not they're just on his ego. I'm mostly hurt that he yelled at me and wouldn't even consider it. Who knows, maybe I'd have flaked out anyway. But, the flat out refusal just feels like betrayal."

Whenever they were heading out of the house, Stevie caught them right outside of the door, "Sooo… I know I can only get a one-sided version from Cheri, so… What happened earlier?" He asked. Mercedes bit her lip, but Jane, was swift and clear, as always.

Jane replied, "Mercedes made the mistake of asking Cheri what her opinion was on something while Cheri was on her bullshit." She was still mad.

Stevie sighed and nodded, understandingly. "Well… She's going through a lot right, now. So… If y'all could please, please, please just go easy on her?"

"We did. Always do," Jane said. "Generally, because you'll ask everyone to do it, whether or not it's what she deserves."

Stevie narrowed his eyes suspiciously and asked Jane, "Are you doing it right now? Because your nostrils are flared, your eyebrows are diving, and your lips are pursed to infinity…" Now, she laughed. "I know, she's tough to talk to when she's not being reasonable, but I can't let my wife be crying in her own house because of something somebody said to her."

"She was crying?" Mercedes asked.

"She said that y'all called her a house… N word…?"

Jane sighed, "I didn't say that _to_ her. And I actually said that what she said was, well, reminiscent of one."

Mercedes corrected her, "No… No, Jane said that Cheri was considering us field N words."

"Even less name-calling to her sensibilities," Jane added.

"We don't use that word in the house, at all. It doesn't even get to be in the music," Stevie reminded her. "She's always been especially sensitive about that word in particular. I've said stuff to her that honestly, afterwards, I was like - how did she not punch me in the nose? But, nothing makes her more upset than that word."

Jane leaned in and whispered, "The grandmother used to use it, despite having a black husband, son and grandchildren. Go figure."

"She's such a bitch," Stevie said, shaking his head. Mercedes gasped. Stevie added, "I hate her the most! She's the worst. She's one of those racist white liberals who says that they're politically liberal but fiscally conservative…" Jane and he both had straight faces about that information. "But… How did y'all get on even a subject where Cheri being… non confrontational about race even came up, though?"

"Mercedes is trying to be an activist and Sam put his foot down and told her no way. Cheri thinks he has the right to demand that his wife sit on her hands while she hears the horrors of the genocide of her people."

Stevie gasped and looked at his shorter sister-in-law, "Dear God. Mercedes. No. Just… let it go. The rest of us will do enough for you and us, okay?"

"I thought you were taking a break?" Mercedes said. "I thought _both_ of you were taking a break! You two are telling me to sit down and be a safe little blind girl while you take on the risks, even though you're both worn out by your own impassioned efforts…"

"Well, I wasn't even thinking about that, but it's a good point. You _are_ blind," Stevie said, "And I mean, we're taking breaks, but not gonna stop living and this is a huge chunk of our lives. All I meant was that Sam is very committed to keeping his hands clean and I can't imagine how much of an unbearable asshole he would be if YOU were getting yours dirty. He couldn't even handle it when it was me and I'm not even close to him. AC and I were wondering if somebody found out about St. James or something the way he was avoiding this work."

Jane was going to refute Mercedes' claim that she was telling her to sit down and be safe, but she was more distracted by that last little bizarre piece of information that Stevie had used, and her brain wasn't pulling up an adequate reference. "What about St. James?" Jane asked, curiously.

Mercedes offered, "That Sam used to have a really messed up relationship with him that will never leave his system." Jane looked at Stevie to read his response to that cover. He looked blank. Too blank. He was purposefully blank. Jane nodded her head, raised an eyebrow and looked Stevie up and down. She knew that dude, after years of watching Mason and him get closer and a year of him living in her guest room on and off - a room that was made into a guest room almost specifically for him. She gave him a look to let him know that she wasn't fooled, just now.

"We're heading off," Mercedes said and gave Stevie a hug. Jane shook his hand and was still eyeing him suspiciously. He smiled and waved and went inside of the house. Jane didn't bring things back up, but she knew that was the slip of the tongue and Mercedes' cover was weak as hell. Whatever. This family was messed up.

.

When Mercedes came into her home, she went immediately to go check on the children. They each gave her hugs and Heaven asked, "Are you okay, Mommy?"

"Yes, I am. Mommy is good," she told him. He closed his eyes and touched her face. She smiled at him and when he touched her smile, he opened his head and nodded.

"I've seen it both ways, now. I believe you."

She passed by Sam's office on her way to the bedroom and began to gather up clothes to wash up and change when she heard him behind her. "Sam?" She called. He hugged her from behind and she touched his hands, gently.

"I was really wrong to speak to you the way that I did. I know that you sometimes get really excited about new adventures, then you just move forward with them and usually, it's something that seems kinda impossible, but turns out good for you - like the blog, the podcast, and then the show. I've been praying about it. I _want_ to support everything that you set out to do. I want to always tell you that you can do anything and back you up for additional help… But… Heaven came to talk to me. He said, 'You hurt Mommy's feelings by yelling and I don't like to see something like that. I don't like Mommy hurt or her feelings hurt." Baby…" He turned her around, so that he could look at her face to face, "You becoming more bold about all of this is definitely a shot at not just me, but our children having to see you hurting. If… You'll not make any immediate decisions and let me pray on it some more, for the confidence to support you, please?"

"Okay… But… Try not to make me wait too long before I know where you stand. I have a huge platform and there are a lot of people out there hurting while I'm not using it to help them out. My people…" He pressed his forehead to hers, then kissed her on the lips. "Sam… If you can't support me, the walls that we've built up around us, that we've built inside of, what happens to them?" He thought for a while. "Because, it seems like to me that everything inside of them will come crashing down…"

"No pressure," he joked and cupped her face.

"Only pressure. I can't stop feeling this way. How can I make it stop?"

He sighed and shook his head, "I don't know. Maybe, I already did the damage earlier, with how I talked to you… But, I will spend every waking second rebuilding whatever I demolished…"

She nodded her head, waved her clothes wadded in her hand in the air and said, "I'm going to go wash up."


	8. The Rue

_I just read when Matt and Aphasia first met. I put myself in feelings and honestly, I probably should've given them a little more scene time previously. I do have a good bit of Steerio in this update, but honestly, it's a Phatt chapter. I'm a little behind on editing, so the Easter one won't be up probably for another week._

 **The Rue**

Stevie and Cheri sat in the bathtub, with his arms around her and her eyes closed. He kissed her shoulder and she smiled. "I'm thinking about finally cutting my hair," he said.

"Oh thank God! I didn't want to tell you, because it wasn't my body, so not my rules. I hate it like that. You look like a damn bum."

"Well, damn!" She laughed and he did too. "Well, then I'm certainly cutting it off, now. I was trying to give you my best attempts at MCU's Bucky Barnes, since you get all wet with desire every time he's on screen." She cackled. "Okay. Well, mission failed and message received."

"Well, it's not like my head looks any better at the moment."

"Your head looks beautiful. You could pull off anything. And with Black Panther being so hot right now, you can easily get away with this look. My baby's in the Dora Milaje."

"What is with you and these Marvel movie references?"

"It is March."

"Marvel Marathon March… Are you still doing that?"

"It was cut short last year and this year it was delayed, so I guess not. But… We've got another movie coming up next month. The one that we've been waiting for."

"I've literally only waited for the one with the black people in it and I saw it already." She knew that she was going see whatever he was talking about, too. Him and his freakin movies, especially these Marvel movies. She should have invited him along to the premiere that she was allowed to go to, but they were still in a weird place. Hell, they were presently in a weird place. Le sigh. She turned and kissed him, "I am getting out…" She tried to get up, but groaned as she struggled to gain the energy..

He quickly said, "I'll get out first and I'll help you out," and did so.

She blushed. "I can't even explain how exhausting it can sometimes be to do the simplest of things, when I've been tired or sore."

"I'll never stop being guilty that you've had to know what that feels like…"

"I didn't say that so you could feel guilty. I really want to share with you everything that was going on, but not if it's going to make you feel bad."

"Sorry. You're right, This isn't about me. It's about you. It's going to be about you, even after you make it through this…"

She reached up to kiss him on the cheek and went into the bathroom while he searched for his clippers. She was in a nightie, in bed with her current notepad, writing when Stevie came out of the bathroom with his head clean shaven. "Stevie!" she said and put her hand over her chest. "What?"

He climbed in bed and rubbed the top of her head, "I know it doesn't look as good on me, but I didn't want you to feel alone. I don't want you to ever feel that way again."

She rubbed her hands across his head and told him, "You realize that you look like a Nazi right now, right?"

"HOW? I look like a bald. A bald, handsome white man…" She laughed and pulled him close to cuddle him. He laid back on her chest and she wrapped her arms around his and her legs around his back, like she was going piggybacking, but they were laying down. "If Mercedes gets into all that stuff… You'll keep an eye on her, right?"

"I'm trying not to be in the middle of that, but if we're just talking defending her right to fight however she feels capable of contributing, definitely. Always. Just like I defend your right _not_ to."

"She at least had the right idea. She sat down with Sam when they generally have their Monday meeting to discuss date night, daycare updates and such."  
"They have a meeting for that?"

"It's a good idea. It keeps them sure to make time for at least general communication. Which, as you know… Can make or break things…" She picked up the handled mirror on her nightstand and checked to see that her headwrap was secured.

He lifted her free hand to his mouth and kissed it. "I can't believe that we're back together… I keep expecting to wake up and be in my RV, hearing my phone go off and realizing that it was just a dream again." He shuddered thinking about how often this happened to him over the past year. She simply wrapped both arms around him as he laid back onto her.

"In your dreams, I would have cancer?" She asked.

He cradled her hand in his arms, "Not so far, but I've had really bad dreams about you dying before, so I guess, I could."

"Me dying? Damn, why…?"

"Probably because somebody's always threatening your safety."

"That's honestly behind us. Every black woman that I know gets harassed on social media for daring to even be here and be black. I get typical black woman star threats, I think," she lied. She never said things to him like, 'You brought on more backlash to my life.' Instead, she just expressed how much she didn't want him doing the things.

"I don't want you getting _any_ threats. Losing you was hard enough when it was my decision, but I think inside of me - I knew that as long as you still were in love with me, even if we weren't together, you were still mine. Whenever all the rumors started coming out about you possibly dating your co-star and I popped in to bring the kids stuff… I did it just to look you in the eye and gauge whether you were with that guy or not. You were harder to read. I could tell you were hiding something, but when I congratulated you for getting out into the dating world, for that quick moment, you were hurt and offended; I knew that you weren't dating. And, even if we never got back together, I knew that if you started dating, you wouldn't be over me."

"Ever," she said. "You never get over your first love, do you?"

"Sure, you do. You just can't get rid of their memory, because memories of them are packed with lessons, too. All of our relationships are."

"What about you? When we apart… Did you date?" She asked, trying to read him from behind him. He took the mirror from her and set it aside, shaking his head.

"I… coped without you around." _So, yes._ "I wasn't celibate, but I was careful." She frowned, but she had been the one to make him leave and had promised herself when this inevitably came up that she wouldn't give him a hard time about it.

"Still in touch with your coping methods? Might need to keep them on retainer, in case of emergency."

"It wasn't like _that._ It was, I suppose typical early twenties hookups, except AC drew up nondisclosure agreements for me."

"So… The farthest thing from typical?"

"Typical for public figures, I guess. I still am unsure of how that even happened. I hate publicity."

"Not enough to shut up," she said. He turned and looked at her, to which she smiled and rubbed a hand across his bald head. "When I met you, I couldn't get you to open up, now you're not quiet to save your life."

"Your fault for making me open up."

"What are you going to say when they ask you about this new do?"

"Oh - I am going to be refocusing some of my efforts on cancer while I take a break from the other stuff. Just going to pawn it off as a solidarity decision… One that whether or not you feel comfortable telling people about what you're dealing with, we can at least agree that this is something that we can both support." Besides parenting, Cheri couldn't remember the last time that she and Stevie were on the same page about supporting something. Nisha and Papa Dwight's wedding maybe? Nope. Stevie kept making jokes about how Mama T could "do better" to the point that Cheri got convinced that he wasn't joking at all. So, just the kids, really… and now this.

"That seems like a good usage of my time, but they'll ask 'Do you know someone living with cancer?'"

Stevie quickly answered, "We all know someone living with cancer, someone who has lived through it, was brought to rest by it or we will, before our time here is through…"

"You are so skilled at this," she said. "I just laugh uncomfortably and make jokes about how I'm just trying to get an autograph from somebody else on the roster before the day is over." She rubbed her side.

"You okay?"

"Please, don't do that. Every pain and discomfort I have isn't an issue…"

"Right, I know. But, I care about you, so I like to know that you're gonna be alright."

"I am gonna read my book until I fall asleep. Can you hit the big light?" He nodded and got up to turn it off, while she stuck to her nightstand lamp. Stevie cuddled into her side and fell asleep shortly afterwards. The last thought he had was how much easier it was for him to sleep when he had her there, with him. If only it were easier for her to sleep…

.

Stevie woke up, first to crying and jumped up, alert the moment he realized it was Cheri. "What happened? What's wrong?" He asked, glancing at the TV at some closing credits.

"This woman had cancer and she tried to get a new girlfriend for her lover before she died and she died before they even got a chance to be married, and…"

"Why?" He asked and picked up the controller to turn it off, "Why would you watch something with any kind of synopsis like that?"

"I guess I was curious. This has taken over my thoughts, my practices, and everything. I'm not just living with this, Stevie… I'm not getting better. That means that it's killing me. I'm slowly dying. Have you processed that? No. How can you when I didn't give you the chance to do it?" She wailed and he gathered her closely and rubbed her shoulder.

"Let me just thumbs this down. Ad a matter of fact, I am gonna look up everything that has cancer in it and just thumb it all down. And all of the medical shows, too. Just in case. No more Grey's. No more Grey's, for you, huh? Dr. McSexy or whatever gotta go…"

"The McDoctors have both died…"

"All the doctors gotta go. No doctors, no meds, no cancer. Not on this account."

"I don't _want_ to die. I know that I don't have much to live for, but I don't want to die. I remember when all I wanted was to die. Then, I went and fell in love, had kids, got married, had more kids… I don't want to die! What if they can't remember stuff about me? What if they only have interviews and shows to remind them of what I look like? I need more time to make the mark on them that my mother failed at…"

"I would never let them forget you…" Stevie said. She was slightly pleased, slightly bothered that he didn't lead with 'You're not going to die.' It was one of the scariest thoughts that she had - the thought that maybe he would be convinced that she would live, then she would die and he wouldn't be able to do and be what the kids needed after her dying. She wanted to give him more credit, but she also wanted to be mourned. Nobody should completely overlook their kids after such a death, but she wanted him to at least have it interrupt his life. Then, she felt guilty for that. "They'll always know you the same way that I knew you - as this person who everyone underestimated, and yet she put her mind to anything that she had her heart set on and she succeeded at everything she attempted, unless literally physically impossible. I'll tell them that she suffered a lot, and still smiled. I'll tell them that when she smiled the biggest and the most was for them and because of them. I'll tell them that when she found out that she might have to leave them, the hardest part wasn't even how sick she was or how much pain she was in… it was having to leave them and be separated from them. I'll tell them, she loved y'all even more than she loved me - and that's saying a lot, because she loved me so much that she would rather hurt than to see me hurt… even if I wanted to do the same for her." She sobbed and sniffled. "I';l tell them she snotted all over me…" She laughed and a huge snot bubble came out. "I'ma say, boy - was she snotty…"

"Shut up!" She snorted and he reached for the box of tissue on the nightstand that he just now noticed was even there… How often did she cry in the bed? He wiped her face off, her residue off of himself and held her closely. "How are you feeling?" She asked, quietly.

"Like every single moment counts and I've already wasted enough of them," he responded, pretty quickly. It made her start crying again.

.

The things that the sensational stories rarely mention when they are regularly recycling stories of black death and state sanctioned murders are the first 48, family and friends edition. 1. The moment that a loved one realizes that they are seeing their friend die, on display for the rest of the world. 2. All of the stages of grief, in tandem and synchronized as you try to gather your wits about you to check out this information, for yourself. 3. A rationalization that something else must have happened, but simultaneously knowing that there _is_ no other rational possibility. 4. The sense of dread that you know will never go away, from the moment that it even shows its face. 5. Trying to contact everyone else when you can't contact the person that you know to now be dead, no matter how surreal it is for you… And all of the other range of emotions, reactions, and obligations that they have to now deal with.

Matt wanted to be able to deal with his feelings, but he didn't have time. Andrea was a public figure, and he was an even bigger public figure. He couldn't have gotten away from it all, if he wanted to. With all of the work and energy that both of them would put into others who this happened to, the only thing that he knew for sure was that he certainly couldn't take any steps back for this.

What he had to do instead, unlike with the death of his family, where he wandered around sadly and trying to figure out what to do and let Mr. St. James intercede on his behalf for most of the accomodations was to be that intercessor for Andrea's parents, be the man that he usually was for victims of this type of murder, AND do everything that he could to help his own house sort through the muck.

Aphasia was the most visibly hurt. Mattie had not been able to process it. He was only 2 and Andrea lived far enough away that he had not seen her everyday in person. He would ask to call her sometimes. Phai wondered how long before he forgot about those at least weekly calls from his GM.

Stevie had been around to help out almost nonstop, but the moment that his wife was back around, he just left them in the dust. That was how she felt. She understood. That boy had been whining about Cheri for a good year or so, so if his foot was back in the door, she had to just support that, but it was hard AF to start going through all of this without that additional presence and assistance.

It once was that every time he picked up or dropped off the children, he'd make this post about how wonderful, strong, beautiful etc his wife was, Aphasia supposed that was either because he'd forget for a bit while they were apart and remember it all when he saw her. Of course, it was just as likely that they were trying to keep up appearances. Because all of the "I love how much you love your wife! #Goals" and heart eyes emojis that were usually in the comments were never corrected or deleted.

But now, their communication was mostly texting, sometimes a group chat and sometimes a video group call. Matt had been sending him some things to do via computer, as he had divided the things that he would normally send to Dre to Stevie and Jane, as well as whoever he was trying to get to fill in for Andrea (he was rotating and observing different people for the job. He wanted to just pass it on to Jane and Stevie, but since both of them were stepping away at the same time, he gave them the most sensitive material and gave others more general things.

"Can you imagine somebody having to learn me well enough to work as closely with me as Dre did?" Matt had asked when the four of them were on group chat, speaking about this arrangement. They both felt that he had a point.

After someone that he once considered to be a very close friend was found out to be a part of the plot to kill his family, the only friend he had was Andrea. He respected and cared about a few other people as well, but as far as familiarity in close and frequent spaces - there were very few people who fit the bill. Jane still wasn't convinced that she actually did! She thought that it was only because she was the last free person to see Andrea alive that he had tethered some type of importance to her that she was not really due. And Stevie had been vying for this kind of Matt for well over a year now, so he wasn't going to turn this down and he wasn't going to fuck it up.

Aphasia knew that Matt would have asked her to do it if he wasn't o worried that then she might be in more danger and honest to God, if he lost _her…_ everything would just come to an abrupt halt. It would have to.

Mattie was usually asleep by 6:00 pm. Aphasia had decided that she might take him to church for Easter Sunday. She had never really been much of a religious person. She went to a Catholic school, but that wasn't even the denomination of her parents, when they _did_ pop into church, so she knew that she was simply at the school for the ice skating program. She could hardly believe that she was trying to go to the olympics when Jesse and the others changed her life forever. That was something that she felt like she and Cheri had in common. Surely, not to the same extent. Cheri had an injury. She had PTSD. But, it happened around the same age for them (though years apart, as Aphasia was older. Also, for many years to come, Cheri had a plate full of trauma and trouble - stuff that Aphasia honestly had not had to know ever since meeting Matt.

 _He had gotten attached to her before she had gotten attached to him, and when he got attached, he honestly told her that he didn't have the time or energy to be playing around. She had moved to Santa Fe, NM with her best friend, Sebastian, to start over after her kidnapping. By the end of the Schuester trials, Matt had property in Santa Fe, and basically paid her way for any and every trip where they met up to spend time together._

 _She began to travel with him more and more, until honestly - she realized that even if they weren't spending time together or all up under each other, they had always been together for a really long time. Everybody called them a couple and they never corrected anybody, despite the fact that they had never had a conversation about it. They knew they loved each other. They knew who had their back, They knew who was theirs and whose they were. So, she moved into his place._

" _We'll have a lot more money for vacations and stuff with you doing this. This is a good idea," he said as she was unpacking the couple of boxes of stuff that she had brought with her. After he said that, she wondered if he thought that she was just volunteering to move in or if that was his way of asking._

" _What do you mean, Homie?" She asked._

" _You moving in here instead of your place with Sebby," he said._

" _You want me to move in?" She confirmed._

 _He gave her a perplexed look, "You live here, anyway."_

" _But, I pay rent there. Our lease isn't up, I wouldn't do that to him, even if I could."_

" _Well, if you want to move in, I'll pay the rest of your rent until the end of the lease and in the meantime, Sebastian can look for a new roommate, if he needs to…"_

" _You want me to move in," she repeated - a statement this time. He just smiled. That had been almost six years ago._

 _Two years later, it was a proposal. It all felt right. Matt was one of those types who liked for numbers to be significant. So, the moving in, the proposal, and the wedding were all on the same day - their "anniversary," despite the fact that there wasn't an official date that they had started seeing each other. "There was an official date! The day that I told you that I wasn't going to play games!" He knew he was all in, so their anniversary became April 2nd. He wanted to talk to her the previous day, but if she had mistaken it for an April Fool's Day joke, he would have been highly irritated._

 _Two years after the proposal, one year after the wedding, they had a son. Not the exact date, but not for Matt not trying. Biology disagreed with Matt's divine plan. But, Aphasia was able to smooth him over with the suggestion that they take the maternity photos on April 2nd, not even yet knowing that Mattie wasn't coming a moment before the 20th._

 _They decorated the nursery with their engagement photos, wedding photos, maternity photos, and a couple of their individual family photos. Neither of them were the "cutesy" type, but both - extremely sentimental. So, they went with "Your Family Tree, Our Legacy," and got some tree typed decorations, when there wasn't plain white or gold and mahogany furniture._

 _Andrea asked, "What are you birthing? A baby businessman with a flight to an international conference? This boojie ass nursery looks like an office at a self help clinic." She wrote on the wall, "Auntie Dre wuz here 4/19/16" and a doodle of a tongue out smiley face. It had pissed Aphasia off SO MUCH, but now, she kept looking at it and touching it…_

Now, upcoming were her anniversary, Mattie's birthday and the fact that 4/19/18 would see no Andrea for him… She couldn't even cry anymore. She was momentarily out of tears. She knew they'd return, but she had low periods and numb periods and angry periods for about a month, now.

 _Matt's voice, "Dre was just murdered online… I have to work, probably late…"_ Low period. _She just wanted to comfort him and to console him. He wouldn't even_ let _himself have feelings, yet, because they were going to distract him. But, they were there. She even overheard him speaking to Miracle, his baby sister. She couldn't help but wonder if this grief was causing him to see her again. Everything was so bad. Jane was out of it, with Mason constantly around to try to be supportive, but not really knowing what to do to help anyone. Stevie was the only person who was there who was helping._

 _She contacted friends to let them know the things that Matt didn't have time for. Stevie handled most of the online things, and went over details with security very tirelessly._

 _Aphasia and Sam exchanged texts, and he called once to check on her, but then kept his distance._

 _After the rally he missed, she texted him the last text she planned to ever send him: We would have been there for you._ Angry period.

 _Now, the funeral had passed, Stevie's birthday thing, and spring had come. She didn't feel any renewal, rebirth, or have any epiphanies of any sort._ Numb period.

.

Aphasia and Stevie had just gotten off of the phone when Matt came into the bedroom, "Phai, I know that you won't want to hear this but, I'm sorry that I didn't make anniversary plans this year."

"You're right. I don't want to hear that you're sorry when you've got nothing to be sorry about." She reached out to him and he met her hand with the tips of his fingers and sat down. "I figured, as long as you take some time to just relax, that's the best gift for me."

"Oh, I already got your gift, so that won't be happening."

"Get me two gifts, then. I ain't too proud to beg." He chuckled, but her stare was straight and real.

He compromised, "I'll take the day off, dassit."

"I didn't want to bring this up, but in the past few weeks, I've heard you talking to Miracle…" He frowned and sighed, then laid his head on her lap. "Is she here?"

"Not right now. It's not the same, Phai. She's just helping me cope this time."

"I'll try to do that, if you let me."

"You're the only living person in this world who could. You're the reason that I was able to cope the first time and you'll be with me on this journey too. It's just… Andrea and you were friends before you and I were. Even though we both knew her and she was my sister, you and she were close, too. I'm not about to have you pulling that kind of emotional labor for me. You have your own coping to see through."

"I do. I also have a husband whose feelings matter to me. Nothing is unthinkable, when it comes to you."

"I won't take advantage of your willingness to do for me just because it's available to me…"

"You are so frustrating, sometimes. Let me love you, Negro." He laughed and she felt teardrops on her thigh. "I know, we talk really hard talk about how we're movements by ourselves and a force when we're together… Matter of fact, we might want to switch that up in light of recent events…"

"I think we can get away with it because technically Ne-yo sings that part," Matt observed, already understanding her reference.

"I know, but…"

"You're right. But, go on."

"You need me right now, and that's okay. I let you know when I need you," she said.

"Know what I'm thinking about? If we have a daughter, and I going to have to try to convince you into naming her Miracle, or Andrea. Those are the kinds of thoughts that I have. Which of my dead do I cherish the most? And if I don't honor them this way, do I really even cherish them? Did I ever properly handle these deaths? Am I handling it properly, now?"

"You always do your best. Nobody can ask for more than your best and you're your own worst critic. You can't be trusted to answer these questions alone, because when you were alone with your thoughts, look at these questions that you came up with. Shoulda been asking, 'Is my wife really trying to push out another baby after Mattie got stuck and lost circulation?'"

"I honestly wouldn't even risk it. It was completely hypothetical. I thought you were going to die, and we both know that I couldn't handle that then and I especially can't handle it now. That would be it. That would be the last straw. Everything inside of me would break."

"I mean… I'm going to die eventually. I think you'll handle it better than you imagine. I believe in your strength. I've _seen_ it, for myself. I know it… Also, I was joking. I do want to have another baby. Mattie's about to be two, for real…"

"When did we start calling him two?"

"When he got terrible!" She joked. "Honestly, he wasn't far enough away to be all mathematic about it and 'about to be two' was a lot, especially for all that we've had going on. We can start on baby #2 on his second birthday. I know you like stuff like that."

"We can start on baby #2 on THE SECOND, because that's our anniversary, and you know… Kinda pretty much my favorite day of the year. Even though I am usually working on all of our anniversary trips. It's all pretty tiring, but with Jane taking a break and Stevie and Andrea being gone… I _can't_ take a break right now. De'Wanda's made bail and I have my legal team on it, but I need to see her face to face and check on her, hug her neck, give her everything that Dre would have wanted her to have and see…"

"I get it. You care about everybody else more than you care about yourself. But, I will need you to remember that _I_ care about you, more than everybody else. More than they care about you, and more than you care about them. What did you tell Stevie when he said he was taking a step back? "Put that woman first."

"What are you asking me to do?"  
"Not push it too far. You're a god in bed, but baby, you're human, okay?"

He turned over and looked up at her. "Keep talking like that, and I'm depositing a baby, today."

"My body is ready…"

He sat up, "So funny - when we met, you didn't even want this. When we got together, you weren't interested in marriage or family. You didn't even want a man."

"I don't want a man, now!" she joked.

"Okay. Then, never speak to me or my son again…"

She laughed and crawled deeper into the bed, "Is that your final response? Because I was gonna say that I wanted the god in you... You know the one…"

Matt looked over at an empty space, then smiled, "Actually… I want to try to wrap up a few things before the 2nd, so that I don't have anything bothering me…"

"Yeah. Whatever you need, Love." He got up and left the room. She sighed. _What the hell was she thinking? This man has been worrying about his life's work falling apart with the death of his oldest and dearest friend. He wasn't trying to do this with her right now…_ Low period.

.

Matt rushed from the bedroom and went to his office, shutting the door behind him, "Why are you all here?" He asked his family. "Miracle is one thing but now, this is getting to be a lot. Why are you doing this to me? Why am I doing this to myself?"

"You don't love yourself, enough," his mother said. He shook his head. That wasn't true. He was selfless, sometimes to a fault, but he definitely loved himself. He loved his life. He loved his wife and child. "You have never actually loved anyone, have you, Matty?"

"Don't call me that. I don't go by that anymore. Nobody ever called me that but all of you and now, we call my son that…"

"Matthew, you need to learn how to let go. You need to learn how to love," his father chimed in.

"Why are they saying this?" He asked himself. "I need a nerve pill. That's it. I need a nerve pill and to just calm down…"

"Are you trying to replace me, Matty?" Miracle asked. "Do you love Andrea more than you loved me? Did you forget about me? About working and fighting in _my_ name?"

He rushed out of the office and shut the door behind him. Aphasia and Mattie were outside of the door and looked at him curiously.

"Why Daddy crying?" Mattie asked her.

Aphasia stepped forward, but Matt waved his hands in front of him, "No! No, do not come near me! I am serious. Stay over there and leave me be…" He leaned against the wall and Aphasia picked up Mattie and put him into his crib, then shut the nursery door and grabbed her phone. "Why are you all here? Why are you here?"

.

Stevie and Cheri finally planned on telling the children. Cheri had long since gotten material on how to explain it to kids, and even though most of them were too young to understand, they wanted them to be able to understand why Mommy couldn't do so many fun things with them anymore. For all of her trying, sometimes, she just physically could not pick herself up to do things and was really worried that they might take it the wrong wouldn't say anything about death, unless someone asked and even then, they wanted to keep it in a positive light as only a possibility and not inevitable with this situation.

Cowboy was anxious and almost as soon as they all sat down asked, "Are you getting a divorce?"

"No!" They both said, to which, he looked relieved. "No," Stevie added, "Mommy and Daddy were never getting a divorce, okay? But, no matter what happens to us, we both will always do everything for all of you." He rubbed him across the head and asked Cheri if she wanted to go first.

"As all of you know, Mommy hasn't felt very strong or very healthy in a while…"

"You're always sick and always sad. I thought that it was because you were missing Daddy and he was too busy to come home…" Cowboy said. Stevie winced. That stung like hell.

Cheri quickly corrected it, "No. Daddy wasn't at home because he had really important stuff to do and Mommy had other stuff to do too. But, what's been happening with me is in no way Daddy's fault. He didn't even know until recently and now, we're going to do our best to talk to all of you about it…"

She was talking for a little while when Stevie's phone went off and it was loud. He jumped and rushed to silence it, but stared at it for a moment and glanced at Cheri, who stopped talking to wait for him to get back. "Do you mind if I get this? It's an emergency."

"If it's really an emergency, they should call 911. This is kind of an emergency to me…" She didn't add, and now I have to reboot my emotional preparedness to do this.

"Okay," he said and went to change it to silent when Aphasia called again and he pushed the green phone. "Oh. Shit…" He gave Cheri an apologetic look as Aphasia was calling his name through the phone. "Yeah. Yeah, hey… It is really not a good time. I accidentally answered while I was trying to put it on silent…"

"Matt is having some kind of breakdown. He's talking to his family. He's hyperventilating. He won't let me near him…"

"Call 911."

"US? Are you serious? You know that I can't! Please, Stevie. I'm sorry, but please, I need you right now."

Cheri covered her face with both hands and shook her head. "What is even happening right now?" Cowboy asked, looking between the both of them.

Cheri said softly, "I think something urgent came up and Daddy has to go, but it's okay, I can do this by myself."  
"You look really sad and really sick, Mom. Are you sure you're okay?" Sheva asked.

Stevie got off of the phone and Cheri got up and went over to him, "I've lost control of the room. They're panicking now. Are you leaving, or not?"

"Could I?" he asked. "Matt's having some kind of PTSD episode or something, like worst than any that he's ever had before and they can't call 911 because there's no telling who they might send. He could be killed. I wouldn't leave right now, but it's kinda life or death."

"Unbelievable," Cheri said. "Kinda life or death? It's _possible_ that something might happen? For me, it's undeniable, and we both know it! That was the entire purpose of this, to prep them without actually saying it. Just… go. You're going to do what matters most to you and I can't change that, no matter what happens to me. I never wanted to have to make you choose, so I'm choosing, because I can't fight for my life and fight for you at the same time. Just, go be where you're needed. I planned on doing this alone, anyway, the moment you left."

"You don't have to fight for me and I'm not going anywhere. I've already made that mistake. There is _nothing_ more important to me than you!" She was crying and shaking her head.

Cowboy now yelled, "What is going on, Dad?" Cheri tried to wipe her face and went to go give him a hug and calm him down. "Your nose is bleeding again," he whispered, sniffling.

Sterling, who had never seen one of her nosebleeds before (or any for that matter) let out a high pitched scream and Cheri put her head back and rubbed his shoulder, "It's okay. It's okay. I just need some ice. It's not as bad as it looks…" She got up to try to tend to it and Stevie followed. "Stay with them!" She snapped.

Cowboy asked, "Daddy, while Mommy's gone, can you just be straight with us? She's not going to be able to do it. She likes to think that she can make everything sound nice and sweet and good. She thinks that I don't understand what I see. I heard y'all talking. Is Mommy gonna die?" Charmaine looked confused and Sheva began crying and repeated the question.

Stevie did his best, "Mommy has an illness. It is something she has been trying to get rid of, but it's only gotten worse. She's sicker than when she first got it and she's really scared and in a lot of pain. But, she doesn't want any of you to be scared. She's doing everything she can to get better."

"But, is she gonna die?" Sheva repeated.

"I hope not, Sweetheart."

Sherwood looked like for the first time in the conversation, he realized what was being discussed, "Wait… But, she might? Like your dog? Where we never get to see her again?"

Charmaine gasped and was going to start crying too. Sterling beat her to it. Everybody was crying except for Stevie and Cowboy, and only because they felt like they shouldn't be doing so. They both wanted to, a lot.

"Cowboy, you need to let out any tears, Buddy?" Stevie asked. Cowboy shrugged his shoulders, but was also losing the fight not to cry.

Cheri came back in and her lip dropped. Stevie looked up at her. "What did you do?" She asked.

"Daddy said that you might die!" Sheva wailed. Cheri held her hands out and shook her head. Stevie tried to explain what happened, but she just placed a hand up to stop him and went to try to console the children and reinforce what the talk _should have, could have, would have_ been about, if Stevie hadn't saw fit to answer a phone call during what was going to be the first hardest talk that they had ever had with their children. Her anger about that was magnified by the children's inconsolable reactions.

.

Aphasia was happy to see Shane and Anthony. "Hey!"

"Stevie texted. Said he just couldn't make it. What do you need us to do?"

"I gotta get him up and to a doctor, but he won't let me near him. I can't tell if he knows it's me and wants me to be safe or if he thinks I'm somebody else trying to harm him. I've had Mattie trapped in his nursery for half an hour and even slid him a paper bag and tried to get him to breathe into it, but he's just… gone, right now…"

Matt was still bretahing heavily when Shane approached, and trying to push him away, but Shane grabbed the paper bag and said, "I gotcha man. I gotcha. I gotcha. You're alright, Man." He put the bag to Matt's face, despite his struggling and he noticed that he was able to breathe better and stopped fighting.

He calmly leaned back and finally made eye contact with Aphasia. She was crying. He was supposed to be better for her. If he really loved her, he wouldn't pull her into his messes. She rushed over and cupped his face, "Are you okay?"

"Do you see them? Do you see her?" He was looking right at Andrea, blue in the face and unsure if that wasn't why he himself couldn't breathe.

"We're going to get you help, you hear me? We're going to get my beautiful, strong, brilliant man whatever help that he needs."

"I don't deserve you. Everybody that I love dies. Every time I care, something else happens."

"Okay. But, we're still going to get you help." She looked at Shane, "Can you stay with Mattie? I want to try to get him checked into the hospital as soon as possible."

"Of course."

She and Anthony helped Matt up and Matt let her hold his hand, now. He was crying. "It's okay. I'm here. They aren't. We're going to help you to remember that, okay?" He shrugged his shoulders.


	9. The Revival

_Mannnnnn… That last chapter was so horribly edited, I was like, "Well bish, DID YOU EDIT it?" Lmao. Idk. I thought I did, but when I was scanning to see if I had mentioned something, I saw so many errors. Like, WTF? Man. Hopefully, I did better on this one. It was longer, but I had to end it somewhere! Dinner has to be in the next one. Jeesh._

 **The Revival**

Stacie needed a revival. She hated to admit it, but whenever Stevie was home, life was more stressful. It wasn't his fault. He didn't stress her out, just the situations. He always seemed to be at war with somebody, whether his own brother or his own wife and even though he and she were still 'good,' she knew that he didn't feel the same way about her that he used to.

They hadn't been as close every since she married Joe, which she felt was unfair, because he married someone that she loved and accepted and she couldn't understand why Stevie didn't repay that. Stevie always denied having something against Joe, but his attitude was more against the church and the faith than it was any one person, whether that be Sam, Joe… or her. He made comments about how judgemental they were, how most churches don't _really_ help anybody, and how multiple Christian organizations turned down sinners in need frequently if they aren't willing to convert. "But _we_ don't do that!" She'd insisted.

"Maybe you don't personally, but you align yourself with a very powerful movement that _does._ "

Later on, Dwight had said, "Stevie's just bein' a bastard." That was hardly helpful. Stacie just wished that she had a way to make her family great. Was it as dysfunctional as Mary had made it? No, but she wanted it to _feel_ like it did before she realized how toxic their mother was or before they realized that their father needed to grow as a person. Mary was gone, Dwight was a changed man, yet the family still was broken, and it wasn't Stevie's _fault,_ but things were less tense when he wasn't there.

She was concerned about Easter dinner. Their birthday dinner hadn't even been a month ago and that was an absolute mess. Stevie had mentioned at that time that Cheri was probably going to be with her Mom's family for Easter, but texted her that they probably weren't going to come at all, a few days ago. Stacie had meetings and practices to attend. She had care baskets to make, "Feed the Multitude" donations to pick up and other errands that she knew people would be calling her with. Mercedes wanted to come along, so she drove by there to pick her up and immediately knew that something was wrong. She was close enough to Sam and Mercy to know just when something wasn't right. She used to be that close with Cheri and Stevie, but things shifted after the TV stuff.

When they got into her truck, she wondered, "What happened with you two?"

Mercedes shook her head, "Bad argument. Heaven heard Sam yelling. Then, I accidentally fell out with Cheri. Now, I'm just waiting on a word from the Lord, I guess. Trying to figure out how to proceed next."

Stacie grimaced, "What in the world got Sammy yelling at you? That's not like him…"

"It's a long story. Basically, I want to do something that I feel is more meaningful with my life and he thinks that it's dangerous."

"More meaningful? Such ambition! All of the lives that you change and you still feel like you fall short of something?" Stacie asked. "Meanwhile, my only goals are to make an A on my lab and not to stumble when I do the Sunrise Service welcome."

"Right, but while that's what's affecting you personally, you still get to feed at least five thousand people with your fundraiser."

"That's for the church, though. It doesn't count as something that I did."

"You created it. The results are the fruits of your labor, and you run around, networking and speaking to contributors and donors about it. I can't do as much as a lot of people can. I'm aware that I don't have the same access to do a lot of these things, but I have the access to do this thing and Sam doesn't even want to address it, because he thinks it's too unsafe."

"What is it that you're trying to do? Maybe I can tag along and help you out, be your eyes?" Stacie offered.

"I want to make an intersectional social justice show, similar to my current show, but specifically for marginalized communities with heavy emphasis on black society." She took a deep breath. She had been practicing that pitch, just not for Stacie.

"That sounds like an excellent idea! Do you know how many people just want to have a conversation about these things and not have to actually get down in the dirt for it? You could be the person that they have these conversations with."

"I could also be targeted."

"You also have a heavenly hedge of protection around you and if anything _does_ happen as a result, your work would at least have been for good. That's what we all claim that we want our lives on Earth to be, don't we? I'm going to talk to him about this, because that's unfair and faithless for him to act that way. And _yelling_ at you? What is wrong with him?"

"He doesn't trust me to take care of myself anymore, I guess. Or, I don't know - maybe he doesn't trust this world. Maybe he's still afraid that someone from his past may reemerge. Honestly, why would they, at this point? Be straight with me.. Am I wrong to be upset about this whole thing?"  
"You're never wrong to be upset about something. Like I said, I am going to talk to him. He's at least reasonable."

Mercedes waited for the rest of the thought and when Stacie didn't say anything else, she asked, "What aren't you saying at the end of that sentence?"

"You heard it, huh? I was just gonna say unlike Stevie. What in the world is WRONG with him, these days?"

"He just lost a friend, and… I think that he and Cheri have been having problems. Heaven seems to think that they yell at each other a lot and don't spend time together."

"I'm almost certain that Stevie and Cheri haven't been living together. Some hints were dropped, but he never actually said anything. She looks awful, too. I mean not _awful,_ but not like herself. She looks haggard and tired or sick or something. She covers it up with makeup, but she just always seems sluggish and just out of it and I feel like she has a pill problem. That whole situation is just terrifying."  
"I can't imagine her having a pill problem with five children, especially if Stevie and her aren't living together."

"She once threw away everybody's meds. She has her moments of nonsense. She's definitely taking way more pills than her meds, and she's hiding them, so… That's why I presumed pill habit. I mean, she's a celebrity now. Who knows what kind of stuff she can get her hands on out there. Every time I try to talk to Stevie about things, he avoids it. Always just says, 'She's fine," or 'We're fine,' which as you know means everything BUT! I want my nieces and nephews in a healthy household and honestly, of the three of us being screwed up from our childhood, I think Stevie's the one who… didn't quite escape Mama's vitriol, you know. I think it's because of her death and the… what she got him to do right before… They're just really wonderful kids, but they seem kinda sad, sometimes. At least, they don't seem as happy as yours."

"I think that they are pretty happy kids! Maybe, you're projecting, because you're concerned for them? I know I haven't been around them as much as you, but at least Cowboy is very talkative, to me. I did notice that he's very mature and seems to take a lot of care of the others when their parents aren't around. I be like, just go have fun, I promise, we'll watch them. Told me, "You can't see, how can you watch them?" They both laughed now. "He's smart and a big boy. He'd tell somebody if something really bad was happening to them."

"When I was little, Mama and Daddy used to always say 'What happens in this house stays in this house,' and quite frankly, I can easily see Stevie adopting that mindset. On his Instagram, he'll share a photo of her with this very lengthy paragraph about how much good she brings into his world and all these accolades about her mothering and I don't know… He reminds me so much of when Mama would gas up Daddy in front of the church folk but whenever we were at home, she was obviously very clearly disgruntled with him and a lot of times with us. I think she looked at us and saw him and was just… disgusted, more often than not. But, she also didn't want us branching out, either. She wanted us all miserable with her…"

"That doesn't sound like Cheri or Stevie, though."

"Maybe not, but Stevie grew up like that and Cheri grew up with, I mean… Her mother worked her like a machine and never complimented her, always made her feel like she had to perform and succeed to even warrant her time and attention… And now those two people with those backgrounds have kids and no… body else there. I'm not there, Jake's not there."  
"They don't need y'all to help them raise their family. My quote unquote parents were overseers at a mental institution. That doesn't make me an unfit parent."

"That's not what I…"

"And if you recall, I have very similar issues as both Stevie _and_ Cheri, even though they have completely different issues. I get both of them…"

"I know. I didn't mean."

"This is honestly ableist and very disappointing, Stacie."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate. I just… lived with them both - one of them for many years and the other for a couple of years and I know them in a way that even those reality cameras couldn't pick up. My concerns are specifically about them as individuals and not solely their mental health or solely their childhoods. I'm using personal experience, my most current observations, and very minimal general psychology. It's not ableist when you're using specific knowledge of these people. I wasn't saying that this is how all bipolar and paranoid schizophrenic people operate when given something important. But, I _know_ both my brother and my sis. I've watched them do their dance in a place that I called home for a long time. " Mercedes sighed. Stacie did too. "We're here!" she cheered, after a while.

The rest of the journey was strained. It was hard to speak with Mercedes about this sometimes, as she internalized the things that Stacie said, when really - Stacie had never seen Mercedes exhibit her condition in even the slightest ways that Cheri and Stevie did openly. A few times, Mercedes accused her of considering her a token in mental illness, because she knew her at her most functional. It made her distrust her sister-in=law a little bit, because, "What _if_ you _do_ have to see me when maintaining my condition is at a low? Will you talk about me like this, too? Will you look at me differently? Always take it into consideration, every time you see me exhibit feelings, furthermore?" Stacie didn't have an answer. She liked to think that she would be fair and honest, but she could never tell. To think, she used to be able to tell Stevie where he was falling short of being progressive. Now, the terminology was booming and honestly, Stacie couldn't keep up with it all.

Stacie dropped Mercedes off at home and when she got to the church, she smiled at Sam and Joe, but kept doing her work, as they were both occupied. She wanted to interrupt just to "say hi" and cheerfully and casually tell her big bro to speak with her as soon as he got a chance, but the guest pastors from the community revival committee were there. Her father-in-law did it for her, "Is that my girl?" he asked and she smiled brightly and rushed in like a small child to hug Joe's dad and his grandfather, then went around the table as he bragged, "I know everybody knows my daughter-in-law, Stacie and all of the work that she's done over the years for my church and this one. This is her favorite time of year, too. Meanwhile, I'm just waiting on grandkids."

She laughed, blushed, gave Joe a glance as he smiled towards the table, not announcing that it wasn't for not trying - it just wasn't happening yet. "All in good time,

.

 _The first year that Life Church had their spring revival at the same time as "Easter weekend," many people, church ones included thought that it wasn't the best idea. People were going to be preparing meals for their families, and other things, going to Easter egg hunts, etc._

 _But, as Joe expressed at the time, "No church is for people who always have some place to go. Would we love for the members of the church to be able to make it? Of course! Will we deny everyone else the opportunity of the vision that I have for this is something else." He initially had the idea for his father's church when he was younger, but they weren't able to actually make it a thing for their congregation until he was an adult and did virtually most of the work himself to arrange it. Now, it was a tradition for their church and Joe wanted it in his current church and any church that he would ever be affiliated with in the future. Sam supported him from even the mention of it. Sam generally trusted that if Joe had an idea that it was God-inspired and going to be Spirit-filled. This was the reason that Sam asked Joe to come with him whenever he wanted to open a church._

 _Joe, Sam and ten other preachers got together to make the effort happen._

 _Thursday: Communion Commencement, in observation of The Last Supper._

 _They organized and sponsored a city wide dinner, meaning that at certain sites (including their churches), a first come/first served feast was given, marketed at homeless, those in shelters, people from certain neighborhoods, and crisis centers. Everyone was welcome to come, but the fliers and advertisements were spread in certain places and caterers were brought in, to the locations listed in the advertisements. Church members were asked to bring a dish if coming along. For unison purposes, each of the hosts at every location started out in a prayer and while they ate, recordings of the Gospel played in the background._

 _The Life Church Communion Commencement easily became one of Stacie's favorite days of the year, as Resurrection Weekend was her favorite time of the year, now. When Joe's family's church had done a similar styled Easter, it was already her favorite time, because of that. But now, on the scale that he was able to bring it to, it was her portion of heaven on earth. Now, she would be able to do this citywide and surrounding areas for however many years she was allowed to live, if this church continued its success._

 _After the supper, they usually had a closing prayer, for everyone still there and invite them back for tomorrow's event (with the disclaimer that it wouldn't be food for the body, but for the soul)._

 _Good Friday: The Road to Calvary Program & Fellowship_

 _This was a play/parade that depicted the journey of Jesus to his crucifixion. There was usually a team dressed up like the characters, a big following of people, serving as the crowd, and prayer team members, engaging with onlookers and bystanders, to minister, if necessary, or to just answer questions, as to not bother the crowd worshiping or those performing in the reenactment. Stacie was always one of those. She had the chance to speak with many people, often bragging that her husband had the vision for the church to do this weekend and passing out her discipleship business cards, in case they ever wanted to have someone to speak to about these and other things. When they got to the church, they met at the display of three crosses outside of the building and had a prayer and fellowship - just talking and being friendly. Guests were invited back for the next day's events._

 _Saturday: Prayer Walk and Seven Sayings on the Cross Service_

 _Starting at 7:00 in the morning, prayer teams would g0 around the community to offer prayer to others and invite them to the church service later or tomorrow. They passed out copies of the harmony of the gospels, spoke with anyone who was interested in salvation, and assisted with works, if someone happen to need something when they came across them._

 _At 7:00 pm, seven associate preachers from all over the area each did a sermonette on one of Jesus' last quotes, according to the Gospel recorded in the Bible and speak about why it was significant, as they believed everything that Christ said was significant._

 _Resurrection Sunday Sunrise Service:_

 _Every group in the church usually ministered. There was a play by the children, recitations, the dance teams performed, the church choir collective sang, and Sam preached the Easter sermon about the resurrection and what it means for us today._

 _Missionary Monday:_

 _Because Jesus' resurrection was only the beginning of what Christian faith stands for, they had one final night of the revival, the twelve preachers who organized the revival each preached about a disciple - what he was known for, what you could learn from him, and if known, what became of him._

 _The whole purpose of these sermonettes was because many people only come around for Easter Sunday and then go back to their regular lives, but in the Bible, the disciples' career as Christians began afterwards, and the Christian job was to follow in Christ's footsteps, not just to think about him one or two days a year…_

 _This year, since Sunday was April 1st, they were going to use Missionary Monday as a kickoff for Acts in April Bible Study - a month long focus on the book of Acts, for each of the different Bible study classes held at the church._

 _._

Well, Thursday went off without a hitch! It was bigger and better than the year, as per usual. Joe and Stacie spent more time at the church than at home, but they did most of this together (and unlike some couples, they had always worked extremely well together), and locked up after everything was all cleaned up and straightened out. "I am tempted to just get everyone to bring something for Easter supper, you know? It seems wrong to spend money on a caterer when we've been doing all of this fundraising and stuff for people who can't afford to eat and stuff. I just don't want to feel like I'm wallowing in my blessings," she said as they locked up.

"Well, I mean… It would be appreciating the things that you have and sharing them with your family. It's good. I am a little bit nervous about bringing House Hart and House Evans together, if I'm being honest. It's just two such different moods."

"I know! But this is the first Easter since you and I have been married that my entire family will be here, so I want it to be special…"

"Jake won't be here…" He reminded her. She frowned.

"Yeah, I'm sad about that, but he told me to move forward with it. 'I don't even celebrate that. I do Passover and I've found a really dope synagogue, so you don't have to worry about me spending my holidays alone in NYC.' He's _knows_ good and well that he's not going to any synagogue and that he and Bree will end up posting some kind of photos from some bar or something with the hashtag BreakinFromBWay." Joe opened the truck door and helped her in, then went around to the other side. She was just going to leave hers at the church for the weekend.

"Well, he tells those stories because he doesn't want his big sis to worry about him in the big city. Jake's a good kid. He's always been a good kid and he's fine on his own, but someone usually _wants_ him around. He'll probably be better cared for than us," Joe assured her.

.

Friday was a bit more tricky… tense, even. Stacie planned on doing her normal thing, but Mercedes wasn't around, so she wasn't sure if she was lost in the crowd or if she had found another escort. She spent a portion of time searching the crowd and calling her cell phone to try to figure out where she was. When she finally answered, Mercedes sounded sleepy. "Um, so… I take it that you _aren't_ lost in the Road to Calvary crowd?"

Mercedes gasped and said frantically, "Oh my God, Stacie, I am _so sorry!_ I had to take something to help me get to sleep last night. I suppose I thought Sam would have told you that I didn't leave with him this morning, but we're rarely taking the same ride, so he might not have thought about it. I should have messaged you of the possibility before I went to sleep."

"It's no biggie. Just glad you're okay. Well, let me get to it, then. I've spent enough time not doing what I came to do," she laughed awkwardly and Mercedes apologized again. "See you tomorrow, Sis." Stacie hung up, frustrated, but recited a little prayer to herself and went back to what she was used to. After that, it was smooth sailing. It went smoother than when Mercedes was there, but it felt different without her there and stuff still felt wrong, off with Mercedes. She wondered if the stuff with Sam was continuing into this weekend?

Mercedes climbed out of bed and called Sam. "Yes, Love?"

"Ummmm… You didn't get me out of bed or tell Stacie that I wouldn't be there?"

"Wait… You're not here? Where are you?" He asked.

"Getting out of bed!" she hissed.

"I didn't realize. Babydoll, I've been here since 5. You wouldn't have been up anyway. Usually, you walk here with the dogs, don't you?" he asked, putting his finger in his ear to try to hear her. "I guess I just presumed that you'd set an alarm and would just be doing your own thing." There was a hint of something in his voice that she couldn't identify, but she felt like it was lowkey shade.

"Well, I've missed it now. I guess I can meet everyone at the church for the fellowship service on the lawn. Can I get a ride home, or should I just do my own thing?"

"It's up to you," he said. Honestly, pissing her off, now.

"Okay, then," she said. "Love you."

"Love you too." She hung up and squealed in frustration. She had tried to talk to him again last night, and he had ended it with, "I really can't make time for that right now. It's a very important weekend, and you know this." SO, naturally, she was awake for many hours, stewing over this until she decided to down a little sleep aid. And now, this mini attitude that he had - she guessed because he thought she was going to bother him about this important thing that he didn't want to be bothered with… Wait. Where the hell were the kids? She called out to Heaven and went around the house, listening for them. Okay… so what, he was gone at 5, and took the kids _with_ him? She called him back and he didn't answer the first few times, but called her back after a while. "Hey!"

"Hey? What are you doing?" She asked.

"You… know this… I am walking the Road to Calvary and ministering…"

"Are the kids with you?" She asked.

"Of course," he said.

"Okay, so how are the kids with you but you said that you left at 5 am when you were being all snippy with me a little while ago?"  
"I wasn't being snippy, Babe. Sorry. I came back for the kids after you didn't show up."

"And you left me asleep! Like I'd said earlier, then you played it off like you didn't leave me asleep!"  
"You sound angry about me trying to let you get a little sleep and presuming that you were going to get up in enough time to meet up here…"

"Well, I don't have a voicemail that says that you have the kids or…"

"Hey, Love… Can we do this later? There are some people here that I don't want to miss an opportunity to minister to."

"Yeah," she said and hung up. She called Stevie, "Hey, bruh-in-law… You busy?"

He looked at Cheri asleep and wondered, "What's up?"

"Can you pick me up from the house? I gotta get out for a bit."

"I thought y'all had that whole neighborhood execution parade thing?"

"I'm missing it this year," she said.

"Well, it may take me a moment. Cheri's asleep and I'll have to grab the kids and Mattie."

"Excellent."

.

Stacie called Mercedes earlier on Saturday, to see if she was up and everything. "Hello?"

"Hey! We are doing the prayer walk, yes?"

Mercedes sighed, "Sorry, Stacie. I'm not," she said.

"Ok. Are you sick?" she asked.

"Uh, no. I don't want t0 do it. So, I'm not. But, thanks for checking on me, Sis."

Stacie turned red in the face and bit her lip, but kept her voice calm, "Okay, well… I wish that I had known that I wouldn't have my by 2 for the 2 by 2 ministry…"

"You're right, I'll come, feeling jaded and defeated and show the people that we're trying to win over for Christ that you can be Christian and miserable, but they should still sign up anyway?"

Stacie sighed, "Sorry. I didn't mean to push. Have you and Sammy talked? He's acting all weird, too. What… You know what? None of my biz. I gotta find a partner."

"Take Joe and make Sam go by himself."

"Yeah, sounds like what I'll have to do. I'll pray for you, okay?"  
"Okay."

Stacie heard Cowboy talking in the background and she said, "Tell them I said hi and send my love."

"Will do."

Stacie hung up and marched over to Sam and Joe, "I don't have a partner this morning," she said. Sam held out his arms. "Mercedes said that she's not coming. She sounds awful and she seems to be at Stevie's. What is going on? She has never missed an event for the church, before. One time, she came in with walking pneumonia! What is happening with you two?"

Sam placed his hands on her shoulders and said, "We're fine. Everything's going to be okay. She's just been having some depression for a few days, so she's been hanging out with Stevie. Makes her laugh or whatever. Why don't you two go together and I will hang back and set out with one of the stragglers or something?" Stacie glared at him, suspiciously. He wasn't being straight with her. He was protecting her from something and she did not like this!

.

Sam pulled up to Stevie's after the Seven Sayings program. Stevie was outside with Matt and Mercedes. "Sam's here," he heard Stevie say. Mercedes didn't seem enthused about that.

"Mercy… The kids inside?" he asked.

"Yeah. It's kind cold out here, so…" she said.

Stevie uncomfortably glanced at his folded arms, then got up. "I'll get them," he offered.

Sam took the seat that he had been occupying. "Matt, do you think that you could give us a moment?" he asked.

"Can it wait?" Mercedes asked.

Matt said, "She's taking the charge for keeping an eye on me, I guess."

"What's that mean?" Sam wondered.

Mercedes said, "It's kind of personal, for Matt. But, I'm just keeping him company while Stevie's inside…"

Sam furrowed his eyebrows and Matt leaned towards him, "Stevie's doing me a solid, letting me stay in the RV for a few days while Aphasia and I work some things out. She's just worried about leaving me alone."

"Matt, you don't have to talk about your issues for Sam. He and I are going to the same place. He'll have plenty of time to talk to me."

Stevie came out holding a twin's hand in each of his and Heaven rushed out and hugged Sam. He collected the twins and put everyone into their seats, then asked Mercedes, " _Are_ you coming home, or is this trend of messing things up and trying to work things out in an RV something else you're going for?"

"Whoa," Matt said.

"Wow," Stevie said.

Mercedes scoffed and got up to walk towards the truck. She stopped at Sam and said, "I can't believe that you would say something so cruel to me to try to embarass me." She started crying almost as soon as she said it and got into the truck, refusing his help. He put his head against the window and got in, seeing her try not to let Heaven see her crying. Heaven was preoccupied with some kind of electronic game.

"Babydoll…"

"Please, don't bother," she said, softly.

"Mommy, you okay?" Heaven asked, obviously hearing something in her voice.

"Mommy's not feeling too good, Baby. I might have to take some medicine when we get home and lie down."

"Okay, Mommy. I can rub your belly, okay?"

"Mommy will love that, Sweetie! Thank you! You're the best boy!"

They got home and Sam got the kids ready for bed, then tried to come and talk to her. "First of all, what you said was extremely inconsiderate to both Matt and Stevie. You have no idea what Matt is going through and Stevie told you what he was going through in confidence and you're little jab at me wasn't worth attacking either of them. And I _certainly_ didn't appreciate it. The kids are coming with me in the morning."

"We can go together. I'll be sure to wake you up if you…"

"I'm going to my former church," she said and went into the bathroom, without another word. Sam sat on the foot of the bed and tried not to pull his hair out. He knew that when she had her moments, even though it had been quite while, that it could get ugly and hard, but he shouldn't have said what he said at Stevie's. She was right. It was cheap and tacky and now, she was upset and… he got up and knocked on the door, "Hey… you're not going to do anything to yourself, are you? Can I see your forearms?"

"Are you fucking serious?" she asked. "Why don't you just focus on your really important weekend and let me do my own thing. I got the idea from you, after all. While you're at it, Pastor, you ought to apologize to your brother before you have to see him tomorrow night at the Evans-Hart Easter Dinner!"

"Are you coming to that?"

"I'm not going to miss out on family time just because you're treating me like a pariah."

"I'm not! Granted, I said something rude and stupid tonight…"

She came out, with a bonnet on her head and her face facing past him, "Tonight? Rude and stupid tonight? Not… every time I bring up something that you said you would pray about and talk to me?"

"I didn't want to talk until after this weekend, but since we're apparently having problems right now, I might as well tell you that I still feel the exact same way about it. I can't _make_ you do anything, but I don't support it, and your behavior this weekend isn't helping anything."

" _My_ behavior this weekend? You're the one who has been a dick every since I asked you if God had spoken to you about my concerns yet. _You_ have been difficult. _You_ have been mean. _You_ have been dismissive! If you thought that it was going to make me bow before you asking for your good graces, you thought dead wrong."

"Okay. I'm sorry. You're right. Just… Please, don't miss church. That'll kill Stacie. She's already worried about us and I have been trying to ease her mind…"

"I'm not going to come to church feeling the way that I feel. I want to be able to lay my burdens down on the altar… And right now, I don't trust an altar with you at the pulpit." She avoided touching him as she grabbed the blanket and left the bedroom. Sam was crestfallen. She had never responded so strongly to something before. Hanging out with Stevie and Matt this weekend couldn't have helped, either.

.

As stated, she didn't come to church the next day and the children went with her. Stacie was near tears until she felt little fingers tap her and looked up to see Cowboy. She smiled brightly and collected him into a hug as Cheri sat next to her, sporting one of her hats and two braids going down the sides of her face. "I sent Stevie to take the little ones to the nursery. He _really_ didn't want to be here, but I insisted. I knew that it would be good for you." Stacie cried and hugged Cheri hard. "Hey… you okay?" She shook her head and wiped her face. Cheri took her hand and held on to it.

After a while, Cheri wondered, "Where the heck is Mercy?" Stacie shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "Where is Stevie?" she wondered.

At the end of the church service, Stevie finally came to them, "The crowd was way too big to try to push through it to get by y'all. I just watched on the monitors in the nursery. The girl told me that they had room because some of the workers were seated with family today."

"That's against the rules," Stacie said, shaking her head. "What if you were a pedophile? Or a church shooter?"

"I don't run the place, Ma'am."

"Yeah. You just flirt your way into the nursery," Cheri said and he squinted at her, unsure if that was serious, or not. She changed the subject, "Did Mercedes sit in another room too?"

"She went to her COGIC," Stevie said.

"What?" Stacie and Cheri both asked.

"Yeah, she said that she was going to have the church van drop her off at ours, and we're gonna make sure that she gets to Stacie's for dinner…" he said, wondering why neither of them knew this. "I told her that my Evans can get into the Pink Chariot and hers could come in my truck… Was that wrong?"  
"Yes!" Cheri and Stacie both fussed, "You needed to tell her to ride with her husband." "You didn't tell me that I was gonna have to drive today! I don't feel like driving! I've thrown up four times."

"Jesus, are you pregnant again?" Stacie asked, suddenly.

"No," just sick.

"Hungover?" Stacie asked.

"No! Damn…" They both gasped and Cheri covered her mouth. Then, she turned to Stevie, "Get Sam to pick her up or pick up the kids and she can ride with us, but I am not driving anywhere today and you owe me one after this weekend."

"What happened this weekend?" Stacie wondered. Hers had been a bust, for the most part, but maybe their was an evil attacking their family and they needed prayer warriors on it."

"Actually, a lot. I don't know what to mention right now. I don't want to ruin your favorite weekend. We'll talk about it, though. You're next in line," she said and rubbed her back as Stevie called Mercedes. "Um, Sir… What you doing? COGIC on an Easter Sunday? She's not gone from that building yet!" She laughed.

.

Stacie knocked on Sam's office door and then just walked in. He was at his desk, red eyes, forcing a smile. "You've let this go too far and go on for too long," she said. "Before Mama died, I was devastated by the thought of her and Daddy getting a divorce and they were terrible for each other, so imagine how I feel with the two people that I love seeing together more than anybody - two people that I try to emulate more than anybody have this going on all because you just won't tell her that it's okay for her to say whatever she wants and do whatever she wants to do about racism! It's a stupid fight, Sammy. It's a no brainer! She's not going to do something to get herself hurt."

"She'll put herself on their radar."

"Then trust God to protect her! Fix this! I didn't slave over dinner to have the two people that my inlaws know I aspire to acting like two bitter brawlers! When it was you and Stevie, I backed _you_ up. Stevie can be overzealous and abrasive. But, Mercy is the sweetest person and the best kind of woman. You should trust her and you definitely shouldn't be doing whatever you did last night at Stevie's to make her angry enough to not be here today. Don't think that the congregation hasn't noticed her absence this weekend. Her presence is enormous and well felt. Fix it!"

"I'll try."

"Don't be late for dinner, either."

"Are you going to have a similar talk with her. This isn't one-sided you know?"  
"Of course it is. She's the oppressed, the marginalized, the minority. Every area of your personality, you're in a place of power and privilege over her. You should be trying to accommodate her comfort. You can bang on your chest and grab her and control her when it's baby making time again." She left the office, shaking her head. Sam laughed and saw thet Mercedes was calling him.

"Hello?" he answered eagerly.

"Hey… Can you come pick me up from the church and say hi to my old pastor, or is that insulting after what I did today?"  
"No… I can. Are you ready, now?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm on my way… I love you… So much. I'm so sorry, about everything. My heart is hurting, Babydoll. Can you _please_ forgive me?" She paused and he held his breath, terrified by what a pause meant. That should have been a pretty straightforward 'yes.'

"I love you so much, too," she said. _That wasn't a yes..._


	10. The Rebuke

**The Rebuke**

After Matt's breakdown, as he and Aphasia sat in their car driving, he asked, "Do you think that we should do this tonight?" She glanced at him. "I just mean… when we go to do intake, they'll want to hold me for 72 hours and monitor me and talk to me. If something else like that happens, we'll miss our anniversary."

"Well, Matt, this is more important."

"Nothing is more important. It's the most important day of the year. It's the most important day of my life. Could we please, just wait?"

She pulled over and flashed the blinkers and sighed, "What could we do in the meantime? I can't bring you back home to Mattie. What if this happens again? We're lucky that he didn't really understand what was happening before I put him in the nursery."

"I wasn't going to hurt him or you."

"Seeing it could be hurtful. I don't know, Matt. I know that you love April 2nd, but…"

"Maybe Stevie could watch him for a while? Or Jane?"  
"I don't know Jane _that_ well to leave Mattie with her for an extended period."

"A few days at best.."  
"Stevie seemed to have something really important going on tonight, though. I think he and the wife are hashing some things out or something."

"Then, _I_ can go there. The guy owes me a couple of nights on his couch, at least."

"Matt… You think that I would prefer that something like that happens in front of someone else's kids, instead of mine? Maybe, we can come spend time with you there for the anniversary?"  
"No. Just… We'll skip it…" He sadly stared out of the window into the darkness.

Aphasia texted Stevie: _Sorry to bother you again… Is it possible for us to borrow the RV? We'll pay for maintenance._

It didn't take too long for him to reply: _It's all yours. Is he okay?_

 _Phai: We'll be by tonight, if that's not asking too much?_

 _Stevie: Yeah… Text when you get here. We had a situation earlier, as well._

 _Phai: Thank you! I'll explain when we get there._

 _Stevie: See you soon._

Whenever they got there, Stevie met them outside with the keys to the RV. "Our anniversary is coming up. Matt is probably going to have to stay in the hospital, just for a bit. We're stuck between not wanting to miss it and not wanting to have a repeat of tonight in front of Mattie."

"Awww, well… Cheri and I _both_ know about mental episodes, and like I said, what's mine is y'all's. It's gassed up, but there's not food in there. I can bring something out, though. Y'all look exhausted."

"It was a very tiring night," Aphasia said. "I've got to get back home to Mattie. Shane's with him now."

"You don't look like you can drive. Have Shane bring him by and we'll put him up in Cowboy's room for the night so y'all can rest."

Aphasia hugged him tightly as Cheri came outside, hugging herself in her sweater, "Hey… Is everything alright?"

Aphasia smiled and waved, "I'm so sorry about all of this. We won't be in your way, I promise."  
"We have plenty of room in the house, you know? It's a big place."

Stevie approached her and said softly, "Shane's gonna bring Mattie by, so they won't have to do any more travelling tonight, but they're gonna just sleep in the RV. She can't really leave him alone, in case he has another attack."

"But, it's cold out here," Cheri said. "The walls are pretty solid. You two need to come on inside. The kids are asleep. I promise, it won't be an issue." Stevie sighed. He thought that she was going to have problems with this, but he remembered that even though she could be hesitant to do radical work, she was extremely charitable. They followed her into the house and she showed them the room that Stacie used to sleep in, "Sometimes, it's a guest room. I'll have to grab towels for the bathroom and covers for the bed…"

"I'll do that," Stevie volunteered.

When he rushed off, Aphasia said, "Cheri, thank you for this kindness. I'm sorry that we interrupted at a bad time earlier. Over the past year, we got really used to being able to call on Stevie. He's always the MVP, you know?"

"Not as well as you know," she said and shrugged her shoulders. "It's the least I can do. I haven't forgotten and never will forget that you two came to my rescue before. I know that you two seem to forget, because you help so many people. It's only right that somebody ought to help you when you run into some issues…" Stevie came back with supplies and handed them off to Aphasia. She smiled up at him gratefully, for a little bit longer than Cheri was comfortable with. Whenever they went into the room, Cheri headed back towards theirs and Stevie followed after her.

"Are you sure that this is alright? You seemed ready to break up with me again earlier for accidentally answering the phone…"

"That was for wanting to leave when I needed you, but I'm not going to stick them in an RV when Matt's having a breakdown and she's too tired to drive. I don't resent them _that_ much."

"I didn't know that you _resented_ them _any_ much…"

She turned, very quickly and said, "Stevie, tonight drained every bit of fight I have in me, okay? Can we just not, alright?"

"I don't want to fight. I'm sorry about tonight. I didn't have any control of the room and I forgot the script once Cowboy started probing. _He_ mentioned dying and I think he heard you say it when we were whispering…"

"You're right. Everything that happened tonight was my fault."

"That's not what I…" She walked away. He rubbed his hands through his hair, then Aphasia came back out of the room and he turned in the direction of the sound.

"I'm gonna wait outside for Mattie. I just want to hold him. He's had a long night, too." Stevie nodded but went to join Cheri.

.

The next morning, Stevie found Aphasia and Mattie sleeping on the couch, but he didn't bother them. The children would do that soon enough. Speaking of which, he had breakfast to make for a full house.. She woke up at some point that he was working on that, "Hey, I ended up just keeping Mattie with me like my teddy bear. I don't think it hit me how difficult seeing Matt like that was until after I had a chance to just sit there. He went to sleep fresh out of the shower. I held Mattie for hours before I drifted off."

"It's a hard thing to see… and a hard thing to go through. I don't envy either of you for last night."

"Oh? You seemed to have something going on last night, yourself. Are you and Cheri okay? Like, you two are working on you two, right?"  
"Yes, but we're not okay. Last night, we had to talk to the kids about something and I can't go into detail right now, but I fucked that shit up, like majorly. I answered the phone, I was considering leaving, I forgot the script…"

"Yikes. Sorry, Man. I didn't mean to add to whatever all that was. I didn't know what to do."

"I get it. Cheri gets it. But…"

"She's understandably upset that you answered the phone at a bad time and considered leaving, no less."

"I'm honestly too stupid to think on my own. I keep replaying last night, like how am I so bad at being this woman's husband? She means everything to me and I can't get things right."

"I think you're just nervous, because you never loved her any less, but somewhere along the way, she temporarily gave up on you. She made you leave and you didn't really do anything wrong. You're scared that it could happen again, so you overthink your actions, and that's normal and it's okay. Just, always be honest with her and always say what you mean and make sure that you're caring about her, too. If Matt had answered a phone during something important, I don't know, Man - I'd be pissed. She's better than me, because I wouldn't have invited us in. As a matter of fact, I'd have told you to sleep in the RV _with_ us."

"She's a very caring person. In my rants about our relationship, did I ever tell you about the first time that she held me?"

"I think so. You got your ass whipped for the gajillionth time, before you learned how to fight."

"I know I didn't use those words!"

"You got in a fight and lost, like that time I beat you up and that time the other dude bested you…"

"Um, yes - I lost fights when I was younger, but I got _jumped_ that day, trying to defend her! And she held me and I was all busted up and she wanted to go get me help, but I asked her to stay and hold me and she did. She ended up losing the feeling in her feet and whenever she walked me to my room, kept asking me if I was okay. We fussed some, got really mad at each other for no reason, but the next day, I had this handwritten apology on this pink paper with hearts and butterflies on it. 'I'm sorry that I got you beat up. I was so upset because I know I'm not worth it. I hope that you don't hate me for making that happen to you. XOXO."

"Wow. Did you tell her that it wasn't her fault?"

"No. I told her that I'd forgive her if she held me again, and I touched her butt when she did."

"Gross."

"I was a teenager!" He grabbed some plates, "And she was hot. She was beautiful. She had a nice voice. She always smelled good. Her skin was super soft…"

"Ummm… You realize that adult you is getting a boner over kid her?"

"I'm not getting a boner! I'm just trying to justify my awful behavior as a young person. For what's it worth, I told her that _I_ thought that she _was_ worth it. I told her that I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think that she was. And when she tried to make me promise never to get beat up over her again, I just said that I didn't plan to get beat up over her _that_ time. Anyway, after that - she began to try to curb her reactions to things. She began to noticeably alter how she handled stuff. Whenever they asked her about her getting her temper in line, she said in group, in front of everybody, "I don't want to see Stevie get beat up over me again, so I try not to provoke any fights, so he won't have a reason to try to defend me."

"Whoa. You never told me that one," Aphasia said.

"It's something that I think about a lot. Whenever we see these deaths on tv or on the computer. Whenever we witness something racist, whether blatant or some microaggression, I always wonder - if years ago when she barely even really knew me, she stifled herself to keep me cool headed, how can I possibly think that she's not doing the same thing now, now that she loves me?"

"You're _still_ fighting for her."

"She's _still_ worth it." He passed her a plate.

.

By the time Mercedes called, Aphasia and Matt had gone to pick up some things for his stay in the RV for the next few days and left Mattie with Stevie and the kids, who Stevie asked to try to let Mommy get some sleep. Cheri slept through breakfast, him leaving her a note about taking the kids to pick up Mercedes and to call him if she needed him, and them getting back to the house with Mercedes in tow.

While the children played, Mercedes told Stevie all about Sam's thoughts. She hadn't spoken to him about it when she was last over, but wasn't sure how much of it Cheri told him. She got her side out, then told him about Sam's most current response to her bringing the subject back up. "That's fucked up," Stevie said.

"I'm not overreacting?"

"I'm the worst person to ask that question. Do you know what my threshold of overreacting is?" He laughed, "I think that Sammy feels like he's doing the right thing. I agree with him to a certain extent. I'm actually relieved that Cheri doesn't like to do this stuff. I've seen Aphasia get spat in the face at. I've seen Jane get roughed up. I mean… If Cheri were out there, doing all of that, I'd be on death row, right now."

"Over spit?" Mercedes asked.

"Do you think it was friendly spit? Someone does that, it is one of the most violent things that they can do short of actually causing you physical harm and it is done with the intention to do harm to you, deeper than physical. To do you emotional harm. It is similar to a threat of violence, but reminiscent of times in which anything could be done to black bodies without repercussion. It is like saying to someone, I wish that I could do you harm and get away with it. I hope that you do something drastic for what I just did so that I can have an excuse. I should know, I have spit on a lot of people in my short life."

"What can I do about Sam?"

"Forgive him before he can't forgive you," Stevie said.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Always."

"When this thing drove you and Cheri apart, was it because of unforgiveness?"

"No. It was a lot of things, but that wasn't one of them. We wanted to love each other really deeply and really strongly and we did, for a long time, then we had kids and we wanted to love them just as much as we loved each other… And we ended up coming to very different conclusions of how to best do that, and you know now from experience, that even if you can't agree on anything else in this world, that has to be number one. I thought I was making the world safer for our kids, she thought I was bringing more trouble."

"What changed? That you two came together?"

"We were still doing everything that we'd done before, but we were doing it apart. That was really stupid and we missed out on so much."

"And now, you're going the route that you don't think makes the world safer for the kids…"

"No. I'm taking a break, not quitting, and that's for Cheri's benefit."

"Because she has a pill problem?"

"What? No. Why did you say that?"

"That's what Stacie thinks."

"Cheri don't have no pill problem. She _hates_ taking pills. She has to take everything that she's taking. Tell Stacie to shut the fuck up."

"Sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"Stacie has been hard on Cheri every since I got out of the institution. Everybody tells me that she was never hard on her before then, but I wasn't there, so I can't say. I think her 'protect my family' kicked in and she doesn't get the dynamic that we have. If Stacie ever told Joe to 'fucking drop dead' or even called him a 'ass sucking nitwit,' she would pray for forgiveness everyday, so if she hears Cheri say it, she feels like that's uncalled for. Like, she never even asks what I did to get called an ass sucking nitwit."

"That was a HUGE moment on the show, you know? Cheri was super hurt when Stacie told the confessional that she was abusive and always verbally berating you."

"They don't show you in the editing… I busted out laughing when she said that! Then, I bothered her until I got kisses and she left the room and said, "Get your shit together," and they went from 'ass sucking nitwit, to Stacie's shocked and horrified face to Cheri leaving the room! It wasn't what it was made out to be, I promise."

"God help Stacie if she ever hears Mama T talking to you!" Mercedes joked.

"Mama T told me that I can gobble crow's dick, just last Tuesday."

"Stacie wants her family to be like her inlaws' family. But, she's literally the only one who married up!"

"Speak for yourself. I married a goddamned goddess."

"Yeah, well - she's from dysfunctional stock and the trauma is still a part of her. I'm _definitely_ from dysfunctional stock and all of my selected family are, as well. Stacie married this wholesome cupcake that makes people smile and gives hugs, kisses, prayers and wishes to strangers."

"I think she married a weird creep," Stevie said.

"Awww."

"Never liked him. I think it was the dreads. You have to constantly question a person who chooses to wear white people dreads. Tell me that when you touched those, they felt the same as Shane's."

"They have different hair textures."

"Yeah. Joe has hair texture that shouldn't do that ever. Also, why is he always smiling? He's like creepy Mr. Rogers, with stupider clothes."

"None of this means anything to me, but I happen to know from multiple references that everyone loves Mr. Rogers!"

"They wouldn't if he was creepy. I said Joe was like CREEPY Mr. Rogers!"

Whenever Matt and Aphasia got back, she took Mattie and left Matt there. He just joined the two outside. "Does Cheri always just hang around at home looking fly as hell?" Aphasia asked when she came out.

"Everyday," Stevie said.

"Sis got her slay game on point. I asked her if she had plans and she said she was the plans. I ain't mad at her!" Mercedes laughed as Matt gave Mattie kisses before they left.

"Sooo… Matt, you're hanging out at Stevie's, now? What the what?"

"Oh, I'm… Well - I'm not ashamed. I have some emotional distress to sort through, and Stevie has been kind enough to let me give my family some space and reside in the RV until after our anniversary on the 2nd. Hopefully, I don't have another panic attack before then."

"Matt, I don't know, Man. What she described didn't sound like a panic attack. It sounded like you had a nervous breakdown and a panic attack hit you while that was happening."

"Oh," Mercedes said. "I'm sorry, Matt. I shouldn't have pried. I thought it was like a boys day or something."

"Nope. Good old fashioned I put too much on myself and crumbled under the weight. Promptly on the 3rd, I'm going to go in for observation. Phai wants to take me to some place in Utah that's supposedly really good. She's worried that after our legal battles with two different institutions on behalf of Cheri that maybe we'll run into someone who hates us."

"Can't call the cops, can't go to the hospital, all because you believe in rights and justice," Stevie complained.

"I saw Dre," Matt said. Stevie and Mercedes both turned in his direction, but he didn't look at either of them. "She was plain as day, but different. She was dead. Her head was busted open. Her face was blue, like she had been in the morgue, but she was still bleeding and she couldn't breathe and when I saw her, _I_ couldn't breathe. And she was crying and I started crying. And she was dying and I felt like I was dying."

"Survivor's remorse?" Mercedes wondered.

"That's Jane. I wasn't even there."

"That regret, then. That you weren't there for one of the worst moments of her life," he stared off into the yard. "She needed you and you feel like if you were around, maybe something else could have happened, but maybe not. Maybe… This was all going to happen, no matter what. Maybe if you had been there, you'd be dead too, right now. And seeing how hard it was for Phai to handle what happened to you, I know she couldn't handle that. I miss AC. I will never be able to get over her death, but Matt, you have got to know that you are significant in a way that many of us wouldn't be able to even function without you. Namely, your wife and kid."

"They're going to function just fine while I'm getting help."

"No, they won't. They'll do their best, but it won't be fine," Stevie said. "Y'all… Cheri is… sick."He took a swallow. "I don't want to say too much, as she wants to be the one to grant the access to this information, but… She's sick and it's bad and I was gone while she was getting sicker. She doesn't have a pill problem. She's sick. Extremely sick. She did her best and now, she needs me and I would be here even if I didn't know that she was sick, because doing my best without her isn't functioning, it was just surviving."

Mercedes reached over and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Stevie. Is she going to be okay?"

"We're not sure. We were telling the kids when Phai called…"

"Oh, shit." Matt said. He reached over and squeezed Stevie's other shoulder.

Stevie sighed, "Whenever we talked, I would be so angry that we were apart. I was angry mostly at myself, but I think that even though I never wanted to say it, I was angry at her too, for making me leave. I responded to her with anger. I was short with her, even though she'd be being nice to me. I was doing so much. She was just at home, sick, taking care of our kids most of the time, working, having sitters and tutors, travelling with them, photo shoots, listening to their stories and showing off their artwork… I was… I mean, helping save lives, but missing out on their lives and missing out on maybe Cheri's last good moments of hers…"

"Damn… She's sick, _like that?"_ Matt asked, sadly taking his hand back.

"You kept telling me to fix it. AC told me. Phai told me. Mason told me. The only person who wasn't on my case about it was Jake, and everybody else didn't really know, but I could always tell that they knew that something wasn't right." He told Mercedes, "If I were you, I'd forgive him and try not to miss anymore moments."

… Of course, that was before Sam showed up and said what he said to her in front of them when, 1. She didn't even realize that he was ready to go! 2. That was just messed up to say, no matter how he was feeling about her spending time there.

.

By Sunday afternoon, she had spoken to her former pastor, wondering if she would be wrong to leave Sam's church. He thought that would be the beginning of the end. Blah blah blah, men's egos. Blah blah blah a woman's place. She cut him off and asked, "Can I just skip right to the part where you tell me what to do to accept his obvious lack of support? Because, I already know everything that you just said and probably everything up to this part: How can a man expect support but not expect _to_ support? Because, honestly pastor, I'm not interested in one-sided relationships of any sort. I am too old, love myself too much and have three children that I believe benefit only from seeing healthy, mutual relationships."

"Perhaps I could speak with him. I haven't seen him in a while…"

"Can you do that today? I don't even want to go home to him, if we're being honest," she said. If she was being immature, she didn't care. The number of times she'd been present when her sighted friends have gone off, jumped in their cars and left to clear their heads, she was allotted this time. Did Sam even _know_ some of the tales of woe that she had heard from scorned women? He had himself a sweet deal and she wasn't going to tolerate…

 _Actually, you know what? - She was still willing to compromise before he thought he'd be Mr. Big & Bad in front of Matt and Stevie! _

_They had all spent hours telling each other about some of their biggest secrets and significant issues. What was she supposed to do? SENSE that he was done loading up the kids and everything? Shit. She couldn't see and she was a little bit off kilter, so she wasn't as aware of the sounds around her. Talmbout some "You sleeping in the RV? Muffugga, IF we were fighting, YOUUUUUUU'D be the one sleeping in the gotdamn RV…_

"Mercy?" The pastor said.

"Huh?"

"Lost you for a moment there. I never know, because you don't have a _spaced out_ face."

"Oh, yeah.. I will call Sam." She had at least heard him.

.

Sam asked her if she could forgive him. That was a loaded question. Of course, she could. She loved him and she wanted things good. But, she wasn't going to move on, let it go and keep carrying on like none of it happened. She was definitely going to forgive him, but she wasn't going to do it today and she wasn't about to just say "yes," without all of the qualifiers to go with it. Sam had it too easy, if he thought that his recent treatment was going to just be accepted and forgiven without further conversation!

He arrived at the church and Mercedes was with the pastor and the kids, with the kids playing in a nearby field, getting their Sunday's best covered in filth. Sam and her pastor hugged tightly and quickly caught up before the pastor repeated much of the things that he had said to Mercedes and much of what she hadn't let him say. He had stuff to add, as well. The two of them began to take a walk around the church grounds. Sam started the conversation with, "I'm so sorry to keep you here today. I'm sure you'd love to be heading home to be with your family for the holiday…"

"Sam, the reason that I wanted to talk to you today is because, I don't think that Mercedes has ever had something like this happen before, and as I'm sure you've realized by now - she's not perfect when she's facing new problems."

"I'm not sure what problems you mean, Pastor…"

"That she wants to do something and you've told her that she can't."

Sam chuckled and squinted, "I think that you and I both know that there isn't a thing in the world that I could keep her from, if she really wanted to do it."

"Okay, then if that's the case, then just tell her that you support her and don't worry about it."

"But, what if she does do it? Pastor… Did she tell you what she wants to do?"

"Yes, she did. It's very similar to things that many members of my church do all of the time, including myself. I tried to tell her that you might not understand why this is this important to her. To be honest, most white people can't, whether or not their spouses or children are affected by the things that people are trying to change."

Sam frowned, "I understand just fine. The problem is… I wouldn't send my children to do this kind of work, either. Not because it doesn't affect them, but because they have limits that many of the workers don't have. I wouldn't expect my friend Artie to take his wheelchair and go. I wouldn't expect the deaf woman at church to go, either…"

"Where is it that you believe she wants to go? She said that she was trying to start a new talk show."

"Mercedes NEVER just wants to talk about something! She _always_ wants to get involved! She can't get involved! They are starting to run people over with their cars at these events! People who can see are having trouble dodging vehicles."

"Then, whether or not she can see wouldn't help that situation."

"Right, but whether or not she's _there_ can."

"I understand how you feel, Sam. I promise that I do. When my daughter joined the military, I didn't want it to happen. She joined right after 9/11 and the country was in turmoil. I wanted to forbid her, but she's always been the type to do what she believed in, where or not anybody else did. Mercedes is the same way, and unlike my daughter, Mercedes will torture herself about not receiving the support that she craves. She's always been a little insecure and sometimes, she's _very_ insecure."

"I appreciate you taking this time. We've gotta go." The ride home was tense, for Sam. Mercedes was simply talking with the kids. Heaven missed their church, but said that he really liked this church because of a "lotta lotta dancing."

.

Joe greeted everyone as they came inside. Stacie was fetching drinks and kept changing the incense. Whenever Sam and Mercedes finally showed up, she was relieved to see that they at least didn't seem to be fighting, or whatever their version of "fighting" was. She had Christian themed Easter baskets for the children, along with plenty of hugs and kisses and requests for photos now that all of the kids were here.

Stevie was with Mama T, in the backyard, watching all of his run around and Sam joined the two of them. Tanisha forced a smile, and confessed, "We're out here to sneak beers, so if you have some kind of holy man mission, you take that shit right on back inside."

Stevie stared at him for a while and asked, "Are y'all _still_ fighting?"

Sam's eyes widened and Tanisha reminded him, "Tells me everything. Yes, even your business, if you show it in front of him. Shouldn't have gone to his house trying to drag everybody."

"That's not what I was doing."

"Oh. From how it was told to me, sounded like you got really salty and nasty with everyone there because you're having problems at home that are also your fault, but it's none of my business," she said.

Sam smiled and pointed out, "I'm glad that you realize that, so I get to skip saying it."

"Say whatever you want. I sure am," she told him. Sam got up and left. He heard her mumble, "I'm not even sure why he sat down over here, if we're being honest. I haven't fucked with him since that tattoo bullshit a few years back."

Stevie cackled, "Are you serious?"

Sam went to where the kids were and chatted with them for a while, then looked around and wondered where Cheri was. He went inside and found her when they almost bumped into each other as she came from the bathroom. "Oh, hi!" She jumped and covered her chest.

"Hey, Sam. You okay?" She wondered.

"Kinda on everybody's shit list…" He said.

"I thought that you didn't cuss. My ears feel offended," she said, with a serious face.

"Sorry…"

"I'm playing. Have you met my husband? Should've. I think you two came out of the same hoohah." She fiddled with her hair and pointed to the bathroom, "You trying to get by me?"

"No. Actually, I was looking for you…" She looked worried about that news. "I saw Matt at your place last night. He and Stevie and Mercedes were talking, kinda hush hush. You know what that was about?"

"Did you ask them?" She asked.

"Everyone's being kind of secretive with me because of this whole Mercedes crusades thing. You… Get my standpoint, right? I mean, you don't support Stevie and he still does it, but…"

"I do support Stevie. I never told Stevie that he couldn't do what he does. I told Stevie that I couldn't handle it, for a while - and I didn't. We did our own thing and when we were tired of that, he put it on hold. But, I would never tell Stevie that he can't do something or tell him that I won't support him."

"How is saying that you can't deal with it not _not_ supporting him?"

"Well, I don't speak to him about it. I don't get involved with it. I don't help out with anything or let him flake out of commitments such as picking up the kids or whatever else is currently going on… But, I don't come to people's houses and trash talking them in front of their friends and you didn't even realize that Stevie and I were going through what we were going through until he flat out told you, so while I may not be 'supportive' as you see it, I'm not destructive to him, either."

"Everyone is acting like I came over and threw a fit!"

"Look, I let you make it when you put Stevie on blast at that dinner, about me running late. I figured that you coming over and taking jabs at people for sleeping in a damn good RV while trying to attack your wife for daring to have interests of her own is worth a clapback," Cheri said and looked over his shoulder at Kissy. "Ugh… Y'all brought the dog in. I'ma be in the guest room."

"Sorry… You hadn't been around in months. We forget."

"No big deal.." He followed her to the guest room and she looked perplexed, "Dang… They really got you feeling some kind of way if you're trying to hang out with me. We never talk. I don't even know what favorite show is, and I talk to people about shows all of the time."

"So, you know everybody's favorite show?" he asked, laughing.

Without a pause, she answered, "Stacie's is This Is Us, Joe doesn't watch TV, but likes movies and really into the God's Not Dead series, Mercedes likes books, but will listen to The View and The Real because her show is similar, Dwight still watches SNL for some godawful reason, Mama T is mourning the fact that her favorite show Scandal is about to end, but she watches so many things, that I doubt that can possibly be her favorite show, Stevie's is Game of Thrones, Heaven's is Paw Patrol…"

"Okay… Okay…"

"I know Joe's folks' too, if you're just bored," she said. "You strike me as a crime drama guy, SVU or NCIS or something…" she said.

"Better Call Saul…"

"What." She stared at him and he went into the bedroom and sat on the foot of the bed. "That is not a good show, but I guess."

"Did you like Breaking Bad?"

"No. Why, is that your second?"

"No, but it's a spin off. If you didn't watch the first, you probably should, to kind of get the…"  
"No, thank you."

"But, you can not only watch but _star in_ The R Word?"

"How you gonna try to come for your own show. You created that monster. And, yes. It is well written and sensational. But, one thing that nobody at the studio ever seems interested in answering - did you part ways with them before or after Mercedes' character was killed off?" He rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to figure out how petty my bosses are!"

"I left before that happened. They were wanting to do this affair storyline and a bunch of other things that were so far away from the premise. Then, Quinn sued, and the rest was history. I didn't even know that they'd killed off the character until I got several notifications about it."

"Honestly, the actress was bad. They should have killed her off sooner."

"Why couldn't she just get tired of him and leave, since that's more true to life?" He asked, half playing.

"She'd never leave you. She'd have to die first," Cheri said, confidently. "People say that about a lot of people, but I have watched just about every Real Housewives out there, every show, movie, etc and spent so many hours observing couples. The stuff that you're going through right now - I think she's definitely taking it too far, but that's because you took it too far first and if she backs down now, she'll feel like you're minimizing the importance of her original goal. Can I be straight with you? I tell Stevie to go for it all of the time when I don't want him to."

"That's insane. Does he go for it?"

"Usually."

"But, then you told him to do something that you didn't want him to do and he did it!"

"Yeah, then I gotta live with it," she said. "I'd rather that than to have to live with him feeling like I want to keep him from things that he might enjoy."

"Do… you do the same thing with your kids?"

"Well, these are different dynamics to relationships. Mercedes isn't your child. But, yes - I do the same thing with the kids. If the kids want to do something that I don't want them to do and it isn't dangerous, I let them do it."

"Why?" he wondered.

"Why would I try to hold them back?"  
"I mean… It ain't dangerous to paint on the walls, but if your kids wanted to, you'd let them?"

"Is this a world where I can't find something to put up against the wall to get them to paint on instead?" She asked. "Because, you do realize that compromise still exists, right? Such as - Honey the wall isn't for painting, but I will put this roll of paper up and you can paint on it. Then, whenever you don't want it there anymore, we'll just take the paper down. Jesus - do you just tell your kids 'no' and don't give them other alternatives?"

"No. Well, yes."

"You and Stevie were raised by the same people," she said. "Though, Stevie will at least be like, 'No, let's play catch instead,' or something. God, Man. How does one take being your child and slash or wife when you just kinda put your foot down on stuff?"

"Stevie supports you the way that you support him?" he asked. She paused then shrugged her shoulders. "See? So, I'm not the only man who puts my foot down…"

"Oh! Wait.. You meant to ask me does Stevie tell me what to do ever? No. Ever. I generally know how he's going to respond and sometimes act accordingly, but Stevie sure doesn't tell me that I can't do something."

"I said that I can't _support_ it!" Sam corrected.

"Same thing," Cheri told him…

Stacie came to the doorway and gasped, "There y'all are! I thought you'd run off and left the radicals to be together in protest bliss or something," she joked.

Cheri reflexively said, "Ew." Then looked at Sam, "No offense. You're gross to me."

She got up and he laughed, "None taken?"

Cheri barely heard him as she told Stacie, "They brought in the dog. I've already been sick, I didn't want her messing with my allergies…"

"Yeah, I caught her pretty quick and sent her to the back playpen," Stacie said. "We're getting ready to eat. Stevie said that you might skip eating?"

"Girl, I've got to be on this certain diet…"

"Why didn't you tell me? I was operating on old faves!" Stacie complained.

"Sorry. I didn't think about it…" They both left and Sam was still seated on the bed, debating whether or not he felt like joining the fold. Joe was on his side. Joe's family were likely in the dark, so… on his side. Everybody else seemed to think that he was wrong, though. Mercedes had been nicer since he'd talked to Pastor, but he knew that they weren't "good."

"Soooo… You're not eating either?" Stacie asked, reappearing in the doorway. He jumped up and rushed behind her. "What in the world were you and Cheri talking about?"

"Just general stuff and marriage."

"Don't be talking to that girl about marriage. The last thing that you need is somebody pumping your head up to keep that fight going,"

"She didn't, for your information. She told me that I was a bad husband AND father for not being more open."

"Whoa."

"Not her exact words, but there was a lot of disdain in her eyes."

"Well, honestly, she's Stevie's gal. She probably just has a natural built in disdain in her eyes, for you."

"I can believe that."

The dinner table was set up so that husbands could be across the table from wives, meeting at Tanisha and Dwight and Joe's parents on the ends. The kids, of course had a separate table and Cheri kept a close eye on it, even though Cowboy had her back. Stacie was grateful that everybody was getting along. Even Sam and Stevie, who ended up right next to each other, with Joe on the opposite side of Stevie. Dwight, Sam, Stevie, Joe, Grandad and Daddy Hart, and their wives across the way. Stacie kept trying to get her father's attention, as he and Mama T frequently held their own little conversations and shared inside laughs. "We're talking to the whole table tonight, Mama T!" She finally cheered.

Tanisha's eyes widened and she said, "Oh. Okay. Want me to repeat it?"

Dwight quickly chimed in, "No. No, she doesn't." He leaned in close to her face and she gave him a small peck on the lips.

Stevie commented, "That's how I'm tryna be at their age."

Cheri inserted, "Well, you know… You've got plenty of time to find the right one…" He glared at her and she laughed.

Stacie turned red and said, "Come on, you two…"  
Cheri waved a hand, "Everyone knows we were joking. Cornflake is enough on his own, you think he's selling himself PLUS five kids?"

"The kids are gonna be the ones that make the sale!' Tanisha said.

Stevie laughed and nodded, "Damn straight. I'm leading with the kids, to be honest."

"Is that your game?" Cheri asked, this time, seemingly, a little more seriously.

He caught it and quickly answered, "My best game is to say absolutely nothing for months and watch her throw herself at me until I'm ready to catch… Then refuse to let go."

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Sam, what's your game?" Cheri asked.

Sam shrugged his shoulders, "What do you think, Babydoll? I haven't quite figured out what you ever saw in me."

"She can't see, so maybe that's it," Tanisha joked.

Sam pointed his fork at her, "I look just like my daddy, though. You married him…"

She whispered something to Dwight that made him blush while Mercedes answered, "I fell for Sam because he was humble, respectful of me, my wishes, my dreams, and _supportive_ of the same. He cared about other people, protected his loved ones and did the right thing anytime that he had the chance."

Joe's mom chimed in, "We're so glad that Stacie has a couple like you in her life. When Joe first brought her around, we were nervous. You know… Kids Goggle everything…"

"Google, Mom," Joe corrected her.

"Right. My daughter used the Google and we were honestly scared."

Stacie laughed, "I couldn't even tell! You were all so nice!" Stevie almost pointed out that she complained to him for weeks that she was sure that Joe's family didn't like her, but he'd pick on her later. He was a little bit concerned about Cheri's… comments. They sounded suspicious. She was probably thinking about the cheating again. He sighed, but didn't bring it back up, until the conversation somehow came around to her asking Dwight, "So, how long after Mary passed away did it take for you to move on?" It was low, but he'd heard it, despite the many conversations at the table,

"Are you serious?" Stevie asked her. "You think it's okay to bring up my mother in front of these strangers?"

Cheri furrowed her eyebrows and tried to whisper, "Ummm.. This is a family gathering and I have the whole family here, so I was trying to segway."

"Segway? You're trying to make me feel bad!"  
"Not specifically. I mean, we've already told the kids, so it is possibly already all over the place."

Tanisha stood up, "I have to go to the bathroom."

"Did you tell her?" She asked, incredulously.

"No… Wait. Which thing? Because, right now I think we might be talking two different things…"

"Which thing did you tell her?" She asked.

"At the times that it happened…"

"OH! So...Ok." She laughed and clasped her hands together.

Stacie worried and asked, "What is happening in front of my unsuspecting inlaws?"

Cheri pulled out her phone. "We had a miscommunication, so now, I'm gonna do this telephone thing." She typed something on her phone then announced softly, "The children know, but I don't want to stir anything up, so if you think bad news will prompt a loud emotional response, please don't look." She handed the phone to Stacie and Stacie dropped it, got up and left the room. Dwight reached over Mary's empty seat and around Mercedes plate to grab it and just whispered, "Oh God…" He passed it on and got up to go hug her but she shook her head and eyed the children, who seemed interested in the table suddenly.

When the phone made it back to her, and everyone was extremely quiet, trying not to be the first ones to say something and have it be the wrong thing, Cheri broke the silence. "I'm gonna go check on Stacie." She found her crying on Mama T's shoulder and stepped into her bedroom and closed the door. "Heyyy… Stace…"

Stacie shook her head and went to hug her tightly. "Why? Why didn't you tell me? I thought… I was thinking such bad things. I'm so sorry…"

Tanisha had tears in her eyes as well, "I was thinking that I could sneak some wine and wound up getting some of the worst news I have gotten in my life."

"Funny, that's how my night went when I found out, too," Cheri joked.

Stacie gasped, "Oh my God! Stevie! He has to be devastated! He can't live without you! Not that you're gonna die! I rebuke that. I rebuke that in Jesus' holy name…"

"There it is," Tanisha said and lifted her wine bottle to Stacie.

Stacie hugged Cheri again, rubbing her back, "Lord I pray that you touch my sister's body and release her from this ailment. I pray that the force of the disciples on the day of Pentecost be within my hands to heal. I pray that you give the same power that exists even in the hem of your garment…" Cheri started crying and held tightly to Stacie, and all that she was thinking was, " _God, I hope that Stacie doesn't have a crisis of faith when I die…"_


	11. The Repercussions

**The Repercussions**

Sam reached out to put an arm around Stevie and kissed him on the side of the head. "Bro, I was gonna be there for you if it was a separation, and I'm certainly gonna be there for you now…"

Stevie tilted his head and said, "I'm taking everything very well. The most important thing is the kids and then of course, taking care of her."

Sam leaned towards Mercedes to try to tell her, because she couldn't see the text on the phone, but she nodded her head, "Yeah, Stevie already told me." Sam blinked his eyes and sat back down.

Stevie got up now, "I now have a twin, a wife and he pointed at Tanisha's empty chair, probably near them a mama to go see about, if everybody will excuse me."

Cowboy rushed over to Stevie, "Daddy, can I come see about them, too?"

Stevie squatted down and suggested, "Tell you what? Can you just help Uncle Sammy keep an eye on the kids and then when I bring Mommy back, first thing she'll do is give you a big hug. I'll tell her you need a double sized one, okay?"

"That's a good deal, Daddy. I can agree to that deal," Cowboy said and hugged Stevie. Sam wondered if the kid knew what was going on.

Stevie found Stacie touching Cheri and praying for her while Mama T was at the door, on the phone. "Hey. Jake wants to speak to you." She gave Stevie a sad look - something he wasn't used to seeing from her, ever and she gave him a tight hug as she handed him the phone.

"Hello?"  
"How are you?" he wondered.

"I'm just glad that it's out… Did… You know?"

"I knew that she was sick, but I thought that she had an eating disorder!" Jake said. "This… This shit never crossed my mind."

Stevie heard a lot of loud singing in the background and wondered, "What in the world is going on at _your_ Easter dinner?"

"I don't celebrate Easter and Bree and I are at a friends catching the live presentation of Jesus Christ Superstar."

"Wut?"

"It's a stage show. We're in the biz, so… But… Does she not want to talk or is Stacie still…?"

"Stacie's still at it. They're crying and stuff. But, you should get back to your friends."  
"You think that I can enjoy the rest of my night, now?" Jake wondered.

"I wish somebody could. I didn't expect for this to happen tonight, but I did tell her that I thought her keeping it a secret was one of the reasons that she wasn't getting better. She exhausts herself trying to style wigs and cover up every blemish with makeup and pretend she isn't sick or hurting and…"

"Yeah… I thought that she was trying to hide signs of an ED. I would have said something, but you were apart and I didn't know for sure."

"If ever you don't know for sure, still say something. Us being apart didn't mean we were apart!"

"Is that why I had to listen to 45 minutes of why you were sleeping with somebody else?" Jake asked.

"I _knew_ she was bothered by that!"

"Uh, yeah. She was fighting cancer and you were smashing."

"We were apart!"

"You JUST said that you weren't."

"I don't have to take this treatment…"

"Yeah, you do. I'm not getting off of this phone until I can talk to both Stacie and Cheri. I know you're not going to be the one to smooth them over."

"Why are you so rude to me? I'm your brother too!" Stevie joked.

.

After everyone was gone except for the Harts, Stacie shook her head and apologized. "I thought that my family could pretend to be functional for a night."

Joe's dad insisted, "They're charming people! Don't be embarrassed of where you come from, especially when you turn out well. Even if we hated them, we'd still love you and that's because you're loveable."

"Sorry about your sister-in-law," Mother Hart said. "She's so young and pretty…"

"I prayed for her, laid hands on her and spoke with her. Most of her pretty is manufactured. She's been wasting away for a year and I didn't even know. What kind of sister am I?"

"Not one who reads minds," Joe answered and rubbed her shoulder.

She nodded her head, "I feel like I've let her and Stevie just fall in between the cracks. Like I'd written them off and now they've been going through this alone. Mama T was surprisingly motherly to me tonight."

"Your mother?" Mrs. Hart asked.

"Well, my stepmother… But, she's usually not like that with me. She's usually just like an older woman that I kinda know."

"She seemed very close to your brother."

"Yeah. She and Stevie were close before she and Daddy got together. Different story with me and Sammy, though."

Mr. Hart now commented, "And _he_ also seemed very off tonight."

Stacie admitted, "I think that my family is under attack!"

Mr. Hart stood up and reached on both sides of him, "Well, then there's only one thing that we can do." They all joined in hands. "Go to the One who can fight all of our battles…"

.

Sam got the children ready for bed and was shocked to find that Mercedes had settled onto the couch again! He went to her and asked, "Do you need anything?" But, she just pointed to the phone that he noticed was against her ear. He waited, thinking it either wouldn't be a long call or that she would ask for a moment to address him. He was wrong about both of those things. He listened for a bit.

"Well, I know one thing - if it came down to that, I'm not the one sleeping in no RV…"

"Who are you talking to?" He asked, a little bit angrily.

"Tina and Quinn!" she snapped right back, then said quietly, "I guess he was still there or whatever. Like, what, I guess I can't have phone calls now either…" He balled his fists up and left the room. He watched the clock for a while, wondering if he should go check again or just go to bed. He didn't want to go to bed another night of this. Now, it had been a full weekend of this. That was a weekend longer than any of their short-lived arguments over the years. He fell asleep trying to remember the last time that they even had an argument before now.

When the alarm sounded, Sam got up and got ready for the day. The kids weren't making noise and when he went into the living room, Mercedes' things were wadded up...Heaven's handiwork. She must have already left with them. It was early for her to be walking them to the church, but also… She couldn't see how dark it was…

He got ready and grabbed his phone off of the charger and saw that she had called him. "It's Matt and Aphasia's anniversary, so Stevie and I have the kids." He listened to it over and over. _Stevie and I have the kids? What does that mean? What does that have to do with Matt? What?_ He'd just have to ask her at the church.

Whenever he got there, Stacie and Joe were already there, setting up. "Y'all seen Babydoll?"

Stacie threw down her stack of folders on the table, "Are you kidding me? I thought you were gonna fix it?"

"I tried! Is she not here?" He asked.

Joe offered, "She mentioned babysitting with Stevie today. Cheri is going to get a day of rest after an exhausting weekend of telling everyone that she cares about that she's dying…"

"She isn't," Stacie interjected.

"And Matt and his wife are celebrating their anniversary…"

Sam asked, "Oh my God! What does that have to do with anything?"

Joe frowned briefly and said, "Because Matt's been at Stevie's but now Stevie is also watching Matt's son for the day."

"What do you mean Matt's been at Stevie's?" Sam wondered.

"I'm not clear on all of the details, but Shane and Rashad had to go to Matt's to help him out with something and afterwards, Matt went to stay at Stevie's."

Stacie commented, "You must have forgotten this. I know that you were told. Your name was mud for how you talked to Mercedes with Matt and Stevie there."

"That feels like it was a long time ago… But, Merce has been hanging out over there pretty much the whole time she's been acting the way she's been acting…"

"What are you thinking? Know what, nevermind. Just stop it. We're gonna have preachers here soon and a full congregation shortly afterwards."

Sam ignored most of her words, "I'm thinking that she's been acting this way because she's over there drinking up Stevie and Matt's Koolaid."

Joe shook his head, "I can't tell you anything about your wife, but that certainly doesn't sound like her, to me. In all of the years I've known her, including the years before she met you, drinking people's koolaid was never her way."

Sam snatched a folder off of the table and Stacie snatched it back, "They've got names on them! Yours is at your chair. You need to go to the prayer corner and pray. You're the one that's acting a way. A crazy way…" She finished setting the table and whispered to Joe, "Can you please keep him cool?"

"I don't understand what's happening," Joe admitted.

"His inner Mary Evans is flaring up," she said and shook her head.

Sam heard that. He was too preoccupied to be insulted. Mary hated not getting her way. She was manipulative, vindictive and honestly rotten. Dwight spent years trying to make her happy, but if she wasn't, she tried to make him regret it. That wasn't what Sam was doing. If anyone was doing that, it was Mercedes!

Honestly - he couldn't disagree with her _one_ time without her throwing a tantrum and purposefully missing important days? Was she trying to teach him a lesson? My thing isn't important to you, so your thing is no longer important to me? Despite the fact that this was annual and she was expected! Sure, she only ever listened in and sometimes they talked about how well it went afterwards, but not hearing those encouraging words for the past few days was hard and hurtful. Sure, there was a nagging inner voice telling him that she was probably feeling something similar to this when he was shooting down her thing, but a louder inner voice told him that as soon as he was done with this, he was going over there and putting an end to this thing that Stevie and Matt were doing to her!

.

Joe led Missionary Monday. Fortunately, they worked closely enough together that Joe could generally take over for Sam at the drop of a hat. So, he led the meeting, preached the sermon and ushered in the month's lesson. Sam thought about the first real conversation that he had with Mercedes. She had directed him to the book of Acts. She'd told him about Saul being blinded, brought to the disciples, taken in and being healed and converting. She'd told him about faith in people changing. If he was a pinch smarter, he would have known that he was looking at his future wife. If he were a pinch more reasonable, he never would have let this rift grow. He left the church practically in tears.

"I say that just to say this, Sam… If there has really been a change in you, I'm just going to follow the Christian example and help nurse you into the man that God has for you to be."

He was especially excited about April's Acts study, because _she_ was the reason that it became one of his favorite portions of the Bible!

"The Christians had no idea that this guy was really changed. They just trusted God to take care of them as they did what was best for him, until he had the chance to prove himself as a child of God." Sam pressed his hand to the small of her back to prompt her to walk, which temporarily silenced her, but she finished her thought, "I am going to trust in God to work in you and in the meantime, do what I can to help you out."

It was the first time he'd comfortably touched her! Casually! It was her first declaration of love, even though it was simply a neighborly, Christian type love and not what they had now. He'd messed up. He knew that now. He sped away from the church and headed to Stevie's.

.

By the time Sam reached Stevie's Aphasia and Matt had finished their anniversary date and were going to be taking the RV to Utah and leaving Mattie with the Evans. So, when his truck pulled into the driveway, the RV was facing the street, and Matt, Aphasia, Stevie and Mercedes were outside of it, talking. Stevie announced, "Sam's here," with a hint of confusion, as he had not been expecting Sam tonight. He was expecting to be Mercedes' ride.

She smiled in Sam's general direction as he walked up. "Hey… You ready to go home?" He asked. He tried to keep it polite. No need to rehash whatever happened the other night.

"Not yet, but if you're already here, I guess that means it's time."

"I really wanted you to be at the church today, at least tonight," he blurted out.

"Sorry," she said, paused then added, "I'll go get the kids."

Stevie waved a hand, "I'll go…"

Aphasia said, "Matt and I are gonna take off…"

Sam asked, "Everything going well?" Aphasia nodded, lying, but she and Sam were no longer that cool, so… "Really? That's great. Happy Anniversary!"

"Thanks," she said.

Matt stared at Sam curiously and wondered, "Did you have something that you wanted to get off of your chest, Evans? Gotta shoot your shot. Might not see me in a while." Sam fought to keep quiet, but did end up blurting, partially because Matt looked amused, partially because it was festering and he'd rather take it out on Matt instead of Mercedes. They were doing bad enough.

"I just think it's funny how my wife starts spending time around you and things get really messed up in my home life."

Matt nodded, "I find that funny as well. It's purely coincidental, I assure you. But, yeah - I see that as humorous."

"Humorous?" Sam repeated.

"You said funny. I paraphrased," Matt said. He knew Sam was being sarcastic, but he also felt like Sam was being a dick.

"It is a good thing that you get to have your anniversary trip and enjoy your night while you weaponize my marriage against me!" Sam fussed.

"What?" Mercedes said, not sure what was happening around her, but they sounded serious. Aphasia stepped in front of Sam and pointed her finger in his face, "You have some nerve, out here trying to tell this black woman that she can't use her voice for her people and get mad at Matt for telling her that she can do whatever she wants to. Has been able to since we got free, Dude."

"Get your finger out of my face," Sam said.

"Or what, Sam? Or what?" Aphasia asked. She had some things pent up towards Sam, herself. Stevie had turned around and tried to pull Mercedes out of the line of the argument and step in between Sam and Matt.

"You let your woman fight your battles?" Sam asked.

"See, that's where you keep messing up, Sam. I don't _let_ her do anything. She's grown. She's making a choice. I'm not getting in her way because she's clearly upset with you and I'm not. I don't care about you, to this day," Matt said.

"You're a punk," Sam said. Matt burst out laughing and looked over at Andrea, who was also laughing.

Aphasia squealed, " _You're_ a punk, you lil' bitch. That's why you don't do nothing for nobody no more. Got you some change, wrote you out a lil' apology and moved on. You don't want your wife to do stuff because you're scared that somebody like your racist killer ass might get to her!"

"I'm not even racist anymore, you cunt…" Matt rushed towards Sam, but Stevie had already turned in Sam's direction and held him away, "WHOA! Don't talk to her like that! What's wrong with you? You're a fuckin' pastor, Man.."

Matt was not a fighter. He never got into fights, but this was his _special_ day and the last time he might see his _special_ lady and he'd be damned if _Sam Evans, accessory to his family's murder, his PRESENT family, watching,_ was going to speak that way to Aphasia. Mercedes was getting too close, and when Stevie moved to try to keep her from them, Sam headbutted Matt and gained on him. Matt… wasn't a fighter. He tried, but Sam advanced on him with fists.

It wasn't until Stevie heard Cheri coming out and ask, "Is that a gun?" that Stevie turned and saw Aphasia hit Sam in the head with her pistol. "Oh my God!" Cheri squealed and Mercedes cried, "What's happening? What's happened?"

Aphasia pointed the gun at Sam as he held his head and cocked it, "Get the fuck away from my husband, or I will fill you up with this in this nice white neighborhood."

Mercedes called out to Sam as Aphasia helped Matt into the RV.

Cheri asked, "Are you letting them take the RV. She just hit your brother in the head with a gun and threatened to kill him!"

"WHAT?" Mercedes screamed and went rushing forward trying to finding Sam's sound. He caught her hand, "Sam? Sam?"

Stevie said, "She wasn't going to kill him, she was just trying to get him off of Matt. Matt can't beat Sam. He was getting his ass kicked."

Cheri reminded him, "Sam is your family."

"I know that…" He went to check on Sam.

Aphasia announced, "We can leave in my car, if you really feel that way, Cheri. But when you put your husband out, he came to _our_ couch, not Sam's. Sam don't give a damn about nobody but Sam, family or not. But, if you don't want me in this RV, I got you, Babygirl."

Cheri sighed and threw her hands up, going back into the house.

Sam's eyes were rolling around. "I think you gave him a concussion!" Stevie fussed.

"He'll live, unlike Matt's family, so… You want me to leave your RV, or not?"

Stevie sighed and snapped, "Just go." She closed the door and went inside. Mercedes was crying. "Don't cry. It's okay. I've got him. We're gonna take him to the hospital, okay?"

.

Stevie called Cheri from the truck and said, "I gotta take Sam to the hospital…"  
"I figured. I hope that your wild ghetto friend didn't wake any of the NINE CHILDREN in our house…"

"Cheri… We can talk about it later."  
"No. We can talk about it right now! You take a break, they pop up, sleep in, borrow the RV and violently attack your brother and you're fine with all of this?"  
"That's not how it happened! Sam was picking a fight. He's been picking them with Mercedes and he was picking one with Matt. Aphasia stepped in and I was trying to keep Mercy from stepping into it when Sam started beating Matt's face off. Did you expect her to try to put him in a headlock? Sam is a BEAST in a fight. Matt is a buttercup."

"And Phai is a banger, I guess. What is she even _doing_ with that? And in our RV? And she's been around our children! I don't want them here anymore. Do what you want, but after they return the RV, they can't be here." He sighed and she hung up.

Stevie slapped Sam in the face and said, "You can't go to sleep Rocky Balboa."

Mercedes was still crying, with her fingers intertwined with Sam's, "Why did you do that, Sam? What were you even thinking?"

He blew out of gust of air and said, "I was thinking about the fact that you didn't even know me, and you were willing to love me, but you know me right now and you're having trouble loving me…"

"I haven't been having any trouble loving you at all!" She fussed. "I was always willing to love you, but when I had no reason to trust you, I chose to. I just wanted you to trust me! What happened tonight was careless and crazy! That woman could have _killed_ you!"

"She wasn't going to," Stevie reiterated.

"I heard her click the thingy on the gun!" Mercedes screeched.

"Yeah, but she's an excellent shot and responsible gun owner. If she wanted to kill him, she would have just shot him. She hit him, then she held it on him to get space between he and Matt… who… IS actually seriously hurt, by the way."

"You said Sam probably has a concussion."

"Yeah. Matt likely has one plus whatever damage Conor McGregor here did."

"I'm almost certain that I broke his nose…" Sam said.

"But I'm the one that needs to work on _my_ temper. I would think that the last person who you would punch in the face would be the person whose family you murdered."

"Stevie…" Mercedes started.

"No. It's the truth. And now, you've brought that shit to my home and into my marriage," Stevie added.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten in a fight with him," Sam said. "I was trying to provoke him. I don't know why I forgot about how terrifying Aphasia is." He started slurring, "You know I one time saw her walk towards a car that was firing an automatic weapon and shoot at them with her handgun? Joe was there! Was crazy! I forgot about that until just now…"

"Sam… You sound weird," Mercedes said.

"We're almost there… Shit…" Stevie said. Sam laughed.

"What? What's going on?"

Stevie sighed, "They're here," he said looking at the RV.

.

Aphasia rolled her eyes when she saw Sam, but Stevie went to the counter to get him checked in and then sat by her. She gave him an attitude, like she was waiting on him to say something smartass to her. "How is he?" Stevie asked.

"How does he look?" She asked back.

Mercedes and Sam sat on the other side of Stevie and Sam said, "I'm sorry…"

"Don't. Even." Aphasia told him. Matt was mumbling a lot of words to himself and Stevie watched in horror. "He's been talking to them nonstop, now."

Stevie got up and went over to Matt and kneeled in front of him."Ruthless. It's me, Stevie. You hear me?" Matt nodded his head. "Can I give you a hug, Man?" Matt sighed and allowed Stevie to give him a hug. Aphasia rubbed Matt's back. "They're not really here, okay? I'm here. Phai is here. Some other people are here, but your family is not here. They're in your heart and your head. They're at rest. Whatever you're seeing - that's not them. Okay?"

Matt whispered, "They seem real."

"They ain't. Hey look…" Stevie cupped Matt's bloodied face and looked into his eyes, "See how you feel my hands and you can tell that's my skin on yours? When I used to see things, I couldn't ever feel that. Whenever I had the chance to try to think about it, I realized… The dead can't reach out and touch you like this. We try to call them back sometimes, when it's real hard to let them go… But they already let go of us when they went to rest." Sam watched Stevie in awe… He knew that his brother had a heart and was a good person, but he had never seen Stevie like this with a friend… and he didn't know Stevie like this. Stevie always seemed so adverse to human contact… To _his_ contact, at least.

"Dre said shut yo hatin' ass up…"

"Ask her what was me and her's secret nickname for Sam," Stevie said.

Matt stared out, "She's drawing a blank."

Stevie shook his head, "No. AC had a memory like a steel trap and _she_ thought up this nickname. That's just not her, Matt." Stevie rubbed Matt's shoulders and Mercedes squeezed Sam's hand. After a while, Stevie went back to his seat and Aphasia whispered, "Way to weaponize Sam's wife, Stevie."

"Please, stop," Stevie begged. "Cheri is banning y'all from the house."

"That's fair," Aphasia said and rubbed Matt's thigh. "But, I will still apologize to her. I would never want to upset your wife and have me and you on bad terms, Who else about to hold my husband and encourage him like that?" Stevie reached for Aphasia's hand and she squeezed his. "He really loves you. Thank you for everything you did this weekend for him. You and Cheri were a godsend. Do you mind if I send that to her?"

"What?"

"Ummm, I taped you. Duh."

"God…"

"Please?" She asked.

"I mean, yeah, sure."

Aphasia texted, "Cheri, I am so sorry about tonight. I promise, I will do whatever I can to make it up to you. In the meantime, thank you so much for helping to make this man a loving human…" She sent the video. Several minutes later, Cheri replied with heart eyes emojis. Aphasia showed Stevie and he blushed, but said, "You're still banned. Trust me." He suddenly turned towards a very quiet Sam to catch him sleeping and slapped him a few times, "No, no!" Sam jumped up and swung and Stevie caught his clumsy but forceful attempt. "You can't go to sleep."

Aphasia winced and said, "Damn, I didn't mean to hit him that hard…"

"You were angry and Matt was hurt. You meant to, you just feel bad now that you see the damage done," Sam said.

"Yeah. I meant to hurt you, but I didn't mean to concuss you, even though you deserved it!" Sam sighed and touched the back of his head. "Do _you_ feel bad for that?" She pointed towards Matt.

Sam nodded, "I feel like the lowest form of scum."

"Good," she said, then finally acknowledged Mercedes, "I'm sorry, Mercedes. How do you feel?"

"Like I have lost my mind, because this night _can't_ be real!"

Sam wrapped an arm around her and the receptionist called for Matt. "See you all," Aphasia said and led him to the back.

"This really happened," Mercedes told herself.

.

Sam was in the church office a few days later when he heard a knock on his door and looked up to see Aphasia. He smiled sadly and held his hand out towards the chair in front of the desk. She sat down and sighed, "So, the police haven't come talk to me, so I guess nobody gave up my name for clocking you with the pistol."

"I have no idea what you're referring to," Sam said. She sighed and bit her lip. "Hey… I was in the wrong. It was self-defense. I wasn't going to try to get you in trouble. How is Matt?"

"Awful," she said and started crying. Sam got up, closed the door and handed her a box of tissues. "When I first met him, he used to see his little sister. You remember?" Sam nodded his head. He remembered, because Matt told him when he confronted him and it was one of his most painful memories. "He got over it. He was free. Sometimes, he has crime scene nightmares, if there's been a publicized death or something. But… lately, he's been seeing her again, since Andrea's death and a few nights ago, he started seeing _all_ of them and Andrea and he started really… tripping. Like… The hospital has chosen to keep him for observation and it doesn't look good. So, when you started going in on him… You, of all people, and me not just being his wife but _knowing_ what he's been through and what he's going through.. Sam, we have got our own shit. And your wife doesn't fit anywhere into it. She brought your shit to the table like everybody else and all they did was lay it down. You don't have any right to even address him, you understand? You never did. The only reason that I got him to talk to you all those years ago was because we wanted the same things. We don't no more. It's fine. I realized when you didn't show up for Andrea that we were done. You never come near Matt again, for any reason."

"Aphasia…"  
"You watched his family be murdered. It was always a wonder that he could stomach looking at you, but now… I don't know if it ever was. It was an act. For all I know, you keep them tethered to his psyche, and you attacked him. After only having to pay for seven years for people he will never see again unless he conjures them up in an emotional breakdown, you put your goddamned hands on him!" She was shaking. "So, please. Lose our information. We'll never ask you to show up for anything and if we happen to be in the same place, I'll pretend a restraining order is in place and give you no less than 50 feet."

"Maybe we could all…"

"Goodbye, Sam. Thank you."

He scoffed, "For what? Watching your husband's family die, falsely accusing him or turning my wife against me, or breaking his face while he was in the midst of a mental crisis?"

"Giving me enough to finally let go of you. I don't feel like I owe you anything, anymore. I should have felt like this a long time ago, but I guess I needed this push. What is it you kind of people say? Everything happens for a reason?" She got up, trashed her tissues and left.

Sam sighed leaned back in his chair and looked up at the sky, "I am actually the worst kind of person. We're supposed to grow stronger and better. I just decay. All of my relationships are in trouble…"

"I just saw Aphasia Rutherford!" Joe cheered, coming into Sam's office. "Sadly, she looked upset but she tried to put on a strong smile when she saw me. Is everything alright?"

"She just came to tell me that she wants nothing to do with me, ever again."

"I'm noticing a pattern, Brother." Sam shuddered and Joe offered, "Should I turn the thermostat?"

"No. I was just thinking that you and Stacie are next. Maybe Dad, for good measure."

Joe gave him a sympathetic smile. "Well, the things that you'd have to do to lose any of us, I can't imagine ever happening, so maybe stick a pin in that. Want me to grab you some lunch?"

"No, I am going to go home and see if my wife will allow me kisses today."

"Things getting better?" Joe asked.

Sam wasn't telling anyone how he got his concussion, but did say, "Nothing like an injury to force some forgiveness." Joe chuckled and shook his head, walking away.

.

Before doing much research about the issues, Jane called Jake. "Hey, Broadway! What's up?"

Confused, he replied, "Just leaving rehearsals. Going to get with Bree, have dinner and crash. What's going on?"

"I am on one of my research expeditions about something that Stevie said. It sounded like the slip of the tongue and it's really been messing with me."

"To the point of research? I'll have to call him and warn him that you're looking into him," he chuckled.

"Actually, I think this one is about the brother. Which is weird, because I don't get why Stevie would ever cover up anything for Sam. I mean, they do that whole, 'But I love my brother' trick for the cameras, but we all know that's a performance."

"He… loves him. I mean, he doesn't want him harmed or anything… But, what are you talking about though?" Jake waved at a couple of castmates that were driving away.  
"Jesse St. James," Jane said. Jake was silent. "You know it. Whatever it is. You know it. I knew you would Stevie tells you everything."

"Actually, Jane - I'm not sure what you're talking about. It was vague and I was trying to think of what you could possibly mean. What _about_ Jesse St. James?"  
"I don't know. _Something._ Stevie said that he and Andrea thought that somebody found out about St. James, with the way that Sam was avoiding social justice fights… or something similar to that. So, naturally, I wondered what that meant. Mercedes gave this half assed explain away about Jesse and Sam being really close back in the day, but honestly - with the exception of a few photos and some testimony transcripts, I couldn't find much to indicate that. What I did find was this history of sexual abuse and assault that Sam and Jesse participated in, which I don't mind telling you - turned my stomach..."

"Well, that's not really something that we bring up for Christmakkuh, but yeah… That happened and it is awful. But, let's be straight about something… They were in a Nazi family, so… How surprised can we be about terrible reports on their behavioral decisions?" Jake sounded nervous. Jane's mama didn't raise no fool. She wasn't forgiving this up that easily.

"I looked at Stevie after Mercedes' explanation and he had on his iron face."

"God bless the iron face." She could tell that he knew she was on to him.

"When the police are questioning him, yeah. When a curious friend is, it's hella suspicious."

"Why do you want to dig into this?" Jake wondered, not annoyed or angry, but honestly curious..

"Because, I trusted a person with a horrible past to sleep in the same place as my children. I don't think that he should lie to me for _any_ reason."

"Did you explain that to him? I think that if you just talked to him and explained how you feel, that Stevie would talk to you about it and hopefully smooth things over. Unless… Are you trying to shine light upon this and bring it out in the open?"  
"Is it something that _needs_ to be out in the open?" She asked.

"I mean… No. I guess, it depends on your justice compass… You have a very honed one, so… I can see why Stevie covered, but I have already said entirely too much and I have tight muscles to tend to. I would advise that you just drop it, but you and me aren't close enough for that so maybe… talk to Phai and if anybody will be willing to talk about it to you, it would be her." Jane was stuck on the phone, blinking in confusion. She had made a note: _In on the big secret - Sam, Stevie, Mercedes, Jake! Phai?_

When she looked up Aphasia and cross referenced it with Jesse, she definitely found more, but it was honestly heartbreaking to look at. For years, the woman had cried out for justice and had not been believed, had been both ridiculed and attacked for speaking up and spent numerous times in court, and out of court without any more money to try, still trying to receive her justice.

In the past four years that she had known them, personally - Jane found out that Sam, Matt & Phai had come together because of common enemies, but everyone had been either very vague about exactly who they were or how it happened. All that she had was Sam's book and it had been both criticized and denounced by several people who had been there.

Quinn Fabray later wrote another book, where she basically said what she actually did versus what it was rumored that she did, and some of the excerpts included unfavorable things about Sam. She had a "If it is untrue, he can always sue," attitude about it. When The R Word franchise kept pressuring her to recant, she sued them for it and for misrepresentation of her character/likeness. The show changed the Quinn character's name, or rather they only called her "Q" afterwards, among other things. Jane was unsure how that show kept going, especially after they killed off the Mercedes character a couple of seasons ago, or whenever, but she was never the market for it, so she couldn't say for sure.

At any rate, she couldn't help but wonder how Aphasia could _possibly_ fit into this bigger picture of wtf is there to find out about St. James? But, she also didn't want to bother her about it. Stirring up something like that, simply for curiosity is not something that she could comfortably do. She wondered if she could finesse it out of Cheri, though. They hadn't spoken in several days. She hadn't even sent her a Happy Holidays text, as her usual Cheri observation.

After the kids finished telling her and Mason about their day and rushed off to go do some arts and crafts before playing outside, she asked Mason, "Think you could whip up an apology basket for Riri for me?"

"I thought you said that she was wrong. You never apologize when you don't think you're wrong," he said suspiciously. Then he realized, "This isn't an apology basket, it's a manipulation basket. Janey…" He gave her a disapproving look.

"Just think of it as your apology for signing on for my manipulation."

"It's none of our business, Jane. Ever think that maybe it's dangerous to be a part of that family's mess? We've done well to stay out of it, so far."

"This is the first thing that has made me get up and get moving since Dre was killed. I don't know why, but I need this."

"Call Stevie. Talk to him. That is the only contribution that I am making to this. Please."

She gave him a soft smile, "Ok, Mace." She kissed him on the cheek and went to his cabinet to grab some things for the basket, which she left on the counter, by his hands. He just sighed and hoped that Stevie ended whatever this tangent of hers was quickly.


	12. The Research

_Dijon Talton's daddy died recently and why my lil' feelings was hurt, since I been actively creating a Matt for all these years with his image in mind? Poor baby._

 _On a more positive note, Cheri definitely went to Coachella this year for the culture. #Beychella_

 _Anyway, I have been doing drafts for aesthetics and inspo for this story that I intend to post throughout the course of torturing myself by writing this/finishing out this saga. My Tumblr blog MySamcedesMadness will have them posted there, if any of y'all are interested.._ :)

 **The Research**

Cheri looked at Jane's face on her phone, pursed her lips and answered, "Yeah."

"Hey! I meant to reach out to you over the holidays, Girl. We've got a basket for you. I'm near your neighborhood, can I bring it by?"

Cheri grabbed her handheld mirror. She wasn't ready to divulge the information to Jane yet, especially with how she was the last time that they spoke. "I'm not feeling up to much company. We had a hell of a weekend."

"Awww, I'm sorry. You wanna talk about it?" Jane asked. After a while, Cheri agreed. When Jane arrived with the basket, Cheri had put on her hair and her face and greeted her with a hug. "You've got something spilled on your driveway…"

"Probably leftover blood," Cheri said.

Jane's eyes grew wide, "Whose blood?"  
"Matt's or Sam's. Matt's, if it happened the way that they said it did."

Jane set the basket down and turned towards her, concerned. "Sam and Matt got into a fight?" She folded her arms, already leaning towards Matt's side. "Over what?"

"Sam came over feeling a way (actually did this a couple of times over the weekend). Then he and Matt had words, so naturally Aphasia jumped in with her crazy self. Fast forward to Matt ready to fight, but obviously wasn't, set to fight because I saw his face on a video that night and it was messed up. Saw Sam the same night, he had a bump on his head and Aphasia did that with her gun!"

Jane was wide-eyed and speechless. "You _have_ had a weekend!" Jane confessed, and moved in to provide a hug. Matt had told her and Stevie that they should take the weekend off, so she hadn't even checked in on Ruthless Revolutionaries since last week when she posted Andrea's full length, edited funeral service. "Now, I feel bad that I was coming over here to try to swindle some family secrets out of you."

"I didn't know what you wanted, but I knew you wanted something," Cheri said and beckoned her to the home library. "What are you wondering about?"

"Some kind of secret between Sam and Jesse St. James." Cheri squinted her eyes and shook her head. "No - you don't know or no - you're about to not tell me too."

"I don't know why you want to know about that, is what."

"It started out as curiosity, grew into a semi-obsession and now hearing that Sam put Matt's blood in your driveway this weekend, it may be a witch hunt. I don't know. Give me something to help direct my path."

"I can't. I'd have to talk to Stevie about this."

"Seems like Stevie is the person to talk to. Or Aphasia, and I don't want to do that, at all! But… You play St. James' wife on TV… You never got any inside info of anything?"  
"The show hasn't been on the same path as the real story in a really long time. It was it's own thing before I even got there and our arch is ALL speculation." Cheri sighed and smiled, "But… I mean, if you want to talk about just life in general, I am so down for that. I need something lowkey. I feel like we've been on "E" for extra since I got back into town. Tell me about what you've got going on. I could use the breather. I spent Easter with the Evanses and Harts. What did my McCarthys do?"

Jane smiled and took Cheri's hand. Her homegirl was being very clear right now. Jane wasn't going to get a peep out of her.

.

Sam and Mercedes had in depth conversations about the book of Acts over the years. It was a Bible chat beacon between them. Lately, all of the conversations and notes came back, as the church as a whole would be studying it and going over it in all of the classes.

Mercedes felt like it was a good time to begin starting on some changes on her show. She began with notes for a segment based on Acts. She was going to tie in the apostles' miracles with modern day activism and speak about her belief in the direct correlation between faith with works and social activism.

In her conversations with Sam, she spoke her mind, but left out her intentions. If he was watching the show, he'd see and if he wasn't, there was no need to rehash any fights, especially after he'd completely lost it Resurrection weekend.

So, while working on her story, she worked on smoothing over her homefront. She wondered if Matt was still going to be willing to appear on the show, but was ashamed and a bit afraid to ask about it, after the fight.

Sam hadn't been in a physical fight in ages. They thought that if he ever did again, it would be he and Stevie. There was one time that if Dwight and Mama T hadn't jumped in front of their faves, it was going to happen. But instead, it was somehow Matt.

For years, Matt hadn't wanted much to do with Sam. They weren't friends but not necessarily enemies. Matt had plenty of criticism of Sam, but didn't openly work against him as he had in the past. After Sam was departed from the R Word, there was no need. Plus, with Stevie and Matt becoming friends, Sam was someone that Matt considered "Stevie's."

If there was a Sam problem for Matt, it was up to Stevie to handle. There honestly hadn't been any. Even when Stevie and Phai were pissed about Sam not coming around for Andrea… Matt wasn't particularly bothered. He had no real expectations of Sam. He still obviously had not expected an angry showdown.

Sam tried sucking up to Matt for years, but eventually realized that there simply could be no middle ground with history like theirs. But, when Stevie became Matt's unofficial right hand man, Sam couldn't help but to feel like it was a chess move. Matt was most definitely cunning enough to use Stevie against him, if he wanted to. (He didn't.)

Sam thought that Stevie's attitude towards him was a result of Matt's influence, and to a certain degree, it was. Stevie felt like he owed Matt, and Sam had nothing that he could give that would ever fix things. His brother's soul seemed like a trade that made him feel guilty. "You don't have to be Matt Rutherford's slave because I hurt him," Sam had said.

Stevie was insulted that Sam thought he was simple and that Sam didn't believe that MAYBE Matt actually respected and cared for him as a friend, ally, and business associate. Sam doubted it. He doubted it all of the time, but expressing to Stevie to be careful around Matt had the opposite effect, so Sam stopped and simply watched as his brother damn near replaced him with someone who hated his guts…

From the scene at the hospital, which numerous people recorded on their cell phones and released online, hell - Stevie and Matt were as close as Stevie and Jake… Both of them closer to his own brother than he was. Sam could admit that when he should have been working on rebuilding his relationship with his brother, he was more career oriented. Once Stevie began working too, Sam began establishing his church and they each had more children - it just became a comfortable distance between them… Until they had to come together and somebody's politics or religion came up.

Now, Sam was determined to get back to good with Stevie. Stevie was his little brother and he was trying to mend a failing marriage back together, cope with his wife's illness, depart from his main passion and quite frankly his life's work AND in addition to that, he had one dead friend and one who Sam had just injured, literally adding injury to insult and insult to injury. From any angle that Sam tried to look at this; he never should have put his hands on Matt. He shouldn't have called Aphasia out of her name, but he should really had not hit Matt, either. He'd put Stevie in a tough position of having to choose between friend and family. Stevie had chosen him, if he thought about it. Matt was far more hurt. Stevie easily could have made Sam have to call an ambulance and left with his hurt friend. But, he'd left Matt to his wife and he didn't leave Sam's side until the doctor gave him all of the information that he needed.

Aphasia had made herself clear that she didn't want to have anything to do with Sam, but Sam would always bear this guilt. After everything he put Matt through, he also fought him and won. Sam sent out an order for a few gift baskets. He would have gotten Stacie to do it, but he was still waiting on someone else to tell her how far from what she asked him to do he had done and for her to come storming into his office to tell him off about it. So, he ordered them from Mason. He had to call Stevie, though…

"Hello?"

"Hey - I am trying to order gift baskets from Mason's company… What kind of stuff would make for a good Get Well slash I'm Sorry basket?"

"For Ruth?" Stevie asked.

"Who else?"

"You fucked up a lot this weekend, so…"

"For Matt, specifically and for Aphasia…"

"Matt likes spa sets. He has a very involved manicure and pedicure habit. If it's a get well, Mason will usually ask particulars to know what kind of tea or oils to use. Would you like me to place it for you?"

"No, I want to have to do every bit of work that it takes to do this."

"Phai is not gonna accept your gift."

"I know, but I want her to know that I'm sorry…"

"That's kinda selfish, though. She wants you to stay away from her and not to contact her. Just, leave her out of it."

"And Matt too?"

"You and Matt had history before either of you knew her. And, he hasn't said anything about it but that he doesn't blame me and that he doesn't expect me to choose between you. I'd say he'd be open for a gift, even if he won't be ready to forgive… But, skip Aphasia. Honestly, it'd be really disrespectful of you and I feel like you're trying to help. You can't." There was a pause, then Stevie said, "But, if you want to send an anonymous show of support, I'd recommend that."

"What's my best choice on that option?"

"Donations to the women and children's fund on the website," Stevie said. "It's right around scholarship time, too."

"Anonymous donations seem so impersonal."

"Yeah, but she personally doesn't want to have anything to do with you."

"Maybe I should kill another rapist," Sam joked. Stevie was silent. "Sorry. Joke sucked, I know."

"Oh, you were joking. Well, I mean… I don't think that will win her over, but I know that she would be impressed. In case you weren't joking."

"I completely was! For God's sake, Stevie!"

"Do you need anything else? Jane and Cheri are doing something and I think that I am going to end up with the McEvans minis." Sam wanted to offer Stevie some company, but he had things to do all day long.

"Does Aphasia like flowers?" He asked.

Stevie sighed and said, "Not from you, she don't."

"From an anon, though…"

"I'll take care of it," Stevie said, then just hung up. Sam sighed and hung up, as well. _What did that even mean? Was Stevie going to give her something anonymous on behalf of him? She'd know who it was from… Unless he'd pretend it happened through the site while Stevie was helping pick up the slack..._  
At any rate, he looked at Mason's 'Pamp(her) Packages.' He tried to find the most expensive one and sighed… Stevie didn't suggest a scent/flavor for Matt. He searched for spa things, then finally just called Mason, because he still had his phone number for if Mercedes was over.

"Hello?" Mason answered, cheerfully.

"Hi, Mason. This is Sam Evans."

"Hi, Mr. Evans! How can I help you?"

"I wanted to order a combination gift basket for a get well and an apology for Matt Rutherford."

"Matt's unwell? Oh, no! I hadn't been told. They leave me out so much. Well, I can definitely arrange something for you. How big does your apology need to be?"

"The biggest that you can arrange," Sam said.

"I'm afraid to ask what you did…" Mason said.

"Well… I'm embarrassed to say, but it was extremely bad. Stevie told me that Matt likes spa things, but I wasn't sure what scent or whatever he would enjoy."

"That's easy! Plumeria."

"That's… easy? Because you know him, or…?"

"Because it is literally the only scent that he ever orders for his wife. I've had to special order oils to make her things and I have it stored away with their names on it. If he's getting well, that means that she might have to do some of the house stuff by herself, therefore - a bit of distance between them. I'm thinking he gets the plumeria, it's like having her in his sense while he gets his rest."

"Good thinking. Do you know if she likes flowers?"

"Yes! She like plumeria, peonies, and jasmine. Would you like me to arrange something for her, too?"

"Yeah… But, if you could have it be anonymous…"

"Okay, that's no problem. I might have to get with your sis on this or else order something online. I don't know if I have access to these flowers…"

"Online, please. I'd like to leave Stacie out of this."  
"So many secrets in your family," Mason mused as he scribbled on a piece of paper.

"What do you mean?" Sam wondered.

Mason quickly said, "Just a pattern I've observed for being Stevie's bro for a bit."

Sam chuckled, "My brother has so many brothers." Mason held the phone silently for a while. "Well, don't tell him about the flowers either. Just send them anonymously to her and I don't know… what does _she_ like?"

"I only know the kind of stuff that Matt and Stevie give her."

"Stevie… gives her things?"

"Oh, yeah. Stevie's very giving to her."

"That's weird, how you said that."

"I didn't mean for it to be. He's got a complex about them, you know? His brother and Matt's history. He kidnapped her and was going to be charged with killing her, if she hadn't escaped and fought her way free. He's always atoning for these things and the things that he can't talk about."

"Do they take advantage of him?" Sam asked. Mason wasn't a tattler, but he wasn't a liar, either.

"Never. They try to get him to stop being so subservient. They love him like family. You know, he's around the age of Matt's youngest sister and Matt sort of treats him like a little brother. I mean, I do too, but the difference is that they've both had siblings and the things that they thought that they might find in their siblings, they found in each other… which to me is essentially how friendship works, so no need to be envious or suspicious. I love Stevie, too. If they weren't kind to him, I would try to put space between he and them."

"I just worry about him out there in a dangerous world, being a box of assorted puzzle pieces that got mixed in together."

"He's fine without you, but if you want to be there; you have _got_ to understand that. You can't be in his life because you think that he can't do without you. Just, do what you were doing when we first met. You'd meet with him for general conversation and stuff. He'll make the time, if he doesn't think that you'll try to have some type of talk with him about how he needs to change something."

"Am I really that bad?"

"I don't think so. I think that the moment you disagree, he's reminded of all of the things that you don't approve of. From what I've seen, you're a very good person. Even right now, you're trying to fix something that you did wrong. But, Stevie sometimes feels like you don't think that he's a good person and whether or not he ever admits it, that validation from you could be so enriching towards his life. He sought it out elsewhere. The people that Stevie keeps close? People who see his good. Your stepmom, Jake, me, Riri, Matt, Aphasia… The ones that think he's great as is. The ones that he distances himself from - I won't make a list, but… It's usually the ones that see his potential and think that he's not living up to it."

"He isn't," Sam said.

"Maybe not, but if he's reaching his goals and is content, why should his potential matter?" Mason asked.

.

Jane had about a dozen tabs open on each of her laptops and the desktop computer. She was scribbling notes and making phone calls. Unsure of why this was so important to her, but unable to stop herself as she now was on the verge of whatever it was that she was looking into. She heard a knock and looked over to see Major in the opening at the bottom of the stairs. "Hello! I didn't realize that you were home!"

Major offered, "You should probably take a break, Mommy." Jane nodded her head, grabbed her cell phone and met with Major where she stood. "What are you working on?"

"Don't worry about that, Mage. How was your day?" Jane said. Wtf _was_ she working on? Whenever she started researching the St. James family and the Evans family, the most scandalous thing that she found, in addition to the allegations that St. James was a part of the Rutherford executions was the suspicion of Sam Evans after Jesse St. James' death. She dug up the footage of the incident and accidentally came across "leaked footage" from the Rutherford incident and quickly reported it. Nobody needed to see anything half as gruesome as the description of that night, much less actual footage! But, what was most curious were the interviews that she was finding.

The number of people who said things like, "I never would have guessed this about him," vs the number of people who said, "I always knew that he was like that," were almost split down the middle in volume. However, only black and brown people seemed to have thought him capable. The nonbelievers - almost exclusively white. One black person that she happened to find whenever she was searching who was reluctant to admit of any wrongs on his part was Giselle's mother. "Giselle said nothing but good things about him and loved him with her entire heart. She never would have done anything to harm him, even if that Puckerman boy did - it must have been that he did it on his own. My daughter was a peaceful person and she believed that Jesse was a peaceful person, too."

 _She believed that Jesse was a peaceful person too._ What a bizarre way to support someone, Jane had thought, coming back to it over and over throughout her various calls. The woman vanished shortly afterwards. Jane guessed that she must have either been paid to disappear or that she must have gone into witness protection, or something. She wanted so badly to just ask her, "What did _you_ believe about Jesse?" Jane liked to think that a mother would know if her child was being abused. The thought of Major or Mason II, for that matter, being abused by someone and her not having an inkling that it was happening was terrifying… but sometimes, people tried to convince themselves that there was no way that it was happening.

However, after Jesse's death, despite all of the denial of so many, recorded evidence had been found of several victims of Jesse St. James and multiple accessories over his long career of predation, and much of the footage was of he and his wife. All of that later vanished, as well and became "rumors," for anybody who couldn't track down any of the remaining leaks online. The stuff that people would put out there was sickening, however… It could be helpful sometimes, when a family was rich and powerful enough to erase tangible evidence. But, none of that made much sense paired with Stevie's slip. "If somebody had found out about St. James," only made sense if there was something that 1. Was hard for most people to discover and 2. Could affect Sam Evans.

"It's not really our business," Mason had cheerfully told her during the pillow talk sesh that she mentioned Stevie's spill.

"Mason McCarthy, if Stevie has confided in you anything pertaining to this, I am cashing in my wife card for that information!"

"He's never actually admitted to anything, but I've gathered from the various times it was was referenced that he and Jake knew something that I simply couldn't know about Sam and Jesse."

Jane thought that she had found the dirty secret out when she went looking for it. In the Schuester trials, when establishing character content and crimes that William knew about, there was testimony that Sam had recorded various assaults on women, accompanied by Jesse. Gross. Just, disgusting and gross and _she_ certainly hadn't known. She never would have dropped her children off at his, if she had and never would again. She dgaf how much time had passed. But, she figured that couldn't be it because this was mentioned on the full transparency page of the Pastor's Bio on his church website. So, it was something else and she REALLY wanted to know, what it could be when he was bold enough to actually tell people about these other past sins - all irrefutable proof, as far as she was concerned that he was incapable of being responsible for _anybody's_ goddamned soul. What on earth could it even be? Because there was even murder there, though framed as self defense while in prison… She had mixed emotions about these types of things. Sometimes, people's lives were on the line and the prison system was atrocious, so that made her go easier on that. But the deaths of innocents that got him put in there in the first place waived her sympathy and she was simply done with him forever when viewing the sexual assault association. She had a lot against Stevie, and not even Stevie was this damned bad in his day! Or, at least not that she knew of. This was why she didn't trust most men in general. They're ugly secrets, even their known pasts could be drenched in oppression and violence and they could go on to lead functional lives.

.

Jane made a recording on her phone, "April 12, 2018. If Sam Evans has gotten away with something, then it needs to be busted wide open. He's all of the things about America that unbalances it. He is the epitome of the concepts and practices that we fight against, hence the reason that he is so averse to his wife being on our knows from whence his power comes. It comes from his skin color. It comes from the associated privilege of said skin. He took what he knew to be true and tweaked it. He is a white, straight, cisgender, affluent, Christian, American male. He has virtually no marginalizations. His prison sentence is thought to be a failure of the justice system. But, for different purposes depending on who you ask. Any white person will tell you that he was a misled child who simply kept the wrong company. But, I can tell you that he was complicit, had no remorse, actively hated marginalized people and I intend to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that the monster inside of him is still there and he was not reformed during his stay in prison. He should still be there. He should go back."

She heard a knock on her door and she covered up the wall that she had began to set up before opening it. Mason was holding a platter and wearing a confused face, "You've started locking this door now?"

"I don't want one of the kids to walk in and see my notes and wonder why their friends' dad is part of my current work."

Mason sighed, "I don't want you to keep doing this. He's a nice man."

"Your parents are nice people. They are also people who think that protesters deserve to be run over with cars, _despite_ the fact that they know that that's almost happened to me _twice_ since you married me. They believe that police are here to protect us, despite the fact that they know that I have been a victim of police brutality twice. Being nice doesn't make a person good."

"And my parents are not great, but I wouldn't want you investigating them and trying to destroy them either," He said.

She sighed, "I shouldn't have brought them up. That was unfair and unkind."

"They are who they are. That's why I never see them."

"Mage and Mace don't even remember them."

"They get holiday cards with family photos. For all I know, they don't even see our kids like they do the others."

Jane gave him a sympathetic half smile. She had never asked him to cut his parents off or even expected him to, but he probably knew that she would have felt slighted if he expected her and their children to be subjected to the type of things that they would say whenever she was there. She had long since unfriended them from her social media, because they would get into arguments with her friends in comments, then play victims when someone clapped back. They would try to convince Mason, when she wasn't around that they understood that his wife was wealthy, but that he didn't have to be emasculated by her and conform to her "racist" viewpoints. Whenever Jane began ForTSWAH, Mrs. McCarthy straight up told Mason that he ought to divorce her, and take the children and his half of her money, adding on, "No judge in this country would grant her them over you." He'd gotten extremely upset, angry and raged out of their home, but accepted her apology after he had a chance to cool off. The election was the last straw.

 _They had been much nicer to Jane when they thought that she was just a girl that he liked in high school. His father's sex talk read like a weird fetishizing locker room chat about Jane's features and his understanding of why Mason was 'dipping into that particular honeypot." Mason wastoo young and dependent to be properly offended by it. He thought it was cool that his dad was so open about the subject._

 _Whenever she went off to college, they spoke like it was over. They didn't have much faith in the long distance of it all, especially because they were online friends with Jane at the time and she seemed to be enjoying her life to the fullest and had so many male friends. After the engagement, they got weird. They no longer were as supportive. They blamed their ages and college and were disagreeable about it actually happening._

 _Jane finished with her first double degree and came back closer to home for Mason and to be married to him and they were - like she said - always nice, but they didn't like her anymore. They no longer wanted her with their son, because they never really wanted her in their family. Jane didn't have to be around them much, so she never made a big deal out of it and let Mason figure things out for himself, without ever accusing them of the things that she knew they were doing. She never called them on their dog whistle politics. She debated with them over more blatant stances, but kept it as cordial and professional as she would if it had been in a business setting. But, she was relieved when Mason told her that he didn't want her to have to deal with them and he certainly didn't want them to have access to the children. In her heart and mind, she heard a chorus of angels singing, but her eyes saw her wounded husband, trying to live with that heavy decision and she comforted him as best as she could. "They're the main reason that my parents didn't trust you," she admitted. "They think that parents mold their offspring into altered smaller versions of themselves. They believe that some of those poicies have to be somewhere inside of you…"_

" _Will they like me more when they know that I cut them off?" Mason wondered, slightly excited about the possibility of finally winning Jane's parents over._

" _I think it's a start!"_

Mason took his free hand and grabbed Jane's, "Enough working. Come eat and talk with me."

.

Sam smiled brightly when Jane came into his church office and shook her hand. "Jane, I was actually quite shocked to see that you were in my appointments. Honestly, you could have just stopped by the house, if you wanted to talk."

"Could I have? I thought that you liked to keep people like me far away from your home life."

He flinched, ever so slightly, but she definitely caught it. "I'm not even sure what you mean by _that._ "

"I believe Mercedes described us as 'people who run towards the risks,' or something in that crux."

"Is that what this meeting is about?" He wondered, already prepared to cut it short.

"No, but it is something that appears to be just as troubling, if not more," she said. He moved to close the door and she tensed up. "I'd like that open, if you don't mind. We don't have to speak loudly, since I realize that your brother-in-law is right across the hall…"

He raised an eyebrow, but returned to his seat, leaving the door open. "What can I help you with, Jane?"

"Some details. About Jesse St. James," she said, reaching into her messenger bag to pull out some files. "I've been researching him for a project in my downtime. There's a lot of mystery about him that I think only somebody who knew him as well as you did might be able to help me with."

Sam barely reacted to the mention of Jesse's name, because Mercedes had already told him that Stevie mentioned this to Jane, so he wasn't completely jolted by this. He was curious though, "What is the project and how do you think I can help?"

"There's something about him that is not out there. Some secret about his life or death that we've all missed."

"Why do you think that?" He asked.

"I think you know why," she said.

He smiled again, still friendly, but a little alarming to her. She just didn't know him well enough to know if she was in any kind of danger or what kind he was capable of. He'd beaten her friend bloody outside of his brother's home - someone who is close to the victim and if he had done what she thought… This was unwise, but she had to follow through. She wasn't sure why, but she needed to know this. "My brother said something to you. Why didn't you simply ask him?"

"Well, I was going to do that. Because everyone that I talked to passed it on to someone else, but I think I opened up something with Jake when I spoke to him about it… With his brother having murdered this man, it's a painful subject to bring up to him. He tried to direct me to Stevie or Aphasia… But, with Aphasia's history with this person, of course I'm not going to go to her and Stevie is working on relaxing, too. I think that _you're_ the person to talk to, because I think you're involved in the missing portion."

"Are you wearing a wire?" Sam asked, curiously, but it sounded menacing.

"Why would I be? Is this an incriminating conversation?" Her eyes were wide.

"It seems like you want it to be. Matt and I had a fight and now, you're here to try to dig up dirt on me and Jesse St. James, who I honestly would rather never think about ever again."

"You killed him, didn't you?" She came straight out and asked. Originally, she intended to go through a list of other possibilities, but Sam's stone face less readable than Stevie's and his smile was even more unnerving than Stevie's was when she first met him.

"As far as everyone knows, Noah Puckerman killed him," Sam said. "If I had killed him, that would mean that I covered it up, somehow. Honestly, when Jesse St. James died, I didn't have a dime to my name. I was only a few months out of prison, still living off of Babydoll's generosity and not liked by any of her friends. I wonder how I would have ever have been able to pull something like that off, without any type of help. Especially considering how wealthy and popular the St. Jameses are in this town. How would I ever manage to do that?"

"There's a lot of thought that the wife was involved. She had access to St. James money. Maybe, she would be able to help someone make him go away," Jane said. "Honestly, I don't know. What do you think that you would have done, _if you had_ thought to do it?"

His smile was gone and he got up to close the door, this time for real. She held on to her seat and he leaned against the door, speaking quietly and he typed on his phone. "I think that if I had killed Jesse St. James, there would have to have been a conspiracy for it to even work out. There would have to be enough people who hated him enough or supported me enough to go along with it and to do their part to sell it. To this day, all of us would be settled upon a lie and if the lie was uncovered, it would hurt every single one of them. Everyone would be guilty of _at least_ accessory to murder. People that I have come to love so much that I would never put them in such a position would be in a very bad position, if I had done this and you or anyone were to find something that proves that."

"So, you would be keeping this a secret to protect them, not yourself?" She asked and raised an eyebrow.

He held his hands out, "That's always my biggest concern."

"Can you open that door back, please?" She asked. He opened it and she stood up. "Sorry to have wasted your time."

"I'm sorry that you didn't find what you were looking for. Also, I'm worried about you. _If_ there is somebody out there who had this type of conspiracy that you mentioned in place, I can't help but wonder how important you are to them, in comparison of what or who they stand to lose."

"That sounded like a threat."

"I have never made a threat in all of my life. And if I were the type to make threats, why would I, unless you were coming after me?"

She stepped closer to him on her way out of the door, stood face to face with him and asked, "Do you prey on the innocent, to cover up your guilt? I'm not afraid of wolves, even in sheep's clothing."

"You seemed plenty afraid when you wanted this door open, but I'm no threat to you, Jane. You're a threat to yourself. I'd expect nothing less than for you to run towards danger."

"I'm always concerned when I have to be around dangerous white men, but I still am willing to fight them."

Sam reached out to shake her hand again, but she sidestepped him and left the office and the church. He looked down at his phone at the texts between himself and Stevie.

 _Sam: Whatever it is that you said to your friend Jane, you need to fix it._

 _Stevie: I don't know what this is in reference to._

 _Sam: St. James._

 _Stevie: Okay… I'll help her out._

.

Jane was almost to her car when she saw that Stevie was calling and answered it with an, "Did he send you in as reinforcements?"

"He contacted me for damage control, for my own mistake. Can you meet me at Matt's?"

"Matt's? That's far… and… wait… Is _Matt_ part of this? Of course, he is. Sam wouldn't have had the resources to do something like that. He'd need an ally like Matt. And now, they're fighting..."

"Please stop giving yourself ideas and just meet us, okay?"

"Yeah. See you in about an hour."


	13. The Reveal

**The Reveal**

Stevie and Aphasia had been outside talking whenever Jane pulled into Matt's driveway, then talked on her phone for a little while. Aphasia mentioned receiving flowers and a gift basket and knew that it must have been from Sam. "When I wanted him to act like he cared, he refused. I tell him to leave me alone and he gets mad annoying."

"I warned him not to. That's why I told you that if you get something anonymous to just try to enjoy it. What'd he send, anyway?"  
"Something that you'd send, to be honest."

"Mason," they both said. By that time, Jane was coming out of the car and cautiously approached, to Aphasia's surprise. "What's happening, Ma? I'm not used to _you_ being shy."

"Being wary. Heard you went upside somebody's head with a pistol not too long ago," Jane tried to joke, but she was shaking.

Aphasia moved in for a hug, startling her in the process and announced, "Well, you'd be downright pissing yourself if you knew how I do when I actually was trying to hurt somebody. Let's go inside and sit down."

"Can we talk out here? I'm a little bit rattled by a few things. And where is Matt?"

Stevie said, "I sent you an email. Guess you were busy. Matt's at a hospital, right now."

"What did your animal of a brother _do?"_

Aphasia said, "He's at a mental health center getting some closure. Sam _did_ attack him, but that's not what his hospital stay is for."

Jane nodded, "Well… Is this a story that takes longer than 30 minutes, because I'm trying to call Mason every half hour."

Aphasia finally stopped smiling and she shook her head, "Jane… You know that you're like a little sister to Matt. Why are you so frightened? This is just me, you and Stevie, talking. Like friends. Like comrades. I don't understand what has you upset."

"Maybe Sam Evans threatening me inside of his church because I guessed that he killed Jesse St. James!" Jane said.

Stevie shook his head, "Sam's a lot of things, but he don't make threats."  
"Yeah, he makes promises. I got the inference when he told me."  
"What exactly did he say?" Stevie wondered.

"Does it matter? Are you going to tell me that I misunderstood?" Jane asked. Stevie shrugged his shoulders. "He said that somebody might not take kindly to me digging around and that he was worried for me and wondered if the person that I was after cared about me enough not to hurt me."

"Ahh, I get it. He was warning you to be careful," Stevie said. "Sam would never hurt you. I promise. He barely likes to handle the guilty. He'd never hurt an innocent."

Aphasia interrupted, "I think the better course of action is to remind you that you aren't in any danger. Jane - I'm not letting anybody do anything to you. I wouldn't sign off on that ever." Stevie raised an eyebrow, which Jane of course noticed. So, _he_ was the one that she might have to worry about. He was a killer. He'd killed before and had told them many times that only Jake stopped him from killing again. He wasn't even going to fret about it. He had even said that he wished that he hadn't listened to Jake, because he could have stopped a mass shooting by killing that guy… "Honestly, we brought you here to ask for mercy," Aphasia told her.

"Mercy?"  
"By now, you know that we're in this thing…"

"Can you please hand me that phone?" Stevie asked, eyeing the thing in her hand. It was recording. "I'll be sure to give it back when it's time to tell Mason that you're fine."

She held it out towards him, "If he doesn't hear from me, everything that I have will be sent to the police, the news, the St. James family, and my family."

"I get it. You never cared about us and you're declaring war," Stevie said and snatched the phone away from her fingers, stopped and deleted the recording.

"That's ridiculous. I started this because of your little slip of the tongue. I was just curious what you would lie to me about, since we're supposed such trusted friends. I uncovered horrible things and I feel like it's _you_ who is being brand new, right now. Stevie… what I am doing to Sam is _what_ we do. We do this to Nazis every single day of the week."  
"I do worst, but you're not doing this to _my_ family, and you're damned sure not doing it to Matt and Phai," he said.

Jane reached for her afro and took a soft handful. "I don't even fully KNOW what it is that I'm supposedly doing to them! This is a classic Nazi got away scenario and Ruthless puts them down all of the time. Now, because it's your brother, he gets a pass?"

"It's not about him. It's bigger than him," Aphasia said. "That's why I call mercy."

"You deserved to be able to get some vengeance on that prick. I don't care that Jesse St. James is dead. I think it should have happened _sooner._ The thing is that this allegedly reformed man killed only months after being wrongfully released from prison, in the first place. Matt _never_ felt like he should have been let out, and he was right. It took him less than a year to kill again? He beat blood out of your husband in a driveway very recently. That sounds like a person that we let slide?"

"No. But, he can't go down for this. He could bring all of us down with him," Aphasia said.

"Well, according to him, his main concern is all of you, so why doesn't he just take all of the blame and refuse to implicate anyone else? Why _would_ he let it touch you?"

"He can't control what somebody else might find if an investigation is opened up! Bae… Listen to me. Understand this reach. I know you've been waiting to hear this statement, so I will grant it to you: Sam killed Jesse." Jane sighed. It was refreshing to hear that and not imagine that she was tripping. "It is done and we've established that he deserved it and more. The fallout, though? I was there. I watched. I recorded it. I didn't call for help. I didn't do anything but continue my recording. Tina helped destroy evidence of the murder." Jane gasped. That was surprising. So shocking, even knowing how close Sam and Tina currently are - that was still a lot.

"I tried to use it against Matt by threatening to use it against Giselle St. James, in order to coerce him to help Sam, because Sam did it for me. He came to visit me, to apologize and yeah - all he did was stir shit up and didn't seem willing to come clean, when I wanted justice! He sought out a different way and I was grateful. I hated him, but I was grateful!"

"He was a _part_ of what happened to you!"  
"And I have never forgotten or forgiven him for that, but I felt something towards him for sending that devil to hell and I didn't want him punished for it. Matt almost got killed over this secret. He wasn't trying to help Sam yet, but Giselle, and she tried to kill him and wound up dead instead. When it was usable though, Tina had an idea to let a deceased Noah Puckerman take the fall. She convinced their friends that he would want to risk it so that they wouldn't all go down or be hurt, since he was already dead and his name was all that he could contribute."

Jane sniffled, "And Jake _knows_ this?"

"Told him when I first met him," Stevie said.

Aphasia added, "He was angry with Mercedes and I for a long time, but ultimately didn't want to see us suffer for this. Having all of us fall for his brother's name didn't seem worth it to him."

Jane sat down on the concrete and Aphasia sat right next to her. Stevie just watched them. Phai continued, "So, Dre and Matt used Matt's resources to create the buzz and push the Puck narrative. None of us knew that it would go this far. We had no idea that Sam would be who he is now. We thought that it was a simple move in a fight against the Schuesters and their white sheets faction. And now, all of them, as well as Mercedes, Mike and Cheri would be accomplices, because they have this secret that we've honestly been better off not thinking about, because he deserved nothing and Puck was no angel, either. Did he deserve to be labeled a murderer? Maybe not… But he's labeled a Nazi murderer, not a child murderer…"

"Like Sam!" Jane said.

"Enough!" Aphasia snapped.

"Sam can't be tried again for Matt's family, but if he were tried for Jesse St. James, _maybe_ he can receive the actual justice that he should have gotten for the Rutherfords!"

"Or maybe everyone could find out about Matt's part in this, AC's part… and shame her memory, and discredit all of the work that Ruthless Revolutionaries has done in all of the following years. Matt didn't even WANT to participate. It was a last option when he signed on to it. He's _always_ trying to do the right thing. Much like you are right now, but this time… It could harm us, your kindred. Sam is one trash human, but not enough to undo everything and bring this shadow over all of us. Right? Not even for Matt's family, and that is a bold stand, because Matt is in the hospital _right now_ because of his family and he still would never sign on for this to be opened up!"

Stevie finally spoke again, "Jane, I know that you and I are more like forced associates, via our mutual friends and our spouses, but I have cared about you as part of Ruthless for at least two years and before that as a friend of the family. Don't make this hard on us. We're trying to do what's best for everybody."  
She didn't reply. Stevie sat on the other side of her and she tensed up. "I always knew that5 Puck didn't kill Jesse. I even knew who killed Puck. Matt had been framed and blamed, but it came out later that it was actually a murder. I trained with the person who was sent to do it. When Jake and I fought Max, when I didn't kill him when I knew that it was going to blow up in our faces later, I told Jake. I told him that the Nazis had always known, but never brought it back up, so the danger from them was uncertain, still is. But the danger that my family and my loved ones could be in, because everyone involved could be hurt, harmed, or killed, or at the very least have their lives ruined if these facts became public or were scrutinized too heavily. I let Max go, knowing he could cause that and I had to watch my loved ones suffer the trauma of him firing at us. I promised myself, after I watched Cheri cry, thinking I would die and I watched my sister go into a state of shock for all the carnage that she witnessed that if somebody is mine, they have my protection and that means I will do _anything_ to protect them. I really don't want you to make me hurt you, Jane."

She jumped up and moved back from him. He simply looked at her, as calm and casual as ever, but his eyes were full of mixed emotions and it was terrifying. "It's like I don't know _any_ of you!"

Aphasia sighed and stood up, "Jane, you know me. I'm trying to help us, all of us…"

Stevie stood back up too and cut her off, "I'm trying to tell you that I'm not even the only dangerous person in this group, or the most protective." He wasn't going to say anything about Tina's history, which he now knew, but did say, "At least a couple of them have killed before and covered it up. I'm telling you to your face, and hoping that you believe me when I say that if it has to be you or them, it will be you. And I'm not going to hint. I'm not going to bullshit. If you continue to pursue this, I will kill you Jane."

"No," Aphasia said and shook her head.

"This is just threaten the fuck out of Jane day, I see."

"This is… Please, Don't Be Foolish, Jane Day." He had tears in his eyes, "It would break my heart to have you on the other side of my protection." He glanced at her phone and handed it back, "Time to call Mason. Tell him that I love him and I'm sorry that it has to be like this."

Aphasia commented, "Stevie, nobody is hurting Jane."

"She's too dangerous," he said.

Jane called Mason, and he sounded frantic, "Jane! Oh God, I was worried! You were two minutes late. I was going to give it five, but I was so scared. Where are you?"

"With Stevie and Aphasia."

"I thought you were going somewhere dangerous. Please, tell me what is happening! I'm looking at this stuff that you were going to have me send off and it's all about Sam. What did you get into?"  
"I got on the other side of Stevie's protection. He threatened to kill me," she said and sniffled.

"WHAT? Where is he? Oh my God… Janey… Are you okay? Can you get away?" She could barely hear Aphasia loud whispering, talking Stevie down as she kept her eyes on them while she backed away to her car. "Jane!"

"I'm on my way home. Get everything together. Get ready. We're leaving. I can't handle this. I don't know these people, but they aren't who I thought they were…"

"What are you…"

"They're _all_ involved! They all helped cover it up! For all I know, they _do_ this. Stevie… He's speaking to me like this is normal for him…" She got into the car and was too shaken up to move. "This started out as a curious study, Mason. I just wanted to know what he was hiding… and… he…"

"Stay on the phone with me. If anything sounds off, I am sending all of this shit to everyone that I can, okay?"

"You have to pack. We need to leave," she said, sadly looking at Aphasia and Stevie watch her drive away.

"I need to go after her," Stevie said.

"No, you need to leave her alone before Mason sends out whatever she has."

"She's a goddamned liability now, Phai. Fuck whatever feelings you had for her before."  
"No. She's another black woman that I am not going to let Jesse St. James _ruin._ Jane isn't going to tell anybody about this. She's afraid and hurt, but she would never do that to all of us."  
"You can't know that," Stevie said.

"I know this… _If_ you hurt her, _I_ will never forgive you. Does that matter to you?"

He shut his eyes tightly and said, "You _know_ that it does."

"Then, that's that. Trust me. She's not a threat. She bit off way more than she could chew and she's going to spit it out and leave the table." She folded her arms. "You need to go to your happy place and blow off some steam. You shouldn't be openly threatening anybody. I don't care how much we stand to lose." He nodded his head once and began to leave, but she grabbed his arm. "No. I want you to hang out, just for a while longer."

"You don't trust me not to go after her?" he asked.

"Not right now. You get crazy when you think your wife is in danger." She sighed and scratched her arm, nervously, "I don't know how to tell Matt about what just happened."  
"I'll take care of it," Stevie said.

Sam heard his phone buzz while they were eating dinner and Mercedes tutted, "Um, not at the dinner table!"

"Sorry… It was just Stevie letting me know that he handled some stuff for me, earlier."

"I love that you and Stevie are texting, but put that thing away!" Mercedes said.

.

Cheri had been making her plans to go to Coachella, which she had gotten her tickets for ASAP when she knew Beyoncé was headlining. She had the festival on her bucket list, and since this was probably her last chance AND it was a Beyoncé show, that was a no brainer. Mason and Jane came pounding on the door and she hurriedly rushed to it, startled at the urgency and was halfway afraid that they were bloody and near death. When she opened the door, they rushed inside and Jane began calling for the kids. "Hey, where is the fire?" Cheri wondered.

"Where are my goddamned children?" Jane yelled as all of the children - Cheri's and hers came in.

Major I asked, "What's going on, Mommy?"

Jane clutched the air to beckon her over, "Come on, babies… We're leaving."

Mason II admitted, "You're scaring us Mommy."

"Don't be scared. Nobody is going to hurt you on Mommy's watch."

"You're the one scaring them! The fuh is happening right now?" Cheri asked, following them outside.

Jane suddenly turned towards her and asked, teary eyed, "You knew about all of it, didn't you? And you let me dig and you let me confront him?"  
"I asked you to talk to Stevie, so that I wouldn't get involved, did you talk to him?" Cheri asked.

Mason said, looking madder than she had ever seen him in her life, "He threatened to kill her."

Cheri shook her head, "Well, it's extremely fortunate for you that he didn't do it…" Mason put the kids into the car. "What happened before that? He's not one to make threats lightly. You should… Go."

"You people are sick. I feel sorry for those kids. I tried to tell you to let go of him and not to marry him and you married this and you seem oddly okay with it," Jane said.

"Stevie and I have never kept secrets for too long. I assure you, this little thing that has you so riled up isn't even the worst thing that Stevie has ever admitted to me. I'm sorry…" Jane stormed off and they got into their vehicle and peeled off.

Cheri bit her lip and went back inside. "Mama, what happened? Did Auntie Jane get mad?" Sherwood asked.

Cheri sighed and said, "Auntie Jane and Daddy got into a bad fight, so you might not see your friends for a while." Sherwood looked sad, so she offered, "But… You'll get to spend time with your cousins while Mama is in Cali. You like Uncle Sammy's house, with the dogs and you can play with them because I won't be around." They seemed appeased by that news, btu she was worried enough to call Stevie. Threats. Stevie didn't make threats.

"Hey, Baby."

"Hey. Jane and Mason just picked up the kids."

"Ah. Okay. That makes sense. Well, maybe Phai will let me leave now, but before I go anywhere - I'm glad you called, because I want to run something by you. My happy place…"

"Go ahead," she said.

"That was easy… Too easy."

"I am getting ready to be in California for a week. You need to be refreshed to watch the kids."

"Thank you. We'll talk about Jane later, yeah?"

"We'd better."

"Guess I ultimately ran your friends off after all," he said, sadly.

"I still have my best one," she said. He kissed the phone.

.

They drove for hours before Mason stopped for gas, then they eventually turned in at a hotel, and Jane went to sleep. Immediately. She was drained. Mason went through her phone and computer, deactivating all of the accounts and deleting all of the non-family/non-close contacts.

Madison called him in the middle of the night and wondered, "Is this something about Jane?" He broke down and cried. "Mason?" Madison hadn't heard her brother cry in a long time. It was extremely frightening.

He tried to explain, "She's a champion for justice, to a fault and she's pissed off some really dangerous people and honestly, I am terrified for her."

Madison sighed and wondered, "Want to crash here?"

"No… I don't want to drag you into this and we're not sure where we're even going. Just away from them. I know that Jane can be a little overwhelming sometimes, and whenever she sees something wrong, she goes after it, but she doesn't deserve all of the shit that happens to her."

"I agree. I know that Mother and Father think that she must draw these things to herself, but I can't imagine how, unless she has a bad luck charm."

"Yeah. It's her skin."

"Oh God, are you being targeted by white supremacists?"

"Not this is something else. These were her friends. She looked in the wrong places and I tried to tell her to leave it alone, but the more she dug, the deeper into the hole and now… I mean… She honestly wasn't doing anything that all of them haven't done to dozens of alt right trash for years, but this time, they turned on her."

"Why?" Madison wondered.

"I don't want to say, but she's still blaming herself for a murder that _wasn't_ her fault. She had a PTSD episode _caused by_ her previous interactions with law enforcement (which had been heavily influenced by her dark skin), and her friend was killed, by the police while trying to make sure she was alright. So, she's been very lowkey. She hasn't felt worthy of the work. She's felt like she failed her friend. She _thought_ she might appease the guilt by doing what she did best,

and the first chance that she saw to get back into the habit of hunting down ghost skins and bringing them to justice, she picks the wrong one."

"Sorry, Buttercup. Remind me again, what a ghost skin is?" Madison often needed whole terminology lessons to keep up with speaking with Mason and Jane, at times.

"A white supremacist pretending to be a regular person in order to hide their agenda. She finds them all of the time, finds their dirt and exposes them. That's what she _does._ This time, this one was too connected and honestly, I think maybe he's changed; but that doesn't warrant how she was treated behind it, and by people who were supposed to care about her... I have lost faith in humanity."

"No! Not you, Boo-Bear. No way."

Mason had a throbbing headache. Between worried about Jane, panicking, the fear and anger of Stevie treating his family this way over something that Stevie literally does nearly every waking second of the day, but when it's Sam - UGH! Mason seriously wanted to break his neck, but he was a peaceful person and Stevie, not so much. He considered him family. Jane was intrusive, yes and he didn't have to be there to know that she was likely hella pushy, stubborn and probably didn't want to admit that she might be in the wrong. But, _nothing_ could excuse threatening her life. If Stevie even knew Jane at all - the amount of passion and compassion that she had for other people, especially ones she cared about, it would not have even crossed his mind to speak to her that way.

If he even respected Mason _one bit,_ he would have _at least_ asked her straight up if she was going to actually hurt all of these people that they cared about and she would have begrugingly admitted that though her moral compass would have been thwarted by participating and though her scales of justice would have cracked and she might have even had a meltdown over the ethical dilemma… She _never_ would have dared threaten all of them. But, Stevie threatened her. Mason noticed that he had tears in his eyes. He loved Stevie, and now he was dead to him. "Hey… I need to sleep. I will call you when we stop again, okay?"

"Okay. People might ask me why you and Jane vanished from everything. What should I say?"

"We ran out of friends and we're too tired to try to make more," he said.

"Bleak, Baby Boy, BLEAK," she said. "I love all four of you. Be safe and promise me that you'll reconsider humanity."

"No, but I love you too."

.

Mercedes tried to call Jane for help on her current series, but the number was disconnected, so she tried to message her and couldn't get through. She was confused and wondered if she was even keying in the right things, so she began to use her voice activated system to try to contact her and was having the same results. She tried Mason and all of his contact information was inaccessible, as well. "Hey, Sam!" she called.

He was right there, though. "Yeah?"

"I'm having trouble reaching Jane and Mason, can you help me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"Oh, they unplugged," he said.

"What does that mean?"

"They're not online anywhere, right now," he said.

"What the what? Jane loves being online. It's her element. Most of her work is online and she didn't even tell me nothing! She's supposed to be helping me. Did they go to that festival that Cheri went to?" Sam sighed and sat down in front of her and explained everything that he knew about what had taken place. "Do we really think that she would have told, if Stevie _hadn't_ threatened her?" she asked.

"Stevie did say that she wanted me to just give myself over, but the risks of exposing all of the rest of you if a search occurred… he wasn't willing to leave that to chance."

"Where did they go?" Mercedes wondered.

"Under the radar. I don't know that we're safe. What if she releases whatever she has when she gets to safety?"

"That doesn't sound like her. She's passionate about exposing bad people, but she knows that's not who we are. I have faith that she wouldn't do that to Matt, at least, and hopefully not to me or Cheri. I wish I could have talked to her."

"If Aphasia and Stevie couldn't help, I don't see how you could."

"I was friends with her _before_ them, no matter how close they got." Mercedes was noticeably sad.

"Well, I could try to help you with whatever it is that you wanted her help with?" he offered.

"I'm not even in the mood anymore," she said. "Wanna talk Acts?"

"I do wanna talk Acts."


	14. The Radiation

**The Radiation**

Cheri was going to be posting hella photos, but she didn't want to be spending time working on her wigs during Coachella, so she made sure that her face was beat and her outfits were on point and she just went ahead and let folk see the bald head in her posts. She stayed with Marley and Ryder and they met up with Hunter at the event. Jane was supposed to be there with her, but after Andrea died, she gave up her tickets in a depressed daze of paranoia that if she went with Cheri, something terrible might happen, so Hunter bought her pass (because she and Stevie weren't back together and she and Hunter were close, at the time.

"Missed you!" Hunter said, grabbing her into a swooping, off of the ground, tight hug and planted a huge kiss on her forehead. "I love this look, by the way. Very art heaux, very Afro Punk crashes Coachella." He wrapped an arm around her and she for a moment was very taken aback, but didn't complain, because they _were_ friends and hadn't seen in each in weeks. He snapped an ussie of them, with Marley and Ryder photobombing in the back and posted it with the caption, "Double date with my best mates #Coachella2018 #FridayThe13th #MarleyHereForTheBey #RyderHereForTheBae #MissedMyCharmingLady #NewDoWhoDis #WifeyInRWordBaeInRealWorld, like twenty heart eyes emojis and tagged them all.

When Stevie heard his phone and opened the notification to see the photo, he instantly was angry. It didn't stop there, though.

In fact, he took photos with him casually kissing the top of her head, or her cheek, or REALLY close to her lips, her chin and by the time Stevie called Cheri, he was already pissed off. "Hey!" She said and she sounded so happy that Stevie pushed his anger down and tried to sound calm.

"Hey… I keep getting alerts for your page and it's just your dickhole costar kissing you all over the head and face…"

She frowned, "Okay, but you know most of my friends are kissy. He's just taking hella photos of us."

"And the heart eyes and the tag WifeyInRWordBaeInRealWorld?" Stevie asked, still trying to sound calm. "It's a little excessive, isn't it? Marley has posted like two pictures."

"Okay, but you still have friends DMing you photos of their pussy, so what's the tea?" She asked.

"What?" He asked.

"Even if you keep your phone locked, whenever something comes through, it flashes for a moment. If I'm not bothering you about that, you could let me have my fun with someone that you know that I'm not even thinking about, because I'm back with you. Meanwhile, you were fucking other women and still get nudes. It's loud. Bye." She hung up, then posted a photo of her own, of her and Marley, flipping the bird. Stevie was sure that Cheri hadn't told her about the call that they just had before that. So… This was what was happening, he guessed.

He hadn't been responding to any nudes, but he was aware that they still were submitted to him and there was nothing wrong with looking, but Hunter was touching and Stevie _knew_ that he wanted Cheri.

Whenever Marley got Cheri a visit to the set of the R Word, Stevie had come along and Ryder and Hunter were _both_ sweating her. Ryder kept calling himself her "biggest fan," even though she had only one reality series and a popular social network presence under her belt. Hunter had listed her as his "celebrity crush" a short time later and Stevie noticed that he often liked every single photo that she posted and commented on them a little bit obsessively. Whenever it was rumored that Giselle would be introduced to the series, both of them petitioned the Internet for Cheri Charming to get the part and whenever it was finally official, Hunter had posted a photo of the two of them and commented that she was "fione enough to make a Nazi put a ring on it…" Which went over poorly with a lot of people, mainly Stevie, BECAUSE, even though she'd be playing such a role, nobody knew what direction the writing team was going to go with her character and Stevie wasn't positive that it wasn't a dig at him, personally.

Now, after Stevie had run off her best friend, destroyed his relationship with one of his own, and had to try to figure out how to tell Matt that his second favorite BAP was gone, here was this motherfucker… still being extra about his wife. And here was his wife, being extra, too, because she wasn't posting photos until after the phone call and now, all of her photos incorporate an idgaf attitude or caption.

Phai and Mattie had come to stay the week, while Cheri was gone. They could both use their friend and the extra help of another adult while their complementary adults were away. Aphasia came into the living room in her pajamas and asked, "What are you doing up on the phone? You have to get up for five kids in the morning, right?"

"I know what the fuck I'm doing," he mumbled and she cocked her head back.

"Okay. Good night, Grumpy." He rolled his eyes and kept going to the different sites, basically stalking her whole Coachella entourage until he went to sleep on the couch. He got up in the middle of the night to go to bed, and decided not to even look online until the next day.

The next day, the first thing he saw was a photo of Cheri sleeping and a caption "She woke up like this" and once again, excessive heart eyes. First of all… Why the fuck was that dude in her room and secondly, he called her.

"Hello?" she answered, like she was still asleep, when that photo was posted hours ago.

"Hey. Are you still mad at me?"

"I wasn't mad at you, but you were tripping," she said and got up.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"The hotel. We haven't left yet."

"Why is that dude in your room snapping photos of you in your sleep?" He asked.

"He was waking me up and we're sharing a suite," she said. "Because he bought Jane's accommodations?" Stevie had forgotten that, or didn't think he'd gotten everything, or something.

"I'm highly uncomfortable."

"I asked you if you wanted to come and you shut me down flat, before I even asked Jane!"

"Because we were apart and you expected me to be able to spend a week with you, away from everything, half dressed and gorgeous and had no intention of getting back together with me when you invited me! Also… it's fucking Coachella, not Ozzfest. Hell I look like at that shit?"

"Do you know what the hell you sound like?"

"Where is that dude? Because you'd better not be disrespecting me in front of him, giving him ammunition."

"Nobody was disres… Are you going to ruin this for me? Because this is on my bucket list and may be my only shot at this…"

"I'm… Will you tell him to stop his creepy shit?"

"Okay. I promise. So, Marley is thinking that I should get ahead of the cancer situation. She says that after the festival, I should give a statement about why I came and what I'm going through and make a declaration about surviving."

"You said that you wanted to just take it to your sickbed or to your grave, if that came before the sickbed phase," he reminded her.

"Yeah, but her advice has never failed me yet," Cheri said.

"She didn't just presume it was a hairdo?" Stevie asked. Cheri paused for a while and he answered himself, "She already knew. She knew before me…"

"She's kinda gotta set me up for interviews and appearances. She had to know when I had to have treatments and appointments that she needed to work around."

"She's known as long as you've known," he said. "And she didn't even mention it to me. I've spoken with her several times."  
"Yeah, because she doesn't work for you and it was none of your business or her place to tell you."

"It be your own people," Stevie joked, but he was actually a little bit hurt by this. Marley was one of his first "friends," and even though they didn't really talk that much anymore, they had been extremely close business associates at one point. He thought that maybe he was being oversensitive, because he had recently lost some friends to death and betrayal, and one was still in the air, sitting in an institution fighting his own demons. "Just, let me know what you decide, so I can know how to support you."

"Yeah. Stop calling me because you messed up by declining my invite. I'm sick as fuck. It's not like I could cheat on you, even if I wanted to."

"Yeah, no. But, Dude is just coming into your room. He's muscular and super into you. If he tries anything, you're not a fighter…"

"Whoa."

"Sexual assault is frequent and common in your industry and he gives me the creeps."

"Gotcha. Gotta go. We're leaving the hotel soon," she hung up and Stevie got back to the kids.

.

The visit to Matt was sobering. Stevie never thought that _he'd_ be the one visiting someone on the inside and still had anxiety of the time that Max took him to Cheri. Matt's situation was much different, better and appropriate, but Stevie now understood what Mercedes was trying to describe about how she felt whenever she came to visit him, while he was inside. It was like coming home to a toxic family for a special occasion and trying to forget everything toxic, because there is someone that you care about there.

Matt was in a place with a spa and meditation and stuff that Stevie didn't even know or understand, but whenever he met with him, he still looked distressed. He missed his family and he missed his work. His face was still bruised up and he had a scar that he was debating keeping and talking about, or getting rid of. "I didn't expect a meeting with you today," Matt said, coming to sit in front of Stevie in the clean, plain room where their private meetings would be held. "If this is business, where is Jane. You two need to be sharing responsibility. If one or the other is doing too much, it defeats the purpose and throws off the balance."

"Jane is gone," Stevie said. Matt looked devastated and temporarily panicked. Stevie quickly added, "She left over a conflict of interest." Matt was able to breathe again. "Sorry, should have been clear. She's not dead, though…" Stevie tilted his head slightly.

"You explain it to me," Matt said. At the end of everything, Matt wondered, "Why did you think she'd actually expose this?"

"She was out for Sam's blood!"

"So was I. Jane is… Find her and make it right."

"That's basically impossible," Stevie said.

"Right. Dre is gone and you ran off the only person good enough to _possibly_ replace her."

"I… Protected us."

"You protected Sam," Matt said, disappointed. "And, you should. He's your family, not us. I get it. I would protect my family too. Jane would too. That's why I let her into my family. You're right, you can't fix it. I'll handle it when I get out. Thank you for your time."

Stevie worried, "Are we breaking up?"

"I can't trust you to handle things, obviously. You're excellent with muscle, but this didn't need muscle. Honestly, I'm disappointed in Phai for even allowing you to be a part of this. She should have handled this one on one."

"She wanted to, but I thought that she might need the backup."

"I bring black women into my company because they know what it is like to be hurt by society and they need a safe space to work and to fix it. We don't threaten black women in my company, be it business or personal company."

"She was the threat, and I don't see how nobody else sees that!"

"You're right. You can't see what we see. You're looking through your privileged lens.

I would have talked Jane down. Phai could have talked Jane down. Your face alone could have escalated this. Sam threatens her, you call her, show up glaring and barking at her and think that her response is going to be to stand down? She did exactly what I trained her to do, what Dre trained her to do. She did what we trained _you_ to do. Tact was needed, not fear tactics. But, that was your go to. You and your brother are all fists no finesse and wonder why it's difficult for people to forgive you!"

Stevie folded his arms and sighed, "You're upset."

"Keen observation, Stevie." Matt turned away from him. "I'll get Aphasia to post a statement that the website is undergoing changes and we will not currently be handling operations. She'll take care of the scholarships and social media and she and I will resume business when I get out."

"You're… _Benching_ me?"

"You're lucky I love you, or I would be putting you on my list!" Stevie covered his reddened face. "Go home."

"Too many people would have been hurt. I made an executive decision. I thought you trusted me."

"Apparently too much. My brand is about protecting my people, fighting for them and destroying their enemies. An inner-family disagreement does not an enemy make. I'm… I can't keep talking to you about this. We won't see eye to eye and this is supposed to be a healing place for me. So… Just…"

"Go. Gotcha." Stevie went out into his truck and cried for a moment, then headed back home, which was demolished with child mess. He started to clean things up and she waited for him to give her a report of what happened. When he didn't, she presumed that it went how she would have expected it to go…

Four years ago, Mercedes introduced Jane and Matt. She was practically starstruck by him and went on a respiratorily exhaustive rave about how much of his work she followed and how she'd wanted an internship at his company when she first went to college, but didn't submit for one because she went to school out of state, etc. He put both hands up and silenced her, smiling. "Jane Hayward, I know exactly who you are. Back in the day, Haywards and Rutherfords were ride or die. It was our destiny to meet and be a part of each other's journey…" and just like that, she was in.

Of course, this was after years of Aphasia softening Matt up and getting him to be more trusting of people, but not so much that he could ever be played or betrayed. Honestly, this thing with Jane didn't feel like that to her. It felt like Jane finding something out that she thought might help Matt, then having to rectify that she misread it, but Stevie had lost his cool and handled it very Stevie-like… Something Matt wouldn't have done. Aphasia _knew_ Matt was not going to receive it well. She was glad that Stevie volunteered for this.

And Jane surviving Andrea made Matt's attachment to her even stronger. Stevie cared about individuals. He cared less about the big picture and hardly ever even _saw_ the big picture. He was routinely mindblown when one of them would attach their personal feelings and ideas to the whole of America, society, the black community, or whatever else. Emotions had ran wild and Stevie was supposed to channel his inner Matt… He channeled his inner Stevie. That was on her. She was supposed to be in charge and she should have known that Stevie would go into protective mode. He didn't understand what it must have been like for Jane as a black woman, whose mission was to fight white supremacy and receive justice for marginalized people to uncover what looked like on paper, a huge scandal. She was _only just_ finding out how many of her friends knew about what was happening. Stevie's behavior was understandable, but Jane's wasn't understandable _to him._

Aphasia offered to Stevie, "Whatever he said, he'll calm down after I've had a chance to talk to him…"

"He didn't even want to hear my side of things," Stevie said. "He attacked my personality and my practices…"  
"I can say the same about what happened with you and Jane."

"She was the threat! Or am I only good for eliminating white threats and whenever it's one of y'all I need to stay put and stay in my place?" He snapped.

Her eyes got wide, "You're goddamned right, that's what needs to happen! That's PRACTICALLY the deal that we made when we got involved, almost verbatim. You're not equipped to handle black problems or black people. You went into full terror mode on one of our most valuable assets before she even had the opportunity to process the information that we were giving her! You try to act like you're better than Sam because you have a more visibly progressive platform, but you're honestly just spicy Sam. You ought to write a book next. _I Sided With the Negroes and They Didn't Ever Let My Whiteness Be a Priority._ I'm tired of this. Matt is going through too much and Ruthless is losing too much for me to stand here and coddle you and pander to your feelings, Stevie." She collected Mattie and passed by him, "We're gonna let you have some time to yourself."

"Everybody is always mad at me. I put Ruthless above everything that I care about and believe it or not, _that_ is what I was protecting with her."

"Ruthless was never in trouble with her. I was there, Stevie. She never threatened any of us. Only Sam. And she's not some…" his head quickly snapped towards her wondering what she was thinking of him at that moment. "She's not you. She's a regular person. A regular black person. A black woman. She's seen shit, been through things, and lived the best life that she could with those things. The stuff that is a part of your conditioning, training, practices… That's something that most of us can't fathom. We don't know how hard it is for you to wind down and be like the rest of us… But, I know what it's like to be like her and I wish that you would have followed my lead and listened to me. Ruthless didn't just lose her, _you_ lost her and Mason. I know that hurts you. I know that you believe in the protection that you were trying to cover us all with. I just want, I _need_ you to know that Jane believed in that too, up until the point that you threatened her."

"I was following your lead."

"Until you didn't. You were supposed to be there to fill in spaces for her. She's Jane. She likes to have all of the information. She likes to fully understand what she is looking at before she makes a decision. That was the main part of her appeal and why Andrea took her under her wing in the technology department. You want someone to validate your decision, but… You didn't make the right call and you stepped over the chain of command, in this instance, while Matt is gone, I am in charge, and you might have instinct when it comes to ghost skins, alt rights, and closet racists; but you have no insight when it comes to HBCU HBICs with a big puzzle and missing pieces."

"It was none of her business."

"If that's how you feel, you don't belong in Ruthless. What happens to black bodies is always black business, here. I will announce a parting of ways between Ruthless Revolutionaries and Ghostskin Hunters Inc and publicly wish you well."

"You're breaking up with me, too?" He said.

"I love you, Stevie."

"Matt said the same thing as he broke my heart."  
"We can't be involved if you can't see where you brought your personal feelings into a black setting and tried to steamroll the black feelings that were already occupying the space!"

"I'm sorry. I feel bad for how I handled it. You're right, I went personal and that probably wasn't the right call. But, I got confused. Jane and Mason were my friends before Jane came into the company, so I _thought_ that meant that she was mine to handle."

"That could have been cleared up if you had just listened to _me._ You trust Matt. Matt gives you an instruction and you jump right in. But, you have to argue with me? I felt disrespected, and I felt like you were there for Sam. We were supposed to be there for Matt. Did you even try to see Jane's point? The shit was never _about_ Jesse. She didn't care about justice for him. And, I'm not going to let her name be tarnished anymore than I would Andrea's or even Cheri's. Just… Take the break that you needed. Ruthless needs togetherness right now, a united front. Maybe your unity is elsewhere, and that's okay. Honestly, we didn't expect a white person to stick around this long."

"I'm not _a white person._ I'm Stevie. I'm yours. I'm y'all's."

"That's why you need to be able to take this criticism. The fact that you're getting so defensive should tell you something." She reached in to hug him, then left the house.

.

Stevie was in a weird, depressed mood when Cheri got back from California. The children were overly excited to see her and she kept showing them videos of Beyoncé's performance and pointing out all of the black references in them and why she had lost her voice and wept tears of joy.

Sterling quietly confessed, "Daddy's been wepting tears too." She kissed her youngest son on his nose and handed the phone off to Sheva, to check on Stevie.

"Hey, Cornflake… Did you see my posts? You didn't like any."

He turned to her and stared at her for a moment, and she could tell that she had accidentally torn him out of his own little world. "I gave you some space. I just gave everybody space this week. Sammy and Mercy took the kids a few times. I boxed up some stuff. Aphasia left a few things here, but Jane and Mason and their kids… We have about six boxes of stuff for them… This was practically their second home…" His eyes were red and damp, but he laughed. "They probably spent more time here in the past year than I did."

Cheri drew near him and held her arms open, standing in front of him. Stevie met her embrace and rested his face on her fuzz. "You're like a little Monchichi."

"A what?" she wondered.

"Them little…" he realized that they were monkey toys and immediately regretted bringing it up, but pulled out his phone to show her a photo instead.

She laughed, "Awww, you oughtta find me one! I could use it for my announcement."

"I don't know how easy it'll be, but I'll get on it. Might as well make _somebody_ happy."

"You once told me that you didn't care too much about whether or not your loved ones were happy, as long as they were safe."

"Shit changes," he said.

"You shouldn't. Whatever happened, I got your back, this time. Even if nobody else does."

"You don't feel like I overreacted?"

"Of course. Even not being there, I know you overreacted. Just like when you're not around, you know that I was being melodramatic. But, whether or not you overreacted and whether or not it was your fault, her fault, nobody's fault or everybody's fault… _You're_ my husband. I selected this, I selected you. And you were overreacting when I did. Overreacting, I can live with. Overreacting is classic Cornflake. Anyway, I got maybe four years in me, if I'm lucky, possibly four months, if I'm not. You never know. What I look like not having your back for my short little last stretch."

"Please don't…" He pulled her into another hug and rested his face in her short hair. He noticed that she had a couple of plugs missing, even with it that short. It was time for her to shave it again. It was time for him to spend time in his happy place, again.

.

Marley was on the computer while Stevie was giving Cheri her clean shave. "You said that you didn't want to talk or think about it at the festival, but it's over now… What do you want to do, Cheri? I think that right at the end of Coachella, especially with all of the narratives and think pieces going around about it is an extremely beneficial time for you to come out of the chemo closet."

"What a gross way to say that," Stevie commented.

"It was her phrase," Marley offered. Stevie shrugged his shoulders. "The kids know. Your family knows."

"My family doesn't," Cheri said. "I can't figure out how to tell my mother this."

"Then, don't. Let her find out like everyone else!"

"Her and Daddy have been good to me over the past year, the past couple of years…"

Stevie offered, "They've just been trying to win you over while we were drifting apart, but I don't think that they've changed." Now, Cheri was the one who shrugged her shoulders. Stevie sighed and sat down next to her, looking at Marley as Marley continued on.

"If you need me to look over your script, I can do that."

"She doesn't need you to tell her how to express her feelings about having a terminal illness."

Marley frowned at him, "You let me word you for years. It's part of my job, as you know."

"But her illness isn't part of her brand," Stevie objected.

"It is a part of _her,_ right now. She is the product. It is a part of her image and how the world receives that part of her is up to her. I am the person that helps her to decide what she wants the world to know about the changes in the product, her - the consumable entity that she gave to an adoring public."

"Stevie ordered me this Monchichi doll and I took a photo with it. I want to use it as my coming out of the chemo photo. Let's try to work on the wording. I have months of practice scripts," she said, opening her current notebook. Stevie got up and left her to it.

.

The children had been moping about and it was exhausting to try to get their spirits up. Stevie was always a "few moments of joy" source for them, but Mason was the cheery uncle that got everybody going and lightened up the day. Mercedes was similar when she had the kids, but it wasn't the same. They didn't know her as well and had been experiencing more emotions than ever before with the news of their mother's condition and the signs of it being more visible, now that she was no longer hiding it as much or as well from them.

Stevie kept looking at the announcement on Ruthless Revolutionaries Inc.

 _A Message from the Desk of Aphasia Rutherford:_

 _Due to personal conflicts, issues and overall grief and strife, Ruthless Revolutionaries will no longer be affiliated with Ghostskins Hunters Org, Steven Evans, or associated businesses and organizations. We still support the work of the company and all of the contributions that Evans has made over the years. We simply are no longer on the same path, and that is okay._

 _Matt is currently seeking assistance with some personal matters and all concerns of the moment will be exclusively handled by me, as we now have lost Andrea Cohen (Rest in Power), Jane Hayward McCarthy (May her journey be blessed and grant her stability and tranquility), and Steven Evans (who is taking a break of his own from Ghostskins, but still operating outside of ties to Ruthless)._

 _During this time, I will assist everyone that I am capable of assisting, but I apologetically admit that the forces of action that Ruthless has lost both temporarily and permanently are far more capable ot this work than I am. I will do my best and prioritize as I see fit with my husband's full support. However, it will not be possible for me to maintain the same reach that we've previously achieved. The website is undergoing changes, as the company is undergoing changes and operations being handled will be limited, but not abolished and the limitations are temporary. Thank you for your continued support and patience._

He read it multiple times and every time, seeing the impersonal nature of what felt like to him ripping a portion of him off was as painful as when they even warned him that this was happening.

He got out of his truck, and walked into the small office space on the practically abandoned lot and spoke to the receptionist. "Hi, Mr. Evans! You're coming in a lot again!" She cheered, but continued working. He went into his office, where he had photos of himself with friends and family, and right on the top of the desk, The McEvans Clan + The Rutherfords… Taken shortly before he and Cheri separated, when everything in life made sense and was right, for a small portion of time. He pulled up the image on his computer and used it for his own post. Cheri was making her announcement to her followers at this moment, and he was going to incorporate that into his departure from Ruthless.

He posted the photo with his own announcement:

 _The Ghostskins Hunters Association is sad to announce the separation from Ruthless Revolutionaries Incorporated. Recent events have made it impossible for further travel, at this moment. While founder, Steven Evans attends to his wife, who is currently living with leukemia, and focusing on their five children, Ghostskins will continue to progress as usual. We are not taking a break from fighting the enemy. We are not taking a break from hunting, gathering, or destroying. Stevie will not be present in most of the day to day functions, and dedicating his voice to cancer awareness and battle, but his spirit will be in the works that this company was founded on and he still supports everything that Ruthless Revolutionaries sets out to do._

He noticed that he had a notification on his computer from PickMason, Mason's business site. His heart sped up and he clicked on it.

"Stevie, I don't know what to say to you, but while I want to respond in anger and disbelief, this is partially my fault for giving somebody with your history a chance and trusting you to be a friend. That's not what this is about, though. That no longer matters. I need to stick to the point. Jane doesn't want me to give up this business, even though we've had to give up everything else to get away from you and that's not really fair, but still not the point.

The point is that I can't stand my wife looking over her shoulders constantly and having more PTSD than she did before. I promise, she's not going to do anything unless one of you comes after her. She deserves to feel safe. Whatever I have to do to ensure that, I am willing. If I have to sign something or send something somewhere, or whatever. Please, just leave her alone and let her live." Stevie checked the date on the email. It was from a few days before. It didn't come through on his phone, for some reason.

He replied, "Matt wants to try to fix things. I was wrong. I didn't mean to scare her or to send you two into running/hiding. I just want my family safe like you want yours safe. I guess, I could have given Jane the opportunity to agree not to bring them any danger. Maybe she'll be happy to know that I have been removed from the right hand of the father and exiled from the company. Jane doesn't face any harm if she has no intention of coming for mine." Stevie saved it to a draft. Maybe he should run it by Phai, first. He would check on it, to make sure he wasn't threatening or anything. In the meantime, he got up, took off his jacket and rested it on the chair.

He went into a small broom closet in his office and shut the door, shifted a few boxes around, put on a mask, picked up a rug and unlocked a lock beneath it to an opening that revealed a staircase, going down into the basement.

Stevie went down the stairs, changed his clothes at a clothes rack by the main entrance, into a uniform of sorts. It was a dull jumpsuit that he used for farming his lot and for this work, as well.

He threw on a hair cover and passed by a wall of various finger drawn happy faces and arrived at a corridor of cells.

.

Whenever he got home, Cheri was on her computer, but quickly abandoned it. "Where the heck have you been?" She wondered.

"Happy place," he said. She frowned. "I promise, I'm not making it a habit. I just… It's been a hard few weeks."

"Yeah, it's a hard knock life, but…" She held out her hands, then changed the subject, "I am getting overwhelming support. Like, I have never seen before!" She cheered. "People are sending me prayers and wishes and good vibes. There are a couple of nasty ones, but it's mostly love." He smiled, but she saw that he was still sad, just like he saw that she was sicker than she had been before the festival. Probably wasn't taking care of herself properly the whole time - taking it easy, just enjoying it, whatever.

"You don't look so well. You need anything?"

"No. I have a blood transfusion this week, so I'm probably just looking, you know… like I'm in need of a transfusion."

"I don't know what I'm going to do if you die," he said. Her eyes widened. "I feel like I shouldn't be dragging you into that headspace, but I don't know who else to talk to. Everybody is breaking up with me and you're dying…"

She nodded her head, "I'm here for as long as I'm here. Tell me whatever you need to."

"I need to go on a farming trip," he said. She nodded. "I'm going to do it before your transfusion, so that I can be there for you, but I have to do it. The happy place is not doing what I need right now. I have to slaughter pigs." Her eyes were teary and she nodded her head and reached for his peachfuzz and rubbed on it.


	15. The Ranch

_I LOVE how impassioned y'all are! Even though y'all highkey hurt my Team Jane feelings. Shoot, I got enough stuff to cry over in this story. Lol. Y'all was brutal, B. Y'all was acting like she didn't even have a leg to stand on with going after that former killer, rapey Nazi. I was looking like a Kevin Hart gif at these reviews. I do love that Sam and Stevie resonate with people. I would love even more for_ _ **black lives**_ _to resonate more, but we still have a ways to go in this journey, so we got time to unpack. My inbox is always open._

 _#StillTeamJane #DismantleTheMisogynoir #ImAlwaysOnTheBlackWomanSideofEverything_

 _That is all._

 **The Ranch**

Jake noticed several calls from Stevie as he was leaving rehearsal, and seriously wanted to call him back, but he needed to get to the train and still had to make a few stops before he got home. Stevie had something happening that was a bit much for Jake to dive into while trying to make it back to he and Bree's apartment. While he was in the middle of that thought, Stevie called again. "Yeah, Man. I am fresh out of practice and still gotta do some running around…"

"I won't take long. Have you seen Marley since my birthday?"

"No. I never see her, Man. Do you even remember our breakup? I was shocked she even agreed to be in the room with me on your birthday. Why, what's up?"

"She's marketing Cheri's cancer. I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, it was only like a month ago that Cheri even admitted it to me, now the world is in on it?"

"Okay… This does sound like a lot. Can you call Mason about it, though? I'm like...Really trying to be aware of my surroundings and make sure that I get to where I need to go quickly."

"I can't call Mason," Stevie said.

"Okay. Well, can I call you back in a couple of hours?"  
"Yeah, of course… Have you not talked to Mason?" Stevie asked.

"Not in a few days, why?"

"Nothing for you to worry about. I'm gonna let you go, but also, I want to come see you. I'm thinking ASAP."

"You got a key, so whenever you want, basically. Text Bree beforehand. I don't need my lil' bits seeing her lady bits."

"Ass never has clothes on. Naked and high, like 24-7," Stevie said. "Well, we've got a few events. We have to leave the kids with Sam, I guess because we had Cali plans, then I want the NY plans to be right after, so it'll be like shortly after the Infinity War Weekend."

"Okay. Text me dates. You know I have no idea when that is."

"Ugh. You're… I hatechu."

"Why you not leaving the kids with Mason? I thought he was gonna be watching them for Avengers Weekend."

"You know what - I don't fuck with Mason. Leave it at that."

"Umm… Leave it at that? My two best friends not fucking with each other - two _brothers,_ and I'm leaving it at that?"

"Yeah."

"Naw, but I'll catch up with you when I see you," Jake said.

.

Stevie dropped the children off a few times while Cheri was out of town, to the point that Sam was kind of worried about how he was going to handle them if Cheri didn't make it. After all, they had lost Jane and Mason - who initially were their secondary parents. Beforehand, Sam had been a little bit jealous of Mason's relationship with Stevie, but it was hard to watch his brother lose his friends, especially over _him._ He was constantly reassured by mostly everyone that it wasn't his fault, but he wasn't sure if Stevie saw it that way. Also, he was able to spend time with his nieces and nephews and see his home filled with children. How could he complain or be concerned about that?

After Cheri made it back, though - they weren't seeing them, as much. Sam didn't know if that was simply because Cheri didn't need any additional help beyond Stevie or if it was because she simply didn't like him, at the moment. It was often hard to tell with her. He noticed that they had made a post that they had a premiere to attend in California at the end of the week and their babysitter "flaked out."

 _Sam: Sooooo… Are we pretending that my place doesn't exist?_

 _Cheri: OH! We didn't even consider you! It wouldn't be too much? You've already got 3 of your own! And you're not as used to ours…_

 _Sam: Definitely sure. I always wanted 8 kids. I get to live out my dreams when they're over._

 _Cheri: It's looking like it might be a week, though. We're going to NYC to see Jake after we leave CA._

 _Sam: Take TWO weeks. YOLO._

 _Cheri: Omg. You're an old man and a pastor. Please stop. Absolutely nobody says that anymore. I'll talk to Stevie._

 _Aphasia: When are you going to be in NYC? I'm going soon, to. For De'Wanda. We should all touch base._

 _Cheri: You talked to Stevie? Check with him._

At any rate, Sam was handling the business of the church and appeasing his concerned friends about the little spill issue (which he was trying not to blame entirely on Stevie for even allowing it to slip from his mouth). From the way that Stevie's little circle had reacted, he was being punished enough without Sam's help. It was quite a surprise to him when Tina told him that they'd publicly parted ways.

She also was calling to express her best wishes to the family over Cheri's sickness. Apparently, that was now public, too. Sam appreciated that the gossip about him beating Matt up had died down, though it hadn't vanished. Neither of them released any statements, but the speculation from the videos at the hospital that night were majority in favor of a fight between the two. Sam could only guess how Matt would respond whenever he came back from his episode.

"Are you coming to Hawaii for the summer?" Tina asked. "Quinn and the girls will be here, so you'll have a huge babysitting network, and maybe bring Stevie and them. Cheri probably could use a Hawaiian getaway, right?"

"We'll have to see. We aren't magically good because I've seen him through a few things. To be fair, I didn't even really see him through anything. I've just kinda watched and not berated him about stuff. Lessons from Mason."

"I liked him," Tina said. "Have we heard anything from or about them since the spill?"

"No. Looks like they don't want to be found and don't want any trouble."

Tina nodded her head, "Honestly, I would be more worried about the rest of you. After I got shot in the gut, I was ready for anything that life throws my way, whether I get arrested for my coverups, or actually assassinated some day for my executions. As long as Mike and the girls are okay, I think I can pass into the afterlife, or even sit in a cell for 23 hours."

"I can't imagine going back to prison. If she had exposed us, I would have done it to make sure you all were okay, but I really would not have been okay ad likely would have been killed by the Aryan Brotherhood before my first visitation."

"Goals, to be honest," she joked. He didn't reply. "Yeah, well - she didn't. That's the most important part. And she would have by now, if she was really going to do it. Enough about her! You need to get with Mercy, your brother and your sister about a Chang-Cohen-Chang-Evans-Hart-Anderson Hawaii Summer Getaway."

"You need to get with yourself about a name to refer to this idea."

"Hawaii Family Reunion. You thought you were smart, huh?"

"I am pretty sure that Cheri has a show tour coming up this summer, we have Vacation Bible School in July, Stacie doesn't have summer classes, but I think she might have some kind of internship this year."

"Hence the reason that you need to get with them to see when it's going to be good for us to make the plans. Quinn is self employed, so she can come whenever I arrange things. You all are the ones with the obligations and such. And speaking of obligations, have you fixed things with Cedes?"

"It's a work in progress," he admitted.

"Aphasia is very tight lipped about Matt, so I haven't been able to see what the situation is with that, yet. I imagine that if he's breaking things off with Stevie now, he's definitely for sure done with your ass."

"I think that's been done with."

"Honestly, it was destined to fail, considering your origins. And his face was messed up! How is Stevie with the whole parting ways thing?"

"He surely wouldn't tell me one way or the other, but they mentioned visiting Jake, so my guess is that he's not well."

"At least he'll have his main bro to help him sort through it," Tina said.

"That stung."

"I thought it would, but it's also true. The bright side is that you get to probably possibly build things back up with him, now."

.

Sam and Stacie had not been in the same room alone for more than a few moments, and now she definitely noticed and was feeling avoided. Whenever she stopped by Stevie's with some produce for Cheri, she wondered, "What's been going on with Stevie and Sam? Every time Sam is dodging me it's something with Stevie."

Cheri shook her head and said, "Really, it's kinda not. Well, it kinda is. Like - Stevie sort of lost all of his friends over Sam, or more accurately over Jane, but it was all about Sam. Between the fight, the hospital, the conspiracy, and the business severance, Stevie's been a bump on a log."

"Between the what and the what? Stevie's been depressed because you have cancer, though."

Cheri seemed like that just occurred to her, but said, "Well, yeah, that too." Honestpy, she felt like that was on the backburner for him, either because he seemed preoccupied by everything else or because she just didn't feel like she had earned her importance back since they reunited. She chuckled and shook her head, "You know that Stevie had something really special and good going for him with this bunch and the next thing he knows, he pauses to see about me, and it becomes a situation where it's them versus Sam and... he surprisingly chose Sam. I wish that I _could've_ been an option in the whole thing. That would have been interesting."

Now, the two women stared at each other and when Cheri realized that Stacie did not have nary a clue of what she was talking about, she called out, "Stevie!" - To get him to handle the rest of this. He came into the room and gave Stacie a hug. "Soo… Since nobody told me that we weren't telling Stacie about the whole month of April…" Stevie sighed and sat down at the island.

Stacie said, "What is going on between Sam and your friends?"

"Nothing. They don't fuck with each other."

"What happened between you and your friends, then?" She asked.

"That's an interesting question, because everybody has a very different answer and all of them seem to have good points, so it depends on who you ask. Personally, I guess that I consider it the Marvel Civil War: Ruthless/Hunters Edition."

"What - somebody wanted to protect a killer they love, so factions broke out fighting amongst friends?"

"SHIT!" Both Cheri and Stevie said. Stevie added, "I wasn't even thinking about that aspect, but _basically."_

"Well, I mean… I know that you have a past, too, but I strongly believe that if there's a killer in your midst, they made their bed and can sleep in it." Stacie said. "Also, get away from them! For crying out loud. You and your danger squad…" Cheri simply blinked at her, just now remembering that Stacie seriously had no clue about the backstory. She was always sheltered around the time of the situation, and since then, nobody had invited her into this.

Bursting her judgmental bubble was tempting, but instead, Cheri went to a different focus, "The highlights are: Sam started it and then it snowballed. There was a fight. Blood was shed. A pistol was drawn. A life was threatened."

Stacie nodded, "No wonder Sam's been dodging me. He thinks that I'm gonna scold him for fighting with dangerous criminals."

"I don't have any 'dangerous criminals' as friends," Stevie said, offended at Stacie's suggestion.

"Damned right you don't. All your friends are gone," Cheri tried to joke but it fell flat when Stevie angrily, continued in Stacie's direction.

"My friends are _upstanding_ citizens," Stevie defended, reflexively. " _Sam_ is the one that came here starting shit with Matt over Mercy, split his jaw open, and made him have to get stitches. He is the one who wasn't even invited here and wouldn't get off of my friend. He is the one who could have practiced what the hell he always preaches to me, but decided that a good way to end his night, after a whole weekend of WWJD idealism, by verbally and physically assaulting someone whose family was killed as recreation for him and his friends, _my friend,_ right in front of my face, on my property, over something he imagined in his fool head. And I _still_ chose Sam, because the last time that I sided with comrades over family, Mom was shot in the fucking stomach and died in my arms and I ended up having to kill."

Stacie's eyes were wide. They hadn't spoken about that in a long time and Stevie really didn't seem to like to talk about Sam and Matt, ever, either. She'd always wondered if he felt guilty that he befriended Matt, someone who had attacked their family relentlessly for years. Now, she was guessing that his guilt was over Sam, not Matt. For not only being Sam's brother, but still loving him, in spite of his past...

"The rift that Sam made, I don't know if I can fix. And the losses that resulted after the fact, I don't know if I can get back. Because _Sam_ fucked up. So, watch what you say to me, in my home, about my people. There's plenty of people at your church building that want to hear the Lord and Savior Samuel narrative. It ain't on the program under this roof." He got up and left the room.

Cheri cleared her throat and said, "He left without telling me what I can and can't say, so this is the most awkward thing that has happened all month, and I saw Hunter Clarington's balls at Coachella." Cheri steepled her tea, and hoped Stacie would just leave so that she could go see about Stevie without the chance of her interrupting/overhearing, etc. _This_ was the type of shit she'd wanted to avoid while living with cancer. This thing that she often saw activists and/or Christians do where the infighting took them off course and they stayed big mad for extended periods of time. Stevie once lost associates over using AAVE in a black space and he and Andrea argued about it for weeks, because he didn't 'check his privilege.'

On the flipside, Stacie had been uninvited to an event that she made the decorations for because the woman at the church who invited her found out that Stacie believed that members of the LGBT+ community deserved human rights.

Like… This argue/storm/fight/ explosion thing wasn't _new_ to her, especially having watched the Evans family frequently fight with each other and let it spill over into everybody else's world. _Especially Stevie,_ who could be relentlessly boisterous, sometimes for the smallest things, sometimes for the biggest...

"I thought that he said something about somebody killing somebody. How is that Sam's fault?" Stacie asked, breaking into Cheri's thoughts of exactly how to word to Stevie that she needed him to not do this on a transfusion week, or ever, if he could help it.

Cheri laughed and said, "I mean, before Sam was a pastor, he was a person and people be doing shit sometimes. For instance, did you know that in this whole kerfuffle, Jane and Mason disowned me and Stevie? It was wild. They snatched up Mage and Mase in front of my kids and stormed off practically screaming at me. Well, Jane was screaming. Mason was pissed but…"

"WHAT? _Mason_ was part of this? And pissed? Pissed off? Sweet Mason, with the smiles and the gift baskets and the flowers and fruit? If I hadn't met Joe, I'd've tried to be a side hoe for Mason - Mason?" Stacie shook her head.

"At some point, we must discuss this casual admittance that you would've been trying to pop that P for Mason but you was a child of God and refrained…"

"What did Stevie _do?"_ Stacie asked, not even hearing another one of Cheri's attempt at a joke. She sighed. If nobody was going to accept her extension of humor in a serious time she guessed it was time for some of that sappy shit…

"Classic Stevie bullshit. Care too much about everybody but himself," Cheri could finally answer openly, probably without giving anything away. "Stevie has _always_ been that way. He was that way with me when he didn't even like me, or didn't know that he liked me. He doesn't think about the harm to himself, his body, his heart, his life. He just throws all of that behind the nearest and dearest. He had Jane on one hand, Sam on another, Aphasia and Matt somewhere in his forearms, me and Mercy tucked in his elbows and for him, the world was weighing on his shoulders. Nobody involved really seemed to understand the unique position that he was in throughout this. His friends say that they do, but if they did, they'd still be there. I'm the only one here, and I'm not just enough to him."

"I need context." The description of Stevie made sense, but how that turned into fights and defenses just didn't seem to.

"Here is _some_ context. Before I met Stevie, he didn't feel like he got love at home. He had you, but he didn't have what he thought he needed, so he got that from a hate group. Then, they bumped heads. Next, all he had was his family.. Then, they bumped heads. So that all he had was me… It seemed to work for him like that for a while. In the home, out of the home. He was fine with not opening up to any of his family and not being able to connect with any old friends. I think that he was just depressed, to be honest and how couldn't he be? We had so much going on. _I_ had so much going on and I dragged him through it _with_ me. He took it. Held on to me, didn't look back and did whatever he thought would make me okay again."

She took a seat, approaching the part of the conversation, the part in their relationship where she traced it all going wrong to, for the past year. "Then he got some new friends, and I was so happy at first that I didn't have to be ALL that he had. I felt guilty that I had made him have to be there for me all of the time after I was abducted. He didn't mind, because he didn't have anybody else before, but it was some exhausting years. It was hard for me to have friends, to have family, to have a life… So that when he got friends and I pushed and pushed for him to do more and be more with them. I pushed him right out of the door, to be with them, while I dealt with some stuff on my own, because he had gotten what he needed elsewhere and I hadn't realized until I was telling him to go that I just wasn't it anymore. I couldn't tell you when I stopped being it. Well, at least he had them. I was glad that he did… And now, _they've_ bumped heads.

Everybody… Gives up on Stevie, while Stevie holds on to everybody that he cares about for dear life and never even thinks about what it's doing to him. We might not mean to do it, but when he's holding on so tightly and we're just turning away, no matter for how long… That hurts him, and he has no idea how to handle being hurt."

"I never meant to turn on him. I guess I just supposed like you that he had what he needed, and I know all too well being the only person to bear that. I just thought that he wasn't like that anymore. I thought that he had a full life, with good friends, and love and everything else that I haven't shown him."

"He did," Cheri said and nodded, "But, then Sam...Struck." Cheri sighed, "Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming Sam for everything, but it all started with him and it all finished with him and he's the common denominator in _so much_ of Stevie's search for acceptance and fear of abandonment. He's upset right now because his friends are upset, but I am hoping that everybody is just taking a step back and cooling down. I even lifted the ban on Aphasia from our house because I want him to have his friends. I know that it's hard for you to hear anything negative about Sam, especially these days, but Stevie has _always_ felt this way about Sam, since I've known him and I think that he definitely feels some bitterness towards him right now. "

"Does Sammy know how Stevie feels?" Stacie wondered.

"Sam has never been very observant about Stevie's feelings, but in his slight defense; Stevie is not very forthcoming about these feelings. I just want my husband to be as happy as he was the day that we got married. I want his smile to look like it looked when he met Cowboy for the first time. I want all of that, but I don't want to go back to being the only person that gets to be a part of that. He's too much for one person. He's too much for this world, most of the time. Most of all, I don't want this to be something that makes him lash out and do something crazy, either. I feel like I'm watching a catastrophe about to happen and nothing that I can say or do can prevent it, because I'm just not enough..."

Stacie bit her lip, and said, "I'll leave him to his peace. Thanks for talking to me. I'm praying for you."

"Umm, aren't you always?" Cheri asked with a mock attitude while hugging her.

"You're enough, though. Stevie thinks you're enough. He thinks you're beyond enough. You're a part of him. Don't ever let his mood swings or his outbursts make you think that you aren't." Stacie kissed her on the cheek before leaving.

Stevie was packing bags when Cheri went to check on him. "You want any help?"

"No, Baby. I've got everything. You get some rest."

"Okay. I'm here, if you need me."

"Thanks," he said, without even turning in her direction.

"Stacie didn't mean anything by it, you know? Now that things are shaky with your clique, maybe you ought to give your brother and sister another try…"

Now he looked up, "I'm still amazed that after everything we've told each other about our families that you ever took your family back. I tried with Stacie and she just kinda gravitated more towards Sam, so from my personal experience with them; I think that I have as much of Sam and Stacie as I honestly need. But, I appreciate your concern."

"You seemed… Terrified of the loneliness for a few days… Unless you're no longer worried about that since your second wife appears to not be upset with you…" He rolled his eyes and she just smiled. "I'll leave you to it, then." She left the room and went into the library and hugged a pillow, trying not to cry until she fell asleep. She stirred awake when Stevie came to carry her into bed and lay her down.

.

Sam opened an email from FabBethadone_Puckyou and saw several attachments. "What in the world…" He read the message, "Hey Uncle Sammy, this is some babysitting pointers." He reread the name Fab = Fabray (or fabulous, which he was thinking at first), Beth (play on Methadone) Puck = Puckerman… "What kinda email address name is… She is literally 12 or 13," he reminded himself. He printed out her attachments and it was multiple photos of her and her sisters with captions, checklists, notes on things that children of certain ages enjoyed… "Does she realize that I _have_ children these ages?" He replied, "Thank you, Beth! I have no idea how I'd do this without you!" But, how did she even know? Now, he called Quinn.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's Sam."

"Where are you calling from?" She asked.

"The church."

"Oh. I don't think Mercy ever calls from there. What's going on?"

"Beth sent me babysitting tips," he said. Quinn started laughing. "I don't even know how she knows that I'm babysitting soon."

"Probably from online. She follows Cheri, Jake, and Stevie on social media."

"She doesn't follow me!" he complained.

"Yeah. Well… Stevie has antiracism and antisemitism posts, Cheri has dozens of pop culture stuff and Jake is on Broadway and always has stuff up. What do you have to interest her?"

"Uncle Love!" he said.

"That sounds like something gross."

"I immediately regretted it after saying it. Where did she get these learning carss. They look professional."

"They are. She designed them and I had a photographer and a stylist help her produce her vision. She sells them to other babysitters, so you're lucky she gave them to you for free."

"Her entrepreneurial spirit is uplifting," Sam said.

"Did you call me to ask about those cards?"

"Yeah, and see how you're doing?" She paused for a while. "I'm just trying to be a better friend to everybody," Sam said. "I neglect people more than I intend to."

"I don't feel neglected. If there's nothing else…"

"Yeah. Bye." Quinn hung up and stared at her phone, confused.

.

Whenever Cheri dropped the children off, Sam looked around, "Where's Stevie?" He asked. She furrowed her eyebrows as she gave her children goodbye kisses and smiled, uncomfortably.

"He had some important things to do," she said.

"Don't you have to go to the doctor soon?"

Cheri took a deep breath and handed a few things to Cowboy, then kneeled in front of him and asked, "Can Mommy check your emergency bag again?" He opened it and they announced everything together, "Prepaid cell phone, book of phone numbers, notepad so I don't forget things that Mommy will definitely want to hear about, family photo, and too much love to even hold." She gave him a hug and when he went inside cheered, "Have fun!"

Sam smiled and reminded her, "You're a wonderful mom (and wife), I'm sure."

"Nobody felt that way a month ago, but now suddenly…" she pointed her finger like a gun to her bald head.

"I think that if everyone knew that you were doing all of that and doing all of this," he circled his finger around her head too, "Then, they would have only saw what I see. They're lucky to have you. I didn't always think that, but it's the honest to God truth."

Cheri was annoyed. People have to think that you're dying in order to not think that you're a shit mother and a shit wife? People have to _know_ your business and understand your walk before giving you the benefit of the doubt? Wasn't that the entire point of the benefit of the doubt? That you didn't have to know every single thing to grant someone the dignity that maybe, just maybe they're justified in handling their life a bit differently than you think that you would handle their life? "What are we coming upon in this conversation?"

"I know, from recent events that you know about… the thing that caused your friend to flee. Thank you for bearing that. It had nothing to do with you and you easily could have responded like she did, especially with her being one of your best friends, if not your best friend.."

"What makes you think that I didn't respond like her?"

"I mean… You're here. You and Stevie stayed together. You didn't turn on him and us when you found out what they knew, what I did.."

"I _didn't_ turn on Stevie. What I did was vomit, because my boyfriend so casually told me that his brother killed somebody, and to be fair - I've never been a person to believe in killing much. I don't like violence. I used to fight, sometimes, when I got really mad. But if blood was shed or weapons were drawn, that automatically became a nightmare for me. I'm generally a pacifist. I don't like violence. I'm necrophobic. Nothing makes me more terrified or more sad than death. I also am pretty centrist in my politics and very adamant that life is precious. But, I understand that some lives have to be dealt with. The ones that lead to more death and destruction. It's necessary to wipe people like that out. I don't enjoy it. I'm not one to be entertained by online fights or road rage videos. I just like for people to get along and be at peace with each other. I, at least like tolerance."

She couldn't look at him while she beared her soul. Instead, she found a budding flower, "But, it wasn't that you killed this dude that made me was more like… It sounded like a mess. It reminded me of when I blow my nose and the tissue rips and there is snot and tissue on my hands, and I have to try to get more tissue, and on the way to do so, I have to touch the door, or my purse, or something else, then I have to clean my nose, and clean the door and clean my purse, but if Cowboy rushes up on me, and grabs my hand, then I have to clean his hands… But instead of snot, it was blood and instead of cleaning it off, you were just wiping it all over all these other people. We're all walking around with traces of blood on us. I could have washed my hands and lost Stevie and my son, or I could have reasoned that the past couldn't be helped and the only future that I needed to see about was mine and my family's.

What would it have proved? Stevie would have probably just threatened to kill me or actually done it. Four of my children never would have been born. Maybe it would have been fine, since I'm not going to last very long, anyway, but I didn't know that then, and I didn't want to die, not at Stevie's hands. I imagined that would have been extremely hard for him. Probably even harder for him than it was to kill Hank Saunders. I like to think I meant more to him than Hank did. I really just didn't want that on his heart."

Sam blew out some air, "When you say things like that, it makes you sound like a crazy person."

"I love Stevie. That is why I didn't turn on him and why I never do or never would. You don't have to say anything to either of us about sacrificing our friends or anything like it. If something happens, _you're_ family, they're not. Family has always been extremely crucial to me. That's all that there is to it. Could you have been better family to him? Yes, we all could have, and unlike me - you probably still have plenty of time. I'm living my life like I'm dying. My dying wish would be that Stevie has people here for him, people that care about him as much as or more than I do."

.

Sam called Stevie almost right after she left.

"What now?" Stevie answered.

"I wasn't expecting to see Cheri dropping the kids off. I was hoping to get a chance to see you and talk to you a bit."

"I had to take a trip to one of our properties to get some work done quickly. We can talk some other time."

"What property you talking about? One of the Schuester places?"

"Yeah."

"Not the one where they found the bodies?"

"Um, where _I_ found the bodies, and yes. That one."

Sam fought the urge to nag him, but had to let him know, "Stevie, that's really unhealthy of you to be hanging out there."

"It's one of my Ghostskins Hunters offices. Generations of Schuester enemies that were silenced were brought here and left to rot in the ground. After they removed all of the bodies, and the site stopped being a possible crime scene, I used the little building that used to be the front of the ranch to start my office, because I thought it was poetic to build an organization against people like him at a place that people like him discarded people like me and others I care about. I haven't had the time to make much of it, but it's the most important place in the world to me."

"Okay. Well, your wife seemed kinda sad. I was just gonna tell you to make sure you make some time for her, in your important things."

"I don't need any advice on how to treat my wife from you, but I appreciate the concern." Sam didn't say anything and Stevie imagined that he was probably stuck between an offended face and a stupid face. "I'm gonna call later to wish the kids goodnight."

"Alright, man. I love you Stevie."

"This is stupid. Good night." Stevie hung up the phone and connected it to charger. He went to the lower level of the building (which was a much larger facility than what was on top, as what was on top had been demolished some time after it was seized from the Schuesters. It had been passed down many generations and landed on Cheri after her mother bought up several properties that had belonged to her distant relatives. Whenever Stevie first started coming there, it was just a small building, a barn and acres of land. Cheri had given it to him, in case he needed a getaway place when she was "being crazy," but he knew it was more like she got tired of him being all up under her all of the time and suggested it instead of him making a man cave inside of the house… Which he ended up still doing, anyway.

 _Dwight was going to help him with erected at least a small building, if not an entire home away from home, but Stevie found several bones buried on the grounds. He called the authorities and there was a huge investigation, because while most of the remains seemed to be old and thought to have been there for centuries, a few of them were only a decade or two old. Later, once everything had been cleared away and taken for investigation and the grounds had been searched for any other secrets, Stevie found another._

 _It was beneath a stack of boxes of files, which he also gave over to the authorities, just in case - but he didn't mention what was underneath. A door. It had a lock on it, but he busted that open and eventually replaced it. He climbed down a ladder and coughed from the musty smell and the dust. It was empty, but he could tell from how the cells were set up and the dirt in them that this place had been used… and people had been brought there. There were these weird chairs like in the movies when they showed old asylums where a mad doctor was tormenting strapped down patients, and several different forms of equipment and tools that he was certain was used for torturing people. Most likely "race traitors" and POC… A lot of the bodies that they found in the dirt had probably been finished off down here._

 _After cleaning the place up, he thought that the place looked stellar. It was still dark and menacing enough that if he did have to bring someone here, he could… He felt strange about thinking that way. If he had to… Like, in what situation would one need a fully stocked torture chamber, complete with prison cells in an area that realistically, nobody probably could hear someone scream?_

 _He talked to Cheri about it, then to Aphasia. Cheri had asked him if he thought that instead of cleaning it up that he should have told the police about it. "If they find it now, they'll think you made it," she said. She looked frightened and he didn't want to bring it up again, knowing that he would be the one to, if it did even come up again. Eventually, it did. Whenever he talked to Aphasia, she had said, "Dang - I wish that I had a secret torture chamber that nobody would ever come looking for. That shit would be my happy place, dragging Nazis in and taking them out," she cackled, then noticed his solemn face and said, "I was just playing. Anyway, I wouldn't even be able to step foot in there, thinking about how many black people they probably threw down there. No thanks. The spirits alone would give me the heebeegeebees."_

" _What if you could appease them, though?"_

" _I don't know how you possibly could."_

" _Well, most of the bodies have been found, I think. But, what if there were blood for blood? Think that would set the spirits straight?"_

" _I think that you think too hard sometimes. Your wife is right, though. You are up shit's creek if they ever find that in your possession, especially considering your relationship with the police force. Maybe you really ought to let them know, before it's too late."_

" _No. I don't think that I will. I think that I'm gonna make it my happy place. Dragging Nazis in and taking them out."_

" _This conversation never happened, then."_

" _Okay."_


	16. The Rooftop

**The Rooftop**

Cheri was tired. She'd spent a week in California for Beychella, came home for a few days, got a blood transfusion on Thursday, then by Friday, they went _back_ to California to a different city for the movie premiere (glad for the transfusion making her feel better and look great on the carpet, with to bald head, complete with a dazzling headband to make her sparkle and excellent makeup and gown) and stayed for the weekend. Stevie's hair was already growing back out. It never stayed short for too long, so he had a bit of a buzz cut (a little bit longer than it and just trimmed up his beard so that he wouldn't look like a mountain man.

She knew that he wished that he had somebody to discuss all of that movie with, because she certainly wasn't the one. Beyond looking at the delicious men, she didn't have too many opinions on ANY of those movies, except that they were full of action… not exactly one of her genres, unless heavy romance was shown or implied.

Instead, she took him to a few after parties where he was able to rub elbows with others there who were fans of the stuff and she chatted with Hunter, Marley and Ryder, as different people came up to her to express their support in her fight and her courage. Honestly, she didn't feel courageous, at all. She felt like she was just trying to keep a straight face while her blood cells betrayed her for no reason that any doctor could tell her.

She wandered out to a balcony alone and cried by herself for a while. When she heard, "Penny for your thoughts?" She was ready to curse. Why couldn't Hunter leave her alone, like ever. Seriously, Dude!

"Just trying to have some time to myself. Haven't been able to, between the festival, the kids, this trip… I'd just like some peace, if you please." He nodded his head and squeezed her shoulder. "Ouch!" she hissed and jerked her arm away.

"Sorry! Sorry… I forget that it makes you fragile."

"I'm not fragile, but I'm not a barbell. Damn!"

"Sorry. Ummm, so… I know that you spoke to your husband a little bit while we were at the festival, but you didn't say that you two were getting back together. Is that what's happening, or are you just bringing him along for appearances?"

"OH MY GOD! How is this giving me some peace?" She asked.

"You're right. But, I just want you to remember that if you're with someone that you need to retreat to the balcony to get some peace, maybe you jumped back in too soon." Her nostrils flared and he could see them, even though she was looking out into the night. "I mean, I know that the two of you have been through a lot and that you're probably afraid to die alone."

"Honestly, at this point, I'm ready to throw myself off of this balcony and die just to get away from you."

"Yikes. Harsh, Charming." He shook his head and finally left her alone. But damn, how many times does a person have to say that they want to be left alone? Stevie found her out there and saw Hunter coming inside from being out there alone with her. "I wouldn't. She's in a mood. Wants to be alone, right now," Hunter said. Stevie turned up his face at him, moved him aside with one push of the arm and went out there. Hunter just watched.

"Hey," Stevie said. Cheri turned to the sound of his voice with a bright smile, even though she did still look sad and really looked tired. "You want to get out of here? Away from the crowd and the noise and the stalker?" He asked, smiling. She threw back her head and laughed into the sky as Stevie came closer, to stand next to her. "He's all in his feelings, talmbout she don't wanna be bothered; I wouldn't go out there if I were you. Like, you're not me. That's my wife. Think this is."

"I think he was hoping that we weren't getting back together. I don't know if he thought that would mean that he could shoot his shot or whatever, but even if I wasn't sick and we broke up, I don't know that I would really be checking for anybody, unlike you."

"Wow. This had to go bad, didn't it?"

"I just mean that even if I wasn't all messed up from this sickness, I can't imagine making the time to find other partners. Work, five kids and dating? Not unless I'm dating a Manny."

"I wasn't "dating."

"Well, I wouldn't be smashing either. But, I _did_ have the kids with me most of the time. Should've let you have them more often, so I could have me some hoes in different area codes."

"Do you want to know something? I waited for about half a year before I moved on. I heard rumors about you and that," he pointed his thumb at Hunter, "Lightly toasted gluten-free bread…" She laughed, "And I confronted you about it as easily as I could. Then we talked about the ranch and I told you how much I missed you and that I thought it was undoing me and we got like so close to making love, then you told me that you couldn't, we shouldn't, and you asked me to leave. I'm not saying that I went and found somebody else because I needed it or just couldn't go without sex. I just… really wanted you and knowing that I couldn't have you, I tried to do things to take my mind off of you. Like, if you saw any of them, you'd swear I'd held auditions for somebody of your description." He leaned on the rail and stared out, "And it didn't matter because at the end of the night, it was never you and it never helped. I'd call you, tell you that I'd been thinking of you. You'd ask me to stop doing that, or just not answer, when I knew you were up because I'd just seen you online. I'd ask Cowboy if you had any new friends or any old friends that came around more, until he asked me if I meant like a boyfriend and then asked me if me and you were finding different people to have love with, then I had to backtrack and tell him that I was just trying to make sure that nobody was trying to get too close to you while I was away at work, because I don't trust men around you."

"Then _he_ didn't trust men around me! I thought that he was just doing that on his own! Don't have my babies trying to be on the lookout for you."

"Well, I don't gotta, now…"

After the weekend, they went to New York. Stevie was calling on the way up to the apartment and Jake took a moment to answer, so that when Stevie opened the door, Bree was definitely walking around in naked with her hair in a messy bun. She paused at Stevie and Cheri, went towards them a few steps, then turned and left the room. Cheri wondered, "Was she gonna just naked greet us?"

"Yep."

"Hello?" Jake finally answered the phone.

"I'm here. Bree was naked," Stevie said. "Where are you?"

"Not too far away. Heading back there. Make yourselves comfortable."

Bree came back in with a thigh length bathrobe on and greeted them with hugs. "Jake said that you were coming, but he said that you'd call first. I thought it might be at least another couple of hours."

"Are you just always naked?" Cheri asked.

Stevie and Bree both said, "Yep." Cheri looked at Stevie, then at Bree and her mind certainly went racing, especially since she and Bree had similar features and when they cheered together, white people were constantly mistaking them, even though neither of them thought that they looked alike. Bree added, "Jake should be back any minute now. He went to the market. He told me that you were going to text _me_ before you came over."

Stevie nodded, "I think that is what he said. I must've gotten it mixed up. Anyway, s'nothing I have seen already." Bree shrugged her shoulders and Cheri just went over to sit down on the couch.

Cheri and Bree were inside while Jake and Stevie were on the roof of the building. "Finally talked to Mason," Jake said. "I was confused, because Jane had called me a short while back and I told her to talk to you, but then when I talked to Mason, he basically said that talking to you was what undid her."

"Well… I don't know what to tell you. She was a threat to my family," Stevie said. "Are you going to give me shit, too?"

"No. But, I'm hella sad that the band broke up. I thought it was weird that you said you'd kill her if she told, but whenever you told me, you encouraged me to tell, if that was gonna make me feel better."

"That was years ago, and that was before Cheri knew. I was different and the situation was different. The rest of us weren't famous and if you had told, Cheri was not going to be in the line of fire. I can't risk that today. I won't put her at risk."

"She thinks that you did it for Sam," Jake said.

"If she thought that I did it for her, she would feel responsible. I'm not risking that, either. She feels bad enough being sick and trying to be here for me. I keep trying to give her some distance from my emotions, but I think I'm making everything worse."

"That is why I am glad to be in an open relationship with a free spirit and no labels."

"It started out that way. I mean, eventually - you fall though."

"Well, I'll deal with that when it happens. If I didn't fall for Marley, after everything that she did for me and tried to do; I don't see the danger of becoming a worrying husband anytime soon."

"That was when the band really broke up," Stevie said.

"It was the best band, right? You, me, Cheri, Stacie, Marley, Mason and Jane."

"You left out Joe," Stevie said.

"Did I?"

"He was part of the Stacie extension!"

"You left him out, too. That's why Stacie left the group."

"Then you cheated on Marley."

"It was more than that. Marley and I weren't doing well and every time I tried to tell her, she'd just assure me that it was the pressure and try to get me to focus on some other venture she wanted for me."

"I thought that you and Madison were cute together," Stevie said.

"It was never like that. She was cool. She was good people, but the only reason anything happened was because I was too small to just break things off with Marley, so I had to break her heart, instead. I never felt more like my dad. Never felt so awful as a person."

"The worst thing that you've ever done was cheat on your girlfriend and make her cry. You're still the best person I know."

"What about you? What kind of person are you, right now?"

"A hurting one," Stevie answered honestly. Jake pulled him into a one-arm embrace and kissed the side of his head. " I hate Sam, so much."

"No, you don't. You're upset, but you have always loved your brother and there's nothing wrong with loving somebody, even if you're fundamentally different."

"It's more than that. I mean… it all started with him. _Everything."_ He scratched his forehead, "I had to listen to the Soundtrack from Hamilton I don't know how many times over the past couple of years. Jane listened to it a lot. De'Wanda listened to it. There's a song right before the duel between Hamilton and Burr where Burr traces all of his shit back to Hamilton. Now, that's debatable, but… I can definitely tell you that the first time I felt an absence of love was when Sam left us."

He wrapped his arms around himself and said, "Daddy and Mama were always working, and when they were home, they weren't really loving. Daddy tried, but he was so bitter and Mama was so mean… Sammy was the one that gave us all of our life lessons, bedtime stories, helped us learn to potty, tie our shoes, and a whole range of other shit. Mama and Daddy paid bills and provided rides. They gave us hugs and kisses, but we didn't really get to know them like we did Sam. Then, Sam was gone and we were too young to know where. Mama tried to fill in some of those gaps, but part of Daddy died when Sam was sent away. He thought it was forever. He thought whatever else he thought - he wasn't filling the gaps, not for me. Mama was always hard on Stace, so he would intercede, but I didn't have that connection to him. I wanted somebody who was willing to intercede for me."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Stacie would have, but I didn't want it to be her. I was too busy trying to make sure she stayed safe and close to me. I wanted a big brother, a daddy, a mama. I wanted what I didn't have, what I'd lost. And I had something _close_ in the Brotherhood, but they killed Mama, and I killed Hank and that lost me them _and_ Stacie. I got put away, lonely, forgotten…"

"But, you met Cheri. You found a lot in her - something you hadn't had and something that you didn't even know that you needed…"

Stevie said, "When I met Cheri, she was just another person, put away and forgotten. We existed in a bubble, because y'all were too far away. Coming out, when I had Stacie, her, Jake and Cowboy - those were the best times of my life. That was family. It was how it's supposed to be and how friends are supposed to be and what I had always wanted and needed. Sprinkled in Jane Mason, Mama T Daddy got together. It was the best. And then Stace left and I still had y'all, but it was different. Then, you left…" Stevie stepped aside to get out of Jake's embrace, like he had just realized that he was still in it.

"And.. I still had my wife and kids, but she seemed… I don't know… I thought that she didn't know how much she meant to me. I tried to prove myself and show her and I met… No, I got close to people that in a small fraction of time, I thought that I would easily die, for any of them. And, then I lost them too, and I lost them because Sam's past mistakes came flooding back and I decided that he and everyone that he could possibly drag down with him was more important than somebody that I would have said that you have to kill me to get to her, not even a month ago…" Stevie was sobbing. "And I would have killed her to keep everybody safe. Does that make any sense? What person thinks like this? I love her, and I would die for her, but I would kill her if that was what I had to do for somebody else that I love."

"You don't have to automatically assume that you have to kill to keep people safe."

"I've heard this before, from you as a matter of fact. I listened to you that time! You remember what that got us? Because when you let threats go unresolved, that's how you get somebody kidnapping Cheri and locking her in an asylum, sitting in her own waste, still so scared of white sheets that she panics when they're even mentioned on the news. That's how you get mass shooters. That's how you get cops who have had multiple complaints against them, able to slam Jane Hayward onto a car and traumatize her so severely that she has a panic attack at a traffic stop.. And then Andrea dies, because she was like me. You had to go through her to get to who she cared about, too, and I know that Sam was the same way, at some point. I _learned it_ from him. I just need…" Stevie couldn't breathe. "I just miss everybody that I've lost and I keep losing them and it keeps starting with Sam."

Jake felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He reached out for the seat that he had brought up there and sat in it as soon as he felt it touch his hands. "I'm sorry that Max lived to be able to hurt and kill, but even knowing that; I still would talk you down if we had to repeat it. Because, I know you now. You're a good person, Stevie. You love your family. You love your friends. You love me, and we love you. There is no monster worth it to make you get lowered to his level just to keep other people safe. I believe that with all my heart. As for your friends, Cheri thinks you're just taking a break from your friends. I saw you and Matt together. There's no way a fight with Sam or whatever else just dropped that brotherly love..."

"Sam's brotherly love dropped a long time ago. This remnant is just that hold that people sometimes have with addictions. You know it's bad for you and all it ever does is bring you pain, but you keep it there because you don't know how to feel without it. Now, Stacie keeps calling and trying to come around and I'm just tired, but I can't get tired. My wife is sick, my kids are scared, my friends are staggered. Jake, I'm asking you, as a man of conscious and somebody that cares about me - what do I do?"

"Try to fix things with the people who matter to you. Try to break ties with the people who don't. And most importantly, figure out and know for sure which of those are which." Jake patted the chair beside him and Stevie joined him in sitting. "You know how I can tell when you've let someone into your heart? You allow affection. You thought for years that affection was for women and for romance, but after we were friends, you allotted affection, because you realized that friends can hug and brothers can kiss. What people do you find that you don't mind a kiss from? A hug? Having to share a bed or small camping space to sleep? What people would you wash their hair for them if they were too depressed to groom themselves? What people would you cup their face and remind them of their worth if they needed it more than they even knew? Get them back and keep them. Those are the ones that you trust and those are the ones that you love."

Stevie asked in a very small voice, "Can I have a hug?"

Jake opened his arms and Stevie moved in closer to him and rested in his hug, crying for a while. "It's going to be okay. Stevie, I promise you, you're never going to be alone. Even if something happened to Cheri, that's why you got a godfather for your kids. Me and you will get them through, if that's what has to happen."

"Jake, I can't lose her too. I can't…"

"If you don't have any control over it, I will even keep your kids, as if they are my own, until you're able to be here for them, okay?" Jake said and stroked his hair. Stevie was shaking. "The whole family will team up, like we did when Cowboy was a baby and Cheri was solo. Everything will be whatever it will be, but whether or not it's okay, we'll help carry things."

Stevie inflated an air mattress and set it in the living room while Cheri was in the bathroom (the last one in, because of how long she generally took), and Jake and Bree were on the couch. Bree was in a pair of boy shorts and a tank top and still felt like she was wearing too much. Stevie looked at the two of them, "Y'all going to bed, or what?"

"We have company. Nobody's going to bed until the two of you are settled," Jake said. Stevie raised an eyebrow and laid down on the air mattress. Jake laid next to him and they were staring at the ceiling. "Ooooh, remember this on the old roof? We'd look at the stars and talk and sing and rap until somebody fell asleep," he told Bree.

"For fun?" She asked.

Stevie explained, "For whoever was having a hard time sleeping. It was like a stay with them until they can typed thing. I still do it with my kids, sometimes."

"Yesss! Pass on the tradition," Jake said.

Bree laid on the other side of Jake now. "But there are no stars in here," she observed.

Stevie gasped, "There are at least three, Bree!" She rolled her eyes, realizing he meant because they were some public figures. She'd be verified too, someday.

"I'm gonna sing something, then," she said. Jake snorted and she elbowed him. "You didn't say we had to be able to hold a tune!" She cleared her throat and began singing Anytime, Any Place by Janet Jackson.

"Wow… Didn't have anything nonsexual in there, huh?" Jake asked.

"You sing something, then. You're the one among us with the pipes, anyway!" She playfully fussed.

"Sing whatever she was just singing, but in _your_ voice, so it sounds good," Stevie suggested, then he and Jake busted out laughing.

By the time Cheri came into the room, Bree cheered, "Thank goodness! Sis is back. These two have been brutally picking on me for almost the entire time that you were gone."

Cheri laughed and laid down next to Stevie, "At least it isn't me this time. This is a thing that they do… Wait, you know this. Stevie's spent plenty of time here. Enough to see you naked repeatedly, apparently."

"Girl, that's nothing. Every neighbor has too. It's honestly always too hot in here. I'm sweating right now."

Jake commented, "Probably from working so hard to push out those struggle notes." Stevie kikied and almost choked on his saliva.

Cheri tried not to laugh, even though it was funny as hell. Instead, she asked, "What songs have we already sung, so I don't repeat anything?" After a list she thought for a moment, then began singing, "You are my fire. The one desire…" And everybody, even Stevie was singing along, because that was just one of those songs that they all knew. Whenever they got to "Don't wanna hear you SAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY…" The neighbor yelled, "Shut up!" and they started laughing.

"Acoustic voices guys," Jake said, chuckling.

"Acoustic covers?" Cheri wondered.

After a while, Bree asked, "Is this supposed to help you sleep, because I'm wide awake."

"That Wide Awake that you did with the girls at POM for Emma's thing!"

"I can't sing four parts," Jake said.

"Excuse me. I've watched you singing Contagious before, so don't play me, Puckerman!"

"I'll sing Contagious…" He said.

Stevie answered Bree," You can go to bed. We don't wanna keep you up."

"Kidding? I'm trying to put my little toe in this tradition." Stevie began singing Hate Me by Blue October, which eventually prompted Cheri to sing along and start crying before the song was over. Bree got up, "On second thought, let me go to bed before I end up depressed, messing with you guys." Stevie continued humming the song.

Jake sighed. "It's a good song, though. I like it and I'm not typically into that emo stuff."

"Is that emo?"

"What else would it be, though?" Jake wondered.

Stevie began singing again, but Cheri fell asleep, exhausted and now really saddened by Stevie's song…

Bree got up in the morning and laughed to herself at the sight of the three friends all knocked out on that air mattress. She had had the bed all to herself and slept like a baby. She tried not to make too much noise as she made some coffee. Stevie was the first one up and when he got up, from in between Jake and Cheri, the two of them just latched on to each other and stayed asleep. Stevie came into the kitchen and asked, "You making a serving or a pot?"

"A pot, every time you're here." She nudged her head towards them, "I was so thirsty for him in high school, but he was HOOKED on that girl. Now, me and him together and they sleep together like some cousins at a sleepover."

"I knew he wanted her in high school! They always try to play like they were just friends the whole time. I could always tell when somebody wanted mine."

"And now, your steps and she's his inlaw… Crazy stuff, Man." She poured him a cup of coffee and handed it to him, black, before doing all of the extra stuff that she did to her own cup. "You okay, though? I know you were here a lot while you and her were fighting, but you seem to be working it out and now you're both in this tiny place."

"I needed to see my best friend," Stevie said.

She nodded, raised her cup and went to go get ready for work.

Whenever they got back, they picked up the kids from Sam's house, greeting them with big, tight hugs and multiple kisses. Sam reported, "Sheva has commissioned me to build her, Maine-Maine and Blessing a dollhouse palace here, so that whenever they come over, they can have a spot away from the boys."

Cheri kindly told him, "If you build a dollhouse, they can't exclude the boys from it. We don't let them separate themselves according to gender roles." Sam blinked his eyes. "If that's something that you have a problem enforcing, we won't pressure you to keep them, but thank you for doing so, this time around." Stevie rolled his eyes and helped the kids into their seats.

"Sometimes girls just want to be around other girls, right?" Sam asked. "That's still a thing."

"Yes, and if the boys are bothering them or distracting them, they can call upon an adult to intercede on the basis of being antagonized, but not because the boys are existing near them as boys. What if Sterling wants to play in the dollhouse and he's not bothering anybody? He couldn't, because he's a boy?"

Sam's eyes widened. "I'll keep that in mind when I build it. It can have a little boy cubby or something."

Stevie snapped, "The whole point is that children shouldn't be confined to spaces dependant on their genitalia!"

Cheri furrowed her eyebrows and Sam sighed. He had had just about enough of this attitude from Stevie lately. Cheri offered, "He's being adamant about it now. Maybe he should try to remember how long it took me and Jake to let Cowboy pick flowers in peace."

"I was raised thinking that boys only picked flowers for their mama, or some other girl!" Stevie said. "Damn sure ain't raising my kids how we were raised," he mumbled, getting into the driver's seat.

The children were screaming, "Bye-bye, Uncle Sammy! Bye-bye Aunt Babydoll!" as Cheri got in too, and they went straight home.

Cheri was probably getting tired of seeing her face, but Stacie felt guilty about drifting away from Stevie and honestly, even though she felt like she had tried to keep up with him, had some fear that anything that was going on with him was her fault, somehow. She should have realized that her twin needed her. She shouldn't have left him by himself with Cheri and the kids when he seemed like he was slipping down some type of slope. Now, she kept coming over. Cheri told her to just use her old key (which she still had for emergencies, because they were going to be in and out.

By the very beginning of May, Cheri was on the road, again. She had press releases about the upcoming season of the R Word, a few interviews with magazines that Marley warned her might try to be specifically about her illness, but not to let them direct those conversations, and negotiations for her contract with the show and a possible beauty line.

Stacie found Sam in the church and told him, "I'm goin' to Stevie's after I leave here. You wanna come along? He's probably lonely with Cheri gone for the next few weeks."

"Stevie don't want me there," Sam told her.

"He probably doesn't want me there, either. But, we're his family. We have a right to be there for him. We have an obligation to at least check to see if we can be."

So, Stacie knocked on the door and she heard Cowboy cheer, "I'll get it, Dad!"

Sam commented, "Do you think it's appropriate for Cowboy to get the door when Stevie swears he has all these enemies out here?"

"Please don't start," Stacie said.

Cowboy called out, "Dad, it's Uncle Sammy and Aunt Stacie! You want me to open the door?"

Stacie commented now, "See? He's responsible about it. If there might even be a question, he's not even opening the door…" After a while, when Cowboy didn't open the door and didn't seem to be opening it, Stacie knocked again. It took several minutes before Stevie opened the door himself and walked away from it. His siblings walked inside and the kids greeted them warmly, _thank goodness._ Cowboy spoke politely, but he appeared to be helping Stevie with dinner.

"You got a key," Stevie reminded Stacie.

"Uh, yeah - but I didn't come alone and I wasn't sure if I should walk inside."

"If leaving you outside didn't clarify, I don't know what to tell you," Stevie said.

Cowboy looked uncomfortable, which Sam noted and kneeled to tell him, "If you wanna go play or something, Stace and I can help your dad out with dinner."

Cowboy looked at Stevie and asked, "You need me, Daddy?"

"Go have fun," Stevie said. Cowboy gave him a hug and rushed off. "I can't ever get him to stop trying to help. Figured it's nicer to let him do it than constantly tell him that he don't have to. You know it's pathetic when your own kid even thinks that you can't do anything without him. I expect it from y'all."

Stacie said, "Well, after me and Cheri talked, I was feeling like we did too much of thinking that you didn't need us."

"How damaging was whatever she said?" Stevie asked.

"Not very, not to you anyway," she gave Sam a look. He just let his eyes fall to the floor and found a seat at the island. "It was more… She was speaking up for you - something that I know that a lot of us don't do a lot of. Guess that's why you love her."

"Like… Not even in the top three reasons," he said and checked a pot before taking off an apron and washing his hands. She grabbed his hand and looked at it. "I still punch things when I'm mad, sometimes." He jerked away and dried them off.

"I guess so does Sam," she said and frowned. "Maybe I should leave it alone."

"I see. When it's him, leave it alone. When it's me, browbeat me until I want to punch _you_ next."

"Serving up hostile pie, I see. Guess that's what I get for just stopping by for dinner."

Sam offered, "Stacie, you didn't do anything wrong by wanting to check on Stevie. Stevie, you could afford her some civility. She's here because she wants to be here for you."

"And why are _you_ here?" Stevie asked.

"Because y'all are my little siblings…"

"Younger. We ain't been little in a long time. You missed out on that when you got yourself thrown in prison," Stevie reminded him.

Stacie cut in before Sam could reply with, "Stevie… After everything that Cheri confessed to me before y'all left? The best thing for you to do is to talk all of this out with Sam, right now. Sammy, the best thing that _you_ could do is to listen to what Stevie is feeling. Don't invalidate it. Don't try to explain yourself. Don't interrupt. You can talk after we make sure our brother is going to be alright."

"Fuck is this? Intervention? Because, my kids are at home and my wife isn't - so I'm already not on board with this."

"An intervention is when people confront you about something that you're doing. This is us coming to you about something that we've done and that _we_ want to fix. Sammy doesn't really understand. Only you can express to him what he's done, what you feel like he's done, so we can finally just be a family again. I'm not even looking for normal or functional. That's never been us, but we used to be close. We used to love each other. It used to be obvious." Her eyes were full of tears.

Stevie sighed and told them, "Let's take it to the roof. I don't want the kids to walk in on anything that we might say." There was a window in Jake's old room that they could step out to and Joe had put a hammock out there and the others sometimes pulled out patio chairs, but it was a nook big enough for all of them to just sit on the roof and they sometimes did. Jake had taken that practice to New York with him, too.

Stevie repeated most of what he'd told Jake while on the roof, but also added in, "I became such a soldier for whiteness, trying to make you proud and you just tossed it aside. I gave it up after I fell in love. I worked hard to support my family. Then, I put that same passion I had for white power into taking racists down, trying to make sure I leave behind a legacy that doesn't make my kids have identity crises like I had and like their mom had. They have such fucked up genes. They need to see somebody giving their all for them and to them. Other people need what I try to provide..."

"You can't give your all to everybody, Stevie. There's just one you. He's amazing. He's a firework, but he's not omnipresent. You can't be Superman for the cause and your family..."

"You're interrupting," Stevie said, but hearing Sam say good things about him was always deeply gratifying.

"Can I just tell you something? I talked to Mason, after that fight with Matt. He told me that you think I don't think you're a good person and that the people you keep around you all do and that's why me and you don't get along well. I've never thought you weren't a good person. And he was right that I see potential in you and often want you to reach it, but Stevie… That's a natural part of loving people, wanting to see them be the best them that they can be…"

"That's not how I love! I love you _even_ when you're a shit person. When you're a Nazi. When you're a rapist. I love you when you're killing people and covering it up and pulling everyone around you in on it and risking them by not coming forward and when you're _breaking my heart_ by costing me the people that I thought loved me while I was a shit person… And having to find out that they had limits that I didn't have." Stevie got up, wiping his face and heading inside, "I don't have conditions. I just love all of y'all, but y'all can't handle me at my threatening your life because this shit looks dangerous. I gave up people who have been there for me when even my own wife wasn't. For _your_ crimes. We're all prisoners of your shit, Sam. And you have the nerve to ever talk to me about my fuckups? I slipped up and said something! But you're the bigger fuckup because you're the one with bloody fingerprints traced all over your friends." He went inside.

Stacie looked horrified at the stuff that was revealed in Stevie's outburst, but simply said, "I told you not to interrupt. Why is it so hard for this family to just do right by each other?" She got up, too. Whenever she went inside, Stevie was washing his face before going back into the kitchen. "We should head out," Stacie said.

"Leave the key, please," Stevie told her.

"Are you serious?"

"You brought Sam in here. If I wanted him to have that kind of access, he'd have a key."

She fussed with it to take it off of the ring, "Just because everybody else is turning on you, that doesn't mean that you should push the rest of the people still; here for you away!"

"I'd never do that to my kids," he said and snatched the key from her hand. "Good night."

"I love you!" Stacie said and stormed out of the house with Sam right behind her. The ride back to the church was silent and whenever Sam got out of her truck, she sped off without saying anything to him.


	17. The Reconstruction

_For those of you not following mysamcedesmadness Tumblr blog, I announced that these updates might be short for a time. I know, I know - i always have personal BS getting in the way of this fanfic thing... But, it can't be helped at the moment. I am doing my best by everybody in my life. That's all I got. Thanks._

 **The Reconstruction**

Sam woke up, prayed, worked out, and had breakfast, He had so much on his mind, and wasn't sure where to start putting this back together. He felt like when he was trying to prove himself to Mercedes and her friends, but this time it was his family whose trust he wanted. Quinn was a problem solver, a professional problem solver, so he called her _again,_ for the second time in a two week period…

"Sam… What the hell is going on?" She asked as soon as she opened the call.

"I just… How did you fix everything?" he asked. "You messed up. Everyone was mad. They tried to fight you…"

" _Did_ fight me. I still have a scar near my hairline."

"They didn't want to have anything to do with you. What did you do to fix that?"

"I didn't _do_ anything to fix it. I felt bad and I apologized, then I left everyone alone, to sort out how they felt about everything and to see if time would mend the heartbreak that I caused. When I returned, it was only after I learned that they were willing to at least speak to me. What have _you_ done?" She wondered. Sam realized at that moment that Quinn was outside of the loop too! Stacie and she had been heavily guarded. Shit… Tina would _kill_ him if he gave this away. After everything that Tina did when Quinn betrayed them, for her to find out that they were ultimately responsible for her daughter's father being remembered for this? Sam wasn't sure how much she did know, just that he couldn't be the one to mention any of the Puck stuff to her.

"Nothing lately," he said.

"So, this has nothing to do with those weird videos of you and Matthew Rutherford in the ER waiting room, in the middle of the night, with Stevie comforting him with a bloodied face, or the numerous blogs pointing out that your hands are bruised in the videos?"

"Not… exactly," he said. "That was actually a different thing. And, yeah, that was lately, but I mean… I wouldn't have called you about that. That was something else… Wait… Mercedes didn't talk to you about that?"

"Of course she did, but you're the one calling me and she's only got what she heard and only from her side."

"You care about my side?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I? You're my sister's husband, my niece and nephews' dad. But, if you're just going to call me with lies and secrets…"

"Yeah. Sorry. Thanks."

"You could just tell me the truth."

"You know what? I'll tell you about this Matt thing. I can definitely do that. Remember when you were going to let me get killed? Sure, you do. Well, I think I finally realize how you were feeling."

"No. I doubt that."

Sam continued explaining, "I had no right to think that Matt was actually trying to turn her against me, but I lost my mind, anyway."

"That's not what happened with me. I was perfectly in my right mind. I knew exactly what I was doing. I thought it out very carefully and considered the pros and cons. I consulted with them and I had a plan."

"Well… _I_ thought that it was strange that when Mercedes started hanging around Stevie and Matt, she was suddenly interested in being this rebel and just bucking against me."

"Or… She was hanging around people who were accepting of who she was trying to become and the person that she thought would do it wasn't, so she was _bucking_ against the stronghold you tried to put on her. Now, _that_ mindset, I do know very well. That's how you two ended up together. I refused to let her live her life and she punished me by doing the extreme opposite of what I advised. Then, lo and behold - you became me." She laughed, "And I became somebody else. Now, maybe you need to become somebody else, too. What happened to the guy that you used to be? Everybody seemed to love him. I wasn't especially fond of him, personally… But, I liked him more than you. I'm not trying to be rude."

"He didn't have a blind, stubborn wife and three small children paying very close attention to her," Sam said.

"That should've made him better."

"Right? Well, everybody hates me right now. Stevie, Stacie…"

"Did she slap you in the face?"

"Not yet." He laughed.

"Then, she doesn't hate you. I remember thinking… There it is. She _is_ an Evans, after all. You people are violent. You need to go to counseling and also to Jesus…" He started saying something, until he realized that someone was speaking to her in the background. "Sam," she said. "Honestly, I don't have time for another one of these conversations, Cooper. Thanks. Maybe later. Okay. Sorry. Hello."

"Yeah. What's up?"

She waited for a while, then finally answered, "We've been having some disagreements since I decided that I thought that the police behaved dishonorably in the death of Andrea Cohen and he thinks that because she was outspoken against police that she did something to _provoke_ them."

"Wow. I wouldn't have pegged him as that type of person," Sam said.

"It's more people than anybody not paying attention would think. Now, he's asking why you keep calling, I guess he thinks that we're plotting some cop killings or something." Sam chuckled. "Don't laugh. He's pissing me off. You know that I don't like a man telling me what he thinks about my behavior. My trash dad is dead to me. I don't need another one... Well, I'm not sure why you came back into the room when you knew that I was on the phone, so if you happen to hear something that you don't like, I can't help you with that."

"You're a mean wife," Sam said, under his breath.

" _Partner_ , and yes. I am a mean woman; therefore naturally, I would be a mean partner."

"Nasty woman?"

"No. I like mean better. But, I am going to have to go. Don't make a habit of calling me to ease your mind, as I have hopefully just proved that I'm the absolute last person capable of it."

"Actually, this conversation was extremely refreshing, so thank you."

"Ugh. No. Bye." She hung up.

.

Sam realized that he hadn't seen Mercedes a lot since the extra children were gone, and she kept taking their children with her wherever she was off to. He found her at Pieces of Mercy, with the children running around on the back patio that Santana had put up after Mercedes sold the place. He'd called around and finally got her whereabouts from Lauren, who gave him a hard time about never calling her anymore to hangout or anything. _Join the club._ She had been his first friend after getting out of prison. He still talked to her when he could, but when was that ever possible? Being a father, husband and pastor were all nonstop commitments.

Heaven excitedly screamed, "Daddy's here!" When he saw Sam.

Mercedes froze for a moment, but smiled at nobody in particular and said, "Hey. What are you doing here?" Sam found his way to where Mercedes and… Aphasia… were seated and he stopped and backed up.

"I didn't realize that you were having a thing," Sam said. Aphasia closed everything that she had with her and reached for Mattie's hand. They left without another word.

"What was that all about?" Sam wondered.

"Well, I was in the middle of speaking with Matt about something when everything went to hell. Phai was just doing me a courtesy of knowing where Matt was in the process of coming onto the show for me. Since you're staying away from them, I figured this place was neutral. Your turn. What are you doing? Following me?"

"No. I just realized that I hadn't seen you in a bit, and I missed you. Y'all wanna get some lunch?"

Mercedes had been extra careful with Sam, lately. Whatever caused him to break, she felt like she could be a little bit more understanding about it and just try to stay out of his way and off of his nerves.

Stevie wasn't speaking to him, Stacie was mad at him about something (she could tell it in her voice) and she hadn't had to be around for him to actually fist fight somebody in a very long time. She'd forgotten how terrifying witnessing a fight was for her, being bumped around, not knowing which way the danger was or the degree of danger. The word "gun" almost made her empty her bladder. Where was the gun? Was it going to be used on Sam? Was someone else she loved going to be shot again? She couldn't risk something like that again for a stupid pride thing, so she chose to swallow hers again.

Matt still was interested in coming on her show after his thirty days in the rehabilitation center. Aphasia claimed that he was bored and planned on not making any announcements or saying anything to anyone until he got to her show. That was equal parts terrifying and exciting for her.

.

She was working on her anecdote for the next show. Because, no matter where she could fit it into the program, she wanted to discuss this.

"So, I went to the store with my babies. You all may know that we hire a driver for me sometimes, when wherever I'm taking the kids is further than they're able to walk and stay in good condition while walking. So, we go to the store and I am checking out and I have my babies and my seeing eye dog, KissyKissyBangBang with me. I pay for everything with cash, have the bills folded different ways. That's easier than trying to figure out a keypad, because as I'm told, they differ from store to store.

At any rate, I make my purchase, and I gather up my baby girl, because she's tired and a little bit whiny. She's two, so that happens. And when I pick her up, now that she knows she has my attention, she wants to be extra and get some TLC from her mommy, right?" I've got Kissy in one hand, Blessing in my arms, Bliss's leash in my other hand and Heaven is holding on to my belt, as he's been taught to do when we're out and might have to go through a crowd. So, some woman clears her throat and says, 'Excuse me?' and I just smile in her direction and ask her not to get too close, as to possibly distract my service dog. She says, 'I hope this isn't too embarrassing, but I think you may have picked up someone else's baby…"

"So, I tell her, "This _is_ embarrassing, _for you._ I appreciate that you want to help someone who might be in need, but I can assure you that this is my daughter." So, this woman laughs, lightly, and touches my arm. Meaning, she's already too close, as I asked her not to be, she's suggested that because I can't see that I picked up a complete stranger's child and myself, the child nor the child's parents realized, and now she's also touching me and I have no idea who she even is. Heaven says, "Miss, that's too close." And now, I laugh a little bit, uncomfortably.

I don't think she steps back at all, because her voice seems to be coming from the same place as she tells me, "I'm sorry. I didn't even realize that they let blind people adopt."

"Okay. So, instead of letting her know that it's none of her business, I have to be a little extra, because my kids are watching and this is an important moment, for all of them to possibly learn something. I say to this complete stranger who is also a habitual line stepper, I've learned by this time - "Not only do they let us do that, they also let us get married and have our own children, if that's what we want to do. That's how I got all three of these. Honestly, I'm a little bit shocked that you inserted yourself here for this subject, because I am often told that my daughter looks a lot like me - that all of my children do." And then she says, "No, she's white."

So, my grace is not sufficient at this point, because I say, "She is partially white and partially black. If she looks white, she still looks like a small, white version of me, her mother."

Now, she tells me, "She has blond hair. I'm trying to describe her to you, in case this is someone else's child." I'm guessing she's not convinced that I know my daughter, but I'm not committed to proving myself to her. I squat down and quietly say, "Heaven, can you hand Mommy her phone so that she can call the driver to come help us get away from this woman?" And she scoffs, like _I'm_ the rude one and tells me, "I was just trying to help." So now, I've really heard enough. I told her, "If you wanted to help, you could have come over and asked me what is my daughter's name and then spoke to her by name. That's what the people too small minded to see that this white toddler has my facial structure and characteristics usually do to test whether or not I'm not capable of knowing who my baby is without eyesight that I didn't have whenever I gave birth to her."

"If you ever see a blind person caring for a child, that person has every right to handle their situation. Blessing wasn't being harmed. She was lying against my chest and moping because she was tired, but nothing that she did indicated that she was being taken by stranger or hurt in any way. I can't help but to wonder if that woman would have responded the same way if it was a blind white woman holding a seemingly black child."

Wherein was the point of subject that she might get negative feedback on. The network didn't like to engage in racial subjects unless they were blatantly exhibited. In other words, they only allowed racial topics when a race based hate crime was committed and approved as such by popular media. Whenever it was a personal experience, it was always doubted or denied.

.

The children did most of the dinner table talking, with Mercedes engaging a lot and Sam lovingly taking in the scene. Home was his peaceful place. For a little bit there, he was worried that he had run Mercedes off. They went through things in the past, but never anything like that. Honestly, you would think that being on the run or in hiding, having to put your life on the line while you faced off with demonic human beings and prison and mental institutions might have broken them; but Sam had let the paranoia of another human being almost be the undoing.

Stacie was giving him the silent treatment at work, and damn it all if she didn't resemble and remind him of their deceased mother, in the process. He supposed that she didn't tell Joe what she had heard, because Joe seemed the same as he always did.

Anyway, his home was his one true sanctuary and his family were his angels. Whatever he needed to do to bridge the gap that his insecurity and rage had made, he was all in for it. Fortunately, it didn't appear to be coming in the form of Mercedes wanting to be an activist/spokesperson for the black cause. He winced at his own wording, as it sounded kind if coded, even just in his brain. And he knew that unpacking and diffusing baggage was a long process, and that sometimes traces of problematic or poisonous thinking lurked around like sands in beach gear, ages after the last trip. He didn't want to be the old him,but Quinn had a good point… The new him left a lot to be desired.

After dinner, he pulled his oldest journal out of the safe and finally added what happened a few weeks earlier, beginning with yelling at his wife, starting a fight with the last surviving member of the family he went to prison for, _winning the fight,_ losing whatever last portion of respect that Aphasia had for him, and most likely Stevie and Stacie too, and helping to run off a dying patient's closest friends.

Whether or not he was completely responsible, this journal had been for things that he had done and decisions that he regretted. It was why Mercedes bought it for him and why he spent years carrying it around on his person. Maybe he just forgot how it felt to acknowledge his faults and hold himself accountable. That was easy when you serve a forgiving God and your faith is built upon salvation and repentance from sin. Perhaps, it was time to revisit the grace extended to him… To look back at these things that he had received a pass for, whether or not the people involved granted it to him.

.

It was a nice thing, even being several years old. The pages were slightly tattered on the ends from times he'd shoved it into a bag and tossed things in with it, but he quickly remedied that by putting it in a bible holder. It was black, with a cover made of resin and a 3D cross on the front of it. She'd touched it and felt that and wanted to share it with him. The inside covers were leather. The pages were fine linen and he had written down every sin that he could think of in it that he needed to atone for. It had kept him humble when it wasn't breaking his heart and it had reminded him of who she chose to forgive, who she chose to love, on all of those nights that they were apart because he was on the road and she was home, where she'd felt comfortable.

It had led him to Aphasia, and by that pathway, to Jesse. He didn't feel bad for what he did to Jesse. He just felt bad that he couldn't just get away with it and move on without getting it all over everyone, as Cheri described it.

The journal sat in a safe for the past couple of years. He pulled it out every now and then, but hadn't added anything to it until now. Because, whether or not anybody believed him; he felt bad about his recent decisions. "Your best bet is to always be a man that you who won't regret," was what Joe had said to him once. He thought it corny, but Joe had a point. He never seemed to feel guilty about anything, because he always did his best to do the right thing. The times where he mentioned knowing that he wasn't perfect or that he was a sinner in need of forgiveness… They were moments that Sam could only describe as milquetoast. Stevie had Jake. Sam had Joe. Without the two of them, Sam wasn't sure how he and Stevie might have come to a head. Jake!

Jake looked at his cell phone and sighed as he answered, "Hello?"

"Jake, it's Sam."

"Yeah, Man. I got your number. What's up?"

"Did you and Stevie speak about me when they came to visit?"

"Come on, Man. You know good and well that Stevie talked about you while he was here for three full days…"

"If it isn't a huge invasion of privacy, can you tell me what you talked about?"

"I can tell you what I told him."

"Thank you…"

"I told him that he loves you and he always would. I told him that you're family. And, I told him that he needs to figure out who is important to him, who he truly cares about and hold on to them and get rid of anybody that he doesn't think adds value to his life." Sam was quiet upon hearing that part. Jake called, "Hello?"

In a small voice, Sam said, "I think he decided that I don't."

Jake sighed, "That's possible. You're kind of a dick to him."

"Is he not? Is the course of my relationship with Stevie just me being a dick and him being an innocent bystander who gets harmed by my dickness?" Sam asked, rhetorically.

"He's a dick too. You're a family full of dicks. But, when he's a dick, he still loves you. When you're a dick, I don't think he can tell. Best plan is to talk it out with him."

"Oh, I tried. He went off on me and took Stacie's key away from her for bringing me over."

"Wow. I don't know. Maybe it's deeper than what we can see. Stevie… has so many demons, Sam. Nothing can seem to exorcise them, and a lot of them, you brought into his world. You're a preacher; pray the hate away." Sam couldn't tell if Jake was being a smartass or offering him a solution that he should have been trying (and had been, to be honest, to no avail) but, Jake interrupted the thought with, "There's also the possibility that maybe you and Stevie aren't _going to be_ good. It took me years to get that just because my dad and I are blood that didn't mean that we were family. It took awhile for me to get that just because I had a brother didn't mean that we _were brothers._ Sometimes blood does not equal family. My biological father is my blood, but Stevie and Papa Dwight are my family… you dig?"

"I get it. If my mother were alive, I would feel the same way. But, I haven't done the things to Stevie that your dad has done. At least, I don't think so. I said that before realizing that I have no idea what your dad has done.."

"Nothing. He does a bunch of nothing. He never cared about me or Noah. He didn't care about either of our moms. He didn't care about Beth. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. Now, he's very charming. He's polite and mannerable. He acts like a gentleman on dates. He'll even give a piece of good advice here and there, but if he sees no benefit in communication with you, he won't bother. I'm not saying that's you. I'm saying that's him. I don't know enough about you to compare. From what Stevie tells me, and only from that - you believe what everyone has told you… That you deserve this second chance, you deserve your happiness, you deserve forgiveness, and you deserve salvation. Stevie… doesn't believe that. He doesn't believe that about you and he doesn't believe it about himself. He thinks that accepting it makes you lazy. He said… Dang… What was it that he said that time…" Jake to somebody in the background, "Hey, Bible school dropout, what did Stevie say about Sam and the whole forgiveness thing?" Sam heard Bree talking in the background, but couldn't hear what she was saying. Jake soon transferred it, "He said that for somebody who claims to model his life and church after Saul.. Paul… After the Acts of the Apostles, you sure don't act like you're willing to lay it all down as a show of faith."

Sam said, "I give everything to my Christian belief system and to my church."

"Well, you weren't persecuting the church before your change. You were persecuting the negroes."

"Is Stevie modeling his activism after Paul?" Sam asked.

"Stevie's no Bible thumper, but you know how it goes - you hear a certain amount of lessons in your childhood and at least elements of them stick with you. I don't think he's necessarily modeling after this character, but I think that the intent was ingrained. If you repent, you spend your life turning away, yeah? I just think that his demons bother him more than yours bother you and that's okay. Nobody can make you live a life of fighting to right all the wronged people in your past. You prayed, you wrote a few books, you built a church and you're living your life."

"Maybe if Stevie stopped fighting God so much, his demons would be dealt with too."

"Maybe. Or maybe Stevie fights with the God that you believe in because he sees you as one of his demons…" Bree was saying something in the background and Jake tried to muzzle the phone, "He's Stevie's brother, I'm not just going to hang up on him."

"Stevie don't even like that...!" There was some shuffling as she yelled, through the muzzle.

"Sam, let me let you go. We got a thing," Jake said.

"Sure, Bro…" Sam winced at his own uncomfortable wording and said, "Ok, bye."

Why was he doing this? Jake was right. Calling Mason, calling Jake, pulling Cheri aside, and whatever else was not the way to handle this. He needed to just be straight up with Stevie and let him know that if he intended to cut ties with him, then he needed to do that. If he didn't, then Sam wanted them to work past whatever this was. He'd recently even said that he proved his love by siding with Sam. So, why now was he pulling away again? Honestly, Sam felt like he deserved to know exactly what this was. Maybe he was puffed up in that thinking, but that didn't change his mind.

.

When he showed up at Stevie's again, the children were outside, with Stevie playing. He almost kept driving, seeing Stevie look so happy and refreshed, but he turned into the driveway and stopped at the end, to not come too close, in case one of the children were less than careful. Stevie paused when he saw the truck, but continued to play, lifting Sterling into the air and moving him around like an airplane while Charmaine insisted, "I'm a truck! I'm a truck!" and made her best truck impressions.

Cowboy came up to Sam and said, "Hey, Uncle Sammy. Are you alone?"

"Yeah. The kids are with your aunt…" With that, Cowboy was gone. He obviously only came over for them. Sam came upon Stevie and just watched him for a while before asking, "Can we talk?"

"Not right now and not today. You can call my office and set something up," Stevie said. "My children need this version of me, not the one that talking to you is sure to bring out."

Stevie forced a smile and Sam turned to Sherwood, "Hey, Sheriff. How are you?"

Sherwood sighed and said, "I miss Mase. Daddy said that we probably won't ever see them again. That's what happens when people die! Friends shouldn't move away and never see you again!" He looked like he might cry. Stevie put Sterling down and went to see about him, while the boy was finishing up his thoughts, "Also - Please don't call me Sheriff. I don't like that name."

Stevie bent down in front of Sherwood and asked, "What can I do to help you to feel better right now?" Sherwood shrugged his shoulders. "Okay. Well… What if I told you a story about me when I was a little boy?" Sherwood seemed curious, but not convinced that this would be helpful. "I have to tell you the truth, I was a little bit older than you are when this happened, but when I was a little boy, my best friend had to go away too." Sherwood looked surprised. "Yeah. He was older than me, but I had known him my whole life - kinda like you and Mase, but instead of being a month older than me, he was some years older."

"Like me and Cowboy?"

" _Just_ like you and Cowboy!" Stevie said.

Cowboy's ears perked up too. "Nonsense, Daddy. I would never leave Sherwood, or any of my siblings. They're the most important people. You said that we're usually closer to our siblings than to our parents!"

"Yeah, but sometimes, you can't control it. Mase couldn't control it and I couldn't control it when my friend left, either," Stevie said.

Cowboy wondered, "Where did he go?"

"He went to prison," Stevie said. Sherwood's eyes were large and Stevie answered his presumed question, "But Mase is not in prison. Little boys don't go to prison. Mase is just gone with his family to a place to live that his parents chose. My friend went away because even though we were friends, he did something bad and he had to be punished for it."

"That's sad. Did he become a nice person?" Cowboy asked.

Stevie took a swallow. "I think so. I think he is a better person than he was. I don't think he'll ever do something so bad again."

Sherwood held his hands up and asked, "Wait, so you got your friend back?"

"Not exactly. He was gone for too long and I grew up and we became very different people. We talk, but we aren't friends. But, it's okay. Because all of the loneliness that I felt when he left, I eventually found other people that made me not feel that."

"Wait, why did you feel lonely when you had a twin?" Sherwood asked, very confused.

"Well… What do you feel?" Stevie asked him back.

"I feel like my favorite person who is not my twin is gone and her favorite person who is not me is gone, so we both are sad together. That's not lonely, right?"

"No… That's…"

"Grief." Sam said, soberly. "Like someone died, even though they didn't. They might as well be, because no matter what you do, you can't reach out to them…"

"Like Mommy's going to be…" Sherwood said, with tears in his eyes. Stevie collected him in a hug before he started crying, but that didn't stop him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked Sam, while rubbing Sherwood's back.

Cowboy defended, "Uncle Sammy was just talking about when people are far away and you can't be with them. I don't think he meant to make Woody cry…"

Sam offered, "It's okay, Cowboy. Your dad is right. I should have considered my words more carefully. I was actually talking about what Stevie was talking about… Because, I was his friend."

Cowboy gasped, "Uncle Sammy, you went to prison?"

"I was a bad person." Sherwood was staring at Sam from Stevie's arms. "I did so many bad things and I taught my little brother to do bad things too. I was glad to be removed from his life. Even if he was lonely. He was better off without me like that, in his world. I love that everything that you do for your brothers, you show them how to be good boys. I am so proud of my brother, for becoming a good man, even though I taught him to be bad. I'm proud that he has five children who are all good people. This is what I would have always wanted for him. Even when I was doing bad things. And hopefully, the moral of the story was even when you lose a friend, you feel better about it after a while. You get over it. You find other friends, make your own families and live the best life that you can."

Stevie cosigned, to his sons, "And y'all are gonna be great at that, because you're already better than me."

Sherwood's eyes widened and he said, astonished, "That's not true, Daddy. You're a superhero."

"And when you're a man, you'll be an extra-superhero," Stevie said.

Sherwood shook his head, "That's impossible."

"It's gonna be possible by the time you're my age, because y'all are such excellent people that you'll make it possible."

Cowboy excitedly invited Sherwood, "Hey - let's go start working on our extra superhero costumes!" Sherwood allowed Stevie to put him down. Sheva rushed away with them, too. Charmaine and Sterling were still pretending to be vehicles, none the wiser.

Sam sighed and folded his arms, exasperated. "You know that you can't punish me forever. You'll either have to tell me straight up to stay out of your life and we'll split custody of the rest of the family like Mama and Auntie M. did when they were younger, alternating holidays and whatnot, or we can work on fixing this."

"You can have them," Stevie said. "I don't need to split custody."

"And what about Daddy and Mamma T? Just throwing them out with me? Throwing Stacie out?"

"Do you think I only see them when you're around? Holidays don't mean anything to me. It's all a bunch of capitalist bullshit, mostly founded in religious oppression, suppression or colonization."

"Okay, well what about birthdays? You think I'm skipping Mama T's 50th when it rolls around? You think I won't be at the hospital for a full three days whenever Stacie and Joe have their first?"

"Sam… I don't care, Man. I'm sure I'll find a way to see everyone, if you're displeased with pretending to be civil when we get strong-armed into frivolous celebrations. I'm way too tired to fight with you or argue, or hear you out, or whatever it is that you're here for. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but my wife is dying. My children are terrified. My friends are gone. The last thing that I have thought about is 'How can I work out details with Sam?' Just, do whatever you need to do. I'm focusing on taking care of my family and trying not to succumb to the anxiety that my wife is going to drop dead thousands of miles away, because she's busy working, instead of resting, and she has a serious illness."

Sam moved in to hug him… "Sam, I swear to God, if you give me another non-consensual hug…" Sam held his hands up.

"How bout I stick around, help out with the kids, you maybe take something to help you get a few hours of sleep, and I won't throw it in your face or feel like you owe me or anything. Just here out of love and support."

"No, thank you," Stevie said.

"Stevie… I get it. You lost your support system and you blame me. Well, let me help you! I can't get your friends back, but I can be here for you like they would have been."

"No, you can't. You can't be here like they would have been. You're different people. With different ways. You can't fill that many holes by yourself, because you were never filling any of the holes before them!" Sam was on his phone and Stevie frowned.

"Hey. Hey, Cheri." Stevie turned red in the face. "I'm at your place. I stopped by uninvited. Stevie is worn out and I want to help him. I don't know what to do, but he won't listen to anything that I have to say. Could you help me help him?"

"You fuckin'sonofabitch," Stevie sputtered through gritted teeth, before snatching the phone from him, "Hey! You already know that you can't say anything to change my mind."

"I'm not going to try to change your mind, but I do want to be sure to remind you that one of the main reasons that you try to get along with Sam in front of the kids is because you didn't want them to know that sometimes siblings are not close. You wanted to have to face that with them only in the event that they ended up on bad terms or once they were older and not still forming bonds."

"They're inside, though."

"I hear Charmaine and Sterling."

"I mean, they aren't paying attention to anything. They're being motorboats!" At the word motorboats, the younger twins looked up and Stevie waved at them and smiled. They resumed their playing.

"I want you and your brother to talk. He's trying so hard to get on your good side, Babe."

"We talked about this…" He mumbled.

"I know we did, but now he's calling _my_ phone, so what would you have me to do? Ignore his calls? What if it was an emergency? What you had been in a wreck or something. I can't afford to ignore him and I feel like you can't either."

"Directly connected. Doc said directly connected."

"Well, maybe talk to him about that, then."

"I don't have time. Your interview is coming on shortly and I promised the kids that we were going to watch it together. Sheva has already chosen her interview outfit for the viewing."

"PLEASE get that on camera and send it to me. I need my booster club today."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired. The interviews and the press releases are a lot and Hunter and Ryder are both acting extremely weird about the C word. They're like acting like that's all I am now and it's quite a thing to try not to focus on it while everybody around me is."

"We should have come with you!" Stevie walked off with Sam's phone and he stood there with Charmaine and Sterling, who now were invested in trying to figure out if Stevie was on the phone with their mom.

After a while, Stevie came back, handed Sam his phone and said, "Don't _ever_ call her again. I don't care what happens. She has enough to deal with without you barging into her space and centering yourself because I won't let you have your way. If there is one thing that I do not stnd for, it's putting her at any risk."

"I didn't think that I was. Sorry."

Stevie cheered to the twins, "Time to go inside! Say bye-bye to Uncle Sammy!" They obeyed, joyfully, and when they were inside, Stevie paused at the door. "Whenever I was in the institution, when I told Cheri to stay away from my family, everybody just thought that I was being bitter and moody. The only person that even asked me what it was about was Stacie, and whenever I told her, she said that it was unfair, but she was glad that I told her. You never asked. You just kind of declared that it was ridiculous. You and Daddy. Usually your go-to. Just say that the problem is Stevie and move along."

"Make me understand it."

"Why is that _my_ burden, Sam? Why can't I just enjoy playing with my kids and cope with missing my wife without having to whet your desire to know why one person out of the multitude doesn't see you as a saint or savior?"

"Because the one person means more to me than any multitude!" Sam cried out.

Stevie shut his eyes tightly and gestured towards the garden patio, a short ways away from the house. Sam took a deep breath and went towards the patio. Whether or not he and Stevie came to a compromise for their brothership… _That a word?_ He knew that this conversation would be the defining moment of what happened from here on out. It had to be. He couldn't keep up with the push and pull between them...


	18. The Repressed Memory

_So, I have finally come to the last portion of those chapters that I power wrote and between those, this, my life, and just my spirit in general, I GOT to take a short break. I finished up some aesthetics that I'll be posting soon to mysamcedesmadness and I have a DMMO that I'm trying to edit. For now... I am SO sorry, friends._

 **The Repressed Memory**

They sat down across from each other and Stevie held his hands in his lap, "It's interesting that you talk about how much I mean to you. You say it with such conviction, emoting every signal that you would need to in order to get someone to believe. It's almost as convincing as it was whenever you came home with Mercedes, after not having seen us for months following your release, and you brought this new person to us, this person that you had to know wouldn't be well-received, or maybe you knew that she would, because you could never do any wrong in Mama and Daddy's eyes, no matter how different it was for everybody or from what we'd always been taught. You were their best and favorite - both of them. Stacie was _at least_ their only baby girl and that gained her some likability traction, but not much, Honestly, I think Mama was jealous of her spirit. She was genuinely what Mama always pretended to be. You convinced us that you had become a different person, too."

"You and Stacie were my main motivation while I was locked up. I wanted to know that you were good and okay. I couldn't come home right away and I didn't let Mama and Daddy come get me, because I didn't want y'all to see me the way that I was when I got out. Reduced to nothing. Having nothing. I wanted to be something by the time you saw me, something other than a complete letdown."

"But, when you did come, you weren't much more than what you were when you got out. You brought danger to your new friends and you decided to bring it to us to try to get it off of them," Stevie accused, in a low voice.

"I was hurting and needed a breather and wanted to take that time to replenish myself with the people that mattered the most. All of you. I am so grateful that I was able to come back and be accepted, but you changed your tone very quickly when you saw Mercedes. But now, you love her. She's one of your favorite people in the world. You confide in her. You trust her. You give _her_ a chance to be your family."

"She's a victim. She doesn't even know it. She has no idea how much of her shit is because of you. I feel bad for her. Because she's got kids with you and they're going to be raised in this feaux society where colorblindness is spoken of and injustice is hidden from them. Whenever they finally have to face it, I don't know who will be more hurt, her or them."

"They aren't being raised to ignore injustice…"

"My children already know what institutionalized racism is. When Cowboy explained it to Heaven, he replied that it can't happen when God is in control. So, he'll one day get to experience a crisis of faith _and_ a troubling racially motivated experience." Stevie shook his head, "And it hurts my heart, that Mercedes' black children don't get to be fully aware of their situation, because their white daddy is teaching them that it doesn't matter, because they're God's people, and as long as you have money and fame, that might be easier to portray… but they _will_ see with their own eyes someday. I would rather my children know everything ahead of time than have to unpack baggage that I could have trained their muscles to carry. It just feels like you're not even the repentant, sobbing mess that came home with this woman, asking his family to see why and how he changed and accept it."

Sam nodded his head. On that day, he had read out of his journal to Stevie and Dwight and it was very emotional for him. Maybe, _this_ was Stevie's own version of that and he wouldn't make the mistake that he made when he and Stacie came over. This time, Stevie could say whatever was inside of him.

"The place that I was moved to after Cheri got pregnant during negligence, I had a doctor there that I decided from day one, I was just gonna tell her everything, even if it was on record, then hope that we didn't have to do any long drawn out probing and stuff. So, I told her everything, I talked about everything, I put everything on the table, and I asked her if I could go. She told me that my family, namely my brother seemed directly connected to all of the issues that I seem to have and if I wanted to explore that more, I could stay. I didn't stay. But, I thought about it a lot. And whenever I would go to talk to her, I'd try to understand why she said that. Why she didn't tell me that I was responsible, because we are all responsible for ourselves. She told me that I was definitely responsible, and that she wasn't suggesting in any way that I wasn't. Solely responsible, she said. But, clarified that one can be responsible and still have outside factors directly connected.

I was going to be a killer. That much was clear by the time I was nine. We just didn't know because none of us studied serial killers or early signs of psychopathic behavior or anything like that. But, would I have began manifesting those signs if it wasn't for my upbringing and my environment? Probably not. And would I have killed on the specific night that I first killed someone if Mama hadn't told me to? I don't know. I don't think so. I think that if I had been able to leave and maybe immediately seek help whenever you finally got around to trying to talk me out of the life that I might have been able to change. But, with the way that I actually am now, after years of drugs and therapy, maybe not. Maybe, if it wasn't Hank, it would have been Max. Maybe, it would have been Aphasia or Quinn, or both. Maybe, it would have been some other person that being locked up kept me from coming across, but I think that it would have happened, whether or not I got out when you told me to."

Cowboy stepped out and Stevie smiled, "Hey - can you do me a favor and just keep an eye on the others for a few while Uncle Sammy and I wrap up some grown up stuff?"

"Of course, Daddy. Uncle Sammy." He went back inside.

Stevie said, "None of their goodness comes from me."

"That ain't true."

"How would you know? You've only ever spent time with them in the last month and it's been limited. They had a year of seldomly seeing me and before that a year of me being militant and busy, and before that, me just being me, while their mother was understanding, patient, open-minded, supportive…"

"You're those things too."

"Yeah, we get real nice whenever people don't want us around. Wearing masks, making vows, doing the dance. Are you the person that you become whenever you want forgiveness? Because, I never am. I try to be. I want to be. But, I know that I'm not. Cheri giving up on me was monumental. She took years of exploitation and toxicity from her parents, some degree of abuse from me, even, all of those months of the misconduct of Terri Schuester as her coach, and multiple people in the industry that sought to corrupt her as Marley made her a star, and BAM - she couldn't handle being with me anymore. She didn't want it for our children or for herself."

"People fight, even when they love each other."

"She was ready to divorce me," Stevie admitted. "She just didn't know how to bring herself to do it because she was worried about what the children would think of her if she did. Even if I took the wrap, she was afraid that they would resent her. And, I didn't make it easy on her. Always posting these long declarations of how much I love and appreciate her, while I knew she was trying to move on. I would intimidate people that I thought were trying to get close to her. I was extremely difficult about letting go of her and she thought that I was being a big person and giving her the space she needed. I wasn't doing that at all. I wanted her to break. It was six months before I just gave her that space and it was more like, I spun out of control and kept a distance so that I wouldn't give her more reasons to want to divorce me. But, rewinding to the doc and this theory about direct connection that my family, that you have to my… personal choices…

I talked to her the whole time that I was inside and whenever I was getting out, she gave me a good report and wished me the best. I left there and Cheri was missing, at the time, so… I didn't really have a chance to think about all of the stuff we had spoken about. Finding Cheri, vowing to be a family with her and Cowboy, escaping Max with Jake, spending some time in jail for being kidnapped, coming home to a really shattered girlfriend, who had not ever officially been my girlfriend, but now was somebody that I promised to do right by and make this family situation work with and we hadn't even been romantically involved for months, then we were suddenly a couple, suddenly a family, and we were fucking our pain away and struggling to find some normalcy in this world, with everything that had happened. Shortly afterwards, I'm shot, she's a wreck, we're restarting and resetting, developing in front of reality cameras, and honestly - time just got away from me as it relates to recovering and rejoining society like a rehabilitated person. I didn't have a Mercedes to usher me in and build me up and coddle me. I had somebody that I had to try to build up and coddle, because just loving me made her get kidnapped and abused. Well, she met her friend Jane online and I met Jane and her husband Mason through her and they were both pregnant with twins and I was still kind of a fuck up, but trying to be that person that I had vowed to be, with the mask and the dance - you know The Evans False Promises Package, and luckily I had a biracial friend to help me with my biracial son, because Cowboy could have come out a completely different person if Jake wasn't around at the time. And luckily I had Mason, who Jake and I affectionately named the White Guilt Encyclopedia, because he has information about all of the shitty white dudes things that we overlook on a daily basis and he helped me to see them in myself and check my privilege.

That concept of being "woke," is honestly kinda like on They Live, when they put on the glasses and suddenly they can see all of the subliminal stuff. I didn't consider myself woke, by a longshot. I just was learning how to engage with the world through a gaze that was not white specific. Helped me with my family and with new friends. Helped me want to be a better person - one who holds myself accountable.

But, I didn't just wake up one day and decide that I wanted to fight for rights or whatever. I was actually startled awake by this awful memory. You might remember it. You might not. You might remember it happening differently. Feel free to offer your versions after the report. But, people say stuff like, "2 years ago, Stevie got really active in social justice," and that's true, but not the whole truth. Roughly 2 years ago, I decided that I wanted to reach out to Matt Rutherford. I decided that because a little time before - maybe a year or so, a little less, probably.

I was lying in bed with my wife and my twins. We hadn't been married for a long time, though I always feel like I've been with her my whole life because she's the person who knows my entire soul. We're in bed, after a day of wrangling five children, being pulled in various directions for our careers and our families, and juggling that with friends and the time that not one set of small twins takes, but two… Because Cheri didn't feel like Sheva and Sherwood were ready to have to leave the bed, but here were also Charmaine and Sterling. Now, I'm barely getting playtime with my wife, obviously - as you recognized that no more kids popped out, and on that night, all I wanted was to put the whole collective into their expensive ass cribs and love on my woman. She was so pretty that night, too. She was soft, smelled good, all the stuff that had made her irresistible to me in the first place, and this is now… what… 4 years later?

Anyway, she was precious, is precious. She looked pretty much like she did when we met, meanwhile, I've already started graying! Little patches, by my ears. If I grew out sideburns, you'd see. So, I start messing with her, suggesting that I put all these sleeping babies into their nearby cribs and get some cuddle time with her. She _knows_ cuddle time means fuckin'. We've been together a while, now. So, she begrudgingly lets me carefully put them into their cribs and snuggle up to her and I asked her if she's got on makeup. Knowing my wife, she'd dress up to go to bed, even with four out of five kids laying on her and with hours of little to no sleep and a lotta to all work. And she said, "I just look good." True statement. True statement. "Tryna be like Mama T when I get on her level." Good goals. Mama T is fione as hell and has the prettiest face. Then, she said, "Black don't crack," and I had this instantaneous negative reaction to it. I heard this cracking sound, this awful noise. Do you know what I'm talking about? Because with that phrase and that sound a flood of emotions and memories came back. You ever have that happen? Do you know what time I'm talking about?"

Sam thought for a moment. _Black don't crack._ That was a pretty common phrase, and he honestly had heard it multiple times and it never brought up anything that… "Phil Lipoff?" Stevie offered." Sam's face went pale. He was trying to think of something personally related to himself. This was one of Rick Nelson's shitty things. "You remember him?"

"Yeah. Of course. I hadn't thought about him in a while."

"Wasn't in your absolution journal?"

"No, I don't think I counted him by name. Probably just in the numerous people that I stood by and watched be hurt, and I will admit that it should be something that I should have remembered, but we did so much wrong that changing and promising never to do it again and not looking back and harping on every single detail has been the only way that I could move forward."

"Congratulations."

"Stevie, I am listening. I promise. I hear you. You were like seven when that happened."

"Yeah. My son is nearly the age that I was when I committed my future to a hate group." Sam's eyes glazed over with tears. Stevie put his hands on the table and they were shaking, but he seemed to need to do something with them. "To put it into perspective, my son is with his little brother designing hero costumes at 6. I was with my older brother committing to lie for his friend who permanently injured another child." Sam tilted his head in confusion. "You've never been curious about what happened to the people that you once knew? Never looked them up or anything? Because, I have. I looked up Phil. He didn't have his own online presence, but his mother posts about him on hers. I've talked to her too. He doesn't remember us. He doesn't even remember Rick. She asked me if it was an accident. Told her that I was sure that it wasn't, but I was too young to be brave enough to admit that. She was very understanding of that and knew that Rick is on death row. She only wished that someone would have told the truth about him sooner so that he could get some help. 'Maybe that family he killed would still be alive.' I didn't tell her that I knew somebody from that family, but I suddenly felt this huge burden.

If I hadn't listened to you, if I hadn't trusted my brother, a whole family might be alive. There are so many people that Rick left in his wake… And here I was, thinking that this was what we did - for friends and for family. We covered, we kept quiet, and we committed to whatever lie would help them out. Learned that before puberty…

I'm not mad at you about Jane. You didn't _force_ me. I was responsible for my own decision. You were simply directly connected, as you have always been. I'm mad at myself. Because a few years ago, when this awful memory came flooding back into my head, when I remembered that a boy a little bit older than me, a little bit younger than you made a comment that's pretty common in black culture, by the way; Rick Nelson hit him in the head with a baseball bat and said, "Sounds like it does to me." And, you laughed with him."

"I didn't know that it was going to be permanent damage. I don't even think I knew what 'permanent damage' was at the time. We were all kids."

"And Rick wouldn't have gone to jail. He would have possibly gone to a rehab center or maybe juvie and rightfully so! I didn't care about Phil, but I knew that wasn't right and it wasn't right to lie. I told you that we needed to tell someone what happened, and what did you tell me."

"I told you that we don't tell on our own," Sam said sadly.

"What reason did you give me?" Stevie demanded.

"Stevie, we've been over the fact that I told you and showed you so much wrong stuff when we were younger. We both know that this is just another version of our dirty laundry being aired out."

"Make that get the statement out of my head when I look at my wife, my children, your wife, your children and I see you not taking action to prevent it from happening to someone else! What reason did you give me when you told me to hold on to this secret when I was little?"

"I said that Phil wasn't worth it.."

"Wrong. You said no nigger is worth it!"

"I said that." Sam nodded. "I'm not proud of it."

"You didn't even remember it until I brought it up! I was sharing an intimate moment with my flawless wife and it was rudely interrupted by this traumatic memory! After I calmed down and tried to convince myself that it was a conscious nightmare or, or, or, it wasn't as bad as my mind was making it out to be, I looked him up and it was worst! He can barely say a sentence clearly. He blacks out. He is going to have to be cared for for the rest of his life and he was like 10 when this happened! And that monster, that white supremacy machine that makes it possible for people to believe in young white predators and not see the victims of color that they hurt as worth it is still functioning and still thriving! I had to try to do something. I had to try to counter it before my kids encounter it, before my wife encounters it _again._ And… I can't knock you for wanting to never look back on the cog that you were in this machine, but if you think that in my reflexes, when my first impulse is defend you, the one who was WRONG, against my friend, who maybe could have been more easy on my family, but wasn't maliciously targeting an innocent life - if you think that I can just be okay with that, when I lost so many nights of sleep as a child and when it came back to me over that day… The day that honestly pushed me to want to do better, save somebody from something like that…

None of them are safe. They can go into a cheap diner and get assaulted and stripped by cops. They can stop at a home to ask for directions and be shot. They can get attacked and killed in their own neighborhoods. It happens so often that they had to make an entire movement just to demand that people stop killing them and brutalizing them. I never wanted to think that I still had some of this internalized, and I had to find out, directly connected to you, that I do. Cheri could have easily claimed deniability if the allegations ever came across her feet. Most of the people involved could have, because of hearsay and lack of evidence. I keep telling myself that it was for her. I had to. Because just realizing that it was for you… That's… You aren't worth it, to _me,_ Sam."

Sam put both of his hands over his face, "What can I do?" He reached out for Stevie's hand, but didn't grab it. "Stevie… You _have to know_ that when we were kids, and when this happened, that was so long ago, none of us are the same people that we were and all of us have had to examine ourselves and make ourselves better. I realized that I must have affected you in a host of ways and I have nightmares, panic attacks, and bouts of guilt and depression over the things that I have done, too. Pushing you away, losing you has been one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me and I have never wanted to try to prove myself to somebody so much."

"Our actions prove ourselves. I'm sorry, Sam… I know that you believe in what you do. You believe that preaching to people and getting them to reach your level of spirituality helps them out in some way that those of us who are solely investing in tangible results just can't fathom and that's your business and you're free to mind it. There are people out there that I did things to, too. There are people who, no matter what I do will never see me as anything other than who and what I was. I got lucky. Matt forgave me. Aphasia even forgave me. Andrea…" His tears fell and he quickly wiped them away. "But, for all of them, there are two or three people who I will always be the guy who - fill in the blank - to them, their friend, relative, whoever. And, I have to live with that as much as I have to live with the fact that your words ring in my ears. You… said none are worth it. You were like 12. I get it. But, I thought the world of you and we don't yet have the technology to remove mental tattoos. So, when I don't see you doing anything to prove that you aren't the same person, I can't help but have an inkling that you think that of my wife, my kids, my loved ones… And we both know that having a wife and kids of your own of another race doesn't exempt it. Plenty of racist people are racist towards the very same people their spouses identify with, sometimes, the spouse hates the demographic, as well. Our society programmed antiblackness very efficiently. It takes me constant work and examination not to let any of my own into my home and my relationships and I'm still learning. And, I still chose you. Maybe I chose Cheri. I don't know. But, the fact that I don't know just reiterates what my doctor said. You're directly connected, and I don't like the way that this connection makes me feel about myself, about you or about my loved ones. I love them. And I know you're all "love is of God and only Godly people truly know love," but I know that I would walk through a fire for anybody in that house. I would walk through a fire for you. But… with you, the flames really do seem eternal. You go on with your life and live it in peace. I live mine in torture, not because you have God, and I don't… Because I have guilt, and you don't. You've been forgiven." Stevie tossed his hands up. "So, why work any harder against a system that you put years of work into? You've got your ticket into heaven, right? You've got your spiritual mansion built up there. No need to rally. No need to round up. No need to square off… Unless of course you stand to personally lose something."

"I'm gonna prove you wrong," Sam said crying.

"That'll be beautiful." Stevie got up and went into the house without another word. Sam simply sat at the patio by himself, crying silently. After a while, he took out his phone and called Mercedes. "Hey," he tried to make his voice sound clear, "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Of course. Are you okay? Where are you."

"At Stevie's."

He heard her disappointment, "Sam, please stop it. Give him some time and space, or you're going to make all of it worst."

"I did already. I just… I'm going to leave him alone. I'm not going to bother him or be around him. I think that'll be good for him, right now."

"That's very big of you. I know it isn't an easy thing for you to do. You helped to raise him."

"I can't move. I feel like I just got hit by a truck and instantly paralyzed. I had no idea that Stevie felt the way that he does. I should have asked, sooner. Instead of presuming and assuming and all the other -mings."

"What other -mings are there?" She asked with a slight giggle, hoping to lighten it a fragment.

"Conforming. Probably the worst. I wanted to be a new kind of preacher. I wanted to be hands on and in the thick of it and doing everything, leading by example. I wanted to be like David, fighting Goliath, bringing victories with each growing battle against tyranny.. And I became more like, like…"

"Like King David?"

"Ok."

"No… I was trying to finish your thought. I'm not agreeing! Sam… You know that I think you are the best that there is or ever was. There's nobody that I would rather spend my life with. You told Stevie he can't be everything to everyone, and newsflash Mr. Amazing, _you_ can't, either! So, just keep being everything to me, and I'll help you be whatever else we can fit in. That was pretty much the reason I got married; I don't know what _you_ signed on for."

"I thought that I could save people. I thought that I had done my part, fixed what I brought into my friends' lives, made my wife happy, began a beautiful family and started a robust church. I got comfortable and because numbers are well and things are favorable, when I couldn't seem to save my little brother, I guess I blamed him for it. I felt like he'd closed his heart to God and to reason, and to goodness… When really… Stevie is probably one of the brightest examples of Christian love that I have ever seen in action."

"Not _Christian_ love, because he isn't one, but definitely love. Come on, Sam… You can't have really believed that with the wide range of folks we have in our lives that only some of these were capable of loving like this. That's arrogant, and I think shortsighted. Stevie is as passionately loving as he is a fighter. That works for him. That worked for you. Maybe now, it doesn't. You don't have to be guilty about who you are right now, or at any time. We are ever-growing creatures. Your _younger_ brother has his own principles and it isn't your job or responsibility to try to save him or to make him think that you feel like it is. Just love him. All those sinners in the church house and you gotta nitpick my bro-in-law?"

"I won't. Got my _dragging_ today. That what the kids say?"

"Stop trying to say what the kids say, Sam. For goodness sakes. Do you need me to send a couple of drivers? Pick up you and your truck?"

"No… I'm on my way home…" Sam couldn't resist looking into the window of Stevie's living room before setting off. All of the children were in front of the TV, excitedly watching (he presumed Cheri's interview) and Stevie looked like he'd be okay. He would be okay. He had to be. Sam couldn't believe that this was it for them. He just needed to follow Quinn's lead, back off and give him time, maybe even become someone different. Ever growing. He left.

.


	19. The Relationship

_So, okay... I posted this in LOTBS, but as it turns out - this has a lot of stuff in it that might need to be here instead of the drabble dump. SO, I'ma leave it up over there, but I am also putting it up here._

 **The Relationship**

Mother's Day was typically a special day for everybody in the Evans clan, for different reasons. For Stacie, it was the day that she observed someone who was not necessarily good to her, but impacted her life for 16 years. She always arranged some flowers for Mary, called her Aunt Maybelle, to check on her and dared to create a dedication status, which she noticed that of her family members, the only person to like it every year (love it once those reacts came to be) was Stevie.

Stevie never actually said much about her himself - not to the public, at least. He tended to change his profile photos to something of Mary, only for the day. He didn't do it this year, instead having made Cheri and the five his profile. His dedications were definitely for the living mothers that he knew. For the third year, he created a little collage and tagged Cheri, Tanisha, Mercedes, Aphasia, and Jane, with photos of them and their kids and words that he really felt about all of them. The comments would be disabled, because his pages often attracted trolls on the subject about how he hates white women, most likely because of his (expletives) mother and only ever actually even considered her on Mother's Day.

Stacie would check everybody's pages, to love their individual posts. (Cheri got her own separate posts of however they celebrated it this year and every year, they shared the memory video of Stevie proposing - the reason why Mother's Day was really special in that household.

Sammy found out that Mercy was pregnant with Heaven on Mother's Day. He always made a point to remind people of how very different from his mother that his wife is as a wife and a mother and how he is happy about it. He gave props to Quinn, Tina, and Rachel, as mothers he knew and watched raised excellent kids. He gave honorary mentions to Mama T (out of habit, because they didn't really have a great relationship, Shelby (despite the fact that she didn't even RAISE her daughter, but that she gave her away to a couple who could), Emma and Shannon for all of their work with all of his orphaned or discarded friends, with a memorial for Emma! And he even made one of those generic "God Bless All the Mothers" posts, where he tagged a slew of other women that he knew, such as church members, Joe's family, extended Evanses, and typically Jane, Aphasia, and some others would be listed there. Stacie obsessively noticed that they weren't, hence - things had not been fixed.

Tanisha found out on Mother's Day that Dwight wasn't just being a gentleman for all those months, but had actually been attracted to her and fallen for her (though they didn't have their first official date/anniversary until a few days later). So, Tanisha and Dwight now made their way to New York so that she could see Jake (Because before they ever even saw an Evans, Mother's Day was their special day to be able to finally have some mother-son time), _and_ they simply spent their anniversary in New York, as well, unless they made a trip of it and traveled elsewhere after the dedications. Stacie would see the photos of them, having fun and being loving and feel some kind of way about it. Sure, there were many photos of Mary and Dwight and them enjoying Mother's Day; but some of the backstories of those photos made them harder to look at than these clearly happy ones of her dad, with a wife and a son that wasn't part of the family that she had been brought up with. Meanwhile, that family was in shambles and Dwight didn't seem to be taking any action to bring Stevie and Sam back together.

Whenever she spoke to him about it, he felt like it wasn't her place to get in it, either. When she asked him if he would get involved if it were Stevie and Jake fighting, he just reminded her that "Stevie and Jake always work things out for themselves." Which she knew to be false. If they had an issue, Mama T _always_ inserted herself and reminded them that they're brothers and that they needed to settle things. It didn't happen as often since they stopped working and networking together, but it was still a thing that happened. She wondered if Dwight told his precious wife to mind _her_ business in _those_ instances. No. Because, he gave her whatever she wanted and did whatever she asked.

She immediately felt guilty about those thoughts. It was only natural for the woman to speak to them, just like it was natural for her to want to speak to Sammy and Stevie. Mother's Day just brought out a lot of bad feelings, every year. Everything from her deceased mother, her brothers not getting along, her dad moving on (which she knew he deserved to be able to do and she wanted him to, but it still bothered her whenever she tried to remember her mother), Stevie basically replacing her and Sammy with other people, and the fact that all of these people, who never tried to be the best them that they could be… who she still found it a miracle that they hadn't turned her into a complete and utter monster… They all had these happy families and beautiful kids and she was just sort of pushing along, working on herself in the meantime.

Nothing life-changing or relationship altering happened to her on Mother's Day. She sort of just watched her family truly have things to celebrate, from afar, and tried not to be bitter or angry that Joe loved spoiling his own mom each year; while she could only mourn hers… whether or not hers deserved it.

There wouldn't be any changes this year. She was the in-town kid wrangler for when her brothers had their husband on wife celebrations, and she did it by herself because Joe was going to be loving on his mom for hours and because all of her "close" people had real things to do with their time. They had mothers in their lives for Mother's Day. She spent it with children… that she loved… that weren't hers and she had to try to be cheerful and playful, when she much rather would lie in bed and mope. She had taken on the task to avoid lying in bed and moping, but she always spent the time checking social media and seeing everyone be so happy that they had this person for a day!

This person that she did not have, and this person that she did not become… But wanted to have and wanted to become. A mother.

.

Dwight and Jake let Tanisha sleep in while they worked on breakfast and the day plans. Bree had practice in the morning (Jake's wouldn't be until later that evening), and the time in between would be a day with her two favorite boys, an early dinner with the bunch and then some alone time with Dwight in the hotel. Jake just came over to the hotel, since his apartment wasn't even hardly fit for him, much less his cherished mom. He brought all of his stuff that he was going to give her and Dwight handled everything else for the day.

"This is a really nice basket… Looks like one of Mason's," Dwight said.

Jake nodded and cheered, "I love Stacie and everything, but every since she stopped working with products that might be deemed un-Christian, she lost my service. Besides… I figured you'd do a Stacie gift set."

"You're still in touch with Mason?" Dwight asked.

Jake cleared his throat, "Come on, Papa D… You know that Mason and I are friends too. He wasn't _just_ Stevie's and that fall out did not involve me, nor did I support it. If it makes you feel any better, I have to go through Madison to get to him. It's a pain in the ass, but Mason needs the space."

"I don't feel better and I understand what happened even less, now," Dwight confessed.

"Well… As somebody who isn't close to either of them… You don't have to understand it. Your sons are all safe and accounted for and even if there is some beef on the table, We always manage to make an interesting meal, yeah?" Jake was glad that Dwight left it at that. The last thing that he needed was Dwight trying to get into the Stevie/Sam/Mason mess. HE didn't even want to be in it. But, he was best friends with two of them, saw both their points, and knew that Stevie felt bad, despite the fact that Mason just 'couldn't risk it.'

Jake and Madison got together whenever she was in the city. Bree was fine with it, but Jake and Madison hadn't hooked up since before she finally settled down with Roderick. Bree made sure to let him know that she would understand if something did happen between he and "his ex," which technically Madi was not.

Jake affectionately thought of her as the "Gateway Drug." Whenever he met Marley, he was no virgin, but he didn't really know himself as a man, yet. He had been trying to be the man of the house his entire life, and tried to be a man for both his mother, Noah's mother and Noah's sister at the bright and shiny age of 14, when Noah died. He wanted to be a better man than his father, than his brother, and than he could imagine. And he met Marley, and she convinced him that not only was he, could he be and would he be, but that she knew how to help him to become that. She was very helpful. She _did_ build him, as far as his celebrity/career went. But, as his mother always thought, whether or not she actively interfered - he was too young and she had too much power.

Now, Jake never felt like Marley exploited him or took advantage of him. She did, to a certain degree, but there was mutual interests gained from their business relationship and in their personal relationship, their feelings were real, for a time. But, once Jake began becoming the man that he thought that he wanted to be, he realized that he wasn't that man. He was a man who wanted to dance and maybe sing. He was a man who loved being on the road and meeting different women. He was a man that wanted to have a certain kind of fun that Marley really didn't want to have with him. She'd had her lowkey "rebellious years," went through college, started her career and it was thriving. He had a stressful childhood, broken family, got involved with a huge scandal and hit overnight celebrity status at 17! His rebellious years were marketed away and he became a puppet for the industry… for Marley. He was 18 when they began seeing each other, but by the time he was 20, nearing 21… It was just hard to keep being that kid that everybody loved seeing strengthen the people around him. He _was_ that, but he wasn't some mold. He was a complex human being. He was a young man, learning himself. He was a person who deserved his chance to have experiences, like anybody else. (All words of Madison when he looked miserable at his own 21st birthday party and her brother, his brother and their posse were all too busy partying to even notice!)

Madi noticed, and she seemed to get it. After all, she and Mason were raised by performers. They were pressured to perform their entire lives. They were theater kids, pageant kids, cheer kids… like Cheri, but on overdrive. Whenever she went on to be in a music video as a dancer, they put pressure on Mason to do better, but sort of let him have unintentional freedom as they focused on molding her career. As soon as she was 18, she rushed away to a performance arts college, even though she had been working as a dancer since she was 13. She knew about pressure and molding and she knew that sometimes people in our lives could love us and want what was good for us, but not _know_ what was best for us. And, yes… Mason and Madison were as old as Marley, so it wasn't like he sought out someone younger and more vibrant or even that he was trying to _replace_ Marley, at the time. But… He and Marley had never made a connection. They worked together, were attracted to each other, liked each other and started seeing each other. He didn't even really know if he wasn't a goal on Marley's life's list. But, Madison was a real human. She was cool. She was hot. She was Mason's "big" sister. And… they made a connection.

And she had years of dancing experience, thus was soooo flexible… And so was Bree. Bree and Cheri began hanging out when Cheri was interested in getting back into pageantry; it was Bree who asked her why she didn't just try to be an actress, instead? After all, much of the pageant lifestyle was pretending to be something that they weren't, all with a smile. Acting… She could pretend and have a range of emotions, while at it. As Cheri and Bree began hanging out, Jake began tagging along. He was in the market to break free from Marley, and getting close to Bree did all of the work for him. He still felt guilty. He hadn't disliked Marley and he hated that he wasn't man enough to just end things, both personally and professionally. When she found out about his cheating, she claimed to be "disappointed." She severed all ties from him and quickly began seeing Ryder.

It was a little bit longer on the hanging out and hooking up before Bree and Jake became a "couple" and that was a pretty open interpretation. They figured that if they needed labels, an open relationship sounded like the thing that they were doing. Because, they also lived together, split bills and slept in the same bed, but they weren't exclusive or territorial.

.

 _Jake had called Madison because Mason had not been reachable and he had not called him back when he tried to reach him through the PickMason site. So, she told him that she'd call him back, but when she did, it was like a conference call, where he couldn't see Mason's info…_

" _Hey, Madi… Any luck on Mase."_

 _Mason said, "Jake, what did you want?"_

 _Jake chuckled, "I wanted to know why one of my best friends vanished and I can't catch up with him…"_

 _There was silence for a while, then Mason asked, "Did you want to know, or did Stevie?"_

" _Stevie told me that you two fell out,but he didn't give me any details and you're avoiding me. Does this have anything to do with what Jane called me about?"_

" _Yeah. Apparently the 'Talk to Stevie's method was not that great…"_

 _After they talked everything over, Jake assured Mason that Stevie didn't mean that. Stevie loved Jane. Stevie loved Mason. He'd talk to Stevie about it. Mason wasn't interested, but he did take the order for the basket. "I'll send it to Madison. She'll make sure you get it."_

 _And now, weeks later, Madison came to town, slept at Jake and Bree's, brought over the basket and vented about Jane, Mason and this whole "Evans mess."_

" _This Whole Evans Mess" could easily be the title of any of their life story._

" _How do you side with them?" Madison wondered. "They're not your family, not really. We're just as much your family as they are."_

" _I'm not siding with them. I know Stevie acted rash. Stevie knows that too. But, yeah - I support my bro. It's kinda my thing. He was just too stressed. In the past couple of months, he's had a lot happen to him…"_

" _Yeah, so did my sister-in-law. She was there to watch her friend die. She was roughhoused for the second time by an unlawful officer and already having a traumatic episode as this happened. So, she dug into your Nazi brother. That's like 60-80% of her activism. She's done it for Matthew. She's done it for Steven. She's done it with names that people shove to her on social media… never was a problem until it was him. What makes him so special?_

 _You know… my parents are racist. I don't have any other way to say that. If they had known I messed around with you, I don't know how they would have reacted, considering that they lost Mason a couple of years ago. They lost Mason, because no matter who the other person is, Mason is on Jane's side. Our parents raised him. They created him. They did their racist ass best. When it was a choice of them or her, it was her, for him. You and Stevie… you two are basically dead to him. And he loves you. He loved Stevie. More than Stevie's brother, from every account that Stevie ever gave any of us. Why is he worth losing that?"_

" _He isn't. Stevie is taking some space away from him. Matt and Phai took some space, too. Stevie has me and Cheri, and they're pretty much operating like she's not going to make it. So, I have to be here for him. I don't care about… him. And Stevie is trying not to. But… that's hard._

 _It wasn't easy for Mason to cut off your parents. He cried about it, a lot. He called us and asked us to talk him out of going back on it. He screenshot some of their comments and looked at them whenever he felt weak. He had to work on making that space. Stevie has to, too. Sam says he's going to try to fix it, but who knows?"_

" _It's not fair. They're good people, who have used their money and their time to help other people, including fucking Stevie! Jane's life work, outside of her multiple degrees has been fighting for people and fighting against the villains out there. Mason's work is loving people and helping others to be better at loving the people around them. They are the best kind of lover and fighter and many times, their dedication is at their own expense. This time, Jane found information on somebody who happens to be what reformed? Reborn? And I guess everything is washed away, including all of that which he never even fully paid for? Why?Why do people like the Evanses get second chances while people like Mason and Jane have to hide their kids and live in the shadows for fear of their lives if they dare come up against a monster? Why do the people who have actually hurt people, some of those people the very people right next to them… Why do they get redemption? What kind of a world, what kind of people value these people, over mine? My loving, fighting people?"_

 _Jake rubbed his face and reached out to also rub her hand. She was distraught. "Honestly, I kinda wondered what in the "All roads lead to Fitz" was going on in this group when I first got tangled in the web of secrets and lies." She didn't get the reference, but he kept explaining, "I came in really hot, ready to destroy, ready to hunt and target and fight - and I didn't have even a pinch of Jane's style, experience or talents. But, everyone was willing to challenge me over him. I thought it odd. I thought it gross… But, it's more than just him in the 'mess' that Jane got into. I take it that she didn't give you details?"_

" _Mason gave me some, but I could tell he was holding back and at this point, Jane is just frantic and not wanting to die. This man killed someone that he knew his entire life for his family. She hadn't thought about that in a very long time, until of course this same man told her that he would do the same to her. Somebody who played with her children, has maternity photos with her, slept in her home, worked with her in the office and in the field… There are levels to the amount of trust that was lost when she realized that not only was he not actually serious about the work that they do, but that he never cared about her, either."_

" _He does, though."_

" _I mean… I guess that's one way to think. Another is… if he killed that other guy, who he knew much longer than her, worked closer to and all of that, why wouldn't he mean what he said?"_

" _She could have backed off… for her friend…"_

" _She could have. But, this wasn't actually about her friend. It was about Samuel Evans, and can something like him be anybody's friend?"_

" _He's changed," Jake said._

" _You don't even believe that. Jake… don't be this way. You and me are always straight up with each other."_

" _I'm part of it too. I kept it secret. I didn't tell. I shut up, for the good of the group and not for Sam, and I resent him a little for it. I had everything that I needed to take him down, which is what I wanted to do… but I couldn't do it. Because what if that made everything worse for everybody and what if that made things bad for my mom? This isn't a situation where they're getting a second chance. It is a situation where the rest of us could suffer. Every human being out there is a little bit selfish and a little bit greedy. We care about what affects us more than others. Don't believe me? Why did Jane take her family and run instead of exposing Sam, which is what she believes to be the right thing to do? Because, she didn't want to do that to her family."_

 _Madison groaned, "I feel like I have been watching one of those new shows where the protagonist is an anti-hero or a straight up evil human and everyone cheers them on, no matter how unethical their characterization is! It is beyond frustrating!"_

" _I know. Imagine watching it from inside of the family…"_

.

When Madison came to the city, she and Jake always met up. She had one year old twins, and Jake felt like twins were literally taking over, but only because _he_ knew so many! Mason & Madison. Stevie & Stacie. The children of three of them. Plus Stevie's mom. That was like six sets of twins he knew, seven if he counted the mom/aunt. If Stacie had some as well, he was going to honestly feel like he was in the Twilight Zone. Oh! Mercedes had some too! He felt bad that he always thought of them last.

Whenever he first met her, he was obsessed. He wanted to know everything about her and everything that she knew about Noah. She was one of the people who knew him the most and the best. Sometime after meeting Stevie… his craving for Noah died down, probably because Stevie had been honest with him.

Mercedes had not been. He understood why, but it did affect what he thought about trusting her. He drifted from her, and he never did like Sam, so having Stevie as a brother was cool, and Stacie was definitely his "little big sis," years older, inches shorter, but he kept Sam, Mercedes and Dwight at an arm's length.

He loved his mom being happy. He loved her getting over his dad. He didn't love that it was with Dwight and he didn't love their "sect," which he silently referred to as the untrustables.

Dwight raised at least two Nazis. There was no getting around it. No sugar coating it. No nice way of putting that. They were each sixteen when they did their most fucked up Nazi shit, and their sixteens were 8 years apart. Based on that math, Jake knew that between Sam's fucked up Nazi shit and Stevie's fucked up Nazi shit; no progress had been made in the racial integrity of their household. So, for at least 24 years that he knew of, Dwight was a Nazi-rearer.

But, in the 8-9 years that Sam and Mercedes were togetherness, the 7 that Cheri and Stevie were, including 4 years between Stevie's fucked up Nazi shit and rehabilitation, (where a trained professional told him that his family was a problem with his mental health) and the time frame from distrusting Jake at the beginning of his senior year, to hooking up with his mom shortly before the end of it…

Jake just didn't know that he trusted that was enough time.

Was he a hypocrite for trusting Stevie, of the same stock? He didn't think so. Stevie said more racist shit to him their first couple of years of friendship than any human he had ever met. He saw Stevie's change. He watched it happened. He helped it happen. Stevie never said, "I'm healed from my past." Stevie was still growing, to this day. Stevie asked how he could do better. Stevie did the things that people suggested to do better. Stevie saw a professional to unpack his childhood and his hate group programming. He took medicine. He focused primarily on this when he was locked up.

Sam… had some kind of epiphany in prison, and found God and suddenly wanted to be seen as different and earned the trust of some people… not the kid that he threatened early in meeting him. Even IF he thought Jake's snooping was dangerous, Jake knew that he wasn't, so being threatened was jarring, especially since he was allegedly wrong about Sam being a bad guy.

And Jake wasn't sure that Dwight was much different than the dude that told Matt Rutherford to get off of his property, as though asking if he knew why his son would murder his family was somehow unthinkable. The world was full of nice ass racists. Jake felt like Dwight and Sam were those. Stevie was racist, too… but he at least worked on the shit. Also… those two stuck together, so Jake couldn't really trust Dwight by association. He knew more about some of the stuff from Dwight's old days than his mom did. She and Dwight couldn't talk about who he used to be or how his kids were raised. If she thought too much about that, they wouldn't be here right now. Jake wasn't going to tell her anything unless there seemed to be danger. If they lasted, maybe it could happen. Trust. Love. Etc.

Dwight seemed to be trying. As soon as he obtained his wife, he adopted a grown ass man, encouraged him to make an official name change, and threw a party to celebrate it. Jake went along with all of it. Stevie found it charming and was the most excited person about the entire thing. It was one thing to become step brothers, but the official nature of it really won Dwight over for him. Stevie and Dwight were going great at that time.

Things changed. Jake kinda felt like if the man could fall out with his own flesh and blood regularly, he didn't need to open up too much… he wasn't even sure that his stature as stepson was even really important. Dwight loved his mother. He was pretty sure of that. But… he also thought that he was likely still a racist SOB.

.

After dinner, Dwight and Tanisha brought Jake and Bree to the hotel with them for a nightcap. There was enough room for everyone there and Mama T was not quite ready to part ways with her baby boy, yet. Bree admired the gifts and said, "I can hardly wait to be a mother, so I can get a special day to be observed."

Jake laughed and said, "You do get one. It's August 14th and we called it your birthday, when I last checked."

She rolled her eyes, "A birthday is not the same as Mother's Day and you know it!"

"Yeah. A birthday, you get gifts for doing literally nothing and Mother's Day you get them for pushing out and bringing up a kid," Tanisha pointed out.

"Or raising one that you didn't push out. Or, being cut open and having it removed," Bree added.

"You're just adding on to my point, Sweetie. That Mother's Day is earned and your birthday is a charity event… that I think Jake does very well, to say that you two aren't whatever… I don't understand kids' relationships these days."

Dwight cleared his throat and asked, "Can I get anyone anything? This is a nightcap, right? Wine? Coffee? Tea? Water?"

"I mean, we're a couple, just not exclusive," Bree said.

Jake just said, "Coffee, for me."

Dwight pointed two gun fingers at Bree, "And for you, little lady?"

"Water's good," she said, with a smile.

Tanisha gasped, long and hard, and shook her head, "You're pregnant! You didn't drink at the restaurant. You're turning down coffee, when we call know that you thrive on a diet of coffee and chronic - I did an entire bit about it on my tour. You're testing the waters about Mother's Day because my son has made you a fucking mother to be. Oh my God. LIQUOR, Dwight, please?"

Jake squinted his eyes at Bree and almost started laughing. His mom was usually right about stuff like that. She had detected early almost every Evans grandchild, with the exception of Cowboy and Heaven, but she had to be off about this. Dwight wasn't moving. "Dwight, Honey…?" She got his attention and he quickly went to fetch the drinks.

Bree sat on the couch by Tanisha and said, "I am not trying to trap Jake or anything. I am not trying to cash in or take advantage. I'm just young, careless and not really sure what I want to do…"

"Honestly, I wish it had been the white girl. She had a good, steady job, nice head on her shoulders, loved him… more than I gave her credit for… Bree… Do you even care about my son?"

"Mrs. Puckerman…"

"Evans," Dwight and Tanisha responded at the same time as he came back with the drinks.

"Mrs. Evans, I care more about Jake than anybody else in the world, with the exception of myself. Like I said, I don't even know if I want to have a baby or not. I don't know if Jake wants to, but I think he doesn't. At any rate, I wasn't going to spotlight this topic tonight. I was going to wait until I knew more about my feelings about the situation before I even brought it up to Jake…" She looked at her glass of water and said quietly, "I am gonna get a cab and see you at home." She couldn't even look at him as she got up.

"Nonsense," Dwight said. Extra cab fare? Just, stick around. We don't have to talk about that. It is none of our business, anyway."

"Where is the bottle?" Tanisha asked, of the glass of whiskey.

Dwight took her hand and told her, "I'll show you." She frowned, but followed him out of the room. "Don't be that way to her. She's already feeling bad enough, Nish."

"I'm not trying to be any kind of way with her. I was just… shocked. Jake's just not getting to a point where he's living his life for himself, finally. Now, he might have another person to come and redirect him from his dreams and his goals?"

"And… If he's anything like his mother, he'll gladly do that for his child… Which… We're not 100% is actually happening, yet. Try to be gracious. She can't drink or smoke and now her hormones are messing with her." She nodded her head.

Whenever they went back in, Jake had Bree's hand and announced, "We're going to hit the road. Hope you enjoyed your Mother's Day."

She gave him a hug and then gave Bree one too, "Hope you enjoyed yours…" She stared at her belly and forced a smile.

.

Jake was winded. A baby. He had helped to bring up a few babies, but they could always be given right back to whom they belonged. He even had just promised Stevie that if Cheri was gone, he'd be signing on to parent whenever Stevie couldn't do it himself. But, something about this thought of Bree having his baby and him _having_ to have a child to look after and bring up… in _this_ world, with _his_ bloodline? He had to admit, that did not strike him as great news. All those other times, he was simply being a good friend for periods of time. Being a dad? Full time? Overtime? He sat next to Bree and asked her, "What do you want to do and what do you want me to do? Perfect world, if you had your way - what do you see?"

"Perfect world? Your mom would have thought it was good news. You would have. We'd say that we'll do whatever we have to do for them. But, that's already been shaken up. Ummm… I'm going to go to the clinic and get everything worked out."

"I will support you, no matter what. If that's what you _want._ If it isn't, please tell me and I will support that."

"I… Don't want children between us. I like what we have, and I know that it's temporary and not likely to grow - but it has been enough and a baby sounds like… Too much. So, I guess what I want to do is get rid of the problem, and what I want you to do is help me with that."

"So, you need money and a ride, or is there something else that I need to do for you, as well?"

"That should be enough," she said softly.

Stacie was listed as online late. Jake sent her a message, not being able to sleep, himself.

Jake: What are you doing awake?

Stacie: I watched the kids, and now I keep thinking that I hear them stirring. What about you? How was MD dinner?

Jake: It started out great, but went really bad.

Stacie: :( NO. Is Mama T okay?

Jake: She will be. I'm feeling a way, though. Shit… I feel like you're the only person I could talk to right now. Your brothers are driving me nuts and Papa D kinda was, too.

Stacie: … Everything always seems to flow so well with you and them…

Jake: Just you and Stevie and Stevie is /not/ okay right now, so…

Stacie: Well, what happened?

Jake: So… In case it comes out of my mom's big mouth - Bree is apparently pregnant, but she's not going to have it, or not planning to, anyway…

Stacie: *Crying emoji* Are you okay with that?

Jake: It doesn't matter. It's her body. But, I have mixed emotions. I feel like we certainly aren't ready, but also… Will I wonder about it for the rest of my life? Lol.

Stacie: I will. Is she dedicated to the idea of not having the baby?

Jake: I'm not pushing her on this, Stacie. And don't you do it, either!

Stacie: I'm not. I just wanted to know if she could be persuaded, or if she's committed to not having it.

Jake: Did I fuck up by telling you this?

Stacie: Like… If somebody else was willing to adopt and raise them as their own, would she be willing to carry to term, particularly if they were going to take care of her the whole way through?

Jake: Is this a personal inquiry?

Stacie: Joe and I have discussed it. The process is long and seems draining. This would be an easier option and would be family, at least.

Jake: And I just have a son or daughter thinking that we didn't want them?

Stacie: Is that worst than wondering about who they could have been for the rest of your life?

Jake: There is no worst or better. It's not up to me. I'm not going to push her in either direction, and you ought to leave it at that.

Stacie: I'm going to just let her know that this option exists and tell her no pressure.

Jake: The additional option is the pressure!

Stacie: Or, it's relief! She might be beating herself up wondering what to do. This MIGHT be some comfort to her.

Jake: Bree isn't like you. This early, that's scientifically just tissue and cells and she doesn't see it as anything but that. And, if she is going to have to do what is best for her, she doesn't need all types of inference from your faith system about this.

Stacie: Wow. I wasn't going to do that to her and I'm offended that you think I would. Being pregnant IS a blessing, to me. But, I am a college educated woman and I know how science works and I know people and hormones. When do I ever push my faith on anybody? Wow. Goodnight, Jake. Wish you the best.

.

Stacie: Hi, Bree! I wanted to see if you are willing to speak to me about your current situation and whether or not you want me to get involved in a possibly helpful way. If you just want me to mind my own business and never bother you again, I will completely do that. If you're the least bit interested in possible other options, I will make myself available to speak with you at your earliest convenience.

Bree: I didn't know that I had you added on my friends list. Did Jake put you up to this?

Stacie: No. He told me to stay away and say nothing.

Bree: He doesn't want a baby.

Stacie: I heard that it is all up to you.

Bree: I don't want a baby with somebody who doesn't want one with me.

Stacie: I want a baby… But, I haven't been having the best results. Nothing seems to be wrong with me, so as a woman of faith, I've rationalized that maybe it just isn't "my time." Until Jake confided in me… And I thought, but, just maybe… it is.

Bree: Maybe… Can I call you and talk to you about it?

Stacie: Yes! Definitely yes! No pressure, though.

Bree: I want to think about it, first. Also, I don't have your number.

Stacie: We have been really failing in building relationship with you…

Bree: It makes sense. We all know that me and Jake aren't a forever thing.

Stacie: I don't know nothing. Here's my number...


	20. The Remembering

**The Remembering**

Sam noticed Stacie pass by his door on her way to Joe's office, She didn't speak, but he didn't know if she was avoiding him now, or if she hadn't noticed him in his office. Whenever she left without saying anything, they looked right at each other. She forced a small smile, but she didn't stop to say hello. Sam had added them to a group for Planning a Hawaii Family Reunion, but Cheri had been the only person to answer with a "WOOOOOOOO! I haven't been to Hawaii yet, believe it or not. #BucketList"

Stevie liked her comment, but didn't add to it. Quinn began a conversation in the thread about if they were going to make the trip, her daughters could help with babysitting and Beth would be willing to help out with general things too, if she felt weak or sick during the trip. Sam got up and caught up with Stacie, "Hey, hey, hey…" She paused, tensed up, then turned around and smiled at him, politely. "Have you and Joe talked about summer? We're gonna try to get the family together to go to Tina's."

"Well, we would, but if you're going, who'll be here at the church?"

"The associate ministers on the church board are able to handle things if Joe and I are gone for a period of time. That's their main goal."

"I guess he and I will go over it again, then."

"Just.. Keep up with the group and y'all can even brainstorm there."

"Okay." she left.

Sam headed back down the hallway and peaked into Joe's office, "You have a moment?"

"For my bro and Pastor? Duh," Joe said, getting up, but Sam came in and sat down.

"I used to think that my hate ruined them - Stevie and Stacie. I thought that if I could make it back to them, show them my good and give them new directions, I could change the outcomes of their world."

"You _have_ done that," Joe offered.

"But, my things are still shaking their lives up."

"Obviously, you can't undo the past and although God forgives, mankind isn't as evolved as He is. As long as you know that your decisions are faith based and emulate the one true living God, you have no worries, Sam."

"I don't know that. I've been selfish, reactive, and hurtful."

"Basically, you've been human and it's bothering you."

Sam scoffed and sat back in the chair, "Joe, you're human, too. You never have the kinds of problems that I have. _You_ should be shepherding this church. I tell you all of the time."

Joe shrugged his shoulders, "What God has for me is for me. This is _your_ church, and I'm happy to be able to grow my faith in God here, under your leadership. I don't have the kinds of problems that you have because I'm not you. I don't have your past. I didn't have your childhood. I was sheltered, home schooled, in church for every consciencable reason and rhyme. I spent holidays, weekends, early mornings, and basically whatever free time that I had being engulfed in the Bible. Honestly, I don't know that I had very healthy expectations and proper knowledge of the real world to effectively serve Christ in it. How do you bring lost souls to Him, when you know nothing of lost souls? It wasn't until Shane gave me a job at the community center that I even began to really open my mind, and I'm thankful for any place that can help me not to be stagnant."

"You're always so encouraging."

"I wasn't trying to be, but I'm honored that you feel that way."

"You think people seek things in their friends that they couldn't get from their family, Joe?"

"I guess so. I couldn't say for sure. I get everything that I could possibly want and need from my family, and I spend more time giving those same things to my friends. But, maybe it's that what you say is true, and I'm simply not the protagonist in any of my friendships, but merely a supporting role."

"Your brain, Man…"

"We tell parables to children all of the time. They help them to learn and to grow. The Good Samaritan. The Sower of the Seeds… They don't even have _names,_ but they affect the story in such a way that He who we call Lord used them as examples. I'm fine with being an example."

"When do you get mad, though?"

"Oh, all of the time! Have you ever turned on the news? The President trying to take food and resources from people in need, trying to start wars, instead of clean up all of the ones that we've been sitting on for generations - I'm often very angry about the declining of humanity and the state of the world. I try not to show people my anger. I try to instead show them the source of why those things make me angry. War makes me angry because I love peace, so I try to show that, and so on."

"Promotion to Pastor, granted."

"Sam. If I were ever to Pastor a church, it would be a church that needs me. This one needs nothing. _This_ is where I am the person who gets what he needs from those around him." Joe smiled and nudged his head towards Sam, "Hair's getting long. Keep this up and people are really gonna think that you are trying to be me."

"Oh! Glad you bought it up! What do you think about us doing a hair drive? We might not be able to pull it off this year, but what I'm thinking is that we get with one of those cancer wig companies, have some barbers up here for a certain amount of time and whoever wants to donate can do it here, like a blood drive."

"Sounds like a wonderful idea. You wanna also do a blood drive?"

"I didn't think about it."

"Well, considering that Cheri's particular brand of illness affects the blood and marrow…"

"Yeah. But, blood drives can be ever so often, right? I was thinking with the hair drive, probably set it for right after it warms up outside, that way everybody that's been letting it grow out over the winter can participate, if they want… Get with the board on arranging both. Also… Get in that group chat about Hawaii!"

 **.**

Time felt like it was dragging and her body and mind were both extremely tired. From the moment Stevie and Cheri came back into town, things shifted. That happened with them, sometimes. Stevie and Cheri were two of her most dear people in the world, and not really a part of her everyday life. So, a shift was always expected. But, this time, after this - she was unsure if the shift was temporary. A shift had taken place with her and Sammy. She and Sammy had not had a real fight, _ever._ She tried to remember a time when it happened and drews blanks, only able to recall arguments that generally ended when Sam came to her, apologized and saw both of their sides. He let her have her way, often. He was one of very few people who did. Maybe, she had let herself be blind to everything everyone had to say because of that. Or maybe, she was letting Stevie's bad time rub off on her and she was upset that he had punished her for trying to be there for him.

She called Cheri after an interview and they talked for a while, avoiding the obvious topics, until she asked her if she was keeping an eye on Stevie because he seemed to be doing poorly and Stacie mentioned the key… Cheri quickly put Stevie on 3-way and at the end of the call, it was determined that Stacie would go by the house and pick up her key. That was that. Stacie had her key back, but she felt bad about the situation, still. And this thing with Sammy was weighing on her, affecting her. Whenever he and Mercedes picked up the kids Monday after Mother's Day, they didn't even say anything to each other. Mercedes just offered, "He's trying to give you your space and whenever you're ready to speak to him, he'll be happy to be able to, again."

Meanwhile, Joe had been planning on trying to launch a new outreach program in all of the community center affiliates for job related counselling, considering that many people seemed to be losing their insurance or having a harder time getting access to it.

A couple of weeks had passed since Stevie's rooftop admissions and she had not even figured out how to breach the subject with Joe. On one hand, it was Evans family business and she didn't even want to involve her sweet, innocent husband in her brothers' surefire catastrophe; but keeping secrets from her husband was not a part of her marriage plan and even in their vows, they had promised to always be open and communicate with each other, so that they could work through anything together.

Now, not only was she keeping a secret that seemed capable of destroying couples and friendships and sibling relationships, but she was going to keep a secret while in consideration of possibly taking in a child? What would Mercedes do? Always tell Sam how she feels and what she is going through? Mostly. Though, lately… She wasn't sure. The fact that her closest brother and her favorite ship were both falling below her expectations was hurting her as much as Stevie's withdrawal and Cheri's disease...

Mercedes happily opened the door when she heard Stacie's voice on the other side. "Sis!" She cheered and hugged her. Stacie came in, a little bit shaky, but smiling, too. "I didn't think you'd be by so soon after having all of the kids. I'd be asleep for most of the day, personally."

"They practically take care of themselves. Though, I have no idea how y'all all manage so many heads of thick, long hair!"

"Fortunately, I only have 3 of those to situate on the regular and whenever the others are over, I call in backup!" She frowned, "Or, I used to. Jane and Mason were extremely helpful and skilled at it. Jane's been having all of that hair since junior high and Mason learned how to do her hair while they were dating. For all those nights that she wanted to spend hours studying, but knew that it took hours to situate her hair."

"So strange how abruptly they left and went dark on everything," Stacie said. Mercedes nodded, but Stacie could tell that she had something else that she could say about that. "Like, one moment, you and her are working on your website, she and Stevie and Cheri were all friends, their kids like family, then BOOM - they vanish, Stevie and Sam fight, Matt and Aphasia aren't in his life and Jake doesn't seem to know anything either, even though he and Stevie and he and Mason are super close…"

"I think that friendships and family require a lot of work and sacrifices and sometimes, the work and the sacrifices don't seem worth it. If they're real, they'll make it through anything."

"I believe that, too… But… They seemed real. Everything seemed exactly as it should be, but now Stevie is sad and alone. Cheri made it back in time for them to have Mother's Day together but, she's all he has right now."

"She's all that he is _allowing_ himself to have. Stevie has options. He just doesn't want them, and that is fine. Sometimes, we need time to ourselves to figure out how to proceed next."

"I just feel like this all began with your fight with Sammy and the Sammy/Matt thing and…"

"It isn't my fault that Stevie and Sam are fighting and it isn't my fault that Jane and Mason left!"

"I wasn't… I'm sorry. I would never suggest that."

"Stevie is within his rights to not want to see Sam, but people are within their rights to not want to see Stevie, too and that isn't Sam's fault or Stevie's. We make our own choices and people have their own reactions." Mercy looked sad.

"I know. I'm sorry. I was just fishing for the root. I didn't mean to stir anything up." Mercedes sat down and Stacie joined her, on the couch. "All I know is that Stevie said or did something to Jane. Mason and Jane left. Stevie and Sam argued. Stevie hinted that Sam killed somebody. Cheri… mentioned that Stevie was just trying to protect everybody. Did Stevie kill someone for Sam, or…? Did Sam kill someone and Stevie tried to protect him? Or… What happened? And please don't refer me to Stevie or Sam, everybody seems to just pass the buck and none of us are coming up with solutions!"

"My solution is to just mind my business and trust that in the event that this might directly become my business, Sam will let me know."

"So, just forget about what I heard? Just keep the secret from Joe."

"You don't even actually know what the secret is, so all you're keeping from Joe is the same stress that hearing partial accusations has brought you. It is up to you whether you share that plight or protect him from it. Sometimes, I have to protect Sam from things, too. He doesn't realize it, and if he knew - he would insist that I don't. We just have to make individual choices sometimes, even as wives."

"If Sammy hadn't made an individual choice, would the fight at Stevie's have happened? With Matt?"

"I said sometimes. He definitely should have come to me about his feelings, but he was being extremely difficult for me to talk to, so I stopped talking and instead of it helping, it just made him meaner and a little crazy. Is that my fault? No. But, he could easily say that his reaction was to my choice, so while I have to consider his reactions before making a choice, now… I know that I can't control them. Telling him the truth didn't help. Not speaking to him didn't help. So… I just speak to him about things that I think he wants to hear and keep my other things to myself."

"Isn't that a bad sign of trust?"  
"Maybe. But thinking somebody is about to get shot, then spending hours in the ER in the middle of the night is bad too. Marriage can be a pick a struggle situation."

"I'm never letting the struggle be secrets and dishonesty."

"You have that luxury. I've known Joe for 13 years and have never known him to start a fight. The times where I've known him to ever be in danger were all times where he was in the middle of helping someone and danger showed may never have to protect him from his ego or his temper. Sam is not Joe, though."

"Sam is apparently a stranger to me. He's got an ego. He picks fights. He threatens people. He runs off friends… Is anything that I think about my brother true?"  
"Everything that you think about your brother is true! And everything that you've heard about him is probably true, too. Because none of us are faultless and we all have light and darkness inside of us. You're lucky to never have to see that side of Sam, but we're all lucky that that side of him is just that - one side. He is 3 dimensional and most of his sides, most of his characteristics are good. If Sam was this way all of the time, then we would have a problem. There is good in almost everybody. In Sam, he is full of good, just not full of perfection. Expecting him to be is unfair to both of you."

"A little leaven, though…"

"I mean, I don't eat unleavened bread, but go off." Mercedes said. Stacie chuckled. "If you talk to Joe… Give him the chance to opt out of knowing what you know. I think that is your best route to go."

"Okay. What about you and whatever secrets you're keeping right now?"

"I imagine that they will simply blow up in my face as per usual, but also feel like that's better than infuriating Sam while he's having this Stevie thing."

"That's lifelong," Stacie commented.

.

Joe was on his laptop when Stacie came in. She smelled food and felt bad, because she hadn't told him that she would be late for dinner or anything. He sat up when he heard the door and she stepped in, "Hey… Sorry, I'm late. I should have called. I was with Mercy… I have some secrets that I found out about a couple of weeks ago. They're troubling and I honestly don't want to keep anything from you, but they are painful. Do you want me to share this plight with you, or would you rather not have to burden yourself with the knowledge?"

He set aside his laptop and reached for her hand, which she came over to and joined him on the couch. "Will it help _you_ to share it with me?"

"I don't know. I don't know if it would help anyone. I want to not have to hide anything, but I think it might just unleash more trouble."

"Trouble for you?"

"No, It's not mine. It's Sam's. Stevie's and Sam's, but it appears to really be Sam's."

"It sounds like you _need_ to tell me. For your own peace of mind. I'm always here for that." Stacie took a deep breath and took both of Joe's hands into hers to reply everything that she knew in the order that she thought to be true, but clarifying that she wasn't certain that it was the order it all happened. When she reached Stevie's outpouring on the roof, she finally took a break, "Doesn't that sound too damning to overlook? And… who… what… was he referring to?"

She watched Joe wrestle with the information for a bit, vexed, but then his face cleared and he gave her a smile, "I'm glad that you came to me. Do you feel better, having now gotten it all off of your chest?"

"Yeah, but I don't know what to do."

"That was what you needed to do. That was the only thing that you _can_ do."

"But…"

"Stacie, you told me when we first started seeing each other that you always felt like your family was keeping secrets from you. You wanted them to trust in you as an adult and you wanted to know the things that they hide. Now, you know and there is nothing that you can do about it. But, you know."

"What is the point, if I can't do anything about it?" She asked.

"I think that if God was revealing to you something that needed to be done, He would have revealed _that_ to you. He let you find out the things that you wanted to know. If there was no further sign, I would simply evaluate my feelings, see if I want to be tangled in the mess that this sounds like, and go on doing the work that God has already laid out for me."

"Thank you," she said and kissed him on the cheek. "I… Hope that I haven't hurt your relationship with Sam…"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, though he still had a smile on his face, "The only people with the power to do that are Sam and I."

.

Joe took a visit to the old community center in the space that was now the recognition room. They had placed plexiglass over Puck's Memorial and other dedications, articles and achievements were hung up on the walls of the same room. "Yo!" He heard from behind him and turned around with a smile. _Artie._ "I wasn't expecting you today. Got some things on your mind, or what?" Artie glanced at the wall that Joe had been staring at.

"We're upon Noah's 8th commemoratory. I still think about him all of the time, but not in the same way that I used to. When it first happened, there was so much subterfuge that we were all on edge and confused. Before "fake news" became such a buzzword, we were living in a bubble where everything that was said or done had to be looked at by about a dozen people, examined, and resubmitted in various ways. At first, they were saying that he committed suicide. Then, they said that Matthew Rutherford sent him damning photos of Sam and Mercedes and that he drank until he got alcohol poisoning, then they discovered that he had been injected with something to act as alcohol poisoning and that Matthew never even sent the photos to him…" He turned to face the wall and said, softly, "Then, they said that he was a killer."

Artie rolled over next to Joe and looked at the wall with him, "I don't believe that. I never did. I knew him since we were kids and even when he was in a fight, he never did anything that honestly hurt anybody. Mostly, he picked fights and then let himself get beat up to atone for all of the self hate that he held inside. Him killing somebody never made any sense to me."

"To any of us," Joe said. "That was why we simply ignored it and moved on with our lives. He was dead and his memory had already been clouded by all of the hoaxes and set ups from the other side. It was easiest to just let Beth know, and later let Jake know that he was not who people thought that he was. _This_ was who he was." He gestured his hands at the wall. "And whenever I think about him, I wonder about the man that they say that he killed. Jesse St. James. I wonder how close to what they say that he was was he and is there someone, somewhere looking at him and telling another _that_ was who he was. And, I wonder which of us is right?"

Artie reached for Joe's arm, "Jesse St. James was a genocidal maniac and sexual predator. Plenty of evidence was found to back that up. So, even if we were wrong, we'd still be right. Puck would still be the hero that we see on these walls."

"Why was Noah killed?" Joe asked, not Artie, but just out loud. "He and Sam were having battles over Mercedes. They were enemies. Noah flat out told me that he _hated_ Sam. He told me that he would do anything to keep Sam away from her… His relapse was after she rejected him for Sam. She ran off with Sam and he went to rehab, and shortly afterwards, for no reason, it seems - the white supremacists killed him, having had no enmity between them, no cause, and no real connection to any of the beef; they put work into getting someone inside of the institution, killing him, framing Matt…"

Artie wondered, "What is it that you think happened?"

Joe whispered, "I think that I need to pray for answers. Because… nothing makes sense about it, now." Artie nodded and squeezed his hand. Joe turned to his friend and offered a smile, "Sorry. Didn't mean to shake you up. Just... Can't seem to stop thinking about him, lately. More than I have in a long time. I forgave him. I actually said the words, "I forgive Noah for whatever he might have done." What if he didn't do anything? Or, what if he did do it, and this was retaliation? What if he did it, but what happened to him had _nothing_ to do with him doing it?"

Artie repeated, "Then, he's still the hero that we see on these walls…"

"You're absolutely right, Artie."

"I'm going to catch lunch at Pieces of Mercy. You want to get into that?"

"That sounds righteous. I'll close up here and meet you outside," Joe said. Artie rolled to the doorway, and looked at him study Puck's photos again. Joe smiled and turned around to leave.

.

Whenever Artie and Joe entered the shop, Unique and Becky cheered, "Artie!" then, noticed Joe and excitedly greeted him as well. Lauren came out of her office and hugged him, then she and Artie found a table in the cafe.

Santana approached and gave Joe a punch to the arm, "If it isn't the good Christian soldier. What's good, Joe?"

"Came to have lunch with Artie, but I think I have been forgotten about."

"Chill. Have lunch with me, then." She grabbed a table near Artie and Lauren and Joe joined her. "What have you been up to and when are you going to cut that hair? You aren't bringing the dreads back, are you?"

"I am done with the dreads, but I like it long. I may or may not donate it next year, though. Sam wants to have a cancer related drive set up at the church."

"Awesome. Let me know if I can help. That's my main cause," she said. He furrowed his eyebrows for a moment and she reminded him, "My mom died of cancer, when I was a teenager."

"I'm sorry. How could I forget that?" he asked, disappointed in himself.

"Well, we aren't close or anything and when the last time we even talked? You don't come to April Showers Blessings anymore."

"Usually a busy time at the church, with Easter, and Mother's Day coming up and that. Maybe, one year I will be able to get back into it."

"Oh, we get it. None of you really come around anymore. I thought that you were replaced with pod people and only were allowed to do things at the church," she commented, with a smile. Joe gave her a guilty smile and put his head down. "We should at least try to arrange like a fun night, or something. Just chill, like old times. And there's no more designated couples and such. I mean - won't be the same without Q and T, _but…_ I don't know. I still get antsy around this time of year. It might be good to just see all of you in one spot and know that we haven't become a bunch of strangers. That's depressing."

Joe offered, "Know what I find depressing… The possibility that some of us never knew each other… That we've been strangers the whole time…"

She blew out a gust of air. "Is this something that you're thinking about, or something you're going through?"

He shrugged his shoulders and admitted, "I haven't figured that out yet."

Santana slid him the pad to write down his order and told him, "Well, one thing I remember about you, and I know it's true because I'm good at this shit… You're a real one. You're genuine and sincere. If someone is playing you, I'll go full bitch mode on them."

He smiled, "I would never ask it."

"I volunteered." She put the order in a number holder and Unique came to get it and replace it with a number. "Who's got you doubting things?"

"I'd rather not get into it."

"It's Sam. You're such a late bloomer, Joe. Everybody else got their Sam doubt ages ago. It comes and goes for me. I just never got that attached. Just watched the rest be smitten."

"I love Sam. He's my brother in Christ. He's my comrade in the pulpit. He's family. But, sometimes… family has problems."

"Especially that family," Santana said. "You honestly got the best of the bunch. Stacie was always too good for what they brought her up in."

"I think she's growing weary of it, as well."

Santana nodded, "She seemed like it when I saw her. My advice for everybody is always, 'Take some time away from Lima.' I mean… It's Lima. That's depressing enough." He chuckled, then she reached out and touched his hand. "One thing that I know for sure. If there is a God out there, like you think there is - He _has_ to be on your side of anything. Who wouldn't be?" She smiled and clapped when their orders arrived.

.

Stacie was on the phone with Bree for a while after Joe got home. They were laughing and talking and he just went on with what he was doing until she got off of the call. "Is everything good?" He asked.

Stacie sighed and said, "For now. So… Bree discovered that it was a false alarm. She felt bad for having to call me and tell me, but I'm glad that it was. I mean - I really wanted to rush in and save that baby, but also… It might have been awkward. If we're going to get a surrogate or adopt, or anything like that, it would likely be best not to know the parents so well. It did ignite my baby fever, though. I know - I should focus on school and finishing up my degree and getting ahead in my career. I just… Everybody always looks so thrilled to be mamas. Every year. I'm kinda ready to celebrate it for myself."

Joe smiled softly and nodded, "I can see how this situation has stirred something up…" He seemed like he had more, so she stood there waiting, "But, I think, with the things happening with Sam and Stevie; it may be best not to think about children, right now."

"Oh." She frowned, "Is this about the outburst that I told you about?"

"Partially. I… Did you ask Sam about it? Have you spoken with him?"

"Dear God, no. I didn't want it to get any worse, and from my experience - Everything always happens worse than my mind can think up."

"I… want to talk to him about it," he said, out right.

"What? No. The last people that questioned this got ran out of town. What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that it is going to be impossible for Sam and I to serve in the same church if I have doubts and distrust and I am going to have faith that he will speak candidly with me and hopefully, it will end well."

Stacie laughed and said, "Listen… I love my brothers, I do. But… I mean, truth be told, Stevie liked Mason and Jane a whole lot more than he ever liked you, if he even does like you and I'm not trying to see you become a part of my family's fighting or their… Other things."

"I understand how you feel, but I was never the kind of man to back down from something dark, especially when I needed to see light shed on it."

"No."

"StaceFace… I'm not asking permission. I'm telling you that I have to have this conversation with Sam. And, that is why I think working on adding to our family is not the right time." She started crying. "I promise, that if it does not blow up into a major event, then we can start really speaking about children."

"And when we do have children, when I want you to slow down because I can foresee danger, are you going to listen, or will it be something that you _have_ to do?"

"If the danger is coming at me from within this family… I don't even know how to answer that question."

.

Sam shut his journal when Joe entered his office, smiling and shut the door and sat down. "Hey…"

"Sam, Stacie told me about the rooftop incident and I am hoping that we can talk about what everything means." Sam sighed and placed his journal into his safe and locked it up. "She didn't want me to talk to you and she didn't want to talk to you. She's scared. She's scared for my safety and she's also scared about what she might have to find out if she did speak with you."

"That's fair, considering. But, I need both of y'all to know that in NO universe would I ever even think about hurting _either_ of you." Sam looked ready to cry. "You… loved me from the moment you met me. You told me that, remember? When you called me to ask me not to react angrily to meeting up with Matt. You were the one who tried to broker peace between us, in the first place. You have only been here for me and cared for me. Why would I ever hurt you?"

"I don't know why _anyone_ ever hurts _anyone…_ But, your brother accused you of killing someone in front of Stacie. From the context and the fallout, it didn't seem to mean that this was done before prison or while inside. So… I have to know before we can move forward as friends and as brothers and co-laborers… What happened?"

Sam cleared his throat and said, for the first time in a while, "I killed Jesse St. James."

Joe let out a sigh and a couple of tears and nodded his head, "Okay…"

"You look relieved," Sam said.

"Yes and no. Murder doesn't bring me relief, but Jesse St. James… That is far easier to deal with than Noah." Sam got up and rushed over to hug Joe. Joe patted him on the back and asked, "How did this become a current topic?"

Sam sighed and let go and sat on the floor. "Jane McCarthy. Technically, Stevie and Babydoll were talking and being in the company of trusted friends, he forgot only for a moment that not everybody knew. He name dropped him and then lied about it. She didn't trust it and went looking. Let's just say that I totally understand why she had an office full of accolades and awards. The woman is a powerhouse of intelligence and she gathered enough information to draw the conclusion. Stevie didn't like that someone that he considered a friend was going to be coming for his family… Wrong… Okay… I asked Stevie to handle it. I contacted him and he promised to take care of it. I made him choose, and he chose me… And he regrets it."

"Chose you? Aren't facts fact and evidence evidence? What am I missing?"  
"She and Mason left because Stevie told her that if she did try to move forward with her findings that he would kill her." Joe's eyebrows raised and he sighed. "I know… The whole family, except Stacie. We always were taught to take action. Leap forward and protect family. Do whatever it took to keep your people safe. _I_ taught him that, myself. He was impulsive and he probably also was feeling a bit betrayed by her - he's Stevie. Loyalty is really deep and crucial to him. I don't know what he was thinking. I don't know why they didn't just talk. I don't know if she made a face or a move or something that made him feel like she couldn't be trusted if she wasn't intimidated or if that is simply his natural response, because he knows that people will believe it and he knows that he is willing to do anything for his family. Whatever the cause, he is done with me, over it. Over some other things, too… but this sparked it. Or the fight with Matt sparked it and this sealed it. I don't know. I just know that one moment, my brother loved me enough to take care of me and my blind wife through a concussion and to challenge his own loved ones for me… then… he didn't want to have anything to do with me. He lost them both. I think the cost was too high for _me._ "

"I think that Stevie is very deeply troubled, and going through a lot. But, I also think that you are too. I… want to give you counseling, if you're up for it. This is not human behavior, Sam - much less Christian behavior. We have so many false prophets in this world. So many bad shepherds. Your default can't be threatening and fighting and challenging people this way. Stevie is a lost soul, but you told me once that you wanted to be able to bring him into the light. How could you possibly do that if he sees that you're shrouded in darkness as much as he is?"

"I would love to have you for counseling, Joe…" he got up and returned to his seat, "And, I'm sorry. About Puck. I know how much you loved him and I'm sorry that I let him take the heat for what I did."

Joe looked sad again, but he just shrugged his shoulders, "At least you didn't kill him," he said. But, Sam could tell that this would bother Joe for a bit longer. Puck had been very important to him. Sam was glad that he hadn't killed him, as well… But he didn't for sure know that if he had come out of rehab still causing problems, and during that time, with the stress and the stakes; Sam didn't know that he _wouldn't_ have ended up killing him… All he knew was at least he didn't.


	21. The Recluse

**The Recluse**

 _I've always been an overachiever. As a matter of fact, 20 years ago, I didn't believe that there was a such thing as an overachiever. I thought… If it is achievement, how could it be over? Achievement is or isn't. There's not levels to the shit. It's not a game of points. It's life. These days, I get called a workaholic. Like there aren't worst things to be addicted to. I've quit smoking cigarettes. My wife always hated the habit, and being a father, I want to be around for my son for as long as I can. I often feel like it won't be long. That someone or something will take me away from them. Sometimes, I'm disturbed by the thought of being away from them. Sometimes, I'm comforted by the thought of being with my old family again… And that one foot in, one foot out is where this little journey begins..._

On April 3rd, the day after Matt and Aphasia's anniversary and Matt's last day out in the world, they intended to travel a little distance to Utah for a mental health center. Unfortunately, the evening of their anniversary; a fight broke out and it was quite extreme. For one thing, Matt thought temporarily that Sam Evans might kill him, and he didn't even fight back or try to defend himself. _Let him kill me. We'll be together again. They can stop haunting me when we're together…_

But, Aphasia was not onboard for losing him that night. Whenever she hit Sam in the had with her pistol and checked on Matt, he remembered that he had reasons to live, and he felt guilty. Guilty that he would have simply left her, when everything she did was for them and for their family, for _him._ The trip to the ER was not long, but he was in great pain. She kept rubbing his thigh and trying to soothe him by telling him how much more time until they reached the hospital. That shit wasn't helpful, but who was he to say so? He just almost died in front of her with no consideration to what that could do to her. Honestly, look at _him._ He hadn't even seen his family member's bodies in person and they were burned into his brain. Aphasia didn't even need _this_ image in her memories, but here they were. Finally at the ER.

She found them seats and rushed to the counter for the necessary paperwork. She noticed the amount of eyes on them, but she doubted that Matt did. He was having some type of argument with his ghosts, blaming them for trying to make him want to die and not thinking of her. "It's okay. They can't hurt you. You'll be getting help very soon," she tried to tell him.

"That is my wife. She is Rutherford, too and I still have her with me!" he fussed as she filled out the papers. She turned them in and sat back down, waiting.

"Can I hold your hand, Matt?" she asked him. His hands were shaking and his argument was ongoing. She was stressed out. She wasn't even sure if he could hear her. She took his hand, anyway. He looked at her, alarmed, when she did and she just raised her eyebrows, wondering what the hell he was seeing now. He lifted their hands to his face and kissed the back of hers, then winced and reached for his jaw in pain. Just the glimpse of that attack of pain infuriated Aphasia all over again.

 **How. Fucking, Dare. Sam?** She knew that she could have not gotten in his face and started going off on him, but she had been mad at him for a minute. She almost had been waiting for him to do any little thing so that she could dig in his ass without having to feel guilty about it, for Stevie's sake… And Stevie was checking on him… And she understood. That was his blood, his family… But… Did he even care about the fact that this muffugga had just overstepped every boundary in decency known to man? So, when it comes to Shane, he took that ass whipping, but the one time that he and Matt square up, he's going to try to annihilate his face? Her man was going to have a scar.

When they walked in, she glared at Sam. She couldn't believe that even for a moment, she was checking for that… **trash.** She lipped it when he looked in her direction. Stevie sat down and immediately asked about Matt. She almost cussed him out. Instead, she answered, but she was pissed at all three of these trifling bitches. Sam should have been wandering on the side of the road figuring out his life choices, but here he was, with support, about to get assistance. Had the nerve to fix his fishlips face ass to apologize? Honestly, _everything_ was making her angrier, until Stevie got up to talk to Matt. She instantly began recording, just in case.

Stevie was the Stevie that she knew and loved again. He smoothed out some of her anger with his care of Matt. After they finally made it to the doctor and Matt had to get his jaw sewn up and his nose was broken, she was livid, all over again. Sam Evans was a psychopath and he needed to stay away from her, Matt, Mattie, and anybody else that she cared about. Why had she been so determined for him to show up for people?

Matt needed to stay in the hospital for a bit. She wanted him rested and not physically hurting when she brought him to the mental facility. It took about two weeks to get him well enough to start his therapy, and they were already long, so the additional at least 30 days that he would be in rehab were going to be HELL.

Mattie was not used to being away from his daddy for so long and was acting out in major ways, screaming spells and tantrums and being mad at his mommy, but not being able to explain why. She went to Andrea's parents' house a lot to try to get him to see some other faces and not have him trapped up like Matt was, alone…

.

 _I keep having dreams of my family's murder. I keep having dreams about my best friend's murder. And I was not there for either of those events, but one thing that did happen in both is that someone was recording. These days, that's common. There's so much footage of cops killing black people or beating them, or people being harassed and discriminated against. Whenever it happened to my family - the thought that someone would record that was pretty heinous. At the time, I wondered who was the person that did that? Was this a person who was stuck with these others? Was this a person who was too afraid, or not hateful enough, or had some humanity. Just the audio of the recording would tell you that's not the case. He was a monster, just like them, but they wanted clear shots and angles of their atrocious acts._

 _I then spent time in close quarters with this person, years later. This was a person that I needed to work with to fail a bigger enemy. For a short lapse of judgement, I even celebrated with this person. I shared times with them. I had this person walk with me at my best friend's parade. I've sat with his wife, held her hands and had tea with her. But, sometimes, for no reason at all, I think about this person killing my family and not only can I not stomach him, but I can't stomach myself, because what does it say about my memory, that I would be near this person?_

 _And, one could say that I was being paranoid or should just get over it, but now here we are. He gave me some physical wounds to go with the mental and emotional ones that he gave me when he killed my family. It is now 16 years later, but his behavior finally caught up with my doubts. He called my wife out of her name and I tried to advance on him, but we were hindered. A few friends and my wife were in the way, but he was able to hit me in the head… with HIS head. I wasn't expecting it and stumbled. Then the fists came. I should have tried to fight back, but it was like my family was beckoning me to them and I thought that if I just laid there and took it, not only would I be reunited with them, but he would be reunited with a prison cell, hopefully for life._

 _My wife would have been devastated, though. I didn't even think about it. That's who I need to be there for. That's who I need to get better for. That's who I need to go home too and I can't take these other Rutherfords or Dre with me. They have to stay wherever they went when they were taken away from me._

April 17th, Matt was checked into the facility and began his 72 hour observation. On the 20th, he was committed for a 30 day period.

For the most part, he spent time meditating, enjoying spa appointments, light exercise, careful not to agitate his healing face, reading, and talking to Phai, whenever he could. She had broken ties with Sam and Stevie and lost Jane. She wasn't handling things well out there and admitted that she didn't have anyone to hang out with. Their friends all lived in other states. She wanted to go back home to New York and focus on De'Wanda's case. De'Wanda just wanted to go back to Chicago, mourn Andrea and not talk to anybody about it again. She also wanted to see Jane, but nobody could find her. _Sigh…_

 _Jane needed to be found for a number of reasons. She had the power to crumble ALOT, and the idea that people wanted her dead, which could make her make bad decisions._ Matt wasn't sure that she wasn't sitting on the information and going to wait until she was safely out of Evans reach to move forward with it. At this point, hell yeah - she could sink Sam, for all he cared… but if she sank everyone, that would hurt. And, if she thought her best friends would harm her, she might be a woman scorned.

Phai wanted to see Stevie, but whenever he and Cheri were in New York, De'Wanda didn't want him to come around. She was still feeling a way about the fact that the one person still living through what she lived through, what she saw happen to Andrea, her love and bestie… The only other person that she had a connection to through that tragedy had vanished? Aphasia did her best to try to make it sound like a better situation than "Stevie threatened her and she went into hiding," but how many ways could you say that? De'Wanda had never been a huge Stevie fan, to be honest. He was _Andrea's_ "friend," Jane's "friend," Phai's "friend..." She didn't trust white people that used to be something else. She didn't believe racism was treatable. She didn't believe hate crimes were forgivable. She didn't believe that hate was unlearnable. She believed that it was manageable, but that it would always come out, eventually in one way or another; and alienating Jane was the only sign that she needed to keep her distance.

Phai sent Stevie a text that said: **Sorry. Can't meet up in NYC. De'Wanda is holding a sista hostage. Maybe soon, though.** Stevie took it as a blow off. Fortunately, he had Jake around.

.

Aphasia spent several hours at POM. She would meet with Mercedes with plans and paperwork about Matt coming onto the show. Of course, Santana or Lauren was there to read for her, that she wasn't agreeing to anything shady - like Phai would! Hell, they needed to be worried about her shady ass family. Seeing Sam's face made her so frustrated that she couldn't do anything but leave when she saw him. She noticed that shortly afterwards, there was a very large anonymous donation to Ruthless. She frowned, but appropriated it to the scholarships.

.

 _My wife has been lonely. She's doing a lot of work, by herself. She doesn't have me to talk to at the end of the day. She doesn't have Andrea, Jane or Stevie to make the work go by faster via assistance or fun. I'm worried about her. She says that she spends a lot of time in the cafe at this gift shop… Now, the gift shop used to belong to the wife of the freed Nazi. I feel like it's unhealthy of her to hang out there, but look at me. I'm seeing dead people, hung around somebody that killed my entire family, trusted his brother… I don't know which thing makes me the most foolish. All that I know is that not working is driving me… Wait._

May 10th

Matt finally got out of the center. He was fine, for the most part. He wasn't seeing anyone, so his medication must have been working - in one way, at least. He couldn't focus as easily while on it. It made him feel tired and sluggish. His brain knew that he was supposed to get out of that place and hit the ground running, but his body could not do it. This medication was obviously going to hold him back, from life, for work, from _achieving..._

He called Stevie and asked him to meet him at the house. Stevie had time, as Cheri was out of town until the next evening (Friday before Mother's Day) and Stevie surely missed him… If his long, tight, tear-filled hug was any indication.

Matt was quiet, and Stevie wasn't sure whether that was because he was trying to think of something to say, didn't want to talk, or had something important to say and wasn't sure how to come at it. So, Stevie took the opportunity to speak, "I missed y'all." Matt's face brightened a little bit when he said it. Surely, he already knew that, but to hear it must have actually meant something. "It was hard without you. I could have used a friend or two."

Matt licked his lips and smacked them a little. His mouth was dry. He glanced around for his water bottle and said, "Well, I was out of reach, but I think Phai's phone was still on the whole time I was away."

"Yeah. We made plans to meet up and she canceled when the time came. I just figured she wanted me to leave her alone."

"She would have said that, if it was the case. But, I'm back now, so…" They sat in silence a moment. "How is your wife's treatment going?" Matt asked.

Stevie was the one who brightened up, now. Then he paled. He took a moment, then said, "She went on a press tour and came back sicker than she had been. Marley is renegotiating her contract so that she won't have to film the upcoming season and we're thinking of her cancelling appearances unless it goes into remission." He clasped his hands together and and shook his head, "It doesn't look good, but I appreciate that you asked."

Matt moved closer to Stevie and now asked, "Stevie, what is it that you think happened between us? You seem… Very off."

"You told me that you didn't want me around."

"My work," Matt completed the sentence. "I told you that we were not in the same place, and we weren't. Ruthless has parted ways with multiple organizations and individuals that don't share the vision of our brand. That's not personal and was never meant to be."

"It felt personal."

"It felt personal when your brother broke my nose and split my jaw open, but I don't remember holding that against you," Matt said, annoyed.

Stevie scoffed and chuckled, "Are ya sure?"

"Positive. Why would you be here, otherwise? Why would you be the first goddamned person I contacted upon coming home?" Stevie shrugged his shoulders, but he didn't feel the least bit vindicated by Matt suggesting that none of this was personal. "I had things to work through and I went into a center to work through them. I wasn't planning on seeing you, anyway. You surprised me when you came in to tell me about Jane, and yes - I did react harshly, but… I mean, hell… Didn't _you?_ This is what trips me out. Every-damn-day, I push some shit down. I've pushed so much down that I corrupted my own mental integrity and the foundation collapsed on me. And you were the first person we called when that happened. So, we just at a point in our relationship now where when we get mad at each other and give each other space, it's so damning that we're not good anymore? Should I have lost your number?"

"No! I just… _thought_ you were done with me. I asked you if you were breaking up with me and you both basically told me yes. I'm not sure how you thought I was supposed to take it!" Stevie snapped.

Matt sighed, "I don't know. I guess I just got used to Dre. Dre one time called me a butterscotch bitch-nigga, went to Chicago for three weeks, didn't answer none of my calls and then came back into work one day, looked at me and asked, "You still on your bullshit?" And I said no, and shit went back to normal immediately. I don't know - me and you never argued or fought. Also, I was still medicated and healing up and getting started on this mind drugs shot that has me all fucked up. Like, I don't know how you do it, but taking meds is making me feel dull as fuck."

"We might not take the same stuff… Also, I have been on medication since I was like 11. You're just now getting on something."

"It's helped how I feel, but not helped how I think I should feel. I'm supposed to be able to do a dozen things today. I don't know if two will get done."

"What do you need me to do?" Stevie asked.

"I didn't call you here to put you to work. I called you here because I missed you and I _know_ Phai did. She was lonely. I would have wanted you two here for each other while I was away. I tried to tell her, but after your wife banned her from the house, she just didn't feel right initiating stuff."

"Cheri lifted that ban."

"Yeah, I know. But… You know how Phai is. She thinks that you pressured her to lift it and that she would have been causing you problems," Matt said. Stevie just shrugged his shoulders with a frown. "I wanted to talk to you about Happy Place, too. You need to get rid of that mess, Man."

"Why do you say that?" Stevie asked.

"It doesn't help you. You just think it does. I see enough videos online of people being beaten and murdered and it is triggering and traumatic. That stuff changes us, no matter who it is."

"Just… Don't worry about me. You've got to focus on your health, now. This may never go away. I'm here to offer support, not to take advice."

Matt chuckled, "You still on your bullshit."

"I mean… I really fucked it up," Stevie admitted.

"We'll get our shit together," Matt promised.

.

Aphasia and Stevie sat in the last place that they had been when they last talked, before falling out with each other, as Matt played with Mattie, looking younger and healthier than he had looked since she even knew him. "How did he seem to you?" She asked.

"Like watered down Ruthless," Stevie said.

"The medication makes him sluggish. He's been trying to gather his material for going onto your sister-in-law's show and it's taking him forever to clear his mind long enough to complete that."

Stevie tilted his head. He didn't even know that Mercedes was having Matt on. He couldn't remember anybody telling him that. At any rate, Aphasia was still talking, "How long before we know if a drug is actually working and should we maybe see about trying to get him on something else, before it's too late and this stuff fucks him up?"

"My experience is to always be completely honest with the doctor about how you're feeling, how it's affecting you and stuff and they figure out if that's normal or not and make changes as they see fit."

"So… His health is completely and utterly in somebody else's hands and he just has to _trust_ that they will know what's correct and do the right thing?"

"I mean… That's the case with anybody in any field of work, though."

"Yeah, but in most fields of work, people have different ideas of how to handle black people than other people. I haven't found a black doctor for him out here yet. In the meantime, we just trust that they do the job, despite all of the reports that medical professionals don't treat black patients properly." She folded her arms and shook her head, "He at least looks happy, right now. I haven't heard him speaking to any dead and he seems content."

"What about you? You content?" He asked, staring at her profile as she watched her guys play.

She looked like she rolled her eyes, but she said, "Yep."

"Did you want me not to be here?"

"Why you say that?" She turned to look at him. He couldn't read what she was thinking. That was odd and felt so strange to him. They had once been on a coexistent wave length.

"Things are just so different between us now. I wasn't sure if you're just talking to me because Matt invited me over or if you really wanted me around. You didn't bother for the whole month and change that he was gone and he's the one that invited me over…" Aphasia's eyes shifted and Stevie could tell that whatever he had just said had turned something inside of her. Either, she was considering that what he said was right, or she was about to let him know just how wrong she thought he was. He accidentally held his breath.

"I will never understand how things work inside of your mind, Stevie Evans. Working with your brother was conflicting enough for me, but this thing where you just go back to normal after some complete and utter bullshit is foreign and inexplicable to me. So, I guess things _are_ different."

"Can you explain what you mean?"

"It took me a dead body to accept Sam. And when I did, it was confusing and disheartening. I had to constantly remind myself that he was the person who took a burden away from me. Then, there's that still little voice in the background that he was also a person who helped give you that burden and every interaction was a conflict of interest and a debate of well-being. But, it was personal, so like… Who cares but me? Fine. Then, I got to know Matt and see him everyday. And every time I saw Sam, he was somebody who worked with Matt to get rid of a burden, but _also_ someone who helped to give Matt a burden. And then, my concept of Sam had to change, because no longer was it just me, but Matt was in this and I kinda brought Matt into shit with Sam. So… years pass, shit happens and we're in that safehouse hiding you from your demons and listening to the music of Cheri's tortured tears. I lost my shit. I gave Sam the business. I went off on his ass. He didn't really do nothing that day, but I remember who he is and I remember what he's done. Sometimes, those things come to mind. He apologized. We didn't really talk much. We chatted here and there. We worked a few minor things. And then Andrea is gone and he didn't show up. Maybe I didn't have any reason to think he would, and maybe I didn't have any justification to be mad - but so fucking what? I'm human. I was mad, and I _did_ get in his face when he came at Matt at your house. And I _did_ pull out my pistol and hit him. And I _did_ want to shoot him." She paused, faked a smile and waved at her son, then when he went back to playing, finished.

"For me, that shit was emotional. That was a long, draining night and unlike Matt, I _did_ take it personally that you would side with Sam. Yeah, that's your family, that's why I wasn't hardcore tripping on you or on Cheri for coming out and trying to pressure you into taking Sam's side. That's family. I know how some people are about family and they're entitled to that. I feel like I am likewise entitled to think that y'all ain't shit for that. So what? I'm the only one that cares, that's my problem. And it's my problem that I got mad that you didn't back me up with Jane. And it's my problem that I tried to let you down gently when De'Wanda didn't want you around in New York. The fact that you think I need to be here, smiling, chilling, like none of the shit that happened with us ever happened is fucking bananas to me, Dude. Of course, I'm acting a way with you. Your brother taped my rape, taped my husband's family's murder, put a WIRE into my husband's face and broke his nose, and all that I asked you to do was follow my goddamned lead on convincing somebody that coulda brought us down with _him_ , and you fucking refused. So, we can come around your people and be civil, but when I ask you one time to let me do and say what works, you don't do it? I never asked you to come into my life, in the first place, You came to us, asking what you could do because you felt guilty about your brother's works and you wanted to contribute to turning things around. But, you only want to do that on your terms, so we left you to your business and went back to minding ours. And then _we're_ still the bad guy for turning on you, like.. Fuck you, Stevie. Turn on that." She shook her head and walked off, "And the next time you think that you're owed a certain degree of behavior or manners, be ready for whatever it is you looking for." She stormed into the house and Matt watched, curiously. Mattie didn't seem to realize, one way or the other, but Matt got up and jogged to Stevie.

"What just happened?"

"I struck a nerve. I should go. Thanks for… having me over."

Matt gave him a hug and pointed to him, "We're gonna fix it, right?"

"I'll try not to fuck it up," Stevie said.

.

Aphasia was on the phone with Sebastian whenever Matt came inside with Mattie, "I think me and Mattie are gonna take a quick shower, so you won't have to point out to me how we smell like outdoors. Anything I can do for you?"

"No. I'm just talking to Sebby and probably going to go to the range in a little bit, if you don't see me here when you get out."

"Got that used to living without me, huh?" he halfway jested. When he saw her hurt face, he offered, "That was a bad joke. I'm not very witty, right now." She forced a smile and shrugged her shoulders. Then, she grabbed her gun, kissed them both on the nose and left the house.

"You know…" Sebastian suggested, "You _could_ also go ice-skating."

"I _could._ But, I want to shoot the head off of a piece of paper and nothing that you say will change that." She tucked her gun away and transferred her call to her bluetooth.

"Who are you mad at?" He wondered.

"Nobody. Everybody. Nothing. Everything. _Something._ Ugh!" She heard the beep of a text and looked at it.

 _Stevie: Hey… If you get a chance, can you make plans to meet me at Happy Place?"_

 _Aphasia: I was heading for the gun range, but I can make it there, instead. Why?_

 _Stevie: I want you to see something._

 _Aphasia: You gon' kill me?_

 _Stevie:..._

 _Aphasia: Obviously joking. I'm a better fighter and a better shot than you. If you could kill me, I deserve to die, tbh._

 _Stevie: Wow._

 _Aphasia: See you in like 30._

"That was Stevie. He wants me to meet him in the middle of nowhere. Maybe it's my time to go, Girl. Hell, I been feeling like the walking dead for the past month, anyway. Thought Matt coming back was just going to wipe it all away. Being near him has always been a remedy, but this shit… They sent me back a shadow of Matt and I don't know what to do."

"Keep loving him and the rest of him will find its way back to the shadow."

"We hope."

.

Whenever she got out of the car at Happy Place, she was almost unsure if she remembered the right location. Stevie's truck was in the back of the building and it was dark and empty. She frowned but went to the front door and pressed the buzzer. Stevie quickly came to the door and let her inside. "What's up?" She asked.

"I take responsibility for my part in things. I wasn't the best friend that I could have been. I won't defend myself or make any excuses for that. You were right. We often request a lot of strife from you and you never really ask for much in return. You shouldn't have to. Friendship should be respectful, reciprocal and rejuvenating. We were all running on empty and nobody filled you up."

"A lot was happening. I shouldn't expect anything of anybody."

"That's not true. You should expect your friends to at least trust you and listen to you."

"You just don't respect me like you respect Matt. This isn't the first time that's happen. I'll survive."

"I'm trying to make this right."

"It's done. Only time and rebuilding is gonna do that, but it's cool. I'm not tripping. I mean, I said fuck you, but I mean - I also came here. We're not going to always agree and we will probably never understand each other. I'll stay out of your way and I'm not trying to turn Matt against you, either. That's not the kind of wife _I_ am." He glared at her for a moment and she turned. "So, see you."

"You said that it took a body for you to accept Sam…" Stevie said. She froze. "And he was somebody who hurt you - like really hurt you. I mean, I know that I did, too once. It was not to that degree and you forgave me for that, so this should be small beans, but since it hurts worse when it's your friends than it does when it's an enemy…"

She quickly turned around and declared, "Stevie, if you are about to try to show me a dead body, then I must insist that you simply take me at my word that I do not need that and let me go on my way. I don't even want you to _hint_ that there is a dead body anywhere, because that is the last thing that I need, another cover up. I don't care WHO it is…" She panicked, "Oh my God… Is it Jane?"

He winced, "What? No! It's the cop that killed AC." She stared at him for a long time while he let the words sink in for her. "I know, you said that if was going to use this place for something like that, you didn't want to know, but… I need you back. I need my fucking Sureshot back." He started crying, "And, I feel like I'm fucking this up even more. Because, you feel like I just pulled you in as an accessory…"

"I don't. I haven't seen anything to indicate that you're not just fucking with me. So, I'ma take it as you're just fucking with me and I am going to go home and pretend this never happened, just like I never had the conversation with you that you were going to wind up doing something like this…" She bit her lip, "Does Matt know about this?"

"Matt knows what you knew, but he hasn't been blind to the fact that some of the people that we've kept watch on have vanished…"

"Some? How many… Nope. No. No, no, no. No, thanks. Big joke. Stevie pulling my leg, getting back at me for not reaching out to him. You got me! I'm going, now. Don't say nothing else. Bye." She rushed towards the door, got outside and realized that she was short of breath. She took some time to catch it, then went back in. "We always joke around about how they're trash and should die. They're monsters, really. I don't have sympathy for them… But, could you imagine what would happen to me if someone thought that I was connected to a what… Nazi killing operation?"

"I just wanted to prove to you that I was who I said I was. Where Sam is concerned, yes - there's a blind spot. I don't know yet how to quit him. I only gained the strength to feel like I could whenever I lost y'all." He shivered crying and she came to give him a hug. "Why can't I do anything right for anyone that I care about?"

"Hey, hey… Kid… Shut up. Of course you can. Without you around, I crawled into a hole and forgot how the sun felt…" She cupped his face, "You're more than anybody gives you credit for. That doesn't mean that people you care about will never be mad at you. That doesn't even mean that people that you love will never leave you. That means that I know that your heart is in the right place and… I don't need a body to accept you, Stevie. I just needed some time. I still need some time, but I care about you."

"I'm not going to side with Sam, ever again. Jake said figure out what people I don't mind showing affection, what people I would take care of if they couldn't and get them back and keep them. You're that."

She kissed him on the cheek and grabbed his hand. "You want to come to the shooting range or do you need to clean up something here?"

"Everything is fine, here." He sighed, "Matt told me that I need to give this place up."

"I agree, especially considering the _joke_ that you told me." He knew that she knew he wasn't joking.

"I can't. Remember when Sam did that? Remember how you felt, before he let you down afterwards? This place gives that to other people. This place makes the world safer."

"I can't imagine that this place doesn't take a toll on you, though!" She said.

"It does. But… so does the rest of the world."

"There's five kids, a woman, me, my husband and child and numerous others that make up the rest of the world. Do we do you this bad? Where _this_ is how you cope?" She asked. "I can't judge you. When I was trying for justice for Jesse and what he did, I would have done just about anything. I'm not telling you that you're wrong or demonizing you. I'm saying… I don't want this to make you how I was when I couldn't quench my desire for justice and revenge, even. I want you to be able to raise a family and love them, without whatever this might do to you!"

"It makes me feel like I'm doing something right."

She sighed and nodded her head. "Let's go, though."

"Gun range?"

"Naw. I haven't seen your munchkins. Where are they?"

"Stacie's."

"Then, can we?"

"Definitely." He threw an arm around her shoulder and she leaned into the hug before they got into her car. She chuckled to herself. "What?"

"I just realized that this is the first time that I actually want to see people, in a while." Stevie just smiled.


	22. The Ratings

**The Ratings**

Mercedes felt like she had at least until the show aired to tell Sam about her involvement with Matt and his work… But, she grew closer and closer to that time and by the time it was time for the show, still hadn't found a good way to approach the subject. A few short months ago, Sam had completely lost his mind over this all. One could argue that he was upset with how she chose to handle his lack of support, and she would simply circle back to the fact that he not only did not support her but was extremely rude about it. At. Any. Rate. She was getting ready to do a live filming for the Juneteenth special that she had fought extremely hard to get approved and Matt was going to be a guest on the show, with Aphasia and Stevie in the audience, for support.

Following up on guests and topics for mental health awareness, Mercedes was able to convince production that with Matt's recent battle with his own mental health and the coming of an important historical event for Black Americans, they could bridge these topics and also get some feedback on the racial climate of our society from an actual activist, in addition to more first person knowledge of mental illness. This was Matt's idea and she loved it. Her show needed a shake up of this magnitude and her audience could use this information.

"Matthew Rutherford, political critic, journalist and black news correspondent, pro-black rights activist, civil rights enthusiast and founder of Ruthless Revolutionaries Inc is in the studio today, to speak about recent events, mental health and provide information on some helpful sources for coping with a lot of the things that we have going on. Matt, why don't you come out?" Mercedes announced.

Matt found his way to the panel and smiled, adding on, "I'd like to clear something up. I did begin my company on my own and out of pocket with my inheritance, but it has since then been reorganized and while we interchange the names a lot, it is officially Ruthless Revolutionaries . The donations and the fundraisers go exclusively into the hands and homes of those in need and all of the products and resources we collect go directly to whoever is in need of it, be it legal counsel, shelter, clothing, what-have-you. I don't make money from the organization. I put money into the organization and make money from events, conferences, books, and things of that sort with institutions and businesses - schools, hospitals, etc."

"That is fascinating!" one of the panel hosts said. "So, you do what we do, but you travel to do it because you can see?"

He smiled and added, "If what you do it travel for weeks at a time to try to make sure that oppressed people aren't having their rights violated and trying to put funds into their fight for freedom." She laughed too.

"I don't suppose we're as self-important as that."

Mercedes chimed in, "He basically does what we do, and about a hundred other things. Speaking of, so currently, Ruthless has been focused on mental health in the past month and is still focused on it?"

Matt explained, "Yes, definitely. We generally try to spotlight mental health awareness in May, as it is mental health awareness month, but we always provide mental health resources available to others. There is a crisis center call line specifically for black mental health and multiple organizations that we keep correspondence with for those of us who need to reach out and get help."

The other host asked, "Why specifically black mental health?"

"Well, it is very much a separate serious problem. Black people historically have less access to resources for this, more access to shame in seeking help and often, even medical professionals forget their science when faced with black patients, expecting their humanity to somehow stretch beyond that of non-black counterparts. This happens with physical doctors frequently, and there is even more chance of error in the psychological world. Black people in a lot of instances do not speak of mental illness because it is embedded into our DNA that this is not our issue. Probably as a coping method for being denied these resources in the past."

"But, all mental health provisions can be scrutinized. Mental health is a fairly new subject and still going through it's trial and error phase after the horrendous things that they used to do to people."

"Sure, that is an argument. But, my complaint is that in this trial and error process of furthering the reach of mental health, black people right now are still being left out of these conversations and their specifically affected issues are being misunderstood or mistreated. Were you aware that suicide rates for black children are right now twice as much as that for white children? Because, there was a Washington Post article about a study just last month, but we have been trying to tell people this for quite some time. It's simply that when I make appearances to speak on these issues, there's always at least one that simply wants to argue with me, instead of listen. But, if you have some real information with sources, we should turn the panel over to you for this topic." Mercedes smiled awkwardly and her cohost laughed uncomfortably, "I'm just trying to understand your viewpoint."

"I'm not here with my viewpoint. I'm here with my knowledge and the best way to understand it is to just let me share it," Matt said. He wasn't rude or angry, but he was sure that it would be portrayed that way. _Uppity Black Matthew Rutherford berates a blind woman for not understanding vision based racism!_ "I have a lot of information to cover, and it is very likely that your questions will be answered through the course of my appearance."

She smiled, "Of course. Of course. We don't get a lot of very passionate race people, here."

"Well, I'm a very passionate advocate for rights. Race is something that society has inflicted on us and then implemented legal and normalized ways of disrupting our human rights. So, if I sound like whatever a race person is, that's because the originators of racism put us in a situation where I can't afford not to speak about it. On to my information…"

Matt talked to the panel and the audience about politics, oppression, the effects of slavery on current mental procedures and practices, and the impact of ongoing oppression on black mental stability.

The same cohost eventually couldn't hold her tongue and reminded him, "Well, everyone has been oppressed in some way or another and the best way to fix it is by everyone coming together to help each other out, no matter what you all see when you look at each other. We only know people from who they show us without skin differences." The audience clapped and now, Matt was getting mad.

"Stop clapping. She's wrong," he said. Some people booed, some laughed. "Okay, so if she's not wrong, why do I have plenty of sources of information on racism in the blind community?" Mercedes fought a laugh. She had wanted to speak on this before, and the studio shot it down completely. Of course, Matt would have information on it. He'd seen a documentary, read books and interviews, and spoken to her specifically about it, previously. The co-host was red in the face.

Another host said, "This is interesting. This is something that I have wondered about, if people considered this equal to racism, or if it was simply some type of misdirected xenophobia because of the negative stereotypes of black people and others out there that we're still exposed to, even though we can't see. What type of advice would you give, Mr. Rutherford to someone who has only bits and pieces of the picture, but not enough to form their opinion properly and maybe even some of that mainstream conditioning that you were talking about?"

Matt smirked and answered, "Look at a black woman." They all paused. He realized that they couldn't literally _look_ at one, but he knew that they _knew_ at least one and they had the glimpses of her life that they were able to get. He expounded, "Odds are that if you even know a black woman, that she's helped people when likely nobody else helped her. The plan that we all come together and help each other only works if we are all willing to help each other. IF everybody values everybody equally and cares about them getting the help that they need. Usually, nobody values us. We have to just have us. General resources aren't extended to us enough times that I am comfortable with my decision to dedicate my personal service, emotional labor, and mental energy to black people first and others, if there is any room all we got, most days and some days, we don't even have that. Ever forget it - just look at a black woman and learn a little lesson. If you only have one example, there's already an examination for your life."

The audience was screaming. Matt saw a black woman in a wheelchair with her Ruthless T-shirt circle her fist at him and he raised a fist to her in return.

Aphasia aligned her social networks and posted to them and the website as she live blogged Matt's appearance, she began #LookAtABlackWoman with every hashtag bundle for the show. "TELL THEM AGAIN, BABE!" Stevie retweeted her posts.

Eventually, the phone lines opened and after a few calls, someone's voice was low, but recognizable, "Hi, everyone. I wanted to have a moment of Matt's time."

Matt and Aphasia locked eyes, then both glanced at Stevie. Matt smiled softly towards the camera and said, "Take however much time you need."

She said, "You've been speaking about your current episode with your personal mental health and all of the things that you've had to do to finally receive the help that you needed, despite the fact that you already had this knowledge, awareness, resources and capability of getting help. So, I suppose that I have a couple of questions, one is do you think that you waited so long because you didn't realize that you were sick, despite your familiarity with many of the facts that were facing you, and another is… Do you think that your proximity to your personal trauma may have something to do with the ignition of the mental episode that caused you to have and take a break?"

Matt nodded, taking in the question, "I feel like what you're asking me is if the work that I do may have triggered my breakdown, and if that's what you're asking, then the answer, is partially. But, I can't stop doing this work, until I literally can't bring myself to do it. If I have a breakdown here and there and bounce back, I want other people to be able to do it too and I don't have enough funds for everybody that needs it to be able to sort their mental health matters the way that I have - commitment, medication, meditation, motivation… I am very privileged to have access to these things, and also to a support system. When I initially began showing signs of PTSD, and sorting through the trauma you mentioned, I didn't have a family and I didn't know that I had friends. I thought of my friends as business associates, while today my business associates are my family. And I was fortunate to be able to go to try to get well, take some time to work on me and then to come home."

She sighed and said, "Actually, I meant your proximity to the Evans family, after what happened to your family, and the fact that you would have had one had not they been taken away from you. How is it not the only thing that you think about when you're near one of them?"

"Well… I guess that the best response to that answer is that I don't spend much time around the guilty party. I try to make sure that I don't do that to myself or to the memory of my family. Whenever we don't have work to do that will benefit the people that I serve (and that hasn't been the case in quite some time), I generally don't spend time around Sam Evans. As for Stevie… We also have a colorful past, but we have actually gotten help _together,_ as Stevie seemed to really want to change and to become a part of something that we were doing. He came to us and he told us that he wanted to die daily from his conditioning and help people out to make amends, for his own personal comfort and to help other people. My proximity to him is after work, therapy, building trust and friendship. He isn't perfect and we still have our moments of clashing, but unlike Sam, we work on it and I trust him. So, I don't think that had anything to do with it, but that was a very good question and I understand your point even more now."

One of the hosts said, "That was very powerful. We hardly ever think about the processing that goes into how people must have to work in order to achieve forgiveness, but it is interesting that you have accomplished that with this person."

Matt was still looking into the camera. "Family forgives. Family loves. Family makes room for mistakes and fights and other problems. But, the first step on fixing such problems is that we have to come together. Come home, Jane. We want to make things right."

The caller sniffled and said, "Thank you for your time," and she hung up. Matt put his hand down on his hands and then got up and walked off of the stage. Aphasia rushed to check on him, but Stevie was frozen to his seat, trying not to cry. The camera was focused on him while the panel tried to figure out what was happening and Mercedes calmly called for a commercial break.

After the break, Matt was back and things were back to calm. Mercedes explained, "We had a caller that our guest has been trying to connect with call and things got very emotional for a moment, but we are back and we're all good, I think," she smiled, "And now - we have Shane Tinsley, of Kid Connection Community Center to share with us some of the summer activities, including the Juneteenth observation that will be held at the center this year…"

.

Matt was trying to rush into his most secretive work after he left the show, but Aphasia kept him from it. "You've spent enough energy today, Matt. That show took a lot of spoons and you should just relax."

"Jane is trying to come home, Phai! She didn't call us because she was scared. She called because she felt like she could. She wants to come home," he fussed.

Aphasia sighed and shook her head, "No, Matt. She called because she wanted to know if you thought that Sam deserved to be free from the trauma that you still have. And you didn't tell her no. You told her that you don't blame Stevie. We have no idea where Jane's head is and you need to not try to look for her, because if you do spook her, she has too much that she can release. Just, give it a day, at least, for you to relax and think things through like your beautiful, analytical mind does whenever a problem is in front of you, okay?"

"Jane's not a problem, She's family. And as we've already pointed out - Stevie kidnapped and tried to kill you, we physically fought and could have seriously injured each other… but we worked through it. All she did was get overzealous. She went through something and she buckled down, like I did when I went through something. She's family. She belongs here."

"I agree. But, you gave her the invitation, now give her the opportunity to decide. Stop trying to find her." Aphasia got Matt to lie down and then she went to find Stevie. He was seated on the floor, outside of the room.

"Sometimes, I forget." She raised an eyebrow and sat next to him on the floor. "Sometimes I forget that family doesn't mean we're the same. We care about the same things, and that's how we came together. But…"

"If you get on a 'we have to find Jane and bring her home' tangent, I swear fo Lawd, I'm putting you out." She clasped her hands, "Jane is wherever she wants to be, and she probably needs to be there. She's hopefully getting help with her trauma and finding closure on all of this shit and why should she have to be dragged back kicking and screaming to work things out with you or anybody else? I love her, but she can stay where she is. We have other things to work through. But, whenever lil' mama decides to come back, yeah - I'll be the first one to hug her and squeeze her fro. You and Matt are passionate and eager and I love how much and how hard you two care. You gotta know when to just grant that space, though. Just like you're making Sam do." Stevie flinched. "How is it going?"

"We have to see him next week, at family vacation in Hawaii. I tried to get out of this fifteen thousand different ways. There is no way that Cheri is letting me squirm out of a Hawaii getaway. I even offered to take her earlier, but all the others won't be there, so she didn't want to do it. She wants everybody there together. She wants Sam and I to be "good" before she…" He frowned and took a deep breath. "She's not making it like a dying wish, just more like hoping that it happens, which still feels like a lot of pressure."

"I'm sure that she doesn't mean for it to be. Her family was hard and cold. She just wants her kids to always have a loving foundation. You should understand that."

"I do. I also understand that if she wasn't here, Sam would try to be there for me and for them. I just… It's like, I know that I expect Jane to get over what happened and us be okay, because you and me have done that and me and Matt… but what if Jane and I are more like me and Sam? What if it's like when she called, what she said… that proximity to me is revisiting her trauma? That's exactly what things are like with Sam, especially after he fought Matt. I feel like if I was willing to go through earning your trust and Matt's I should be willing to let Sam earn mine."

"If that's what you feel like, I'm not in position to tell you something else."

"I want to know what you think."

"I think… That you messed up a couple of time, in very real and terrifying ways, but you and me had a couple of run ins and then nothing really until you came to us to try to work with us. Sam for you and Matt. You and Jane - literally had one argument when you first met, then this thing and besides that, even though she might have not trusted you completely, I think she valued you and was hurt that you said that to her. She's more sensitive than she lets on, and she's supposed to always show strength. Her family has always been that family that doesn't let anyone get away with disrespect or whatever.

You and Sam are something completely different from all of these circumstances. He is your brother. He is your blood. But, he was also the person who placed you on the path that you have come to hate. And he hasn't done a lot to help you to get off of it. You said that he tried to get you out of it, but that was him telling you that it was dangerous, then not letting anyone know that you might need some extra attention!

The years that went by before you and I became friends - I thought about that night, a lot. You and me fought, you tried to kill me. Matt saved me. The police arrived and I was in another position where somebody who hated me was just about to get away with doing me some shit again, but Matt seemed to know what he was doing and he had just saved me, so I followed his lead and you did too. Then, we were at the house and you were with your mom most of the time and I wanted to keep my eye on you, because my throat was still hurting from you strangling me. We had the whole Quinn mess and things became hectic and I lost sight of you. So, whenever I went to leave, Quinn was right behind me, so I wasn't really thinking. I've asked myself a thousand times - why wasn't I more careful? Me, of all people? How did I let that little boy get the jump on me?"

"I hit you in the head."

"Yeah, but you know how I am… well… I got more careful afterwards, for sure. And even though you hit me, I still gave you a fight. Any time somebody puts their hands on me, I think about the time that I wasn't able to defend myself and I try to fight that much harder. When you came to us, Matt said to me - This is up to you. He hurt you more than he hurt me and if you want me to get the bodyguards to through him to the curb like Jazzy, just say when." She laughed, "But, I said - 'Matt, I came to you and asked you to work with Sam, of all people. The one person who wasn't going to get a full sentence for what he did to your family and you went in that. I still don't forgive myself for asking that of you. I'm not going to try to do this to you again. These Evanses are a plague. They're trash. They're demons. Let's never deal with them again,' and he told you that we weren't interested. Then, not too long after, you two got arrested together and I could see his little Virgo veins pulsating in his head with all the possibilities that an alliance like this could bring. I told him to go for it. It was a lot of work, but here we are… Everybody involved has to want the same thing for any relationship to work. Sometimes, we just don't want the same thing at the same time and that's nobody's fault. Sometimes, it's somebody's fault because they did something so bad to you that you just can't ever imagine when the right time would be. I pressured Matt to work with Sam and it worked out for that one time, where everybody wanted the same thing. These desires never crossed paths again, but there we were, still dealing with him and them and the things. To piggyback on what Jake said… not only do you get the people that you know matter and hold on to them and let go of those that don't… But, know when you have someone in your life that some folk are forever and some are seasonal. If they're forever, proximity don't matter. Sebby and I haven't lived in the same city for years, but that's my best boo. If they're seasonal, proximity don't matter. I love your wife and everything, but I'm fine with never seeing her ever. Sam and Matt were seasonal. Sam wanted them to grow into forever, but that was never going to happen and now, they're not even that. Now, they're just…"

"Scorched. Nothing will grow there." She nodded. That sounded accurate enough. "I feel like I've watched Sam scorch a lot and he's come close to it with us, now I'm trying to distance myself from the fire... but probably so that something can grow during our next season. I love Sam. I just… hate him."

"He has a weird way of invoking confused feelings in people."

"So does a conman. Remember when he used to say that preacher thing and Dre said her thing?" They stumbled over exact words for a bit, but then finally got it right.

"He said a preacher is a politician who campaigns for God and Dre said, 'So - A preacher is a conman with a cloth.'" They both laughed and shook their heads. "I went to visit her on her birthday. I took Mattie and told him that this is where she lived now. I told him it was kinda like when we go to the zoo and the animals are asleep in the cage. I said she was asleep under the flowers. He didn't get it. I didn't want to try to make it deeper."

"I'm going to try that one, when the time comes… If I can even say words."

"You do this to yourself - you prepare yourself for the absolute worst and think that you're going to be useless and flailing, when you often keep your wits about you."

"I keep my wits about ME?"

"I meant it in a you know exactly what you're doing and can make decisions. Not like… not that they're good decisions." She laughed. "Where are all of your rings?" Stevie looked at his hands and they were bare, except for his wedding ring on his left hand. Usually, he had several rings on every finger, but he hadn't in a while. "I've been meaning to ask you about them."

"I just haven't been doing it. It's kinda like a litmus test for how ready to live I am for the day." He chuckled. "I don't think that I've really had them since like… my birthday?"

"You had them afterwards. You had them on the night that Matt got hurt," she remembered.

"I don't know. I don't have the energy. Like, right now - I'm about to go home and see how much spoiling my wife I can do between now and bedtime, and then I'll likely get into bed and not sleep for hours, if I sleep at all and when she gets up and she snuggles against me and ask me how I slept, I'll avoid the question by asking her how she slept, then see if I can do anything for her."

"Stevie… Please, take care of yourself, too."

"We'll see. Matt's been on me about my mental health… I promised him that I would get some help as soon as I could, but I can't right now. Cheri is too sick for me not to be around helping. On that note, I want to get back home." He got up, helped up Phai and she walked him to the truck.

.

Mercedes called Sam as soon as they stopped filming and he cheerfully answered the phones, "Hey, Babydoll! Everything okay? How was filming?"

"It was high anxiety, actually. A lot happened and I have a lot to tell you."

"Okay. Well, I was just about to get some milkshakes from POM for me and the kids."

"Well, I sort of wanted to get ahead of this. Please, try not to get mad. I only wanted to address some topics and I've been worried for the past few months about upsetting you, so…"

"Could you please, just spit it out? I'm getting nervous."

"Okay. Okay. Well, I had Matt on the show today…"

"Alright. You did say that you'd wanted him on there."

"I've actually been working with him on getting this done, for a while. I worked with Aphasia, then with him, and we arranged topics and information to share."

"Okay," he said, but she could hear in his voice that he didn't like this. "Why did you feel like you had to hide that and why did you wait until now to tell me?"

"I didn't know how to tell you and today, I don't have much of a choice. Some of the content wound up being controversial and there is a lot of buzz… and your name came up and there are some conversations about that and I just… Are you mad at me?"

He sighed. "We'll talk later. I'm gonna get these kids milkshakes." He hung the phone up.

She sighed too and then heard a voice behind her, "She's been getting super black acting lately. I don't know what that was about."

"I can hear you!" she called out.


	23. The Repudiation

**The Repudiation**

Joe smiled at Sam as he handed the children their milkshakes and wondered, "Anything that I can help with, Brother?" Sam just realized what his face must have looked like and when Heaven silently studied him, he smiled and shook his head at Joe. Joe nodded, but he knew that something had just happened to upset Sam and that was Mercedes' ringtone. Instead of pressing the issue, Joe said, "You should probably get a milkshake for Mercedes, too. I'm sure after a long day of filming, she would appreciate this little gesture of love and kindness." Sam nodded his head. He'd order one for her, to go.

April was back at POM, for right now. She had come back shortly after she got her own place and moved out of the halfway house, and she worked mostly in the cafe, but also as a cashier for the gift shop. Whenever she saw Sam, she always asked him how his "dilf" was. It was slightly embarrassing the first few times, but annoying every time afterwards. "Still happily married," he'd say and simply order.

The first time, she'd hugged him, which was strange and uncomfortable, and when she'd asked about Dwight and found out that he was married, she joked, "That easily coulda been me." Maybe, at some point. Sam wasn't gonna debate or argue about it. He just usually wanted her to take his order and leave him alone. Today, that was magnified.

"I watched one of your mom's comedy routines on the Internet. She's funnier than I remember her being. But, I only saw her at work, at the diner. She was jealous of me, you know? Because I had dated Dwight. I could tell from how she'd act if we just had a little chit chat."

"Things change. She's not jealous of you now, _if_ she ever actually was," Sam said, honestly offended on Mama T's behalf.

Joe quickly added, politely, "Nisha isn't a very jealous person and wasn't interested in Dwight for a pretty long time..."

Sam cut him off and clarified, "No, she's a super jealous person. It's a common misconception that she isn't, because she shared a man with the town of Lima for almost 20 years. I meant, she just wasn't jealous of anybody around Daddy, until after her and Daddy started seeing each other. But, by that time, Daddy was always real careful not to accidentally flirt in front of her."

April offered, "It's not flirting if you've just got natural charm, and Dwight is oozing with that stuff..." She silenced herself when she noticed Sam's displeased face. "Sorry, He's just so darned charming, you know?"

"I know that you do this every time I come here, and usually, my kids are with me. Mama T is the only grandmother they know, and she's my dad's wife. I would really appreciate it if I didn't have to hear this every time I try to give money to this place." She nodded and shrank away from the counter. Joe bit his lip. "I suppose that I shouldn't have said that?"

"No, her behavior was bordering on inappropriate, just by the tone of her voice, alone. She needed to know how you felt. I just don't know that you told her this after all of this time because you wanted to tell her off, or because you're angry about something else."

"Both," Sam said.

"Let's let the kids settle on the back patio and just talk it over, then."

.

They got the children back home and Sam brought Mercedes her vanilla chai tea milkshake to go. Joe was keeping an eye on the kids, in case Sam and Mercy needed a few minutes alone. There was much milkshake to clean off of the twins.

Sam started with, "Is there anything that I can do for you? You look like you've had a rough day."

Mercedes stopped typing on her computer and turned her head towards where Sam's voice came from, to ask, "Am I able to talk about my day to you? I'd really like to, it's just been a while since I could feel comfortable doing that."

He balled his fists, but disguised the anger in his voice, "Sure you can, Babydoll." She heard that undertone, anyway. She knew him like nobody else but God. If he thought that he faked well, he was wrong. She knew which way to go from here, though. She had practiced this as much as she had practiced her lines for certain shows.

"Let me start out by apologizing for my part in everything that has been happening between us. You've always tried to protect me, while I've always wanted to be bold and daring, and have adventures. Then, we were suddenly safe, not just from enemies, but from ourselves. I haven't had a mental health episode in years. You haven't had a murdering stalking you. We were functioning and we were fruitful, and it was fine."

He relaxed a little and noticed that his fists had been balled and his teeth had been clenched, but an apology was unexpected. He thought that he was going to have to fend off accusations.  
"After you and Stevie began fighting more and more, I started to think - maybe we could be doing something more. Every time I wanted to be a part of something, you would invent a safer alternative, and that's great. Many people need those. But, when Andrea died, I expected us to be involved in that whole thing, and I understood why people were angry that we weren't. Functioning and fruitful were fine, but fine no longer seemed like enough to me. I wanted to be a voice and a figure. I wanted to fight for her, and for other people like her, and like me and like so many others. I realize that you may have felt like I was just stirring up trouble and trying to rush into danger. Maybe you thought that I didn't know what I was doing. Maybe you thought that someone was somehow manipulating me. Whatever the reason, if you weren't comfortable with it, I just should have kept coming back to the conversation until we had come to an agreement that worked for both of us and just prayed that I was doing the right thing.

I stopped the conversation when you got into a dangerous fight. Because, you haven't done that in so long. I felt like me stirring these things up was causing you to sin. I didn't want that burden. I felt like I should just take responsibility for me, and let you be at peace, without my mess. I thought that maybe I could spare us of the fighting that seemed to be tearing you down and me of the fear of having to fuss with you about something so important to me..."

"You did what you did when I was on the road and you were going through mental episodes while I was away - what you _promised me_ that you never would do again… You weren't honest about your feelings. You pretended that things were fine when they weren't. Honestly, the fact that you've been working with Matt is nothing in comparison to the fact that you broke a promise and lied to me _again._ "

He folded his arms and she was silent for a time. She pushed her chair away from the desk and turned it fully in his direction, "Can you at least admit that you understand why I would do this, after the way that you acted when I _was_ honest with you about it? You were snappy with me. You yelled at me. You brushed me off. You brushed my pastor off. You said ugly things to me in anger. You said ugly things to my friends. You… started a fight with Matt. Matt, who was always off limits, before for obvious reasons - you attacked him over me and he didn't do anything wrong to me or with me. You alienated Stevie. I'm not pointing these things out to blame you for my decision, but… Please, tell me that you can imagine why I would think that it was best to hold off on telling you?"

Sam didn't answer her question. It made him feel guilty and judged. "What happened on the show that you think that you need to open up, now?"

"For one thing, Matt pretty much said that you and he are not friends, associates, or anything else, and that he doesn't trust you. I can imagine how that statement on _my_ show might be perceived by other people, especially not knowing what happened when you got in the fight. I didn't want it to be jaunting if you got word that I had someone on the show who said some negative things about you. Another thing is that Jane called into the show and Matt asked her to come home. I don't kn0w how things are with that situation or if that might be a problem again, or what."

"Okay. Well, now that it's all out in the open… What are we going to do about us? You feel like you can't bring your feelings to me and I feel like no matter how I react to you; you should be honest with me. Are we at an impasse? Have we ruined us? Have _I_ ruined us?" He was nervously bouncing in place, anxious, maybe angry, he wasn't sure, definitely scared and still somewhat hurt...

"I'm going to be honest with you in the future, and I expect your support. In the meantime, I'll have to earn your trust back, I guess like you had to earn my trust after Jesse." Those two things weren't nearly the same, but Mercedes was willing to try whatever it took to have Sam be nice about things.

"I think that I should take a break from the church," he said.

"What kind of break?"

"I can't be a leader and be the way that I am and feel the way that I feel. Y'all said that Matt checked himself in to some kind of treatment, right? I wanna do that, too. But, I need it for my soul, for my spirit."

"Is that something that exists?" She wondered.

"I'm sure it does, but I talked to Joe about this and he is gonna look over the budget with the board… I want to work on us establishing a soul therapy center."

"That's… A… Church…"

"The church is open for certain times, services and stuff. This is gonna be like a Christian crisis center for extensive, intensive soul therapy. We're gonna have it like it's a hospital, with folks able to check in and out, or just come to support meetings and speak with counsellors or groups and help them to get into a Scripture intake and prayer diet. And someone will always be there. We'll have a night shift and day shifts and even have someone on call for if we have to pick someone up for an emergency."

"This sounds… interesting. But, are you doing this to help yourself or is this something that is going to become a part of our church's culture?"

"Completely integrated. The devil is always busy, but the doors of the church don't stay open. We're in dire need of a system with an open door, open mind and open heart. _I'm_ in dire need of drastic changes. When I lose my wife, my brother, _and_ the fight to preserve the decency of the one person on this Earth that has every reason to hate me, I've been wallowing in my flesh. I don't know how I got here. I need to never return to this place. I want to feel as passionate about my relationship with God as I am about us. I want to be able to say that these things happening are not my fault and actually believe it."

"I will support anything for you, Sam. I always will."

He took her hands into his and rested his head on hers. "I should have just supported you. I should have had faith that no matter how dangerous or how insane it sounded, you would be okay. It was all downhill from there. Matt, Aphasia, Stevie, Cheri, Jane… I have to fix myself in order to ever even think that I can dare ask anything of them. I won't expect forgiveness. I'll just do whatever I can to show that I mean it this time, that I care and I will do what it takes to help them and this world."

"I just want you to be blameless before God. HE can deal with however everybody else feels about you, in His time."

"I want to be blameless before you. I hate that I made you feel like you couldn't come to me. I think about the beautiful person that I've seen Stevie be whenever he's not preoccupied with me. I think about how much happier and whole he seems without me in his world… I can't let that happen with you. I can't ruin you with my selfishness and my stubbornness."

"Will you march with me, at the Juneteenth parade to the community center?" She asked in a small voice.

"I will go anywhere with you."

"Also, I want us to have Christian marital counseling. Is that going to be a part of your new clinic thing?"

"That is a part of my Joe thing. He's available, whenever we need him and trust me, he is not biased. Before we had this conversation, he made me let him pray for us and me and that I just shut up and let God speak through me whenever I thought it was my turn."

"I love him. I'm so glad that he's part of my family, now."

"I love you. I'm so glad that you're my family… Can we pray together?" She smiled brightly and nodded her head. Sam got on his knees in front of her and wrapped her arms around himself, putting his forehead to hers. "After this. I just… Need to hold you for a while…"

.

At first, he definitely felt angry and betrayed, but whenever Joe prayed and talked to him, he pointed out the fact that she _did_ try to tell him, at first and it all blew up in her face. "She explained that it was important and you dismissed those thoughts and feelings and got angry with her when she was upset about it. Instead, try asking her what she wants, needs and expects of you. It's honestly probably more simple than you're giving her credit for."

So, after their talk, a long embrace and a lengthy joint prayer; Sam reconsidered his earlier insistence to keep Mercedes away from volatile politics. The main thing here was that he had to have some faith in God and in her and to trust her to make good decisions or be protected by the Lord when her decisions weren't so great. Once upon a time, you were one of her decisions to do what people said she shouldn't, and to be someone who made a difference, even if it meant that she might face some pain and danger. Yes, she had children to think about now; but as she pointed out, having children didn't suddenly strip her of faith or kindness. He certainly didn't want her to lie or keep secrets.

Stacie had been wanting Mercedes to speak to Sam for quite some time now and was relieved when she told her that she finally had done so. Order was restored to at least one area of life. However, now, Joe seemed to have to take on a huge portion of intercession for Sam. Stacie wanted things good for Sam's house, but she certainly didn't want it to affect her own. Joe had told her to stay out of Sam and Mercedes' problems, but now he was the middle man between the two of them and between them and God, whether he realized that right now or not.

Stacie wanted to circle back to the children conversation. Now that Bree was not going to have one and out of the picture, and Joe seemed at least okay with whatever he and Sam discussed regarding the things that were happening between he and Stevie and all the fallout… It was time to start thinking of little Harts again. "How is dinner?" she asked.

Joe covered his mouth, looking up at her like wondering what kind of question was that to ask him after he'd shovelled a mouthful into his face and had been doing so since he sat down. She laughed, "That good?" He laughed too and finished chewing.

"I mean… It is my favorite."

"I can never quite get the right seasoning dynamics for vegan protein. Like, you say it's good but it doesn't taste right to me. It doesn't taste like Nana Hart's. Not this recipe, but I meant in general."

"I think your cooking is excellent, StaceFace." She got up and moved her chair near his and sat next to him. He set his fork down, wondering what was about to happen.

"I am almost done with the last portion of my degree. I have a job within my field of study and after a short while, will have the work experience necessary to move to jobs that I really want to do. Whenever we last spoke about children, you said that if the conversation with Sam did not blow up into something major that we could have the conversation… So… You haven't told me very much about what you and Sam talked about - just that you're counseling him and trying to help him sort through it all. Is it time for us to speak about kids, or is the Sammy-sitting too tedious right now?"

He took a sip of water and tilted his head, "It's… A lot. But, I don't think that it would interfere with us building a family. If you think that you really want to start trying to have children, I am fully in support of us doing that."

She gave him a tight hug around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. "I was really worried. The way that you said it and how you were acting, I was thinking that you didn't want to have children with me. I was thinking that the Evans curse had finally touched our house and that you were about to be distant from me."

"I thought that Sam had killed Puck, and I was very emotional about what that would mean for me and Sam. And… I know that you really love your brother and often side with him. I just didn't know if he and I would be on separate sides of a moral issue that I couldn't easily overcome."

"And you thought that I would choose Sam over you?"

"I wasn't sure. This has never even been something that we would have ever thought to consider."

"Well, there is nothing to consider. Sam and I were born to the same parents and I love him so much…. But, I chose to marry you. You're the person, who I of my own free will, of sound mind and body committed myself to, no matter what… Is that not how you feel about me? If, by some wretched twist of fate, me and your sister were fighting or something, you'd pick her?"

"No. If that was the case…" He shook his head, and reiterated, "No. Your name is etched on my heart, right beneath God, and there is open space right under that for whatever children that we might have." He kissed her on the lips, then looked at his plate… "But… Can I finish this? Because, it really is my favorite, and…"

"Yeah, yeah…" She got up and went back to her seat to grab her plate. Joe was gonna have seconds and thirds of that vegan shepherd's pie. She kinda hated it. She ate vegan, mostly. It made for easier shopping trips and stuff, but she grew up on meat and the taste of it in certain things that she had eaten was hard to get over, sometimes.

"I'll have that," Joe said about the remainder on her plate (which she was going to put into a container and forget about in the fridge, like she usually did whenever she wasn't crazy about a meal). She laughed and scraped it onto his plate, gave him another kiss on the top of his head and left the dining room.

.

Wednesday night, after prayer meeting and bible study, for the first time in weeks, Stacie and Joe had dinner with Sam and Mercy. Santana and Brittany kept the kids and the four adults took a couple of hours to themselves. They were speaking about the night's bible study and the upcoming trip to Hawaii, then Sam announced, "I am actually hoping to be able to take a break from pastoral duties while I try to get this new clinic started."

Stacie made a face while she smiled. Joe and he had been arguing about him stepping down for days, and Mercedes just wanted everything to feel normal again, so whatever made that happen, she would go that route. "Tell me about this clinic," Stacie said.

Joe explained, "Sam wants a church equivalent of a rest home for the mentally ill."

"Like an institution for the spiritually ill," Sam said.

Stacie shrugged, "That sounds really cool. But why do you have to step down to do it?"

Sam explained, "It's just an excuse. I want to step down for a while, because I don't feel fit to lead. I feel like I need to be working on my soul, so that I can stop fighting with loved ones and alienating friends."

"I explained to Sam that I believe that a pastor can't step down for a bit. He can take a break, but if he is the head of a church, that is his mission and calling."

Stacie pointed to Joe, "That sounds accurate."

Sam shrugged now, "What if I was never meant to pastor? What if I was meant to build a church for Joe to pastor? Come on, now - we all know that Joe is a better man and a better preacher than I am."

Joe said, "That is debatable, but even if it was true, you are the pastor of the church and a flock follows their shepherd. I think that you completely should start this healing center, but I don't think that you should step down unless you're thinking of not returning to the pulpit. You're speaking about how you feel unfit to lead and you want to get better. The fact that this is on your mind shows that you are a good leader."

"You know what we can do, though? Put it all on the table," Mercedes said.

"I second that," Joe said.

Stacie chimed in, "Yes. We put it all on the table, just like an offering, pray over it and trust God to reveal how things will be used for His will." She started out, "On the table, I leave Cheri's illness, and the hope of children, at the right time."

Joe said, "On the table, I leave stability in the pastor's heart, success in my wife's dreams and peace and good fortune for my loved ones."

"Broad strokes, at the end there, but God knows how you are," Stacie teased.

Mercedes said, "On the table, I leave closure for all of the pain recently inflicted in my relationships and guidance for making the world around me a better place in the best way that I can."

Sam said, "On the table, I leave my life in God's hands… May He and He alone direct me to what is best for the church and for those who I encounter." They joined hands and prayed together, with several onlookers and passerbyers observing them in confusion. At the sound of the word, "Amen," in unison, they were ready for the check… And ready to live and fight another day.


	24. The Rings

_First of all, I want to apologize to anybody that got attacked by the troll. I didn't realize that they were miserable enough to start targeting readers when I ignored them. Some people just have to be noticed, and that's sad. I can't relate, to be honest, but I certainly didn't want any trash bothering the good people that have been following my work. For that, sorry and thanks for sticking around. Fortunately, not as many people review as used to, so they had less people to try to bother. I recommend ONLY reviewing at your own risk, as this person appears to be unstable and not very bright. This story will continue, either way. :*_

 **The Rings**

Mercedes teamed up with the current Pieces of Mercy staff to get prepared for the Juneteenth March/Parade and Festival. Stacie helped with making the float, even though she wasn't going to be a part of the celebration. POM and Kid Connection Community Center, of course were tied up together in work and representation for this. They built the POM float for the purple POM van and Lauren drove, with Artie inside.

Shane bussed the kids from the center to POM, since it was on the parade route and Santana, Becky, and Joe chaperoned the kids while everyone was setting up where they would begin. POM and KC3 wore the KC3 t-shirts, and the community center kids had a few things that they had set up for the parade.

The Ruthless party also had arrangements with the community center. The POM float was set up in front of the community center march team, and Ruthless' procession was set up following the community center.

Now, the Ruthless Party was not joking around. First of all - Matt wanted this Juneteenth to be like one in a bigger, blacker space, so he knew that he might have to bring in a great deal to make that happen. He was not in charge of the event, so it was gentrified to a certain degree - as he would expect in Ohio. But any of the non black, non-descendants of slavery working with him were wearing plain black masks. This wasn't their celebration, nor their time to be noticed.

Next - all of his party was wearing either "I Am Ruthless" Tshirts with "for Juneteenth" on the back, or they were wearing Andrea Cohen Memorial shirts from the ForSwah store with her face, name, dates of life and "She knew she was free," on the back.

The FortSwah Collective wore various shades of brown T-shirts (in either style) and oil bottles with a special Juneteenth label on them. De'Wanda was heading them up with the help of a pregnant sister in a black mask. Mama T was with them, on behalf of Jake, stuck in New York, so Bree and Cheri accompanied her, in their Andrea tees with the kids. Jake had his shirt on where he was, too.

Matt, Aphasia, Anthony and Shane were organizing the order of the processional. Matt had many performers from Dre's funeral parade to commit to this event under the Ruthless umbrella and wanted much of their performance to be the same as it was on that day. If Dre would have had to come to this thing, she would have wanted to show her entire black ass.

Bree, Cheri, Aphasia, De'Wanda and Santana did a ladies step routine choreographed by Bree and Cheri, and along the way, they frequently were dancing behind the Melanin Dolls, too, trying to learn their different routines along the way. Mama T let Bree and Cheri show her some of the new dances and she shows them some of the old school dances. This made Cheri "supermiss" Mason and Jane. She just knew that Mason, especially, would have been doing every single dance he could get his hands on and probably throwing a few acrobatics into it. Jane would be jamming as well.

Plus, the scions weren't there for the kids' dance routine that she and Jane had worked pretty hard to try to coordinate. Mason and Major were going to lead the dance with Sheva, but after they left, the formation had to change and Cheri had to try to finish choreography, arrange practices and polish the moves the best she could. Aphasia helped her out with it. Charmaine, Sterling, Bliss and Blessing were towards the back. Sherwood, Heaven and Mattie in the middle. And because the McCarthy kids weren't there, Cowboy moved from the middle with them to the front with Sheva - though she was certain that she still could have performed in the lead without anyone else there. They did a couple of dances, and led a few of the group chants. Cowboy and Sherwood led most of the child led chants. Mattie was too shy and simply hugged his mother tightly while everyone else was chanting.

Stevie had his mask on, even though he wasn't actually _in_ the parade, but walking next to the others, near where some of the guards were, mostly staying near Cheri, Mama T and the kids. Sam and Mercedes were up further, past the Kid Connection, with the POM float, but he could hear them, because Mercedes had her choir with her. She led "We Shall Not Be Moved" and Unique led "I Know Where I've Been." Stevie noticed a few protestors. _Tiki torch bitches._ They were yelling at some of the parade people and kinda close, to be honest. He noticed them yelling at where the KC3 was… There were a lot of kids with them, which Joe and Shane were trying to move further from the protestors. Stevie popped his knuckles, his hands full of rings today and began to move Cheri and his people over. "Come this way, a little," he told her. At first, she was startled. He raised his mask onto the top of his head and gave her a look. "You don't recognize me without my face?"

"I could only see your face from the way you came up on me from behind!"

"Move this way," he repeated and collected Mattie and Charmaine. She reflexively collected Sterling… Cowboy, Sherwood and Sheva were dancing with the Melanin Dolls. "Alt right up on our left, hassling the community center kids." He passed Mattie to Bree and Charmaine to Mama T.

"What are you doing?" Cheri asked, worried as he slid his mask back onto his face and went in that direction. "Stevie!" She turned to Mama T and Mama T just stroked her wig and took her hand so that they could keep walking. Sam, Joe and Finn had made a barrier between the kids and the protestors, which Stevie came and joined.

Matt and Aphasia noticed him as they were passing by and Phai looked around for Mattie, but saw him with Bree and went to go get to him. Matt gestured to some of the masked members of their party to go help with that little wall and they rushed to it. Now, there was a line of Sam, Finn, Joe, Stevie and other masked people blocking the protestors from the people in the parade. That made them more angry. "You're white men! You're just letting them do whatever they want! This is our country!" Etc. But, Finn and the others were moving them back, like they were playing football.

The pregnant sister in the mask and De'Wanda were staring at the scene as they continued walking with the parade and one of the protestors recognized De'Wanda and swung his sign towards her. Stevie punched him in the face with his fist full of rings. De'Wanda grabbed her pregnant friend and distanced her from that fight and it did become that. Stevie took a bunch of swings, but some of the others in masks began fighting too. Matt sighed and began to record, "This is what happens when the police want to be a part of the celebration, but don't care enough to keep their little friends from trying to ruin the celebration. Nazis show up and start fighting our white allies to try to get to us and our children."

Stevie got knocked down and hit with several signs by the group. Sam was now fighting hard to get him clear of them and another masked dude with a ponytail reached into the punches and pulled Stevie out by the arms. The police showed up and the fighters dispersed. Stevie and his rescuer too rushed off, while Sam, Finn, and Joe tried to explain what happened. The police got the protestors to relocate (but didn't send them home) and didn't look for everybody who had run away.

Stevie and Ponytail circled back to the parade and blended in, eventually finding their way back to where they were. Cheri looked at Stevie's bloodied hand and shook her head. Mama T handed him a bottle of water to rinse it off. "He swung and Wonder and a pregnant lady!" He tried to explain. Cheri wasn't moved. "I've got on a mask. Most of us did." She wasn't going to say anything, obviously. He sighed and moved outside of the parade line. Where had Ponytail gone? He didn't get a chance to thank him. He thought that he saw him, up there by the FortSwah Collective. He tried to catch up, but got distracted when he saw the Haywards… Not Jane, but her parents, her brother, _and_ the kids… He was still in his mask and wasn't sure what they believed about him… He was _grateful_ for his mask. He was also curious… Was Jane also here, somewhere, or had she simply let her children enjoy an event that they loved with their grandparents. He kept moving, without letting himself be noticed by them.

.

The festival was pretty great. The protestors could not come near it and the vendors and activities were excellent. There were arts and crafts, music selections, a dance floor, food, and later there would be fireworks. Children from the community center were allowed to put on a play on the stage in the auditorium. There were some really great speeches about slavery and freedom. One of them was about people who, even after Juneteenth did not realize that slavery had ended - whole families that were still enslaved well into the 60s. Another was about the book The New Jim Crow and the document 13.

Sam sat in the back, unable to move. Shane and Matt were working to make sure that the traffic through the center as organizations tried to park float vehicles and reload parked buses was not interfering with the festivities. Mercedes was with the POM staff and helping at various booths outside of the center. Mama T had all of the kids and here he was… sitting here. His brother had been beaten up and he couldn't even find him to check on him, because they still weren't speaking.

Two men that he had violently attacked at two different times in his life were both arranging a lot of what was going on around him and he knew that he should keep his distance from them, as well. Masked people were all over the place, working and helping out - Anonymous or Antifa looking types… He did not have a connection to all of this. He didn't have a connection to the community, nor the celebration. But, it had brought Mercedes a lot of joy to be a part of it and while it did get a little bit scary at one point, that threat was dealt with and she was fine, the children were fine and mostly everybody was fine.

They had gotten active in something, done well and everyone lived and was having a great time. He couldn't believe that he had allowed a panic to take over him months before. He was embarrassed about it every time he thought about it, and disappointed. Cheri eventually found him inside and sat next to him. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Trying to stay out of everybody's way that I have pissed off or hurt. What are you doing?"

"Literally dying," she said and then made a drum roll sound.

"We're still praying about that. How do you feel today?"

"Felt pretty good up until the point that my husband rushed into a fight and split at least three people's faces open." She fumed, "Why does he do this? Why does he have to fight this way? Is that what the kids will grow up with after I'm gone? Him constantly running into fights?"

"How is he? He took quite a beating. Like.. I know that at least four people stabbed him in the gut with their sign sticks…"

"He's pretending to be fine, but his walk is telling on him. I told him to go to a doctor, and he said that he's not leaving us. _What if they come back?"_ she imitated him. She slid her wig off of her head and started crying hard. Sam put an arm around her and let her lean on him. "My love is never going to be enough for him, because he wants yours, theirs, whoevers. Honestly, sometimes, I can't wait to die so I don't have to feel like I didn't screw up his world by making him commit to me when I was damaged, then making him have all these kids, and making him feel like he had to marry me, even though he never wanted to get married… Then, I made him leave. Then I got him to come back. Then… I'm sorry. He's mad at you, because he doesn't feel right being mad at me, because I'm sick."

"No. He's got some deeply rooted anger that is definitely reserved for me," Sam said.

"How do I die on him, and leave him in this condition? Without family that he trusts, and riddled with guilt? And the friends that he has, that he needs - half of them don't want him and the others... " She wailed into the sky and jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Stevie. She stared at him and he pulled her into a hug, "How do I do it? I can't stop it, but how do I do it?"

"Shhh. Shhh. Don't… Even think about that," he said and rocked her. "You _never_ screwed anything up for me."

"When I made you leave…" He winced at her mentioning that. "Just.. Tell me! Tell me what you really feel."

"I was angry. I _was_ upset with you. You insisted I go out that night and when I ran into trouble, you made me leave. And I was angry, and you're right - I haven't expressed any anger at you since I found out that you're sick, but that's because I stopped being angry. I had you back, and I have you here… and… That should be enough." He squeezed her. "Baby, I am so sorry. That should be enough."

"No. No… It shouldn't." She got up, "You need your friends and you deserve them."

"This isn't about that," Stevie said, but she went outside and left he and Sam, who was looking up at the now empty stage. The two of them were quiet, then Stevie said, "I'm still not there, but thank you for trying to comfort her."

"She's family," Sam said. Stevie was going to leave, but Sam also said (since he had his attention, now, "Maybe it's time I did come clean and come out with it."

"That would be stupid, pointless and only hurt everyone," Stevie said, not turning back around.

"No, I meant it the way that Jane did - maybe I should take the wrap, and have it all on me."

"How? You'd have to _at least_ take Tina down, as she was your alibi."

"I could say that I threatened her and she believed me because I had just killed somebody, but I don't think they'd be in a rush to go after her, anyway. I could just have it all off of my chest, you could have it all off of your shoulders. I did what I did. All of y'all could move on, including your running scared friend."

"It's too late to move on," Stevie said. "That woman that got Emmitt Till killed… She was old as fuck before she admitted that she lied on a child, basically just to get to have him die. I think that everybody's good with letting go the death of a piece of shit like Jesse."

"Jane wasn't."

"Well, she's gone now and I already told her what would happen if she tried anything slick."

"But, you obviously hated doing that…"

"But I did it," Stevie said, now turning his head towards Sam, but stuck to the spot.

Sam got up and came over, "I wouldn't want you to do that. I never want you to have to feel like you have to hurt anybody ever again. Cheri doesn't want you fighting. I don't want you killing. Not over me, and definitely not your friends."

"I'm not hurting Jane. Matt wants her home and like you said, we were friends once. Most importantly, she

Sam reached into his messenger bag and pulled out his journal, "This is for you."

"Your journal?" Stevie said.

"It's more than that." Sam opened the book to a particular page. "This is my blood…"

"Are you about to try to give me a sermon?"

"No… This is blood from when I was shot. But, there's something written here that I want you to read, in your own time, Stevie, this book is a full written confession of every terrible thing that I have ever done, even the most illegal. If, for any reason the burden of everything is too much, I am resigned to whatever you want to do to me, and this is all the proof that you would ever need. You, or your friend…" Stevie took the journal, confused as Sam finally left the room.

.

Arriving at Dwight's Ohio home was always something. It felt like he'd built another part of it every time! Sam carried the twins inside, because there were several people there and there was a ton of food everywhere. Meat that he and Mama T had probably procured themselves for their anniversary was smoking on the pit. He had crawfish boil tables with shrimp, potatoes, corn on the cob and sausage. Sam found Dwight near the meat and gave him a hug. "Y'all had fun?"

"Mostly. Stevie got hurt. Did he make it here, yet?"

Dwight handed his fork over to his buddy. "What do you mean, Stevie got hurt?"

"There were some protestors there. We were creating a barrier between them and the parade and one of them almost got through, so Stevie hit him and all hell broke loose for about twenty minutes. In the first five, Stevie wound up getting beat pretty badly."

Dwight pulled out his phone and called Stevie.

"Hey, Daddy. We're on our way."

"To the doctor?"

"Oh my God. I told Mama T, I'll be fine. I've been beaten more times than anybody that I know… But, do you have some pain pills? I might need to lay down for a bit."

"Yeah. But, if you start feeling bad, get to the doctor."

"Ok." Dwight knew that Stevie's OK was for his benefit, Stevie rarely went to the doctor or a hospital.

Stacie was at a table eating crawfish by the pound, before Joe got there (because he was helping out at the center). Sam found her and set the kids down to go play in the backyard. "Planning on saving some for the rest of us?" She laughed and sucked out a head. Sam reached onto her plate to take one and her face said it all. "I'ma go make me a plate, I guess."

"You guess right," she said and bit into a well seasoned potato.

Mercedes had learned how to eat those things through these people, but the work that went into it for the portion of meat wasn't enough for her. She ate at the festival, anyway. There were a few vendors that didn't come into town except for events like that. She had Dwight's barbeque pretty much any event that they went over for.

Mama T arrived with Stevie's kids and several bags that Dwight came to help her out with. April came up to the truck, as well and offered _her_ help. Tanisha smiled and handed her a bag. The woman went to the house with it and Dwight said, "She showed up with Shelby…" Cowboy tried to help too, but Dwight told him to go find some kids to play with and have fun. "So… Stevie?"

"He got stomped. His face is fine, but I know that they had to mess up his body. He said that he rolled over to try to shield his face, but when he was on his stomach, it was harder to defend his body. I could only see the swinging, I couldn't see him, but they appeared to really be swinging at him."

They went inside and April was chatting with Stevie, laughing and touching his arm. "Oh, Dwight - I wasn't sure where to put the bag, so your son took it off of my hands. I never met this one before! He's the one that was… away when we were together, I presume."

"Together?" Stevie repeated, "Who are you?"

Mama T took his arm and said, "Let's get you some pain meds and take a look at you."

They heard him ask, "But, who is that woman, though? I've never heard of her. Daddy dated before you?"

Mama T took one look at his body and shook her head, "Absolutely not - you need to go to a doctor!" She wasn't thinking about his question, because he had such damage coverage. "You're not gonna have one bit of clear skin beneath your shirt. There's some bleeding and cuts. You might have internal damage, looking at some of these. Mama would feel a lot better if you went to the care center, at least?"

"Naw. I'm gonna lay down and sleep and get up and walk it off," he took the bottle of pills from her. "Who is that woman out there? She looked like she made you uncomfortable,"

"She's the first woman that Dwight dated after your mom. Really enjoyed her, too. She dumped him… you know… Right around the time that you got home. Because I remember that she was at the safehouse, and they broke things off, and then you got to the safe house and went with Cheri and Jake while they were at the roundtable. I forget the details, but she didn't want to go through the shit that might be coming up, And, unlike me, had a choice."

"Nobody ever mentioned her to me," Stevie said. "Did he love her?"

"He says that he didn't. But, come on. First woman you date after your wife died? And they were you know - having adventures and shit. Double date stuff with Shelby and Emma. Then, I worked with her at the diner, afterwards. Before me and Dwight, when we were friends. Heard plenty of stories. My personal favorite is the one where he fucked her in the back of his truck." Stevie looked shocked and impressed. "It's one of the reasons that I bought him a new truck!"

"And all of the "dream truck" shit you added, I guess was so that he forgot that the old truck ever existed? I didn't know that you had an insecure bone in your body, Mama T."

"Let me help you to your room." It was more like a suite. Dwight had sections of the house specifically for each of his kids (with room for their kids) and anytime that he hosted something in Ohio, he liked for them to have the option of crashing there. Any home that he would ever have would have room for his kids and grandkids. The one in Tennessee was the same way. Jake and Stacie didn't even have kids and there was still room for them and their kids. Stevie laid down and went to sleep, almost immediately. Tanisha was worried, He didn't look well and he was stubborn.

.

April was _still_ around when she got back to the party. She found Shelby and Shannon and gave them hugs and pointed behind her, "So… You brought April Rhodes with you to my husband's birthday party?"

Shelby covered her face, "I accidentally told her about it and when she was in her 'Oh! I haven't seen him in awhile, I should get him a gift!' I didn't want to tell her that me and you were close and you didn't like her! She would have felt like two people ditched her for you."

"She ditched y'all! She straight up told you two that she had too much to lose and both of you only ended up close to me because of that." Tanisha folded her arms.

Shannon awkwardly nudged her head in another direction, "I think one of those stuffed whole chickens is calling my name."

Shelby looked at the ground, "When Emma died, she and I weren't… I mean, we were sort of, but not really. I still mourned her like a lover. Shannon had been mourning her a different way, then had to mourn her some other way after her death. We went to grief counseling together, for support. We tried to date people and do all of this other stuff to get our minds off of what happened and eventually wondered if Emma would mind if we found comfort in each other. We both felt guilty to even suggest it, but now, things work and we work and it's been beautiful. Because, no matter what happened before us, what is happening between us now is real. I've been friends with Dwight for years. What he had with April was him doing other stuff to get his mind off of things that happened. What he has with you is real." Tanisha nodded, but still looked bothered. Shelby went on to say, "He felt bad, at first. Here he was, supposed to be getting over April, and he was thinking about you instead. He convinced himself that he was rebounding, so it took him months before he finally got the courage to believe that this wasn't some passing attraction. He wasn't thinking about April dumping him any time that you were around. I started standing you guys up on our three way dates so that you could spend alone time together and start noticing the way that he looked at you while you were telling a joke or casually lotioning her legs. And sure, it could have been about lust in the beginning. These things _usually_ are. But, I'm convinced that he eventually would have dropped her anyway after he got to know you."

"And here I am, convinced that he never even would have gotten to know me if she had stuck around."

"He would have. I did. And if you liked women, I would have made a move for you, myself. But should have, would have, could haves don't matter now, because you've got him and all she has are recycled memories that don't even affect him. All the stuff she says, trying to get him to reminisce or whatever just makes him uncomfortable and he doesn't know how to just tell her to shut up. But, he's been henpicked over you. He called me after your first time and wondered if like a whole list of things was a bad or good sign. It was actually adorable. Don't let her shake you. She doesn't even have real teeth." Tanisha looked confused. _What did that have to do with anything?_ "Dwight loves your smile. He has an album called Nisha's Smile in his photos?"

"Oh!" Tanisha laughed to herself. Why was she letting this woman make her lose it? Other than Dwight not telling her to back away and calm down...

.

Tanisha sucked it up and went back to Dwight.. Where April STILL was. She came over smiling and determined not to act up. Shelby was right, _Shelby is right._ "I'm gonna have to steal my husband for a tick, Ape. Wanna show him all these cool Juneteenth gifts that our grandkids made us at the festival."

Dwight's face lit up and he also looked a bit relieved. "Gran-gifts are my absolute favorite. So, happy birthday to me." April _still_ found a way to try to make this about her.

"Oh, had Dwight showed you the gift that I got for you?" Dwight blushed and shook his head. "Look at him, acting bashful when _both_ of us know the truth. Nisha-Nish… I throw fun parties, now. Little side gig that I got when I'm not at POM. And I took the idea that we do at the shop - with the baskets that little darling Stacie used to do (they still do them in the shop; not as well as she did, if you ask me), but I put together some things that I think might be nice for you, to you know, enjoy each other. Because, you gotta do some pretty interesting stuff to keep this wild one's attention for too long, am I right?" she laughed. Dwight saw Nisha's nostrils flare and he set his beer aside, in case he had to keep her from killing the woman. He loved her being territorial but wasn't trying to see his beloved go to prison.

But, when she said, "You'd know more than me. I never lost his attention," he felt a little bit calmer. She hadn't exploded and she didn't seem to be mad at _him_ about April.

But _then_ April said, "I feel like this is the first time he's noticed you all night…"

Dwight himself interjected, "Now you wait a damn minute, April…" April and Tanisha's eyes both widened, but Nisha put one hand on Dwight's shoulder, the other hand on her hip, and leaned in towards April with her head tilted and her lips pursed. "First of all, I have been trying to politely get away from you all night. Secondly, please stop acting like whatever happened between us was something to be romanticized or nostalgic about. We hung out. We fucked. You left. I got over it, _very_ quickly. Third, I _always_ notice my wife and just because I am allocating some manners to you - don't get confused, she's at the forefront of my thoughts and feelings _always_ , and she didn't need your help or advice on how to get there or stay there. Last, don't you ever talk to my wife with any kind of attitude or, or, or.."

"Shade."  
"Shady shit, or whatever the hell this passive aggressive thing you've been doing, and you certainly aren't gonna flat out disrespect her in her own house…"

"I decorated this place, had wings built in my name. Did you ever even see the bedroom, or just the bed of his truck?" She tilted her head further.

Dwight sighed and said, "I got this, Honey."

"You're doing great, Sweetie." Tanisha patted him on the back.

April looked flabbergasted. Shannon handed Shelby a drink, which she gulped down in one swallow and handed the glass back to her.

Dwight added, "Talking to my children like you don't know what this is was bad enough and I let it pass because you've always been tacky. I will never let anything pass when it comes to Nish. I've already been that idiot before, and I wouldn't dare risk losing her again for anybody, and not for you. You can go, now." He picked up his beer and Tanisha low fived him.

"Should I show you where the exit is?" Tanisha asked, in a cordial voice.

"I got it," April said, red in the face and storming off.

"Awww. Her hurt," Tanisha said with a chuckle, then turned to Dwight and joked, "Took you long enough, but you did good."

He sighed shook his head and told her, "I'm sorry. I was honestly hoping that she'd just stop or just leave. I certainly didn't think she'd be bold enough to try to handle you that way." He kissed her on the forehead. "Must be out of her goddamn mind. If she was a man, I'da socked her in the mouth talking to you like that. She's lucky Stevie wasn't in here. She thinks I said something mean to her; that boy don't play about his mama."

"He wouldn't have been much help. He looks so bad, Baby. You should see if you can convince him to get checked."

.

So, Dwight did check on Stevie. He was asleep and looked like the little boy that Dwight had watched grow up way too fast, take on way too much and still manage to turn out good - at least made him proud, if not that. He lifted Stevie's shirt and Stevie jumped up, ready to swing at him but winced in pain when he moved. "Stevie. Daddy's taking you to the E.R." It wasn't an offer. Stevie shook his head anyway, groggy.

"I don't know where they are. They might be there. Too many. They didn't leave Ohio. They just got quieter. They could get me, there."

"Well, judging by these bruises, they already gotcha, Son. Now, I won't let you out of my sight, so nobody can hurt you and I hope you trust me to look out for ya, but I'm not gonna let you lay here and hurt this way…" Stevie struggled from Dwight, but the man just picked him up like a big log and carried him out of the room.

Sam rushed over, "What happened?"

"He's in too much pain. I'm taking him to the emergency room."

"I'll call Dr. Hitchens and get her to meet you there. Just… Tell them she's his physician. She'll do this for me." Mama T grabbed the keys and held the door open, telling Stacie, "Let Cheri know. We don't want to alarm the kids, but if she wants to meet us there, we're going, okay?" Stacie nodded and strummed Stevie's hair.

Cheri had gone home to get some rest and was going to try to stop in later. Mama T had the kids and Stevie insisted he was gonna be fine, so she was fine with resting her feet and her mind for a bit, until she got that call. She threw on a pair of sunflower sandals and rushed out without makeup or a wig or anything.

.

Tanisha pulled out her phone for Stevie's medical history while Dwight let him lay his head on his lap and sprawl out in the empty seats. She was speaking to herself, under her breath, "Where are his medication changes and why are they not in the folder titled medication?" She sighed and remembered, "Oh! They're in my docs, not the lists. Need to delete the lists. Here we are." She reached over and rubbed Stevie's head as she wrote down the information, then she turned it in. "I'll make sure that they read the history before they give him anything. Sometimes, they try to just give them something and not pay attention to the meds that they're on." Dwight nodded, sadly. "He's gonna be fine. We got him here. That was the hardest part."

"You're his emergency contact. You've got his medication list. You know his medical history… This is my son… I should be more aware of these things."

"This… is _my_ son, too. And, you were never the person that did that at your house. So, I understand. Stevie understands. It's okay."

"Is it? I didn't even know that was a condition, whatever you said. I thought that he just had a bad temper for 12 years."

"You… also didn't _believe_ in mental illness for most of your adult life, so I can see why you'd be confused about some of this."

"You found out and you went and researched everything to understand him better. Why would I have never taken the time to do that? I researched how to start your own home studio. I couldn't research IED? I couldn't learn side effects of the medications? I… don't know when his medication changes!" He put his hand on his forehead.

Stevie groaned, "Shut up, Daddy. You don't gotta do that. You married well."

"It shouldn't be something that I felt like I had to do. I should have just did it. I guess I thought you had everything under control."

"He does have everything under control. You're beating yourself up and we get it, but I've seen enough of my guys beat up today, thank you very much."

"Too soon," Stevie said, trying not to laugh, because it hurt. He squeezed Dwight's hand and told him, "Thank you, Daddy. I know you love me." He kissed his hand and shut his eyes. Dwight felt like he might cry. Cheri rushed into the room and came over to them. Stevie groaned again. "Who called her?"

"I'm your fucking wife, what you mean, _who called her?"_

"You don't need to be worried about this, you're supposed to be resting!" he said, sitting up now, wincing the whole way up. She squatted in front of him and cupped his face. "I don't want you having to deal with my shit while you're sick, That's the whole reason that you made me leave home and I never want to have to do that again." He sniffled and she kissed him, then stood and took him into a hug, with his face against her belly. "I just want us to be able to be together forever and you to be safe and happy. I love you so much. If I could take your sickness into me so you could be healthy and raise our babies, baby, I would do that." He was crying onto her dress.

"If that was possible, I wouldn't even let you do it," she said.

"You couldn't stop me. If it was possible, I'd force it. I don't care. You'd just have to be mad while I die." He hugged her tightly and squeezed her butt.

"Right now?" she asked.

"It was irresistible."

.

Stevie watched Cheri handle all of her motherly things with grace, fighting the urges to get up and help her. He had some bruised bones, a few stitches, and multiple contusions. He couldn't help her with anything and he hated that, but she handled things flawlessly once they realized that he was going to be okay and he got treatment from a trusted doctor.

When they had put the children to bed, he held her. "I never meant to make you feel like you weren't enough. I thought you wanted me to… Not be so demanding of your heart…" Stevie finally addressed the conversation that he overheard between her and Sam.

"Lemme show you something." She went into the huge chest of notepads and asked, "See those red flags?"

"You mean the little tabs you stuck in your notebooks? Yeah."

"The yellow flags are about my parents, the green ones are the kids and the red ones are all you."

He reached in and picked up one and there were so many red flags they appeared to be on every page. He opened it and read, " _Cornflake's eyes make me feel too many things. Every emotion in the world is present at once, or no emotion is present. And either way, they ensnare me. I want to climb on his lap and lick his lips every time he looks at me…"_ "That escalated quickly."

He opened another page, " _Cornflake kissed me casually. I'm gonna touch his dick, you know… see what happens…"_ They both laughed. "Finally, proof that you seduced me! Anything where you just actually liked me, or is this all penis plans?"

"You picked up an old one." She exchanged it for another and he opened it.

" _Stevie told me that he loves me. He didn't mean it. He was cumming inside of me and my lips were on his neck and well, dudes. But, it felt soooo good to hear. Especially with him in me and my legs wrapped around him. I wanted to say that I loved him too. But, I was gonna mean it and I know he didn't. I would've looked stupid and I might lose what he lets me have from him. So, I just said, "Liar," and laughed…"_ "Oh, shit! I was so upset after that. I was pissed for days because I opened myself up and you didn't believe me. But, it was my fault because why would you believe me?" He flipped through and she came closer and settled between his legs to scan through to find certain pages for him. "Read it to me," Stevie said and she looked at him to see if he was joking. She saw those emotionally charged eyes and melted against him, careful not to hurt him. " _People underestimate Cornflake. I can tell that even though his family loves him, they still don't get him or know him. They think that he's weak or unstable. He's definitely one to overreact, but he's the strongest person in the world. He'll take emotional, mental and physical beatings so that I won't have to have one scratch on me. I know that my mother made him break up with me. He loved me too much to just let me go, but he thinks that taking this emotional beating will spare me somehow… I hope his dick falls off…"_

"WOW!" He looked at her face as best as he could from behind her.

"I write as I have the thought!" She laughed. "Fortunately, it _didn't_ fall off…" He wrapped his arms around her tighter, and kissed her neck.

"You're enough, Cheri."

She chuckled, "Liar."

.

Sam had so much nervous energy every since he handed his journal to Stevie. It was the ultimate trust test. It could ruin him, to his core and Stevie said before that he hated him. He blamed him. He felt so many bad things towards him. But, did Stevie want him to pay for these things enough to crumble him? Now, after having virtually disowned him and insisting that he kept his distance. Would Stevie prove to love him after all? He wasn't even sure if doing nothing necessarily meant love. Maybe Stevie would see this as yet another burden that Sam had placed on his shoulders, instead of the freedom to put him away and still protect everyone else he loved. Maybe to Stevie, Sam should have turned the journal in to the authorities. Sam just… didn't understand Stevie.

He thought that he did, but he was always surprising him and confounding him.

He'd seen every Evans child playing with Stevie's rings. They liked them because his whole hand was shiny. Stevie wore those things all the time, from about the time he was maybe 20, 21 or so until now. He had stopped for a bit, but then started up again. And Sam had watched those same rings, or maybe he had different combos, he wasn't sure… literally rip through flesh at that parade fight. He had seen Stevie's hands hold every baby that he knew. Play with the kids and with dogs and caress his wife. Those same hands, he had seen smash against people.

Now, Sam was definitely a fighter in his day. He fought with the same primal rage, once. Stevie could flick it on and off, like it was simply a reaction and afterwards, it didn't exist. Sam would be troubled for days, sometimes longer about these things.

Yet, Stevie _was_ troubled about hurting certain people. Innocents. He didn't like to do it. He used to do it, but those were what haunted him. These people, even the ones that Sam told him were reformed - like the two of them… He didn't trust in their humanity. He didn't _see_ them as people. It made it easy for him to pummel them and then move on with life like nothing happened. It made Sam scared for him. What might he do next? He didn't want Stevie to ever be like he was when he was desensitized by the pain of people that he had dehumanized. But, he was afraid that they had already come to that point.

.

While packing up things for the Hawaii trip, Sam received a phone call. "Pastor Sammy… This is Rick Denham. I understand that you were at that parade where the boys got attacked by one of those masked thugs…"

"Hello, Rick. I was at the Juneteenth parade when a group of angry protestors started a fight with some of the people associated with the parade. Is there something that I can help you with?"

"I didn't go, but my little brother did. Got attacked by one of those rabid masked animals and now he has to get his face reconstructed. He was unconscious. He can't even speak right now. You seemed to be close to where the fire was. I need to know who is responsible for this."

Sam blew out a gust of air, "I'm so sorry that this happened to your family, Rick. You've been doing really well in turning your life around and I know how hard that can be, especially if you have a loved one still in the life. But, I gotta tell you - the people who wore masks were doing so in order to not stand out at the event, as it wasn't meant for everybody and they were wearing masks out of respect, and not really talking much to be honest. I don't know who any of the people were who were masked, for that reason. I'll definitely pray for your brother's healing, inside and out. I have to tell you, from where I was standing, the protestors started that fight."

"My brother didn't. He went to a legal protest, as is his right as an American and one of those treacherous scum bags ripped his face open like he had on a set of jagged brass knuckles, or something…" Sam took a swallow. He had a feeling it was likely Stevie. Most of the others weren't fighting.

"I'm sorry I can't be of more help." Sam hung up the phone and decided to wait to tell Stacie about this, so that she could pass the info on to Stevie, just to be careful. He was still respecting his wishes to keep his distance. "Jesus, Stevie…"

.

Rick Dunham hung up the phone with Sam and shook his head, "I thought he was on the up and up. At least be an honest man, if you're a man of God. Says God cured him of his hateful past, but I guess he stopped short of giving him a heart for justice."

Kendra Giardi pointed to the phone footage and and nodded her head, "He's right next to him right there. There's no way that he doesn't know that was his brother. I'd know that race traitor anywhere, but look at his hands. Rings on every finger. Stevie Evans does that, like some gross old gangster rapper. You can get him for the cops on that alone."

"No cops. We'll handle him our way. He's hurt people like us for the last time." Dunham cupped her chin, "And Pastor Sammy'll finally get what's been coming to him, too."


	25. The Reunion

_There was a lot happening in the Hawaii setting, so I am not sure how many chapters we're gonna spend in Hawaii, but here is the first part, at least._

 **The Reunion**

Quinn and her girls arrived on Saturday, the 16th. While the Evans were still mixing it up in Ohio and Cooper wasn't going to be coming until later, she decided that she and Tina and their girls could get themselves a little sisters-nieces time before everybody else got in. It wasn't a secret that even with the distance, Tina and Quinn had gotten much closer and nobody else was closer to either of them, and their children were always happy to see each other, every trip. Kalama and Beth were "favorite cousins," Rose and Oliana were attached at the hip any time that they were all together. The older girls usually babysat their youngest sisters, too, when Leinani didn't go off to enjoy her private time. But, the first weekend was a Girls' Weekend, because Mike had work all weekend and most of the other guests weren't arriving until Monday or late Sunday.

.

Mercedes was extremely excited to go on the trip, despite the fact that she typically hated traveling, _certainly_ hated flying and was even more averse to having to have the children fly. But, she took some advice from Cheri, to get them some headphones for the noise of the plane, and to let them have safe, non messy things to play with for the ride, to keep them entertained when they were awake. Cheri _and_ her children had been raised flying in planes to different events. All this really did was reinforce Mercedes' gladness that Sam was no longer a touring celebrity.

She did lowkey wonder if him being on the road and in front of people a lot had been something that made his personality and presentation more pleasant… Not that he was unpleasant right now - but he was less pleasant than he seemed to be when he was always in front of a camera. She was still a little bit timid about setting him off, though she knew that would fade with time and with his continuous gentleness. He had allowed her to do the things that she was interested in doing and just decided to back her up where he could. It was honestly turning out perfectly. She became more brave about issues, again and he was just really into juggling helping her, starting up the spiritual wellness center, and winning Stevie back, from a distance.

Mercedes was relieved that Stevie would not be there for the entire trip. She didn't want Sam uncomfortable, or feeling like he had to jump through hoops to avoid his own brother or whatever. She was sick of it, but she understood to a certain degree. She had witnessed family members estranged for perceived injury many times. It was just a different feeling for her when one of those people was her beloved husband and the other was his (her) little brother! She wanted to respect his wishes and helped convince Sam that it was best to, but it hurt her that her husband was dejected by his flesh and blood. He loved Stevie so much…

.

Whenever they got off of the plane, on Monday, the 18th, Mercedes was so glad that they had left the dogs with Artie and Lauren, even though she called them as soon as she could turn her phone back on to check on them. Of course, all was well. She told herself not to keep calling about that. Meanwhile, they flew first class, on the same flight that Stacie and Joe flew coach, but they were going to different lodging. Dwight and Nisha were already at the beach house rental that Stacie, Joe, Stevie and his family would be bunking. Dwight was coming to pick them up in the rental truck, but Tina was getting Mercedes and household. Of course, everything was hectic in the airport, but child leashes were in effect and Sam had Mercedes cuffed to him in crowds now, just so they didn't get split up.

While Stacie and Joe went to their home for the week with Dwight, Tina brought Sam, Mercedes and their children to her place, then left Sam to get settled in with the kids while she and Quinn whisked Mercedes away. Mike peeked in and wondered, "Did you plan on seeing your wife at all this week? I just went ahead and determined that it might not happen for me." Sam laughed and gave Mike a handshake-hug combo. "We've got six girls here that are dying to spend at least a short time with your adorable kids, so if you need to let ours and Quinn's come collect what Beth apparently calls "the little Mercies," just let them know.

Sam smiled as he unlatched the children. "The place has been tot-proofed, right?"

"Definitely that. We have all 8 Evans kids here and Quinn's smallest. Mine aren't toddlers, but one is definitely a clutz. I won't put her on blast…"

"It's that middle one. I've watched them before, remember? I watched her trip over nothing but floor and land on top of a dog…" Mike laughed out loud. "Yes, the dog and the child were unharmed, Dr. Chang!" Mike just laughed harder. Sam shook his head.

Now, Beth peeked in and squealed, "BLESSING! BLISS! HEEEEEEAAAVVEEEN!" Blessing cheerfully rushed over to her cousin and was immediately collected by her. With Blessing in tow, she also gave hugs to Bliss and Heaven, said, "I've got them, Uncle Sammy," threw him a salute and walked away with his kids.

"Is it weird that I trust her with my children more than I even trust myself with them?" Sam asked. Mike just laughed again.

.

The three ladies went to their favorite spots on the island, and laughed about many of the various things that they already spoke about, but didn't have the face to face aura to really experience. But, on a more serious note, Tina wondered, "Did you and Sam fix… you know… things?"

Mercedes sighed and finished chewing her food before replying. "We have been working on things. He hasn't done anything to make me think that he isn't on board, now. But, the fact that everything that happened even happened makes me nervous, mostly because it was so unexpected. I would proudly tell anyone, anytime, anywhere that I know my husband. I would tell someone what he would and wouldn't do. I would swear by my familiarity with him, inside out. But, then - suddenly, this Sam that I didn't really know showed up. It wasn't even just that he started fighting. He's always been a fighter and he just hasn't had any reason to be fighting lately. But, this felt different. It was like he was angry with Matt, angry with me… I don't know. There is no thought process that I have that can justify what happened, but to admit that nobody's perfect. But, "nobody's perfect" sounds superficial when faced with a situation of this magnitude…"

"'Nobody's perfect' _is_ superficial in this instance," Quinn said. "'Nobody's perfect' is a response to Beth binge watching Pretty Little Liars instead of studying for a test. 'Nobody's perfect' is a response to having three cheat days a week when you're on a diet. 'Nobody's perfect' is NOT a response to permanently altering someone's face over a disagreement, in particular, someone whose family you killed."

"He didn't…"

"Let's not do it," Quinn said. "The semantics associated with this murder is so stupid. We all know Sam and we've known him for years. We know the things that he has done and we know why he was there that night. Maybe he simply held a camera, but he also held murderous intent and did not hold remorse. He and his friends killed the family. Moving on, right back to my point. Even if he had never been there and had simply _known._ Even if he was standing outside - there should be a level of guilt and shame that provides a safety net for Matt and for Aphasia. He gets to hold the camera to both of the worst days of both of their lives and go on about his life. What could bring him to such a level of comfort with the things that he did to them for him to ever even let his hands attack either of them?"

"Why do you sound like _old_ Quinn right now?" Mercedes asked.

"Because Sam was acting like _old_ Sam. When we re-introduced ourselves, it was under the assumption that changes had been made, from both of our standpoints. The reason that Stevie feels like he does is because he sees what happened as a sign that the demon within never left - just went to sleep. Coming up in the environments of the people that molded them, I have to agree with that assessment and since you can't explain it, either… I'm not sure what your argument is?"

Tina cleared her throat and waved the server over to order another drink. "Mercedes, you know how I feel about Sam. But, you should also know how I feel about you. I want you safe and I want you happy. If Sam were to ever step out of line and do something that hurt you, I'd end him, no thoughts, no pauses. What's concerning is that if even you are on the fence about whether or not he is capable of something, what do the rest of us do?"

Mercedes shrugged her shoulders, "Trust me, I suppose?"

"We do," Tina said. Quinn raised an eyebrow and rubbed Mercedes' hand. "The call from you was frightening, for both of us. Because, we knew that the two of you were having a fight, and that was surprising, but we weren't worried until you confessed that it erupted into violence and seriously shocked and a bit horrified that it was violence on Matt, of all people. Our upbringing taught us that it is extremely rare that a monster changes. We all agreed, he was a monster. You told us he changed. He told us he changed. We saw some change. We believed in the change. Then, you tell us this thing and you attach the addendum that you're worried that you don't really know what is inside of him."

Quinn added, "Tina and I grew up with fathers in the lifestyle that Sam belonged to. Men were such performers in the limelight, but outside of it - I don't know any that weren't abusive in some way. We don't want to have been wrong about Sam. He's family, but… So was our family."

Mercedes shook her head, "He isn't Russell Fabray or Paul Karofsky! I may not know what is going on with him, but I know it isn't _that._ I know that what happened had nothing to do with Matt's skin."

"You know it isn't his nature being stirred, you just don't know what _did_ get stirred?" Quinn asked.

"You're oversimplifying. Just… Why don't each of you spend some solo time with Sam and interrogate and assess him yourselves, since you both know so much about 'men from that lifestyle.'"

Tina sighed, "Thank goodness! We thought we would have to do it without your blessing, and that was just going to be a stressful situation."

Quinn got a drink refill too now, and picked up her glass while stressing, "We both love both of you, but we support YOU, first - and Sam just as an addendum. Now… What the hell happened at the parade? Beth was losing her mind! She insisted that her Uncle Stevie had gotten beaten up."

"Ugh. He did. A picket sign actually punctured his skin! He got stabbed right in the ribs with it! It didn't go deep, but he had some pretty painful blows, it sounded like. Those supremacists were there and I guess what happened was one of them swung at a pregnant woman, so Stevie attacked him…"

"We need to watch out for that one too. He loves the violence. It doesn't matter whether it's POC or Nazis - if he can fight, he will. I'd be more worried about him than I am about Sam," Quinn said. "Of course, Beth has loved him every since she was able to have a sit down with him to hold him accountable and hear out his declaration of giving up the life or whatever. We still have that footage."

"That was one hell of an interview," Tina said. "I understand where Stevie comes from, though. He was shown and taught violence and never how to fight responsibly. Now, he probably feels like the fight is in his DNA. He needs to take a martial arts class or something, harness that energy in a healthy way."

Quinn stated, "I think punching Nazis attacking pregnant women is healthy, but I think that Stevie looks for those opportunities. It's surprising that he didn't physically attack Sam when Sam attacked Matt. I might try to get a one on one with him, too… Just to get a feel for how he's been lately."

Tina wondered, "Want me to go with you?"

"No. I think it's fine." It had been many years since what happened between them. She knew that he was very friendly with Aphasia - which always perplexed her, because Quinn was extremely uncomfortable with him, in general. He usually kept his distance from her, despite the fact that they had talked everything out and decided that what he did to her was "no worse" than what she intended to do to Sam… But, that didn't not stop her memory from associating him with one of her worst nights. Losing Mercy and Tina to her own betrayal, the physical fight, the emotional pain, then being kidnapped and not knowing whether or not she would live to see another day, or be able to earn her sisters back… Beth adored Stevie. Quinn heard her refer to herself as a Stevie stan before and she bought merchandise from his website with her own money - even though all she'd have to do is ask him for it and he'd send it for free! For that reason, Quinn tolerated Stevie, but even after letting Beth ask him about why he did all of the things that he did; Quinn certainly did not trust him.

.

Sam and Mike had decided to do the cooking tonight, as the ladies had been gone all day and nobody spoke of any other plans. Sam… Was not much of a cook, but Mike in his somehow endless talents had plenty of cooking skills and enough to "teach" Sam how to assist him in the meal. It had been awhile since Sam even tasted authentic Chinese food (he only really had it when Mike made it, or at a restaurant that he found while traveling), so helping with it, he felt a little bit overwhelmed. Mike was Chinese American and grew up pretty Americanized, but his family always felt it was important to hold onto some of the things from their home country. His grandmother, in particular shared food and customs. He didn't practice many customs, but he never let go of the food.

Whenever he met Tina, she didn't have many Korean customs from her mother. The woman had literally been beaten down by the obligation to assimilate. She tried to find other people who might be willing to share with her, but it wasn't very fruitful. Mike introduced her to an Asian American Alliance of Ohio, where she did find just that community that she had been seeking out to connect her more to her mother's roots. Since coming to Hawaii, she met various other Korean-Americans. They didn't really (a lot of them) consider themselves "Americans" in the way that she was, but they seemed very open to allowing her some space within theirs. And she found that she learned to be an even better cook!

Honestly, Tina loved her family and old friends that she made in Ohio after all of the years of abuse, but she loved that she didn't ever feel like she had to constantly be on guard or ready to fight every single day. She had not only found her people, but she had found her place. She was happy to let her friends come into it and share it with them, to a certain degree, but she was at peace without having them around, too.

The ladies returned to the house as Beth and Rose were setting the kids' tables and Mike and Sam were setting the big folks.' "Well, well, well… What is happening in here, Mr. Chang?" Tina asked.

"A Chinese-Korean feast for our extended family."

"I helped!" Sam cheered, causing the room to laugh.

"That give me zero confidence," Kurt's voice said. Mercedes, Quinn and Tina all turned to see he and Blaine walking up with bags and they all screamed.

Mike laughed and said, "Oh yeah, and by the way - I managed to get Kurt and Blaine to attend." Kurt, Tina, Mercedes and Quinn were all talking at the exact same time and not taking any breaths, yet all still seemed able to carry on the various conversations. Business, as usual.

.

Sam and Mercedes spent a day on the beach with the kids - just them. It was a nice little getaway for the family, since there were children running around through the entire house. Beth would have a break and be able to hang out with her cousins and sisters without worrying about pottying and stuff too much. Dwight and Mama T were going to meet them later - they translated that to mean after they were all sexed out.

Sam took a multitude of photos of the kids playing in the water and building sandcastles and such. Mercedes was sick and tired of the sand. It was everywhere, got into everything and honestly, she couldn't tell when she had dusted it or shaken it out of her things. If her drink hadn't been ruined, her accidental finding of Bliss trying to eat a handful while his daddy wasn't looking would have been enough. "Sam! Sam! Bliss has sand in his mouth!" She said, when he squirmed away from her. Sam rushed to try to collect him, which simply resulted in a "Don't let Daddy catch you" chase that all three children felt obligated to participate in. "Do you have him yet?" She wondered, trying to listen to the laughter and screams of the kids as they ran all around, getting into Sam's way as to not let him get to Bliss. He finally reached him, had to force him to spit out the sand and rinse his mouth out with a bottle of water.

"Don't eat this. This is not to eat, BearBear."

"That's dirt!" Blessing declared.

"Right. That's dirt. We don't eat dirt," Sam said.

"God made dirt, dirt don't hurt," Bliss said (though not that clearly).

Mercedes' nostrils flared, "I TOLD YOU not to tell them that mess!"

"That's about the food when it hits the ground, not a handful of actual dirt!" Sam defended.

"How does a 2 year old rationalize that, Sam?" Mercedes asked, reaching for Bliss. "Who knows how much sand he ate when you and Heaven were building a castle?"

Sam said in a small voice, "Not a lot, I'm sure. He looks fine." It took her a moment longer to be okay, then things were back to good, but ugh. Sand. And she'd soon remember how it stayed with you, so much longer after you left it than anything should!

But, things got easier to maintain once Papa D and Mama T showed up. Sam unconsciously eyeballed Nisha, honestly… She looked AMAZING for her age, not that she was _old,_ just… He didn't imagine that a parental in a bikini was ever something that could be pulled off so wonderfully by everyday folks. She swooped in, took over playing with the kids and let Dwight and the others sit down and soak up the sun. "At my first grandchild, I didn't know if I was going to enjoy being a grandfather, but it's definitely one of the best things, today." He smiled at Nisha, running with a ribbon wand, making the kids chase her to try to catch the end of it. "When I was your age, I never imagined that I'd come to be this lucky in life."

"When you were my age, you had a good job, a perfect son and a beautiful wife…" Sam said.

"I had a decent job, a perfect son and a beautiful, bitter wife," Dwight corrected. "We did alright, but we weren't happy together and nothing either of us did changed that. You were the one thing that we could always agree on and be excited about. Fast forward a few more years to me having a not so decent job, a perfect son, two new mouths to feed _that Mary didn't even want,_ and a wife who could hardly stand to look at me, probably rightfully so. I wasn't very considerate of how she felt about anything. I just took on what I thought that I could and was determined to run the show."

Sam uncomfortably shifted and Mercedes bit her lip. "Why are we talking about this, Dad?"

"I just want you to remember that your wife's job isn't to just do what you say, when you say it and if she wants to do other things, you oughtta let her know that you're cool with it."

"Where is this coming from?" Sam wondered.

"Was just thinking last night."

"You mean that you were talking to Stacie at the beach house. Dad, me and Babydoll have patched up all of that mess."

"Okay, good. But, that also applies to Stevie. He don't make the same kinds of decisions that you and me do. He's a different kind of man than I was or am right now and a different kind of man than you are. Just because we're often right, doesn't mean that we always know what's best."

"I'm giving him space. You're super late on like everything, Dude."

"Don't nobody ever tell me nothing!" Dwight complained. And they still weren't. Dwight didn't know a thing about Jesse St. James. He would have been supported, but Sam never wanted that at his father's feet. When it first happened, it was the same year that they lost Mary. And eventually, too much time passed for him to just… be told about it. Sam sometimes wondered if Jake or Stevie had ever told Mama T, but if they had, she had kept it from Dwight, as well. Because he never brought it up and when someone did, the context of his conversations proved that he had no idea of the truth. Now, Sam was thinking about _that._ How would Dwight feel learning that, after all of this time?

He forced a smile and told him, "We try to let you enjoy your life, Daddy. You just said it yourself - you're the happiest that you've ever been. We might not agree on anything else, but I know all three of us want you to stay that way."

.

Stevie and Cheri weren't leaving for Hawaii yet. They were taking the children Tuesday to the Juneteenth Convention that Matt and Aphasia arranged at the community center. It would have various workshops on the system, racism, oppression, privilege, allyship, and other important topics, geared towards all ages, with several professionals to speak and some handouts. Stevie tried to ensure that the kids were always aware of all the things in their society, but he never turned down resources that probably did a better job of it.

"Dad, could I go talk to Mrs. Hayward?" Cowboy asked, quietly. Stevie looked up and saw Jane's mother, posted a a station, discussing something, pretty in depth with a small crowd of people behind her and a laser pointer in her hand.

"Actually, Cowboy… Daddy really upset that family with his anger problems. And, even though I made a mistake, I know that if somebody scared you or did something to you, whether or not they made a mistake, I wouldn't be very nice or understanding about it. So, let's not do that today, okay? Maybe in the future. Sorry for this."

"It's okay Daddy. You're still working on your anger and Mommy always tells me that if I do my best, she's proud of me. So, I'm proud of you, too." Cowboy gave Stevie a hug and held his hand while they visited different booths. Stevie had forgotten how involved with the community, particularly the black community that Jane's family had always been, but seeing them now, twice in the past week; he remembered. They were probably pissed at him for running their daughter off. If they even knew what went down. He wasn't even sure and there was no way he'd be bold enough to just go over to the woman.

.

By Wednesday night, when Stevie and Cheri _did_ get in, they went to Dwight's rental beach house and settled in while everyone else in the family was at Tina and Mike's, or on the beach. Cheri brought Bree along with her (as Bree and she were getting close again, after Jake and Bree's breakup and the baby thing, etc - Cheri felt like it would be nice to treat her classmate/fellow cheerleader to a trip. Also, Bree seemed to be helping her out with tasks and beauty work. She'd been at theirs since the parade, but Stevie hadn't expected for Cheri to get her a ticket and bring her with them. He was bothered, but trying his best not to complain, as Cheri had been through enough already, especially with how she was feeling about not being enough, and the whole parade fight thing… She could use the extra help since he was still in pain. But, _Bree,_ though. Stevie felt a way about having her around so much, and honestly, Cheri seemed to want her around because of that. He couldn't tell if he was imagining it or not, but she was definitely up to something and he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

They gathered up the kids and made the short trip to Tina's, was greeted with hugs, kisses, cheers from the kids that the rest of their cousins were now present, and a few surprised looks from Evanses of Bree's presence. "Hello, Bree…" Tanisha said, confused.

Bree told her, "Cheri _insisted_ that I come. I honestly have every intention of just staying out of the way and trying to enjoy Hawaii."

Dwight offered, "Don't be silly. We're glad to see you." He gave her the first hug anybody there offered and asked her if she wanted anything to eat. Tanisha forced a smile and returned to a conversation with Blaine and Mike. Cheri and Bree followed Dwight to where the food was and he explained, "We've all been taking turns on different nights to try to contribute to cooking. Some of it is leftovers and some of it is current, but we're warming up everything and setting it out so nothing goes to waste."

"It's like a buffet," Bree noted. She asked Cheri more quietly, "Anything here that'll be okay for you, or do I need to run out and get you something?"

Dwight pointed out some things, "Nisha was very vocal about what kinda stuff she could have." Cheri just smiled. _Mama T was always the GOAT._

Sam was staring at Stevie. Stevie uncomfortably put his hands in his back pockets and went outside, where he saw some chairs on the patio. Tina and Kurt were out there, talking, so he just went to a different table, saying hi as he passed by them.

"Didn't realize you had arrived," Tina said. "How was the trip?"

"It was fine. Thank you for having us."

"Nonsense. You're family. There are very few people in this world closer to me than Sam is." Kurt rolled his eyes. Sam lowkey stole his spot as Tina's brother, though she did credit _both_ of them, and she and Kurt were still, to this day talked to each other more, about more and worked together as much as they could, Sam and her had something else. They didn't need to talk as much. They didn't have to see each other as much. And still, somehow, that blond bastard had his spot. "I heard that you got into a pretty bad fight. You need anything? Considering that you've been on a plane for hours and probably not yet healed up from the beatdown."

"No, thank you. I like a little bit of pain. I often need it to remind me that I'm still human," Stevie told her.

"On that note, I'm going back inside," Kurt said.

When he left, Tina joined Stevie at the table. "I know how that can be. I also know how it can be to get so used to feeling pain that you convince yourself that you like it, just so it can't hurt you the way that it used to. At any rate, whatever your story… I know that technically I'm _Sam's_ friend… But, know that if you need someone, I'll be here." She gave him a squeeze on his shoulder. "I should get back inside. Kurt and I were planning a little mini reunion post this one for another side of the family." She got up, stretched, then said, "They deserved it, you know. I mourned, only whatever sliver of my soul I lost, but every single one of them deserved it. We're not less human for being strong enough to rid this world of them. None of us. Not me, not you, and not Sam." She went inside. _But, if we can't stop… Then, are we still human?_

 _._

It was the 21st. Stevie and Stacie had went to pick Jake up from the airport. Cheri was all dolled up - wig, sunflowers, a coverall thin enough to breath but patterned enough to cover her bruises, and sitting on the patio with Sam and Dwight while they discussed their surfing lessons with Tina. Sam fussed, "It was like Mother Nature was SOOOOO pissed at me. Every. Single. Wave. Slapped me down like I had stolen the heart of Te'Fiti!" She cackled. "Meanwhile, Daddy gets on the thing and acts like he's just been doing it his entire life! He comes out of the water looking 12 years younger!"

Cheri offered, "It's not Papa D's fault he's in great shape."

Sam scoffed, "I'm in great shape!" Cheri laughed again. "I mean… I _look_ like I'm in great shape!"

"I watched you eat an entire pan of four cheese tuna casserole with a Cool Ranch Doritos crust. I WATCHED you. I sat there the entire time and thought, surely any moment, he will get full and stop eating. You didn't stop until after the whole pan was gone, then you asked if anybody wanted to go get a milkshake, because you wanted one to wash down the casserole!" Cheri recalled. "I wished I had been taping you, because that would have gotten millions of hits!"

"I said I LOOK LIKE I'm in shape! Dang!" Cheri was crying, laughing. "Also… When is Mama T gonna make another one of them casseroles? Because that was honestly the best."

"She made it for you. That was your birthday, I think?" Dwight said.

"Yep. I remember, because I wasn't sure if I should go, since me and Stevie weren't together, but since nobody knew we weren't together, I didn't want to not show up, Got there, and HIS ASS didn't even show up!" Cheri shook her head. Sam looked suddenly sad. "Oh, I'm sorry. You probably don't want to talk about Stevie…"

"It is killing me not to be able to say anything to him, but I guess if it helps him to heal…"

Cheri tried to help, "Stevie used to do this to me all of the time, when we were in the institution. He'd completely not speak to me, not look at me, tell me not to bother him if I so much as looked his way. He could do it for an amazing amount of time. Most of the time, he was the one in the wrong, too! But, I think that it's not only a defense mechanism, but also something that helps him to think clearly. So… I don't know… Hopefully soon, it passes."

Joe found his way to them and Cheri said, "I had almost forgotten that you were here! Where on Earth have you been?"

"Exploring the islands. There's so much more than just the beach and the tourist spots. Stacie and I are going to do some deep sea diving. I found a place…" He gave her a hello hug and took a seat among them to join in the conversation.

Sam was now interested in deep sea diving and Cheri teased, "Hold up… You couldn't hang on top of the water, but you wanna go deep into the water? Te'Fiti gon' mess you up, Bruh." She and Dwight laughed, while Joe needed to be filled in on what had happened.

.

Jake wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that Bree was there. Also, he wanted to be able to hang around Stevie, but Stevie was in pain, medicated and trying to keep out of everyone's way. Jake wanted to enjoy the islands like everyone else. He spent the first day with Stevie, Stacie, and Cheri. They went out and about while everyone else did their own thing. He spent the evening with the parents, went to Tina's for the nightly mass gathering, and slept at Quinn's rental, as planned.

Mercy, Tina, Quinn, Kurt (and sometimes Stacie and Cheri) were doing a lot together. Dwight, Sam, Joe, Jake (and sometimes Stevie) were hanging out. Mike, Blaine, Cooper (who came the day after Jake did), and Stevie were just staying out of the ladies' way.

When Mama T wasn't jumping from her girls to her boys, she was overseeing the kids. She trusted the little Puckerman girl and everything, but she was still a kid, after all. Plus, the rest of these young people were doing the most. Surfing, deep sea diving, mountain climbing, shopping sprees… ALL of that sounded exhausting. She loved the outdoors. Dwight had showed her a side of it that she had never thought to venture into and she always had a great time with him, but all of this additional stuff sounded like a bit much. She was simply trying to sip island drinks and be fly in bikinis all week… Whoa… She just realized that the week was almost over! She was tempted to stay a little longer and just drink in more of this place.

Sam found her on the beach with the kids and rushed over, happily. "Hey, Mama T. How have the kids been?"

"My angels." She waved Beth and the others over so that they could head back to the beach house. Everybody in the reunion party was going to come over to Dwight and Nisha's rental for the night and she wanted to be able to get cleaned up and get the place ready for all of the guests.


	26. The Ravenous

_This is what happens when you're a ship-whore, recently finished Sense8, thirsting for drama and reminiscing about the days you used to make the P pop. However you all respond, I'm sure is my goal. LOL. Hawaii Reunion continues..._

 **The Ravenous**

Bree was in the kitchen, making coffee whenever Stevie came into the room. She was startled, but went back to what she was doing. "Morning," she said. "Want a cup?" He grabbed his own mug and poured his own coffee. "I'm glad I finally got you alone. Cheri has been acting weird."

"Yeah, I think I noticed. Case in point, why are you here?"

"She insisted! She's sick and… I feel _bad_ …" He sighed and walked away. "She asked about us."

He turned around really quickly, "What about us?"

"She was talking really weird about you and me and I was uncomfortable, then she asked me if something ever happened between us."

"What did you say?"

"That I would prefer that she talked to you about that."

He nearly dropped his cup, set it down, and asked, "Why. Would. You. Say. That?"

"Because, that was my honest answer. What do you think I should have said?"  
"NO! You should have said "no!" He snapped.

"No"… is not the truth."

"Do you have any idea how she's going to respond to that kind of a response? Do you know the amount of _crazy_ that you have made room for by saying that?"

"Okay, but just talk to her, then," Bree said, stirring her cup. "I don't know how to lie. That's why _I'm_ open about everything that _I_ choose to do." She left the kitchen and headed back to the bedroom.

.

Stevie was irritated for the rest of the day. Whenever he went back into the bedroom, Bree was already working on styling Cheri's wig for her. "Want me to get the kids ready for the day?" He asked.

"Aren't you keeping them today?" She asked back, laced with attitude. He forced a smile, glared at Bree, then grabbed his clothes to dip into the bathroom to wash up and get ready for the day. After he was done, he walked past them to go get the children up.

While Sam was out with Tina and Quinn, Cheri and Bree got together with Stacie, and Stevie and Cooper got into an argument about police reform and police brutality… How TF it came up? Nobody seemed able to remember, but Stevie clearly stated, "Maybe if more of them were murdered, everyone would be a little bit safer."

Cooper squinted, "If more of the officers were murdered?"

"Yeah. Thought that was clear from context."

"They put their lives on the line everyday to make sure that citizens are safer."

"If those citizens happen to be white and even more if they have money."

"That is specifically who you are, even if your statement were true, you'd be safe."

"Yeah, but fuck the rest of my family and everyone else? Fuck Andrea Cohen? Right. "IF my statement was true," because everybody in this room hasn't seen multiple state sanctioned murders on record and news of each and every murderer receiving virtually no punishment. Keeping good white citizens safe, but who's keeping all of the other citizens safe from them?"

"There has been a rise in the murders of police."

"Yeah - by white dudes, and we're still the safest demographic from those bastards." Now, Cooper was red in the face.

"You believe that someone making a mistake that results in death means that they should also die and not be able to keep the rest of the people safe that they would have helped to protect, had they lived?"  
"I believe that the police system should be abolished. It was created to reign in runaway slaves and it still functions as a weapon of oppression against black people. It can murder them with impunity and harass them as a regular practice. We're living in a police state and they are some of the main victims of the police force. In addition to that, I do believe that a cop who murders someone without a second thought most _definitely_ should die. I think that they should die slowly, painfully, and miserably." He smiled at Cooper's angered face and shrugged his shoulders, "I call that balance."

"Well, the officer who accidentally killed your friend has vanished, so he's probably been killed by some militant."

"That sounds like a blessing, to me." Stevie said.

Cooper shook his head and walked away.

"Pig," Stevie muttered.

Mike and Blaine looked uncomfortable. Sterling was coming into the room. Stevie was at peace with that entire situation. It made him feel a little better about his Bree situation. "Daddy?" He turned to see his baby boy.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Too many people here. Can I stay with you?" Stevie hoisted him up and let him sit on his lap while Mike tried to think of an acceptable subject to move on to. Sterling spent a lot of the time with Stevie, mostly the two of them alone and just quietly chatting while Stevie was doing his routine of not making friends well and Sterling was doing his similar routine of being stressed out by the thought of being surrounded by people. He was the one that Stevie felt was most like him. He was not very social and was quiet. When he did get comfortable, he was the nicest, friendliest kid… just it took him awhile and between a parade, a convention, a plane ride, and the reunion, Sterling was simply spent on his social energy.

He didn't even want to go to the beach with Mama T and the others. He stayed with his daddy.

.

All of the children were so in love with Dwight's spacious rental that they all wanted to spend the night there, with their cousins - which of course Mama T agreed to. She loved all of these kids and she felt like it would be good for all of the parents to have at least a night of peace. Maybe some of them could get some tonight.

Dwight was roasting a pig, because it is as one of those things that he'd always wanted to do and he had gotten loads of tips when he was last in Tennessee.

Before Sam met Mama T and the kids at the beach, he'd been taken to brunch by his sister-in-laws just to see how things were going.

"Soooo… We haven't had much face to face, one on one since you got here," Tina said.

Quinn followed up with, "What's been going on with you? You called me a few times, casually - and you were unravelled the whole time. I could have been more empathetic and made some time for you. Have you gotten yourself together? What can Tina and I do to help you and Mercy? And what are _you_ doing to make everything better?"

Tina tilted her head and looked at him, waiting for his answer.

"Is that why y'all wanted to spend time with me today? Not to kick it,but to kick me around?"

"I feel like her questions are fair," Tina said. "We talked about this over the phone, but… the whole You VS Matt thing… That's so troubling for reasons that I hope you don't make us point out."

Sam sighed, smiled at them both and said, "First off… I love you both. We've come a long way together. Years ago, this conversation would have gonuch differently. I've changed, I've grown and so have y'all. But, I'm not perfect. None of us are. I… really messed up. I hate what I did. I wish that I could take it back. I wanted to love Matt. I wanted to spend the rest of my life paying my respects to he and his family. I didn't do that. Instead, I added to my list of sins and this one, I can't blame on anybody but myself. But, I hope and pray that it doesn't change how y'all look at me. I really am still the Sam you came to trust, and hopefully, you both still do. I need that. I need to know that y'all don't hate me, too." His eyes were teary.

"Who hates you?" Quinn asked.

"Stevie," Tina reminded her.

Quinn nodded her head, remembering. "Well, if it makes you feel better, Stevie seems to hate most people. As a matter of fact, I got a strand of texts about how he's a dangerous psychopath and shouldn't be around the girls."

"Who the hell said that?" Tina and Sam asked at the same time.

"Coop. Who else? Apparently, Stevie went on some type of anti-police rant, unprovoked and wished death upon all the cops or something."

Sam defended, "Cooper probably said something obnoxious. As somebody who regularly pisses Stevie off, even I will profess that he rarely goes off on someone for no reason at all."

Quinn brought them back to their original subject, "But, whether Stevie hates you or hates everybody, we don't. We do love you, and we do trust you. If you're telling us that we don't have anything to worry about, we believe you and we will back you up just like we would back Mercy up if she needed. But, don't ever put her through any shit like that again." Tina nodded her head, solemnly, in agreement. Sam reached out both of his hands and they each took one. Tina held hers close. Quinn squeezed it, then patted it, then let it go.

.

Whenever everyone was at Dwight's beach house, because it was roomier, and they were all full of pork and lounging around, having casual conversations and admiring each others' tans, some cuddled up with partners, some laying all over their besties, the kids all put to bed, as they were simply going to stay there Friday night…

Nisha was ready to go to bed, but she wasn't 100% ready to steal Dwight from his children. Jake and Bree looked way too cozy, but she couldn't control that. They hadn't talked much and were finally in a social setting together again. First, Nisha went to get washed up and put on her night clothes - a little thigh high nightgown and a pair of bunny slippers. She returned to the room, walked up to Dwight as he reclined on the couch and reached for a hug. He sat up, wrapped both arms around her backside, took a deep breath, inhaling her, and then gave her a kiss over her nightie… Pretty much right where her center is.

Stevie announced, "That is the type of life I want to live, where I'm an old man and my hot wife lets me give her public casual coochie kisses."

Bree chuckled and paraphrased, "Public pubic pecks." She, Jake, and Stevie laughed. Cheri frowned.

"That'd be a miracle when your wife can't even get _private_ casual coochie kisses, isn't hot anymore and is gonna be dead when you're old. But, I'm sure you'll have options." Cheri commented and took a sip of her drink. Stevie looked at her, embarrassed and a little shaken, as she seemed unbothered. This was what he thought she might do at the table the night that she announced her cancer. _This_ was happening. It wasn't a mistake, miscommunication or a drill. She was going to act this way… With an audience of his family.

Mama T didn't miss a beat and tried to glaze over the humiliation, by highlighting, "Well, when you're old and comfortable, you don't care about whatever it is that keeps all of you younger ones from the little joys of the world, such as casual coochie kisses. I, on the other hand, am not above whipping out the old bushy gushy and slapping Dwight in the face with it…" She looked down at him with a little smile, winked at him, and tousled his hair as his hug became tighter (and his shorts did too).

"And suddenly," Dwight announced, "I'm ready to retire for the night." He stood up and told the others, "Y'all enjoy your night. Last one out, please lock up, but everybody's welcome to stay." Nisha sauntered to the bedroom with Dwight's eyes on her. "The Lord keeps blessing me," was the last thing the others heard him say.

Stacie informed the others, "It's actually harder to hear them in here than it is in our bedroom. Nothing will ever be like their wedding night, so I'm good."

Kurt wondered, "Do we want to know about their wedding night?"

Sam immediately jumped on that story, "Yes! Oh my Lord. We stayed at their place, because the wedding was there, it's out of state, it's humongous and all that and we just had a wedding. So, we're all in the living room, lounging around, much like this. We're all full of food and legs are tired from all the reception two-stepping and whatnot, when we hear Mama T just… Sounding like she's you know… Making a porno -" Tina cackled. Kurt stared wide-eyed.

Stevie jumped in with, "And knowing them, they probably were. I can't imagine that the studio wasn't used on the wedding night."

"Studio?" Mike repeated.

Stevie cheered, "Dad learned a little bit about making films so that he could set up a home studio, in which, I discovered that he uses to create high quality porn for his personal collection!" He excitedly explained, "I accidentally learned this when I went over to his house and his recording stuff was still out and I'm all asking about why he didn't tell me that he's interested in filmmaking. That's my jam. So, I start asking him questions, he's all red in the face and trying to answer without saying anything incriminating, when it dawned on me… He's saying 'for private fun, my personal collection, just some things I don't want anyone else to see'… dadada, and it dawned on me and I called her," He pointed his thumb to Cheri, "And told her about it and we were like WHY DID WE NEVER THINK OF THIS?"

Cheri muttered, "Good thing we didn't. Would have been a waste of money…" He huffed and turned to her angrily.

Stacie returned to the wedding night story, "So, not only is Mama T loud, but the headboard is like banging against the wall in this steady rhythm, and it sounds like they are going to break it in half or something. You can hear Daddy like… I don't know… grunting? Growling?"

"Both," Sam offered, laughing. "They reach satisfaction, I guess, and it's quiet for a bit. Then; Daddy comes into the kitchen and we all look over as he grabs a glass, fills it with water and drinks it in nearly one gulp. He's dripping with sweat, wearing a pair of boxers, chest still heaving, and he drinks like five glasses of water back to back."

"Seven," Stevie said, finally turning away from Cheri, but still looking upset. "I counted."

"Seven glasses of water and then he FINALLY notices us still in the living room and he's startled, sets his glass down, and leaves, without saying anything. Moments later, Mama T comes into the kitchen, in her bathrobe. She grabs a 24 count case of bottled water with one hand, a pitcher of sweet tea left from the wedding out of the fridge with the other, turns to us and says, " _Go to bed, you little shits,"_ and returns to the bedroom while we're all cackling."

"I wasn't cackling," Jake said. "I don't understand why parental sex is so amusing to all of you." Bree lipped _Whypipo,_ to him and they both silently chuckled. He whispered, "Have you ever known _anybody_ though, as preoccupied with their parents' sex life as them?"

Tina laughed, "Oh God - I could _tell_ that those two have an active sex life. Like, when I was teaching you two to surf, her responses were like… I felt like I was watching the opening of literally a plotted porno."

"They ARE a walking porno," Stacie said. "It's disturbing, but I can't look away."

Bree giggled and said, "I think there's something to be said about a 60 year old man that still puts in that work. Papa D ain't just a cute lil' nickname." The room either laughed, or looked uncomfortable.

Cheri suddenly said, "Bree, can you come help me get settled, please?" Bree nodded and quickly got up, helped Cheri up and they left the room. Everybody looked at Stevie. He forced a smile and got up too.

He rushed to the room, fuming, flung the door open, and said, "Let's do it. Let's go for it."

Cheri and Bree both jumped and Bree cut him off, keeping him from approaching Cheri, "What are you doing?"

"You said it yourself, me and Cheri need to talk and she's made it clear that she won't let me have a moment's rest until we do, so I'm here to talk!"

Bree gently shoved him back and said, "You need to calm down before you talk to her! You don't barge in and come at her like that. Who do you think you are? Take a walk, or something."

"Who do _you_ think _you_ are?" Stevie asked Bree. "And why are you exempt from her bullshit, right now?"

"Because at least she didn't fucking lie to me!" Cheri screeched, moving closer to Stevie now, Bree turned to gently hold her back. "I asked you! I straight up asked you, flat out, if you slept with anybody that I knew and you told me no. You looked me right in my face and told me no!"

He yelled right back, "Because you weren't actually asking me if there was anybody that you knew! You were asking me if it was Aphasia. I know how your mind works and I know how you think. I knew what you wanted to know and I answered _that_ question."

"DID you fuck Aphasia, since we're all on Front Street right now?" Cheri asked.

"I wish I would have, since you'll think whatever you want to think, anyway." Cheri knocked Bree aside and slapped Stevie in the face.

"Whoa!" Bree yelled and held her back. Stevie started laughing and shook his head. "There she is! That's the fucking woman I married. Nice to see you again. How have you been? Missed you while I've been taking care of your shell!"  
"Stevie, STOP!" Bree fussed, pulling Cheri into the bathroom. Cheri went inside for a moment and Bree reiterated, "You need to go walk this off and talk to her when you're both a little bit calmer."

"You're the one that needs to leave. Cheri is my wife, and we were together before she ever met you and certainly before you really became friends. If she needed someone, she'd have other people to actually bring with her. She has you here to fuck with me, Bree! You're here working for her to stir up guilt in me, because, obviously - she knew what happened. She is fucking with both of us. She loves playing games when she's hurt or mad. That shit that she just pulled, in front of my family? I wouldn't do that to her."

"Yeah, I know. But, I'm doing whatever she needs me to because…" Bree clenched her fists, trying to gather her wits and her words, "I was supposed to be her friend, and I fucked her goddamn husband! And she was DYING the whole time, even if we didn't know! Whether you two were separated or not, whether Jake said go for it, whether I was in an open relationship and she was seemingly moving on with someone else… I should have been better." Bree covered her face with both of her hands and made ready to leave the room.

She ran into Jake coming in and he hugged her, "Hey. What's up? What's wrong? We heard the screaming."

Stevie said, "Cheri… Knows."

Jake held his head. Everybody in the family knew that he and Bree were in an open relationship, that he was a self-proclaimed swinger, and that they had been with other people both individually and as a couple when they were together. All three of them knew that Cheri would probably eventually get to the point where all those details combined with the amount of time Stevie spent living with them while they were separated, might at least raise questions. And the fact that Stevie himself was quite insatiable when he was happy, a little more so when he was sad and needed something to make him happy.. Jake went to go check on her, in the bathroom, while Stevie and Bree hung back. "Hey, Cheri…"

"What the fuck is wrong with _you?"_ She opened the bathroom door, makeup running, crying, red in the face and bombarded him with rage, "Not only is it SUPER WEIRD to let or whatever you did, accept your girlfriend sleeping with your brother, but then you lied to me, too! I guess you two really are bros. I asked you to level with me. I asked you to tell me the truth and you too, lied to me. Bree is the only person who at least has some shame and tried to avoid the question. She at least didn't…" She slammed the door again. "BREE!" She screamed. Bree quickly rushed to the bathroom and ducked into it with Cheri.

"What the fuck, Dude? What happened?" Jake asked.

Stevie shook his head, "I don't know. I think she figured it out on her own. Bree didn't tell her."

"Just… explain to her what happened. She understands my lifestyle, me and Bree's and she's just upset because she's thinking of you in the husband light and not the _she made it very clear that she did not want you in her life_ light."

"I already lied about it, you know she's not gonna believe anything I say."

"Why'd you lie, then?" Jake had lied, because Stevie had. He shouldn't have, but that was Stevie's marriage and he wasn't going to say something to contradict whatever the hell Stevie was over there saying. He would have told her the truth, otherwise. He wasn't embarrassed. Stevie was closer than any of their friends in their swingers circles and also, that seemed a better option than him possibly going on some self destructive sex binge or fighting spree. Stevie hadn't _needed_ Bree, but it was helpful and Jake wasn't going to feel "weird" about it when they literally fucked other people whenever they wanted to.

Stevie sighed and told Jake, "She's been sick. Worrying makes her sicker. It did that before this the subject came up, she had already been worrying about these random pussy pix she saw in my phone; accidentally. I didn't think that there was a need to give her more to worry about when the Bree situation had come to a head. She had taken me back. She needed comfort, not honesty. She doesn't have a lot of time. I just didn't want to hurt her."

"That is a complete and utter lie!" Cheri said, catching only the end of what he said, the bathroom door open, again. "You did it TO hurt me. You thought that it would get back to me, either through Jake or Bree or something and you wanted this to hurt me!" She was crying and she came forward and started slapping him across his chest, "And you did it! You hurt me, just like you wanted to! For making you leave! And for not being with you, and now - you don't even want me. You lied to keep me and you won't even have me? You won't touch me, you act like I'm a plague!" She cried hard and fell against his chest.

Stevie wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the forehead, "Baby, I am so sorry. You're right. Jake didn't mind. I didn't think I would ever have you back, and I _did_ think you'd find out and it would hurt you, at the time. Because, I wasn't okay, at the time. I wasn't right. Then, by the time I did get you back, I didn't want you to know, because I no longer wanted to hurt you and I'm sorry. I didn't want you know. I'm sorry that I lied, but I didn't want this conversation to ever happen." Bree was shaking, crying. Jake rubbed her across her back. "And I _do_ want you. I haven't touched you, because I worry about hurting you or making you sicker. You bruise so easily and you're always so tired. I don't mean to treat you like you're undesirable. I've only meant to try to protect you…"

She back away and reached for Bree, again. Bree took her hand and helped her into the bathroom. Cheri shut the door, again, this time on Bree. Bree pressed her head against it. Whenever Cheri came back out, the three of them were still there. She sighed and laughed, and sat on her bed, "You know how I found it out? I was vetting Bree to keep you entertained. I was thinking… Stevie has needs. He might need something, but he refuses it. I thought - I'll do like that movie, but not so creepily. Bree and Jake had recently broken up. She was basically homeless and pretty much looks like me… Just like you said your random affairs did. And when I tried to ask her questions to see if she would be willing, she was acting pretty strange. I thought that was unlike her. She's always so cool and open-minded, especially about sex. That was one of the reasons I thought I could go to her about this. It reminded me, that I had had a bad feeling… whenever we walked in on her naked, and she was hella comfortable with it. She almost hugged us, then she went to put something on. And that day, I wondered, has she greeted him this way before in the past?" Stevie put his head down. "And I thought, it's just you being jealous and insecure again, Cheri. I pushed it away until how weird she was acting about possibly making arrangements to… just to help you while I was sick and ugly."

She wrapped a silk scarf around her bald head, "I asked Jake about it. He thought that he smoothed it over. I thought, maybe he didn't know. I went through your phone. And, yeah - it was much cleaner than before. I didn't find nudes or anything. I did find texts. Very general, asking if she was feeling okay and how things went and stuff like that. So, I thought - okay… They're friends, I guess. He _did_ live with them sometimes in the past year, so… Maybe this is all innocent. But, I scrolled up and I saw the 'Did you get the money' text…"

Stevie turned pale and shook his head. Bree got up and shook her head, "Cheri, I know that you're upset and you have every right to be…"

"What money?" Jake asked, curiously.

Cheri cackled, "OMG! OK! So, at least I'm not the LEAST informed person. I feel a little bit better. Unfortunately, it's on the table, now. Might as well keep moving forward. I mean, I had to learn the truth." Bree cried and looked at Jake, then Stevie.

Stevie answered Jake, "Bree called, after the two of you talked about possibly having a baby, and she was really upset and scared, and she was certain that you didn't want a baby. So, she asked me if I could help her, and I did."

Jake squinted, "Help her with what?"

Bree said, "Nobody wanted a baby and you didn't want to be a part of an abortion, so I called the next reasonable person to help me."

Cheri commented, "The next _reasonable_ person… I checked the bank statements. I never do that, ever. So, he wouldn't have thought anything of it. The dates of the texts and the money were right. When I saw that he paid for that abortion, I knew. I knew that was because there had to _at least_ be a possibility that it could have been his. He wouldn't have done it. He would have convinced Jake to do it, if he thought it was Jake's responsibility." She covered her face again. Jake sat down on the bed next to her, now. "I _thought_ it was weird that Mama T was wrong about a pregnancy. She's never wrong." Jake nodded his head. He had thought the same thing. Cheri was still going, "Then, I waited, asked Bree questions, watched them together, saw her trying to tell him without being over how stupid I must have looked over the past few months, and got angry. If you would have just told me, I could have gotten upset and gotten over it by now, just like I did the DMs and the other affairs. Because, I realize that I sent you away. And yeah, I _would have_ been more upset about this than some lightskinned stripper with buttcheek tats, but I also would have been understanding, as much as I could as a human being with feelings. It was killing me to be away from you, and you were plotting ways to hurt me. I didn't think you were like that anymore. I don't think Bree wanted to hurt me. I don't think Jake necessarily did, even though he didn't want us getting back together. But, I knew when I found out that it had to be a conscious decision of yours to hurt me. That's not what5 hurts me the most. What hurts me the most is that Bree and I used to get mistaken. And now, I don't even look like me. She looks more like me than me and I know that you HAVE to see that when you look at her!"

Stevie walked over to them, kneeled in front of them and put a hand on each of their thighs, "I feel like all that I've done lately is grovel before the people I love and try to get them to forgive me for doing messed up stuff to them. I'm not good for y'all, and I know that. I'm sorry. I will do anything for you to forgive me."

Jake sighed and shook his head, "I wish you had told me the truth about the abortion, but I told Bree that I supported whatever she decided. Anyway… If it _was_ yours, with Stacie trying to adopt? That would have all been… Honestly, I don't see why that ever has to leave this room." He shook his head, but gave Stevie a squeeze on the shoulder. "And, I lied too, so how could I possibly get mad at you for that? Thanks for looking out for my lady… even if we had broken up."

Bree said, "I left because I didn't know how to live with you and with that secret…" Jake reached out for her and she met his hug, crying. "I called Cheri and tried to tell her the truth, but I was scared that all of you would hate me. So, instead, I told her that the pregnancy scare made me realize that you and me were too serious to have no strings attached and I had to break free from everything if I wanted to figure out what I wanted. I missed you, so much."

Stevie told Cheri, "I didn't want to lose you again. When I had you back, I didn't want to do or say anything that could make you leave me again. Can you ever forgive me? Do you think you have enough time for that to be possible?"

"Honestly, I just want you to want me again," she said.

"I do want you. I wanted you every time. I want you now. I don't want to hurt you."

"Just be gentle…" She said and leaned to kiss him.

Stevie was still apprehensive. He'd been gentle with her when they got back together, and she STILL wound up covered in bruises. Bree reached for Cheri's hand and said, "If nobody minds, I can show you, Stevie." She gently collected Cheri and waited for her to lean on for it and began to kiss her...

.

Sam let everybody out at the end of the night, as he and Mercy were just gonna spend the night here, since the kids and she had already fallen asleep. They began to leave after they heard arguing from Stevie and Bree, then Stevie and Cheri, then Cheri and Jake… Honestly… They were arguing a lot and everyone was trying not to listen, until they just all left, feeling uncomfortable. He went to check on the situation with his little brothers. It all sounded so messy, he wanted to stay out of it, but also… As the older brother, he felt obligated to at least check.

The arguing had stopped, but he wasn't sure if it was over, or just paused. He passed by Stevie's quarters and heard what appeared to be sex sounds, so he guessed that it was all alright. He wasn't sure where Jake and Bree were, but figured that hopefully they were okay too. Maybe they had gone outside or something. He wondered if he might have to let them back inside. He walked around outside for any sign of them. He waited for a while, then went to bed. They'd knock or whatever, if they had to.

Every since they laid it all on the table, he and Mercedes had been doing honestly great. He felt better. Whenever he did feel a way about something, his coping method was to pray and work on the new center. Mercedes and he spent the time that it took them to travel places and the time that it took them to fall asleep coming up with other plans of dreams that they had for the place.

On a daily basis, they were more conscious of making sure that they brought things that they would say a little prayer about to each other and get a partner for their little prayers, and whenever he told Tina and Quinn all these little details, that seemed to make them feel better about everything. Once upon a time, a meeting like today's brunch might have meant that they were about to try to destroy his world. But, they had sat down with him because he mattered to them. He smiled about that. Hopefully, sometime, he would matter to Stevie again.

When he climbed into bed with Mercedes and cuddled up to her, she chuckled slightly at her snoring. She had been drinking drinks and "cooking" in the sun. She was out cold. He rested his head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat through his favorite pillows until he was asleep too.

.

Sam went to check on Stevie and Cheri again in the morning, knocking softly on the door when he got to it. It sounded like the four of them were singing softly, until Bree opened the door and peeked from behind it, like she was undressed. "Hey. I didn't know you were still here. I thought you maybe left with Jake." She shook her head, but offered no explanation. "I was just checking in. Y'all all seemed upset when you left the gathering."

"We're fine," she said. "Thank you." She shut the door and he heard the others giggling on the other side. _Know what - none of whatever is happening in there is your business…_

Mercedes came to breakfast in her clothes from the previous evening. Nobody here had anything her size. Bunch of skinny muffuggas… Sam came into the kitchen and sat next to her, "I am relatively sure that two of my brothers had an orgy last night!" He whispered. She almost spit out of her coffee, but choked on it instead. After she was okay, he expounded, "Last night, they were arguing, but when I passed by they were boning and when I checked this morning, Bree was naked and everybody else was still in the room!"

"Hold up. What do you mean, Bree was naked? Ain't that a thing sighted people cover up respectfully?" She asked.

"She was like, hiding behind the door, but I'm sure of it."

"That's nasty. They nasty!" she yelped.

"Shhhhh!" He said. Stevie and Jake came into the kitchen and started making breakfast.

Jake offered, "Hey - you all want me to make extra for you while we're getting food for Bree and Cheri?"

Mercedes asked back, "I don't know. Did you wash your hands?"

Stevie laughed and said, "There will be no sex associated germs in your eggs, Sis."

"So y'all did have an orgy? Y'all nasty!" Mercedes said.

"Not an orgy, more like a gangbang, I guess? Swinger date?" Stevie said, amused with Mercedes' blank face but disgusted mouth.

Jake threw his hands up and asked, "But, are you hungry, though, Mercy?"

"Y'all aren't even in a season of a reality show! What the hell?" She asked.

Jake said, "Mercedes, I love you, but I will not tolerate this sex shaming. We're consenting adults and we did not bring this information to you or ask for your opinion."

Stevie added, "And PLEASE do not say anything to Cheri about it. Eggs, or nah?"

"You know I want some breakfast!" Mercedes huffed.

Stevie looked at Sam, for the first time in a while and asked, "What about you?"

Sam couldn't hide his complete and utter joy with just that little bit of acknowledgement, though he totally tried to downplay it, "If it isn't a bother." Stevie shook his head and finished helping Jake with making breakfast (for everybody in the house).

Jake brought Cheri and Bree theirs, in the room. Stevie gathered all the kids and brought them into the living room. They were happy to be able to eat away from the table (which didn't have enough kid accommodations) and Mama T could foresee the mess that she would have to clean up today, while the rest of them were going to do this huge beach camping thing. She was gonna pass on that, but Dwight was excited. He was gonna take his sons and grandsons hiking, the girls would be with their moms at the campsite - maybe some of those other guys. She was going to clean up, day drink, and sit in the hot tub, with a fan blowing in her face.

Sam's crew had to get back to Tina's where their luggage was to wash up and get ready. Bree took her things to Quinn's beach house, as she was going to bunk with Jake, now. Whenever Sam and the boys made it back to Dwight's Stevie and Joe were already ready and talking on the couch, seemingly about something heavy. They became quiet when Sam came in. Stevie got up and said, "I'll go see what's taking Dad."

"Probably spending time with the wife before having to be apart from her for a few hours," Sam said. Stevie nodded, sat back down and the three were quiet for a while before Sam said, "Breakfast was great. Thank you." Stevie just nodded. Joe offered Sam a smile and a a slight warning look. _Don't push it._ He still had time. They had time.


	27. The Remorse

**The Remorse**

Dwight, Sam, Stevie, Jake, Joe, and the boys headed out for their hiking trip in the later part of the morning. Bree collected Cheri's kids and met with Mercedes and the other ladies for Tina's. Mama T had just settled into the hot tub when Cheri came in and asked, "Got room for me in there?"

Mama T wondered, "Are you able to get in here? The heat and the bacteria…"

"I'm done worrying about all of that," Cheri said, taking off her bathrobe and climbing into the water, bikini clad. "I'll still try to take care of myself, but I'm tired of tiptoeing and missing out. I just want to enjoy whatever I have left. Live it to the fullest. No regrets." She settled in the water and took a deep breath.

She had so many bruises, Mama T was concerned that she might have gotten beat up last night. _Stevie wouldn't dare, but sometimes… This girl pushed his buttons on purpose…_ "Did everything get solved between you and Stevie?"

Cheri's face brightened and a huge smile formed on her face, "Yes. Thank you for asking." They were quiet for a moment, then Cheri wondered, "You knew about him and Bree, didn't you?" Mama T sighed and poured more wine into her glass. "It's cool," Cheri said. "I wouldn't have told me, either. That was Stevie's responsibility. But, we noted that you started hating her right around the time that they started their little… Whatever."

"I never understood how their thing works, so I couldn't say for sure that they were wrong. All I knew was that _I_ didn't like it and I surely didn't like that nobody was telling you." She shook her head, "And she thought she was slick. I don't care what she says, that girl was pregnant, and must have just gotten rid of it without telling anybody." Mama T took a sip of wine. "But Jake loves her - I can tell - and I guess they've reconciled. And since you and Stevie have too, I don't have any space for an opinion. It's nice to see you glowing, though."

Cheri smiled brightly. "I had an amazing night." She played The Carters' Everything is Love album and reached for her notepad, which had _My Last Days_ written on the front of it and her pink plume pen to start to write about the previous night. She had been pleasured, many times over, in a way that she never imagined she would ever experience, and told how beautiful and desirable and wonderful she still was, and she had gotten to the bottom of something that had been troubling her for weeks, now. She had the full story, from start to finish and topped off the night staring at the ceiling with some of her closest friends, singing Lemonade from beginning to end.

She started her morning with cuddles and a snugglefuck from her husband, a group shower, breakfast in bed, and a massage and now, she was chilling in the hottub with another one of her favorite people, writing in a notepad.

 _In the event that my life becomes a movie or a show… I want Bree to play me. Some other girl could play her. But, if she's not too old, she is the one that I would choose._

 _I keep thinking about this exchange that they told me about… Basically where things 'started' -_

 _Stevie: "With your hair like that, you look really pretty."_

 _Bree: "Because I look like your wife?"_

 _Stevie: "Nobody_ looks like _her. But, yeah - you certainly remind me of her."_

 _So, even though it hurt to be lied to, it was therapeutic to finally hear the truth and to basically… Bond closer with all of these people in one night than I have with any other group of people, ever. Jake and Stevie didn't really touch. I wanted them to AT LEAST kiss, but they were all like "That's my brother!" and treating me like some kind of pervert… Like… Ummm… EXCUSE ME - your dicks rubbed together more than a few times in certain acts (I got "double vag" and Bree got a double anal, we BOTH got a DP), but I'M in remiss for wanting to see a little kiss, with a little tongue?Why though?_ She laughed to herself and Mama T just glanced at her, but silently drank her wine and didn't bother her.

.

Mike, Cooper, Blaine and Bree set up the tents while Tina, Quinn, Kurt and Mercedes sunbathed and chatted. Well… Kurt was under a beach umbrella and slathered with sunscreen. He loved Hawaii… Hawaii did not love him so much. He got sunburned every time he visited and was determined each time that it would not happen again. As soon as the tents were finished, he intended to climb into his. Stacie was keeping an eye on the kids, wishing she could have went hiking with the guys, but knew that Dwight wanted a guys' day out type thing. But, this was also their last day here. She and Joe were flying out this evening to be back in time for church. Mercedes and Sam were leaving Sunday, after wherever they went to church while on the island.

She had had a very fun time here with all of them and wished that everyone still lived nearby. Even Quinn, if just for Beth to be around. That was such a bright and caring kid. Stacie imagined that she might have been as functional if she had a more positive mother. Not that she wasn't proud of who she was, but she envied that relationship. It made her want a daughter of her own even more. Spoiled nieces only went so far - she always had to return those.

Sheva, Charmaine and Blessing were cuddled up with Stacie on her beach blanket. They had to wait for an older person before they could go into the water with Tina and Quinn's girls. Stacie bought them shaved ice to try to keep them cool while the tents were built, because after that, then Bree and she would take them swimming.

Quinn and Tina were taking lots of photos, even called the older girls from the water to make sure they had even more photos of all of their little girls together, and all of the sisters. "Where the heck is Cheri today? She's missing all of the photos!" Tina complained.

Stacie asked Bree, "Was she feeling sick this morning?"

Bree shook her head, "She was feeling great. I think that she just wanted to enjoy that feeling, instead of wearing herself out, like she's been most of the trip." Mercedes made a little sound, but didn't say anything. Bree smiled and rounded up the younger girls to go swim. Stacie followed behind.

Blaine was reapplying more sunscreen on Kurt as he ate fruit and fanned himself. Cooper had managed to find some work to do from all these miles away, inside of the tent, on his laptop. Mercedes was showing off her braiding skills, putting everyone's hair up, one by one as the wind was now bothering them all. Tina wondered, as they watched the waves, "Quinn, did you get to speak with Stevie?"

Quinn shook her head, "I don't think that will ever happen. I can be tolerant and I can be civil, but I don't think I'll ever quite be _over_ what happened. No matter how many years have passed. I don't see it happening. I'm not Aphasia, or any of you. My heart and mind both don't know how to forgive like that. When someone touches me, touches my life in such a way - I don't think I can ever quite let it go." Tina rubbed her shoulder and rested her head on her.

.

Stevie kept Sterling in his arms nearly the whole hike. Bliss was passed around when he wasn't insisting that he walk himself. Joe had a hiking stroller for when they got too tired to carry them. Cowboy, Sherwood and Heaven kept running ahead and finding things to excitedly tell the others to come to look at. Joe would stop and explain what things were that he was familiar with and consult his book for ones that he wasn't sure about. Jake was on his phone, a lot, but also was the main one taking all of the photos of everyone. Stevie took a lot of photos of the kids, but not many more. Joe took photos of the sites. Dwight complained, "Y'all are always on your phones!"

Sam explained, "It's basically how this generation lives. You can use your phone for anything."

Stevie added, "While we've been on this hike, I've liked a dozen photos of Cheri and Mama T in the hot tub and countless others of the girls on the beach."

Dwight shook his head and laughed, "You can see all of that after you get back. I won't see them until."

Stevie complained, "I have to make sure that my likes and comments come before Hunter Clarington, or I'll never hear the end of it from Cheri's fanbase!"

Dwight commented, "That guy's a creep."

"Right?" Stevie said.

"What's the deal with him?" Sam wondered. Stevie shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. Sam frowned. _Stop pushing it._ "Whenever Jake first started coming around, I thought he had a thing for Mercy. I was kinda mean about it, too."

Jake shrugged his shoulders, "I did, so…" He laughed. "She got them cakes!"

"Single serving cakes. Those are mine," Sam said.

"She would never be able to handle me," Jake joked.

"Jake, don't talk like that about a man's wife!" Dwight warned. "A simple joke could easily erupt into something ugly. Lord help me if somebody said something like that about Nish..."

"I think Sam got that I was joking, Pop." Jake added, "Besides, it was a callback to a little inside thing we started this morning."

"You and Sammy have inside jokes?" Dwight asked, turning around, both surprised, a little pleased, but mostly confused.

"I understand that I have more than one brother," Jake said, brushing it off, before questions came up.

Sam smiled brightly, which made Stevie chuckle. "Doofus," he mumbled. Sam smiled even brighter, but he did wonder what Joe and Stevie were speaking about earlier. He tried to quietly ask Joe, but Joe said that it wasn't something that he could share. Stevie got counseling, or council… from _Joe?_ He was staring at Stevie talk quietly to Sterling, as he held him, but they both seemed to notice him at the same time and when they looked at him, he turned away.

In the late afternoon, they stopped to have a picnic on their hiking trail, before returning to the houses, then meeting the ladies and girls at the beach.

On the hike back, Jake wondered if his brother was still alive, would he be able to be as close with this family, or would he be torn because of his brother. Joe replied, "I know death may have warped my perception some, but I believe that if Noah were still alive, that would simply mean you would have an additional brother that you'd love as much as the brothers you now have. You might not see them all at once, but then again, maybe so. It's murky in the Stevie/Noah department, because of Quinn. And muddy in the Sam/Noah because of Mercy. But he'd definitely still spend time with you, just as he would still spend time with me. Who knows? Maybe, if he had survived, by now everything would be squashed and he'd be moved along with someone else, splitting custody of Beth; possibly even had more kids. I only ever imagine him finding true happiness whenever I think about what if he were still here. He would have had a blast with us, here. He was as happy to find you as he was when his daughter was born. He loved you from the moment he heard of you. You were his brother in the same sense that his younger sister that he had always known was, from the very second that he knew that you existed."

"You can gain new brothers," Jake said, "But never replace any. I'll always miss him…" Joe put an arm around Jake's shoulder. Stevie looked at Sam, whose head was down. They'd both heard Jake's declaration. Stevie was surprised that Sam didn't spontaneously look in his direction, though. Maybe he was trying to hold back. Stevie set Sterling down to let him walk. Cowboy took one of Sterling's hands and one of Sherwood's and escorted them on the trail back. Heaven asked, "Daddy, can I do that with you and Uncle Stevie?" He pointed at the boys ahead of them. Jake and Joe were right behind Dwight, then the three boys and Stevie reached for Heaven's hand, while Sam took the other one. "This is how family ought to always walk. This is nice." Heaven said. Stevie and Sam reflexively smiled at each other, then Stevie caught himself and looked away. Sam lingered a bit longer in the feeling and wearing the expression.

.

Their last supper of the reunion, they had dinner at Dwight's again - for the space. Everybody was sad that it was ending and making a bunch of promises that it would have to happen again sometime in the future. Cheri's eyes dimmed for the first time all day, but Stacie brightened her up with, "And there _may be_ more of us next time. Joe and I have been trying to have a baby!" Bree's eyes fell to the table. "I've been doing a little journal to take active steps to conceive."

Mercedes said, "And I'm doing that thing where I do the steps too. It was really helpful for me when Quinn and Tina were doing it. I'm doing the same for Stacie. See where it lands. The twins are 2 now, so it's a good time to start trying again."

Cheri huffed and folded her arms, "Ugh, I wish I could preggo team with y'all! Can barely get a period without feeling like I'm dying. So, even if the chemo wasn't poisoning my system, no baby would be able to function in this vessel."

Mama T rubbed her on the shoulder and asked, "You wanna borrow my vessel? I mean, I feel like five is enough, but if you're trying to fill a quota, I got you, Bae." Cheri laughed. "What's funny? Do you not know how fit I am? Everything here works, and we won't even need to utilize my timeless gushy to make it happen. They just plop it in and I hold on to it in my once only usage uterus..." Cheri started coughing, laughing. Bree handed her her water.

Cheri asked, "Don't you think that you should speak with Papa D before just signing on to host babies?"

" _Grandbabies_ and watch this - Hey, Dwight! Can I hold a baby for one of your kids?" Dwight furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "In my womb!" She clarified, pointing towards it. He still looked confused, smiled, shrugged his shoulders and threw up his hands, unsure of what to answer. "I'd incubate them for the nine months, give birth to them, then hand them over to the parents!"

"Sounds good, Baby. Whatever you wanna do," he called out.

"See? As long as his gushy isn't compromised, he's all in." Bree snorted. Mama T glanced at her.

"And what about you? Gonna be more careful, now?" Bree looked alarmed, and Mama T smiled, "You know, after your little _scare?"_

Bree tilted her head and said, "Well, I definitely will never be as shaken up if something happens in the future. Who knows? Maybe next time, I'll be completely ready for whatever happens. You might have yourself a biological grandbaby someday."

"There's no difference between them to me," Mama T said, rolling her eyes at Bree.

Jake cleared his throat and gave his mother a look, warning her to stop.

"Are you able to stop drinking alcohol for a full nine months?" Bree wondered, innocently. Mama T gave Jake a look back, pointed at Bree and told him, "You'd better get her…"

"What? What did I say something wrong?" Bree asked. "I thought that was the vibe, here. We say whatever pops in our heads and get a few chuckles, or is that just for you?"

"Bree." Jake said.

She looked at him, gathered up her plate, and left the table. Cheri and Jake got up, too, to go see about her. Jake said, "Thanks for taking it easy, Mom." Stevie watched them all go, but stayed at the table, looking at Mama T fuming. Dwight came over and kneeled by her, saying something in her ear and rubbing her back.

Quinn offered, "Mrs. Evans, for what it's worth, I think you are a wonderful addition to this family. You're the first one that was immediately lovable." Stacie raised her hand and Quinn shooed it, "Let's not be silly." Stacie and Joe both started laughing at Quinn's bluntness. Quinn returned to her accolades, "You're the first person to step up and be a motherly figure to Mercy after Emma was gone." Mercedes nodded her head, sadly. Quinn said, "It is _amazingly unbelievable_ to me that you were ever married to Puck's dad!"

"What's worst is that I married him _after_ I knew he was garbage."

"Why?" Tina asked.

"Because, at the time, I thought that marrying somebody damaged and helping to fix him was a real thing that people could do. It's not. You marry someone who wants to be better and is trying to be better and you help them to be better. But, if they're fine being who they are and content not to change, nothing you do will change them. If anything, you'll just run them off." She laughed and shrugged her shoulders, "Also, I had a feeling that I was pregnant and wanted to make sure that Jake was covered. He was… covered in name, at least." Dwight was frowning and Tanisha rubbed his cheek. "No more of this. Thank you, Quinn." She got up from the table, grabbed her drink and went outside, alone.

Some other conversations were happening at the table whenever Quinn got up, tapped Stevie on the shoulder and beckoned him from the table with her finger. He finished chewing, confused, wiped his mouth and followed her. They were standing out of earshot of everyone, but within their sight. "How are you?" She asked. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. Quinn Fabray literally never talked to him. Not one on one, anyway. "Let's presume that Sam has told me everything going on between the two of you, everything that happened at your house that weekend, the conversations between you and him that followed those events…" Stevie's face changed from confusion to frustration. "How are you?" She repeated.

"I'm fine," he said.

"That's cool. But, that's not great," she commented. Stevie simply shrugged his shoulders. "Once upon a time, I talked to this kid - told him that he and I were being idiots, because we'd been duped by the same people. This kid nodded, said he understood and then, what was it that happened a few hours later?"

Stevie's voice caught in his throat for a moment, "He was dragging somebody into a truck and you attacked him, so he hit you in the head and threw you into the truck, too."

"Every time I see him, I think about that moment. The hours that followed, the hours that preceded it. And, some part of me says, _I know that isn't the same kid, but it is just another version of him and I can't let that go.."_

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm not done." He shut his mouth. "I know that you're sorry and I know that you aren't the same, but that doesn't separate in my mind what happened between us. So, I _get_ how you feel about Sam. I understand. You are entitled to that feeling. You should handle your emotions however is best and healthiest for you…" He stared at her in confusion. "If you thought that I was going to tell you that you should forgive Sam and you should let him back in, you just don't know me very well. Everyone's emotions are valid and the only person's feelings and thoughts that you have to live with at the end of the day is your own. I'll never tell you to feel some other way, even if that is what everyone else says, even feeling the way about you that I feel about you. But, at the same time, I was going to let Sam be killed. It took your sister years to forgive me that. I betrayed my friends. It took them months to miss me after that. I betrayed people that I loved and I did things to people that I care about that still make me feel a certain way towards myself, to this day. I'm forever trying to make sure that Beth grows into her own woman because I don't want her to model herself after me, even though I love who I have become. People forgave me, along the way. Even when I couldn't forgive myself. Stacie forgave me. Sam forgave me. Mercy and Tina forgave me. Joe forgave me…"

"So you _are_ saying that you think I should forgive Sam."

"No. I'm saying that people forgave me. I think some people forgave you too."

"You can't, though."

"I can. I don't _resent_ you. I just… associate you with something terrible. So, that's another thing entirely. I respected the fact that when my daughter was interested in following you and I had reservations about it that you sat down with her and told her the reasons that I didn't approve and answered her questions. I could tell that you were different. I could tell that you meant us well. The anxiety that I have around you is not because of who you are, but because of what happened. If you decide that you never want to have anything else to do with Sam because of what happened, that makes perfectly good sense. But, between you and me… Is it because of that, or because of who he is?"

"I love him. I love who he is. I understand him, sometimes. But, I can't leave room in my life for what happened to happen again. You… are the first person who seems to understand it."

"No. I'm the first person who isn't biased towards you or towards him. I have about the same level of detachment to both of you," she joked. Cheri came from around the corner, saw them and smiled brightly at Stevie, before hooking a left and rushing off. "That… Was odd."

"To be honest, not to me. I get to spend the next few nights with her shipping this." He waved a finger between the two of them

"Gross," Quinn commented.

"Thank you." She shook her head. "I mean… Thank you for this conversation. Sam's lucky to have a friend like you."

"We're not friends," she said, and walked off, smiling, feeling accomplished that she was able to even speak with him for that long without being nervous.

.

Stacie, Joe, Mercedes, and Sam left Hawaii Saturday evening, for Ohio. Dwight and Nisha were leaving for Tennessee Sunday afternoon. Bree and Jake were going back to New York Sunday night, when Stevie and Cheri went back to Ohio.

Saturday night - Rachel, Finn, the Hudson-Hummels, the Berrys and Shelby and Shannon flew in for part two of a reunion. (Tina and Kurt were close enough and Tina and Quinn were close enough that Kurt's in-laws were an extension of their family), and technically with Quinn being seriously involved with Cooper, Blaine was kind of her brother-in-law twice over. The Andersons weren't going to make it, but Quinn and Kurt usually did Thanksgivings and Christmases with them, anyway, so there was not much need of a reunion.

Dwight and Tanisha were able to do a Hawaii double date with Shelby and Shannon, who sailed them around on a boat that she bought after she sold Coach's, and Tina took care of for her when she wasn't on the island. Nisha had not yet really had much time around Hiram and Leroy Berry, but fell in love with them when she did and exchanged information with them so that when she was in New York to see Jake, she could get together with a few people in her age bracket. They had lunch with all of the older couples while the "kids" hung out. Babs was really sad that she had missed Sam's kids, but she was coolest with Cowboy, out of all of the Evans' kids anyway, so she was stoked to be able to spend a little bit of time with he and his siblings, along with Quinn's.

Jake and Bree had Stevie's kids while he and Cheri spent time together and the older folks (Leroy, Hiram, Carol, Burt, Shannon, Shelby, Dwight and Nisha) had their "Senior Bash," as Bree called it. They were still at Quinn's beach house, where all of the newcomers had come in and offered to keep the rest of the kids too, since they had already been there a weekend and Rachel and Finn hadn't.

Dwight and Nisha left, and Stevie and Cheri emptied out the beachhouse, and turned in the keys for them, spending the rest of their time out in the sun, until it was time for their flight and Bree and Jake and the kids met up with them to all go to the airport.

All of the Evans were gone by Sunday night, and the other side of the family began their week's worth of Hawaii fun.

.

Upon getting back, Mercedes was extremely tired, but in the highest spirits that she had been in, in such a long time. Sam and she had many conversations about other conversations and how they felt about things. She felt like she had her best friend back. She felt like she had her entire family back. It was bittersweet to remember that they didn't get a chance to all spend time together like that anymore. It used to be so often. Always at each other's for even the smallest of events and here recently, it hadn't even been going down with the folk who were in town. They kept making all kinds of promises to do better. Yeah, right.

They got a bit of sleep, got up in time to make it to the second church service - Stacie and Joe had pushed through to go ahead and make it to the earlier one, too. After church, the four and the kids stopped at POM to have lunch and pick up the dogs from Lauren, then headed back home. "After every trip, we should plan to sleep for like… at least two days. I am so exhausted, now that we aren't running around in the sun!" She told him.

"Mama, I wanna go to the beach," Heaven said.

"The beach is far, far away, Bumblebee," Sam said.

Heaven held out his hands, "Can we go?"

Sam snorted, "Ummm… Not right now. It's too far. You just spent a whole week on the beach."

"Is the beach over, _forever_?" He wondered, bothered.

"For right now," Sam said. Heaven looked disappointed, sighed, and left the room. Sam and Mercy both started laughing. "He is not feeling me right now!" Sam told her.

"You let him get comfortable at that beach! He thought this was our new life."

"How do you explain a vacation to a four year old?" He grabbed his phone to Google it and saw a number of missed calls. "Huh. Who is this?"

He checked his voicemail and heard an unfamiliar voice, "You have no idea how far out and how deep inside we can reach." Sam shook, and his breathing became heavy. He looked over at Mercedes, seemingly at peace and tried not to alarm her, but she could hear that something wasn't right.

"Sam, what's happening?" She asked.

"Hang on a minute…" He checked the other messages. They were all different voices, from different area codes (probably burners or pay phones) and they all said the same thing - the same motto that he had not heard in so many years. He understood Stevie's description of memories flooding back. He recalled everything that was done to Matt's family up through the murders. He recalled everything that was done to Mercy's friends before Emma's stabbing and the murders of Kim Cohen-Chang and Noah Puckerman. He recalled and he saw his own family, flashing before his eyes. "They've contacted me. I'm targeted." She sat up suddenly and reached out for him. He hugged her and rubbed her hair, "It's okay. It's okay…"

"It is _not_ okay. You don't have Matt anymore. You don't have help or backup!"

"It's okay." He cupped her face and kissed her. "Just… We'll just have to get ready to relocate and keep an eye on the kids."

"And Stevie and Cheri, AND Stacie and Joe, AND Papa D and Mama T, AND…"

"Please, stop. Babydoll. I promise… We'll be alright." He got up, to collect the children and put them back into the room with Mercedes and call the police, then try to call everybody in the family, while checking out of the window to see if he saw anything suspicious. _Oh, God…_ It was what he had feared. It was why he wanted to stay out of their way. There had only been reprieve, but apparently, now he had crossed them or did something to anger them and stir them up. He was not only on their radar, but they had launched an attack. He knew better than most what it meant to have to hear those words even once, but tenfold? And from so many different numbers… With area codes from locations of where his widespread loved ones were? Sam started crying as he tried to call Stevie, but it went to voicemail, "Stevie! Please, call me as soon as you can. They've contacted me. They said the line. Let me know that y'all are safe."


	28. The Room Where it Happens

_So, y'all know that I am a lover of Hamilton and also that Jane is, so I figured that since this is a Jane chapter, I'd use this title. Things to note: There is a little bit of rewind in this chapter, but at the end, we should be right where we left off with Sam receiving the White Sheets' threatening calls._

 _Also note: Madonna as in The Black Madonna, not that aged sour cream that we saw it for in the 80s who is always tripping over her own bullshit, calling her son nigger and other such heaux shit. She had some bops, but was never on Janet's level and certainly Beyonce ain't "learn" from her. Lemme shut up before I get pissed off._

 _Check out mysamcedesmadness blog on tumblr (Does this site let me say that? They blot out the payment site) for FCs of Evans kids, Rutherfords, Mercy's parents, Phai's parents, and other writing inspo aesthetics and such for the story._

 **The Room (Where It Happens)**

She cried, a lot. She wasn't really a woman who cried very often, not even when she was pregnant with the twins, but she still blamed current her tears on the hormones. Well, that and the PTSD, she supposed. But, admitting that was also having to face the trauma. And as smart and as brave as she was considered… That was not an option. She peeked into people's lives, anonymously. It took a huge portion out of her to not call Cheri when she found out that she was sick. It took daily discipline not to go home just to check on her, and make sure that she was doing okay. She shaved all of her hair off, in unknown solidarity. Mason was growing his out, but she thought that might be depression growth, because he wasn't shaving his face, either.

They fled Lima quickly. Jane's mother hired movers to pack up and transfer their things to a storage area near one of her New York properties used for getaways and work assignments whenever she had to go to the city to speak at engagements or make an appearance. As an academic, Mrs. Hayward spent a lot of time travelling and thought about leaving Ohio for good a number of times, but most of her family was still there or returned there to settle. She figured that perhaps Jane would eventually need to take a journey of her own, even after school to go see the world and determine if she wanted to ever set up for good in Ohio… She had no idea that it would be this way. To be clear, Mrs. Hayward wanted Jane to bring everything that she had to the authorities and change her identity. They had the means for that to work out. Jane reminded her that these boys "got off when they were nobodies," and now, they were both public figures with huge followings. Jane was involved with and connected to various public figures, including both of her parents, her grandparents on her father's side and other family members, like Madison, as a choreographer and Matt's camp on various platforms…

But, she herself was already getting backlash for the incident with Andrea, whether from fellow black people who blamed her for getting Andrea killed or from others who believed she should have been killed too, because they thought cops should kill negroes for any and everything under the sun.

Once upon a time, she would have took Sam Evans, Stevie Evans, whoever Evans, whoevans, whorevans' asses to the carpet. She would have let them know straight up that they don't scare her and that they had a fight on their hands. She would have turned that evidence in with a smile on her face and deuces on her fingertips. The past four years, raising children and watching Mason revel in his daddyhood to the point that he was even willing to give up his family for their pro-white ideologies; it would have been selfish for her to run into that danger. She wasn't as concerned about her own safety (though she felt weak about her triggers to police brutality, even though that was a normal part of PTSD). Her greatest concern was _What if they hurt my kindred to hurt me?_ And at the point that she left, she couldn't say for sure what these people were capable of. She had just been studying the life of Jesse St. James for weeks and that guy was considered a far cry different from who Sam and Stevie said he was, from who they found on the tapes. For all she knew, Stevie was better at the ghost skin shit than he was at hunting them down and if that was the case and if he and Sam were killers and most of their closest friends conspirators to their murderous ways - she couldn't risk Mason like that, Mace, Mage, the newly found out fighter inside of her, pushing through all of the last few months' trauma like it was brunch.

They went on an island cruise, spent some time in the Caribbean, ventured to Europe and she became a hermit. It wasn't nearly as lively, but she was concerned about trying to be pregnant during hurricane season in the Caribbean, with everything else troubling her mind and had been telling Mason for years that she was going to take him to Italy and France, for fun instead of the dance troupes that he'd been taken to see and compared to Madison when she was in Germany on tour. This seemed as good a time as any and telling the children that they were taking a break because they had a fight with Uncle Stevie and bad people were near home who might hurt them worked out easier for them because it was summer and they usually at least took a small vacation each year, anyway. Now, it was just a long one that they were hoping the children would enjoy so much that they would not think about home and their friends as much.

Jane had seen photos of all of the children she had come to love and miss, desperate to like them or to save them. One was a photo of her, Cheri, all their girls for "TBT to when my friend, my sister, my kindred brought me and my daughters to an all black women and girls retreat for racial health and self affirmation. #IMissYouSoMuchJane #ImSorryForMyWrongs #McEvansForLife" Many of the comments were questions about where Jane was, what had happened, declarations that she was her favorite friend on *insert reality show,* and speculations about where she might be. Mostly, it was presumed that Cheri had not been supportive through her run in with the police (Cheri was never vocal about such things and often criticised, having activists for a husband and associates) and some Jane supporters even lashed out at Cheri for this. Cheri patiently explained, "The loss of Andrea Cohen, and the attack on our friends by the NYPD has been extremely emotional and difficult for our family and friends. We have all taken to coping in various ways and for the time being, many of us are simply spending less time together as we work through our own feelings."

Jane asked her mother, "Is Dad mad at me for running away, instead of fighting?"

"No. He understands keeping your family safe. He's a little bit disappointed that you ever trusted these people… More in Matthew than he is in you, but I he seems to have enough to spread around. I think that if you could just talk to Matthew, he would fix this. After the hell that he gave Champ and Rhadja when Cheri was in that institution, I would think that he would be all over this thing."

"He's ill, Mom. He's getting some help and I don't know if I reach out to him, _if_ he will be able to do something, or if that will just make things harder on him. He lost a lot that day, too."

Whenever she found out about the live airing of Blind Leading, featuring Matt, she couldn't resist watching. She missed him. She missed _them_. When he asked her to come home, she cried for hours, and didn't stop until Mason came home and had heard about her call. He was furious. _Why would she call? Why did she care so much about these people who no longer cared about her?_ He regretted saying that. She felt worst, even though she stopped crying to sit in angered silence. He apologized repeatedly, tried to give her a massage, go to her favorite places, whatever he could to take her mind off of what he knew that she was thinking of...

"I want to go back," she eventually said.

They had been exploring Europe and splurging on the children. She even was looking into what she could find for the optimal birthing experience, while in Paris. But then, Matt asked her, practically begged her to come home and there was nothing else that she could think about. Mason was not feeling that idea, at all. "Think about Madonna," he told her, and held her at her little baby bump. She wanted to be able to raise her children near where she was raised, surrounded by her family and if she would ever have any again, her friends.

"I'm thinking about all of them. I resolved before I ever had children that I would teach them to do what was right and what was smart. I wasn't well when we left. I needed to sort myself out. I needed to regroup. I wanted them to know that it's okay to not always be the strongest you, but it's not okay to run forever. It's not okay to let someone drive you out. I'll be smart about it. I won't be careless. If at any moment, any of you seem to be in danger, I'll send you away."

"We don't want to be away from you!" He sighed, "Is that your way of telling me that you're going back, whether or not I support it or come with you?"

"That was my way of telling you that we're going back, and if I'm wrong, you'll have every right to take the kids and leave me."

Mason shook his head and stroked her face, "I would never do that to you. I wouldn't do that to this family. You're a part of me. I'll just have to protect you, since you're not being very wise about doing it yourself.."

The trip back to Ohio was quiet between she and Mason, though the scions were so extremely happy to be going home. She explained that they couldn't be in the parade, as previously planned, but made it sound sweeter, because they would be able to sit with Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Julius. They would have to leave after the parade, but at least they would get goodies. She was going to give them huge bags to catch stuff in.

De'Wanda was the first person that she had contacted. "Hey… Did they tell you what happened?"

"Yeah. I'm glad you called. I been missing you and wanting to see you so bad. I wasn't around, so you know that I had nothing to do with all of that. Do you wanna meet up?"

The scions were dropped off at their grandparents' until Mason could confirm Jane's safety.

He was the final voice on any plans that they were making. She was relieved when he decided that they could go to the parade, as long as they were hidden. De'Wanda told them about the masks that the non-descendants of slaves would be wearing. "No reason we can't get Jane one too. For all they'll know, she could be an African immigrant with no ties to the chattel slavery our ancestors lived through…" She brought them over to the house that they were staying in, along with Jane's things. As a partial partner in the FortSWAH merchandising, De'Wanda had access and power over production, even in the volatile situation where Jane abandoned it all for months.

Initially, whenever Jane had began it and people wanted to be able to buy products and stuff - Jane was still at the business solutions firm, working for Ruthless, and venturing out into her own projects, as usual. She wasn't sure if she could take on more responsibility. De'Wanda generally handled a lot of the merchandising and marketing for Matt, so she offered to help her out and they wound up constantly working on it together, until it was their company. Jane looked at the shirt with Andrea's face on it and started crying. De'Wanda pulled her into a hug, "You know, she never would have blamed you for that. For the pigs doing what they do? Attacking and aggressing, whether you were in Ohio or New York, nobody should have even one run in with them be like that, but you already had one and people who never even have one, they sometimes be breaking down too when they see them lights flashing. You had just found out you were having a baby, was on your way to see a play you had been wanting to see for years, and just trying to enjoy your life. They decided to try to steal that joy and to take a life."

She wiped her eyes, "I read that they can't find the officer for trial. What the hell? Did he skip town? Do we have anybody searching for him?"

"Well… He disappeared, seemingly without a trace… Like some of the others that we talked about before…" She let the statement wander. Andrea had been cracking jokes in the office that Stevie must have been "snatching them boys up and makin' 'em disappear," since he had them all on ghost skins watch, but they literally went ghost. Now, with how things were looking, the last image that De'Wanda wanted to paint for Jane was one of Stevie being able to just make people disappear!

Jane got it, but she also offered, "Well, I can try to see if I can dig up anything on it - in case he's trying to avoid his justice for what he did to A.C."

"Not that we thought he'd get it. _If_ he's in the ocean somewhere, we got more justice than the courts would have given him."

.

Jane wore a lengthy black dress with long sleeves and her ForSwah crop top to display her bump and one of the black masks. Whenever she saw Stevie, she nearly had a panic attack. She recognized him right away. She knew his build, his hair, and mostly, his rings. She clutched Mason's arm and froze. "He'll recognize me!" She said. "You were right. We shouldn't have come."

He rubbed the small of her back and assured her pointing his forehead at her belly, "He won't recognize you like that," but he pulled his long hair into a ponytail, just in case something popped off. And of course, something did…

De'Wanda kept Jane close, in case she needed her support. When that Nazi swung at them, De'Wanda had the mind to attack him herself, but Stevie beat her to it. She got Jane away from the ruckus as Mason went to help keep those troglodytes away from the parade… but in an instant, seeing Stevie down, and virtually defenseless, Mason grabbed his hands and dragged him out of their reach, even getting hit a few times in the process; he elbowed his way clear and when the police neared; he and Stevie took off running. Stevie was holding himself, in pain and he was also bleeding. Mason couldn't say anything. He might not recognize his profile with the beard, or his head full of long hair, not even apparently his body build (though truth be told, he had lost a lot of weight)... Stevie had no idea who he was. He rushed away and lost him to get back to Jane. "You helped him," she said.

"It was a reflex. We spent so much time having each other's backs."

"I wasn't attacking. But, what if he recognized you?"

"He didn't. He didn't even seem to find me remotely familiar." Mason didn't know if he was hurt, insulted, angry, or _what_ about that. They used to call each other "brother." He held him when he cried. They leaned on each other, fought side by side and in addition to threatening his wife, he didn't even know him when he very possibly saved his life? _Angry._ He was angry about it. But, his wife and baby were still safe and that was what really mattered.

.

Matt and Mason arranged the meeting at a venue in Ohio. It would have been elsewhere, but Matt informed them that every Evans would be in Hawaii this particular weekend and they didn't have to worry or hide. Jane confirmed that information Internet stalking her former friends.

Matt greeted Jane with the warmest hug, while Mason simply waited, wearing a scowl. Aphasia asked, "Wanna leave them some space?" He looked at her like she was out of her mind. "Mason…You know that we don't mean Jane any harm…"

"I don't know that! I don't know what any of your intentions are."

"Just to be crew again. We love Jane and you and the kids…"

"That was the general consensus the first time. You know, when your partner in action threatened her life right in front of your face, in your front yard, after you invited her to your home to talk, just like this."

"Stevie was as much your partner in action as mine, so don't make this like my black ass had any control over what he did or said. There were plenty of times that I talked his ass down off of some dumb shit. Meanwhile, how many fights did he get into while you supposedly had his back? You were with his ass the night that he got fucked up by the cops and Cheri left his ass, so don't come in here all high and mighty with your hipster facial hair talking to me like any of this shit is my fault." He just sighed. "I'll go make us some tea. I don't have any of your raspberry hibiscus, but would you like a raspberry mint?" He nodded, and she left.

Oblivious to their spouses' little heated exchanged, Matt reached out and touched the baby bump. "Did you know when you left?"

"I found out the day AC died. I was saving the news for Mason, since I was so far away, at the time. Then, I didn't say anything to everyone else, because I was so stressed out that I didn't expect her to still be moving along. But, she's half Hayward, so I should have known she'd fight it out with me…"

"Another girl! Congratulations."

"We're calling her Madonna _Jane,_ (spelled D-J-A-N-G-E or Django, with an E),the first - of course."

"Of course," he couldn't stop smiling.

"I know, the G & N should be switched for the G to be silent, like in champagne, but that didn't look right for her name, and who's going to check me?"

"Your mom isn't?" He joked, "She sure checked me at the festival, for renewing ties with Stevie, even though we technically still aren't working together."

"But you're friends."

"We are. I can't imagine a world now where we aren't."

"I couldn't, either. But, things changed. Do… you have anyone in my old space?"

"Not a soul. Your things haven't even been touched."

"If I were to come back to Ruthless Revolutionaries, could you assure me that I wouldn't have to see him?"

"He's not there. I told you, we aren't actually still working together. But, I think you two should talk. Give you a chance to get everything off of your chest."

"Absolutely not!" Mason snapped.

Jane smiled and said, "One of the things I agreed to before we came back to the US was not to go anywhere near Stevie until Madonna was safely delivered."

Matt looked at Mason, "I saw what you did for him. That didn't seem like the actions of a man who doesn't trust him."

"You don't have to trust someone to not want to see them get beaten to death on the street by a bunch of angry Nazis. It was a momentary lapse in judgement. He'd just defended Jane. But, he didn't know it was her and he didn't know that I was me." His voice lowered, "He didn't even recognize me." _Which apparently, Matt had… or De'Wanda had told him who they were… Or, maybe he had noticed him with Jane…_ Aphasia returned with tea for everybody. Mason went on to say, "They're in Hawaii right now living their best life. Jane can hardly sleep at night. There's no way I let her anywhere near him. She nearly lost it seeing him from a distance." He folded his arms and shook his head.

Aphasia said, "I don't know how I would feel if one of my best friends threatened somebody I love with all my heart, so I can't judge you. But, Mason - please, look at _us_ , and see _us_. Believe us when we say that nothing is going to happen to Baby Jane on our watch. Or to Baby Madonna."

"Why does Sam Evans always get a pass on everything? Why didn't you press charges? Why didn't you sue him?" Mason wondered.

"It wasn't worth it. I just wanted to heal and get some help with the breakdown."

"If you had kept your distance in the first place, there would have been nothing to heal from," Mason said.

"Hey…" Jane called to him. "Please, don't victim blame him. You've seen me be on the receiving end of that for months now, just with this incident, alone."

"Just… Promise her that she doesn't have to deal with any Evans, or we walk. Simple as that," Mason concluded to Matt.

Matt promised, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you still want to go after Sam, I'm not going to try to stop you, but Stevie would be the person to talk to about that."

Mason got up, frustrated with Matt for trying to press this come to Stevie talk issue, "Jane, let's go."

She held up her finger to him and asked Matt, "What do you mean?"

"Sam gave Stevie proof. Stevie's sitting on it, wondering what he should do about it."

"Stevie would never give his brother up. That's why things went down the way that they did."

"I'm telling you...Stevie is not here for Sam like he was. It seems like with the combined stress of running you off and Sam attacking me, he couldn't emotionally afford to keep backing Sam up. He didn't make any official announcement, but he basically disowned the man. This Hawaii trip is the first time they'll be together in the last couple of months. But, before he left, he told me that Sam gave him something that destroy him. He asked me what I thought that he should do with it. I simply told him to keep me out of it. Fuck Sam Evans. That's my stand. I want you here and near. I'll keep Stevie away from you, if that is what I need to give you to have you back home, and Sam is not in any way, shape, or form to be anywhere myself or my family is."

Jane looked up at Mason and he sighed and rubbed a hand down his face before looking at her again. "If you get everything in writing, they foot the protection around the house, and the Evanses verify that they will honor his wishes." Jane looked at Matt again and Matt reached out his hand to her, to shake it, then Mason's hand. "And if you stay out of their mess!" He added on, for Jane.

"Trust me, I wish I never met these people."

.

Matt sent Stevie an email with the contract in it to sign and get Sam to sign agreeing to keep completely away from Jane, Mason, their children and a certain distance away from them, in the event that they wound up in the same place. He mentioned that they had been at the parade and told him who they were at the parade, and followed up with the fact that they were in Ohio, had sat down and talked with him and he, Matt personally, was asking him this one favor to sign this contract and to also get Sam to sign.

Stevie frowned and felt heavy hearted. He wasn't sure why the thought of Mason and Jane being back meant to him that he could get them back. As Cheri had told him whenever it came up, _everybody isn't like her._ He got really used to being able to backtrack on his impulses and be forgiven. That was one of he and Cheri's major love languages. Jane was something else altogether and Mason, while normally 100% love, compassion, and forgiveness, drew the line any time it was Jane on that line.

Joe asked, "Are you okay?"

Stevie glanced around, they seemed to be alone, so he slid his phone to Joe. Joe read the email and nodded his head, "I can see why that would upset you, but believe it or not, this sounds like a small step in the right direction."

"This just reminds me that I threatened somebody's life over… something that I don't even know how important it is to me."

"Do you want to vent, or do you want to converse?" Joe asked.

"Actually, this time, I wonder what you have to say about things. I'm told that you know… Well… everything that happened."

"That, I do…" Stevie looked almost frantic, even though he was simply sitting there. Joe handed him back his phone and said, "I never got a chance to get to know Jane, but I knew her parents. They've put a lot of money into Shane's community center, they've assisted with building funds and other philanthropic assignments that I was involved in. Whenever they mention her, it is always like they're speaking of someone else's creation. Because, whether or not they birthed her and raised her, she always, to me seemed like her own person. She made her own decisions. She didn't take most advice. She lived her life for Jane, and that was a life of being very vocal, going after what she wants and fighting for what she believes in. She ran away. I remember thinking - that doesn't seem like her. But, I also remembered that she has children and a family to think about. To her, it seems like even though she wants to be a part of these great things and do all this great work, she is focused first on her family. For her, that is Mason and their children. For you, that is Cheri and your children. But, for many years, that was also Sam. You aren't going to just be able to decide one day that he is no longer included. Uprooting him will be a lengthy process and hard work. Only you can decide if what you lose or what you gain is worth that type of energy. Sometimes, it is. Whenever I counselled addicts, it was always worth the work and the energy. But, whenever I spoke to people who were in love and trying not to be, sometimes, it was - if the relationship was toxic, but sometimes, it was just them reacting to their own hurt feelings in a way that actually made life harder for themselves. I don't know enough about what is happening inside of you to know where you are in this, but I am always here for two or three cents, if you ever need a little change."

Stevie nodded his head, "I knew all that about Jane. I get it. I understand. I just wish that I could make her see how I felt, at the time and right now. I know if there was a way to do that, she would understand and she would forgive me."

Joe tilted his head and said, "In that way, you and your brother are just alike. Sam has been battling with that very same conundrum, as it relates to you."

"That's different. I hurt Jane one time, and never will again. Sam's echo is in everything bad that ever happens in my world. That's a _mild_ exaggeration. From the time I was a kid, up through the shit that happened with Hank, and the years I spent in institutions, the ones that I've tried to exist in the real world. It is almost like in The Grudge when she realizes that she's been carrying this spirit around the whole time and it is now coming for her.I think if I could show Jane how I feel, she would understand. But, I also wish I could show Sam how I feel. I wish that he could feel this way, instead of me."

"It sounds like a terrible experience. Are you sure that you would wish that on Sam?"

"He should be the one to have to feel this way. This is his work in motion. He left a legacy, long before he ever had kids…" Sam walked in and Stevie shut up. Joe offered a smile. Neither one of them would mention this topic to Sam for the rest of the trip.

.

Whenever Sam noticed the calls from the white sheets, he only knew that he wanted to make sure that everyone else was safe. By now, everyone should be home. They had gotten back, went to church, chilled with Stacie and Joe, and started unpacking. Some time had passed, to the point that Sam thought that perhaps the group was waiting until everyone else made it home, but literally NOBODY was responding to his calls! These damned kids and their social media. They probably were ignoring calls while browsing all over their timelines and dashboards! He gathered up his family into the room, looked outside and was leaving messages. Waiting on the police was stressful, but he didn't want to go out there and possibly have somebody outside waiting to attack while he had three small children and a blind woman to defend.

"Hellooooo?" Joe answered.

"Joe! Where are you and Stacie?"

"At my parents' house. They were eager to see us tonight. My mom had some type of dream and she thought it was a vision and asked us to come spend the night here. She was pretty sure that something terrible is going to happen tonight... What's wrong?"

"Stay there. If I can, I'll get Mercy and the kids there and then go check on Stevie. I'm with your mom. Usually, hearing that phrase one time, it meant that wheels were in motion to start picking apart and destroying the target. They left me like 30 of the same message…"

"What are you talking about, Sam?" He heard Stacie in the back asking questions and could imagine Joe trying to put a hand up to ask her to be quiet.

"The White Sheets, White Coats, Ghost Skins, WHATEVER you want to call them. The Brotherhood, whoever it is that Schuester used to work with or for… They're coming for us."

Joe asked, "Why would they, after all of this time?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure, but I got calls from all over the place. Hawaii, Washington, New York… You and Stacie need to try to check on everybody and let them know and tell them what's happening… And somebody call Matt. I don't know. I don't know if he might be roped into this."

"I'm on it." Joe was telling Stacie as he hung up, "Sam needs us to call…"

He saw the flashing lights of the police and he sighed with relief. At least, they were safe for a possible escort to the Harts' place. He opened the door for the police, explained the situation and the condition of his wife and children and asked that they be taken to Joe's parents' address for safety. Meanwhile, he still couldn't get through to Stevie or Cheri and promised Mercedes that he would do his best to be okay, "I _have to_ go check on my baby brother! I'm sorry, Babydoll. I love you, okay? I love you. I'm gonna do my best to come back, okay?" She was crying and shaking her head, nearly having a panic attack, but trying to hold it together for the kids. They were even more scared and didn't understand most of the words that their parents were saying to each other.

Sam got into his truck and headed for Stevie's house. He heard his phone buzz and went to grab it, in case it was Stevie or Cheri or someone else checking in to let him know that they were okay. It was Cheri. He sighed and answered the phone, "Cheri! Oh my God! I've been trying to reach you for…"

"She couldn't come to the phone," he heard a voice say. "You lied to me."

"Mr. Dunham? Look… Rick… Whatever you're planning on doing, don't do it. Your quarrel is with me. I'm the one that told you that you could get out of the life and I'm the one that was dishonest with you. Give me a chance to get there and…"

"It's too late," he said and hung up Cheri's phone. Sam slammed on the gas, and hoped that he could get to the house before Rick took Cheri elsewhere, or… even worse than that. He called the police again, to report what had just been said and try to send them to Stevie's house, wondering helplessly, if somebody was able to get to Cheri… Where the hell was Stevie, and knowing Stevie and everything he was willing to do for his family, already fearing the worst.


	29. The Rampage

_A b* #h been crying all week writing this violent chapter and character death. Every time it's time for one, I die a little bit myself. This is honestly probably the most painful one that I have written in a while, if not ever. Okay, maybe not, since I kill folk off, but definitely this hurt my entire soul from start to finish. For that reason, the next few ones might come out slowly, because it's been so painful writing these things happening to our family. At any rate… Thanks for your patience._

 **The Rampage**

Dwight was in the bathroom, finishing up his pre-bed routine in the mirror, with a pair of boxers that likely were going to be off in a few, if Nisha wasn't too tired. She said that she was getting herself "a glass" of wine before bed. If she was just going to have one, and not come back with an ice bucket with a bottle in it, he might as well go to sleep. But if she had the bucket, that meant she wasn't sleepy yet and that always meant "gushy." Not like he needed it every night, but it was nice to always be wanted/welcomed, especially by such a beautiful woman, and having her, as well as trusting that she was here out of love… He smiled just thinking about his fortune. That's what she was to him - a treasure... He heard a gunshot, a scream, a crash… and immediately rushed to grab his shotgun and his phone to check it out.

He made the call and reported the gunshot as he checked the house, carefully making his way to the kitchen with the shotgun ready. He saw the bucket, spilled ice, and blood, "Nish?" He rushed to her and she was holding herself, with her face distorted in pain. "My wife _has been_ shot. I don't know.. The side, or the ribs… I can't tell…" He reached for her tank, and checked the wound, "Her ribs!" He assessed the kitchen, trying to see if her attacker was around. The operator had told him to stay in the bedroom unless he could get out of the house, but he'd informed her that he was going to find his wife to make sure she was safe. She wasn't…

"Maybelle," Tanisha said.

Dwight faced her, suddenly. "She's here?" He looked around the room, trying to peer outside into the darkness. It looked like there was movement out there.

"Bitch shot me…" Now, Dwight was furious. The only reason that he even kept up communication with her, out of all of Mary's family was because Stacie adored her.

Dwight told the operator who she was, then tried to follow instructions about the gunshot while they waited for the police and ambulance. A window broke and a bottle with a flame flew into the kitchen, which caused Tanisha to scream. Dwight quickly collected it and threw it out.

"That… looks like Klan." He moved Tanisha, quickly, staying low, to set her against the kitchen island, away from the window. "Try to keep pressure on this. If they throw anything else in, try to crawl into the next room, and stay hidden. Do your best to keep from crawling outside, but not if it catches fire or there's too much smoke."

"Where are _you_ going?" She asked, horrified.

"I have to try to fight them off. They're surrounding the house and I can't just let them at you!"

"Dwight, Baby no. Please…" He gave her a kiss, but it didn't stop her pleading. "Dwight, you can't. Let's try to get out, together…"

"They'll catch us with you like this. If I'm out there, you might have a better chance of eluding them. I'll take down who I can and hold off who I can."

"You know my world would be wrecked without you, right?"

He grabbed the shotgun, told her, "You are my world. There's nothing without you. Stay safe…" and went outside while she cried and held herself.

.

Rick Dunham hung up Cheri's phone and went into her bathroom, where she was in the bathtub, soaking and listening to some of that hippity hop garbage (she was listening to The Carters again), with an eye mask on her face, sweating out some stuff and laying back on a bath pillow. Rick thought about knocking her laptop into the tub, but that wouldn't be like in the movies. Probably wouldn't hurt her too bad, and Stevie Evans wouldn't be able to see it happen.

Feeling someone over her, she asked, "You watching me like a creeper all night, or you gonna come in and give me my vitamin D?" After a long pause, she took off her mask and looked around the empty room. He had definitely been in there!

She climbed out of the tub and grabbed a bathrobe and her phone. Damn, Sam called a lot. She was going to call him back when someone grabbed her and she dropped the phone. "Rick, she's right here!" The someone whispered, covering her mouth.

"In front of him," the one called Rick said. "I'm gonna figure out where all those kids are…" She squealed and tried to fight the person holding her and was giving him a pretty hard time, until Rick began to choke her. She fought him as much as she could before becoming light-headed, then he dropped her slumping body back into his associate's arms. "We don't want her unconscious, but get your shit together. If you can't fight an anemic cancer bitch, how you gonna handle Evans?" She was still conscious and being dragged, but not as able to fight him off.

Stevie and Cowboy were finishing up cleaning the living room when the guy came in, holding Cheri, with a knife to her throat.

Cowboy yelped and Stevie turned and held up his hands, "Let my son go, and we can talk."

"Rick wants you to see this. The boy's probably next…"

Stevie squeezed Cowboy's shoulder and said, "Don't worry. Daddy's got him. You engage Exodus, okay?" Cowboy nodded and ran from the room. "Hey!" The guy called.

"He's a kid. If you think you can catch him, try it, but I guarantee you, there's no way that you hurt her and make it out of this room _alive._ "

"You know how it is. We're trained to die for this. And Rick said she's bad blooded. Just a cut could kill her, right? You're gonna have to watch it. Because of what you've done to your brethren and to us."

"Rick Nelson still has juice from death row?"

"Rick Nelson? No. He was an infantry level bottom feeder. Rick Dunham."

"Who the fuck is Rick Dunham?" Stevie asked, getting closer and closer to the guy.

"Stay back!" He snapped and tried to cut Cheri, she elbowed him, weakly, but enough to stop herself from being cut across the face.

But as Stevie advanced on him and he tried to lunge at Stevie, Cheri instinctively grabbed the knife with both hands and screamed when it cut her. Stevie punched him in the face and Cheri muttered, "Fuck him up, Baby…" light-headed and near passing out now that she was also bleeding. Stevie wrestled the knife from him and stabbed him in the chest with it. He came over to check on her, but she said, "The other one went after the kids…" Stevie got up and rushed to try to find "the other one," and the kids.

They should have been in the library, in the reading nook under the floor, if Cowboy was able to collect them all. But if whoever Rick Dunham was had, Stevie didn't even want to think of that yet… he checked the nook and the children gasped when it opened. He sighed and helped them out, "Okay, I gotta get Mommy to the hospital. We're going to try to make a run to the RV. If we can't?..."

"Run and hide, or to a neighbor's if we aren't seen." Cowboy finished the statement. Stevie came back to the living room and Cheri was gone. There was no way that she'd gotten up and left on her own. He saw the blood drops creating a path outside. He gathered the children and headed outside with them. When he saw multiple forms in the dark he said, "Go!" The kids all ran away and he saw someone moving towards them and punched them down.

"Arggghhhh, you bastard!" She said.

He grabbed her by the collar, trying to see her. "Miss Kendra?" He picked her up to her feet, "Where is my wife?"

"You and your brother destroyed my family. My husband, my sons, my sister… Y'all little friends took my last remaining relative when I was mourning. Your wife is getting off easy. Drop her." Stevie turned and heard Cheri's strained voice, and struggling. She was hanging from the tree in their yard and struggling with the rope around her neck. Stevie ran harder and faster than he ever had in his life and hoisted her up. He could barely reach her and knew he had re-injured himself, but they would have to kill him to get him to let go. They tested that. He got hit a number of times, but his resolve was stronger. He'd taken plenty of beatings and never with her in this level of danger. Kendra Giardi held a gun to his head and said, "Drop her."

"You're gonna have to drop me, first. It ain't happening as long as I'm still alive…"

"Shoot her," She told one of the others, who was idiotic enough to try it within reach of Stevie and was kicked right in the nose. Cheri gurgled and Stevie straightened back up and pushed her up some more. Kendra moved out of Stevie's range and pointed the gun at Cheri, "I'm just as good as your nigger friend. I won't offer her a kill shot. Kneecaps, stomach, anything but a killshot if you don't let her black ass go, right now. You watch her die, either way…" They heard sirens approaching, and Stevie was equal parts relieved and still terrified. Kendra's company dispersed, so she told Stevie, "I guess she's lucky tonight. Them kids though, they ain't gonna be so lucky." She rushed off and of course, he couldn't give chase to her. He couldn't even see where the other end of Cheri's noose was!

Several police cars pulled up, guns out and pointed at Stevie, "Freeze!"

"I'm the victim!" Stevie offered, unable to let go of Cheri. He was pretty sure that she was unconscious now, but he hoped and prayed that was it. "My wife is hanging from this tree. I can't let go of her. I need help," he said, desperately.

"Jesus Christ!" the officer said and rushed over to assist. "What the hell happened?"

"I pissed off more Nazis than I have cops…" he said.

"Cut her down. I've got her," he told another one of the officer then told Stevie, "We got a call from Sam Evans that you were under attack. There's also an ambulance headed this way." They lowered Cheri to the ground and Stevie checked. She was breathing and had a pulse, even though it was weak.

"I have five children. I have to try to find them. Is she okay with you?" Stevie asked in a small voice.

"Yeah, Kid. Hey - help this kid find his kids. He's got five out here somewhere!" he called to some of the others, who had flashlights and guns. A couple of White Sheets were collected, but mostly, they had gotten away.

"Cowboy? Kids? It's Daddy!" Stevie called out, on the verge of tears. His adrenaline was still pumping, but not readily seeing his children and that they were okay was disturbing… Somehow more disturbing than seeing Cheri struggling for air strung up in the tree…

"Daddy?" He heard a small voice and turned to see Charmaine, crying and shivering. He rushed to pick her up and gave her a big hug. "Daddy, we tried to run. Me and Sterling ran slow and the man had grabbed Sterling. Cowboy came back because he wanted to fight to get Sterling, but the man took him too and knocked me down. He said he was gonna get me too and called me that word!" She was shaking tremendously. Almost, as much as Stevie was, having heard that.

He repeated to confirm, "You saw somebody take Sterling and Cowboy?"

"He put them in his van," she cried. Stevie walked back over to the police, holding her and she screamed and held him tightly, "Daddy, what's wrong with Mommy? Did the police kill her?" she asked, now having a full tears laden meltdown.

"No. No, baby. They're helping this time, okay? No need to be afraid, alright. They're gonna help Mommy get to the doctor. He set her down and said, "They're gonna take care of you too, okay?"

"NO, Daddy, please don't leave me with the police!" she squealed.

Stevie kneeled in front of her and said, "Daddy is about to ask you to do something very hard, probably the hardest thing you ever did, okay? You can keep crying. This is scary and Daddy's scared too, but Daddy _has to_ try to figure out where that man took your brothers and I need you to trust me and be strong. Even if you're scared, I need you to stay with the police, okay. They won't be able to hurt you while you're with the police. You and Mommy are safe."

"I want all us safe!" she sniffled and snotted, then wiped it with her shirt.

"Me too…"

"We've got her," the officer told Stevie.

"She saw someone take two of my children and put them in a van."

"What color?"

"I'm sure she couldn't see that," Stevie said.

Sam's truck pulled up and the nearby cops reached for their weapons. "That's Sam," Stevie said as Sam got out and rushed to him. Stevie immediately went to Sam and fell onto him, hugging him and crying. "Thank you for sending them, Cheri would be dead…"

"She's okay? Thank God!"

"They took Cowboy and Sterling!" Charmaine was in the ambulance with Cheri as they tried to do what they could before leaving. "I could only find Charmaine. They might have Sheva and Woody. I don't, I don't know…"

"Look," Sam said and cupped his face, looking him in the eyes, "I don't know what they've done or what they plan on doing, but I promise you this - they are going to pay for touching our family this way." Stevie nodded his head. "You ain't gotta be strong no more. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere until we know what's what…" Now, Matt's SUV pulled up and Sam said, "I got Joe to call him. He must have not been at home."

Matt jumped out of the vehicle and held his hands up, "Friend of the family." Stevie went to hug him. Sam avoided saying anything to him, just out of respect. Matt said, "I was at headquarters when Joe called. Jane's online, researching and reporting, getting every status and update that she can and on the phone with me to keep everything in real time." Stevie cried again.

Sam finally said, "All the kids are missing except Charmaine. At least Cowboy and Sterling were taken, and Sherwood and Sheva, we don't know about."

Matt asked Stevie, "Have you checked with the neighbors?" Stevie shook his head. "I will. Stay with your brother, okay?" As he walked to the neighbor's he told Jane, "All the kids are currently missing, except for the youngest. Put out alerts for Cowboy and Sterling. They have confirmably been taken. I'm checking the neighbors to see if the first twins here."

Stevie paced and wondered, "Should I try to go to the hospital? Will they protect Cheri? And Charmaine's scared. I can't leave my baby girl alone like this. I don't… I have to find my boys, though."

"Whatever you need to do, I'ma do the rest. Matt doesn't hate me so much that he'd punish you to avoid me, obviously…"

"DADDY!" Stevie heard and his heart stopped as he saw both Sheva and Sherwood running to him, followed by Matt and the neighbors. He kneeled to catch them in hugs. They were shaking, but not crying and confused, but not as scared as their sister had been seeing Cheri lying on the ground, surrounded by police. Sherwood asked, "Are you bleeding, Daddy?"

"Daddy was doing superhero things," Matt said. The neighbors said, "They rang the doorbell and said that men were chasing them. It was way too late in the night for it to be a practical joke. We let them in and called the police…"

"Thank you. Thank you, so, so much!" Stevie said, crying.

"Is your family alright?"

Stevie stood up and let Matt take the twins to his vehicle. "My wife was attacked. She's being rushed to the ER. Two of the boys were taken." He nodded his head, "We're trying to tell the police everything that we know. We have at least two suspects' names, they caught another two guys and one is dead in the house. I guess they'll identify him or whatever."

"Good Lord..."

.

Stacie was frantic. "I can't reach ANYBODY!" She complained, trying to get a status update from everybody.

"Matt says that his site has as much play by play as he can give. Jane, Mason, Aphasia, and De'Wanda are all on the phones and online, fact checking and contacting. Most of them are marked safe."

"Not my family, though!" She fussed. "My twin is out there, missing kids and my brothers are all silent and nobody has called me back. I can't reach Daddy, at all! Jake's phone is off…" She shook her head, "Somebody always talks about how my family supposedly gets away with stuff or gets off easy. This is the THIRD TIME that these people have directly come after us, much more if you count all of the small ways that they've done it over the years and… I don't want to be my daddy's age and still fighting these people off! I'm trying to have kids, for what? So that they can come take 'em and try to kill me, kill you?" She shook her head and cried.

"They found Sheva and Sherwood at a neighbor's," Joe said.

Her phone buzzed and she checked it, seeing a text:

 _Hey - Can we bring the twins there, too? - Sam._

 _ **GODDAMNIT SAM! ANSWER TEXTS AND CALLS AT A TIME LIKE THIS! How is Stevie? How is Cheri? Did y'all find the boys?**_

 _We're gonna bring the twins to the hospital. The cops are wrapping up here and we'll just have to wait until they contact us about Cowboy and Sterling. Hopefully… They won't be contacting us to tell us where to find the bodies. Stevie needs to check on Cheri and Charmaine. We're gonna go there with Matt._

 _ **I'm heading there, too.**_

"We have to meet my brothers at the hospital," Stacie said, grabbing her keys. Joe had talked her down from rushing to Stevie's but he knew that there was no talking this down.

Mercedes was in the other room with the Harts, having some tea to calm down and comforting the kids. Joe showed his dad the way the site updated, so that he could keep Mercedes informed. It was safer to keep her there, instead of trying to move all of them around, with those people out there, causing havoc. She heard her phone ring and she rushed to answer it. "Sam!" she said.

"Hey, Babydoll. Everything okay there? Because, it was an absolute mess at Stevie's. They aren't playing around. Y'all stay inside. Don't go nowhere."

"Stacie and Joe just left to meet you at the hospital."

"What? They left you and the kids with two OLD PEOPLE?" Sam asked and shook his head, "I have to call her. She can't do this. They are attacking in groups. Y'all don't need to be separated!" He went to hang up, but was receiving a picture message. He saw Cowboy and Sterling, crying, inside of their house, in Jake's old room. "Hey!" He called suddenly to Matt and Stevie. "They're at the house! They're in the house!" he said.

Stevie sniffled. "What are you talkin' about?"

"The boys. They sent me SMS of them in Jake's room," Sam said.

"Pull over," Stevie said.

Matt told him, "I can turn around."

"No. We can't bring my kids back there. I gotta get out and go there by myself."

Sam offered, "I'll go. You've already been beaten up, you're still healing from the parade and you've got so much emotional distress tonight, having to take somebody down and going through all of this. I'll go and I'll get them for you."

"Sam…"

"Stevie… I promise, as long as I'm alive, ain't nothing happening to my nephews…" Matt pulled the SUV over and Sam got out and rushed back towards the house. Matt didn't immediately leave.

Stevie said, "There's no way that they're alone. I can't bring the kids there. Will you please…?"  
"I will look after Sherwood and Sheva like it's Mattie. You know this."

"I know that. I wasn't gonna say that. I was gonna say to apologize to Cheri for me, if I don't… This is exactly what she wanted to avoid, distancing herself from me. This was what she didn't want for herself, the kids, or even me. And now, she's the most hurt person in the situation, I might die and if she loses me and any of our children… I know that she'll hate me, but please, just remind her of how sorry I am that I did this to us." Matt shook his head, "I'm going to remind her that you did everything you did because you loved your family. I'll tell her that you died trying to make sure that she kept what she could of it… If that's what happens. I'll get the twins safely to the hospital, have Jane to send the cops back and I'll be back, too." Stevie gave Matt a hug and Matt told him, "It's not goodbye. You're not dying. Hurry up back to the house. Those boys need their dad."

.

Dwight didn't fully go outside. There were some klansmen on horses and he wasn't sure if that was for dramatic effect, to try to get away through the nearby woods or what, but he began to open fire from where he was, near the kitchen door. He took down a few riders before one threw another one of those cocktails towards the house. He threw it back and hit the horse, felt bad about that, but the rider's cloak caught fire and he fell off of the horse, which went running away. At least four horses had went running away since he began firing. But, the fire itself, from the burning klansmen caused light to give away where he was firing from and somebody fired at him, multiple times. A couple of them hit him and he groaned and fell down, more outside now.

"Dwight?" Nisha called to him, hearing what sounded like him being shot. "Dwight!"

"Shhhh. I'm okay," he lied and checked his wounds. They weren't hard to see. They got him in the chest and the gut. He told her, "Crawl away," and went all the way outside, now firing at whoever he could see, and they fired right back at him, when they could.

He made a circle around the house, to try to see if he could find another dark area and saw Maybelle, snooping around. He fired at her and hit her in the back, then with renewed energy and strength went over to her. "You shot my wife," he said, kicking the hand gun from her reach.

"You let my sister's kids marry a bunch of niggers and wetbacks. You betrayed your heritage, your great grandaddy, your grandaddy, and your daddy! You betrayed your kids and you definitely betrayed Mary's memory when you brought that…" Dwight shot her again, in the chest, before she could finish that statement. One of the riders threw one of those cocktails at him and hit him with it. Dwight yelled and fell to the ground to try to put the fire out. He wasn't fully on fire, but where it burned, his flesh was seared, the nerves exposed, and he had never experienced that much pain in his entire life.

The house was on fire. He wanted to see if Nish was out, but he could hardly move. The pain was so intense, he could hardly see at this point. The fire was out, but the burns were extreme on his side and left leg. Someone rushed up to him and he saw that they appeared to be paramedics. He hadn't even heard the sirens, but here they were. "My wife. Go see if my wife is alive!" He managed to request.

"Sir, we have to see about you…"

"No - she was shot."

"Sir, unfortunately, this woman is dead…" they said, noting Maybelle's clearly dead body.

"No. She's in the kitchen. Please. Please, go see." Dwight struggled to breathe, trying to wait for news of his wife. He glanced over at Maybelle, looking just like Mary, and was an even sneakier snake. "I'll see you in hell…"

They went to try to check if there was a way into the burning house, and fortunately, the kitchen was open and not on fire. They found her, sprawled out, and checked her vitals. She seemed to be alive, but they had to hurry if they wanted to help her out. She didn't look like she was in as bad of shape as the husband, but now that they had reached her, they removed her from the house to see to her medical needs. When they had her in the ambulance and the next medics came, they directed them to Dwight. "The husband wanted us to see about his wife first. She's gonna be fine, but he needs immediate attention. He'll be the one not in a hooded robe. He's got boxers on, near a blond lady.."

The paramedics rushed over to where Dwight was as the ambulance took Tanisha away.

.

Stacie and Joe arrived at the hospital and asked about Cheri. A social worker met with them at the counter, accompanied by Charmaine, who rushed into Stacie's arms and cried on her as the woman held her niece tightly. "She's been through much more than any child should have to ever, just tonight alone. Has the father made it here, yet?"

Stacie took a swallow and said, "He _should have_ been here! I was told that he, my brother and the twins were headed this way with a friend…"

"Okay, there was a friend who came in a short while ago. Another social worker was speaking with the twins, and we were going to compare notes."

"A black dude with way too pretty facial hair?"

"And a scar across his jaw," the social worker nodded.

"Where is he?" Stacie wondered.

"He said that he had to head back and that you were on your way to see about the kids…"

Stacie used every bit of energy that she had not to scream. So, not only were Sam and Stevie NOT here, but Matt had left, too? He'd left the twins? "Would you like for me to take you to the other social worker and the twins?"

"Yes, please," she said and to Joe she hissed, "Get on that site, or get hold of them and see what happened!" She sounded angry, but he knew that she was simply stressed and frightened.

.

Sam made it into the house and went to Jake's room. Rick Dunham and Kendra Giardi were there. Cowboy and Sterling were tied up, but not gagged and they both were crying. Sam chuckled and shook his head, seeing her, "Why didn't I know that you were involved in this?"

"I'm not sure. You should have known, after what y'all did to my family that I'd eventually rise up, reach out and touch yours," she poked Cowboy with the tip of a knife and he flinched, but she hadn't stabbed him. Sam moved forward when she had done it though. "I would simply not, if I were you. What Rick Nelson did to those Rutherfords is nothing in comparison to what I will do to these little half-breed abominations if you anger me. Your brother has already soured my mood."

"Why don't y'all let them go, and do all of that stuff to me, instead? I'm really who y'all want. I'm the one that got out of ranks and possibly messed up a hit. I'm the one that didn't fall when targeted on the inside. I'm the one that made it out and made statements. I'm the one the fought to have Schuester taken down…"

"You're not the one who killed two of my three sons, though. The police killed one, when he went after that turncoat you modeled after you, and the other one, that chink bitch, Paul's little gross secret, that… hooligan! Max tried to get her. Tried to get Stevie too. You fucking cockroaches, infesting everything, reproducing, never dying… until now."

"I swear to you, _if you hurt_ either one of those children in anyway, you'd better kill me real quick, right after you do it. Because, ain't no way that you're gonna hurt my nephews and I not hurt you. I'd tell you to ask your husband about me, but his ass is dead."

"They said some sand nigger killed him, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was you. You and your brother love taking us out," she said.

"Sure do," Stevie said, with a gun to her head. He reached for her knife and took it away from her. Rick Dunham moved to grab his own gun and Sam tackled him before he could. Kendra had her hands up, trying to figure out when she might be able to get the jump on Stevie. "Cowboy, take Sterling to the place, okay?"

Kendra laughed and asked, "What, you think you and your brother are about to just have a tussel with me and Rick?"

"No, bitch. I got the gun and the knife. And Rick's ass is dead…" He pointed the knife towards him and Kendra saw him and shook her head. She rushed over and cradled him, screaming.

Sam said, "Sorry, I didn't want to. He made me. I wanted him to be able to live a better life…" She let out a banshee's cry and rushed at Sam, with a knife that he didn't realize that she had. She angrily began to stab him repeatedly in his chest and stomach before Stevie had the chance to empty the pistol into her.

When she dropped the knife and fell over, Stevie rushed to check on Sam. "Sammy! Oh my God, Sammy…" He tried to check on the bleeding, but tshe had been so quick, he didn't know where he could go to stop the bleeding.. IF he could stop the bleeding. He didn't know how far out the cops were or if Matt was on his way back. Sam was gurgling, choking on his own blood and shaking, shivering. "No. NO! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Sammy. Please don't die. Please, don't do this to me! This is my fault. I am so sorry." He reached for the phone and tried to call 911. He heard something at the doorway and turned and tried to fire the now empty gun. It was Matt. "Ruth!"

"Let's get him in the car. We don't have time to waste. Where the boys at? Get them, I'll get him." He dragged Sam by the arms to his vehicle while Stevie got the boys out of the nook, trying to untie them as they rushed to the vehicle. The ambulance got there before they took off, but not before Matt's seats were drenched in Sam's blood.

"We thought it was a mistake, but didn't we have people here tonight already?"

"He's DYING, Man!" Matt snapped and pointed his hands at Sam. They followed the ambulance to the hospital and as Sam was rushed into emergency surgery, Stacie and Joe saw Stevie and Matt, covered in blood and Stevie crying nonstop.

Matt was speaking with Jane, with an arm around Stevie and Cowboy and Sterling were practically catatonic, as the two social workers greeted them and nurses came to check them out. Matt told Stacie and Joe, "Stevie is not okay, alright. Try not to ask him too much. He's had to kill at least two people tonight and has seen more than one person he loves almost die. Also, none of us still can't get in touch with your dad. Did you have any luck?"

"No." She looked at Stevie, shivering, pulling Matt's sweater tighter around himself. She went to the desk and asked, "Can I sign my brother in? He needs to at least get checked out." The clerk handed her paperwork and she took Stevie's hand and led him to the waiting room.

Joe sighed and shook his head, "All this carnage, for what?"

"Because of hate. This isn't even the worst carnage that I've seen at the hands of these people." Matt kept having flashes of his family and the crime scene photos. "I'm going to call my wife and let her know how I am."

"I'll check on mine, as well." As Joe was walking over to them, Stacie looked at her phone and answer it. It took all of 30 seconds for her to start screaming and yelling at the person on the other line. Stevie jumped and stared at her, for the first time snapping out of his haze. She lowered her voice and Joe walked up and heard her say, "You stay away from her and you put her on the phone, right now!"

"What's happened?"

"Stacie's on the phone with our Meemaw…" He shook his head and stared at Stacie's face go through a series of expressions and finally she nodded her head, with alligator tears falling from her eyes.

"Ummm… I am going to be there, right away. I'm. You. I'm… We'll…" her voice shattered and she said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm the only one who can come right now, but I'm on my way, I promise. We'll see what… I'm… Hello?" She hung up and rubbed Stevie's arm. "I'm gonna give them your paperwork, Steves." He watched her suspiciously go to the desk, trying to pretend that she wasn't about to breakdown.

"She thinks I can't handle it… and maybe she's right," Stevie said.

"Handle what? What just happened?"

Stevie shook his head. "I want to see my wife. Can I do that? My kids? My wife?"

Joe rubbed his shoulder, "I'll check on that for you, Brother." Joe came up to the counter, too and said, "Stevie wants to see Cheri and the kids."

"He has to get looked at, first. He just had to get rushed to the ER like a week ago, and now he's been fighting, nearly killed, suffered from a breakdown. I've seen it before. It's been a long time, but that's not regular Stevie in that waiting room. That's broken Stevie and he'll have to see a doctor before he can see them. That's all there is to it."

"Okay. But, this is not regular Stacie, either. Tell me what's wrong."

"I gotta go to Tennessee," she said, and new tears came spilling out of her eyes. "Finally got word back on Daddy and Mama T…" She crashed against Joe's chest and just started crying on him. Stevie watched and his eyes teared up. He got up and left the waiting room. He couldn't just sit there and wait. He'd search everywhere until he found one or more of his immediate family. He did not have much left to hold on to and he needed, at least… to see her. He had to know that she made it and that she was alright!

.

Tanisha woke up in the hospital, in a private room and tried to focus her eyes. "You're awake. I'll let the doctor know," she heard an elderly woman's voice say. She frowned and glared at her as she went to the door and called someone in.

"What. The. Entire. Fuck. Are. You. Doing. Here?" She asked. She looked around suddenly, "Where is Dwight? Why are _you_ here? Where is my husband?" She asked, already freaking out.

The doctor arrived and sat down, "Alright, Mrs. Evans. We have some police officers who will want to ask questions about your attack, after we wrap up here. I wanted to tell you about your condition and what our next steps need to be in your recovery…"

"Where is my husband? Did they bring him in with me? Was he hurt?" She asked, tearing up.

The doctor's face fell, momentarily and he cleared his throat. "Mr. Evans was tended to on the scene, but unfortunately, the medical team was not able to revive him…"

"What? Revive? REVIVE? He was DEAD? He died? At our house, that he built, for me?" Her blood pressure spiked and the doctor asked the nurse to get her something to help her calm down.

"The first response paramedics wanted to check on him, but he insisted, rightfully that they go to you, instead. They found you and were able to save you. Even if they had tended to him first, there's no reason to believe that he was going to make it…" He was saying something else - she was unconscious for hours and they called in Dwight's mother to identify the body and be with her, in case anything else happened… But she began howling in pain and threw her head back, crying and shaking her head, having just processed the fact that her husband had died… not only for her, but probably because of her.

She remembered going into the kitchen and grabbing her ice bucket and wine bottle. She was humming to herself and ready to go drink and make love to her husband and fall asleep in his arms, and call her kids the next day to see how they all were re-adjusting to being back home, after the trip… and she turned around, saw Maybelle, gasped and got shot, one time, and the bitch ran. "Have you called our kids?"

Dwight's mother said, "I thought it might be better coming from you."

Nisha nodded and she shook her head at the doctor, "No offense, but I don't give a fuck about any of that shit!" She shoved his clipboard and repeated, "My husband is dead, right? Or am I having a huge fucking misunderstanding? Let me call my kids!" The nurse handed her Dwight's phone, and she gave her something to help her calm down.

Whenever she looked at the photo of herself on his wallpaper, she immediately started crying and opened it to try to call Stacie. She needed to call Stacie. She and Stevie were closer, but Dwight was closer to Stacie, in a way that he wasn't as close to the others. Even Sam. Stacie answered the phone excitedly and said, "Daddy! Oh God, thank goodness…" Tanisha tried to speak and Stacie panicked, "Oh no… Is this an attacker? Who are you?"

"Heyyy…" Mama T tried.

Stacie sighed, "Mama T! Okay. Lord, it's been such a crazy night. You and Daddy are safe though, I take it? Calling to tell us to stop calling so much? Probably on a sex binge… Please respond, you're scaring me…" Tanisha started crying and handed the phone to the other Mrs. Evans. "Mama T?"

"Stacie, it's Meemaw…"

"What are you doing there? What's happened? What did you do? If you hurt her, oh my God! I am not in the mood for this tonight. Our family is being attacked by people like you and the last person's voice I want to hear when I try to talk to loved ones is the woman that spit in my daddy's face because he fell in love with somebody that she didn't approve of! And why are you with Mama T? I swear, if you're wrapped up in what's happening and you do something!"

"Please let me talk…"

"You stay away from her and you put her on the phone, right now!"

"Stacie, I'm sorry. I didn't want to be the one to do this, but your…"

"Mama?"

"She's too upset."

"What?"

"Honey, the house was hit tonight. From what I'm told, it's significantly burned down, your mama was shot, but she's alright… But, honey, Dwight's not alright. He was shot several times and set on fire, and they couldn't help him. Also, your Aunt Maybelle. I don't know all of the details, but this gal isn't okay. I'll give her the phone back and you say whatever you need to say, but I don't know if she can really talk to you back."

Tanisha got onto the phone again and muttered, "I'm so sorry, Baby Girl. It was my fault. He died because he was trying to save me. They burned our house. They killed the love of my life. I don't know what to do. I don't… How do I even make arrangements or plans? I'm so lost without him and I'm in the hospital. The first face I saw was his mother's…"

"Ummm… I am going to be there, right away. I'm. You. I'm… We'll…" her voice shattered.

"What about the boys?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm the only one who can come right now, but I'm on my way, I promise. We'll see what…"

"I have to go. Now the police want to pick apart my pain…" Mama T hung up the phone.

"I'm… Hello?" Stacie called and hung up. _My daddy…_ She looked at Stevie. Stevie was focused on her and she knew that either he had picked up what happened or he was curious to know. She had to get away from him. They couldn't be near each other and keep secrets and she just didn't know if Stevie could take another blow to his psyche right now.

Whatever the hell happened between he and Sam, they were Evanses and Evanses loved hard and didn't let each other down, if they could help it. Sammy had been stabbed trying to protect Stevie and his kids. Her twin might have changed over the years, but there was no way that he changed in such a way that Sammy fighting for his life in the O.R. was not going to hurt him, and Daddy? No, no, no… He couldn't take that. She was going to make plans to rush out to rescue Mama T from her horrible grandmother, see to whatever they needed to for _her daddy's… arrangements… Funeral, will…_ Whenever Joe asked her, she broke down on him. She couldn't hack it. She was not weak, but this hut so much worse than when Mary died. This hurt so much worse than seeing Stevie taken away and put in that home. This hurt more than reading pages of Sam's time in prison, or worse, pages of his time as a teen Nazi, and honestly, she couldn't think of anything that could ever possibly hurt more!

She was about to tell Joe what was wrong when she noticed that Stevie was gone. "Where's Stevie?" she asked. She rushed down the hallway, now focused on trying to keep herself together, for him. She rushed around and finally found him, with the social workers and all of the kids. They were all latched on to him and he seemed so much better than he had in the waiting room, just being with them. She sighed and approached, "I wish you wouldn't have walked off."

"I don't need a babysitter, Stace. I saw what you were doing. Trying to use kid gloves with me. All tiptoeing and shit like whenever we lived together and you were afraid that I was gonna lose it. What happened? Why were you talking to her?"

"It's more than I think you should tackle tonight," she said.

"Is it Daddy? Mama T? Both?" He looked like he was trying to be strong, but she _saw_ his last straws.

"She's hurt, but…" Tears fell from her eyes. "I'm going to go help her handle things. I'll leave Joe here to stay with you and Sammy, in case… anything happens here."

"No. Take Joe. You need your husband… Has anybody talked to Jake?"

"Still can't reach him…" She said. "But, I figure if he's alright, he'll be in Tennessee soon, too."

Stevie nodded and some tears ran down his cheeks. She gave him a hug and he looked down at himself. I oughtta go wait for my turn with the doctor. Take Joe with you… Wait… Has anybody called Mercy about Sammy?" His eyes went wide and so did Stacie's as she covered her mouth.

"We'll… go pick her up, and then when she's here with you and Cheri… We'll head out to see about Mama…"

.

The kids were asleep when Stacie called her and it was late, practically morning by now, but she was still up and hurried to answer her phone. "Hello?"  
"Mercedes, it's Stacie. Sit down for me, please?"

"Oh God! Is it Sam?"

"Partially. Are you sitting? You've been known to pass out or fall over. Please sit down."

"I was lying down, but I sat up when you started speaking all cryptic!"

"Joe and I are coming to come pick you up. We are going to leave the twins with his parents, but we will drop you off at the hospital. Stevie is here to keep you company and all of his children are here, shaken up, but non physically harmed. Cheri is in a room and Stevie is going to get some medical attention. As of right now, Sammy is in surgery. We don't know anything else about his condition."

"What happened to him?" She asked.

Stacie sighed, "Kendra Giardi stabbed him." Stacie refused the add several times.

"She needs to die already, God forgive me, but…"

"Well, she's dead now. Stevie… got her off of Sam."

"Oh God, is he alright?"

"He's trying. He could really use his big sis…"

"There's more?"

"Ummm.. Joe and I are going to go to Tennessee to see about Mama T. Ummm…. Daddy… Ummm…" Stacie started crying. "He died for what he loved. She made it, he didn't, just how he always raised his boys to be. The reason all of them are… where they are right now…" She sniffled. "See you soon…"

"Yeah… My Love…"

"Don't, please. I can't handle condolences right now," Stacie said.


	30. The Remission

_**A/N:**_ _People - y'all are seemingly reading things that I never once wrote. Sam never killed Jesse FOR Aphasia. Sam helped Jesse and Dave to rape her though. That happened, just as he helped Rick Nelson kill Matt's family. Sam has BARELY helped any of them do anything. STEVIE has worked_ _ **with**_ _these people, not_

 _for, and they haven't worked for him, either. These people have HELPED Sam with several things, but he has never gotten involved in anything that wasn't directly related to himself, his family, or his & Mercy's friends, and he hasn't really done anything that was special or great for any of them, to be honest. _

_If you think he has, you're likely somehow mixing this story/series up with something else. I get that. It happens sometimes when you read a lot. But, that never happened here. Hate who you want, but please, don't tell me it's for reasons that I know I never wrote. That's pretty insulting to me, as a writer and honestly to me as a person.I forget what I wrote all the time, but that's not something I forgot._

 _It's fine to just hate anybody that I write. Nobody has to like everybody. I don't like everybody that I write, but I'm not here for listening to complaints that are not lined up with the content that I know I created._

 _Now, if you feel like I wrote a shitty character because they don't make sense or don't follow their own characteristics, that's something else, totally. That's a writing defect that I can accept criticism of. Stop filling me with rage early in the morning with y'all hatred of folk for stuff that I didn't write._

 _If I had written Sam as a helpful soul that helps people and they don't appreciate it, that'd be a totally different thing, I never ever wrote that or suggested it. I was never going to write that somebody who contributed to the rapes and murders of black people would ever be in a position of them having something to hold over those persons or their relatives and I'm kinda gagging that that's something that was processed in anybody's thoughts about my work._

 _If anybody I've written is ungrateful to or owes Sam anything, it's Stevie, but that's an entirely different matter, as their history is jaded and that conversation is longer and more nuanced. NObody else has ever been indebted to Sam in this series, ever. Nobody. Especially not one single black. I never wrote it and never would have thought to write it. It did not happen anywhere in any three of these tales._

 _If that's a takeaway, I need to delete these shits and move on, because a Nazi helping out "unworthy" black people is fiftyleven % NOT the story I wanted to write and not a story that I would feel comfortable associating with myself._

 _The one time that Sam helped somebody that could possibly be cited as something to be grateful for - he kept Matt from getting shot moments after recalling everything that he and his friends did to Matt's family. That wasn't a selfless "Save Matt or Help Matt" decision so much as a guilty conscious decision. I'm more than willing to talk about where I've gone wrong in a story, if that's what I wrote vs what you felt._

 _The opinions I receive are often based upon elements that I did not present or insinuate in the story-telling. That's where the problem is. I can stand critiques. Hell, I can stand hate. Just, don't tell me that you hate something because of something that is not there, then turn around and tell me that you enjoy the story. It can't be good if I'm presenting information that I'm not trying to describe, and that is fine. This saga may just be badly written. And if it is, the upside is that it'll be over soon, in addition to the upside of y'all ain't gotta read nothing. Ain't gotta do nothing but be black and die. Lol._

 _This got so long winded, I be three or four chapters passed y'all and y'all bring me some mess that have me wondering why I even bother continuing if I can't even tell the story that I'm tryna tell. Like, I be doubting myself so much if I have to explain what I wrote, that's not good writing. That's bullshit writing and I obviously have a long way to go before I can be considered good. Fortunately, nobody don't pay me to do this, so you get what you pay for. I don't know what in the alllivesmatter I be saying to make y'all feel the way y'all be feeling, Cuz. I can hardly wait to be done with this story, honestly. Thanks for reading, even if it was something I wasn't saying. There's not too far to go before we get to put it behind us. Approximately 10 chapters and maybe an epilogue._

 **The Remission**

Tanisha Evans… She had only been with him for five years. It was less time than it had taken her to try to get a degree (before she dropped out of college because she was broke and pregnant). It was less time than it took her to fall in love, get pregnant, get married and have her marriage fall apart. It was less time than it took her from the moment puberty hit until she was considered a woman by far too many grown ass men that she told repeatedly that she was underaged and disinterested… So, even though it was not a long time, not in comparison to the fact that she was almost fifty; but it was significant enough.

When Stacie and Joe arrived at the hospital, she was just looking through Dwight's phone, at the hundreds of photos of herself. "There's hardly any of him," she said, sadly. "There's a ton of you, all the grans and kids. There's a lot of bookmarked articles about stuff he loved or was interested in. There's albums and albums of me. He has about a dozen photos of himself in here, excluding the ones with us in them…" She looked up, her eyes were swollen and bloodshot. "You got a charger? It's almost dead…" Her eyes went wide when she said the word and she dropped the phone and covered her face with a hand. Stacie rushed to hug her, passed the phone to Joe and cried with her.

.

Stevie stood up when he saw Mason and Jane entering the hallway and kept his distance. They had been clear about staying away from him, but they had also spent the biggest portion of their night trying to touch base with his family and update everyone of how things were, whether for Matt or for him, he was grateful. Jane hung back, but Mason came forward with a duffel bag and told him, "Matt needs to get some rest. A lot of triggers happening. We volunteered to parlay the contract for right now. There's changes of clothes for everybody. We weren't sure how long you'd be in here." Stevie nodded his head and accepted the bag, sadly. "I'm really sorry about your dad…" Stevie started crying and Mason reflexively pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry about everything," Stevie said. "You and Jane, Cheri, my daddy - all of this is on _me…"_ He felt her hands rubbing his back and he turned around and saw her face. She was so… _sorry. These were pity hugs._ Stevie was too sad to care.

He fell into it and let them console him for several long minutes before Cheri cleared her throat and offered, "I sure would like me one of them McHayward hugs…" Jane gasped and rushed over to the bed to give her a huge one, both of them whispering "sorries" and "missing yous," at the same time, careful not to wake any of the children in the other bed in the room.

Stevie took the bag and disappeared into the bathroom for a while, while Mason and Jane sat on either side of Cheri's bed and chatted about everything but what happened the previous night/this morning, or _the incident._ Safer subjects were this goddess that was gonna be born in about 4 months, this illness that had been making Cheri it's bitch for the past year, and if and when they were going to allow some playdates between the kids came out, washed up and changed. He started setting out outfits for the children, making sure that he set them correctly, as of course, Mason would have been able to get styles and sizes correct for them. He took the receipt and opened his wallet to see if he had cash.

"No, no…" Mason said, shaking his head. _They were still his godchildren, sort of…_

"At least for mine…"

"I said no," Mason told him, firmly. _He doesn't need anything from you. You're the one who needs him…_ Stevie simply nodded and put his wallet away. Cheri reached for Stevie's hands and Jane and Mason got off of the bed, giving them some space before announcing, "We just came to drop off clothes and give our condolences. We're going to head out."

Cheri chuckled, "Condolences? I made it… Wait…" She looked at Stevie with wide eyes. "Wait… Did somebody not make it?" Stevie clasped his hands together and sat next to her on the bed. She placed her hands over his and now, Jane and Mason didn't feel comfortable leaving or staying; so they just stayed put and Mason winced that he should have known that Stevie hadn't told her yet. "Stevie?" Cheri said.

"Daddy…" He just put his head down. He couldn't say another word and her heart broke into a million pieces. Here she was, cheering and giggling with her old friends, hugging and kissing and carrying on while this was happening…

"Do you need us?" Jane asked.

Cheri gathered Stevie into a hug and asked, "Could you stay a bit, for the kids? Oh God, do they know, yet?" Stevie shook his head. He could barely say it himself. After everything that they went through, he didn't want to add this thing on yet. He figured that they could tell them when Cheri was up and able…

Mason told them, "Madison got a friend who lives in New York to go over to Jake's and tell him to call his family. He spoke to his mom early this morning and he's heading to meet with Stacie and help with things. Hopefully Sam will be able to make it to everything…"

Jane threw Mason a look and he awkwardly tried to figure out something to do with his hands.

"What about Sam, now?" Cheri asked.

Jane sighed, stepped forward and told Cheri, "This is everything that happened. Dwight was killed trying to protect his home. Tanisha was injured and is in a hospital in Tennessee, in a private room, with security detail hired by Rose Enterprises. Marley is on her way there and will most likely handle all of the details that Stacie and Jake are too emotional to were injured. . Stevie was injured. The children are all physically unharmed, but will definitely need some psychological assistance to cope with all of the things that they saw and experienced and are likely to be told within the next few days and weeks. And Sam has been in and out of surgery several times, is in the intensive care unit with Mercedes at his side, unharmed, but his condition is still critical and the doctors aren't sure if he will be alright." She gave Stevie's hand a squeeze, and hand let new tears fall, still just too grateful for words.

Cheri sighed and cupped his face, "I'm so sorry, Baby."

"Why are _you_ sorry? This is my fault. This is exactly what you told me could happen. This was avoidable, if I didn't have to be so goddamned self righteous and always fighting!"

Cheri shook her head, "That's not what this is, at all Stevie. This is those people wanting to do harm and doing it! Of course, I worried that your fight would make them act out, but I never would say that's your fault. They do these things because enough people _don't_ fight them. This is an ultimate _How dare they stand up to us?_ And you know what? That's over. That's cancelled. Those motherfuckers killed Papa Dwight. Every single one of them that you can reach out and touch, I _want_ you to hurt them." He looked up at her, trying to see if she was serious. She was. And she kissed him.

Jane felt uncomfortable with this conversation, and she took this moment to step out of the room and take a breath. She felt a cramp in the pit of her belly and held it. Mason noticed and stepped out with her, "Hey, everything alright?"

"Yeah. It was just a long night and I think she's annoyed. I'm gonna go see about getting a bite, if you wanna help out with the kids?"

"No. I'll let them know that we have to go," he said and took a couple of minutes to do so before joining her for them to leave.

When it was just Cheri and Stevie and the sleeping children, she sighed and shrugged her shoulders, "I had some news, but I guess it's not even important, at this point…"

Stevie shook his head and stroked her hands, "Nonsense. Anything else is better to have to hear or talk about."

"Okay, but… Okay…"

"Tell me, dammit!" He joked.

"Well, the doctor said that my cancer seems to be in remission…" She said bashfully and humbly.

Stevie guffawed, "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't play. What's wrong with you? Don't play like that? Are you playing? Are you serious?" He laughed happily and gave her a hug, waking up the kids in the process.

"I mean, that doesn't mean gone for good or…"

"Oh my God - it's the best news that I have ever heard in my fucking life; shut up. I love you." The kids curiously got up and started climbing into the bed or asking to get picked up and lifted in. "We can tell them that… I don't want to…" He shook his head. He wasn't ready to talk about Dwight, yet. That was understandable.

.

Mercedes wished that she had headphones or something. All of the background noise in this place was as stressful as the labored breathing that she could hear from Sam and the beeping of the machines that she knew were connected to him, to keep him alive, because right now, his own body was not capable of doing it. He had to have three surgeries already and probably needed more, but his heart and lungs were possibly too weak to withstand the next one right now. It wasn't like an episode of a medical show, where they go in and do whatever risky business that there is to do just so they can wrap up the storyline or use it as a catalyst. This was her precious husband's very life.

She wondered what he was dreaming about. Was he dreaming, or was he on the other side, looking at her and trying to get back? Was he in darkness, sleeping peacefully without an inkling of the pain that she was in, or the pain that he was in, for that matter? Oh God - was he IN pain, right now? She took his hand and cried, again.

They had sugar coated it for her. The things that the doctor said were not nearly as hopeful as what Stacie had said. The things that Dr. Hitchens had said were not even as hopeful as what the surgeon who worked on Sam when he was brought in. But, Grace had been the doctor who saved Sam's life when he was shot years ago, despite him being covered in hate tattoos at the time, because it was her job and according to her, "I work for God first, my fellow man next and only then, then the hospital." She eventually became a member of their congregation and was the only doctor that they trusted, even though half the time, they asked her about things that she did not specialize in. She knew enough, for them, as a doctor.

The Harts were going to bring her children there later, and Aphasia was going to gather them up with Stevie's kids and bring them all to the community center for some distraction while they tried to do all of the grown up stuff at the hospital. Tina and Quinn, of course, were ready to try to rush in like fools and come try to save somebody, but with Dwight and Nisha being targeted, along with Stevie and Sam… There was no telling if the calls from those areas weren't subterfuge or if these people had plants set up to move in on them, as well. At any rate, the national news was going wild with all of the reports of these events. Matt told her that he was going to get some escorts for the kids, because whenever he left the place, the paparazzi was already disrespectfully gathered outside, and he knew how stressful that could be when your family has faced something terrible. It was awful for him at 18, so he didn't even imagine what the kids would be thinking, particularly Stevie's kids - who had been through an unprecedented amount of shit. She was blessed that her children had peacefully slept through the night. It could have gone differently for them. She knew that it still could go poorly for them. "Dear God, please let my husband make it through this. I won't ever get involved in no politics, no programs, nothing. I will shut up and just enjoy my life and let him keep us safe and secure from this type of life. I was so convinced that standing up and doing what was right was worth it, but if being a good person is going to cause the type of pain that Mama T must be feeling right now, I can't do it, Lord. I don't want to do anything that could result in nothing like this…" She heard the door and she turned in it's direction. "Hello?"

"It's me," Stevie said. He came over, sat next to her and took her other hand. "I… heard what you said. I don't disagree. They had me ready to quit too. Last night was too much. Last night shouldn't have happened. But, it wasn't because we stood up to them. It's because not enough people do. So, you can quit your fight, and that will make sense. It's okay, because I'll keep doing it, and I'ma do it harder now, for my daddy, for my brother and for every goddamn Evans worthy of my daddy's last name."

"What do you think he's thinking? You think he hears us? You think he knows we're here?"

"I hope that he knows. I hope he knows that we're here and I hope he's on his way back here, too."

.

 _Sam's night went into an immediate panic when he thought that his family was in danger. Whatever thing could be said of them, one thing that they generally did was stick together and fight for each other. Having Joe and Stacie able to touch base with people made it possible for him to rush to Stevie's. That call from Rick Dunham had his skin crawling. He was speeding, but if the cops tried to pull him over, they were just gonna have to follow him all the way to Stevie's, because there was no way that he was going to slow down at a time like this. If they had gotten to Stevie's wife, Stevie was either ignorant of it, knocked out, or worse. And if that had happened to them, what about the kids? He was trying not to cry while he headed over. The tears were angry, but they were there._

 _Whenever he got there, there were already cops - a multitude of them, it seemed. He got out and Stevie rushed over to him, his little brother, again. Everything sour exchanged between them completely forgotten in the midst of what all was happening. But, where was his family? Were they okay? Seeing a dead Stevie, as unfortunate as that might have been was probably a better sight than a Stevie missing kids and wife injured… Sam could only do one thing - promise to get them back. Nobody comes for his baby brother and his family without hell to pay. Matt showed up a little while later, and Sam for a moment thought that Stevie was probably going to rush to him and forget that he was even there, as usual. Stevie was a damned mess. Gladly, Matt had his general wits about him and was ready to back his friend up._

 _Matt knocked on the neighbor's door and they suspiciously cracked it. "Hi, I am so glad that you peacefully opened the door. It's likely extremely unsettling to see that many cop car lights next door, then hear a knock. I'm friends with your neighbors and we're honestly hoping that maybe the kids were able to make it to your home when their house was under attack?"_

" _You're with the police?" The woman asked._

 _He chuckled, "No. I'm with the Evans family… Well, like I said, friends with your neighbors, but if the kids aren't here, I have to move along. Thank you for your time…"_

" _Hold on, please." She shut the door and spoke quietly with someone in the house, then opened the door again and Sherwood peeked out, "Uncle Matt!" He cheered._

 _Matt gave him a hug and Sheva appeared next, "Is Daddy with you?"_

" _He's at home. Uncle Sammy and some police are down there. I'll take you back over."_

 _The neighbor offered, "I'll walk with you, in case there are some lurkers. I can't believe something like this could happen in this neighborhood! I've never known anyone to be attacked here." Whenever they got back, they had to set some plans, while the police were investigating. Matt went into the house and asked if it was okay for him to pack up some bags for his friends, since this was clearly going to have to be a crime scene. He didn't know Stevie's house as much as Stevie knew his. This was more Cheri's house, but they still had their luggage bags set out, from the trip, so he simply grabbed those and made sure that they were filled with clean clothes for all of the kids. He decided to remain hopeful about the missing ones. He thought he saw Miracle in the corner of his eye, but when he turned around, she wasn't there. Cowboy wasn't much younger than she had been. She would have been Stevie's age, today. She could have had children of her own and he would have loved them as much as he knew Sam probably loved these. This was gonna be stressful for both of them, but he was here for Stevie and his family. He was human. He felt bad for Sam, too… It couldn't be easy watching this happen to your brother, especially a guy like Stevie, who Matt loved. He made coffee, put the bags away and brought a cup out to Sam and Stevie. Sam gratefully took it without making it weird by apologizing, thanking or any of that feelsy shit that he knew Matt didn't care for, especially at times like this. Stevie shook his head. He couldn't have any coffee, right now. He was already too excitable. "You have your meds?" Matt wondered. When Stevie shook his head, Matt went back inside to collect all of Stevie and Cheri's medicines. He wondered if anybody had been able to tell the hospital about Cheri's medical situation and medications. He called to see if he could get through and pass that information on._

 _Sam watched Matt performing in the background. Matt hated too much attention, so he was often quiet, but usually doing something, as an analytical mind and also a hard worker. But, Sam had a feeling that a lot of this busy work - packing bags, brewing coffee, making calls about meds - was to distract him. Not only was something terrible happening to one of his friends again, but he was having to be here, where Sam was. Sam knew that wasn;t easy for him and elected to just stay out of his way the whole time. When the police were wrapping up, they decided that they would simply take Matt's vehicle, as neither of the Evanses were probably emotionally capable of driving at the moment. Sheva and Sherwood were asleep in the backseat, having been guarded by Matt while the brothers were speaking with the police._

 _Sam got into the back with them and Stevie got in the front with Matt. They weren't that far away when Sam got the message of the boys. Rick and Kendra must have waited until the cops were gone before going back to the house, unless they knew their way around it from when it was a Schuester property. Either way, whenever Sam got out of the vehicle, he made a quick call to Mercedes. She was awake, still and he joked, "Why aren't you asleep, yet, Pretty Lady?"_

" _Why aren't you back yet?" She asked right back, suspiciously._

 _He laughed and sighed, "Well, you know how it is. Questions from the police. Sad baby brother…"_

" _Missing niblings… I'm so scared for them. God please don't let nothing happen to those kids. Stevie will die."_

" _I'm not letting nothing happen to Stevie or his kids. I don't care what has to happen."_

" _Short of you dying," she corrected him._

 _Sam was anxious, That very much was possible as the house was back in his sight. But, he couldn't tell her that, of course. Instead he said, "Remember that time when we were wrapping up things with the Schuesters, and you said, 'Come back with your shield, or on it?' I love you a thousand times more than I did that night and I wanted to tell you that."_

" _Okay…" She sounded scared._

" _Go to sleep, Babydoll. Last thing I need is you sleeping all through me coming home trying to tell you how good everything worked out tonight."_

 _She laughed, a little at ease, now, "I'll try. But, we both know I'm used to somebody's big old lips smacking all through the night and honestly, how am I supposed to sleep without it?"_

" _Oh, I see. She's got jokes! Okay… I'ma think of a comeback. And when I talk to you again, you're gonna get this work," he said, climbing under the caution tape out front. "Alright, I gotta go do good uncle stuff. I love you so much, Baby. Forever, for the rest of my life."_

" _I love you too. Come back with your shield. I'm too grown to be pretending it's okay if I lose you," she said, chuckling. He just smiled._

" _Goodnight, Mercedes." He put his phone away and went inside. They were going to have weapons - he just didn't know if it would be guns, or knives, or what. He knew that it probably worried her to get back to back calls from him like this, but if he wasn't going to make it out of here, one of the last things he wanted to give her was his best wishes._

 _He looked around Stevie's place and saw where the blood was from the guy that he had stabbed. He went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Stevie wasn't a weapons person. He didn't have stuff stashed all over the house like Sam did, or if he did - Sam didn't know where. He took a deep breath, prayed, "God, whatever has to happen tonight, whatever has to happen, whoever, if anybody we have to lose… God, please, don't let Stevie lose any of his kids. Don't let me be the reason something else goes badly for him…" He remembered Stevie's speech at Andrea's funeral._ Don't fuck it up.

 _He entered the room and saw Rick Dunham. Rick had come to him to be admitted into the program that Sam had set up at the church to help white supremacists whose lives had been ruined to turn things around. Stevie always said that if somebody had to hit rock bottom before they wanted to change, that change wasn't because they had a change of heart, it was because they had a change of resources. He thought that unless someone realized that they were wrong, they didn't want to change their life, they just wanted to change their situation. He didn't believe that most of Sam's recruits wanted to be better people, they just wanted to be happy again, and would probably return to their old ways, if they ever even turned away from them. Sam never paid attention, but Rick was as good a cautionary tale as any, and now he was teamed up with this woman, who hated his family and wanted them all dead. THIS was someone that Sam had brought into Stevie's life. Stevie was right… He was the reason that so much happened to him. Stevie could blame himself all he wanted, but Sam wasn't going to ever feel anything but responsible for it all._

 _Thankfully, the children were safe. They looked extremely troubled, but they didn't appear to have had any limbs broken, stab wounds, anything bodily detrimental. Thank God… But their condition still made Sam angry. If there was a way to ensure their safety, he would have rushed Rick, killed him and Kendra with his bare hands. But, he couldn't make a wrong move and risk Stevie's boys. Stevie loved very little more than his family. He had once mentioned that he had been thinking of escape plans for his family since Cheri was kidnapped by Max Giardi and that he updated it every time they had a new child, or the child's age and ability could be factored in. So, there was a plan that Stevie had that these kids knew about, but… Sam didn't. He and Stevie's relationship should have been better and he was willing to accept responsibility for that, too. But… Stevie showed back up!_

 _Sam was surprised to see him, and with a gun, no less. He recognized that gun. That was one that Aphasia had given him. Stevie wasn't a gun fan, but he knew that he had to know how to shoot, because he knew from experience that his enemies learned to shoot. He learned with some of them. Sam was halfway worried that Stevie might just shoot them both, but obviously, Stevie at least had the mind to not let his boys see that. Seeing Mary shot had broken Stevie. There was no way that he would let his kids ever have to see some shit like that, if he could help it._

 _And this bitch. What. The. Fuck. Was SHE mad for? First off - Stevie grew up with her three sons, yet whenever given just the word, without a second thought or the least bit of consideration, Kyle_ shot _his mother, on Hank's orders. Her second son kidnapped Stevie's wife, and told him that he would have to choose between her and his firstborn son, before taking him to be murdered and would have murdered him, if Jake hadn't stopped him! Her sister drove over a group of protestors, and almost hit Jane with her car when she did, then killed herself with pills. She GAVE UP her niece. Honestly, if anybody should be hunting anybody, she should have been hunted. Stevie felt like he'd messed up not putting her into Happy Place._

 _Sam saw Rick trying to go after Stevie and the protectiveness kicked in. They were fighting and Sam punched him in the throat multiple times. He was bigger than Sam, but Sam had had enough of these Nazis' antagonization and terrorizing tonight. He smashed his windpipe in and almost immediately, Dunham choked and stopped moving, with his eyes rolling back. Sam checked his pulse. Shit. He was definitely dead. Sam felt it. This wasn't like Jesse, or the others. This was different. Rick Dunham reminded him of his father… before the awakening, of course, but still - a likable man and a good person, sort of. He'd wanted to change, or he said that he did. Maybe he should have helped him better, or done more for him. Stevie did not share that empathy as he almost happily announced his death to Kendra. She deserved the hurt, but Dunham was probably provoked and Sam felt obligated to offer his remorse, as he felt it._

 _Kendra did not hear it. She charged at him with a knife and was able to stab him seven times before Stevie took her down. He froze, and he felt bad that he had. He should have shot her when she charged! Why did he freeze? He rushed to Sam, his brother. Not the dude that he had been picturing every time he was angry or upset with him, but his brother!_

 _The rush to the hospital was frantic crying and Stevie apologizing to Sam and God and everyone in the passenger's seat of Matt's SUV. Matt was right on the tail of the ambulance and whenever they made it to the hospital, he parked haphazardly and had not moved his vehicle until he had gotten Stevie to his family._

 _He'd JUST gotten back to the house whenever he found Stevie with Sam's nearly dead body. He pulled Sam's body to the SUV while telling himself that the shadows in the corners of his eyes were not there. This was far too much blood and far too many bodies. He was worried that they would become corporeal bodies instead of shadows before the night was over. Stacie took Stevie with her and he went outside to park the SUV and call Phai, to update her as well as find a little bit of comfort._

And now, he was coming back, bearing flowers and gifts for Cheri. "Hey," he said whenever he and Aphasia came into the room.

Cheri cheered, "I heard that Uncle Matt saved the day again last night. Always out there rescuing folks."

"Naw. I just drove back and forth. The real heroes are the ones laying up in hospital beds…" _And the morgue…_ "How do you feel?"

"Honestly, just tired and sore. My throat is hurting, and my hands sting, but I'm gonna be fine. There's more emotional pain than anything else, for me." Dwight had taken her down the aisle on her wedding day, instead of her father. He had changed more of Cowboy's diapers his first year than any other human being, even her, because her ass was in school all day. Dwight… Was… Loved… "But, sending up hopes and prayers for my bro-in-law." Matt nodded, sadly and set her things down. Aphasia had nudged her head at her when they came in, but was only talking to the kids, about where they were about to go. "Thank you for taking the kids," Cheri told her. She simply nodded and let them all hug her before taking them out.

"Where is Stevie?" Matt wondered.

"With his brother, of course," Cheri told him. Matt nodded and went to find Stevie. Not just anybody could go into the ICU, and whenever he was allowed, he tapped gently on the window and Stevie said something to Mercedes and went to meet him.

"Hey…" Matt started. Stevie just hugged him tightly. "I was just passing through. Any word yet on how he is?"

"The same as before, right now. Having blood transfusions, might need a transplant, might not make it another night. It's… still shaky. Thank you for everything."

"You kidding? A couple of days ago, I said the words, 'Fuck Sam Evans,' and that I don't care what happened to him. But… this shit - it shouldn't happen…"

Stevie hugged him again and admitted, "I too said Fuck Sam. He'll bring that out of you. He'll also… do this kinda shit." He turned back to see Sam with Mercedes holding his hand. "I tried to give her a break, but she doesn't want to leave him, even for a moment, unless she actually has to. People like us, leave our wives stuck out while we rush into danger and shit, thinking that we're something because we help people, yet the people closest to us hurt for it." He rested his head against the glass. "Do we know anybody who was involved, besides the ones that got arrested or killed?"

"No, but don't worry about it. You need to be here, with your family. You need to be here when Sam wakes up. Can't nobody else tell him about what happened in Tennessee, but you."

Stevie sighed and stood up straight, shaking his head, "I still can't figure out what's gonna be the harder task, seeing him die, or having to tell him about Daddy. That's… His BEST FRIEND, not just his dad. They were always close, except for whenever he was in prison, and that was because Sam was ashamed to face him. Aside from that, they were so close and I was always so jealous of him. I was jealous and I was angry and I was depressed and now, I just want to tell my past self to get over it and just enjoy them… Because this could have happened, all along, and now, it has!" Matt wrapped an arm around him and rubbed his shoulder.

"You're the strongest dude that I know. If anybody can get through this, it's you, Stevie. Do you need me to go keep Cheri company while Phai's with the kids, or to stay with you or help with the kids, or what… Tell me what you need."

"I need my brother to wake up and be okay. I need my Daddy to be alive and this to all have been a bad dream. I need somebody to tell me how to face Mama T after bringing this shit into her world. I need to figure out how to explain to my children that Daddy used to be friends with people who would do things like this to people, and that their Uncle Sammy was too. That their Papa Dwight is dead, that Uncle Sammy might… That… This is the world that I brought them into and everything that I try to do to change it doesn't mean shit."

Matt blew out some air, "That's a tall order, but challenge accepted on everything that's within my power. I'll add bringing some lunch to it." He kissed Stevie on the side of the face. "She's got some faith. Hopefully they aren't as foolish as we thought, to have that."

Stevie sniffled, laughed lightly at himself, then nodded. He pulled out his keys and said, "Can you stop by the ranch and pick up that thing from Dani?"

"What thing?"

"The… thing that I told you about. That Sam gave me."

"The journal? You trust me with that? What if I just handed it to Jane or something?"

"Yeah - I'm buying that you spent all night helping my family to hurt my brother while he's down. I just… I need to see it, and I can't get away."

"Yeah. Is she at the building?"

"Yeah, she called earlier. She'll give you the safe." He pointed out a key, "This opens it. I want you to read that last entry. I think that you deserve to see it, as much as I did."

.

Matt arrived at Stevie's Ghostskins Hunters Headquarters and checked the door. It was locked and he sighed, until he saw Stevie's literally only worker for this site (maybe not literally, but Matt rarely ever saw anybody else in this location, for it to be an active workplace, and surely not enough to be "headquarters.") She came to the door and opened it, her multicolored ponytail swinging left and right as she bounced over to unlock it and let him in. "Stevie told me that you were gonna give me a safe?"

She waved him over and escorted him into the office. "I called him this morning whenever I heard about the news of everything. I asked him if I should activate Revelations, but I guess it's not as apocalyptic as I thought. Seemed like it, from all the attacks on his family."

"I don't know anything about Revelations…" Matt said. This girl was always trying to have conversations whenever he just wanted to quickly pass through.

"I know that you don't," she said and winked an eye at him. He honestly didn't know what the fuck she was talking about, but he also wanted to get this over with, so he wasn't going to try to convince her. She went into the closet in Stevie's office and then downstairs, and came back up holding the safe under her arm and placed it on the desk. Matt picked it up and she told him, "Oh… He said that you were going to take what was inside, not the whole thing."

"I think it's okay. I'd rather not have it out and visible…" She started calling Stevie and he waited, patiently. It was good that Stevie had somebody here that was this serious about following through on details.

"Your Matt is here and trying to take the whole safe, instead of the thing inside. Is that alright? He said to not have it out in the open. Okay. Thank you." She hung up, "He said, Girl, you know that Matt's idea always takes precedence over mine, unless I say specifically to ignore him. And, that's a huge compliment, because he doesn't listen to anybody sensible, like ever."

Matt nodded and took the safe, "Thank you." She locked the door behind him and went to her desk and got back online. He got into his SUV, opened the lock and looked at the journal. He opened it and flipped to the back of it. The first line was _Dear Stevie,_ and honestly, it didn't feel right to keep reading it. However, Stevie asked him to, and he had driven all this way to do so.

 _Dear Stevie,_

 _Matt and Aphasia saved my life before. What I did to them - to both of them, and then what I did at your home, IS unforgivable and I always knew that they probably would never forgive me for these things, so keeping the distance that we had and only coming together when necessary was as comfortable for me as I'm sure it was for them._

 _I thought back when I was shot that I would never do anything to ever hurt these two people. These were the two people who had the most reason to let me die and they didn't, when the time came. I had told myself that after that day, no more blood would be spilled. I was very adamant about keeping my hands clean and not getting involved, I wanted to create a world where people like us got better and did better, fixed things and lived good lives. Since then, I firmly believe that I have done this. I think that you have done this, too._

 _For a while, I did think that my way was best and was the way that you should work. I think I disagreed so much with you because I was worried that it was Matt, and not you. I was worried that he was stealing my brother, because I took his. I was worried that he was turning you against me. There were so many things that frightened me about him, when all along, if I'm honest, maybe I've always been the monster in these scenarios. Maybe I am the monster that's under his bed. The only living, free person directly related to his family's murders and the only living, free person directly related to his wife's rape._

 _I'm no longer that person. I know it and I judge myself on who I am now and my intentions. Sometimes, it wouldn't hurt me to bear in mind how others might view me before I make expectations of them. Even more, it wouldn't hurt me to extend that kindness to all of you. Matt never did anything to make me think he was trying to turn you against me, but I was judging based upon who I know that I was to him. If someone did to House Evans what I did to House Rutherford, there would be no amount of work or effort that could be put into me forgiving them. Even knowing what I know now - how people can change and how things can happen to change feelings and lifestyles._

 _I would never forgive the person who would hurt you, harm you, take from you, trick you, or any of those things. I suppose that I imagined that Matt was this person, and I'm sorry that I did that and that I messed up things with him. But, more than that, I'm sorry that in your heart, I was that person, to you. On God, Stevie - I will never forgive myself for that, even if you do forgive me. I will never forgive myself for hurting Matt again, even if he does forgive me. I will never forgive myself for hurting Aphasia, even if she does forgive me. I won't take responsibility for that Jane girl, but I do feel bad that you lost her, too._

 _And, I alone killed Jesse St. James. I alone covered it up and pressured someone into being my alibi, under duress. I alone am responsible for framing Noah Puckerman as the person who did this to clear my name, and if you see fit, I will go down for all of this and I will confess this to any authorities that you are willing to turn me in to. Because, even if God forgives me for all of these things, everything that I have ever done… Knowing that it has hurt your life in the way that it has, Stevie… I will never forgive myself. I love you more than life itself. You will always be loved this much, as long as I breathe, and I am so proud that you have made yourself such an admirable man, with everything that I did to affect your life._

 _Whether or not you accept my apology, this is my confession. Do as you see fit._

 _Love, Sam._

Matt ripped the page out of the book, stuffed it into his pocket, locked the journal back in the safe and brought it back to Dani before leaving the building. He found Aphasia at the community center and showed it to her, so that she could read it, as well. She wadded it up and cried, "Why do we keep letting him do this to us?" She shoved it to him and shook his head, "I _don't_ accept. I've done that far more than he deserved. I'm sorry that Stevie's going through this, but I'm not… I don't care about that." He didn't point out that if she didn't care, she wouldn't be crying, but she walked off, anyway. She was going to compartmentalize that shit right where she had left Stevie's admittal at Happy Place. Them damn Evanses weren't going to keep engaging her emotions this way.

.

Matt went back to the hospital and by that time, Sam was alone. He figured that Stevie had finally convinced Mercedes to take a break, or they were with Cheri, leaning on each other, or something. He went into Sam's room and sat down near him. "Whenever my family originally died, I was broken beyond what I could comprehend. Everybody that I had was gone and since then, I've had to try to learn to trust people and forge my own family. By some twist of fate, or shit - I don't know, cruel joke on God's part - you and me wound up with the same fucking family. Every time I look at you, I have a visible reminder of my family and I know you get that. I know because of what you did to get yourself here that you understand how to feel about somebody that hurts your family. You didn't just hurt my family, you also hurt my wife, before I met her, and you've hurt me since then. If you were in my position, we both know that you'd kill you. You would have done it long ago. You would have done the worst that you could to hurt me back.

In that way, I've been pretty confident that I am a better person than you. But, you know what? I ain't throwing myself in front of nobody but Phai or Mattie. If I was there that night, I don't know if I would have thrown myself in front of anybody but Miracle. But, if that happened to your family, you would threw yourself in front of anybody, even Mary Evans. So, maybe in that way and that way alone, you're a better person than me. You've become a much more functional adult, too. So, I'll give you credits for that, as well. One thing… I read that journal entry to Stevie, where you say that if somebody did that to your family, you wouldn't forgive them. I don't think that I ever forgave you, either, at all. But, if you fight and get up for Stevie, I might." He stood up and leaned over him, to say in his ear, "It's harder to watch somebody you love hurt than it is to say goodbye to them. Please, don't make me have to see Stevie lose you. Wake the fuck up, Dude…"

Sam coughed and jumped when his eyes opened and Matt was standing over him. "Oh, shit… Did you die too?" He asked, worried. Matt's eyes went wide with shock that Sam was speaking, awake and seemed coherent. He opened Sam's hand and put the waded up journal entry page in it, then he went to the door and asked a nurse passing, "Is… This dude awake? I'm sorry - I have hallucinations sometimes when I'm distressed. For all I know, your ass is fake, but is he awake, anyway?" She nodded. "Okay, well, can you get a doctor and I'll grab his family?"

Sam looked at the paper in his hand, confused and he could hardly breathe without coughing, and coughing was painful as hell… But… He was pretty sure that he wasn't dead.

Whenever Stevie and Mercedes rushed into the room, cheerfully, he tried to smile, but that hurt too. Dang, that lady messed him up… Neither Stevie nor Mercedes wanted to touch him, scared that any little thing would send him right back unconscious or worst. The doctors asked them to step out so that they could check on everything and make sure that he was alright. Matt deadpan joked, "Well, I brought your brother back. Guess I'll move onto the next on your checklist." Stevie laughed and threw an arm around Matt. Matt turned suddenly, and caught the glimpse of Miracle, rushing away, but she vanished right before his eyes, and she looked okay. She looked happy. He looked at Stevie, and his eyes were troubled. This didn't make everything better, but he definitely needed it. He wasn't happy, but he was better. He needed his brother, and maybe this small step was a first one in the direction of Sam being okay.

Then again, there was still the matter of having to tell him about Dwight, especially now that it was national news. Matt squeezed Stevie and Mercedes' shoulders and left them with Sam, who still seemed alright, though the doctors decided to keep him in ICU. He was still in danger, but Mercy took this as a sign from God and Stevie was simply relieved that it wasn't too late.


	31. The Reach

**The Reach**

Marley picked up Jake and Bree from the airport, and took them to the hospital, pretty silently. Jake had thanked her and apologized for any inconvenience, but she brushed it off. She and Bree didn't say a single word to each other, and they never did. Marley didn't have anything against her. She wasn't involved with her, Jake was. Jake was the one that cheated and the one that hurt and betrayed her. Bree had not even been the only woman, but she was the woman that he decided to love next, so yes - Marley had some strong feelings about her, whether or not they were justified.

Marley awoke when Dwight's ringtone sounded on her phone and she was alarmed for a number of reasons. First, he never really called her unless he wanted her to finesse a surprise to Tanisha in an appearance or something, and if so - he called at a decent time. So, when she said "Marley Rose," she was already getting up and reaching for her bathrobe. And, as it turned out, it was Tanisha, and things were not well.

"Marley, it's me. My phone was in the house, and I don't know any numbers by heart. I called Stacie and she's coming, but I don't want her to have to make all these arrangements. She's mourning too. It would be selfish. I'll pay whatever for your time."

Marley turned on her bathroom light and sat on the toilet, partially awake and wholly confused. "Nish - what?"

"Oh, sorry. I didn't start this out right. Dwight got killed." Her voice was small and hurting and Marley only just 1. Realized that she had never heard Nish sound like this before, ever, 2. Realized that she had just said that Dwight was dead. 3. Woke up all the way. "Sorry to bother you. You're just always the… person who fixes and helps… Stevie has a Matt, and I have a Marley…"

"Of course you do. I am on it. I am going to do everything that I can. Where are you, right now?"

Ryder watched Marley make phone calls as she got dressed and got packed up, without ever even so much as explaining what was happening. She called the security specialists that she used in Tennessee to get immediate bodyguards on Nisha, made calls to see when and if she could send someone to the site of the fire, to see what could be salvaged, and also to keep looters away. She called the coroner to speak about what would be done, what she would need to do etc, as a representative of the family. She spoke with Nish's doctor, the detective who would be looking into the case, the airport, rental services, and Cheri, before ever even glancing at her husband. When she finally did, she said, "Sorry, an emergency came up and I have to fly to Tennessee."

"An emergency involving the Evanses, no less?" He said.

"You realize that I built my company on their backs, right?"

"Or they built their empire on yours. Some of them never would have made it anywhere without you…"

"Dwight was murdered by the KKK, and I care about and respected him, so if we could have this argument another time?" She snapped.

Ryder jumped out of bed, "Oh, Baby… I'm so sorry…" She waved a hand and shook her head. Ryder was often jealous of her connection to her ex's family, despite the fact that she no longer represented him or any of his siblings. She did still represent Nish and Cheri, and to a lesser degree (only when he came as a package deal with Nish, Dwight). But, she did still make money on certain projects that she had brokered beforehand, etc, and she still loved them. She personally checked on Mercedes, Cheri, Stevie, Stacie, and Nisha pretty regularly, and certainly after making all of her arrangements to go. Nisha couldn't even plan her own wedding, so a funeral while she was both injured and unbelievably upset was simply not even feasible. And maybe Marley _did_ still have too much comfort with rushing in for these people, but she would do it as long as she felt it necessary and this was surely one of those times.

"Cheri is hurt, too. She and Nish are in the hospital."

"Was Cheri in Tennessee?" Ryder wondered.

"No… This was… Something else."

"Something like what happens in the show? Something crazy and dangerous that nobody would want their spouse to go rushing into?" He asked.

"Yes, Ryder. Stuff like the stuff that happens on the show that has paid the bulk of your bills for at least six years!" She fussed, searching for her keys. "I will never understand how you have so much contempt for this family that has basically made you famous, because we both know your chances of a role this big. You lucked out getting cast as Sam Evans, and your agent thought it was a shitty little assignment that you'd do on your way to bigger things. It is that network's most prosperous show - Where the HELL are my keys?" He sighed and grabbed the key bowl. She snatched them out of it and explained, "They're more than my work family. They're like my family. And yes, I have emotional history with them, but I married _you._ I love you." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and rushed out.

When she got to the hospital, Nish was asleep, but the guard was present. She showed him her ID, so that he realized that she was the one that he was working for. She had banned the mother-in-law and made a very specific list with the hospital of who _was_ allowed to come into this room, which Nisha decided was the kids, their spouses and their kids. She couldn't stomach anybody else, except for Marley, obviously.

Stacie and Joe arrived a while later, as they drove instead of flew, because they weren't sure how long it would take to get Dwight's body back from the investigative team, but if she had to remove Mama T from the place, she didn't want her trying to get on a plane in her condition. A seven hour drive would be uncomfortable, but she could cope however she needed to, without so much turbulence. She wanted to get on that one hour flight, but had to remind herself that she had to think ahead. The boys were both out of commission for the moment and she was once again, seemingly the only Evans able to hold her own… And this time, she didn't have Daddy to fall back on, if that happened to not be true. Marley was picking up Jake whenever they got in, so they all waited for him to come before getting into anything, so that they wouldn't have to repeat the same troubling stories over and over.

When everybody got there, the guard was checking IDs and didn't see Bree's name on the list. Marley went in to ask Nish how she felt about it, because she wasn't sure what was what with those two, but Nish didn't seem to like her, so Marley wanted it to be as painless as possible. But, Bree offered, "I'll go check out the house, see if I see stuff that can be salvaged, since there's guards there and stuff already…" She was down the hall when Marley came out and told the guard that he could add her on. Jake sighed and let her go ahead to the house.

He came into the room and hugged his mother. "Mom, I am so sorry…" She shook her head, unable to form any words, again. She had a joke in there somewhere. That was how she coped with pain, but this level of pain seemed to cut her sense of humor down to size.

.

Once everyone was there, they got onto a computer group chat with Cheri, Stevie and Mercedes, in Cheri's hospital room and Jake, Stacie and Mama T, in Mama T's room. The children were all safely with friends, and Sam was still unconscious, so they had time and relative privacy. Jake could hardly believe that he missed all of this. "I turned off the phone and went to sleep, because we had been on this Hawaii trip and I wanted to catch up on rest before starting my next wave of auditions. But, since we're in a small NYC apartment with thin walls, I guess there wasn't a way to really pull off anything like this. I didn't get up until some chick knocked on the door and apologetically explained that Madison sent her to see if we were alive and if we were to contact all of you. Bree paid her for her troubles in weed…" He hugged his mother again, "When I saw all the missed calls, I was really scared and upset. I had no idea it was this bad…"

Mercedes wondered, "What is the situation with his body?"

Marley explained, from the background of Mama T's room, "Nish wanted the full autopsy, and they also have to get ballistics to better help them to catch whoever did this, if it wasn't one of the ones found on the scene."

The television was muted, but closed captioned and speaking about the tragedy. It caught Tanisha's attention and she complained, "Why are they speaking about these people as though they were all victims. There was only one murder victim at that house and that was my husband. Marley!"

"I am getting in touch with the news station, right now," She said, getting on her phone.

Mercedes summed up, "So, basically, they might have Papa D's body a little longer than they would if he hadn't been killed, so that they can punish the guilty?"

"Basically," Stacie said, still feeling like she was sleepwalking, but at least this much of her family was still safe.

Tanisha said, "Because we definitely want everyone guilty to be brought to justice and to punished to the fullest extent of the law…" Mercedes was about to say Amen, but Tanisha spoke again, "No… No, I don't. I want them hunted down, surrounded, terrified, shot, set on fire, and left to die, thinking about everything that they're about to lose as they come closer to their last breath. They don't deserve anything less than what they did to him…" She cried, turning her gaze to the window.

Stevie said, solemnly, "Mama T, I promise you - if I find them first, that is _exactly_ what is going to happen to them." She slightly smirked, but then remembered Dwight's face the last time she saw him. She was petrified, and she could tell that he was frightened, too… but he still went out… to protect her. He was more afraid of losing her than he was of losing his own life.

She started crying again, while Marley fussed, "The problem is the sympathy that this report seems to be shedding onto the people who killed this man, because they died in the process of attacking him. The only person who was murdered was the owner of the house and all of the other bodies on the property were assailants. You could have easily have reported the truth - that this brave man lost his life on his property, standing his ground against these klansmen terrorists!"

Jake wondered, "I thought that the people that you were in bad with weren't the klan, though…"

Stevie explained, "They aren't, but it isn't unheard of for hate groups to work together or at least to take up an assignment attacking a common enemy. I've been taking down a lot of different groups' people…" He glanced at Cheri and she just strummed his hair in support and comfort. "Maybe I was a big enough pain in the ass that they were willing to send in big guns…"

His eyes teared up and Cheri kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "It wasn't your fault."

Hearing that, Mama T turned to the laptop again, "It wasn't your fault. Whenever I saw Maybelle, I _should_ have hit her in the face with that ice bucket. Instead, I just stood there, looking surprised and confused."

"What are we talking about?" Stacie asked. Tanisha sighed and covered her face with one of her hands.

Marley, even though she was on the phone said softly, "Maybelle shot Nish, probably to get Dwight into the kitchen, within sight of that kitchen door. That was where they initially threw in the torches, but he was guarding it, so even though it was the first hit room, it has the least fire damage…" Then more harshly, she said, "NO, I was actually talking to my client's family, because we're sorting through the murder of her husband, a murder that your station has trivialized by placing right next to his attackers' deaths. You will be hearing from our lawyer. I don't have the time to explain to you again what is wrong with your poor choices…" She was already heading to her stash of tissues to give one to Stacie, who she supposed up until just now for some reason thought that her Aunt Maybelle was simply hanging out at her ex brother-in-law's house with his wife that she did not particularly get along with.

Stevie nodded his head, feeling bad for Stacie, but observed, "That makes it make sense that she was shot with the same shotgun as the others…" Jake looked at Stacie and gave Stevie a neck slash gesture on his observation. But, Stevie simply said, "Stace - she shot Mama T and helped to kill Daddy. Don't give her no tears…"

"These are for Daddy. He hated Aunt Maybelle. I asked him to try to make peace with her, because she looked like Mama and she said that she still loved us… This… Is _my_ fault."

Jake said, "There is a lot of inward thumb pointing happening, when the fact of the matter is that everything that happened, no matter who did what else, everybody involved in these groups made a choice to come after us. They've beaten up on enough Evanses, let's not beat on us, too."

Mercedes now spoke up again, "I want to go check on Sam, again. I know that we're kinda fortified in this place, but the fact that they didn't hit everywhere and the fact that he's still living - I don't know… I worry."

Tanisha said, "Sure. Do whatever you can for and with your husband. You never know when it's the last kiss…" She waved to Marley, "Can you gather me a drink?"

"Despite the fact that the doctor specifically told me and you that you can't drink and also the fact that only trusted people are allowed in here and if somebody does bring you anything, we all know that it was somebody that was supposed to have your best interests in mind?" Marley confirmed.

"Despite that, yes."

"See if you can bamboozle the current girlfriend into that when she gets back," Marley told her.

"When she gets back, my ass. She's going to the house. I'm texting her to see if the wine cellar is safe, and to empty it out," she said texting. "She wants to win me over as much as you did. I got this whiskey and wine in the bag."

"She still has to make it across that threshold and passed me to give it to you," Marley warned. Tanisha rolled her eyes, but there was something like a smile in them. She actually respected Marley, a lot and appreciated her so much for this and for everything.

A few minutes later, Cheri jumped and they heard something of excitement in the background and she cheered, "Okay, okay, okay… Get back there. Definitely…" She looked at the laptop and said, "Sam's awake!"

Stacie accidentally screamed out loud, then covered her mouth and patted Mama T on the shoulder and apologized. Cheri was climbing out of the bed and saying, "I'm gonna get dressed and I'ma bring this laptop in there…"

"I mean… He don't know, though…" They heard Stevie say in the background.

"Okay, so…" She leaned over in the view of the camera again and said, "Sam doesn't know about Papa Dwight, so… somebody who knows better needs to tell me what the best situation is here? Should we give him the laptop and y'all tell him, or should we tell him first, then all get on the laptop and try to see him through it together, or… what?"

She was moving the thing around a lot, as she held it to her face while walking down the hospital hall.

Marley wondered, "Is he in any condition to receive any word? Because, if he's been in and out of surgery and his vitals aren't yet fully stable, I would not recommend saying anything to him about it. But, I know Sam well enough to know that if you get on this group chat, the first thing that he is going to notice is the absence of Dwight and he'll be paying attention to any attempts to cover up what happened. I would suggest closing the call and resuming later, when Sam is not present."

"Okay, but won't he be upset that we withheld this?" Cheri asked.

Marley said, "Of course he will, but right now, we're trying to keep him from a medical emergency. He'll have to be upset with us for that after they've got him stable enough to handle bad news of this magnitude."

"There is no such state," Tanisha said. "Cheri, go see him and send him every hug, kiss and best wish that you can from me…" She shut the laptop and handed it to Marley.

Later when Bree came in, Marley asked her for the bags and searched to make sure that there was no alcohol in any of it. Bree announced, "The house was fortunately not as burned as they made it sound. Everything smells like smoke and the walls are black in a lot of places and stuff is really wet, because they put out the fires, but Papa Dwight built that shit to last and withstand a beast. God rest his soul." Marley handed her the bag to give to Tanisha, and watched to make sure she hadn't smuggled anything inside in her own purse, or anything. "I got almost everything that you specifically asked for. None of it was destroyed, if I got the right things."

Tanisha pulled things from the bag, staring at them, attached each to memories that were on a list no longer going to grow. She replaced them and nodded her head, "Thank you, Bree." She touched her hand and squeezed it and Bree didn't know if that was a sign of extreme vulnerability or the end of the world, but now she was laying down again, ready to go back to sleep or at least shut her eyes and cry some more.

.

Sam couldn't move on his own, but the doctor adjusted the bed for him and they were checking his vitals very frequently. He handed Stevie something and said, "This was in my hand. I don't know what it is, but I can't move to look at it." Stevie opened the page, then folded it and put it in his pocket. "I thought I saw Matt. What are the drugs I'm on? I can't even feel my face. Wait… am I paralyzed?"

"You're wiggling your feet, so I don't think that you are," Stevie said.

"Also, everything from the neck to the butt hurts, so I guess maybe that's why I can't move. I took a breath and felt like it shattered my ribs."

"Then why are you still talking? Is this not painful?" Mercedes asked.

"I felt obligated. Y'all came charging in very happily like y'all were waiting to me to wake up or something…" Cheri came into the room with the folded laptop and smiled at Sam. He furrowed his eyebrows and asked, "Wait, you're up? How long was I dead?"

"I barely got hurt, Man. I got stitches in my hands and they had to open up my throat. Pain meds and bed rest is all I need. Though this walk was a journey…"

"Y'all get hold of everybody?" he asked.

Mercedes fussed, "Stop talking! You said everything hurts. I'm content to just hold your hand and know that you're fine!" It was a smooth subject change, and Sam was in a lot of pain, so he didn't say anything. Instead, he just held her hand and looked at Stevie and Cheri whisper to each other a little and then just hold each other and watch him. Mercedes began to sing in a low voice, strumming the palm of his hand with her fingertips and sporadically kissing his hand, crying happy tears.

"Wait, where are the kids?" Sam asked.

"With Phai," Stevie said.

"Okay. Wait! Do they have guards?"

"Yes! Dammit, man. Shut up and rest and let us just watch over you joyously. The fuck? Goddamn!" Stevie complained, slightly entertained, slightly scared that if they kept talking, he was going to somehow get to the troubling news about Dwight. Sam's vitals made some type of movement and Stevie gasped and shook his head, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, It's okay. I was just playing, but look at how fragile you are, right now… Okay? It was scary for all of us, seeing you like this…" Sam reached for his chest and glanced around. "Do you need that oxygen thing back?" Stevie asked, rushing to try to help him. "You got punctures on your lungs, along with everything else. That bitch was trying to kill the shit out of you."

"What happened to her?" Sam wondered.

"I killed her. What else?" Stevie asked. Sam sadly looked straight ahead. _Great. What was wrong with him now? "_ You alright Sammy?"

"I didn't want you to have to go around killing over me," Sam managed.

"I've killed people that I hated less for hurting people I loved less," Stevie said, in a joking voice and got the oxygen back on Sam. "Get some rest and don't worry about anything but getting better."

.

They were there for a while longer, but he went back to sleep and Cheri ended up back in her bed, more tired than she thought that she should be with the injuries that she had… Like she forgot that she had also been battling cancer and been traveling just hours before she was attacked. Her body wasn't rested for much. By the time that Aphasia returned with the children in the evening, she had cleaned them all up, gotten them changed into the clothes that Matt had packed for them, and done all of their hair for them. "Thank you, Aphasia," Cheri said. She simply nodded her head, before leaving. Cheri looked at Stevie and he put a finger up and followed Aphasia out.

"Hey, hey, hey…" He caught up with her and wondered, "Is something wrong?" She gave him a duh look. "I mean, obviously, other than the fact that my family was attacked in at least two different cities and several members hospitalized…"

"That's not my problem, or Matt's, but here we are, again."

"You didn't have to come," Stevie told her, annoyed.

"You right. But, like I said, here we are."

"What is your problem?"

"Why you sent Matt after that journal?"

"Bullshit. You were pissed off before that."

"No, I wasn't. I just don't like her. She's sometimey with me and I've been over her since she _banned me_ from your house because your brother injured _my husband._ So, that wasn't me being pissed. I just don't fuck with her like that. _This_ is me being pissed. Why did you do that to him?"

"I didn't _do it_ to him…"

"This is just like you confiding in me about your fucked up shit at the ranch. Like, do you ever just let niggas live? Shit, life is stressful enough, but we gotta keep on with this type of shit?"

"Do… You need a hug? Because, my dad was murdered last night and my wife and brother almost died in front of me, and I don't remember taking that out on you…"

"No, just dragging my recently recovering from a breakdown husband through scene after scene of bodies, knowing that his trauma is connected to violent deaths! Then, you have to push him to try to forgive your brother? He was already sensitive about seeing him like that. He was scrubbing the seats of his car outside at 6 am to try to get his blood out! He could have relapsed. But, of course, he was here, with his _brother._ Stevie… I'm sorry that your family is going through this, but I honestly don't know why you insist on backing me into corners when I'm trying not to go off on you about shit!"

"I love you and Matt and I don't like you and Cheri not getting along. I'm sorry that even in the face of dying and nearly dying loved ones, I want the best for the ones I've got! My bad. My bad. I'm a piece of shit."

"See… This is stuff that you can go do with your wife, but we're not about to stand here and circumvent this shit like this. I'm sorry for your loss," she said and turned around. Stevie continued to follow her.

"And I'm sorry if all this triggered something in Matt!" He said it angrily.

"Okay, thank you!" She snapped, just as angrily.

"Yeah! No fucking problem!" He stormed off, with his arms folded and came back into the room to Cheri as the kids were crowded in her bed, about to watch a movie.

"You okay?" She asked. He nodded his head, but he was still mad. By tomorrow, he and Aphasia probably both would be fine and cool, but she did make him extremely angry, with her self-centered ass, which he didn't know if that was accurate, since technically, this was Matt-centered. She was overprotective of him, just like he was of Cheri, so he understood to a certain extent and he was also pretty salty that Cheri was trying to be polite to her, but she was holding on to old stuff! He heard a car screeching and he turned around right when somebody almost crashed right into her. She jumped back and they missed her, but then they got out of the car and instead of apologizing and checking on her, they grabbed her. Stevie rushed towards them and helped her to fight them off. The person ran off, leaving the car and Stevie gave chase to him. "Stevie, don't!" Aphasia screamed, reaching for her gun and running behind the two of them. Someone else got into the car and drove off. "Stevie, he ain't alone!" She screamed and pointed her gun at him. He could be running Stevie right into a damn trap!"

"Drop it!" Aphasia heard and she put both of her hands in the sky as the police pulled up on her, guns drawn.

"Okay, I know how this looks, but…"

"I said drop it!" He yelled and she set it down, shaking as she did. They kicked it away from her and tackled her to the ground, subduing her roughly. _Where did they even come from?_ She tried to control her breathing, because she was more afraid than she would like to admit.

"Excuse me, but I have a license for this."

"You think you have a license to just point it in a public place?"

"My friend is in danger. His family was attacked. His dad was killed in Tennessee, it's all over the news. They're some dangerous dudes and I was just trying to help."

"Girl, what? Shut the fuck up with that bullshit." He cuffed her and picked her up from the ground to throw her into the police car.

"That's that Rutherford girl. Troublemaker. Used to always come in for stalking Jesse St. James."

"She said she was pointing the gun at some dangerous killer that killed a guy in Tennessee or something."

"The Evans guy? Yeah - she's a friend of the Evanses."

"The Pastor Evans or the Cop Hater Evans?"

"It's the same family, but she's friends with the radical." They looked at Stevie, coming back, practically dragging someone. "What the hell is up, now?"

Stevie marched up, with the driver, his face bloodied and announced, "How do I turn in a citizen's arrest?"

"What?"

"This dude tried to hit my friend with a car, then attacked her person and he ran when I came, somebody came and got the car and I don't know that he ain't involved with the people that killed my daddy, because he's sure acting suspicious. But, he tried to harm her… Wait… Why is she under arrest? What did she do?"

"Waved a gun around in public." The cop said.

"That doesn't sound like her. You're sure that she didn't just have it pointed carefully at this guy? She wouldn't have fired unless she was a clean shot…"

"That's not how the laws work."

"So, you definitely know the letter of the law about the open carry, then," Stevie asked, ready to debate him, but Officer Goolsby drove up and got out of his car, and Stevie threw his hands into the air, "Finally. Somebody that knows something. I have this for you," he said, "A citizen's arrest that may have information about the attacks on my family. I need her out of that car. All she did was try to get this guy for me.."

Goolsby rolled his eyes and told the others, "I'll take care of all of this." When it was just them, he put the assailant in the car and said, "How much do you think this guy might know?"

"He's low totem, so probably not much confirmed. Those types are usually the ones with the biggest mouths, though. He's bound to have heard at least a name."

"That sounds flimsy. She was waving a gun around in public."

"There is absolutely, positively, no way that she was waving that gun around. Pointing it, very cautiously, perhaps. Waving it? No. That did not happen. Listen… Remember that time that you came and got that suicide case and we helped you with that and stuff?"

"I remember you lied your asses off, got away with trying to kill somebody, and went on to actually do so later."

"That's oversimplification, but remember how well you did on the case, because Matt helped, though?"

"I don't remember anything like that."

"Okay. It was one of the most successful federal cases and you still get to say you helped when you didn't do nothing but pretend that you never let Aryan brotherhood rape dudes on your watch as a corrections officer, and look slick." Goolsby sighed and opened the car door to get Aphasia out. "Yeah, I figured that the I know what you did card would apply, especially with one of those victims lying up in the hospital, fighting for his life, a pastor, a pillar of the community and supporter of the law enforcement…"

"I'm letting her go, Asshole!"

"Thank you, Asshole. Take this," he said and shoved the dude to him. Goolsby removed Aphasia's cuffs and Stevie put an arm around her and walked her back to the hospital.

"What did that dude know?"

"He knew that Preston Schuester is in touch with some of his national connections."

"Preston Schuester… That's probably how his ass only served two years of a twenty five year sentence. That motherfucker is a walking episode of Billions."

"I'm gonna get his ass," Stevie said. When they came back into the room, opening the laptop and crowing it, Cheri glanced at them, got a nod from Stevie and knew that to mean to proceed without worry, so she left him and Aphasia to whatever they were about to work on.

.

By July 14th (Phai's birthday), Sam was still recovering, but out of ICU. He was in stable condition, and not high risk for some of the infections that they were worried about. He did need an additional surgery, and he was going to have a long recovery, but he was well enough to talk to about everything. Cheri was out of the hospital. Mama T was back in Ohio, taking a break, and drinking a lot. Stevie wanted to see his friend for her birthday, but she had insisted that Matt's gift to her would be for him to use that as a mental health day, which meant that unless a complete emergency came up, she wasn't letting anyone near him.

About two weeks had passed since the first attack, and since then there had been many small incidents that they couldn't tell if it was them being messed with, or failed plots to get to them, because now, there was a lot of attention on them, considering everything going on with them. With the whole family back in the same space, and Sam well enough, Stevie and Stacie came to the decision that it was finally time for them to tell Sam, and the children about Dwight. He knew that something was up. He knew for a while now. He wasn't sure how dire it was, but nobody had mentioned his father and he had not called to see about him or come to see him. The only way that would ever happen is if he simply just couldn't. Sam was injured, not an idiot. But now, they were all gathered in his room, Mama T limped in, staggering, barely able to stand, even though she had a cane that she was walking with. Everyone came in and Marley was with Holly Holliday, who had a projector on her computer that she turned on, but didn't play her recording yet.

Marley started out by saying, "Some of you know why we are here and some of you don't. We have a few things for you all to watch. The first thing is to help the children understand a little bit better what has taken place." She looked at Sam, sadly and said, "And the second one is Mr. Evans' wishes." Sam bit his lip. "Sam, you were unwell and none of us wanted to risk your health, therefore, we waited on telling you, and we also waited on telling the kids, what I think from your facial expression you have probably gathered. Dwight is no longer with us. We lost him on that night."

"That was like two weeks ago," Sam said, tears already falling.

"You needed the time to get well enough to even hear this."

"How did we lose Papa Dwight?" Heaven wondered, curiously.

Cowboy muttered, a little bit angrily, "That means that he's dead and never coming back!"

"What happened?" Sam wondered.

"Something atrocious," Marley said and shook her head. It's been in the national news for the past couple of weeks and one of the reasons we've been able to get the doctors and nurses to agree not to turn on the TV. That is something that we don't want to really share with the kids, but we do have a documentary on understanding death…" Holly played the documentary while the children were seated front and center, in chairs lined up in front of Sam's bed and the adults talked quietly at the bed.

"What happened?"

"He was murdered trying to save my life," Tanisha said and took his hand. "I'm so sorry."

"So… Stevie's house _wasn't_ the only one hit. They hit y'all, in Tennessee? Did they hit others? What else are y'all keeping from me?" Cowboy shushed them, not to be rude, but because they were too loud and he was worried that the smaller kids would overhear something as troubling as their nightmares for the past couple of weeks.

Marley reported softly everything that happened from that night, until now. Sam shook his head and looked at Stevie, "That's why you've been nice to me."

"Yes and no. There's no need to keep being angry when tomorrow isn't promised… I love you and I want things to be okay, again."

"And Aunt Maybelle shot you," he said turning towards Tanisha. She lifted her shirt to show the patch on her ribs. "You're bleeding…" He said. She lowered her shirt. "Should you be drinking?" He asked.

"Who's going to make me stop?" she asked back, and faced the front.

"I knew that he was probably hurt. I even was scared that he might be in a coma or had gotten himself locked up for hurting someone behind all of this, but… He's gone… Daddy's… Gone home to the Lord…" He sniffled and Mercedes cradled his face in her bosom.

Holly turned off the documentary as it went off and asked the children if they had any questions about the video that they had just watched. Heaven raised his hand, "That video didn't talk about heaven."

Bliss laughed and said, "That's not your video!"

"No, like God's Heaven, Bliss!" Heaven said, shaking his head.

Cowboy snapped, "Because there isn't any heaven and there isn't any God. Bad people killed Papa Dwight and he's gone forever and they can kill whoever they want and get away with it, because nobody cares!" He practically screamed. Bliss started crying and rushed over to his mother. Stevie went to collect Cowboy and pulled him outside to try to talk to him about things. Sheva rubbed Charmaine's back and handed her her sippy cup, even though she didn't need it or ask for it. Sterling hugged himself tightly and just looked around the room, worried until Cheri collected him and went to go find Stevie and Cowboy.

Marley said, "I think that I will take the children to the cafeteria for soft serve ice cream while the rest of you view Dwight's will." Bliss stayed with Mercedes, and Sam tried to rub his face and give him kisses to calm him down.

Tanisha said, "I don't know if I can watch this thing…" Sam took her hand with his free one and she squeezed his hand with all of her might. It was a while before Stevie and Cheri came back in, having consoled their son and sent him to have ice cream with his cousins.

Bliss went to sleep on Mercedes, so that was most likely what was wrong with him when Cowboy had his meltdown. Stevie worried, "They're going to be so messed up from all of this. It's our biggest fear, coming true!"

"No, no they aren't. They're already seeking professional help. They're already on the road to recovery. They are going to be so much better than we've ever been and they might even be functional, too!" She cupped his face and held his hand.

Holly asked, "Is everyone ready for me to play the recording?" They all looked at Sam and Mama T. She just cried and he squeezed her hand and nodded his head for the lawyer to press play on her laptop.


	32. The Reading

**The Reading**

 _Dwight had on his reading glasses and Tanisha, from behind the camera said, "Dwight Evans, and your old man eyes readers, how do you and your glasses feel about making this with the same equipment that we use to watch ourselves have sex?" He turned red and she laughed, "Why are you blushing? There is nobody here but us!"_

" _But, you're recording though," he said, laughing._

" _Um, OBVIOUSLY by the time they see this, that part will be edited out, and if not, at least Stevie will have something to laugh about." She came over on the other side and gave him a kiss on top of the head, then started leaving._

" _Stay," he said._

" _Can I do that? That doesn't make it like… not like a real will or whatever? Because, we both know that I can't have a serious conversation about you dying, so I will ruin this entire attempt with jokes…"_

" _Well, if they're watching this… They might need a laugh or two…" She was already about to cry. Dwight chuckled, "Ummm…?"_

" _Sorry! You're talking about you dying, what the fuck you expect? Of course that makes me cry. What the hell would I even do? Nobody has ever loved me the way that you love me and by the time you die, which better be a super long time from now, then I'll be old and falling apart and probably just wilt away myself."_

" _Well, you don't look a day over 35 right now, so even if I live to be a hundred, we know that I'll look like a pile of dust and you'll be a Gilf, or is it a GMilf? What's the terminology for hot grandmas?"_

" _I don't know, but I'm the photo next to whatever the entry is. Already a Gilf. 8 grandchildren. Hello, somebody!"_

" _Jake's gonna have a good eight by himself if he keeps hopping around…"_

" _AYYYOOOOOOO!" She called._

Jake sniffled and wiped his eye. He hadn't cried about this, even though it was sad to see his mother grieving and his siblings hurt this bad. He cared about Papa Dwight, too, but not like they all did. But, watching them together again, and happily enjoying each other like they usually did was starting to get to him. Tanisha noticed and went to wrap her arm around him and kissed him on the cheek.

" _Okay. So, when we edit, cut literally ALL of that out," Dwight said._

" _Definitely," she said._ The room laughed at the face Dwight gave her, the doubtful face that she would get around to it. " _I will! I mean, not today or tomorrow. I have drinking plans."_

 _Dwight adjusted his reading glasses and looked at his paper. "I, Dwight Anderson Evans, being of sound mind and body, would like to express my wishes and plans for after I am gone." Mama T looked highly uncomfortable, staring at the floor as Dwight read, "Fortunately, I have already selected burial spots and purchased them for myself and my wife…"_

" _Well damn, now you're trying to kill me too?" She asked and winked at him._

" _Yeah, right. I'd kill FOR you. Die for you… never would kill you or even hurt you…"_

" _Yikes. It was a joke. My humor is dampened by this whole 'you dying' subject."_

" _You don't have to entertain anybody."_

" _No, but I know that if we're watching this, my life as I know it is over and I'm trying to cheer her up. Hi, future me! You look great! Dwight, tell her she looks great. She needs to hear that you love her. It's probably been days since she heard your voice."_

 _Dwight smiled, looked at the camera and said, "You're beautiful and I love you. From beyond the grave. I don't know if that's romantic or creepy, but it's true. Silly thing like death ain't stopping my love…" She smiled at the camera, at herself._

Meanwhile, present-day Mamma T was crying. She was crying hard. Tanisha was not ready for any of this. A short while back, Dwight was starting to have muscle and joint problems, and she insisted that he see a doctor, hounded the doctor for every detail that was not spoken of, but she had read on the Internet, to make him rule out everything before they went home. Then, she nagged him about work, treatment, and everything that could possibly be related. It was one time that she could remember that he was honestly sick of her and annoyed by all of her meddling and overexcitement. She freaked out when he had to change his diet a little bit because of his cholesterol. She obsessed over him when he had the flu last winter… How. Could. He. Leave? She begged him not to do this! She insisted that they try to get out together! Maybe she would be dead too… but that had to be better than this. Anything had to be better than this.

" _The burial plots are in Ohio, since all of you have settled there, namely Stacie. I know how important visiting graves at important times is to you. Daddy's sorry that he couldn't live forever for you. This is the first time that we'll be so far apart. The first time that you know you won't get a call back from me. But, if you ever need to talk to me, I'd like to think that I'll be available. Even if I live to be 100; I know that you and I have stayed close."_ Stacie laid her head onto Joe and began shaking with her tears.

" _The lawyer will have all the information about the plots. Never let anybody sell them. The last thing I need is to find out that me and Nish aren't side by side forever. Stevie - I'm charging you with the task of making sure that never happens. Guard them spots with… " He thought for a moment, before just saying, "Not with your life. But, passionately, okay? Only thing you guard with your life is the wife and kids."_

" _Okay, but y'all guard everything with your lives!" She complained._

" _I don't know if I'm honored or offended that you feel that way, but it ain't true. If it ain't Evans, I will not guard it with my LIFE."_

" _Okay, but your kids will. At least one of them…" They both said, "Stevie."_

 _Dwight quickly added, "Stevie, I repeat, don't guard the plots with your life, but do put the fear of God in anybody that tries to possibly separate us." Tanisha interlocked hands with Dwight and he smiled at her, seemingly being distracted by her beauty - an affliction that happened to him at times…_

The past couple of weeks, when she woke up in the morning, for a moment, she would turn over and expect to see him sleeping, mouth wide open, making sounds that she often teased him about because they were virtually inhuman (was that a snort or an oink? Etc.) She would turn over and he wouldn't be there and she would reach for her phone, not ready to get up out of bed and she would be about to call him and see if he was in the house… Then, she would remember, he's not in the house. She's not in the house. She's in the hospital. He's in the morgue. And, she would begin her hours of crying.

" _To my wife, Tanisha Evans, I leave my Ohio house. Nisha has already told me that she don't want to be in Tennessee without me, because everything will remind her of me.."_

" _Everything will still remind me of you in Ohio, but I'll be closer to our kids and grans, so…"_

" _Also, Nisha will keep all of my handmade furniture, and anything movable that I built with my own hands, unless granted specifically to one of my descendants. She's the beneficiary on my insurance policy, so she gets all of the money from that, as well as half of Evans-Strong Construction Company._

 _To my firstborn son, Samuel Adam Evans - you gave me a construction company the moment that you got some money in your pocket. You insisted that I take that trailer and the supplies and turn it into my own business. I didn't believe that a father should be given their success by their child. But, since you helped me and I was able to build my business, now that it has exploded into success, and I hope that when I'm gone that it is still flourishing; I am going to give that company to you. Nisha will own half the company, and she knows exactly how I run things, and my model, but I hope that the two of you would get on one accord to hold on to it, or sell your shares, or hire someone else to run things. I'd prefer to keep it in the family. It was what I always wanted and, you, my son made that possible for me. If there is interest and room for any Evans in the company, I strongly support bringing them in._

 _On a smaller scale, I also leave Sam all of my fishing gear, a guitar to be listed later and the rest of my musical equipment, except for guitars given to others in this will, and any living pets that I own at the time of my death. Take the doghouse from Tennessee, if you need it. I should be making sure that it stays in good condition, or build new ones whenever they aren't…"_

Mercedes whispered to whoever "Where are the dogs now?"

"At the Ohio house. Stacey and Joe brought them back when they brought Mama T here," Cheri said.

" _To my son, Steven James Evans, I leave all of my filming equipment and hunting gear. There's some real estate I want you to have, which will be on the breakdown paperwork. I'm hoping that it can be helpful to you, since you now know how to handle real estate matters. I'm really proud of you for getting into an actual career. That's not to say that your celebrity stuff wasn't real work… I just appreciate that you finished school and did something that will sustain you, if all of the other stuff fades."_

" _To my only daughter, well… I feel like I have so many other kids now, after having met all of my kids' friends, but my only daughter, from my loins, Stacie Joan Evans-Hart. Or… I think she dropped her Evans…"_

" _She dropped it like it was hot, Babe."_

" _Stacie Joan Hart, I leave you the Tennessee house. You're the one that still keeps in touch with my family, Mary's family and I just think it might be a nice thing for you to have, since you're the one that I most envision needing that much room for gatherings and stuff. I built it with us and y'all in mind for many years. You can pass it on to the kids and it can seriously be a multi-generation house for many generations, just like the Ohio house, but in Tennessee."_

"I don't want that house," Stacie said, crying. "Sell it." She left the room, shaking her head, unable to see anything else. Holly paused the record and cleared her throat.

"Keep going. We won't swindle her," Tanisha said. She wanted to get this over with. Holly nodded once and continued to play it.

" _There's a lot of land there, too. You'll have so much to work with for the things that you love. I'm also leaving you all of my tools, the gardening tools, the construction tools, the machinery… I couldn't get your brothers into it. And all of my camping gear is going to be Joe's. Joe Hart, Stacie's husband…" He looked at Tanisha, who was crying pretty hard and trying to keep her face off camera. "Sweetheart…" He practically whined, sad to see her so upset right now._

" _Don't look at me," she said. He set his paper down and went to check on her._

 _She hugged him and he rubbed her back. "It's not like I'm about to die right now. It's just good to have guidelines. I'll probably edit and change this thing a hundred times between now and dying…"_

" _I hate thinking about it..."_ Everyone in the room was crying, now. Mama T was crying, shaking and unable to turn away from the recording, even though she looked like it was killing her to watch it. Sam tried to hold himself together, as crying hurt his chest, but he couldn't help it, with this raw, candid moment that said so much about how she must be feeling right now, considering how hard it was for her to just imagine…

 _Then, Dwight said, "Y'all, please look after her. I know, I know - Mama T is the tough cookie and nothing bothers her. She's always strong and she laughs through every situation, that y'all can see… But… I'm sure Jake knows firsthand that living with her is something different and she's really soft and sensitive and emotional."_

" _You're making me look like a punk, Sir," she said, wiping her eyes._

" _Jake's seen you, I'm sure," he told her._

" _You think that with the measelly hours of my day that I has chances to spend with my only son his whole childhood that I_ _**ever**_ _tainted one of those with shedding tears in front of him?"_

 _He chuckled and pulled back from the hug to look at her face. "Did you say "measelly?" Like… having the measles."_

" _Like small!"_

" _Yeah, but the way that you pronounced it, though…"_

" _I KNOW your country bumpkin, putting an R at the end of the color yellow and the word SWALLOW ass is NOT trying to come for how I say something!"_

" _I'm from Tennessee. You're from Ohio. Ohio is non-regional. You just can't say words good!" He laid his accent on thick._

" _This whole recording is gonna be inadmissible," she said._

" _You… think that they're taking each other to court?" He laughed heartily, "Probably to fight over making each other keep my junk instead of them!"_

" _What junk? You don't have one piece of junk. You make stuff out of junk! Like, nice stuff. One of your many talents. Taking something that's trash and making it beautiful."_

 _Dwight blushed, returned to his seat, and looked at his paper again, confessing, "I never told y'all this, but the reason that your Mama T lays on the compliments so thick is because I might have told her early in our friendship that my first wife didn't compliment me much and so any time she compliments me, she's both attempting to be a better wife to me, and also attempting to get me more used to accepting compliments."_

" _It's been two years and he has not gotten any better at it," she said, to the camera._

" _I have, too!" He defended._

" _You just blushed and smiled because I said that you have many talents!"_

" _Blushing and smiling_ is _a good reaction, isn't it?"_

" _Yeah, but… I meant like… You're still not used to the compliments, not that you react badly. I love the reaction. You are such an adorable blusher… Blushie… Blush Daddy…" He laughed, but blushed more. "I'll make you blush a lot more when this camera stops."_

 _He turned bright red and waved his hands, "Cut!"_

" _What? There's no director! What you think this is?" She cackled as he got up and stopped it._

 _Whenever it started again, Dwight was in the same clothes, but tousled and Mama T was not on camera anymore. Dwight cleared his throat and straightened his hair, and said, "She makes everything so difficult, but that was more because this kind of thing really is difficult for her. Hopefully, she's not too mad at me for telling y'all this, but she's honestly probably in her worst shape, right now, as you're watching this. She's very sensitive and caring. She tries to deny her emotions and place them aside; but she has been one of the most loving and comforting people I have ever met, so how can anybody not realize that also means that she hurts hard, too. And, I'm not bragging when I say that nobody has ever loved her the way that I do. I have actively spent our time together making sure that I prove that I love her everyday, and now… That's gone. That's gotta be quite an adjustment._

 _I didn't even really like your mom by the time she died and that was a hard adjustment, just because I was so used to her. I love your Mama T, and since she recently married me, I think it's probably mutual, but if she loves me even half as much as I love her, she is not anywhere close to okay. So… while I got you alone, I want to entrust my most prized possession to each of my kids - and that's your mother… My wife… I know, I know, she ain't a possession, and all of that, but just, please, in my absence, look after her, until at least she can start smiling again and cracking jokes. If she can crack jokes, she's alright, but might still be hurting. Look at her eyes. They tell on her…_

 _Jake, you reach a part of her heart that nobody else can, so she'll need your help when it's breaking. Stevie, you reach a part of her mind that nobody else can, so she could use you to help her think things through. Sammy, you could reach her spiritually and she'll need some type of peace for her soul. And Stacie, I know that the two of you had trouble becoming what you wanted to be to each other, but I can tell you - all the time that you thought that she wasn't bonding with you or that you were trying to impress her, she felt the same way. She wanted to be your mom, so bad, but she never wanted you to feel like she was trying to replace her. And I know that you've always been a girl, a woman who needs her mom or her dad… She's all that you have left. Let her be your mother..." Tanisha came back and sat down on his lap and kissed him on the lips. "I'm still doing it," he told her._

" _Ugh! I'm not returning to listen to you talk about dying, I'm gonna make a daiquiri."_

 _She left and he reached around for his reading glasses, then put them back on and continued, "Bring her flowers, at least once a week, something extra lavish at least once a month. Cook her a meal. She's probably on a whiskey and wine diet and she doesn't like to cook, anyway. Order a masseuse. She's used to getting one. Restock her wine, if she's not overdoing it. Keep an eye on that. She drinks a lot more than y'all ever noticed. Remind her that she was everything and more before she ever knew me and that she can be, long after I'm gone. These are all the things that I do on a regular basis and I plan on doing for the next 40 years easily, unless I get too sick in my old age. But, I'll hire somebody to do it, or call y'all over to do it. Those are my biggest concerns. Back to the assets…"_

 _He scanned the paper, before getting back to it. "Found my spot… Well, I'm hoping that I have a chance to teach Jake and the grandsons how to play guitar. I taught Sam and Stevie and they're both pretty good… Though I don't know if Stevie ever plays anymore. But, I wanna give my baby, Sheridan, to Jake. My other sons know the one I mean… as a sign that I was always serious about being your dad, even when I recorded this a month after I adopted you."_

Jake surprisingly started crying and shook his head. " _Whether or not he learns to play, I just hope that I have the necessary time to win you over and that you'll think of me as your dad and love me as that, and know that I love you too. I do right now and I did before. Along with her, everything in the kitchen, all the grilling supplies, cooking supplies and food storage and appliances are also going to you, Jake. I enjoyed the times when we had the chance to make meals together..._

 _The rest of the guitar collection, I want to separate individually according to each kid who was born the year of the make of the guitar… Every time I had a child or a grandchild, I bought a new guitar to commemorate the births, and to add to my collection. That helped me to discipline myself from just buying a butt-load of guitars… which I did kinda do, after I ran into money. The rest, the ones that aren't birthday specific, I would like to give as an inheritance to my first grandchild, Cowboy. He'll have the talent, I can tell from the lessons that I've already given him. He can have his own guitar collection, either starting with mine, or if he's already into them by the time that I'm gone, these will be added on to it."_

Stevie sniffled, "Cowboy is gonna love guitars whether he wants to or not…" He shook his head, "I can't believe that he didn't give those to Sam…" He looked at Sam, sitting in bed, seeing his father "alive" for the last time, reading off things that he was leaving to everyone.

 _Dwight's clothes and appearance changed, at least by a couple of years, and he smiled, holding his paper, wearing his readers, "So, I decided to just forsake editing altogether, because Holly said that as long as this is what I consider to be my will and there is no later versions, it will be accepted as the will. So, I think that Marley never made it into the family, but I didn't want to remove her, because she was such a sweet girl and she's always here for me and Nisha. If she is still working by the time that I'm gone, I want her to get 10% of my insurance payout, if she is willing to be caretaker to Nisha. I've been having some pains lately and she's really freaking out. The doctors are telling her that this is normal for a man my age, but I honestly feel like if something ever happens to me, she'll need somebody really there for her. Hopefully, we don't have to worry about this for a long time, but in the event that Marley is an older woman and not capable of taking care of this herself, I will settle for a recommendation of a young person, company or whatever to see to Nish."_

" _I have started trust funds for each of my grandchildren, and if I have more grandchildren by the time this happens, they will of course be added in. Joe is extremely good at this type of thing, so I want you to take care of making sure if I'm gone too soon that the accounts are maintained. I want you to handle ensuring that the kids' funds get the proper amounts. Y'all's kids already got plenty more than what Nisha and I had for y'all when you were little, but if something should happen, I want them to all at least have the option to go to school, or I don't know, move to New York and become a star - whatever they decide when they turn 18. Being broke, being poor, that can make somebody not a good person, or make them too sad to function, too hungry, too angry, whatever. I want them to at least have this portion from me._

 _I'm sorry that a lot of this thing is me asking y'all to handle things other things. I gave y'all stuff, too, though. I'm trying to balance it out, with a little give and take. Just because I'm dead, doesn't mean that I can't be polite. If I haven't seen you in a while, or we haven't talked, whether I died quickly, slowly, peacefully, or something else… I love all of you and I hope that you're all there for each other. We'll see each other again…" He got up and turned off the camera._

Tanisha let go of Sam's hand, which she had crushed, took Jake's arm from around her, and walked out of the room too, now. She wanted to go find Stacie and see if she could do _anything_ to comfort her, at all...

Marley tried to have a home helper for Mama T, but she was not being agreeable, particularly about the not drinking part, so Marley and she made a deal that if she didn't fight with people trying to help her and possibly mess up her wound dressing in the process that Marley would not take away the alcohol that she kept getting a hold of. Stevie wondered if they should put her in restraints until she healed, because they are "surprisingly safe, though uncomfortable to fight in." Nobody wanted to do that to her. She was in enough pain and they honestly didn't know what to do to help her out.

Stacie had tried to remind her that Dwight died so that she could live and that what he would want would be for her to move forward and live and not mourn and cry and mope over him. That only made her feel like Stacie was angry with her for feelings that she couldn't control and she cried even harder, making Stacie feel awful for trying to cheer her up that way. They ended up crying and apologizing for their feelings for hours before they fell asleep in each other's arms, exhausted emotionally.

Marley and Jake were generally there to see her out of bed in the mornings and to tuck her in at night. Bree was trying not to get in the way. She wanted to impress the woman, but felt conspicuously out of place, no matter where she was in a room. Dwight was the one that usually chatted with her and tried to make her feel more comfortable whenever she was around. Dwight and Stevie were the only people that she ever had any conversations with in the family, besides Cheri. So, she made her way to helping Cheri out, since she had no good hands at the moment.

By the time it was time for the reading of the will, Bree went with Marley to get ice cream for herself, while helping to keep an eye on the kids. Kids who referred to one of them as "Auntie Marley," and the other as "Bree" or Mercedes' children's insufferable "Miss Bree." She couldn't figure out how to be there for Jake, either. Jake wasn't crazy about Dwight, but she knew that he liked him and cared about him. He certainly loved the way that he made his mom happy, if nothing else. Dwight awkwardly spent time trying to bond with him, but the only thing that they had in common besides Mama T was cooking.

Bree watched Marley help the children select ice cream, double check that Cowboy was okay, and let Sheva hand the clerk the money, as she liked to do that part. Bree learned a little bit about the children while she was on the trip with them… Damn, was that honestly just a few weeks ago? She felt like she lived in a different world, now. For one thing, she and Jake had not been home since, and he seemed fine to forget all about life in New York to tend to his family, but she didn't know if that was what he was supposed to do or simply go home and not worry about it. It _felt like_ she needed to be here, but for what? Jake had his siblings and this woman who knew him better, longer, probably more deeply. Marley handed her an ice cream and she thanked her, then they went back to silence between them.

.

Sam's nurse pushed his wheelchair into the church. There were guards posted, guests being told where to sit, a ways away from the family, as they were still on high alert and just wanted to peacefully send Dwight off. Stevie didn't want his children anywhere near a dead body, even to say goodbye, so Mason and Jane finally set up a date for the children to spend time together, aligned with Dwight's services. Heaven and Sam's twins were there, seated with Mercedes, Stacie, and Cheri. The boys were near the pulpit, because Sam was going to bravely attempt to officiate his own father's funeral and Stevie and Jake were both extremely cautious and paranoid about him being up and out up front that way, even with the guards present. Joe was next to him in the pulpit, in case he couldn't continue. He was weaning off of the oxygen, and not yet recovered.

For all of Dwight's setting up of funds and handing out assets, he barely had anything to say about his actual services, except " _Don't spend too much money on that. A regular box is fine, and I have plenty of suits. You have a church. It should all be fairly simple."_

Naturally, it was anything but. Stacie obsessed over the details of flowers, casket, time of day, the meal following the going home celebration, CALLING IT a "Going Home Celebration," song selections, and anything else that he didn't mention.

Tanisha claimed that there was no way that she could go, but was reminded that she had not been able to say goodbye to him and this was the last time that she would be able to see him. "It won't be him. It will be a shell that they ripped his soul from, while I sat a few hundred feet away, being rescued, instead. And… I probably wouldn't have even died! I probably would have still lived if he had just LET them help him, instead!" She covered her mouth, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It wasn't his fault. I can't do it. I can't go."

Of course, by the time that it was time, Jake managed to get her into her dress. She actually let Bree get close enough to her to make her face up and do her hair. Then, she sent Bree to fetch her a list from the liquor store and gave her a stylish black bag to smuggle it into the church inside of. She had already been drinking, but Bree followed her orders. Everyone was handling her with kid gloves and she honestly just wanted to get the day over with, as drunkenly as possible and then try to figure out how to make it to the next day.

Various people spoke on behalf of Dwight's character. Friends from all over the country were present. Tanisha's wall was filled with fans expressing sorrows and trying to encourage her, same for all of the spotlight Evanses. Marley arranged for a certain number of professional photographers to be allowed, as to make exclusive any footage or photos from this day, and all others would be promptly hit with legal action. She asked Cheri to put off announcing her remission, until they were over this extremely difficult bridge, and whenever she could meddle with the angle and make the announcement it's best for her. She was emotional about this, but she was also still working.

Ryder and Hunter arrived for Marley's support and Cheri. The church was full. Sam was… practically despondent. Jake distracted him, staring at the coffin in front of them.

"I blew him off. He wanted to teach me guitar so many times, and every time, I declined. I didn't even have a reason. I just didn't want to take the time out for him. I guess I figured, I didn't need a dad. I had gone without one all of this time and I was fine not having one. Maybe, some part of me just thought I had more time to get used to the idea of having one… And… At some point, I must have felt that, because that's who I feel like I lost. I feel like my dad died."

"He did," Sam told him. "Dad took you in as his the moment he fell in love with your mom. He wasn't a step-child kind of person. Whenever somebody married in or sometimes, whenever somebody got real close with us, he pretty much adopted them. With you, he wanted all of that official. He told me that he invited you to Tennessee alot. He wanted you to get comfortable at his and thought that might never happen if everybody else was always there for you to hang with. He was looking into the market to buy you a house, in New York. So that you wouldn't be embarrassed whenever people visited. He started looking whenever y'all thought Bree was pregnant. He said that he wasn't gonna have his grandchild have to struggle in that apartment, even if you were gonna be a starving artist. He wanted to tell you stuff like that, but he also was scared of coming on too strong and making you want to push him away."

"I could always tell when something was his idea, though. There are just some things that I know my mom didn't think of or do the work for, even when she said, "We did this," to me. I should have told him that I did care about him. I should have let him know that he did make a difference in my life and…" Jake shook his head.

"He's listening. He knows now, and I'm sure he's smilin' about it."

Jake shook his head, "I should be comforting you. Not the other way around."

"Trust me - I'm not comforting you. Just, being honest. I'm a little bit pissed at you."

"Because he gave me that guitar? You can have it. I wouldn't feel right taking it…"

"No, he wanted you to have her and you're gonna take her. IF you can make the time or want to, _I_ can teach you how to play, on behalf of him. But, I'm pissed that you didn't even realize the gift that he was giving to you in himself. My dad, as who he died as - that was the best dad that he's ever been. I always loved him, but this version of him that he offered to you at no cost but a little bit of your pride… You rejected greatness."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. You robbed yourself." Sam shrugged, "For that, I guess I shouldn't be pissed at you. You should be pissed at you." Sam reached out and squeezed Jake's shoulder.

.

"My father, Dwight Evans, was my hero. Whenever I was a little boy, a lot of people would say that they wanted to be this or that - cool stuff like an astronaut or a fireman. I just wanted to be my dad. My dad built things and grew stuff. He knew construction and landscaping. He was a skilled carpenter. He was one of those guys who did so much manly stuff, that he was almost like a caricature, but I thought he was awesome. And I knew from about the time that I was 4 that I wanted to be awesome, like him. So, I took in everything that he ever said to me and I just started to digest it and regurgitate it. By the time I was 8, I was an utter mini-him. Daddy's family called him Andy, from his middle name, because believe it or not, there's a lot of Dwight Evanses and we even have some cousins and stuff named Dwight. Whatever, but they called him Andy and they called me "Little Andy" when I was small. Because, I was just like my daddy and I loved that and I lived for it.

I didn't stay like my daddy. I got older, went my own way, searched for my own identity in a number of ways, and yet - unlike some parents, Daddy never held me to any certain expectations of who he felt that I should be. He accepted me at every stage of my life and that helped me to learn how to grow and to learn how to function. A lot of parents don't give their children that. Honestly, my dad didn't even give _all_ of us that. A month ago, if I had stood up before God and said this, all of my siblings would have scoffed." Stevie snickered, but he was in tears. "We… realized that we got treated differently. And, whenever Daddy realized it too, he made changes. He tried to be a more understanding person, all around. My dad came from a background and a culture in which… women and children weren't really heard out. He exercised a lot of those ways for years. And when he was out of work, God - his temper was bad, and morale was bad.

But, by the time I came home from prison, he had somehow learned how to listen to what you had to say… What I had to say. He also started trying to treat my mama better and it was a bad time for him and Stevie, but he worked for years to try to fix that too. He was somebody who built things and grew things. Like our Mama T said, he had a talent for taking junk and making it beautiful. He knew that he messed up a lot of stuff in life, to the point where a lot of people would have just thrown it all away. He wasn't the type to throw anything away. He worked on it, until he made it better or until it was clear that there was no help for it.

When I heard what happened to him, the way that it happened, I wasn't the least bit surprised. I was sad, angry, afraid, and a lot of other emotions, but not shocked. Because, my dad was the type of man who would defend his home and his wife with a shotgun, until his very last breath. He was the kind of man who would die on the ground, in tremendous pain…" Tanisha flinched at the visuals of this. "If it meant that someone he loved was going to be able to live. We… watched the will reading. The majority of the things was basically him teaching us how to be good to Mama T, now that he's gone. He wanted us to take this horrible situation that we're left in and try to make it beautiful. Even in his absence, his main concern was this beautiful woman who came into our lives a few years ago and made every single Evans here's world such a happier place. Even if she hadn't opened her heart to us, just the man that Daddy was with her was enough to make me a proud and happy son. The pain that she is in right now, I don't even get it on that level. I always planned on outliving him, personally. I'm his son. That's kinda the natural order. I didn't expect it to be this soon, but I knew it would happen. But, when you expect to spend the rest of your life with someone who you genuinely love and enjoy - the pain is something only God could heal.

As sure as my daddy was willing to spend the greater portion of his will trying to intercede on behalf of his wife, he's got the good Lord's ear right now, asking Him to do something to help her and ease her pain. Daddy, and God, y'all do something to ease mine, too… All of us are in such a bad way. Knowing that you suffered and you didn't deserve to leave like that, at this time. Help us understand and cope." He covered his chest and leaned over, struggling to catch his breath. Jake and Stevie retrieved him and Joe continued the small remainder of the services.

.

Sam and Mama T were the only ones sitting in the sanctuary. Everyone else was at the adjacent meal or elsewhere. He didn't want to leave her and she hadn't moved from that spot. "He gave such a tall order. A tall and unfair order…" She whimpered.

"Which part?"

"Stay safe." She furrowed her eyebrows, "My safety was wrapped up in him. How can I ever feel safe when the one who kept me safe was…" She shook her head, "And let's not get started on what he tasked you with? My soul? My spirit? My well-being? None of that is okay. None of that will be okay. I know, you bring a lot of light to a lot of people, but I'm afraid that your dad sent you on a pointless mission."

"Basically, all that I honestly heard was him asking us to just love you until you made it through. That's not a challenge for any of us, Mama T. We do that everyday and always will."

He breathed in some oxygen and she checked the time on her phone, "You were supposed to have eaten by now. Did you take your antibiotics?" He bit his lip and she waved the nurse over, "Please, take my son to get food and his medicine. He's trying to babysit me, but I just want to be alone with Dwight, anyway." Sam allowed it, promising to check on her right after he finished. She approached the coffin, He didn't look the same, but she still saw him. She pulled out three empty bottles before finding one that she hadn't drank and shoved back into her purse. "Stay safe? I could bop you with this bottle!" She slurred.

She climbed onto the coffin and touched his face, "It's cold. I was never supposed to have to touch this face and feel cold. A face that I could only remember being warm, in every way. And your gentle eyes, closed always? The smile that could silence even my big mouth ass… NEVER going to smile again and you expect me to keep going? You expect them to help me? You should have fucking taken me with you!" She cried and laid down on his chest, crying onto his body. It didn't feel like him, but this was the closest that she would ever get to him again. "And now, if I don't get up and fight and live and be strong and prosper… they lost you for nothing. They'll hate me. They probably already do. To add insult to their injury, you just… keep asking them to love me and take care of me, like I had nothing to do with the fact that like me, they are never seeing your gentle eyes or your warm smile again…" She sobbed and rolled over, looking at the ceiling of the church and opening her bottle.

.

Sam asked Jake, "When was the last time somebody checked on Mama T?"

Jake pointed his thumb towards the sanctuary, we're about to go collect her now and bring her home. Hopefully, we'll be able to get her to eat. Nothing has worked since that will reading." He sighed and headed back into the sanctuary with Stevie while the nurse helped Sam into the family car with his wife and children. Stevie looked around and wondered, "Where did she go?"

Jake pointed, "She's in there. Looks like she passed out…" They got to the coffin and both sighed. "I think between the both of us and however much liquor she's had, we should be able to get her out of there, even with her drunk she-hulk strength and to the car." Stevie was staring at her. "Do you think we should get Joe, too?" Jake asked. Stevie started crying and shook his head. Jake looked at her face. Her mouth and eyes were slightly open, but she wasn't moving. She looked like she was reaching upward at something, but she froze… "Is she… okay?" He asked and shook her, "Mom! Mom…" he slapped her across the face a couple of times and Stevie pulled him back. "Mom!" Jake screamed.

Stevie collected her from the coffin and Jake pulled his own hair and nearly fell to the floor. Cheri and Bree came back in, wondering what was going on. "Mama T… I don't know, passed out or something and she's stopped breathing. She doesn't have a pulse…" He tried to give her mouth to mouth.

"Oh my God, should we call 911?" Bree asked, reaching for her phone.

Jake studied the bottles on the floor, near the coffin. "How much did she have to drink? Where has she even been getting this? How did she get this many bottles of liquor in here?" Bree turned red and put her head down. "Did you bring her this?"

"She was really sad and she said she knew what she could handle. She'd give me a list and I'd deliver it to her in one of her purses and she's been fine this whole time. She's a heavy drinker, and she told me that she wouldn't overdo it for her tolerance…"

"She's been shot! Her husband died! She's had medical treatment and no mental treatment! Why would you think that she knows what she's talking about?" He fussed.

Bree covered her mouth, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" She rushed out of the church and Stevie tried to resuscitate Mama T, but she likely was gone before they ever got there.

Stacie came in, as Bree rushed out and she cried, "What happened? Oh God, what happened?" She ran over, holding her heart and shaking her head, "No, this can't happen again. Please, God, please… This can't…" Sam came back inside, disregarding the wheelchair to check to see what was happening. Stevie was still attempting. Stacie had collected Jake into her arms and Cheri was seated on the floor, staring off into space.

Sam took Stevie's shoulder, "Stevie… Stop, okay. You're just gonna bruise her up." Stevie laid his head on her chest and cried. Sam reached out to try to close her eyes and rubbed Stevie's back.

"We failed. We failed him," Stevie said. "Why do I keep failing people after they die?"

"No, we didn't." Sam told him. "We just focused in on a part that wasn't meant to be. He wanted to be next to her for the rest of forever, and now… They can be." He strummed Tanisha's cheek. "She was miserable. Whatever we were going to do, she already told me that she didn't believe it would work. This is the most peaceful she's looked since."

Jake and Stacie came to the pew and leaned over her, like Stevie, them piled on, crying. Sam sighed and looked over at Cheri. She was hugging herself and rocking, but she got up and she walked outside. He followed her and found her approaching Bree and Marley. Marley seemed to be trying to calm Bree down, while Bree was hysterical. Cheri ran over and collected Bree as Marley threw both of her hands up into the air and stormed back towards the church. "Marley… Did you hear?" he asked.

Marley sighed and folded her arms, "Did she do it on purpose?" she wondered.

"I don't think so. I think just with not eating, binge drinking, already being unwell…"

Marley shook her head, "I know that this is going to be read as a suicide."

"That's okay. She's… In a better place."

Marley shook her head and said, "That doesn't make it okay. What are you going to do about these people, Mr. Evans? IS there anything that we can do? Can we pay them off? Can we spin things in such a way that they get caught? What can we do? I am supposed to have solutions for this family. My life's work has been to help this family and this family is being picked off… What can we do?"

"If I were you, I would take the money and run. This isn't your problem. It's an old grudge with new, high stakes and honestly, none of us would want you caught in the crossfire. Because whatever can be done… We're going after them, hard. Thank you for everything that you've done."

The coroner drove up and Marley cried and gave Sam a hug. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Evans… Sam."

"Don't be. You went above and beyond. We love you. Daddy and Mama T loved you."

"I should have stuck to my guns and not let her have a single drop. We should have used the restraints, like Stevie said. We could have…"

"Been torturing her even worse than what this was doing to her. In my mind, she and Daddy are together again, and she's happy again. I.. just want to believe that."

"Well, for those of us still here, it hurts. And, it will hurt even more if more of you join them. What will you do?"

"I'll… figure something out. I'm… The patriarch of this family now…"


	33. The Rehabilitation

**The Rehabilitation**

Stacie returned to hovering over Tanisha, trying to revive her and praying that it was alright. They had told her multiple times that she should stop, but they left her to it, knowing that in the past few weeks, her and Mama T had gotten closer than they had ever been, through their shared level of grief and Stacie did not know how to just stop. She was surprised that they had been able to convince Stevie to do so. It was just her, Jake and Stevie in there whenever the coroner came in.

Stacie begged, "Just… Check her again and see if you can't do something. She can't be dead. She can't be dead. Why would God do that to me? Please…"

The coroner nodded his head. He was used to people behaving this way at times. Generally, they needed the proof that the person he was coming for indeed needed to go with him. Generally, if someone was that much in denial, a simply listen on the stethoscope gave them their first nudge in going towards letting him do his job and them sorting out their feelings about their loss. He checked Nisha's heartbeat for Stacie, ready to apologize and to let her hear through the stethoscope for herself. Instead, he told her, "I hear a faint heartbeat."

"What?" Jake asked. Stevie seemed shook.

Stacie called out, "Thank you, Jesus!"

He told her, "That doesn't mean that your friend will live, but it means that she's alive right now and we have to very quickly get her some attention, if she's going to stay that way…" Stacie nodded her head. She understood what he was trying to tell her - this might be hopeless. He didn't know her very well. The faint pulse alone was hope enough for her. It was surprising. Usually, when someone was in denial, it was just that. But, at least for now, this particular woman was not dead, yet.

Medical treatment. Restraints. Counselors. This all seemed like a downgrade to the experience Mama T was having before her even closer near death experience than the one a few weeks prior. Sam sighed and shook his head, "There must be something that we can do to make this all easier for her. Why would she survive to be miserable?"

Stacie shook her head too, "I don't know and I don't care. Daddy told us to take care of her and that's what I plan to do, until she's better. And she will be. He loved her because she was strong." Jake was next to the hospital bed, holding his mother's hand and having crying spells. What if Stacie hadn't continued to try? She would have died, and he would have been partially responsible! Then again, what if she wakes up and she's pissed and upset that they made her live? Each scenario made him cry. Stacie wrapped her arms around him. That help. God knows it did, but what if? What if? _What if?_

.

Stevie spent his down time checking for updates on the hunt for the cowards that hit his family. He was sending people to check all of the known allies, relatives and what-nots of those killed while attacking them. Matt had people working on it, as well. Ghostskins Hunters Inc and the Ruthless Revolutionaries Org may not have officially been back in business, but they were working together more frequently and harder than they ever had in the past. Both of their families had been shaken by the events and it was not a guarantee that any of it was over with, simply because it didn't seem to be moving forward right now.

Between nearly having a complete fucking mental breakdown seeing Mama T… die… then the weird flood of emotions to find out that she wasn't dead, after all… just very near it, enough that they couldn't tell... If he and Stacie hadn't been desperately trying to breathe into her, she definitely would not have made it. Between all of that, still not having rectified the burden of knowing that even if it wasn't "his fault" as everyone kept reminding him, his fight at the parade did appear to be the last straw that set this in motion. Of course, there had been some planning put into this, but it didn't appear to be much planning. For one thing - Kendra Giardi knew his Aunt Maybelle. They hadn't necessarily been friends, but they knew each other through the Schuesters, whenever they were good with the Evanses and it wasn't a stretch to imagine that in the world of social media, knowing of each other's ties to white pride groups, that they didn't simply hatch this whole thing together - Kendra exacting revenge on the sons and Maybelle on her former brother-in-law who she must have still hated for the things that happened between he and Mary. They were HOPING that this was just a couple of scorned women using their connections for a big hit and getting taken down in the process. But, the fact that the henchman who tried to hurt Phai mentioned that Preston Schuester had been involved unnerved Stevie. Maybe it was said just to get him to stop punching him, but it was said and he couldn't rule it out.

Stacie, Sam and Joe were now convinced that God had some plan for Tanisha. Two times in a matter of weeks? Miraculous! While Stevie cared about that, he was definitely concerned about the fact that there didn't seem to be a lot of attention from the enemy. So, what were they planning, exactly?

Stevie and Cheri had gone to gather the children from Jane and Mason's, but Jane simply said, "All of you stay… It's too long a drive for the night that you've had." Stevie didn't feel comfortable doing it. What if they were still being watched and had been followed? What if after all of this, danger still fell on the heads and shoulders of his former friends and their family. But, Cheri accepted the invite and as a result, they stayed a few days. Jane and Stevie worked on trying to find the guilty, and avoided the elephant in the room, while the children went into a beautiful groove of simply catching each other up on the months that they were apart, sharing a little bit about the scary night and just enjoying each other's company again, cherishing their best friends at a time that they weren't even aware that they needed them.

Meanwhile, Cheri had all of their possessions moved out of their house into Dwight and Nisha's Ohio home, in Stevie's wing, shortly after getting out of the hospital. There was no way that the children could sleep in the old house anymore and she could barely even look at it. But, also, she was terrified that someone would come for them here. The flashes of pain and fear that hit her whenever she thought that she was bold enough to pack up herself was unthinkable. Hearing Kendra's voice in the dark, and her children screaming in the background... That property was condemned, as far as she was concerned, and many of the memories that she made there might be forever tainted.

The others all agreed to use the Evans estate as their "safe house," so Sam's family, Stacie and Joe, and Jake all made arrangements to get their things moved in until further notice, following Cheri's lead. All of them had keys and security access. It was spacious enough and fortified for safety. It was filled with good memories of Dwight that weren't partially burned, and good memories of their own, enough to build on, for those of them who were having trouble with thinking positively, at the moment.

.

Sam had the most top of the line security posted around the house and insisted on the buddy system for everybody and the babysitter system for the kids. He did not want a single child out of sight of an adult as long as this was happening. Stevie and Joe also didn't want Sam alone. He wasn't a child, but he had significant problems caused by the stabbing and it could be months to never before he was 100%. Stacie and Jake were posted at the hospital until Mama T did one of two things - woke up, or actually died. They "slept" in shifts, or both remained awake and trying not to be depressed about her situation, catching up better than they had the chance to in the past couple of years that he had been in New York.

Some of the others would visit, bringing changes of clothes and toiletries, and meals. Sam and Joe led a family prayer circle every night, either in the room, or over the laptop video chat. Jake was annoyed that Bree was still crashing with Cheri and Stevie. Even though his mom might make it, she had a hand in this. That was unforgettable, and probably unforgivable. Stacie felt bad for her, but couldn't admit that to Jake. He was justified in however he felt about all of this. They sometimes even invited the guards in for a seat. They had shifts and were on the alert, but both of them felt bad for the men who spent hours sitting outside of a door that a crazed killer might show up at.

Sam ventured to the church with Joe. They had work to do in their offices and a few meetings with the board, to discuss everything that was happening and how to safeguard the church, in case these people attacked. Stevie came along for backup, and just remained nearby, on his phone with Matt, Phai, and/or Jane, and worked on his laptop, while also sporadically looking around, paranoid that no place was safe for his loved ones, except for maybe the house.

Seemingly the church would have to put the spiritual rehabilitation center on hold. Sam still felt very passionately about it but it seem like it was not the right time to work on these things when there was so much danger facing his family. The church board convinced him not to give up on that dream it was simply too important and they did not want "the devil to win." Instead of not focusing on it they asked him to have a meeting with his family to discuss possibly putting most of his attention into making the center while he was forced into hiding during his recovery.

So, whenever Sam got home, he invited everyone to dinner, including Jake and Stacie, who didn't want to leave the hospital, but thought he had a point - they should at least come home every now and then. Stacie decided to go, but Jake had a horrible fear that if they left Tanisha alone for even a moment, that she would die alone, like their dad did, in the moments it took to help her. He couldn't go. He just couldn't. Stacie promised to be back as soon as dinner was done.

Nobody felt like cooking, nor did they trust ordering something, so Santana took care of ordering and delivering a meal to them. She and Lauren brought it by after closing up the shop, then insisted on helping to set up the table. Sam gave them both a grateful partial smile and Lauren hugged him tightly, still remembering how fun and cool Dwight was to her from the moment that she met him and how he often thanked her for being a friend to his son when nobody else seemed to want to. She'd always say, "Dude, that was years ago!" Sam walked the two women back out to the van and noticed that Santana had not had any jokes lately. "I hope that you're not avoiding making fun of me just because I'm injured."

"Are you kidding? The very first thought that I had was, 'He should have used his lips as a shield,'" but then she made a face and shook her head, "But, when I heard about Mr. Dwight… And then the situation after the funeral, was just…" She clasped her hands together and said, "Whatever shit that you needed to pay for, I think it has been avenged, sevenfold."

Lauren said, "You didn't deserve this, any of it. But, whatever else, hopefully they'll pay for all of this."

.

Stacie hardly had an appetite, but she fixed a small plate anyway. The others tried to have a normal dinner, but it was so much quieter and solemn without Mama T there to make people laugh and Dwight there blushing and/or cheering her on.

Joe led the before dinner prayer, then as everyone else tried to eat, Sam announced, "Since I am struggling physically, one of the first things that I want to focus on, in addition to the pending investigation into the Tennessee attacks and what happened here, is to get started trying to open up my spiritual healing center. The church board thinks that handling that will be most up to speed with my current medical status, but I want to make sure that's all right with the family before I start making decisions about just which direction I'm going to go in on this.

My first thought was that I could get someone to draw blueprints of how I want the center to look but in order to do that I'm going to need Joe to handle most of the things at the church. That also means that I might very likely need for Stevie and maybe even Stacie to deal with any matters concerning the investigations."

Joe nodded, "I'm all in bro."

Stacie put her fork down and suggested, "As of right now I don't want to make any plans to do anything that's going to take me away from my Mama's bedside. I feel bad enough having to leave Jake there by himself tonight to have this dinner, so if that's all this dinner is about I'll just finish eating and go back so that he won't have to do this alone."

"I understand. Daddy said some very powerful things about you and Mama T. Even though you left the room, you have your copy and I know you've watched it. It makes sense that you feel obligated to…"

"She's our mother. The only one we've had for half a decade, now. This isn't about Daddy's will or how he died. It's about holding on to what we still have. We still have her and she felt so alone, even surrounded by us that she nearly drank herself to death. We were right beside her watching her slowly die. I'm not letting her feel that way again. If she wakes up, I want to be there for her. And for Jake. The church… is your responsibility." She pushed her plate forward and got up, "Joe, if you'd put that away for me, I gotta go."

Stevie got up too and followed her away. She was probably too upset to drive and _he_ should be there for Jake, too. "Sammy, I support whatever you're trying to do. Just let me know what you need from me. For right now I'm going to go see about and be with her."

.

 _Tanisha woke up to an empty bed and sighed. What. The. Fuck? Honestly… She expected it of men, but she hadn't expected it of_ him _. After all of that pleading and rationalizing that they might be something good(not to mention all of that mind-altering sex), he was gone the morning after? She climbed out of bed and put on her bathrobe. If she didn't have a text about this, she was never speaking to Dwight's ass again… Wait, was that smoke she smelled? She rushed out of the bedroom into the kitchen where she heard the sizzling of sausage and country music playing. There were eggs and biscuits on the table. There was a lot going on in the room, the most important part being that he_ wasn't _gone."Hello?" She said to the back of Dwight's head, watching him shimmy his waist._

 _He turned around and smiled, "Good morning, My Darlin'."_

" _What's happening here?" Her hand made a circle to the room, including the small two person table that usually was just her and her coffee in the morning._

" _It's called breakfast, and I figured you should have more than coffee and nuts… which is all that you had in here. So, I hit the store a few blocks away, to pick you up some groceries."_

 _She thought that he meant specifically for breakfast, but when she went to grab her creamer from the refrigerator for the pot of coffee that he had already brewed, it was full. "WAIT! You stocked up on the groceries?"_

 _Dwight wondered, "What did ya think I meant?"_

" _I thought you meant that you picked up stuff for breakfast. Dwight…" she opened the pantry. That was full too. "Why did you do this?" She was a strong woman who didn't need a man, but this morning hit her right in the feels and it didn't stop there._

 _He set down the spatula and pulled her into his arms, "As long as you're my woman and I'm alive, you're never going to go without…"_

Tanisha's eyes fluttered and she heard a little gasp. A girl. _Stacie._ She could hear Stevie volunteering to run to get the doctor and felt Jake's tears on her hand as he held it. "Whathefuckisgoinon?" She mumbled.

"You almost died!" Stacie said, then exploded into tears and hugged her. "We almost lost you too.."

Now Tanisha's eyes were open and she was looking at three of her four kids and remembered that her husband, who brought these together as her family… was gone. She stared at Stacie for a moment and asked, "Girl… Are you pregnant?" She looked at her slight weight gain over the past couple of weeks and a glow in her face. Maybe she was still too out of it, but that looked like the look...

Stacie blushed and patted her hand, "Let's get you figured out before we worry about anything else, alright? How… are you? Are you going to be okay or will you hate us for bringing you back? Will you hate us for wanting you to go to rehab? Would you rather die than be here with us? Please tell us what we can do for you, this time!"

"I'm sorry, y'all." She told them. "I wanted to handle it better. It's just that… from Day 1, Dwight elected to provide for me. I had never had anyone willing to take care of me and also put up with me. It was hard to accept that he was gone and harder to accept that he was gone because he was more worried about me than himself. But, he visited me, in my dream. I was drunk and I guess I was dying. He told me that our kids need me and I couldn't come with him, but that he would wait. He told me not to give up and to breathe again. He told me to listen to our kids crying over my body, follow the sounds of those cries and go to help them…" she laughed and said, "It seemed so real. I could feel your palms trying to revive my body. I could hear all of you. I was trying so hard to get back here to you… I already lost my… I don't want to lose all of you, too… Or leave you. Dwight once told me that as long as I was his woman and he was alive, I would never go without. But… as long as I'm still living, I'm going to do my best to make the most of what I've been left with. Dwight was my everything. But, somehow, you all are also everything. I want to be better, and of course I don't hate any of you. I get to see Dwight whenever I look at your faces. I'm sorry that I could only see my pain. Jake... You have to stop blaming that girl. She loves you, and even if you're upset with her, be upset with me too. I'm the one that told her to do it and I'm the one who decided to do it. Let her earn your trust back. Let me vouch for her that I think... she really loves you..." Stacie gave her a hug and Jake kissed her on the forehead. Stevie hung back. "What's up?" She asked him.

"This is all my fault. They attacked because of what I've been doing…"

"These people would have attacked anyway. I'm _glad_ you've ruined so many of them. I'll be glad if you ruin many more."

"I am. Cheri's not sick anymore, so I don't have a reason to keep the vacation going…"

"CHERI WHAT?" Mama T, Jake, and Stacie all simultaneously repeated.

Stevie's eyes went wide as he _just realized_ that neither himself nor Cheri had told their family that she was in remission...

.

Sam had to go to the doctor for some tests. He was highly susceptible to infections and needed to keep himself healthy or at least functional to focus on all of the responsibilities that he had in front of him. Stacie was watching over Mama T pretty much every day, which made it easier for he and Stevie to focus on other things. Joe was extremely helpful in running the church affairs while Sam focused on trying to keep EvansStrong Construction assignments in progress functioning, while the company dealt with the loss of it's CEO and sought out new management. Fortunately, all of the current projects were handled by on site managers that Dwight trusted and all of them were extremely sympathetic to the current state of affairs for the Evans family. These men respected and adored Dwight and would gladly do their part to ensure that things went smoothly during this transition. They were the first people that Sam and Nisha would look towards when trying to determine when and if they would make promotions or hire someone to handle Dwight's old responsibilities.

The rehabilitation center that Mama T was recovering in was pretty liberal with visitation and communication, so she could easily speak with the guys about anything that they had questions about, seeing as how she was right next to Dwight as his business exponentially grew.

Sam tried to run things as he had run the church, but he honestly didn't know a thing about the actual work. His father had been a carpenter, construction worker, and landscaper long before he ever became a business owner. The earliest couple of years, the business succeeded on his skill and knowledge alone, but after he met Nisha, she helped out with the business aspects. She was no business specialist, but she was street smart and used to making decisions like the best of hustlers. It hadn't taken her far in Ohio as a waitress, but it was surprisingly helpful to his company. She began to take classes afterwards, in order to be a more polished business woman. She even paid for the college herself, with her comedy earnings. Now, she was helping Sam to run the business, too.

He loved the church. It was his baby. He understood the connection that his father would have had to this institution. The construction company was more like… something that he was surrogate to years ago and had not contacted in as much time. He cared, especially upon looking at everything and seeing what his parents had done with it. He was infinitely grateful that Mama T made it. He was unsure if he and even Joe, with his administrative skills would have been able to keep things afloat without her input. But, he was in a rush to get back to his baby.

Mercedes did her best to be the supportive wife, but she could not help but have a few quarrels with the fact that Sam needed to take things easy with his injuries and his recovery, but he was moving full speed ahead in all of the things that Papa D had asked of him in the will. Papa D didn't know that the aftermath of his death would be this way! He didn't factor in that he and Sam would both be wounded and that Sam's survival would have been delicate for weeks, and possibly months, considering that at least one month had gone by since the attacks, and though the police had made several arrests in Tennessee, regarding Dwight's attack, none had been made here. In her opinion, that meant that it was more dangerous to be here. She wanted to go elsewhere. Quinn offered to let them stay with her until they could find a place in Washington. Nobody had even so much as called her out of her name since the attacks. But, Sam felt like that was too far, when the rest of his extended family was going through things, as well. Quinn reminded him that his father was focused more on his own house than their collective ones and trusted him to do the same, if he needed to.

"Daddy _could_ focus on that, because we weren't under attack. Trust me. If this had happened and he was living, he would be doing everything that he could from the background to fix everything that he could touch. If you think for one moment that any of the things that I was able to do and achieve weren't heavily influenced by my father's presence and guidance, you're wrong. He was _always_ there and _always_ working, helping… He was…" He started crying and held his chest.

Quinn's eyes widened and she rushed to the screen of the call, "Sam? Are you okay? Do I need to send help?"

"I haven't been able to really think about what not having him here through all this was going to feel like. Now, I'm actually IN it. Even when he was miles away, he'd easily jump on a plane, if he had to. He kept up the house when I was in and out of court. He took care of Mercy when I was on the road. He did basically everything physical when I was in the process of getting the tattoos removed. He wanted to go back to Tennessee for years, but stayed here, where he hated it - with winters that he absolutely despised _just because_ he knew that I couldn't be here all of the time and he wanted to make sure that my woman was okay."

"Well, we were there, so - he didn't have to put that kind of pressure on himself. And you don't either, Sam. You know that I would do whatever I could to help Mercy and back you up. Also, you seem to be feeling guilty about conscious decisions that your dad made to try to be there for you. We both have kids. You _know_ that it wasn't a burden to him. And for all we know, if he hadn't gone back to Tennessee, he might still be here." He suddenly looked up at her and she shook her head, "That's not to say that this was his fault for leaving, at all. That's to say that we don't ever know what the future will hold. We can't push ourselves beyond our mortal limits because of things that could very possibly be out of our control…"

Cheri came into the room and said, "Sam, you need some help?"

Quinn confessed, "I texted her to check on you."

Sam shook his head, "Just water, if it's not a bother?"

"Not at all," she rushed to go get it for him.

Quinn finished up with, "Mr. Evans was kind and strong. He was an amazing person. But, he was also smart. He wouldn't have stretched himself in this many directions and I don't believe that he would have let you do it either, if he could be here. He most definitely would have made sure that you paid attention to your wife and kids, first and foremost."  
"I'm not neglecting them!"

"No, but in how you're neglecting your limits, you're putting them in a position to lose more. Namely, _you."_

.

So, he was making sure that he was physically well. Cheri had a trusted physical therapist come to the house to work with him and she moved her home gym into the house. All of them were gradually moving their things into the place, making it almost look miniature versions of each of their homes, inside of Dwight's home. Sam had a feeling that was exactly what Dwight had envisioned while building all of this. That was why he added on more with each grandchild and pet. There were now seven dogs on the property. Mercedes' stayed in their section of the house, when she didn't need them with her. Cheri tried to stay away from them, but put on face masks whenever she was around them… That didn't always help. Whenever there were that many of them, the hair transference was high and the children still didn't understand how her allergies worked, so they would play outside and bring her back allergic reactions hidden in their collection of fur and filth.

Most of the dogs stayed out in the back, but Sam wanted to make sure to add to the doghouse, which lowkey was like a doggie mansion. He hated that Cheri went from being always sick to being always allergic, and she was inside most of the time, pretty much terrified of leaving the house. He wondered if she was triggered by the events to think about whenever she was kidnapped some years ago… Another event that they would not have been able to get through so smoothly if Dwight had not been there. Sam caught her alone and crying a lot and she would just mention things that she was remembering about Dwight - the time that he first told her that she was his daughter, now. The time that he looked like he was going to get into a fight with her parents for trying to take her home after she had been held in that institution, staying up all night with her when Cowboy was cranky, binge-watching shows that he never would have turned on without her being there, but falling just as hard for the characters and stories as she was - like Merlin. Sam had forgotten that Dwight was the person who was making sure that she had access to the finale of that show… They were going back to their homes, from safehouse life and California when it ended and Dwight had actually been extremely tedious about finding the episode "for her," then they spent days whining about it. He supposed that he'd just imagined that they were trying to distract themselves from the fact that shortly after leaving the safe house, everyone had been caught in a mass shooting. But, now, he was learning it was one of their many "things" that they had that he had missed out on, because he traveled a lot, Dwight wouldn't have thought to mention them to him, and he and Cheri weren't close enough to have these conversations, previously.

Whenever Sam found Cheri crying in secret, he would just sit next to her and let her lean on him. That was the kind of thing that Dwight would have done for her. Sam was generally more of a talk through the problems, figure out what he could do to help, try to fix things. Dwight was sometimes just a presence needed for comfort. Sam figured this was one of the easiest ways to live up to the man.

Physical therapy helped him to be able to move around again, as the damage done to him affected multiple of his bodily symptoms, mainly his respiratory and circulatory systems, though he did have a good deal of muscular and nerve damage. After his survival, he began being hounded again. Outlets wanted to speak with him on his miraculous survival and what this newest attack meant for his family, his ministry and his future in general. Marley offered to filter through those contacts and find him a place where he could express whatever he wanted to share without being forced back into the limelight or subjecting the rest of the family to all of the celebrity stressors that they went through before.

Keeping them away from Nisha was hard enough, considering that she had almost died twice in a short span of time and now all of her shows were cancelled until further notice, refunds were made, fines paid to venues and she vanished into rehab without any of her fanbase getting any confirmation of where or for how long she would be gone. But, keeping people away from Dwight's Ohio home, once they realized that was where not just Dwight and Tanisha Evans had lived, but currently - Sam and Babydoll Evans, Cheri Charming, Stevie Evans and Jake Puckerman Evans were… That was a paparazzi gold mine. It would have been sensational on the buzzworthy merit of the attacks alone, but that these attacks that generally happened out of line of the media, to people deemed unimportant by societal standards, happened instead to a famous survivor turned pastor of a megachurch, his talk show leading wife, a known political activist, his model/actress wife, and a comedienne whose husband erected buildings all over the South and midwest… These weren't unfortunate people who got caught up in a racially aggressive occurrence.

These were rich and popular people, some of which came from nothing and grew successful, but grew so successful that they could be the next celebrity dynasty (and they were to some extent, just that). They were people who had money and resources, who should have been safe and protected, but had gotten hit so hard that some of them almost died, one of them did and the rest were traumatized. Everyone wanted to know about that. The best thing about everyone wanting to know about it was that the crowds of people just outside of the trespassing lines were likely the reason that no further attacks took place. The worst thing about it was literally everything else. Having to either send people for things, and tipping them hefty, grateful that they bared the crowd instead, having to bear the crowd themselves and try to keep their heads down while getting to and from the vehicles, the anxiety of wondering if someone in the crowd is an enemy and if so, what are they willing to do to you, if anything? And now, it was almost August and the children were supposed to be getting ready for school. Stevie's kids fortunately were a little bit more used to private tutors, homeschool and online learning, having spent so much time back and forth to California while Cheri was working on the show. Heaven went to a private school, while Bliss and Blessing were in a Christian daycare learning center for toddlers. Stacie couldn't enroll in the fall. Her conscious alone would make focusing on her work impossible. This would be her first break since graduation, and it technically wasn't a break, because she was spending this time trying to heal her family and heal her spirit, herself. Mama T might have been the one that they checked into a rehab center, but each and every last one of them were in recovery. This entire family was going through a rehabilitation.


	34. The Resignation

**The Resignation**

Immediately after the attacks on the whole of the Evans family, the "other side" of the family reunion was hectic. They weren't sure if they should cancel flights home and try to remain in Hawaii for safety in numbers, seeing as how Sam had mentioned that he had gotten calls from relatively all of their domestic regions. But, with them all in Hawaii, they were unsure if they would be more of a target or less of one by being together. It was terrifying for those who had not really been this involved in the attacks a few years back, and somehow even more terrifying for Kurt.

Every since the Schuester battles, he had not been well. That was magnified whenever he survived the shooting and Tina nearly died. His world turned upside down in a way that it hadn't even done the first time around. And now… These people were _back? Would it end up WORSE?_ When they turned on the news, he had a panic attack. Things were reported so vaguely.

Rumors of an African American woman being hung outside of her home? Children reported missing? Shootings? Fires? It _already_ was worse than the previous two battles, and he could not abide this!

Quinn was on Matt's website and sporadically called him to see if he had anything to say that might help her to keep this side of the family a bit calmer. She kept it together, and that was needed and appreciated. As long as Mercedes hadn't been hurt, she could probably keep it together. When she confirmed for Kurt that it had been Cheri who was hung outside of her home, even though she prefaced it with, "She's okay, but," he burst into tears. Whenever she had to tell them that two of Stevie's children were unaccounted for, everyone was horrified.

It was one thing to think that these people were attacking former allies and their new loved ones, but that the children weren't safe? That children so young could be targeted by them? It could have easily been any of their children, who were all coming back and forth into the room, wondering what was happening and why everyone seemed so upset. Beth finally came up to Quinn, with her hands at her side, took a deep breath and asked, "Mom! Is it the people who killed my dad?" Quinn gave her a hug in response. "Are they going to try to kill us, too?"

"I don't know. They might. We're trying to figure out the best way to keep everybody safe. But, for right now, things are not looking super good for your Evans uncles."

Beth tried not to cry. She often prided herself on being a big girl and being mature, but she felt her tears stinging her eyes, "Are they dead?"

"Not right now, and hopefully, they'll be okay…"

"They've killed Aunt Tina's family. They've killed Dad. They've killed Mr. Rutherford's family. Our Emma… When does somebody stop them? Why are they still able to do this? What kind of a world do we live in where people that do things like these things can keep going?" She broke down and Quinn made her rest her head on her shoulder. "Are my cousins going to be alright? They must not be sheltered, if all of this is happening. It's not as easy to hide as when I was small and it happened. This is so much worst, mom. This is the worst."

Kurt took her by the hand and said, " You know what cheers me up? Spontaneous makeovers. Let's have a spa day." He told Quinn, "I'll take care of all the girls." And asked Tina, "Want to assist?"

She nodded, but she knew that all of this meant that it was dreaded time for her to have a serious heart-to-heart with her girls about their families past and all of the things that happened to her when she was there ages. She had only told them bits and pieces mainly that Kim was sick and her and their mother died in the same way. But, if these fiends were hanging cancer stricken moms in their own front yards, her sweet darlings would have to know the reason she's been so adamant about them knowing self defense and weaponry.

"Are we going to have to run away again?" Beth wondered, addressing Tina.

Tina cleared her throat and said, "You didn't _have_ to run the first time. Your mom was just being sure to keep you safe. But, I never really had a chance to run. I just wanted to face those people head on."

"Because of your sister?"

Tina nodded, "And my mom. And my friends… And myself. I felt like I had to avenge people and like I had to free myself. It wasn't necessarily wise, though…"

"It was extremely brave," Kurt said. "I _did_ run. I would run a thousand times. These people fight dirty. They have no souls. Facing them is like facing a monster. A heartless, bloodthirsty monster…"

The children all looked panicked and Tina said gently, "Kurt."

He smiled and added on, "Lucky for us, Tina is a monster slayer. A fearless warrior."

"Is that how you got shot?" Beth asked.

Now, Tina's girls all looked shocked and alarmed, "You got SHOT?" They asked in unison.

Tina beckoned them for a hug and all three of them and Beth cuddled up to her while Kurt worked on painting nails.

"Okay. So… Where do I begin this ugly but epic tale? Maybe… I'll start with a little girl… No… This story began with two little girls, and their mom. Their mom didn't have a lot of money and when she was young, she had to do things that she really didn't like with men, so that she could eat. One particular man liked her so much that he paid money to bring her to America, from South Korea. He placed her in a house that he paid for, gave her a new name and came to see her, whenever he wanted to. He paid for her, so he treated her like his property. And not good property, either. Property that he used and used and didn't even take care of properly."

Leilani sniffled, "Mom, I don't know if I like this story. Does it have a happy ending?"

Tina sighed, "It has happy moments. Not as many as it does bad ones. You see, the man had children with the woman. The two girls that I told you about. They took their mother's made up name and they lived, sometimes for weeks without having to see him. But, when they had to see him, he was mean. He treated them bad. He beat them. He beat the woman. He was a horrible person and he hurt them all, up until the day that they woman was so sad that she wanted to die. So, she did."

Tina's eyes was filled with tears, but she kept talking, "One of the girls had been sent away, but when she came home, she took care of her sister. Her sister was smaller, more afraid of things, but sweet. She was a girl who wanted a family of her own, but was scared that if she met a man, he might be like the man who bought their mother. So, she only stayed with her sister. She didn't even make friends.

One day, another man showed up. He looked like a nice man. He was friendly and told the girls that he was their brother. They were worried, because the father that they all had was very bad to them, and they wondered if he would be bad to them, too. He wasn't, for a while. For a while, he was very nice and also helpful. The younger sister began to trust him. The older sister didn't, but she at least thought that he could someday earn her trust. He didn't. He also hurt them. He attacked the younger sister. He treated her the way that their father had treated their mother. The younger sister was so afraid and so hurt, she had to hide herself in a place for people who needed healing. It was a place like her sister had been sent to years before, but she was at least content there."

Tina sat up and the girls all shifted around to face her, and watch her as she continued, "Now, there came a day when these people, the ones that you heard us whispering about came for the older sister. She found out that her father was one of them. His son was now dead and he blamed the older of the girls. So, he pretended to be dead and because he was popular, people paid attention. Meanwhile, the younger sister died, like her mother did, like her brother did. They all had hung by their necks until they were dead…" Leilani screamed and covered her face. Kalama rubbed her shoulders and Tina rubbed her knee. "The older sister couldn't let something like that happen to her, or the man that she now loved. So, she went to meet the man and face him and fight him. She defeated him and saved her lover. She and her friends fought the other bad people and they won a battle. There were many happy moments to come." Leilani uncovered her face and took a deep breath.

"The older girl, now a woman… She was still sad about her family, sometimes. She was going to get married and she wanted to have children of her own, that she could raise better than what she knew. She was spending times with her friends when one of those people found them and began shooting at them. He killed at least one of her longest, closest friends. Her name was Emma. She had helped to raise the older girl when she was sent away. She went peacefully. But the girl, now a woman was injured…" SHe raised her shirt up and showed them scars, "She was shot, but she lived…"

"Mom…" Kalama said, now covering her mouth.

"I lived. I recovered. I got married to the man of my dreams, but I couldn't have the children that I thought that I would have. That turned out to be good news. Because, my husband and I met these three girls who lost their parents and only wanted to stay together. We didn't know that we wanted three girls, until we met them. They were sweet, beautiful, and the perfect fit for our home. They brought so much joy and goodness into a woman's life who had known of family to be dark and cold… And just like I fought for my mother, my sister, my friends, my lover, and myself, I would fight for them. I would kill for them, and die for them. So, believe me when I say, whether or not we run away… If anybody tries to do anything to anyone here, I will make them pay."

Kalama whimpered, "Mom… I thought that my sisters and I had it bad because our parents died. I thought it was one of the worst things that could happen to a child. But, they were good people, and we met good people to take us in when they were gone… I'm sorry that you had bad people, Mom. I'm so sorry…" She rushed to hug Tina and Tina rubbed her back.

"Don't be sorry, my little love. Everything that made me who I am gave me the heart to love you more than I ever imagined. All of you." She collected the rest of her girls and Beth hung back.

Beth said, "But… Those people, they _killed_ your sister and my dad. They've killed many people. They are trying to kill us. Wouldn't we have to also be killers to fight back and be able to win?" Her eyes were bloodshot red, and while Tina tried to think of something to say that wasn't, _It's okay I AM a killer…_

Blaine came rushing into the room and announced, "They've recovered the kids! Every Evans child is alive and on their way to being well."

Kurt exhaled, "Oh, thank God!" Whenever the door opened so urgently, he just _knew_ that there was more bad news. In fact, looking at Blaine's face, he could tell that there was more to it. But, now that the girls had been hit with this heavy revelation, then relief; they began to get cleaned up and ready for bed. Cooper was going to camp out in the room with them, because they felt safer with him there. The Andersons headed back to their beach house. Shelby, Carol, Burt, Finn and Rachel (with Babs held closely beside them) were going to go to bed, and some of the others would camp out and have drinks or whatever else.

Kurt, Blaine, Tina, Mike, Quinn, and Shannon remained awake and finished talking about everything. Kurt asked Blaine, "What weren't you telling us?"

Quinn folded her arms, frustrated and tired, "Sam's been stabbed and is in surgery." Kurt gasped. Tina's eyes widened and Mike reached for her hand. Quinn continued, "They haven't uploaded things, but I spoke with Aphasia. They're working overtime, God bless them - Sam was stabbed multiple times, Stevie finally killed Kendra Giardi and somebody else was found dead there, too. Guards are on Mercy, bringing her to the hospital. Guards are everywhere…" She jumped and shook her head, then pulled out her headset and handed it to Shannon, shaking her head and getting up to walk away.

Shannon put the device in her ear and wondered, "Hi? This is Shannon Beiste. Quinn left the phone. Could you please repeat whatever you told her?" The woman's face changed drastically and she bit her lip, "He's the only one, though, right? We haven't lost anybody else tonight, have we? Thank you. Thank you. Um.. I have to go. I have to tell my kids… Thank you." She took the earpiece off and Tina clenched Mike's hand in horror. _Sam is dead. Sam just died. He died in surgery. They couldn't save him._ The tears were already flowing. Shannon was trembling and Quinn came back with a bottle of liquor. "Well, Sweethearts, Dwight was also attacked, in Tennessee. Mama T is in the hospital, but Dwight didn't make it there.

"No," Kurt whimpered and shook his head. "Not Papa Dwight." He shook his head, "I can't do this again. I can't be here for this. I can't hear about it. I can't see it. I can't know these things! I can't live with these monsters haunting me!" He started crying. "They took Emma from Mercy, and now Papa Dwight? They TOOK her biological parents, and now her surrogates are gone…" He waved a hand at Shannon, "I mean, you, but…" He shook his head, "No. I can't believe that. I refuse. She can't go through this. She's stronger, sure, but she's not invincible. FOR FUCK'S SAKES!" Blaine collected him into a hug and he cried on him, "How are we going to have children in this climate, Blaine? How are we going to? I can't tell our kids what Tina had to tell hers tonight. I can't do it. I can't live with this…"

"Come on, Darling. Let's just retire for the night. You need a paxil?" Kurt just sobbed as he nodded and Blaine looked at the rest, apologetically and guided him away.

Quinn opened the bottle, took a swig and passed it on. "That was the last straw of the night," she said. "I'll look at it again, tomorrow."

"Not just Mercy, but how is Sam going to feel if he makes it?" Tina wondered and passed the bottle around.

Shannon cried, gently, "We'd just made plans with Dwight and Nish. We'd just spent time with them, hugged their necks, kissed their faces and said, "See you soon…" She took a super large gulp. "Shelby is gonna be devastated. I'll have to tell her first thing in the morning." She passed the bottle to Mike.

He poured some on the floor and said, "To Papa Dwight."

.

The weeks passed, life seemed to be going on as usual for the Fabray household and the Chang-Cohen-Changs. They extended themselves to their loved ones whenever they could, and of course attended Dwight's services and saw to it that they met any needs that the family had before going back home. Quinn had tasked Cooper with using his connections and contacts to stay in the loop of the investigations, both in Ohio and Tennessee. He didn't have contacts in Tennessee, but he knew some Washington connections who did.

Kurt was worried about his friends, but he never wanted to have to relive any of this again. He spoke with Cooper about disappearing, like Fannie and Quinn did(for a time), but after talking to Blaine, was content with the idea of disappearing forever. He certainly would miss everyone, but he wanted for himself, his parents - Rachel and Finn, and whoever else to just vanish with him. He talked to Mercedes after Dwight's funeral about it.

"Well, I survived Tina and Quinn moving away from me almost simultaneously… Our family has all been staying at the big house together, so I think I have all the emotional support I need. But, what's more important is _do you need this,_ Kurt?"

He sighed and looked at her. She was facing straight ahead, every muscle in her face was tired. She looked like she had aged many years in the few weeks since Hawaii. He crossed his hands over each other and said, "Remember when we became best friends?"

"Duh," she said, with a sad chuckle.

"We were so innocent and unaware of how hard promises were. We just knew that we couldn't handle any more heartache. Both of our moms were dead. We were in an institution. It seemed like life wouldn't get better, so we promised each other that no matter how bad it got, we would always be there for each other. We promised that we would always be friends. We promised eternal love…" He sniffled, "And girl, I still love you, but I don't have it in me to…"

"I get it," she said and reached out for him. "Kurt, you were catching public transportation to come see me after you got out, because you wanted to keep that promise. We've spent years, so many years of you keeping that promise and if you have to leave for your safety and peace of mind… That's not you breaking your end of the promise. Me accepting it is simply me keeping my end."

"I love you so much, Mercy. Like… I will always, always…"

She hugged him tightly, "I know…" They heard a scream come from the sanctuary and she gasped. "What in the world is happening now?" She wondered. Kurt wasn't sure if they should be ducking, running, or what, but he held tightly to her hand and tried to assess the room. A lot of people had already left and it was down to the close friends and family.

Marley came in and found Mercedes, "Hey… We're about to get you out of here, okay?"

"What happened? What was that scream?" She asked.

"It was Stacie. More… bad news, I'm afraid. But, let's just get you in the car, with the rest of the family, alright?" She helped her up and Kurt covered his heart as Blaine approached.

"It's Mama T. They can't find a pulse and she isn't breathing," he said. Marley threw him an aggravated look right when Mercedes collapsed to the floor and nearly took Marley with her. Blaine covered his mouth and rushed to help the other two help Mercedes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spring it on her…"

"Mercedes, are you conscious?" Marley asked.

"Yea… Yeah…" She could hardly breathe, though.

"Can you make it to the family car?" Marley wondered.

"Yes…" She squeezed Kurt's hand and asked, "Please, just for tonight, can you stay with me?"

"Of course, Queen." He fixed her hair and got into one of the family cars with her. Blaine would take the SUV and meet them at the big house. Whenever they came out with Mama T on a stretcher, with oxygen on, Kurt was looking out of the window and he said, "Hold up…" He got out of the car and rushed over to Stacie, "What's going on? What's happening, right now?"

"They found a light pulse. She's gonna live! She's gonna make it!" She said and gave Kurt a tight hug, cried, held her belly and caught her breath. "Tell my brothers I'm riding with her…"

She rushed to stay with Tanisha and Kurt sighed, and looked to the sky, "Good news. Finally, some good news…"

.

Mercedes was finally going to be back in the studio after taking an extended leave of absence from the show and focusing on her family. Whenever she did return, she didn't want to speak about the incident, racism, hate groups, or anything of the sort… but _now,_ the studio was interested. Now, they wanted to do an expose on her personal experiences with hate groups and were apologetic for having insisted that this level of racism was either dead or isolated incidents that didn't reflect any bigger picture. In other words, now that the issues that she'd previously cared about were in popular demand, they wanted a piece of the action.

But, she prepared a speech, "I would just like to address those of you who may be at home, wondering what exactly happened to my family, or what caused the things that you may have heard in the news, recently… Well, a while back, I wanted to talk about these things in this setting, but was met with very little support. I wish that I could take this opportunity to point out to everyone who doubted the issues of how wrong they were, but I can't have the satisfaction, you see. Because, I wanted to speak on these things, I was ridiculed and doubted. Now, my family has been attacked, for… God… How many times has it been, now? Our lives are a constant battle against these principalities… These powers, the rulers of the darkness of this world, spiritual wickedness in high places. These… White Devils!" The crowd and the panel gasped. "Don't cut to commercial, Carmichael, Girl…" She pointed in the direction of the woman and continued, "You're all about to let _me_ speak on _my_ show, about this realness. People have been attempting to kill people I love and me for years. People who actually do kill other people - some of them very slowly, and some of them spiritually, or mentally. When they fill your television sets and news feeds with bodies slain and justice overlooked, they're trying to kill your spirit. When they deny you adequate places to live, jobs, access to proper healthcare and healthy food, they're trying to kill your body. When they hit you with every microaggression from sunup to sundown and gaslight you when you DARE comment about it, they're trying to kill your mind. They do this to _all_ of us, every one.

But, they are trying to literally, blatantly, boldly, KILL my family. They are attacking and killing MY family and you now want to talk about it. Now, you want me to put on a show? NOW, somebody wants to listen? Not to help, but so you can cover the stuff that they're covering, out there!" She pointed off camera again, "Go ahead, cut to commercial. Fix that up however you want when we return." She ripped off her microphone and Sam quickly met her at the panel.

"Babydoll?"

"Let's go," she said. "I'm going." He helped her off of the stage while her co-hosts were confused.

"Are you quitting?" One of them asked.

"No. I'm moving forward," Mercedes said and took Sam's hand so that he could lead her out. Whenever they got outside, they were helped into their car by the driver and she said, "I didn't plan on that, but after I thought about it, nothing else made sense. If Kurt was able to walk away from something that caused him distress, I could too."

"You can make just as successful a show from our church, and you can say _whatever_ you want on that, Babydoll," Sam said. She just nodded her head. "Where should we tell the driver to go to?"

"Can we go to the lake, where we got married? I just want to sit beside some still waters and breathe in some fresh air. I feel like I have been suffocating for weeks," she cried. He collected her to himself and told the driver where to go.

When they got there, Sam waited for their security to check the place out and ensure that they indeed had not been followed before he got out of the car and helped her out, too. When they sat down, she said, "Should have brought along a book."

Sam shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'm sure we could have conversation just as entertaining or as soothing as any book that we own."

"With the spirits that we've been having, lately?" She wondered. He chuckled. "I thought when I met you that I was going to be helping you to have a better life. I wanted you to have another chance and I wanted it to be great."

"I did, and it was." He wrapped an arm around her. "We have had some really bad things happen, but we're still blessed. Please, never doubt that."

"You've now been shot and stabbed since then," she pointed out.

He twitched, thinking about both. Both were excruciatingly painful. He still had a few issues, but was getting better all the time. "In my lifetime, I've been beaten, imprisoned, raped, shot, and stabbed. Honestly… What else is there for me to fear. God obviously ain't done with me. I sure wish he'd stop letting me get janked up, though. What don't kill us makes us stronger and they say God prepares us through trials… I'm honestly wondering what in heaven, earth and hell am I bein' prepared for?"

"The apocalypse? I mean… with this president, the world gotta be ending like some upcoming Tuesday or something…" They both laughed. "Tina's girls now want to learn to be monster slayers, like their mom. She's going into more extensive training with them. Should… We be training our children to fight? Should we be preparing them for attacks? Stevie had plans in motion and they STILL got two of his kids. What if they had hit us? What if it was at our house? I keep wondering and worrying. I can't see, The children are ALL small. It could have been a bloodbath. It could have been like the Rutherfords…"

Sam flinched again. He had been thinking about them more than he had in a few years, now. With Matt being there for everything that happened, and the same kind of people having attacked them - all he could think about was what he did and how it could have happened to him, to his… How even with losing just his father, the Earth shifted under his feet and knocked him on his ass… That he had helped to do that to somebody else's family. It wasn't like he'd forgotten, but he had at least forgiven himself. Now, with having _felt_ a stabbing, having had his family hit, violence done to his loved ones in such a way that a few less crafty moves could have ended in multiple deaths, including children. And _he_ had done that before.

"The part that terrifies me the most is if it had happened, I would have deserved it, but none of you would have."

"Sam, don't…"

"I did this. I did this very same thing to someone else and I promised myself that I would spend the rest of my life atoning for it and I attacked one of them, and I just… I don't know if I deserve to keep surviving and I'm starting to think that it isn't that God is preparing me for anything, but that he's still punishing me, for things that man didn't punish me for. Everyone else involved is still serving time, dead or in hiding. I was the bold one who made a name and a career off of what we did. I fashioned myself a survivor. Not even Stevie respected me..."

"Maybe not, but you _only_ have to answer to God, and He'll let you know what He expects. I don't know what that is, but I know that it isn't whatever this is."

"It shouldn't have been Daddy. It should've been me."

"Strangely enough I heard Stevie say the exact same thing recently. Now, he's been atoning for his sins, amending his ways, and actively fighting for redemption. Two different paths, same conclusion. That makes me think that both of you have just been programmed to think that everything has to be your fault, that the world is on your shoulders… News flash, it's not. It's not on either of your shoulders. The weight that both of you are trying to carry is going to make both of you crumble. None of us need that right now, Sam. ALL of us need both of you."

He sobbed, "And I need my daddy." He whimpered and she held him tightly, letting him let all of this out."

"Losing a parent is like losing a part of yourself because you're literally made up of the same stuff as them. There had to be so many things aligned for them to be them and to make you into you, then they took what they made, molded and took care of it. They taught it and nurtured it… Then suddenly, they were gone. It was hard for me as a tween and you had more than twice as much time with him. It will make sense if you NEVER get over it. But, I just hope that you never give up because of it."

"Course not," he said, sniffling.

"I feel like I should also point out that in my many years of fellowship with Dwight, _he too,_ often blamed himself for everything wrong with the family, aka everything wrong in the world. So, I think that he passed that trait on to his sons. I think that all of you try to be stronger than needed and ultimately, we just want you to be happy and safe. Sometimes, we have to fight for that to be so, but sometimes… You have to also REST for it to be so. Baby, you've been going non-stop, whether writing sermons, handling construction business, tending to Mama T in rehab, touching base with security, personally escorting me everywhere that I need to go, helping with the kids, helping with the nieces and nephews, meetings at the church, plans for the clinic… This is the first time that you've simply stopped for a minute."

"And look how it's turned out," he said, still crying.

"Like it should be. Tears only come when they need to get out! Let them out, Mr. Amazing." He continued to cry on her for a while longer. He didn't do this often. She definitely would let him, but he didn't _like_ to do it. Whenever he was simply lying there, resting against her for a while, she suggested, "Let's go see him."

.

Sam had not been to the burial site since he watched the box that he knew his father was in be lowered into the ground. He felt like so much of himself was being buried, as well. Now, they were at this grave and they didn't even have flowers with them. No biggie… Stacie had clearly been here, religiously. Sam looked at the gravestone, each line also had a Braille translation beneath it:

 _Here Lies the Body of Dwight Anderson Evans._

 _His spirit is in a better place and he awaits the loved ones he has left behind. Beloved husband, father, grandfather, and friend. He left a legacy of love and will be missed dearly until met again._

 _June 16, 1958 - June 25, 2018_

Sam said, "We didn't even say "Happy Birthday," to Jake."

Mercedes sadly said, "I don't know how Mama T will rectify that she officially lost her husband on the day that she gave birth to her son."

"I can easily see them simply not talking about it," Sam said. "The whole month will be hell for her. She'll have Daddy's birthday, deathday, her anniversary and Jake's birthday all clustered together… We'll have to be sure to pay close attention to her next year when the time rolls around."

"If she makes it that long." She shook her head, "I know she wants to try to make his death mean something, but she was barely holding on when we dropped her off at rehab."

"I don't think Stacie could handle it if she didn't make it…" Sam said. "That alone gives me faith that she just _has_ to."

To Dwight, Mercedes said, "Hey… We really miss you, all of us. Hopefully, you and my parents are getting on well, talking about the parts that they missed, letting them see up close photos of their grandkids. I imagine this every single night. It's helped me get to sleep. I think that my parents have tried to watch me, but life in heaven is full of joy and celebration. They can't simply look at me all the time, so now they have another friend. Emma gave them everything that they missed from the time that I was 12 until the time that she died, and now you're telling them all about everything in between. Emma's surely shocked that we finally have children, but not at all surprised that Tina's adopted three of her own. In my mind, you produced an album, and you've shown all of them - Kurt's mom his wedding, Tina's mom her things… Because, they're all kind of shy people who stay to themselves… But, you, Papa Dwight - you reached out to people and made friends. Then, you cared about them. I see you loving all of our loved ones like they're your own, like you loved us. I hadn't told you this since we parted ways… Because, I know that no matter how busy it gets in Heaven, if _anybody's_ gonna check up on us, it'll be you." She turned her head towards Sam and reached for his hand. He accepted it and squeezed it.

"That was beautiful, Babydoll. You should have told me…" He pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her. "That's the most beautiful thought that I've had since this happened."

"Maybe it'll be the first episode of my new show," she said.

"It should at least be something that you share with the rest, unless it's just too personal for you."

"No. If it helps," she said, smiling.

"Can I put it in a sermon?" he wondered.

"What's mine is yours, My Love." He kissed her on the cheek and they felt a breeze blow across them. She smiled warmly. "Ready to head home?" She asked.

"Yeah… I think… I'll be okay. Thank you for bringing me here. I love you, more than I can put into words."

"I understand it. I love you more than I can even put into song."


	35. The Resurfacing

**The Resurfacing**

Whenever Mama T. came home from rehab, they had cleared out all of the alcohol, and she was oddly overly positive, like she was trying to convince herself that she was alright. She didn't really want to bother with anyone but her grandchildren, and she spent 0 time online, now, unless she had to be.

So, she wasn't aware that several websites had leaked information about Stevie having multiple affairs and the Internet was dragging him for 1 - cheating on his dying wife (they don't know he didn't know), 2 - fetishizing black women (there were only Cheriesque conquests in his catalog), and having recorded or allowed himself to be recorded, knowing he was out there eating dark meat up like KFC was bankrupt. (Actual things people had said on the Internet).

Now, Stevie had apparently been followed and/or set up by women he was with for so much of that to be out there. But, it was now on the Internet, so… forever. Fortunately, there was nothing out there about Bree, but Cheri was taking the fact that _everyone_ knew now very hard. Marley had released statements that they were separated at the time and have since reconciled and been completely faithful, since.

Truth was, Mama T ALSO didn't know that Bree spent her nights shacked up in Stevie and Cheri's bed while Jake was camped out at the hospital, and when she went to rehab, the four of them clustered together in that bedroom, every night.

Mama T didn't know that Jake was so depressed over losing Papa Dwight the way that they had, and almost losing her, that he could hardly stand to be in his wing of the house. Bree generally went back and forth to retrieve clothes and whatever else. The only thing he did in his wing was cry by himself and clean up his face afterwards.

.

She absolutely, positively did not realize that Stacie had to spend a couple of weeks on bed rest while she was in rehab, because the stress of obsessively waiting at the hospital had taken its toll on her body and _almost_ on her baby. She _did_ know about the baby. That gift was still accounted for.

She didn't know that Joe was so tired from juggling waiting on Stacie hand and foot, counseling his whole family, group prayers and church meetings, that he almost passed out in the pulpit, covering for Sam, because his blood sugar was low.

Tanisha certainly had not been told that Mercedes quit her job on live TV and was in the process of suing the station for pain and distress of trying to push that exclusive interview after months of refusing to let her speak, grievances over creative content that she put into the show and expected to leave with. They could have the cohosts, panel, previous episodes, etc… But not her intellectual property. They could make their own show or keep whatever else, but she intended to make her show everything that she'd wanted that show to be, everything that had been denied to her, and everything that had been given. It was a fight that she wasn't too tired to back down from.

Also, Sam never would have told her about how hectic his life was, how he needed someone medical on standby at virtually all times, just in case, along with the security, an assistant vetted by Marley, oftentimes Marley herself, and multiple arrangements with Holly and Stevie's (now everyone's) psychiatrist, to try to keep the family sane while all of the legal proceedings took place and all of the investigations that were still open were worked on. Dr. Hitchens regularly checked on him, just because he trusted her more than any other medical professional. He was semi concerned that he might develop an opiate addiction, because he was in enough pain that he kept having to have his prescriptions refilled.

Overworking himself in order to be an appropriate head of household to an extended family (nobody really wanted to move back into their own places now that they had been here for a couple of months, and even though everyone was perfectly capable of taking care of their own individual households while under this roof… Sam took it upon himself to try to make sure that he was looking out for everyone. They couldn't lose anybody else. Not on his watch.

Other troubles included accusations of plagiarism and a resurgence of angry activists about all of the inaccuracies with the original book about things, the movie, the show and basically everything that began his reputation and career. He knew exactly what this was. He hadn't been successful enough in the past to ever be on the receiving end of it to this degree. Now that he was, he saw it for what it was - the white sheets coming for him while they were down. That was why Stevie's affairs (which he wasn't allowed to ask or speak about) were rising to the surface, and why accusations against him were making their comeback. The rumors that he killed Jesse St. James were even back in the spotlight.

He had to admit, he was curious if Stevie's friend had leaked that bit of information, but everyone who knew her insisted that if she were to strike him, it wouldn't be this way, while their family was going through this. Stevie might have, had he been a target of his, but she tended to exercise at least some modicum of consideration. But, he knew that the white sheets had always known that he was behind Jesse's death and they never used it. It was never valid, so he wasn't sure if they had proof or it simply was not a useful move in the past. If THEY were using it now, he knew that this was probably the end. He knew that the attacks inflicted on their family were the beginning. He just didn't know when the next strike would be or how long of a game they were playing. That was why, even with a beautiful wife, wonderful kids, and a family as close as they ever been, it was still difficult for him to rest.

So, whenever Mama T got home and she asked, "What have I missed?"

EVERYONE in unison lied, "Not much!" From that point on, she kept herself secluded on in her and Dwight's wing, and went out of the exit on that side of the house to commune with the dogs, came back inside to wash up, invited her grandkids into that portion to spend whatever time that she could with them, and send them back to their parents when they didn't want to chill anymore. She was staying to herself, trying to stay busy, and wanted to stay content. But, there was something empty happening within her. She needed to fill it with something, and she knew that it couldn't be alcohol, even though she had used that for many years - even before she ever met Dwight, just to make it through the day. She had never realized how dependent on it she was, until it threatened her life.

Mama T had drank everyday of her adult life since Jake was 3. She had now literally drank for 20 years straight, AND had almost literally drank herself to death. She didn't even need to look at alcohol.

Enough time had passed that things didn't quite smell like Dwight anymore. It didn't even smell like home. He still had soap here, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, and she could take little whiffs of each and try to remember it on him, but there was a distinct _Dwight_ essence that was gone and she missed it so much. When she cuddled up with her body pillow at night and browsed through all of the photos that everyone had generously rounded up to scan, send to her, tag her in, etc, per her request, she could almost grasp it. But, another portion of him was lost to her, and she felt like eventually, all of it would be. Five years was not enough, not for feelings like these. They needed more time. He deserved to live to be a hundred, at least. And how long would _she_ live, now? Was she here for the next 50 years, without him? She didn't want to think about it, or the fact that all of her kids were handling her with kid gloves. She wasn't sure if they were afraid that she was going to relapse or if they were just too hurt to talk, but she wasn't going to force anyone to do anything.

.

Sam knocked on her door and she opened it, without checking who it was or anything. "Hey, we're tryin' to be sure to confirm that it's safe on the other side of the door, in case someone gets inside of the house, somehow."

"Your dad tried to teach me to shoot. I did more scaring animals off than I did hunting whenever we went…" she said, "But, I'd like to think if I was face to face with one of the animals that took him out, _they'd_ be the ones that aren't safe." She put her hands in her jeans pockets and asked, "What's up?"

"We just got a delivery for you. It's from the Tennessee house…" She gasped and rushed passed him and down the stairs, to the front door, where Stevie, Matt, Jake and Bree were standing and talking quietly.

 _Stevie: This troubles me deeply in my soul._

 _Matt: It's creepy, right? That's not just me. This is extremely weird and creepy._

 _Jake: Just… Leave it alone. She obviously needs this…_

She cleared her throat and approached them. Stevie simply asked, "Why do you have this?"

She grabbed the lifesize cardboard cutout of Dwight, tucked it safely under her arm and told them, "It was for a promo at the home improvement stores and when it was finished, I wanted to keep one. Now, I'm glad that I did. Anything else I need to explain to my children?"

"No. Sorry, I wasn't trying to…" Stevie looked at the ground and she walked off, carrying it. The others shook their heads at him. "I was just curious!" Stevie said.

"Right, but the woman lost her husband and almost died twice. Just, give her space and don't question anything unless it's dangerous," Matt advised. "She's already trying to get back into a normal life that is anything but normal for her. It's hard to come out of rehab and go to regular life. She had to come out and come back to life flipped on its head, and she can't even have one calming glass of wine."

Sam finally made it back down the stairs and told the group, "I've got some contracts to look over for EvansStrong. If anybody wants to set up a masseuse for Mama T, I'd greatly appreciate that bein' handled."

Stevie told him, "Oh, we have her set up with appointments for a while. Cheri handled it. Gimme a stack of work or something. You look half past dead."

"I've only got the construction stuff on my plate today. Go enjoy a day out, or something."

"You kiddin'? More people are pissed at me now than when I killed somebody," Stevie said. "If I'm going anywhere, it's to my quarters."

Bree commented, "I didn't realize how gigantic this place was until we moved in here. This is like… five houses, put together."

"That's exactly what it is. Five houses with one roof," Sam said. "Though, we've got most of the doors locked off. Only using the front and back doors and Mama T's been using her side door."

.

Stacie and Mama T sat on the second story patio looking at the yard and Mama T commented, "Sometimes, it seemed like he was building on to this place like he was running out of time…"

Stacie nodded, "He did most things like he was running out of time. It was hard for a lot of people to tell. Not you, I know… But…"

"He was a very anxious person," they both said at the same time and chuckled. Stacie added, "You helped him to calm down _a lot._ I don't know if I have ever thanked you for it, for being such a positive change in his life and being the woman that he needed and deserved."

Mama T shook her head, "All I was was myself, and for whatever reason, he enjoyed her. And, I really enjoyed him. Everything that I'd heard about him had been secondhand information and I was honestly nervous to even be in the same room with the man. Then, when he wasn't in a room, it felt so lonely. I missed him when we were apart, even if I knew he was on the other side of the door… You understand that, or you and Joe have some other type of love? Probably something otherworldly while also natural and of the Earth."

"Joe and I both look to our relationship with God before anything else. It's been hard for him, I know - to have to consider so many different things happening. He's never shied away from risk or danger. The night I met him, he'd gone into a warehouse of Nazis to help rescue the women Stevie took. I wasn't even really paying attention to him at that time, especially when Mama and Stevie didn't return with the rest of them. But, whenever I did notice him, I knew. I knew him and I knew this was what I wanted. Then, I had to wait for God to make it plain to him." She laughed. "I've had this unique and pleasurable privilege to be able to watch every single relationship in this household develop and grow."

"You're the only one that goes out of your way to make sure that you visit and see everybody."

"Yeah!" She laughed. "I knew when Stevie fell for Cheri. I knew when Jake fell for Bree. I met Mercy right at the beginning of her and Sammy's relationship and we moved in with them shortly afterwards. But, I never saw you coming. I loved you. I adored you, but whenever you and Daddy got together, I was so afraid that he was gonna end up heartbroken. I thought that you'd have some fun, have some good laughs, and you'd part ways being friends and stealing glances, seeing each other every few years, reminiscing about the last time and wondering what if. And even though, in that scenario, Daddy would maybe still be alive, I wouldn't change things, if I could. Because, he got to have a beautiful and wonderful love before he died."

"And I got to lose one," Mama T said, sadly.

"For now. But, I think with time, even though I won't like him at first and it'll be real hard to get any of us to accept that he's good enough for you… I honestly can see you eventually moving on, and it's my wish that when and if you do, you get to love them as much as you were able to love Daddy and they'll love you the way that you deserve."

"I'm never even thinking about it, Stacie. It's okay. I'm about to be 50. I keep… coming across plans that Dwight had for my birthday… And I just want to believe that they took him and gave us a replacement body, like we're in a soap opera or a gritty thriller, and that he'll reemerge and run off with me." She cried. "But, I'm sure it's more like Mercy's image of heaven. Him wooing all of the others and very likely building a huge, spacious mansion for the rest of us to eventually join him in. It's a beautiful thought, but it also tears my soul into pieces…"

Stacie got up and moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her. "One day, it won't. I know it won't, Mama."

.

Sam happened upon Stevie on the lower patio, keeping an eye on the kids as they played in the yard. They were all finally fearless enough to play again without watching their backs, but Stevie wasn't nearly as confident, yet. Sam sat down by him and Stevie moved his things on the table around to make room. "No, don't trouble yourself. I don't have anything with me. It's not in my way." After a moment, he wondered, "How have you been holding up?"

Stevie sighed and said, "My wife didn't leave me, but then again - with everything going on, she probably feels stuck with me."

"Naw, she loves you. She wouldn't leave you for anything, at least not at this point. I don't know what you must've felt when they attacked the house, but I know a thing or two about bonding through trauma."

"Everything we have is built on trauma," Stevie sadly admitted.

"I doubt that. She's sorta adopted me as her new Papa, and I can tell, just from the little bit of time I've spent with her over the past few months that there's never been anyone more important to her than you. Except for the kids, but that's to be expected."

"Has she… Said anything to you about the news?"

"The affair scandal? No. I don't know that she would talk to me about that."

"Then, you ain't her new Papa," Stevie said.

"Do _you_ want to talk to me about it? As my brother?" Sam wondered.

"No. I've talked about it as much as I want to, thank you. But, if you just feel like conversation, I can speak to you about work," Stevie said.

Sam raised an eyebrow, "Like… Your charity work or your personal work?"

"Those are the same thing, but do you mean my investigation into the white sheets that killed Daddy? Because, that's what I was talking about."

Sam nodded, moved in closer and asked, "What have you got?"

"We think we may have nailed down where Preston Schuester is. Some of Matt's personnel have caught wind of activity in Washington."

"Do… You think that he's trying to contact Rose?" Sam wondered, already ready to warn Quinn, unlocking his phone.

"Maybe. It… Looks like from what we've uncovered… Well, you know how Preston Schuester fathered Rose, even though it was his son Will's wife who had the baby?"

"Yeah, that's kinda why I asked that."

"Let me process as I speak, please." Stevie continued, "Well… I never told you about this, but I think you might have heard about the breeding program?"  
"Right, Rick used to say that I'd make a good stud, but they would never take me, because I had too many tattoos, which meant too many needles and they'd see it as potential imperfections to the kids," Sam said.

"Okay. I was actually a part of that program, so I know a little bit about it on a low tier level…" Sam looked surprised, but didn't interrupt. Stevie finished, "I wasn't aware that there _were_ leveled tiers, but apparently, there are… And among the breeding stock…"

"Preston Schuester," Sam completed the thought. "Okay, but why does he suddenly care about his offspring, to be in Washington, possibly retrieving Rose. I thought that he didn't even care about having daughters. He didn't care about Emma."

Stevie shook his head, "I don't think that he particularly cares about Rose. I think that she's simply the last one living and with all that's taken place… He's _had_ to have been pulled from the program, at this point. But, it may be deeper than that. It may be more personal. Look at this…" He turned his laptop around. "These are files that Jane obtained on the Giardi Triplets and files regarding three other red headed individuals who happen to have a lot of similarities and features as them."

Sam studied the screen for a while, the letters were getting mixed around and there were a lot of open tabs. "Bro - I'm dyslexic. This is a lot going on for my eyesight…"

"Right. Sorry. Basically, what it looks like to Jane, and I'm subject to agree is that these three individuals never actually existed and were simply backups for the Giardis. Now, one of them should be a familiar name - Max Van Zonder."

"That was the alias that Max Giardi used whenever he met Cheri."

"That was the alias that he was living under from the time that the trouble began with he and his brothers. As soon as Kyle was arrested, Josh and Max suddenly disappeared, and Max Van Zonder suddenly appeared. He began to use his credit cards and other shit. He officially became a functioning person when they took the hit of losing Kyle, and a younger guy named Jonathan Fleischer also seemed to appear. Well, he only had any type of activity between then and when Joshua Giardi died. But, this other guy Cameron Donatello… He never quite got off of the ground. He didn't really ever create a paper trail besides being born. So, what it looks like is whenever the Giardi triplets were born, alternate identities were faked for them. Whenever they ran into trouble of being caught, those identities were activated… well… two of them were. One of them died and one of them went on - the one that we know of Max Giardi, aka Max Von Zonder, and activity stopped whenever Max died."

"Okay. You've figured out how they vanish, but how do they… I don't know… do that? If they create the identity whenever they're born, how do the ones that _aren't_ so connected vanish, as well?" Sam wondered.

"That's the thing - usually, they just use typical fraud parameters, _but_ the fact that the Giardis were given well, you know… _Foundation_ protection is a key giveaway that they couldn't have just been some flunky brotherhood infantry level trash, like we've always presumed."

"Well, they're Preston's great nephews via marriage, and he adored Terri. I think he'd have covered her sister's kids," Sam said.

"That's the sweet and innocent version. The one that I'm more likely to believe is that Preston…" he keyed some things into his computer, "Was Kendra's baby-daddy, meaning that the triplets would have been his own flesh and blood. More importantly, after finding out everything about Will's genes on his mom's side…"

"The triplets would have been his only white sons…" Sam said. _And more importantly,_ "And we destroyed all of them. I mean, Kendra saw it that way and there was always something that seemed wrong about her having that many connections willing to attack so hard. But, if they were there in _Schuester's_ old name, on behalf of _his_ sons… That might be different."

"None of their DNA is on file where we could easily find it, but Matt was able to get into some files of Josh's and compare them to Will's (which he still had from his dad's investigation into him)... They do have the same daddy."

Sam scoffed, "Preston Schuester was the father of the Giardi triplets. That makes sense, now. I'd always wondered how a throw away soldier pawn like Giardi had children who were so in the inner circle, EVEN being related through Terri… the Schuesters threw away everyone that didn't have value to them. Sons would have had enough value to keep nearby."

"But, Will most likely would have kept them beneath him, knowing that when people found out who he really was that the Giardis would take his inheritance. His father disowned him, immediately. He would have been ready to elevate his purer sons just as quickly if he'd realized that they were all who could pass his name on. Preston being a breeder wouldn't have thought much of impregnating Terri for Will - I'm sure he spun it in such a way where it seemed like he and Terri either couldn't have kids or that he wanted Preston's heir to continue on their legacy. So, he was deceived, and when he realized that he could have been making his sons what they needed to be all along…"

"Max was already too far gone into vengeance mode." Sam covered his mouth… "If… That's the case, he'd be going after the kids, right?" He suddenly looked at the children and got up to round them up and tell them that it was time to go inside, get cleaned up and do some fun stuff in the house. Bree and Cheri collected them for him and he returned to Stevie, who continued the conversation where he left off.

"It means that he would blot out our entire family, because in his mind, especially now… We have destroyed the Schuester dynasty. We've ruined their name. We've killed his sons and their mothers. We've taken his daughters and much of his property. He will want each and every last one of us dead," Stevie said. "Most of all, me and you. Probably more you circa 2012, but definitely more me today."

"It doesn't matter when it's OUR family. And… I mean, how reliable is this information?" Sam wondered. "Maybe we're just being very paranoid. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Here is the files that Jane found on whether or not you killed Jesse St. James," Stevie said.

Sam looked over his shoulder and sighed, "She's damned good."

"The best since Dre. I trust in the information that she finds."

"Shit," Sam said. "Wait, why do you still have this? Especially after the leaking of all of your affair stuff? Is this the reason that this conversation is back? Could they have gotten this when they got into your system?"

"This is encrypted," Stevie said and closed it out. "So… Washington. Matt and I are gonna gather a team and head that way." He shut the laptop. "I've gotta pack."

"Just like that?" Sam asked.

"What… Do you think that I normally do?" he asked.

"I don't know. I suppose I thought that you argued online, went to rallies, and sometimes got into fist fights at those rallies," Sam said.

Stevie furrowed his eyebrows. "I mean, yeah, I do… and then, I also do this. I can't just send someone to go check and see if something is going on, and with Preston, this is personal. For me and for Matt."

"For all of us," Sam corrected him.

"Yeah. But, they need you here," Stevie reminded him. "And your busted up ass would get us all killed." He threw him a smirk. "I don't know when we'll be back, but I have to get ready and also kiss the ground my wife walks on to smooth her over about it." He started to leave, then paused, "Sammy, if I don't make it back…"

"I'll always look after what's yours the same way I do my own, Stevie, you know that."

"I was gonna say it's okay if Jake fucks my wife," Stevie joked. Sam didn't know whether to laugh or what.

.

Stevie hugged and kissed everyone on his way off of the safehouse grounds. Sam noticed that Bree and Cheri both cuddled into Jake, sadly and worried before the three of them vanished into Stevie's wing of the house. That whole arrangement was bizarre to him, but he couldn't judge. He was too worried about his little brother walking into possible danger, on behalf of all of them here. He was also concerned about what would and could happen if Stevie didn't make it back. How would the family handle another loss and how long would this be happening to them, the children in particular?

Sam led prayer, played with the kids, checked on Stacie and Mama T, who had been having a four day spa weekend together, checked on Cheri, who was bundled up with her kids, all five wanting to spend every night in her bed with her while Stevie was away (and he supposed that Jake and Bree had gone back to Jake's wing to give them the required space, and finally, he retired in his wing with his wife and children. Mercedes said, almost as soon as he came in, "I miss the fruit trees."

Sam smiled and sat next to her on the bed, "I miss the whole house. I miss normalcy. I miss comfort and safety. I miss peace. But, with all of that, I still manage to miss the fruit trees. We'll have some planted here."

"Because, we're here to stay?" she wondered.

"I'm sorry, Babydoll. We gotta, for a while."

"Sorry for what? I love being here with the whole family. You remember when you met me, I was almost constantly surrounded by family. I mean, they weren't blood, but I spent just about every day and night with them nearby. This is the most comfortable that I've been in a long time. Oddly enough, even with everything that has been going on… I don't think that I miss peace. In fact, I think that I went through a world of madness for many years in order to have peace for right now. If I can give you some, well that would fill me up with joy."

Sam smiled, "Woman, if my lungs were back to good, I'd wear you out tonight."

"Your lungs are… I mean… At least oral pleasure good, right?" She asked.

"I mean… I've gotten winded doing less, but this is definitely worth the risks," he said, laughing. "Wait. Oral on me or oral on you?"

"What kinda…?"

"Because I wanna DO the oral!" Sam insisted, getting closer and gathering her up.

"What's da ora?" Heaven asked, appearing in the doorway. "Is that a game?"

Sam bit his lip as Mercedes giggled and said, "Yeah, baby. It's a grown up game."

"Aww, Man," Heaven said, coming into the room and settling on the bed. "Grown up games be fun, huh?"

Mercedes collected him into an embrace and said, "They sure do be!" and started tickling him. "Mama bear, Baby bear games be fun too, though!"

"I'm not baby bear! I'm big boy bear or bumblebee, Mama! It's me! Heaven!" he took her hands and put them on her face.

"Boy, I know my baby's voice! You're my baby, too. All of you are my babies!"

"What about Daddy? Daddy is Papa Bear."

"Papa Bear is my baby, too!" She said.

"WHAT?" Heaven wondered, amazed. "HOW?"

"Because I love him SO much!" Mercedes explained.

"Well, that's a baby? I thought a baby lived in your belly! News to me, Mama. You mean… Aunt Stacie is MY baby? Uncle Joe? Cowboy?"

Sam leaned towards her, remembering her taunting him about the three bears whenever she delivered and Heaven had been confused about babies and bears. "So, um… Just wanna point out, this misunderstanding is completely on you…" Sam told her.

She cackled into the sky and Heaven wondered, "Is this a grown up laughing?" Which only made them laugh more and him join in, in confusion.

.

Stevie made arrangements to meet up with Matt and Aphasia at Happy Place and they were going to go with their collective and with the guards to the airport, so that they could travel to Washington together, meet up with Matt's old friend and set up shop to try to get a handle on the Preston Schuester bull. He wasn't sure how long he would be gone, so he decided that he would "feed the pigs" before he left. The last thing that he needed to do was be gone for a while and come back to cells of dead bodies because Dani forgot to throw some slop in the troughs. He parked his car in the back parking garage, and went in through the back.

Whenever he got inside, the alarms weren't set. That was unusual, because Dani was very proficient about the alarms, if nothing else in her vague job description of "answering the phones, posting to social media, and locking up, among other various tasks." He pulled out his cell phone and called her. He heard it ringing and went into his office, following the sound. "Dani?" He called out, reaching for one of the stashed pipes he had in the place, suspiciously looking around. Someone answered the phone.

"I've been waiting on you to arrive," a man's voice said. "If you could put down that weapon and come downstairs, I would very much appreciate it."

"Who the fuck is this and where is Dani?"Stevie asked.

"She's down here, with the rest of them. We were expecting you. Come on down and let's finally talk about everything that you think you know."

"Who is this?" Stevie asked.

"Oh, you don't know? You've been searching for me. The name is Preston Maxwell Schuester. Now, do you want to come have a conversation with me, or do I have to have it with your rainbow haired friend? I have to tell you, she doesn't seem up for it…" Stevie threw the pipe down and went to go downstairs to the dungeon. Whenever he came down, a couple of goons grabbed him to search him and he was finally faced with a man that he had only heard and read about, never met.

He noticed Dani, in one of the cells, tripping out. She probably hadn't been able to take her meds for however long she had been locked up. Add to that, inside of the cell with her were the guards that were supposed to be hidden outside to keep an eye on the place were dead, not too far away from her. Stevie guessed at least two days that they had been there. He hadn't spoken with Dani today, but these would have already been there, even when last she spoke to him on the phone. He wasn't sure how long Preston and his flunkies had been here.

"Ah, Steven James Evans. We meet at last," he said, right before someone hit Stevie in the head and knocked him unconscious. The last thing he heard was, "Strap him to the chair. He'll get to learn what my forefathers built this place for."


	36. The Repugnance

**The Repugnance**

Stevie woke up to the faces of several young children, most of them boys, all of them younger than 12, and all of them looking amused at him, with a bright light shined in his face, to where he could hardly focus, but saw enough. "Did I properly capture the aesthetics?" Stevie didn't answer him. Preston turned the light down. "I only had your description to go from…" He opened his phone and glanced at something, "I have this nightmare, sometimes - where the seed that I donated before being pulled from the program had been used. In the dream, I wake up, unable to move, surrounded by a hoard of blond children and I just know that they're mine; but I never get to see what they do to me, now that they've found me…"

Stevie stared straight ahead, avoiding looking at any of these children, or Preston. He was still a bit disoriented, but lucid enough to decide not to focus on anybody and to try to mentally put himself in a safe place. Preston said, "It's fine if you don't respond. There are no questions that I have for you, and any of the information that I might have for you, it will all be shared accordingly. Hopefully, you enjoyed my sensational website documenting your indiscretions. Honestly, we weren't surprised when you began sleeping around. We were a little shocked that it took you so long. Perhaps, you'd been living the lascivious life and simply couldn't keep it as secret once you were put out to pasture by the wife. Because the first several were quite liberal. Could you imagine how much footage we would have had if you continued down _that_ path? You were like an insatiable beast, on the hunt for… dark meat." Stevie flinched, but kept just trying to center himself.

"Without further adieu, I feel that I should introduce you to the Unlucky 13 Platoon. Dystra, front and center!" A child stepped forward and Stevie reflexively looked at him, then was stuck on him. "I know that you recognize Jamie Dystra. You've liked a few of his photos on social media, despite not being friends with his mother on social media. I don't know how the mind of a person like you works, but I think that if there's any similarities between you and any other man, you've probably noted the similar features between yourself and the child, even possibly did the math and figured that the timeline is right. What you also likely did - what I likely would have done was remember that she probably screwed at least 20 other guys in the same time frame. Then, what _I_ would have done would have been to pay money for a DNA test, and if it turned out that I was the father, paid her off and gotten her to agree to silence. What you probably did was rationalize that you wouldn't see her again and unless she came to you making claims, she didn't want you to be a father, anyway. So, what _I_ did was hunt down every single woman that ever knew you. You didn't have anyone in your catalog like the one that you married. Most of these people were penniless or part of the Foundation. Some were simply excited for the opportunity to have lunch with Preston Schuester and be of some help. Others were pretty cheap. At any rate, I was able to find what I now fondly call the Unlucky 13. Women who thought that because Candace Dystra and Charlie Darling got knocked up by the same kid during a sexy weekend roust that they were getting a pretty sweet deal. A free batch of Aryan semen from someone who wouldn't battle them in court or tell them no. And if you didn't turn out to be a complete failure, they would have had their dream children. Instead, they got these…" He held out a hand to them. "Not a high caliber bunch, but useful, nonetheless."

Now, Stevie looked at the other children. They were mostly boys, and there appeared to be… he counted… 16 of them. This _had to_ be a ruse. _There was no way that he had 16 children out there. None._

"As a matter of fact, I do believe that I should give the signal for my specialist to leak the information. DNA test results, physical proof of this, so that we all know it's real."

"If you think that you'll somehow psychologically break me, I have some news for you. You're way too late," Stevie finally said.

"Oh, I don't doubt that. You are definitely a psychopath, with what I've seen. This dungeon of people that God only knows what they did for you to believe that they deserved a cell here. I want to wait until your body is found and your followers mourn, believing in a martyr, to show the world what you really were. All of the abductions, beatings, murders. I'm curious to know if you've fucked more women or killed more men in your stumblebum lifetime, but it seems rude to ask… Top three, step forward!" Three boys followed the order and Preston introduced them, "You've met Jamie Dystra, this is Chuck Darling, his twin sister Charlize is over there, and Jackpot July. Now, Jackpot's only a nickname. The kid's name is actually Jacksonville, but we call him Jackpot, because he can do things like this…" Preston snapped his fingers, Jackpot withdrew a gun and fired it at Dani, without even looking at her.

She groaned and held herself. Stevie's eyes were wide, staring at her and having some flashes in his mind. "If you think that seems familiar, it's because Jackpot hit her in the exact same spot that Mary Evans was shot, when my son killed her."

Stevie took a swallow and began to whisper, "Cheri, Cowboy, Woody, Sheva, Sterling, Charmaine…"

"Is that what you do when you're stressed out? Name the people that you're going to watch die. Where on the list does rainbowhead fall?" Preston asked. Stevie looked over at Dani, struggling and writhing in pain. He wanted to rage at Preston and promised him that he would fucking kill him for this, whether or not Dani made it, but that would give him pleasure, and Stevie was trying really hard not to do that.

"Dani…" He called out, gently. She tried to look his way, but she was in so much pain. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that I've ever put you through, okay? I know, this takes the cake and it's too little too late, but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry and I never could have done all of this without you. You downplayed yourself a lot, but I needed you and I'm thankful that I had you…" She smiled a little bit and opened her mouth to say something, but Preston snapped his fingers and the top three all fired one shot into her. One in her heart, one in the head and one right where the last one was. Stevie bit his lips and laid his head back as Dani's blood ran from her body the way that he saw happen to others before. None of the others mattered this way.

"Glad you got to tell her how you felt," Preston said. "Sometimes, it's good to get things off your chest before you go, which was why, I think that your little girlfriend made sure that she wrote you all of the ways in which she hated you, but she conveniently left out this little bundle of joy…" He placed a hand on a boy's back. He didn't look too much older than Cowboy. "What was your mom's name?" Preston asked the boy.

"Electra, Sir!" the small voice called out. Stevie winced. That was his girlfriend whenever he went into the institution. He had no idea that she was pregnant. As far as he knew, she'd left town. She blocked him on everything that she had an account on, so he never got around to getting in touch with her and hadn't really tried because she was clear that she hated him and wanted nothing more to do with him after he killed Hank.

Preston patted the boy on the head and told Stevie, "You may be wondering, why would someone go this far for vengeance?"

"We fucked your family up and took you down. I get it," Stevie said.

"No, I don't think that you _do_ get it, but you will. Every time you and your brother go on some type of crusade, I lose a member of my family. Maybe, if I'm surrounded bu _your_ family instead, one or more of you will exercise some restraint…" He leaned in to Stevie and whispered in his ear, "And if they perish, they perish."

.

Jane was on the phone with Aphasia, laughing and chatting whenever she got confused about some things coming into her email from Ghostskins Inc. "Hey, is Stevie sending me things, right now?" She wondered.

"Not to my knowledge, but maybe he had a few things before we go?"

"How far are you from his headquarters?"

"We texted him that we stopped for food and to see if he wanted anything. He hasn't replied to us yet, but it'll maybe be another 20 minutes before we pull in over there."

"Okay, well… Let me call him real quick to see what in the world all of this is. Girl, I'm shook. He can't possibly mean to send me this…"

"I guess you'll tell me in a little while, because I'm intrigued, now."

"Bye, I said!" Jane told her and disconnected, laughing. She called Stevie.

Preston looked at the phone. _JaneyPie._ "You need to get rid of her, but keep it together. I would hate for my soldier at her location to have to detonate because it seems like she'll interfere with our date. He answered the phone and put it up to Stevie's ear.

Reception was terrible down here, but he could make out what she was saying, "Getting files... Sensitive material about you... Are you sending… What I'm supposed to…"

"Hey, Janey - you're breaking up. Maybe I can call you back in a little while?"

"Okay. But… I mean… Is everything alright? Is this a purge and you just want me to encrypt and save or is this something that we need to research and look through, or what? Just, gimme at least a direction."

"Well, I'm actually downstairs right now, but just take whatever you've got there and use your best judgement. I trust you."

She sighed and stretched, "Okay, Will do. Phai and Matt are on their way in a few, so wrap it up, whatever you're doing."

"Absolutely. Give Mace-Mace and Majey kisses for me."

She sat up straight and looked confused, then said, calmly, "Of course. Of course. See you soon."

"Take care."

Preston hung up the phone and commented, "She's good at what she does. She's certainly not as good as the one before her, but she'll definitely find all the little easter eggs in not only what's being sent to you but anything else that we put in special places for her to find. That was how she found out about Washington, where you thought that I would be. I was pleasantly surprised and a little bit worried whenever she did find it. I wanted her to, but I was slightly hoping that she wasn't that good yet. With time she could be the next… whatever the other one was that I had killed… Cohen, whatever." Stevie gasped and his eyes went wide. "Now, I sure doubt that you believed that somebody like her, with what she stood for, worked for and could do wasn't just a victim of circumstance?" Preston laughed. "Son, the Foundation has some of the biggest stock in the police force that there is! That organization was founded on Foundation ideals. There was no way that I could allow Cohen to roam the Internet freely when I was set to finally exact my revenge on you and your motley band of degenerates. I bought her life for a meagher promotion, some PTO, and a transfer to a better precinct…" Stevie howled and tried to break from his restraints, no longer able to center himself anymore. Preston laughed, "Yes! Yes! THAT is the Stevie Evans that I have been eager to meet!"

Stevie growled, "I'll kill you! I will fucking kill you!"

"I'd better make it a little bit harder for you then. Training exercise, Top 3. Select your precision tool." He said, pushing a stand with surgical knives on it in their direction. "Electra's boy, here."He handed him Stevie's phone and put him up on a stool. "You'll record their progress…"

.

Jane called Aphasia right back and called Cheri on conference.

 _Aphasia: Okay, Girl - what did he send?_

 _Cheri: Jane? Who is that? What is this?_

 _Aphasia: Is that Stevie's wife? What is happening?_

 _Jane: Both of you, please! I just talked to Stevie, to ask him about all of these weird files that I was being sent and he told me to give Mace-Mace and Majey kisses for him…_

 _Cheri: *Gasps*_

 _Aphasia: Okay, that is code, I guess… But, to be honest, I have forgotten most of the codes, as we haven't talked about them in a while…_

 _Cheri: Messing up you kids' nicknames means that an enemy is with him, give kisses means that he can't get away - so either tied up or held hostage with a weapon. Either way…_

 _Aphasia: We're gonna head to Happy Place, right now._

 _Cheri: What if it's an ambush, though? He wouldn't want you to do that. Jane, what else did he say? How'd he end the call?_

 _Jane: Take care._

 _Cheri: *Sobs* He doesn't plan on making it out alive and wants me to execute some plans. Thank you. *Hangs up*_

 _Aphasia: We're heading there._

 _Jane: PLEASE, keep me posted, if possible..._

.

Stevie was in pain, but most of his crying out was for his friends, and how he had lost more of them. Dani, and he knew that the cops hated Andrea and that those particular cops even probably knew her, but an actual purposeful assassination hadn't occurred to him. Well, it had, but he passed it off as his imagination, just as he had about the fear that he probably had several children out there, fatherless or with fathers that didn't fully see them as theirs, or something!

"Commanding Father, is he actually in pain, or is he just making noise for his friends who will arrive soon?" Jamie wondered.

"Both, I'm sure. But, let's not be distracted by it. This is not the only garbage that will scream when you're disposing of it. Never let it take you off task," Preston said.

.

Cheri urgently gathered up the family in the common room. As they waited for everyone to get there, she asked Cowboy, "Did you and Daddy fully cover engaging Exodus 2.0?" He frowned, but nodded his head. "And you know that this time around, it may be much longer before you're retrieved?"

"Daddy said that he wished that he had left us there until everything blew over. That there was enough for us to survive long enough and next time, don't leave until all supplies are gone, because that means that he's dead and nobody is coming," Cowboy sadly reported as the last of them rushed in.

"What's happening?" Mama T wondered.

Cheri said sadly, "I hate to have to do this to you, but Lamentations is rolling and we need to engage Exodus 2.0 and operation Revelations." Mama T covered her face as Sam and Stacie looked confused.

"Are you positive?" Jake asked.

"He told Jane give Mace-Mace and Majey kisses for him and ended the call with take care."

Now, Stacie understood, "Stevie's paranoid code words! I don't remember most of them. After a while, when nobody ever came for us, I sort of let the information slip away…"

Cheri assured her, "Me, Mama T, Jake and Cowboy should have all the details needed in order for this to move forward."

Sam wondered, "What has happened and what do I need to do?"

"What has happened is somebody has him and he can't get away and doesn't expect to live," Cheri said, with teary eyes and a matching voice. "What we need to do is get the kids to safety with Mercedes, and if we can attack them back, attack, and if not, at least make sure that we destroy everything in the Ghostskins Headquarters and all of his computers and such… I'll take care of that part…" She wondered if Dani was safe or not. They were old friends. They didn't talk much anymore, but she and Stevie were still good and she worked at the headquarters… But, if somebody had Stevie, they definitely had Dani, unless she wasn't anywhere near the building.

Sam asked, "How do we attack the place?"

Jake commented, " _You_ don't. You can stay in the bunker, with the kids, because you're disabled, now. And we don't have time to argue the shit if Stevie's been taken. Because we gotta fucking get him."

Cheri reported, "He's supposedly at Happy Place, but I don't know if they've taken him elsewhere…"

"What is Happy Place?" Sam asked.

"The ranch," Cheri said, then continued, "Mercy, the bunker is beneath me and Stevie's quarters and set up like your old bedroom and maternity cave, side by side. Stevie stocked it with supplies when we moved in here. Cowboy knows all the guidelines and is…" she turned to him and said, "Round up all the kids and do your thing, Big Boy."

"Yes, Ma'am!" Cowboy said and rushed to find his cousins, sprawled all over the house.

Cheri finished, "I can get on the phone with you while we head off, but me and Jake have got to go, and the rest of you can figure out whether you wanna run or bunk up in the room that we've prepped for this."

Mama T said, "So, we're on Exodus and you and Jake are on Revelations, because Stevie is in Lamentations. You two have to get on, then." She hugged them both and turned to the room, "Okay, so does anybody have any ideas?"

Sam commented, "I have an idea. Instead of Cheri and Jake rushing to the danger, I go instead. Meanwhile, the rest of y'all rush to the airport with everything you can. Go fly somewhere, anywhere, as long as y'all are together. Whatever they do to me and Stevie, the ones that they actually want, it should give y'all time to get outta dodge."

Mama T nodded, "Okay, I say we'll go on and put a pin in that to see if we can circle around to it later; but in the meantime, anybody got any _good_ ideas?"Cowboy came back with the children and he, Mama T, and Stacie helped to gather them up and escort them and Mercedes to the safe room while Sam rushed after Jake and Cheri. She didn't bother stopping him. They would waste time if they argued too much and this was a life or death situation…

Jake shook his head and tried to keep Sam from getting into the pink range rover, "Absolutely not. I'm not losing ALL of my fucking brothers today!" Jake fussed.

"Neither am I!" Sam roared back and flung open a backdoor.

Cheri reminded them, "We don't have time for this!" She was getting on the bluetooth to try to see if Stevie still had access to his phone. To try to see if she could get anything else out of him or something! Nobody answered, though. She was breathing hard and said, "Okay, okay, lemme call Jane back and see if she can break down the whole conversation for me. Maybe there was something else in what he said to give me something…"

Sam listened to his heart beating in his ears as they drove the distance to the building. It wasn't as far away from Dwight's home as it was from his own, or from Stevie's, so thank God - they didn't have far to drive, but they were all so emotional and didn't even know what in the Lord's name that they were driving into…

.

Matt and his guards pulled up in their black vehicles and noticed that Stevie's vehicle wasn't there. Maybe it had been moved by whoever had him? Aphasia flipped through her keys to find her copy and they let themselves inside. The alarm wasn't set. She rushed into Stevie's office with Matt behind her and the rest of the guys keeping watch. Whenever she went into the closet and moved the rug, opened the door and pointed her gun inside, nothing happened.

She carefully went down and was followed by Matt and a couple of guards, all with guns drawn as they went into the musty and dimly lit dungeon. She walked by a wall that she'd only seen clean before, but now it was covered in smiley faces… that she was almost certain were finger drawn in blood. That sent a shiver up her spine. Even knowing the _type_ of people that Stevie brought here, knowing that he did… something… like that was troubling… She gasped when they got to a certain cell. Stevie's guards and his assistant were all dead in it. One of Matt's guards vomited, on the spot. Matt said, "Go back up, I think that they've took him and left." Whenever the guards went up, Aphasia ws still searching around. "How many people do you think he's brought here? How many do you think that we helped him to find?"

She just shook her head, "If I had to guess, I'd say as many as there are smiley faces on that wall."

"Good fucking God. That's… a lot." He stared at the wall and then pointed at the bottom, "What do you think of that last one down there?" They went over to it and it was much lower than the others and bigger. "Looks like the blood is fresh."

"And it looks like a child did it…" Now, she had to throw up and she bent over and did. "We gotta… get out of here."

"We need to grab his friend, at least. We can't leave her in this dungeon."

"We can't take her with us! We'll get her DNA everywhere. We need to get out of here before OUR DNA is left behind."

"There can be DNA in vomit, if your saliva is in there…" he said.

"Let's go!" She fussed and came back up the stairs, calling Jane as she did. Jane didn't answer, though. "Ugh!"

Matt said, "Look… So… I don't know what their plan is, but it looks like they've taken Stevie and left. Maybe they intend to return, maybe not. Regardless - we have to get out of here, if we're gonna feign that we had no idea what was in that basement, after Stevie… is found," he looked at the ground for a moment, then pulled himself together, "We can't be attached to this. It is entirely too much." They began to go outside and whenever Matt was about to set the alarm, Aphasia shook her head, 'no.' Now, Aphasia tried to call Cheri back.

"Hello?"

"Cheri, Matt and I checked Happy Place for Stevie. He's not here. We think that they took him somewhere else. But, Cheri… his guards and the assistant are here…" She sighed. "They're downstairs and they've all been shot…"

"Thank you. I will take care of everything," she said.

"Should Matt and I hang back to help with anything? Support? Finding Stevie?"

"No, actually. I have Happy Place under control. If Matt could try to see if he could find anything out, because Jane… Jane…" she sniffled, "Jane's not available anymore…"

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I was talking to her on the phone, then I heard the loudest boom sound that I have ever heard in my life and now, she's not answering.

"Oh my God. We're gonna head her way, then…" Aphasia hung up and told Matt, "Something may have happened to Jane." They rushed to the vehicles and passed by Cheri's as she was coming into the place.

Jake and she rushed out of the vehicle, but it took Sam a little bit longer. Whenever they got inside, Jake went to the computer on Stevie's desk and used a key on his ring to unlock a drawer beneath it for his instructions. He started to get rid of the stuff there, while Cheri opened the back of her rover and grabbed a tarp. Sam wondered what that was for, but followed her, silently. She told him, "Watch your step and… I don't know… Prepare to be grossed out, I guess…" He came down the narrow stairs and followed her past these cells, and the horror in his chest and gut were indescribable. Had… _Stevie_ done all of this? Was that blood? Cheri stopped at a cell and she went to open it, but it was locked. She sighed and lowered her head, "I don't have a key to the cells, because one of ours is not supposed to be inside of them." She started crying, "How do I just burn the body of a friend? Just… leave her here, with no burial and let her ashes meld with the ashes of racial terrorists and _monsters?"_

Sam looked around for something and then started to beat the lock with it until he broke it loose. Cheri gratefully rushed in, with the tarp and set it down She turned Dani around and gasped at the look on her face - the horror and pain. She tried to close her eyes, then simply rolled her onto her back and pulled her on the tarp, to wrap her up. "Do you need help?" Sam wondered.

"If you're asking me if this is something that I do, the answer is 'no.' I've never had to do anything here before and Stevie never brought me down here. I just… knew what to expect, sort of. I've never seen a…" she sniffled and Sam went to try to help her wrap Dani up to get her out of there. "Stevie isn't perfect. I know, that's an understatement, considering what we're looking at… but, just know… he'd never do something like this. This wasn't him."

"I know. But… what do you plan on doing with her? We can't just take her out of here."

"Why not? I'll say that someone left her in my trunk as a message, much like the very popular scene from the R Word movie when Tina finds her dead sister in her car. We've been terrorized and the things are often horrible. They can't prove someone DIDN'T put her in my trunk!"

"They can if they're watching right now and if they record YOU putting her in there."

"I'm not leaving her."

"Should we get these guards then?"

"I'm sorry for their families, but if I overdo it, I certainly wouldn't be believed…" It took her and Sam a while to get the body up the stairs and when they did, Jake met them to put her in the trunk. Cheri began pouring gasoline downstairs and then throughout the headquarters until she had it all doused and set the whole thing on fire, then jumped into her vehicle that Jake was already pulling away from whenever it began to go up. She checked her phone and saw messages.

Aphasia: We've come to Jane's, and an explosion went off. Mason and the twins weren't inside, but now the rescue team is trying to find her.

Cheri: We've just left the ranch. No idea where Stevie is, but hoping that they reach out to us soon. Mama T, Stacie, Mercy and the kids are all safe. Has Mason been warned?

Aphasia: Mason is here. He's not okay. The house looks pretty… bad…

Cheri: I feel numb. I don't know if I have more emotions to express.

Aphasia: Can you bring Jake to Mason?

"Jake… do you want to go check on Mason? Jane's possibly been caught in the explosion we heard earlier. There's a squad trying to rescue her and Mason is outside."

Jake nodded, "On the way there."

Now, Cheri called Mama T., "They moved him. Anybody contact you?"

"No. And Matt's website has gone silent, too."

"I think because Jane was on it and now, they've bombed her house…" Cheri said, voice even.

"Does… she still work out of her basement?" Mama T wondered.

"Yes. So… she's very likely buried under an entire house's portion of rubble."

"And we simply stay here, right?"

"That was the initial plan. To brainstorm next steps and wait for a potential attack to pass over."

Jake asked from the driver's seat, "Have they gotten in contact with Bree and Joe?"

Mama T answered, "In order not to compromise the panic room, Bree and Joe aren't coming back to the house while we're on this alert. They're meeting each other at the church. Joe's coming from the community center and Bree's coming from POM."

They're currently safe," Cheri told Jake. To Mama T, she said, "We'll call back again soon. Make sure all your ringers are off,just in case someone is near the door."

Sam wondered, "How are we going to find Stevie?"

Cheri shook her head, "Either, they'll tell us, or we'll have to wait until he's been found. I'm more confused and concerned about what we'll do when we see whoever took him -"

"Kill them," Sam and Jake said, simultaneously.

"That's what concerns me," she said.

Jake told her, "Cheri, look, I know that you're all for the peace and pacifism and all of that, but these people will never leave us alone, not until they're dead. We had our hunches about what Stevie was doing at Happy Place and we didn't interfere, because we knew, deep down inside that he was doing the world some good. We can't let the people that took Papa Dwight out of this world stay in it. It is them or us."

"No, I only meant… Stevie is the one that knows how to fix these things. Nobody here is a murderer. We have no idea how to do it, or how to get away with it."

"One of us does," Jake reminded her and glanced in the rearview mirror at Sam, who simply nodded.

"I'll do whatever I need to, to keep our family safe," Sam said.

.

Whenever they got to Mason and Jane's house, Aphasia had Major I and Mason II cuddled up at her sides and Matt was trying to comfort Mason. Jake suggested to Sam, "Maybe, stay here for a moment?" He and Cheri got out of the rover and rushed over to where they saw their friends. Jake approached Mason and Mason quickly turned to him and hurried into his hug, crying. "Did they find her, yet?" Jake wondered.

"I heard them on the walkie say that they found a 'body' buried beneath the wreckage. A body, Jake! They didn't say a survivor, or even a woman, but a body. Something that's not living, not a person."

"That doesn't mean anything, Mase. If they haven't dug her out, there's no reason to jump to conclusions, okay? She might be fine…" Jake squeezed him and tried to rub his back. "I have to believe that she's fine."

"She's pregnant and she's been sick!" Mason said. "She told me that she was going to lay down, but then she got some emails and she started looking into things. I only took the kids right around the corner to go see about getting pumpkins! They could have been inside when this happened if I hadn't been so frustrated with her for doing work when she said she would lay down! And I was mean about it, Jake. The last thing I said to her was so mean…" He wailed.

"I'm sure that she didn't take it that way. Even when you think you're mean, trust me, the rest of us kinda laugh it off. She knew that you were just concerned about her and the baby and that is what is going to help her survive this, okay?"

Sam was looking at them from the backseat of Cheri's rover when he got a phone call from Stevie's number. He took a deep breath and answered it, but didn't say anything. Instead, he waited.

"Sam Evans?" a child's voice said.

"Yes?" Sam thought for a moment that maybe someone found Stevie's phone and was trying to return it or something.

"The turncoat Steven Evans is waiting for your arrival at the house that you met Will Schuester. If you try to tell anyone, another bomb will be detonated, but I can't tell you where that one is."

"Okay. But, I don't have the keys to this vehicle. I'll have to try to get them from my brother and he'll wonder why," Sam said, getting out of the backseat, but Jake had actually left the keys in there, in case Sam needed to adjust the AC or something… "Nevermind. He left the keys. Confirm… I met Will Schuester at Preston Schuester's old estate…"

"If you take longer than the 45 minutes it takes to get here, Steven Evans will be beheaded and definistrated, and all that you will find here is his severed head."

"Dear God, how young are you?" Sam wondered. The child hung up on him and he buckled his seat belt and drove away.

Cheri ran towards her rover and waved her hands, but Sam swerved to miss her and kept driving, accelerating. She pulled out her phone and began to call him, but he didn't answer, so she called Mama T. "Hey! Sam just took my goddamn rover and like burnt rubber pulling off!"

"They must have contacted him," Mama T said.

"Yeah, but… He… Can't just GO to them! We needed a plan or something, and Dani's body is in the trunk and…" She yelped as they carried out a woman's body from the rubbish, on a stretcher and covered up. "Oh my God… Is that…?" Mason tried to run over, but Jake tried to hold him back. It didn't work. Aphasia covered the twins' eyes as best as she could with each of her hands, but they could still see a little and hear everything.

Mason told the authorities, "I live here! This is my house! That… I have to identify if…" They let him through and he pulled the cover off and collapsed onto the ground in a ball that Jake quickly tried to console.

"I think that they found Jane," she said and went over, still holding the phone, tightly. Whenever she reached them, the body was being covered back up, but it wasn't Jane. It was De'Wanda.

"Where is Jane? Where is she?" Mason wondered, crying out to whoever was listening and could possibly answer.

"It wasn't Jane. It was De'Wanda Umber," Cheri said… "They… aren't attacking the family this time. I mean, they _are,_ but…"

"They're attacking the family he created, not the one that he was born into," Mama T replied.

"I have to get them to activate the tracker on my rover, if they haven't had him switch it out or something."

"Don't let me get in the way of anything," Mama T said and hung up the phone.

Cheri went to Matt and said, "These hits have been on the family that Stevie chose. The Evans house seems unscathed, but Dani, Jane, and now De'Wanda… These are the people that Stevie built his ideal family of. That means you two, too…"

Matt quickly pulled out his phone to call and check on Mattie, at the Cohens' home. So far, so good. He hung up, relieved but still pretty tense. "Where did Sam go?" he finally wondered.

"I think that he went to meet them. I have my vehicle being tracked…" before she could finish, Matt began jogging towards his own SUV and she followed him. "If you're going, I'm going. I might stay on the sidelines when Stevie's out there with you putting himself on the line, but HE's the victim in need of a savior today, and that shit has _always_ been my calling." She jumped into the passenger's seat and Matt peeled off before she could barely get her seatbelt on.

Jake brought Mason over to his kids and they all hugged, all crying, as the search for Jane in the pile continued. He and Aphasia gave them some space to try to come to grips with whatever the outcome of this search would be. Aphasia told Jake, "So, basically - I'm sure that Sam was called out, he took off, Cheri told Matt and he gave chase."

"Sounds like all of them, to me," Jake said. "Damn it."

"Should we follow, too?" she wondered. Mason stood up, grabbed his keys out of his pocket and handed them to her, without saying a word. She gave him a hug and said, "Whoever we find, I'm putting one in they ass for Jane, you got me?"

He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, "She'll still be gone."

.

Sam was driving when something occurred to him… They said 45 minutes. Preston Schuester's old estate was only about 25 minutes away from Jane's house. Wait… Where did he meet Will Schuester? He thought at a Schuester party. He'd remembered that day so vividly, it was hard to believe that any details were left out… But, WAIT! He met Will, in passing, at an event hosted by Matt's mother… He met Will at Matt's parents' old house, technically…

Cheri frowned and wondered, "Wait, why did he turn around and go the other way?"

"Maybe he remembered something, or they called and changed the location of the place," Matt said, "But, I can catch up with him easier, now…" He swerved too, "I oughtta be able to cut through and take a shortcut to meet up behind him…. Shit!"

"What?"

"That's my wife behind us, in Mason's van…" Matt shook his head and said, "If they want to get Stevie's closest, we're all driving right to them…"

"Well… I mean… If he's in Lamentations mode, he needs as many people coming to fight for him as we can give."

"I know. But, I'm selfish, and I don't want my wife being one of them." He twitched. "But, she's driving. She made a decision…"

"Hey… What if we win, though?" Cheri offered. Matt nodded his head and sped up, with Aphasia nearly right behind him. They were both still several minutes behind Sam, and he was hauling ass. Eventually he stopped and Matt almost steered off of the road. "Jesus!" Cheri cried out and put her hand over her chest.

"Sorry… That's… I used to live there… That's…"

"Where they killed your family…" She finished for him, recognizing the familiar street name from the news. Matt tried to focus, but he was already thrown off of his game. He hadn't been there in years and was unsure of how he would handle being there, but Stevie was in trouble. He tried to pull himself together, but was already triggered. He just had to make it there. Because… _What if we win?_

 _._

Sam walked into the house, because the door was open and he jumped at the sight of things. Jane and Bree were there, and they were gagged and tied up, much like Matt's older sister and mother had been. The rest of the room was so much like the scene that he _knew_ Preston had seen the tape. He gagged and tried to catch his breath when he saw Stevie and… somebody who looked a HELL of a lot like Dwight tied up like Matt's brother and father. Sam nearly broke down seeing this. Was… there also a CHILD here? A little girl…? He saw what appeared to be a blond boy, but with long hair and he went over to check on him.

"The infamous forensic print! I can't believe that you've done it, _again!_ " Preston cheered. Sam jumped and quickly turned to face him. The man smirked and asked, "Did I properly capture the aesthetics?"


	37. The Reimagining

_TW: Children and animals were harmed in the making of this chapter. Also, I have been SUPER SICK for the past few days, so if any of this reads like a NyQuil/Benadryl induced nonsense-fest, sorry._

 **The Reimagining**

Sam looked at Preston and rushed towards him to attack, but a shot was fired into the ceiling and he paused. The child holding the gun barely seemed phased. Sam raised his hands into the air and offered the child a smile, "Listen, Kid… I don't want to hurt you, but you're with a very bad man, and he's gotta get hurt. If that means that me and you gotta tussle, I'll hate it. But, I ain't above it."

The boy raised an eyebrow and it was the only sign of emotion that Sam read from him, " _Uncle Sammy,_ you couldn't take me on, if you tried. Not in your current condition. You became winded coming up the stairs to the front door. Let's not make this harder on you. You're going to die, and so will all of them. Accept this and play along."

"Uncle Sammy is what my niblings and friblings call me," Sam said.

"There's a whole lot of backstory involved that I don't feel it necessary to share with _you_ for the purposes of this reimagining," Preston said. "So, just have a seat, and if my soldier on site at the McCarthy house is any indication, we will be joined shortly by the rest of the new family. I have a vision, you see…" Preston sat across from Sam and Jamie kept the gun on their hostage. "I want to revisit what happened in this house, this time, the way that it was meant to be, bigger even. A family was meant to be destroyed, so that mine could go on. It's too late now for the Schuester legacy to continue, but I can at least make this right. You shouldn't be here, just like you shouldn't have been, all those years ago, but unlike then - you have a story, to be completed, as well. After I reimagine the Rutherford takedown, using your brother's loved ones, then the kids and I will take you and clean up all the mess my perfectly imperfect little Emma made."

"What does that mean?" Sam asked.

Preston sighed and chuckled. "You know what it means. You were suspicious of Emma the moment that you learned that she had history with William, and even though she did her damnedest to try to help fix those that she felt the Foundation had wronged, she ended up as damaged goods. Ultimately, Max had to end her suffering."

"He shot her on purpose," Sam said.

"It got a little more difficult for him to hit his targets once everyone started running. That mother of his was so hurt, so angry at me that she gave away my last relative. Max had been raising his sister dutifully when he died. Now, she's in the hands of that treacherous Fabray girl. Yes, the Schuester legacy ended with Max, and for my last bit of work, I have to make sure that those responsible for it die before I do."

"Stevie and me," Sam said.

"The world may think that you were some type of lone hero, but we all know that isn't true. You were merely the face of the conspiracy. Rutherford was the brains. Chang was the muscle, and most of your friends were part of it. While I was away, nestled in prison, you grew in numbers. You…" He looked at an unconscious Stevie, "Made a monster out of one of our own projects. Reprogrammed him to attack those who called him brother and to embrace those that he should have been killing. In this reimagining, we will have put to rest the monster you created and everyone that he values. You're not in that number, from what we've observed. But, fear not - you and yours will have a turn, too." Preston got up from his seat and jerked his head towards Sam, so that some members of Unlucky 13 Platoon could restrain him to the chair. He struggled with them, but was overpowered. Maybe that kid had a point about his condition.

Matt and Cheri came inside, hand in hand, but she immediately let go and rushed over to Stevie to check on him, "Stevie!"

While she was trying to wake her husband, Preston turned to Matt, who honestly looked like he might fall into dust particle sized pieces at any moment. "Well if it isn't Matthew. it's nice to finally meet you young man. I've heard so many great things and I for one am I'm excited to see what lies ahead. And of course Will must be equally curious. We take a special interest in boys your age. It's a good time to begin watching, and assessing, to keep up with exactly what type of direction you'll take for your future, so that we can know what if anything that we can do to help change it." Matt clenched his head. That was what Preston said to him whenever he first met him, at his 12th birthday party.

Stevie woke up and saw Cheri's worried face. "The fuck… are you _here?"_

"Matt and I came to save the day," she said, then looked at the man tied to him, "Who is this? Is this…?" She checked the man's face and was highly confused. "This… is this Papa Dwight, or some kind of trick? Who is this?" she asked, freaking out. One of the children hit her in the knee with a pipe and she fell to the ground, Matt flinched at it. That was what he knew happened to his mother, shortly before…

"No!" Stevie huffed. "Please, no, Jamie… Please…"

"I'm not Jamie. I'm Chuck," the kid said and hit her with the pipe again, in the other leg. She screamed and clung to Stevie's ankle.

"It's not her fault, the things I've done. She doesn't even agree with me!" Stevie said.

Chuck rolled his eyes and walked away. "Stay down," he told her.

"Matthew, I have a seat saved for you. You _were_ supposed to be here that night. You were supposed to die with your original family, but now you get to die with this makeshift one. I'm thinking in this revision, you can be tied up with your wife. I know that she'll soon be here…"

"She already is," Aphasia said and shot him in the groin. Automatically, she had 16 guns pointed at her. She rocked on the balls of her feet and rotated with the gun on them. "Ooh, shit. What in the Village of the Damned is happening in here? There is a high number of kids working today. Where are y'all's parents? Children of the Corn faceass..."

Stevie offered, "You know all the jokes made about me having hyperspermia? This is actually the documentary."

She sighed and bit her lip. "I didn't wake up planning on killing your offspring, but they appear to be on the list of folk I gotta shoot for us to get out of here."

Preston got up, limping and commented, "In the groin. Much like the stabbing of Rick Nelson. See, this adaption won't be a complete disappointment."

"This man is crazy," Sam said.

"No kidding," Aphasia said, trying to figure out what she could do.

Jamie informed her, "It would be ludicrous for you to fire that weapon again. The body at the ranch - Three shooters did that. Your numbers are much worse."

"Yeah, but the chance of me just giving up when I might be able to take a couple of you down with me and make it a little bit easier for my husband to get out of here…" Aphasia said, still assessing the room. There was no way that this could possibly turn out well for her. If they got her weapon out of her hands, everyone here was dead. If she had to waste two or three of these children before she fell, that was at least helping the numbers out. There was not really any possible way that she was getting out of here alive, so…

"Where is the Negro Evans?" Preston wondered, not making a huge issue of Aphasia's gun. The kid was right. _But, what about that Negro Evans?_

"There are several of those. You have to be more specific," Aphasia told him.

"The one that left the McCarthy house with you. I am going to feel like he's attempting to set something up, if I don't see him soon and that will mean that the second bomb needs to go off," Preston warned.

"Well, damn… I certainly can't warn him of that with all these guns in my face."

Preston made another call, "Hello. Never met you before. This is Preston Schuester. I am inside of the house and you should be, too. We have things to do, and you're the last portion."

Jake was already inside, but he was trying to sneak in, from another entrance, to get the drop on them. "I tell you what… You weren't _actively_ involved in this war, so if you come now, I will allow you to take your mother's husband and go."

Jake froze, "You dug up a man's body for this thing?" he asked horrified.

"More like… We made a sacrifice of someone else's body to appear to be his, covered up all of the information and kept him alive long enough to involve him in today's reimagining."

"There's no possible way. We ordered an autopsy and the body was identified. We had an open casket funeral. I was born in the daytime, but not yesterday," Jake said, teary eyed.

"The body was identified by his mother, who doesn't have the best relationship with him, and if we're being honest, wasn't very broken up about destroying the rest of this family, as long as he was given the chance to live, in order to change. Now, I will admit, some of the fellows there that night cut it a bit close with the defense. He literally had to be revived whenever my men finally got to him, but the spare that we left in his place… He looked enough like him for everyone to decide that after a few days of death, the differences were simply because of the life having left the body. So, what will it be? The people that were responsible for you losing your brother before you really got a chance to know him, or the father that you didn't get a chance to know, but might have a chance. I've watched your mother very carefully. She could use this gift."

"She could. But, she's been learning to live without him all of this time, and she'd never sacrifice the rest of our family for just one of us. Not even him…" He began to shoot into the room from behind the staircase in the foyer. That gave Aphasia her moment to disarm four of the children.

Some of the others scattered, running out of the house completely. One of them ran outside and accidentally stepped on a landmine on his way out and it exploded. That caused a few of the children to drop their weapons and the ones who hadn't made it passed the booby traps were mostly now terrified of whatever they had gotten themselves into. The Top 3 were not dissuaded, nor were they disarmed. They _did_ try to get Preston out of there, though. "The police will be coming, Commanding Father. One of our soldiers set off a landmine."

"I've spent too much money, time and energy on this project!" Preston insisted and grabbed the gun from Jamie. Aphasia had cut loose everybody who was conscious - Sam, first, then Stevie, even though the man tied next to him wasn't conscious, and she began to untie a crying when Bree when Preston pointed the gun right at her head, about to pull the trigger.

Matt tackled him to the ground and began to punch him repeatedly, "My mother was a goddess! My brother was a genius! My sister was a saint!" Jackpot pointed a gun at Matt, but Sam jerked the thing from his hands and sat on him. He couldn't do much fighting, but he definitely had enough weight to hold the kid down. Chuck tried to shoot Matt, too, but Stevie stopped him by grabbing him into an arm lock, which made him drop his gun. Stevie was wounded, had lost a lot of blood and honestly didn't feel all there, but he also couldn't let these kids kill or be killed, as long as he had the power to stop it. Aphasia and Jamie wrestled for the control of his gun and she kicked around, "Goddamn! This lil' boy strong as fuck!" She said.

"Superior genes," he told her and head butt her. "Biological father's signature move," he said, getting the gun away from her. He turned on Matt and Matt paused. "It's clear that we've been bested," Jamie said. "But, the one thing that we can make sure is done right today is that you die, as you should have, with the rest of your family…" Whenever he began to fire, Matt ducked down and Aphasia reached her gun to disarm Jamie. Bullets were flying everywhere and Cheri was untying the rest of their friends and jumping at the sounds of firing.

Jamie looked down at his bloody shoulder as he dropped his weapon, and picked up his phone. "Set off all remaining bombs. Commanding Father has fallen. Unlucky 13 Platoon has been captured." She snatched it from him and punched him in the face to knock him down.

"All remaining bombs?" Cheri repeated, helping Bree carry a still unconscious Jane out of the house, where a dozen blond children were crying, afraid to move forward. Sam grabbed Jamie and still held Jackpot in a headlock, Stevie threw Chuck over his shoulder and Jake had what honestly and truly appeared to be Dwight hoisted on his shoulder.

One of the children said, "He exploded into pieces! If we try to run, we could explode into pieces, too!"

Aphasia said, "We should be able to see them, to avoid them, if we aren't going too fast. I'll go first, okay?" She said to the terrified child, who simply nodded his head. Matt took her hand and they tried to casually move through the yard, the children began to follow them, then Cheri and Bree, with Jane, and the others. The police were heading there and Sam could only imagine what the hell they would think upon arrival. But his thought was interrupted when the old Rutherford house exploded.

.

The Evanses jumped when they heard a nearby explosion. "Dear God, did they blow up the big house?" Stacie wondered.

Mercedes said, "I can't tell, but wouldn't we have been more shaken if they did? I don't know how bombs work or how powerful what they had was…" She shivered. "They threatened us with a bomb before. We sought shelter and nothing exploded. I guess this time, they figured that they aren't letting us off that easily."

"They've shot at us, started fires, and now bombed us," Stacie said. "Are we okay down here? If there's a bomb?"

Mama T shrugged her shoulders, then jumped up, "The dogs!" They had left the dogs in the yard, and Mama T had promised that she would make sure that she went out to feed them and such, and if anybody was watching the house, she would be the only one in danger. It just didn't seem feasible to be locked up for days and days with so many dogs - their waste alone would make the bunker unbearable. But, now, they were… out there. "I have to go check on them!"

"You can't!" Stacie said. "You just can't! Hopefully, they heard the noise, got freaked out and ran away. But, you can't leave here, not when we just heard a loud booming!" She tried to make a phone call. The reception wasn't great, but it was voicemail, anyway. She sighed, "Joe's not answering. I hope he's alright. I feel like… I don't know… Like something absolutely terrible has happened."

.

Joe left the community center and agreed to meet up with Bree at the church. She and him were going to get a double room and try to see if they could wait out the day's events there. But, when she never showed up, he tried to call her several times before leaving the church to go to see if he could retrace the path from Pieces of Mercy to Life Church. He couldn't figure out where she had gone. She would have most likely ordered a Lyft driver. She lived in NYC, didn't really drive whenever she was out here and wasn't as familiar with buses as she was with the subways of New York. While he was investigating this, his father called him. He had heard news about Mason and Jane's home catching fire or something.

So, while he hadn't heard from Bree, he knew that there were some people at the church and if she made her way there, she'd be fine. He went to check on the McCarthy family. Mason and the children were all outside, on the curb and Joe joined them, asking what he could do. Whenever he was told that the others had been here, but they left, he thought about trying to figure out where they went. Honestly, he felt pulled in so many different directions and wasn't sure which way to go. So, he just remained where he was for a while. He offered for Mason and the children to come with him. He would put them up in the hotel that he and Bree were going to, and if the authorities found out anything, they would definitely contact him. "The children really don't need to be here, in the event that Jane's body is found…"

So, the remaining McCarthys allowed Joe to bring them with him, pay for a suite for them, and let them settle. He wanted to go look for Bree again, and also felt like he needed to check in on the family. He couldn't get through to Stacie. He credited it to them being beneath the house, but there were connections under there, so he wasn't sure how that worked. Instead, he called around, asking if anybody had seen Bree. Santana had seen her get into a car. "She said that her Lyft was here, so I figured she was going right to you. Maybe she got confused and thought that you meant your family's church instead of Sam's?" That was highly unlikely. Bree hadn't ever even been to his family's church, but he figured that it was worth a shot. He called his father back to ask, but today, nobody was at the church. Joe drove by the church anyway and circled it. No Bree… He was starting to worry that maybe someone had gotten to her. He was barely down the street when he heard a loud noise, nearly crashed and looked into his rear view mirror to see his family's church collapsing and burning…

"Oh my God!" He pulled the car over and called 911. "Hi. My family's church just… exploded, right before my eyes!" He reported.

"Sir, could you please give me the address to the location, so that I can verify that it isn't one of the other explosions that we've already received word about and are sending help to?"

"There were other explosions?" He worried. "Could you tell me if another home was one of the locations? I think that they might be connected, and I'm concerned for my family…" He gave her the church's address and she confirmed that an explosion was reported at the address that he told her.

"The caller said that it wasn't the actual house, though. It was a little house in the backyard."

"The DOG house?" Joe said.

"Oh, that's terrible. They said that there are a few houses on the property, including the big house. They told us it wasn't the big house or the medium one, but the small one, in the backyard."

"Oh… Thank you…" He hung up and waited. He couldn't really do anything. He was pulled in so many different directions right now, that all that he could manage to do was stand still. After a while, he got into the car and headed home. To hell with the hotel. He was going to go to his family, and make sure that they were still alive. The police and agents would be heading there, so them being "compromised" wasn't his greatest concern. Stacie was.

.

Sam crawled around, banged up pretty badly, looking at one of the worst things he had ever seen. Matt, Aphasia, Cheri, Bree, and Jane appeared to have just missed the danger zone, but they were all horrified at the sight of bodies sprawled out on the yard and a crumbling mansion behind it. He managed to get to Stevie, "Stevie! Stevie!"

Stevie held himself, in pain, but was alive, just breathing hard. "I swear. If one more thing happens to my body, I'm just gonna fucking stop fighting to survive and die…" Agents were pulling in and Sam checked on Jake and Dwight…

He might as well consider this person Dwight, until they found out something different. They were hugged up and had a bit of the rubbish on them. He struggled to get it off and tried to wake them up. "Jake. Daddy!" The man's eyes blinked open and he squinted his eyes, "Sammy?" he croaked. "Is that you?"

"Daddy!" Sam cheered and gave him a hug, much to his agony. "Sorry. Sorry… We thought that you were dead! They made us… mourn you… We…" He cried on him.

"I am in a shitload of pain. What is… Who is…" He leaned his head back a bit. "Is this Jake?" he asked. "What in the world is happening?"

"We made it!" Sam said. "We made it, Daddy!" He tried to wake Jake up. "Jake… Jake, wake up!" Jake wasn't moving. Whenever first responders began to make it there, Sam waved them over, "Please! Please! My brother won't wake up!" He said. If Mama T gained back Dwight and lost Jake, in the process… Sam couldn't even formulate words…

.

Multiple hospitals were crowded with people affected by the terrorist activity that swept through Ohio and made national news. While Preston Schuester was being held responsible, Sam knew that somebody else was out there. He simply didn't know when or if they would be coming for them again. He peeked in on the injured children that he just HAD to determine were actually Stevie's, before they could decide exactly what they wanted to do moving forward. Preston had come with 16 children, 9 were in this hospital, being guarding by the police, and the others were in the morgue.

None of the Evanses in the bunker were injured, but everyone who had been at the old Rutherford place needed medical assistance. Jane, Jake, Stevie and Dwight were admitted, and placed into the same private room. Sam, Aphasia, Bree, Cheri and Matt had some mild injuries, but would be fine.

Stacie had to get back on bedrest, but she and Joe were here, because she couldn't just leave while all of this was happening!

Whenever she and Mama T rushed into the private room, Mama T nearly collapsed when she saw Dwight. "Hey, if it ain't Nish -" She rushed over, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, hard. He blushed and chuckled, staring at her in wonder, "I should get taken hostage more often if that's what I get for it," he joked. She inhaled him and cried. He simply held her and rubbed her back, "Are you alright?" He wondered.

"I am now…" she said. _Now that I have this smell back._ This was Dwight. The body that they claimed and buried… It looked like him,m but it didn't. They figured that they were seeing him through their denial. They assumed that the grief made him look not quite right. They all presumed that there was just no way to tell that a dead person was who they were. It hadn't been the first time that they buried someone who looked so oddly different. But… Dwight looked off too. He seemed a little bit aloof of her, and his stare wasn't intense. She looked at him again and she tilted her head, "What's different about you?" She asked. Had they done something awful to him and caused him to shut down?

"Well, as far as the doctors told me, retrograde amnesia, in addition to getting burned down my side and leg, and a few bullet wounds." He now looked away from her, and stared at his hands.

"Wait… You don't remember me?" She asked, a little disturbed, but this was still better than nothing.

"I remember you, just… not the way that you seem to remember me…" He sadly said.

She nodded. "It doesn't matter. As long as you're… really back?" She cried again and laid on him. Stacie held his hand, hugged and kissed him and showed him her small baby bump.

"I hope to be able to remember whether or not you have kids, or who does and doesn't, or how many…" He sighed. "I'm kinda frustrated. I can't seem to remember anything in between being shot at, at the movies, to waking up with Preston Schuester insisting that his team keep me alive."

"That was nearly five years ago. Shit, so like… ALL of us is gone," Mama T observed, on their relationship. "Our first kiss, first date, first time, our wedding…" covered her mouth and said, "I should… Check on Jake…" She climbed down and went over to Jake's bed.

Stacie climbed onto Dwight's and he wrapped an arm around her. "I can't believe that woman married me. A really bizarre feeling to go from somebody being stuck with you, to them rejoicing to see you because they love you so much. I feel bad that I can't remember any of it."

"It'll come back," Stacie said. She took out her phone and began to show him photos and talk about them.

Sam and Mama T were at Jake's bedside. "He had the chance to take Daddy and go back to you, if we were to believe that Preston was gonna keep his word. He decided to stay and fight." He sniffled. "Bodies were everywhere. Indoctrinated kids. My family. Jake looked like he was trying to cover up Daddy. Like, when the house exploded, he reflexively tried to shield him. Like… He couldn't stand the thought of you losing him again, even if it meant his own life. I made him feel bad about shutting Daddy out. I made him feel like…"

"Please, don't start with that again. The doctor said that Jake should be fine, and if he isn't… Well, this was still Preston Schuester's fault. But, Jake will be fine. Our family will be fine."

"And Stevie?" they both looked at Stevie, fast asleep with Cheri at his side and the children comfortably lounging nearby. "Did you know? What he was doing… at the ranch?" Sam turned back to Mama T.

"I knew."

"And… You didn't care? You weren't going to try to stop him? Try to get him some help?" Sam snapped at her.

"That _was_ his help! He's been on medication and in therapy for years. He was institutionalized, and every other thing available. He's tried philosophy, religion, activism, etc. This… made him feel like he was helping others and himself. It wasn't like he plucked children from their mothers and created an army. No - _those_ were the kinds of people that he was taking to the ranch, and I don't regret keeping his secret!"

"How long was he doing this?"

"Only about half a year into the separation. There was a trigger of some sort and he went after it. He thought it might be a one time thing, but so many of them were out there. Harming people and getting away with it. Slaps on the wrists, if any arrests were ever made. Probation for murder. A mock trial for rape…" She sighed, "He never hurt one _innocent_ person. Why would I try to take that from him? Then what? He goes into an institution and they keep him for the rest of his life? For doing things that most of us _wish_ we had the audacity to do? So, no. I didn't turn on him, and you can't either. Listen… With everything that has happened, everything will look like years worth of Preston Schuester trying to tear our family apart brick by brick."

"But, Stevie needs help!" Sam hissed.

"I agree! He needs help in making sure that this kind of thing doesn't happen to us, or anybody else again. He needs help doing what he was doing! Had we gotten rid of Preston Schuester years ago, instead of going into a safe house and letting Max Giardi team up with him to exact revenge, all of the trauma we've gotten in the past few months never would have happened, maybe even years. My husband would remember how much he loved me! My son would be awake and well!"

"Whenever I killed _one_ person, it affected everything," Sam said.

"Because, you killed him outside, in front of a witness. Stevie didn't do that. He was smart and methodical. Unless Dwight never gets his memory back and decides that he doesn't want me, I am a part of this family."

"You're a part of it from now on, regardless of how Daddy feels."

"Then, I say we do whatever we gotta do, so that my grandbabies aren't fighting with those Unlucky 13 bastards in another decade, and if they ARE, so that they'll come out on top, without losing friends and family…" Their argument was interrupted when Mason and the twins came rushing into the room and over to Jane's bed.

She sat up and immediately began to apologize. Mason shook his head and held her, "Don't. Don't do that. It's okay. Oh my God…" He touched her belly and gave it a kiss. Major and Mason II got into the bed and cuddled close to her, all crying. Cheri gave them a smile and kissed Stevie's hand.

Sam took Mama T's hand and led her outside of the door. "Wonder what that's about?" Stacie mused, but didn't leave her Daddy's side.

Sam said very clearly, "We can't let Stevie go back to that lifestyle. Fortunately, Cheri and Jake destroyed all of his stuff. I don't care if he has to have a 100% 24/7 psychiatric escort. He's gotta get help and he can't do that anymore."

"Do you know who Brett Bukowski was?" Mama T asked him.

"Yeah. An orderly that Stevie had some issues with whenever he was institutionalized at 16."

"He was more than that. He was a predator and a narcissistic opportunist. Because of him, Stevie and Cheri wound up having a baby (who I love, but we all know could have come forth from better circumstances). Because of him, Max Giardi knew about her and that baby. Therefore, because of him, Cheri spent weeks locked up and neglected in a place that shattered her and molded the next couple of years of her life in trauma and triggers! He deserved to be brought there! They _all_ did!" She lowered her head, "We kill animals for food that it isn't necessary to eat. We could all be vegan, or vegetarian or whatever. We decided that we like meat. We decided that another life can be taken to make our lives more enjoyable. The people who disagree put the lives of animals on the same platform as the lives of humans. What I do is take the lives of racist murderers and terrorists, and I place them beneath my feet. If you must disagree with Stevie; He doesn't need you making him feel any worse than he already does for everything that he puts on himself."

.

Dwight's mother was arrested for her part in the conspiracy - falsely identifying the body of her son when she knew that he was being held elsewhere. The grave was exhumed, and the body that was attacked to be passed off like Dwight's was identified as some other individual with ties to the white supremacists groups (who likely gave himself up for the cause). He came back into the big house - it was bigger than he had remembered it being, but definitely looked like his handiwork. The family collectively decided that they wouldn't get more dogs, for a while. It was extremely hard to deal with losing them, and Mercedes was more shaken up by the fact that their dog house was blown up, instead of their house than she figured that she would have been if their house was blown up.

Sam came up with the idea of them building a dog mausoleum where the dog mansion had been. It would be more like a memorial than a burial place, as they really didn't have much via remains to even bury. Dwight promised to get on the plans for that.

He moved into the master suite, while Mama T decided to stay where she had been resting, desperate not to make him feel like she was trying to force his memory...

In a way, she felt like she was still mourning him, but it was good to be able to go out onto the patio and see him working, living, breathing… even if they couldn't be together the way that they were before. He noticed her and gave her a wave, which she returned, smiling. He often came around her to check on her and couldn't seem to tell if he should hug her or kiss her or something, wound up laughing awkwardly, giving her a nervous peck on the cheek or forehead and staring at her for a moment, trying to remember.

Jake recovered and decided that he couldn't really return to NYC for work or anything else at the moment. Most of his recovery was done in his wing of the house, while Bree tried her hand in the whole dedicated girlfriend thing, helping to nurse him back to health and learn to fight in the meantime.

Investigators asked that none of them go too far. There was a lot of misinformation and confusion of facts surrounding the attacks. There was a lot of paperwork concerning the death certificate, insurance policy and everything else related to Dwight's abduction and presumed death. The information that Preston had put out, regarding DNA, proof of Jesse St. James' murder, and other things were being contested, because of his psychotic attack on this faily and their friends, and all of the damage that he did to Ohio - Mama T was right. Authorities were blaming him for every discrepancy and suspicions that they came across. Even the bodies found in the fire and on the site of where Happy Place burned down were thought to have been planted there to frame Stevie.

The dog house, the Harts' church, Pieces of Mercy, the old Rutherford house, and the community center had all been hit. The explosives weren't all huge. POM actually had damage to the front half of the store, but thank goodness, nobody was hurt and the building was insured. They had been terrified, but were safe, and shut the store down until they could have it fixed back up.

EvansStrong was going to work on rebuilding whatever was attacked, and Life Church would fund as much medical bills by those affected by the explosions, as feasible for their budget.

Tina and Quinn decided that it was time to come back home, for good, if they could. Neighbors moved away from Dwight's house after the explosion, terrified that was the beginning of the end of the neighborhood, so Mike and Cooper bought the closest nearby homes, even though Cooper would have to travel for work.

Matt and Aphasia collected their son, went back to New York and promised to keep in touch. Matt continued trying to do his activism work, however, most were interested in the thing that happened at the old house. They were interested in him the way that they had previously been interested in Sam. There were talks of deals for books, movies, shows, the works. Since it would likely be good for the organization, Matt made a few deals. _Finally Over_ was the working title of the book, and Ruthless Revolutionaries Inc Organization announced that their connections with Ghostskins Inc had been re-established and would remain in tact as long as they were respectively overseen by Matthew Rutherford and Steven Evans.

.

Sam came to the window of the classroom and asked Joe, "Just how damaged are they?"

Joe shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "I wouldn't use the word damaged, but affected. Preston gathered up most of these kids when they were babies or toddlers and placed them all in a special facility, where their only purpose in life was to obey his commands and learn to fight his enemies. Then, they watched him die, and they suffered severe trauma, some from injury, some simply from the situation that he put them in, the explosion, the imminent deaths of their brethren. Five of them seem like they might be able to be okay. I'm not sure about the other four, but of course, the school and the home will do everything that they can for them."

"When you say 'seem like they might be okay," what do you mean?"

Joe expounded, "I mean that they might be able to eventually function like a normal human being and to enjoy the rest of their childhood and adolescence, but it is going to take a tremendous amount of therapy for the other four. Jamie in particular exhibits such a lack of empathy. Chuck and Jackpot… They're… All showing early stages of psychopathic signs. I don't know if we'll even be able to keep them in any foster home. They'll likely be back and forth, probably routinely run away. They'll have to be some place with close supervision and longsuffering attention."

"They can stay with us," Sam said.

Joe simply looked at him, "With us… Like… In the big house?"

"Maybe in the garage house, for now. But, I'll make sure that we keep an eye on them."

"That's not an idea that I believe that I support. They were trying to kill all of us. They aren't suddenly off of the scent of those aspirations."

"No, but they're family and they need help getting out of a life that I led Stevie into and he brought them into…"

"Did you get a family vote on this?"

"No, I did not. But… I offer to help people reform when they aren't blood. These kids _are._ I would take all of them, if I thought that they could be managed. But, those three alone will be hard to deal with."

"They murdered people, Sam. I'm not convinced that they won't be charged as adults for it," Joe said.

"Well, then… I want to be sure to regularly visit them and make sure that they have whatever they need."

"That sounds like a much better plan."

"You said four of them didn't seem alright. Who's the other?"

"They call him Electra's boy, but his name is actually Stevie Jr." He pointed out the 8 year old. "He was tasked with recording everything. His mother has come in to check on him, but she didn't seem eager to bring him home."

"Okay… So… If the top 3, Electra's boy and the twin sister are freed… I will take them into my custody. Even if I have to just put them out in the RV and stay in there with them. I want… these kids to be able to get better."

"That can be done without opening your home to people who arguably still want you dead."

"I was given another chance, by people that I hurt. We can offer the same kindness to Stevie's kids, can't we?"

"We can, but - It's just not safe or wise. Our wives and kids are in that house. These, as young and small as they are, are terrorists who hate us, very specifically."

"Well, I'll be working on that," Sam said.

.

Stevie, Jake, Cheri and Bree rode out to where the ranch was as the construction crew were getting all of the burned down portion out of the way. Stevie told them about his plans for rebuilding his headquarters, and restoring the underground headquarters, as well. "Are you going to… continue working?" Jake wondered.

Stevie sighed, shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, "I don't think so. It was lonely."

Cheri wrapped an arm around him, and he clarified, "I won't, unless I feel like I _have_ to." Bree wrapped an arm around the other side of him. "We probably should get back to the big house. I'm sure Stacie and Mama T have set up everything for Sheva and Sherwood's birthday party."

They began to walk back towards the truck and Jake said, "Hey… Bree… What you think about getting married?" Cheri stopped in her tracks and Stevie smiled, surprised.

Bree nodded her head and folder her arms, "I think that we;ve already been through basically everything else together. I'm down, if you are."

"Okay, and wait for it… What do you think about us asking Stevie and Cheri to draw up a polyamory contract with us?"

"I've been thinking that we should do that anyway," she said and they both turned to Stevie and Cheri.

"Say what, now?" Cheri asked.

Stevie said, "He asked her to marry him and if they sorta wanted to marry us." He laughed.

"Do we get a ceremony?" Cheri asked, excitedly.

"If you want," Jake said.

"Yes!" she cheered. Bree kissed her on the lips and helped her up into the truck. Stevie looked at the grounds where the ranch once stood, and his Ghostskins Hunters Headquarters would be rebuilt. _Finally over._


	38. The Reactant

**The Reactant**

Dwight had a lot of things to stress-work on, so instead of trying to build a mausoleum himself, he ordered one. He still had dollhouses and treehouses and playgrounds to focus on, since he couldn't seem to have one decent non-awkward conversation with anyone in his family, _including his gorgeous wife,_ who he couldn't even remember winning over or building a relationship with.

Stevie seemed to empathize the most with him, not because he was the most caring, but probably because he was not as close to him - Stevie didn't seem to feel bad for him, for what he went through, just to understand it. Jake was overcompensating on being nice and accommodating, to the point that it was annoying, because Dwight couldn't tell if this was guilt or pity driving him. He loved having the kid around, but he also hated how his family was looking at him. It made him feel weak, and powerless. And his wife's sad stares made him feel inadequate… Like he was failing her, like he couldn't protect her, and even though he couldn't _remember_ her, he still felt obligated to do that. To protect her mind, body and soul… He sighed and wiped his brow.

Bree and Cheri were quite helpful and cheerful, too. Because everyone was basically recovering, they spent time trying to help him and "the boys" building stuff, while Sam and Mama T continued with handling the business. Dwight likely wouldn't return to that until after he got his memory back… If that was even happening. He certainly at least needed to find a regular groove with his family, first. Tanisha came out to the second story patio in a bikini with a frozen virgin drink and her earbuds in. "Good God…" Dwight muttered when she took a seat and started lotioning her legs. Jake and Stevie both uncomfortably focused on their work in front of them and let him stare a little bit longer, undisturbed.

.

Stevie wasn't sleeping well. He'd kept waking up suddenly, sometimes screaming, sometimes violently. He asked Cheri to bunk in Jake's room until his meds evened him out. There was something deeply troubling about listening to a madman speak perfectly calmly about the population of the world, the percentage of it that contributes to "the vision" aka white supremacy, and how important it is to upkeep the global system of anti-blackness, if we want to continue to inherit the Earth… WHILE having children carve into your flesh, almost with no reaction at all.

The training session was to create the most painful incisions, which also drained an adequate amount of blood, _without_ killing the "subject," which was him. Whenever one of them made a mistake, they had to cauterize it. He tried to remain still, to keep mistakes to a minimum… But this was also 11 year old boys, and 10 year olds… and maybe 9's and 8's… He had only had about a year of semen extraction, excluding the women he actually had sex with. He wasn't sure how much of this was his actual offspring and how much of this was a Schuester mindfuck. They loved mindfucking, and they were good at it, because he was… mentally exhausted and felt extremely broken.

"All degenerates have their place… none of you know yours," Preston had said and it stuck with him, even though he knew it wasn't true. There was another side of that, for him. What WAS his place?

He had felt like he was doing mission work in eliminating these threats. Now, he wasn't sure if that had merely been psychosis. It wasn't fair to blame murder on mental illness. Especially when most murderers, while they had a psychological disorder, weren't the general representation of mental illness. That was one of the reasons that he didn't want to ever be found out. If people found out, they would further demonize those with issues that weren't dangerous to others and the stigma would make it even harder for all of the open conversations on mental illness (which were even more scarce when he was young). It was one of the main reasons that he and Dani knew that nobody could ever find out about things. That they would just burn it all down, downstairs and all whenever it appeared that he might get caught. He was grateful that Cheri had moved her body and that they could give her a burial. He couldn't… attend her services, even though he paid for them. He just… couldn't.

.

Sam felt like maybe _he_ should try some medication. Honestly, between having to walk right back into one of the most horrifying scenes of his life, witnessing the casual way that Preston taunted Matt, and seeing Matt - who was for the most part very calm - have to break and have to physically hurt someone… To be fair, he _wanted_ Matt to be able to have this due. Matt was owed this retribution and Preston deserved every passionate punch that Matt gave him. He deserved to be pounded to death for everything that he did. Sam hated thinking that, but it was what he thought. But, he also knew that it might make Matt feel worse. That there was someone who had that type of power over him, that he would compromise his identity that way. It was self defense, self preservation, defense of his wife, but… Matt was a gentle person, despite his cold demeanor and practical behavior. Not only was he not the type to throw fists first, but he also was the type who cared about losing control, especially in front of someone. He was like… What's his face… Spock, or whatever. He asked Stevie to check in on Matt for him, but Stevie simply said, "Course, I'm checking in on him," and never told SAM how he was feeling or doing. _Sigh._

Sam looked around at everyone in the yard as he prepared to meet up with Mercedes at Tina's, as there were going to help Tina move in, get unpacked, etc, and then they would be helping Quinn the following week. It was going to be basically a drinking party where they open up boxes, have no idea where Tina wanted the stuff, and laugh about Mike's confusion as to how they were "helping" unpack. The children were all at the big house with the other Evanses.

Sam and Tina did most of the work, while Mike was being an excellent "moving day" host, making sure there were snacks and drinks. Quinn was working, while she was unpacking, and trying to set things back the way that they had been in Tina's home before, from memory while she handled things on her headset. Sam and Tina were laughing and chatting and Mercedes told Mike, "This is the happiest that he's been in months. I'm so glad that you two decided to come back. People often think that I need these support systems, but Sam needs them just as much, if not more. He definitely needed his Tina."

Mike nodded, "She was very disappointed that she couldn't be here for the two of you, in person. Whenever Papa Dwight was attacked, we started checking into the logistics of moving back. Honestly, we'd moved out there for her benefit, her mental health and her spirit. It's been healed for a while, now. I just hope that it stays that way, coming back to all of this."

"I mean… it's over, though…" Mercedes said.

"Is it? Who set off all of those bombs, then?" Mike asked. Mercedes nodded. They had asked themselves that plenty of times, but Matt and Stevie claimed that they were looking into that information, and she believed that they would be able to find it.

Quinn interrupted her thoughts when she said, "Well, tell him to take his thumb out of his hairy asshole and get to work! And he'd better wash his hands first."

Mike and Mercedes leaned on each other and laughed. Mercedes observed, "I don't miss working with her."

Mike shook his head, "I'm forever grateful that she's always liked me." Destiny's Child Jumpin' came on the streaming service and everyone yelled, "Heyyyyyyy!" Before singing along and dancing to the music together. Quinn was still on the phone, but bent over and started twerking it for measure. Tina slapped her across the backside, then retrieved Mercedes by the hand to pull her into a dance circle with them.

.

Jane sorted through the information that she had from Preston, the threats of it going public, the pieces that she had found elsewhere, which coincided with what she had… She rubbed her belly, and made a call. "Hey… I'm still looking at some loose ends. All roads don't lead back to Preston Schuester. Some of this seems like it might… lead to Stevie…"

Matt sighed and asked, "Is it something that we can fix?"

"I mean… I don't know. This looks like it suggests that Stevie hunted down 26 people in 6 months, and that they vanished after he found them. How do I fix that?"

"Is there a way to make it appear to be a set up? Like… Bots for counterintelligence?" Matt wondered.

"I think I have someone that I could speak with, but I would want to know exactly what I'm doing, here."

"Just give me their information," he instructed.

"Okay. I will send it to you… Matt, we're… Still the good guys, right? We still do what is just and fair?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, the world doesn't… So… Sometimes, we have to do what is necessary and we'll have to answer for whether or not it was right whenever someone powerful enough to judge us brings us before themselves, to be judged." There was a pause and he said, "I don't want to say too much over the phone. But, you remember the jokes that Phai and Dre used to make about Happy Place? It was one of those moments where Dre said something completely and utterly fantastical, but it turned out to be accurate. Are you able to continue to work with us, or should I accept a long list of reasons why you morally can't?"

Jane shook her head, like he could see her and rubbed her belly, "We… Have to do what is necessary. If God has an issue with us, I'm sure she'll intervene." Matt sighed again, this time with relief. "You okay, Big Bro? I know that it was really tough for you to have to go through all of that."

"The worst part was seeing that he had all of you. You all mean more to me than I ever had the chance to build with my family. You all _are_ my family."

"Let me go handle this. I want to be able to straighten all of this out by the time that I take my leave of absence." She disconnected and called Stevie, "Hey! Um… I have some information for you, to do whatever _you_ see fit with."

"Send it," he said.

Jane found some ip addresses and the information connected to them. Without Preston's coverage, those connected to his project didn't have all of the necessary security to stay anonymous… Not when _she_ was on the job. Of course, Dre would have shut this shit down from the jump… but… Apparently, _that_ was why she died. Jane felt bad for it, but that was somehow a relief. Not that Andrea was dead, but that whether or not she had defaulted to her trauma, they _still_ would have killed her.

.

Stevie began to pack up some supplies onto his truck, while Cheri curiously watched. He was on and off of the phone, and she couldn't help but notice that he had some "hunting" supplies. "Jake," she said and nudged him. "Where is Stevie going?"

"Oh, Jane said she had something for him to look into," Jake said, casually. She nodded her head, then rushed out of the gate, across the street to Tina's house, to find Sam. She knocked, rang the doorbell, then knocked again, and when she was about to ring the doorbell again, Mike opened the door with a confused smile.

"Sam!" She called out, passing by Mike, crucially.

Sam jumped, startled at her tone and her sense of urgency. "Stevie is packing up for hunting," she said. Sam tilted his head for a moment, then rushed out, followed closely by her. Stevie was startled when they both came running up to him. Tina, Mike, Quinn and Mercedes came, also - slower and confused, though they were.

"What's up?" Stevie asked.

"What are you doing?" Sam wondered.

"I have to go take care of something," Stevie said and threw Cheri a look.

"Stevie, you don't have to do this alone," she said.

Sam turned on her now, "He doesn't have to do this, at all!"

Cheri shook her head and said, "Now, I know that you know that isn't true, after the lengths that these people go and the things that they do." She grabbed Sam's shirt, "You just need to… help him. Back him up. Please?"

"He wouldn't come with me, even if he could!" Stevie snapped at her. "Just…" He collected her and kissed her on the forehead, "Just, take care if the children."

She started crying. "Don't do this again. You can't just go to them again! Last time, it was almost 20 kids and some hidden adults there to grab you! We got Papa Dwight back, we have Miss Tina moving in across the street and Miss Quinn moving in next to her. We're about to have our family back, and rebuild our social community. Our twins are starting elementary school and about to turn five. Don't DO this! Sam, don't let him go by himself, please!"

Stevie said, "I already know how he feels about this. I'm not gonna ask him to go there with me."

"I'M asking him!" Cheri screeched.

"Baby, listen…"

"No, YOU listen! In the past year, I have battled an illness, lived apart from you, because I thought that would help, had my kidnapping stirred up, almost got killed, twice, could have lost my babies AND you, grieved over the man who walked me down the aisle AND the woman who took me in when I was a pregnant teen, and now, things are starting to be where they feel like they should be for THE FIRST TIME in years! YEARS! If Sam won't go with you, fucking take me!" Everybody was staring. The kids. The friends. Everybody.

Jake raised both hands, gently backed Cheri up and said, "I'll go with him, okay?"

Dwight wondered, "Where's he goin'? Hell, _I'll_ go with him, if it's this important. He grabbed his shirt and headed over, too.

Sam simply said, "Since, clearly nobody thinks that this is the wrong idea, I'll go." He pointed at Dwight, "Not you, though. You stay right here."

"Excuse me?" Dwight asked.

"You've gone through enough, being held prisoner for the past few months. Just… Relax. Go flirt with your wife. You've been drooling over her all day," Sam said, getting into the backseat of Stevie's truck. Whenever Stevie and Jake got in, (Jake in the driver's seat) Sam reiterated, "This is not the right thing to do, but I just don't know what is."

"You've hurt better people for doing less to you," Stevie reminded him.

Jake told them both, "We gotta be on the same page. The way they get into your head… We have to do this for the right reason, whether or not we think it's best, or right, or necessary. They are a threat to our family and our home. We gotta protect that. Agreed?" He held out his hand and Stevie immediately took it, then Sam placed his on theirs and squeezed. Jake reinforced, "I can't watch the people we love go through for the rest of our lives…"

.

On the trip to where they would be going, Stevie explained his process to his brothers. Matt was going to be on surveillance and communicate through walkies, just as Andrea had done for them before, whenever Stevie was on the other side of this thing. Now, Sam had questions for himself. Why was he so hesitant about this? It had been easy for him to attack Matt, whenever he thought that he was trying to come between he and his wife. But, these people had done far worse to far more people and also were still determined to harm them. Stevie just wanted peace. Was that so bad? He loved Stevie. He wanted him to have peace, too. He wanted all of them to have it.

The ride back to the big house was quiet. Sam felt displaced. He needed to take a trip to the church, and asked Stevie to drop him off, but Stevie said, "I'll go _with_ you. None of us need to be alone, right now." They went to the church and Jake and Stevie waited while Sam bowed down before the altar, crying and praying. Jake was the first to go to him, and simply rested beside him and wrapped his arms around him. Stevie found it a little bit harder to do. It was partially his fault that his brother was reduced to this. But… these things _needed_ to be done… and he supposed Sam _needed_ comfort. He joined them and they were there for a while before Sam was able to get up. When he was, they just hugged it out and cried a little while longer, standing up and apologizing and such. The drive home was a little less tense and when they got there, the kids had gone to bed, but all the ladies and Dwight were in the living room, listening to music and waiting up.

Stevie and Jake took Bree and Cheri and retired for the night, giving Mama T kisses on their way. Mercedes was content enough to go to bed, but Sam told her that he wasn't quite ready yet. She asked him simply, "Don't stay up too late," and gave him a kiss.

She went to their quarters and whenever it was Sam, Dwight and Mama T, Mama T said, "Sam, if you're going to do this… You'll have to make sure that you believe in it. It's too hard of a burden, if it isn't something that you want to do. I know that Cheri put a lot of pressure on you today, and I didn't want to say too much while everyone was watching, but this is such a hard role to take on."

"I won't just leave it to my little brothers," he said.

"Younger. Younger brothers, Sam. Stevie and Jake aren't babies and they aren't kids. They're grown men who believe that they have to do this to tie up the loose ends to keep our family safe. You do a lot, right here, everyday. You do a lot for the company and you do a lot for this household. If you can't do that, we understand."

Sam looked at Dwight and wondered, "Do you know what she's talking about?"

"She explained it to me."

"And, what do you think about it?"

"I would do anything to keep our family safe. I hate that _this_ is where they've brought us to, but it is what it is. She's right - you don't have to do everything."  
"Stevie did most of the work." Sam said. "It's just… I'm a man of God."

"So was Joshua," Mama T said.

"So was David," Dwight added.

"That was different!" Sam said.

"You don't have to do it," Mama T said.

"Then, when they come again, I'll feel responsible, like I always do. I always feel at fault. Because it was me that opened the door for these people. I am the one that invited them into our lives. How can I now get to say that I won't fight them that I won[t stop them?" Mama T came over and collected him into an embrace. "I just want us to be able to live and not worry. That's all I want. I want the peace and joy that I had at the beginning of the year, when I minded my business and nobody came for me."

"Only… They did come," Mama T said, calmly and stroked her fingers through his hair, "And we… weren't prepared. The person who came out of actually facing them the most unscathed when they did attack _was_ Stevie. He spent all of that time preparing and practicing, so that whenever they came back, he was ready. You can be the man of God who keeps his hands clean. We don't expect you to walk into battles ready to kill. But, will you be alright?" Sam nodded and she gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Go spend time with our Doll. She's been worried about your spirit, tonight."

Sam gave Dwight a hug and left the living room. Dwight and Tanisha were alone for the first time, today… In a while, actually. She asked, "Can I crash at yours, like the old days, that mean absolutely nothing to you, tonight?"

He sat up and took both of her hands in his, "I was actually wondering… What you would think about moving back into the master's with me?" She furrowed her eyebrows. "It's just that… When we were in the safehouse, you hardly ever actually used the room that they assigned you to. You usually slept in the living room, where the kids were camped out, and I slept nearby too. We were practically side by side and I recall waking up sometimes with you bundled up right next to me and it was comfortable for me. I went from that to being with Preston, to… sleeping alone in a huge bed with all these traces of a woman all over the room, traces of you. And, no - I don't remember all the nights you spent crashing at mine, and I don't remember our Cowboy babysitting dates, or platonic plus ones… But I do remember, at least - even though not on the level that you do - being able to sleep with you cuddled next to me. It was one of the things that I thought about a lot when I was there. I couldn't figure out why. I guessed that it was because you were the last woman that I had been touched by, I just didn't know how closely."

She blinked away some tears. "Um, sure. Of course. I just need to grab some things from the spare room."

"I can help," he said, standing up, eagerly. She smiled and let him pull her up by the hand.

Whenever they got inside of the room that she had been cooped up in, he saw her surrounded by several of his things, photos and other stuff. It was like a shrine. She nervously ignored him looking around to gather up some of her things that she used regularly. "Anything you want me to grab?" He asked.

"You can grab the stuff that I have on the vanity table. My skin supplies."

He began to collect the items. "It makes perfectly good sense that you don't look a day over 35." She smiled brightly at him saying that and he blushed. "What? You don't!"

"Yeah… You've told me that before. You've actually said it a lot."

He smiled, too. "Do you need this lock box?"

"Oh… No. It's just our porn," she said, waving a hand at it as she threw her bag over her shoulder.

" _Our_ porn?" he asked. "Like… A collection that we gathered together?"

"That we made," she told him. He stared at the box and she wondered, "Did you want to take it?"

"I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't curious!" She smiled and grabbed it on her way out, with him following behind with an embrace full of beauty supplies.

.

Sam was on the patio, on the hammock, trying to relax when Stevie found him, "Hey. Thanks for coming along with us. I appreciated it."

Sam stirred and sat up, "Did Mama T tell you to say that?"

"No, I actually can occasionally pretend to be a human being, sometimes." Sam got off of the hammock and messed around with his hands. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm not gonna suspend my humanity to you just because we got Daddy back. I cared, before we even knew that he was gone. When Kendra stabbed you, I didn't know what to do. I don't know what I would have done if _both_ of you were gone, but the fact that you were here was extremely important to me. No matter what I've said in the past or what we've gone through before this whole wave of attacks, I did still care and I'll always love you."

Sam nodded, "I never meant to make you feel like I didn't think you were human, Stevie. I disagreed with you, a lot. I was judgmental and I pushed you away when I should have been reaching out to you. Maybe if I had, you would never have been…"

"I don't regret my decisions," Stevie quickly informed him. "Let me give you something." He reached into his messenger bag and said, "This is the trial that Preston Schuester put me on, when he had me in that basement. Jane found it out there, and directed me to where I could find who posted it, people working with him, against us. This recording is what that space was used for, before I used it against them. This shows the type of people that I located, in one of their truest forms. He had a child record this, a group of children witness and help him to perform it. Watch it, and please, if you still feel like I've done something wrong by going after people like him, after seeing it, then… Maybe we just don't need to discuss our personal choices."

Sam went to find his laptop and made his way into the walk-in closet in he and Mercedes' room. From almost the beginning, he was fearful and tense. Stevie was strapped down and there were kids around him, the top 3. Preston was reporting, Stevie's name, date of birth and his charges, "Crimes against white power and actions against it's agents." Preston read off a list of names, painfully forced Stevie to admit what he did to them and why:

Convinced a group of teenagers to hang a black child (which they got off of by pretending that they were only joking and didn't mean for him to get hurt)

Used his badge for the power to sexually assault black women, mostly sex workers over the course of several years

Got off for sexually molesting his daughter, a neighborhood girl and his younger sister, because all of those crimes were "so long ago"

Pretended to be an activist and incited a riot that got 12 peaceful protestors arrested, 6 beaten and 3 killed.

Killed a neighborhood child for a petty disturbance and was supported for standing his ground.

Organized a group set to attempt to frame BLM activists for the murder of some fairly decent cops.

Bombed an alt right meeting location (not bad), blamed it on local antifa outfit and got several people looked into for domestic terrorism.

Abducting young girls to sell them into sexual slavery.

Child pornography and trafficking, vetting girls for sex work, under the guise of being his romantic partner…

Sam could hardly stand to hear these things. He knew that people like them existed. He knew that people like them thrived in groups where they could be praised for their superiority. He knew that monsters like them roamed the streets… But… That Stevie would have to really look into people, discover their secrets and find them, track them down and harm them to make the world a little bit safer… That _was_ a huge burden, and he wasn't sure why Stevie felt like he had been called to take this upon himself, until he got passed all of the killer cops, crooked politicians that starved and then punished children, etc, and came to one name, the _first,_ apparently. Brett Bukowski:

"Took a black girl as a personal slave and mentally, emotionally and to some degree physically tortured her for years…"

"But, is that why _you_ killed him, Steven?" Preston taunted. "This first. This catalyst for all of the crimes that followed, that was completely not personal, for you?"

Stevie was crying angry tears and had cuts all over his torso from the children. "He manipulated me when I wasn't mentally stable enough to defend myself. He got information from me that I was too gullible not to give him. And in return, he… He…"

"He gave you up to my son. He told Max all about your pet nigger and your little half breed and Max used what he knew to find her, take her and torture her," Preston finished.

"I didn't know that when I took him. He confessed that when I had him. He _had_ to die for it. He _had_ to. I don't regret a single. Fucking. Thing."

"Then, you plead guilty."

"Happily." Stevie said.

"Before I sentence you to death, I want you to know… Max fucked her." Stevie began struggling to get out of the restraints, but Preston injected him with something and the recording stopped. Sam took out his earbuds, shut his laptop and almost threw it across the room. Stevie was right. They were all right. These motherfuckers _deserved_ what they got. He could claim that he was like one of those people once too, but _had he_ been killed in that state, he would have deserved it. Yes, he was allowed to live, to change, but… Maybe that wasn't what would have happened with everyone! Preston Schuester was 70 years old, still doing the same atrocious things. But, who was he to judge? _My brother's keeper…_

Sam hadn't been there while he was in prison, too afraid for his siblings to see him in that condition. He had not been there for Stevie when Stevie was in that place. He tried, but he got too busy. He wasn't there for him after they rescued Cheri, while Stevie (in his own delicate condition) was trying to help piece her and their family back together. He just… presumed that Stevie had a handle on it. Stevie often seemed so strong and usually rejected any attempts at help. Sam should have been more forceful _with that._ Instead of using as much force as he did trying to tell him what he was doing wrong when he finally found something to build himself up on. Sam rushed out of the closet, hardly able to breathe and went to find his younger brother. Stevie, Jake, Bree and Cheri were seated at the patio table, having drinks when Sam rushed over and wrapped his arms around Stevie from behind.

Cheri immediately started crying, Jake rubbed her hand, and Bree stared at Sam in confusion, and mildly offended that everyone knew what was happening here, but nobody had told her. "I'm sorry, Stevie. I'm so sorry. I'll make it all up to you, I promise."

Stevie shook him off. "Stop it. You're embarrassing me." Sam gave Cheri a hug, too. Stevie pulled him off, "Quit, Sam. Nobody's perfect. Enjoy your day."

.

Jane saw the correlation between all of the missing people, the travel information of Stevie's trips, some in the RV and some by plane, the "proof" that he had killed these people. She had various accounts to chatter about how Preston Schuester had high connections and probably, most likely framed Stevie, having obsessively been watching him; that he must have taken the types that he knew someone like Stevie would hate and killed them himself, leaving the bodies to be found in Stevie's possession. After all, numerous bodies had been found "in Stevie's possession" before, bodies that had been hidden by generations of Schuesters, up through William! This was just more Schuester mayhem and Schuester had just used more of his own pawns in order to produce it.

Then, she had several accounts that focused on the enemy element of Preston Schuester. He had a partially black son. _She rolled her eyes at even the suggestion that Will was that, just because of a few old ass drops of blood._ He hid this knowledge, when he found out. He allowed his son to continue to be in a position of power, where he was allowed to also sacrifice young actual white boys and men to his personal causes, like Sam Evans and Rick Nelson, and all of these other alleged victims of Stevie Evans are just more of his self hating, sabotaging treason…

Honestly, it gave her a headache to produce so many gross rumors, even about this chomp. The worst part was the number of people that agreed with these assessments and while they still hated Stevie Evans and wanted to hang him, burn him, beat him, etc… They didn't necessarily believe that he was smart enough or strong enough to pull of what Preston accused him of, neither did they think that Sam Evans was, for "I mean… He couldn't even kill ONE Rutherford roach on his own!" She cringed and logged off on that note. That was enough.

She set her laptop aside and replaced it with her cell phone. She had a photo of Andrea and De'Wanda as her wallpaper and she said, "I hope that you both approve. It feels like justice, to me, okay?" She kissed it before unlocking her phone to browse for the rest of the night.

.

Leaving the site of the ranch, Stevie pulled into the gate of the big house and there was SO MUCH already going on. "Did they hire a carnival? I feel so uncomfortable having all of these people here while we've not yet found everybody that came after us."

Cheri reminded him, "We have to continue to live our lives…" She looked at her phone and said, "Which is why Marley has finally given me the go ahead to casually drop the news to my fans that I am cancer free."

"On this, the day of our kids' birthday?" Stevie asked.

"Their birthday was Wednesday. Today's Saturday," she reminded him and got out of the truck, producing her message.

Bree wondered, "I know that all of the kids already have a godmother, BUT, I kinda would like if I could be called Godmomma or Godmommy, you know… since we gon' be cohabita'in and everything."

Jake translated, "Cheri just said the one name that stirs her up, so she wants to supersede "Aunt Marley."

"I want to _transcend_ Aunt Marley, and anyways, Stacie is called Aunt Stacie! They don't even call her Godmother. I think if I'm shacking up with their parents, Godmommy isn't a huge stretch, even if technically, I may not be their godmother, which, if I'm married to their godfather, aren't I, actually?"

"Girl, get out of this truck," Stevie said. Jake just laughed. "Godmommy headass."

"So, that's a yes?"

"How about after we construct the contract?" Jake suggested. She nodded and got out of the truck, knowing that was a yes. "Are you going to be able to enjoy today for Woody and The Diva?"

" _Thee_ Diva, and yes. I'm just… I keep thinking about it all. All of this could have been prevented. Every single choice, every single step that was made to get us here, and now, huge strides, leaps and bounds have to be made to get us out. I never wanted my family to know just who I was. They had enough disdain for me not knowing that much. I guess, I'm still in a space where I'm reeling that I haven't been disowned, and still yet stuck knowing that I can't stop now. I couldn't, if I wanted to, but I have to free us up and I have to make sure that Woody and Sheva get to be my age and not have to constantly worry. I'm scared that they've already internalized hyper-paranoia, because of what they've experienced this young."

"What me and Sam did with you, that was a covenant. Maybe our family is the most fucked up one out there, but we're going to all be here for each other. Now, let's get to this party. I see two castle cakes and I'm trying to storm both of them." Jake opened the truck door and Stevie pulled him into a hug. "Hey, Stevie… I promise, it's gonna all be okay." Stevie nodded and got out of the vehicle, as well.


	39. The Relief

**The Relief**

The Unicorn-Princess-Pirate-Carnival Birthday party (because both of the twins couldn't decide which of their top two choices of party to make the theme, their father could care less IF there was a theme (hence how there ended up being a Toy Story bouncy castle for Sherwood's guests), and their mother was an enabler that decided that four themes wasn't too much for her babies. In the end, it was more like seven, but Stacie worked hard to try to tie everything in together. It was stressful changes for most of the kids, but there was cotton candy, popcorn, and Dwight on the grill, so… That was like comfort.

Cheri and Bree washed up and changed, while Jake and Stevie immediately went to where the food was. The women in the family were all wearing pink, Sheva's favorite color, possibly because it was her mom's fave. Sherwood specifically told his dad, "Don't make people wear stuff. Let them wear whatever is fun!" So, Cheri decided that the guys could all wear blue, which they of course did, because she said so.

Everyone actually needed this. There were two bouncy castles, a bumper cars rental, a carousel rental, two cakes, an ice cream bar, and a dance floor.

Quinn negotiated with Beth that she could stay in Washington with Cooper during the school year, so that she didn't have to move and leave her friends, since he technically worked out of Washington.

For Quinn to allow it, Beth had to liberally check in with Quinn whenever she wasn't in school. That didn't bother Beth, at all. She loved hanging out with her friends, but she never did anything that she would feel the need to hide. Quinn was concerned that the house might become a cesspool, without an adult being regularly present, but that was why she would stay on top of the checking in. She presumed that Beth would eventually grow weary and either move in with her or love it so much that she relished the school year, because it meant more independence.

Beth flew in for the weekend of the birthday party. Mike's birthday was a day after the twins,' so Cheri wanted to throw his name into it, but he strongly declined. The previous Thursday, he'd had dinner with his parents, siblings, wife and kids, and a wholesome vegan cupcake, and he was set for celebration. Besides, he now had his anime buddy, Sam, back and they were scheduled for a marathon, soon.

Tanisha had not been at a party sober since she was in high school. She decided to be Sheva's personal assistant for the event. Cheri was in some kind of… She guessed carnival girl outfit… Or was that circus? Whatever it was, it was extra. That child. No wonder for the slumber party tonight, Sheva insisted that her guests have pretty tents, and that hers be the prettiest tent. Meanwhile, Sherwood was satisfied with a pillow fort that his Uncle Sammy built. Sheva had an entourage, as well. Major I, which was basically her other fabulous half, Leilani, who was a year older, but a follower, and a few girls that she knew from preschool. Tanisha followed behind them to make sure that she wasn't being too bossy, and holding things that she quickly lost interest in when something else happened!

Charmaine and Sterling had been playing with Bliss and Blessing most of the time, these days. The four were in Sherwood's bouncy castle for longer than was probably reasonable. When they got out, Mercedes collected them to see if anyone wanted something to drink. They definitely did… Then they rushed back to the bouncy castle.

Sherwood himself had to try out and experience every activity and every food, along with his partner in crime, Mason II - both dressed as pirates today.

Sam had the damnedest time accounting for the children, and even though security was enforced, and everyone was checked at the gate as invited, he was tense about such a grand event. Cheri would not let up when he tried to ask her if she thought perhaps that they should have a low-key party. Her kids had been expecting a big, fun party, long before they were attacked and she didn't want to enforce that if someone hurt or frightened you, you have to live in that fear forever.

So, Sam made a bold move, too. He got with the institution for juvenile delinquents and allotted for the children to be able to make an appearance at the party. No, not all of the children, just the Unlucky 13 Platoon kids. The bus arrived at some point, and they all had on white jumpsuits, and had three escorts with them. Dwight stared at the children as they awkwardly were escorted to a table, most of the eyes out there were on them. Mercedes sliced pieces of cake for each of them and Quinn and Tina helped to pass them out. As she did, she mentioned, "Now, we have a lot of ice cream options, but I'm told that you're not allowed to leave the table by yourselves, so if it's alright with your escorts, they can lead you, in a line or one at a time through the ice cream bar." She looked out at nobody. After the kids were settled with ice cream and cake, she sat at the table with them. "Do you all mind if I have mine, here, too?" she asked. Nobody replied.

"They don't mind," one of the escorts told her.

"I would so much rather they spoke for themselves. They've been directed to answers for most of their lives. It might be refreshing for them to just speak their mind today. I encourage that."

"It's your house," one of them said to her. "You can sit wherever you want."

"True. I can… But, I wouldn't want you to be more uncomfortable, if my sitting here does that to you. You might just want to sit with your brothers and sisters, have your cake and ice cream and go back to that place. You might not want to sit and talk or be friendly."

"I'd like to talk," one of the girls said. Mercedes took a seat. "Is this your house?"

"This is my father-in-law's house, but he lets me live here, because I'm married to his son."

"Is his son the one with the church?" She wondered.

"Yes, he is."

"So, you're the blind nigger," she observed.

"Charlize, you're not allowed to say that word," the escort reminded her.

"You can't see," Charlize went on to say. "That's a major defect. Why do you keep on living?"

"I love life. Even though I can't see, I can do just about everything else that anybody else can do. I laugh with my friends, go out to dance, or sing karaoke. I like to play with my kids and nieces and nephews…"

"When are we leaving?" Jamie asked one of the escorts.

"Let us have some fun, first!" Jackpot hissed at him. "There's a jumpy house. If we're good, we might be able to use the jumpy house!"

Jamie slapped the table, "They are not going to let us anywhere near their precious little half-breed kids! And you shouldn't even _want_ to be near them!"

"Language, Jamie," the escort said. Jamie folded his arms and sat back in his seat.

Mercedes offered, "If anybody does want to go to the bouncy castle, we'll have to watch closely for everybody's safety, but I don't think it would be a problem." Jamie turned red in the face, fuming.

Sam asked, "Who does want to visit the bouncy castle?" several of the children raised their hands. They had been locked up for weeks, trying to figure out what their lives would become, now that the only person that they thought gave it any direction was gone. A fun day out was a small beam of light. He took them, along with two of the escorts and Joe, while the top 3 remained seated.

Mercedes pointed a hand towards Jackpot, "I thought that you wanted to go." He looked around, leaned towards her, waved a hand in front of her face. "I can tell where you are, even though I can't see you. I thought you wanted to go to the bouncy castle. You don't have to sit it out just to make your brother happy."

Jackpot looked at the other escort, who told him, "Hurry up and catch them, before they're out of my line of sight." He got up and rushed after the others.

Now, Stevie came over and sat next to Mercedes. Jamie and Chuck both straightened up. "How are y'all?" he asked. They glared at him, then quickly avoided looking at him. "I think that you're both probably extremely angry. Angry with yourselves, angry with me, with the situation, maybe even with Preston…"

"We're not angry at Commanding Father!" Jamie snapped.

"Whenever I no longer had the brotherhood, I was angry with everyone, including myself."

"It was your fault. You assassinated Hank Saunders," Jamie reminded him.

"I did. But, it was his fault. Hank hurt my family. For me, that means that he had to die."

"Is that a threat?" Jamie asked. "Because I hurt your family, too. We all did."

"No. Unfortunately for you, seeing as how you hate me, DNA revealed that you're my family too. Fortunately for you, you're technically my firstborn. So, no matter what's happened - I'll always feel something towards you, a connection or something. I can't define it."

Jamie had tears in his eyes, but he wasn't swayed. "You have a firstborn. You hashtag him firstborn in all of his pictures. You raised him. You live with him. You've killed for him. You're only saying what you're saying to me because you think I'll tell you something about our contacts. I would never do that. I'm not a traitor, like you."

"Actually, I don't need you to tell me anything about your contacts. I've got people on that, and we've gotten in touch with several of them," Stevie said, omitting the fact that he would never see or hear from them again. "My brother wants you in his home. He wants you in this family. I don't know that I want that. Just looking at you is traumatic for me. I associate your face with abuse, but I know whatever I'm thinking and feeling has to pale in comparison to what must be happening in you. So… I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you were targeted, groomed and used the way that you were. But, I know that you can come out of it. I did, and my rescue arrived much later. I know, you also have the fact that this is the only life that you've ever known. But, there is always more to life than just what we know. I'd love for our family to be able to share ours with you. But, like Mercy said, we're not going to try to force any of you into anything." Stevie got up, squeezed Mercedes' shoulder and went to meet with Sam at the bouncy castle.

"I don't think any of us are ready for what you're trying to do." Stevie warned.

"You know I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, right?"

"Stupid fuckin' philosophy," Stevie muttered.

"And I think that the reason that these kids were brought into our lives was for us to save them. I spent time trying to save men who had made decisions.I hadn't thought about kids who were being forced into those worlds. When you were hunting, did you make sure that kids left behind were taken someplace safe? I feel like… We fought in our own ways for years. I fought with faith, you fought with fists, but as we changed the monsters or destroyed them, we neglected the children. If we intervened now, when they're small, we could make vast differences."

"Three of them are already killers, Sam."

"You think that makes them bad kids? Because…"

"I think that makes them harder to reach. Harder to reach than I was, and damn sure harder to reach than you were."

"I think it's worth the try," Sam said. "Look at that…" Jackpot and Charlize were giving each other double high fives when they jumped into the air. "Their innocence was stolen. They can't get it back. But, can't we give them a brighter future?"

Stevie shrugged his shoulders and repeated, "I think it's worth the try."

.

Dwight let Jake take over the grill so that he could leave the party. He wasn't feeling well. The presence of the other children, combined with Sam and Stevie's plans for them, and the memories that he _did_ have, of being in a hospital bed, barely conscious half the time, always in pain, until he healed, with those children being sometimes the only faces that he would see for days...

He wanted to find Nish - just to let her know that he was going to go lay down for a while. He didn't know if he needed to tell her that, but they were married, so it seemed polite. Besides, he hadn't seen her in hours and for whatever reason, just getting a look at her made his day, a lot. Whenever he finally found her, she was talking to a vaguely familiar looking man. He waited for the conversation to end, as to not be rude, but he did find himself feeling a little bit jealous.

He couldn't hear the conversation. "What are you doing here?" She asked Frank.

"I brought the baby a present and came to check on you and the kid. Seemed like a lot was going on. I saw a post about this and figured it would be nice to stop by. You look great. How are you? I read that you went to rehab after your husband died."

She looked at the "present." It was just a pack of diapers. "What is this? Who is this for?"

"The baby! Isn't Jake having one?" He asked.

"NO, he isn't. Thank God. Passing on your genes would be literally the worst thing that he's ever done in his life!" She fussed. "This is a birthday party, for two five year old twins. My husband's son's kids. Where did you even hear about this?"

"On Jake's girlfriend's page. We're friends. She posts a lot of hot photos. Sexy young lady." Frank said. "I guess I got confused. Anyway, how have you been? Widowing looks great on you."

"My husband isn't dead, so I'm not a widow and how did you even know where we live?" She was highly flustered. She hadn't been able to have a drink. She had to try to be sociable for the first time in months! She had been listening to five year old children's convos for hours, and this scalawag...

"Hey… Everything okay, Darlin'?" Dwight asked, approaching, bothered by how frustrated his wife seemed with this guy. He put his hand on the small of her back and thumbed it.

"Frank was just leaving," she said and shoved the diapers back to him.

"Frank?" Dwight repeated.

Frank reached his hand out to shake Dwight's, "Yeah, we've seen each other before, but we didn't have the chance to meet. You were… delightfully engaged," he said and smiled in Tanisha's direction. Dwight tilted his head and Tanisha folded her arms, angrily wishing that she could have a drink, actually rationalizing that since Dwight was alive, that she should be FINE to drink, because she didn't have issues with her drinking before then, and…

"You were watching us outside of the house on our date," Dwight said, knowingly.

She hardly had a moment to get excited about the fact that he had just remembered something on his own! - Because Dwight took a swing at Frank and clocked him right in the jaw. Tanisha let out a shocked scream, which caused Sam, Stevie, Jake, and Stacie all to run in that general direction.

The diapers flew from his arms and he hit the ground. Frank defended, "I knew that my ex and my kid had been going through things. I wanted to try to at least see about them for once…"

Dwight yelled at Frank and pointed his finger at him, fussing, "You ignored your son and wife for at least 18 years, you selfish bastard. How dare you come to my home and try to say _anything_ to her?"

"Daddy?" the kids all said at the same time.

Dwight turned around, suddenly aware of where he was and how many people were watching and simply told them, "Get this sorry joker off my property, before I hurt him." Stevie and Jake picked Frank up from the ground and shoved him towards the gate.

Mama T had her hands over her mouth, "Dwight?" He turned to her and she saw it in his eyes - he knew her.

"Baby…" he whimpered.

"Dwight!" She cheered and rushed into his arms, to his kiss.

"I don't have it all back," he admitted. "But… This is a start, ain't it?" He held her tightly.

Sam quickly returned his attention to the children. They had not even noticed anything was off. Precious.

.

Matt showed up after all of the fuss. Thankfully, _the other_ children were gone, and the party was actually winding down, or more accurately transitioning into the slumber parties. He carried Mattie and a package, while talking on the phone and nudging his head in acknowledgment to others. "There are still guards at the gate, and everybody here right now is either a small child or somebody we know. I know. I understand. He'll be with his uncle Stevie and his cuzzos. I promise, every single thing will be okay, alright?"

Stevie took Mattie off of Matt's hands and said into his bluetooth, "Hey, Phai!"

"Yeah, he's got him. It's good. Okay. Love you." Matt disconnected the call and set his things down. Stevie was settling the other boys into the pillow fort as Matt looked around for Sam.

Sam was in the yard, cleaning up. "Yo, Sam…" Matt said. Sam dropped all of the trash that he had been holding. "Surprised you didn't hire a crew for cleaning this up."

"We've had enough strangers here to operate the rentals. Now that they're all gone, we've had numerous security walkthroughs. Just to make sure that everyone's kids are safe tonight. Living like we're in the mafia is so unsettling. Stevie promises that we can let up on the security soon."

"Trust that. I didn't really approach you to talk about the clean up, though… I'm surprised that you allowed Cheri, of all people, plan a party on your property." Sam chuckled. "I actually came over to say… I don't blame you, anymore. Yeah, you were old enough to know better. You made decisions that fucked me up… But, who can say that they came up with people like the man that held us hostage in that house and that they came out good? Nobody but you and Stevie, at this point - as far as I can see."

"Nobody turns out good. We're all just sinners, either doing our best, or living however we feel like we have to…"

"Nobody turns out good, but… I grew up with the finest things and the best parents. I was raised on respectability and elitism. I thought I could be the first black President. Not in a 5 year olds are so imaginative way. But by the time I was 12, I started trying to work on my political career."

Sam laughed, "I don't find that surprising, at all."

"I think that I would be a different person, if I still had my family. If that night never happened. I think I would be successful, probably even happy, _healthy,_ as well. I think I could have been a person that the world would have wondered, "Does he ever have a bad day?" Sometimes, I feel like I was robbed of that. Sometimes, I think - I should just get back on that track. But, if it hadn't happened… If I was that man instead of who I am, hundreds of families might have not received support for their injustices, thousands of mothers might have struggled more just to take care of their kids. Countless cases may have never been heard of or fought for. I guess I'm saying, whatever we turn out to be, whether it's what we imagined or worked for, can still be great. Sometimes, we go through shit to come out greater. Have you met the first black President? I mean, he was likable, but he left much to be desired as it relates to helping out our communities. So, I'm not saying that I'm better, but I've done more that I can be proud of if I had to be subjected to something like the burden of running a broken country with busted foundation. I'm relieved that I didn't achieve my dream of being the first black president."

"I don't know what to say."

"Right now, you're just listening. From what I've been told, since you were freed, you wanted to be this savior for Stevie. You thought you let him down and steered him wrong and needed to fix it. The more you worked towards that, the more fucked up your relationship was, and now, you're living in the same house, ready to die and kill for each other, and working constantly to keep your collective family safe. It didn't happen like you wanted it to, or like you worked on. But you got your family back and they're safe. You… don't have to chase missions to make things right for him. He is who he believes he's meant to be. Fund a recovery, okay. Please don't… bring those kids into your family's lives. Just my two cents."

"I appreciate advice from one of the most sensible people that I've ever met… But, the family decided. We want to try to stop them from becoming the kind of people who fucked up your life… for whoever they meet in their future. We foiled that reimagining, but we want to make sure that they never try to create their own like scenes."

"It took a lot of therapy for me to peacefully work alongside Stevie. I don't think any therapy is going to allow me to let Mattie around those boys. I want to continue being Stevie's friend, but I can't let my son be around people like that, no matter how young."

"That's fair. We're considering only letting them come to stay if more events like this go well. Sort of like when Stevie was institutionalized, where we visit and keep up with them, then when and if they're ready, they can come home."

There was a pause. Sam shuffled, "Have you ever thought about us doing that? The therapy, sorting through what I've done to you, like you and Stevie did. I just know how important you are to Stevie and you're important to this whole family, really. I really want it to be possible for you and I to have peace between us, some day."

"I think that perhaps you should consider some therapy for yourself. Sure, you get your philosophy from the church, but plenty of church folk still need a psychologist. Andrea once told me (as a Bible School dropout, of course) that sometimes, it's not that the Lord is working in mysterious ways, but that His people have tried to put His work in a box, or more accurately, a book. She said, "If God did all these things in the span of time that the Bible takes place, as a believer, how do they keep presuming that He just stopped speaking and stopped working for 2000 years?" The short answer is that y'all don't always listen, because you expect Him to communicate in a different way."

"I believe in therapy. I've seen it help plenty of people."

"So.. what… you just think that God wasn't interested in you getting some?"

"I talk to Joe."

"Joe is excellent. But, he's also family. You should talk to someone who doesn't love you, who is there to help your health without favor or bias… and maybe. Maybe, we could eventually talk about us."

Sam nodded his head and smiled. "Come with me. I have something for you." Sam took Matt inside and went into a small lock box, withdrew a piece of wadded up paper. "I still think that you should have this. It's my show of faith. It's my promise.. not to ever bring you danger or trouble again." Matt recognized the journal confession and accepted it. "Things will never be right between us. But, at least you should have leverage, if I ever mess up again."

"Okay. I'll be back to get Mattie tomorrow." Sam almost reached out for a hug, but Matt abruptly turned and left.

.

Tina's girls weren't fond of the place, yet (and were even less excited because Beth would only be there during summer breaks and certain weekends), but they wanted to make the most of it, especially since finding out all of Tina's baggage. They just wanted to be helpful. Besides, they still had Rose and Becca, and they had them more than when they lived in Hawaii. In fact, they were now closer to most of their family that only ever got to visit.

Tanisha woke up everyday earlier than Dwight, sometimes out of the nightmare of losing him, then cuddling into him with relief, sometimes in just enough time to study what his body had become in the past few months. She studied his scars, his aging, his weight loss… He was still 100% beautiful, just changed.

Cheri began sleeping in her own bed again. Sometimes, Stevie got up early to work. Sometimes, he slept for most of the day. He was clearly depressed, but also still very committed to finding enemies, despite the fact that they seemed to have been erased or went underground.

Jake and Bree planned a wedding. They were committed to Autumn, but were partial to Spring (ultimately deciding on Autumn, because Spring was too close to Stevie and Cheri's events - birthdays and anniversary, Valentine's Day & St. Patty's). It would simply be too much, especially with their contract being negotiated. For the cohabitation ceremony, they were considering summer of the following year. Cheri had numerous outfits to consider… even though they repeatedly told her that they all believed it should be a small ceremony. People were going to be confused enough…

Stacie and Joe prepared for the little girl that they recently discovered would be joining them. Joe worked at the church a lot, but still made sure that he worked on the nursery too. Community center projects were now overseen by the deacons, only brought to Joe for important decisions that they couldn't agree on. He did a lot of work trying to help rebuild a bigger and better church for his grandfather, who would actually be finally passing the mantle on to Joe's dad once the edifice was completed. Donations had been pouring in from all over, many specifically because people knew and loved Joe and wanted to help his family rebuild.

Jane safely brought Madonna into the world, got her tubes tied and bought another house to try to settle in. She fortunately hadn't unpacked most of her prized possessions from storage, since returning from Europe (mainly because in the beginning, she was unsure of whether or not it would be possible for her to truly come home), then the attacks began and she was working like Hustle Man. That she hadn't set her office up was the only positive thing about the tragedy. That De'Wanda had been crashing there was the worst part.

Mercedes went fully into her website and arrangements for her show, while Sam was heavy into the spiritual center and foster care protocols. The two of them were flourishing, spiritually and romantically.

Their communication was back in a natural flowing and fitting groove. It had been for a while, but now that neither was actively worried about being attacked again, it was less tense. (Having Quinn and Tina back didn't hurt at all, either).

Renewing their old time practices, with some moderation for their new lifestyles was a fun and easy transition. They did their exercising individually, washed up, met up for their coffee, out in Quinn's pond patio - she had a pond with a waterfall, and a patio built around it. It was actually an idea that she had stolen from Joe, whenever they were close, but she hadn't been able to do it until now. He'd already assured her that he would be coming over quite regularly to enjoy it. Upon learning that, Dwight promised to put one in their yard as well, and vowed that it would be bigger and better than Quinn's. In fact, he was going to put in a water garden, with the bridge to it at the mausoleum.

The thing was so peaceful and beautifully arranged, that everyone in Quinn's family enjoyed it. Then there were bird feeders and birdbaths set up, as well - QUinn realized that she enjoyed birdwatching (after she didn't see nearly as many birds at her condo) . It made for a rather stuck up morning coffee, but Quinn had embraced her bourgeois side a lot more since moving to Washington, so this was simply her returning to her purest form of snobbery.

They would then go have breakfast at a quaint little cabin/restaurant that Tina accidentally found and fell deeply in love with the crepes. Multiple mornings, ladies from POM would meet up with them. Eventually, it became only Santana, Lauren and Becky, as everyone else found other jobs and scheduling became less doable. The POM owners were also doing some additional work while they awaited getting POM redone, but they were going to be moving to a different location. They were actually going to try to get some property in the same neighborhood. In the meantime, working at the bed and breakfast was enough to pull them through until all of that happened. Lauren doubled at a clothing store, admitting that it wasn't nearly as fun as Magic Mirror.

Nobody had heard from Kurt, but Rachel and Finn had moved to Wisconsin, so everybody knew that was where they had gone off to, too. Shelby and Shannon came whenever they found out that Dwight was "back from the dead," but they were very silent on whether or not they had spoken to Kurt and Blaine, or where they were. Instead, they focused on how everyone was starting to feel like things were normal again and that perhaps Kurt might come back home, some time after everything honestly seemed over with.

.

Months passed, and events came and went, with celebrations observed and gatherings held: Brittany, Mason, Joe and Tina all had birthdays, with accompanying parties… Though Brittany's party was more like a rave, Mason's party an elegant dinner evening, Joe's a church concert, and Tina's a hangout with lots of booze and chocolate, and Halloween, which turned out to be quite the fiasco as living in the same house, but having certain children allowed to go trick or treating while other children were taken to a fun activity night at their dad's church and only given a specific amount of candy. Plus, Tina and Quinn's girls had Halloween _parties_ to attend, which simply made Tina nervous and she spent the entire time eyeballing kids, to be sure they didn't try anything funny with her girls. It was embarrassing to them.

All of the yard additions were completed - the water garden (an absolute paradise for Joe and Stacie, and definitely where she intended to take her maternity photos), the fruit trees planted (to Mercy and Sam's great delight), the mausoleum, with all of the photos that they had of all of the dogs over the years framed and placed inside, the kid's playground, Stacie's garden, most of the luxury treehouse, and the kid's clubhouse.

"How do we still have ROOM in this yard?" Bree asked, as they headed for the water garden seats to finish up the plans for the next upcoming events: Thanksgiving and Mama T's 50th birthday party. Dwight gathered with Bree, Cheri, Jake, Mason, and Marley for this. Meanwhile, the others were doing all their own things.

Dwight replied, "I made sure that I bought enough land to expand outwards, tried to estimate how much space I would need for the number of yards that we'd have if we lived in different places, so that things wouldn't get too cluttered."

He had gradually gained some memories, but sometimes, he didn't know how much of it was real and how much of it was just his imagination, trying to piece together possibilities. He still had all of his plans for his wife's birthday, so that was good, and now he had the best party planning committee in the family, except for Stacie, who was on and off bedrest and honestly grateful that she hadn't enrolled in college this semester.

"This is so extravagant. Like, we could probably hold all kinds of events here, like issa venue," she said.

"We can hold _our_ events here," Dwight said, "Which… We have over the past few months." He had gotten back here after Charmaine and Sterling's (4th) birthday, which was actually Chuck E. Cheese production, because they were such simple kids, unlike their older twin siblings. Dwight had been learning about all of them in his free time, trying to recall or at least relearn everything about them. It was much easier with the wife. His phone was filled with photos, his social media pages were filled with posts, and there was plenty of records to tell him exactly what kind of relationship they had - from her comedy specials, to the cover songs that he made for her (some of those songs he either didn't even know, or actually hated, but realized that he must have covered them because she enjoyed them). The porn always triggered memories and emotions and whenever they started having sex again, he didn't even know HOW that would go. He wanted to make sure that her birthday was perfect. He also wanted to vocalize that he was ready for them to take their rekindling to the next level, on that night. Her birthday fell on a Thursday, though the party would be on the following Friday… and she was still surprisingly staying sober, though many of his plans involved drinking, something that she loved prior to all of the madness… So, they had to reboot everything that was alcohol related.

.

Sam and Mercedes took a trip to the sites where EvansStrong was working on rebuilding things, to make videos of the progress, speak to the foremen on site, and make sure that the working conditions were good and well. Some of the places were actually ready to go. For example, the new location for Pieces of Mercy, while funded by the company, needed very minimal work and was already being stocked with the merchandise that was paid for with the insurance money, and they changed the name of the shop to Phoenix Trinity Gifts = Rising from the ashes of the explosion, three women, still specializing in gifts. There were window paintings of phoenixes and inside of the place, the "life cycle" of a phoenix as the higher back wall mural. Money well spent, if you asked Sam.

Now, since they were back, Tina was even renting a room for Magic Mirror designs. She had a glass door with window paintings of herself and Kurt, despite his absence, with both of them holding a mirror up to each other. As soon as the cafe was up and running, Sam planned on being right here, at least twice a day.

The Harts' church was completed, and Sam was so impressed by how wonderful it looked. Of course, Stacie had been called back to do all of the decorating on the inside, even when she couldn't actively do it herself, Life Church's decorating committee met up with her for the tasks. This time, there was a gate put around the church, which they would close whenever there was nobody on the campus, or whenever someone was there, but working alone, etc. It felt a little bit sad for Joe's grandfather, who had always believed and practiced that the church should be open for anyone and everyone. He even kept a payphone right outside, with his home phone number on it and instructions to call him collect, if someone was in need and nobody was at the church. Eventually, it changed to an outside landline phone, which was simply cheaper as collect calls and pay phones were becoming obsolete and fees were crazy. Now, they were installing a "phone booth" outside of the gate, with a landline phone with Joe's father's cell phone number, for the same purpose… And quite frankly, that was the only way that he would agree to put up a gate around the church.

The community center was making great process. Artie and Shane met up with Sam and Mercedes to discuss that progress. The part that they were saddest about was the fact that they hadn't been able to salvage nor replace Puck's Memorial room, considering that most of the decorum of it was art and dedications from the children that had known him back then. Many years had passed, several of those kids were grown and most of them didn't keep in touch. So many memories were lost and honestly, for Shane, it felt like losing one of his best friends, all over again. They would definitely create another memorial for him, but it wouldn't be the same. Meanwhile, they had been bussing their usual kids (who were allowed to continue dealing with them) to a different center, further away, temporarily defeating the "community" of it all, but wanting the children to still have access to the types of resources and activities available.

Shane was keeping a positive attitude about everything, but honestly vexed that his community center was _still_ a target, despite being pretty far removed from any of the activity with the people who hated Sam and his family. So, maybe it was his connection to and work with Matt, but Sam wasn't gonna be the one to point that out. Instead, he wished him well and spoke with the foreman about the timeline of it getting done.

The old Rutherford house was merely a condemned destruction site, for the moment. They didn't go there to even glance at it. Instead, he went to the location of the clinic. He was the most excited about this. The church board was still conducting interviews out of the church, but he had almost gotten all of the permits, licenses, etc needed to start this place. He gave Mercedes the tour.

"This is the foyer. We have a front desk, two stairwells, an elevator in the center, and this is where most of the offices are. We've already gotten contracts drawn up for an ordained preacher for spiritual leadership, guidance, and counseling, a spiritual therapist, a religious cognitive emotional therapist, a psychiatrist, a holistic therapist, and an ethics specialist who are interested in helping this place come to life."

"Are they all the same person and is that person Joe?" Mercedes asked. Sam laughed.

"Yes and yes!" He chuckled, "No, but Joe definitely has an office here and will be an advisor and supervisor. His office and mine are upstairs. But, passing through the corridor, we have the wellness center, with exercise and meditation, the prayer nooks, and solitude rooms, then when we leave the corridor, we have the chapel."

"The chapel is simply a chapel, or do you have some kind of new age twist to it?" She wondered.

"It's a chapel. There's a pulpit, an altar, and pews. It's very plain, so there are no distractions. There will always be an audio Bible playing when the building is open." He took her out of the chapel and back up the stairs, "Up here are the intercession centers and the crisis line. The intercession centers will have someone available at all times to pray with whoever needs it, and if they're busy, there are phone cubicles here, which will have a number that they can call for prayer hotlines. In addition, I also have a round table with multiple phones, in the next room for whenever someone calls in to this building needing help. The operators will be able to direct their call as needed, or will speak to them, if that's all that they need. We're definitely going to make sure that everyone is trained and not launch the programs until then, but I think it will be great for the community and for Christians who just sometimes don't feel like they've gotten what they needed out of their church. This is like a church, but for people who feel like they've tried everything that God has said and are still struggling.

And, we'll _have_ church services here. I'll get different preachers, those who are called to preach, but don't have their own churches to run, those who haven't yet been able to preach before, and things like that. I'll look over their sermons prior, and they'll have church services in the chapel."

He guided her further down the hall. "This is the admittance wing. There are rooms for people to check themselves in, get with an advisor on the spiritual health plan that's right for them, then much like checking themselves into a mental health clinic or a medical hospital for a procedure or certain treatment, we admit them here and they work with the recommended staff on the spiritual conditioning that they seek or need. On the other side is the cafeteria."

"So, this is like a multifunctioning private practice office combined with a church," she said. Because, quite frankly, Sam had been trying to explain this thing to her for months and it sounded good, but she still was struggling to think of what this place actually _was._

"Yeah, pretty much. It is a church with therapy and wellness attached to it."

"So, it only works for Christian people, like with church, like with our church?"

"We won't turn anybody away, but we will let them know during the first sit down that all of our practices are for Christian spiritual depth and growth. We're employing an all Christian staff, and it will be commonplace for the staff to begin the day with a prayer, and it will be encouraged for everyone to make time to pray daily, throughout the day. It's like a medical center, but with prayer and scripture as the foundational healing."

"Okay! I think I've finally gotten this! Oh, Baby… I'm so proud of this idea."

"I wanna start with everyone who gets hired to take the assessment that Joe and several professionals have put together to determine spiritual gifts and spiritual gags. It basically assesses the belief system, the knowledge of the Word, of principles and practices, and the application of each to your life. We'll all take these, churn out our individual spiritual conditioning plan, then see it through. It's basically like a training workshop, but to make sure that all of us are where we need to be spiritually, before trying to guide anybody else. In that time, we'll definitely be promoting the place and what it can do, but we won't even set an open date until the staff has had the chance to try it out, first."

"You're just overflowing with good ideas. You want to come on my show and discuss this?"

"You know that I definitely do!" He cheered. "Also, it's been a while since Stevie found anything or anybody out there. I think… We might be able to relax. What say you?"

"I think that the idea that Mama T blurted out at dinner, that Cheri needed to try to get back into the reality TV game and we bring the cameras into House Evans to show everybody how Evans strong we really are was an amazing idea…"

"I _hate_ reality tv!"

"I _also_ think that if we did fo that… It would be much easier to bring the children into the house. There would always be cameras, so that if they ever thought of doing something that was plain illegal or their old brand of evil, the camera crew would have to interfere and stop it, because it would be a huge liability, if they didn't."

"It'd make it safer for everybody in the house and give the kids accountability to think about, knowing that they're being watched every second."

"Right," she said.

"And you said that _I_ have the good ideas!"

"To be fair, this is me piggybacking on Mama T's idea."

"And you're fair," he said and kissed her on the nose. "I was gonna try to pump some more babies into you, but… I think we'll have our hands full with the… what do we call them. I don't wanna be calling them fosters, even if they will be. I don't want to call them what Preston called them, definitely not. I don't want to just say "Stevie's kids," because I don't want to confuse neither his already being raised by him kids nor our kids, who will basically see us raising these kids."

"Just call them "our new kids," until it no longer applies, until they're simply "our kids."

He sighed, "Do… You think that this idea is as crazy an idea as I've ever had? I know that we decided as a family that if we could forgive me and Stevie for the things that we've done, we can forgive these kids who literally didn't really know any better, but… Is this completely freakin' stupid of me?"

"C'mon… You're asking a woman who let a stranger slash possible Nazi move in with her the day that she met him. You know it's all about the redemptions, baby, for me." He kissed her on the forehead.

"Lemme upload this progress onto the website, then we need to head back home. I might not be pumping any babies in you, but I'm definitely feeling a way from all this support I've gotten all day." She laughed to the sky and took his free hand. He squeezed hers. "It's really fine now, right? Like… Super fine. Good?"

She turned slightly in his direction and let him know, "I'm always convinced it's good. At least, since being married to you. Even when there were troubles, I always know that as long as we're in them together, it's really fine. Super fine."


	40. The Restitution

_I had so much trouble figuring out what I could take out and leave in, because I didn't want a 40 page chapter, but dang it. There was so much ground to cover and I didn't want to go beyond this, except for my epilogue, which will be the completion of this story. So, there are some details that I removed that will eventually be covered in the spinoff stories, aesthetics on mysamcedesmadness tumblr blog, and if there are any drabble requests for Look on the Bright Side, I will accept those both here and on Tumblr, and try to complete them. Thank you for taking the journey with me, and if this didn't reach your expectations, sorry in advance. I pray that you find something else that you actually love. I have overthought and overthought this chapter and I did my best. That's all I can give. Goodnight._

 **The Restitution**

PickMason sales boomed after the explosion, "Pun intended only to laugh to keep from crying," Mason would say whenever asked about it. He and Jane still had a lot of savings, just in case. With De'Wanda gone, Jane became sole owner of the FortSWAH company, but Mason's was supporting the family. Jane kept away from too much drama, and decided that her online activism would have to be just that. She was no longer up for rallies and marches. She still boycotted where needed, donated where she believed, and worked from home on projects for Matt, Stevie, and Mercedes, sometimes.

The twins were set to go to elementary school, but she chose to homeschool them instead. With the Secretary of Education, she just didn't feel like having to reteach everything that she could imagine that they might learn in school. So, she took it upon herself to make one of the rooms into their classroom, and she and Mason would teach them, themselves, complete with real life/real world history and ethics.

By Thanksgiving, she and Mason hosted it at their house, and Mason invited his parents. After everything that happened, he didn't _forgive_ their politics, but he hoped that they would at least see that there were not only problematic elements to many of their beliefs, but also dangerous ones. The Haywards and the McCarthys had not been in the same celebration for over five years, but Jane figured if Dwight could open his home to a platoon of miniature Nazis that worked for his captors, she could possibly take a few hours of probable tension while Mason tried to see if he could let his parents back in his life again.

She and Cheri were keeping up with each other's stories for the day, having agreed that they would, and that way, it was like they were spending the day together, too.

.

Whenever Matt came into town, Stevie left the house to go see him. There was no way to get Matt to come to the house with the kids now living there. Usually, Matt and family stayed at Jane's whenever they came through, so sometimes, Stevie and Cheri would bring Sherwood and Sheva to make it a family thing, (seldomly bringing their other kids, as to not alienate Cheri's non-biologicals too much), but they did have to bring their other kids sometimes, because Cowboy, Sterling and Charmaine deserved to be able to see their Uncle Matt and Auntie Phai, too. Matt seemed so happy and healthy, so they all thought that it was likely a front, but he insisted that was simply his pleasure in "Having a girl by next October and being able to go ahead and cut out all the baby-making parts."

"At two?" Cheri wondered.

"I know it's hard for you to believe this, but two is actually ideal for a lot of people," Aphasia said, laughing.

"But, what about when you want another little love to love on?"

"Then, we get a puppy," Matt told her. "If that ain't enough, a kitten. Try everything once."

Jane happily insisted, "Tell them her name! Tell them her name!"

Matt smirked and said, "Miracle Rutherford II." Jane squealed. "I took a cue from Jane. Our scions are royalty, and my little sister has been a big part of my life, even after she was gone. I wanted to honor her." Cheri teared up.

Matt had gotten multiple book deals, including Finally Over, which was already a best seller, In the Beginning (Matt's side, the true story of the Rutherford-Schuester War), and The Book of Matthew (the working title) an autobiography that he was still trying to work on. He had already told Stevie that any movie or series that he would want to sign on for - he would want Stevie to work on the screenplay, and Stevie asked if Jake would be able to play him. That was acceptable to Matt.

Jane was thinking about trying to get a Montessori school opened up. She had already looked into it, but wanted to make sure that Madonna had gotten through most of her early life milestones before moving forward. So, she was spending more time figuring out what she would call it and where it would be located. Aphasia wanted to help her out with it.

In the meantime, Phai organized the first in a while Black Elites of Ohio Spring Gathering to reintegrate the Rutherfords with other families, and get several donations for Ruthless Revolutionaries Inc. Organization, in the process. During this, Cheri reintegrated herself, as well. It hadn't been as long of a time that she appeared in public, at an upscale engagement, as a member of the Robinson family. Of course, it had been longer since Matt had been a part of all of this, and his uncle's family had left Ohio shortly after the trials of the murderers. But, for the sake of bringing together Rutherfords, Haywards, Robinsons and Cohens - even his grandparents showed themselves again. Matt had stayed away from most of them, worried that his mission would endanger them, just as his father's work endangered their house. After _Finally Over,_ he reached out to them and reconnected with all of his remaining kinfolk that he had only called from time to time, over the years and hardly visited.

.

Stacie created a pregnancy scrapbook for Josefina. It had the pregnancy test, announcement, gender reveal stationary & photos, snapshots of artwork that each member of her family painted on her belly afterwards, her favorite being just her belly with "To Josefina, With Love," and signed by everyone. (She also made that into a maternity T-shirt), and planned on getting a dress done for when it was time for her maternity photos. Honestly, she was eating, breathing, and sleeping _finally_ being a mommy. To the point that Joe had to try to remind her that she could be a mommy and still be all of the other things that she intended to be, especially since he was still going to be other things, too. "I don't want you to become one of those women who looks back at her life and feels like she gave everything up for her family. Not when I'm here to make sure that you get to do it all, if that's what you want." And that _was_ what she wanted, but… She hadn't _had_ to work in a while, and even when she was working, it was generally things she wanted to do. She wanted to help the world through environmental science, but she was already doing a lot, through her ministries and her family… Honestly, she was so tired of obligations that she set forth for herself. Why not… just mommy? She sighed.

Wouldn't she be a complete hypocrite if she went back to school and went forth with her career? After all of the fuss that she put up when Cheri "moved" to California to work on The R Word? After _insisting_ that it was unfair for the children to have to travel back and forth, not have a regular school with regular friends, and spend hours with a nanny when their mom didn't have to work…? Of course she would be! But, that was simply her making an excuse not to finish school, and not to work, at least on the career that she had been working towards, because it might take too much of her baby's time away from her. But, she felt like the joy of this baby should have been excuse enough. "Hey, Cheri… I'm sorry for… The things that I said, whenever you went to work. I can't remember whether or not I've apologized. It wasn't fair, to you. You've always handled so many terrible things with so much grace…"

Cheri cackled and when she caught her breath, patted her on the shoulder. "Oh, Stacie. You're so funny. Happy Thanksgiving, Sis," then, she went on with her day, or at least she tried to.

.

Jake proposed the idea at a family meeting, that they should bring all nine of the children in, if any (not just the five that Sam could budget for), and offered to take the other four into his children's room, since he and Bree weren't planning on having any, any time soon.

Sam was the foster parent and would be on all of the paperwork, but the children would all be able to be in the same home, at least and not forced to have to split up. When and if the subject of adoption came up, the family would discuss that, as well. The weeks at the juvenile center, then at the group home, seemed to have calmed them down, some. Then again, they might have simply had great resolve. They were basically raised in what read as boot camp, as the counsellors went over their file with Sam. But, he honestly felt like he was making connections with all of them, and Jamie in particular was showing huge promise, albeit… Only with Cheri.

Bree felt a way about Stevie letting Sam raise his white kids, but didn't support Stacie possibly supporting their possible kid; but she got over it pretty quickly. After all, his wife and other kids were black, but then that might have meant that he just didn't want _her_ to be his baby's mom, and THAT didn't make sense, because now they were whatever they all were, and she honestly just had to tell herself to suck it up and move on. Besides, it meant that she might wind up "with" fourteen children, in the event that Stevie took them in. And… gross. That felt like a deal breaker, ESPECIALLY if they made it back to NYC. It did bring up the conversation of Stevie getting a vasectomy, which he had not considered before, and even Cheri was diligently against prior to the discovery of all of these other children. Now… him having ANY more just seemed like overkill. BUT, Cheri asked him to freeze some sperm, just in case. She MIGHT want another pregnancy eventually, and what if Jake was shooting blanks? Honestly, he wasn't about safety in his relationships - not with Bree, Cheri, Madison, or Marley… and none of them, but Bree had gotten pregnant during the course of said relationship (and when Bree got pregnant, it was after she started up with Stevie).

Now, Stevie was fixed and any pregnancy that Bree might have would be Jake's, unless they were separated from their couple and she got careless with someone else in the process.

In the upcoming year, the 21st of September was on a Saturday, so that was the day that Bree and Jake selected for their wedding. And yes, September was going to be what they played for their first dance, (they decided on September 21st, when all the annual memes were going around). They currently had an agreement with Cheri and Stevie in documents, that they all added to. They didn't want to set their ceremony until after Jake and Bree were married. But, they wanted a good, even printout to sign, eventually. So, they figured that after the holidays, they'd clean it up, make it clear, articulated etc and each sign it. It would still be temporary, but they wanted to do it, and they wanted to see through their first "holidays" together to determine if they really wanted to try to do this mess for an extended period of time.

The bed in Stevie's chambers had been upgraded to an all-in-one double bed super king size with massage, recliner, speakers, and storage safe. It made it so much easier for the four of them to avoid leaving their room. And honestly, even when they were decent, the kids could and would come crash in there and watch movies. The whole family could fit, snuggled into this bed, though generally, if the kids were in, Jake and/or Bree took the recliner of the bed.

.

To prepare for the holiday, whenever they were first brought to the house to stay, Cheri brought them with her when she went clothes shopping. Sam wanted to, but she indignantly insisted, "They're Stevie's kids, I'm his wife, and you can barely dress _yourself_. Look at what you got on, even right now. I'm taking these kids to the store and getting them not only holiday appropriate stylish attire, but some other clothes as well, because your children be looking like Mercedes picked out their outfits. I'm not trying to be mean." Sam was annoyed, but after Charlize asked him if he didn't _trust_ Cheri to take them, he backed down. He wasn't sure that she could handle them on her own, so she agreed to only bring them and leave hers home with Jake and Bree.

So, she tasked Jamie, with the sweetest smile, and her hands gently on his shoulders, fearlessly and kindly, "When we go to the store, please help me keep your siblings in order. Can you do that?" He stared at her like she was an apparition, and Lord, if she had ever second guessed that this was Stevie's child, that would have been the sign, because she had seen that look plenty of times on an older version of the same face. He blushed, nodded his head, broke eye contact and spent the rest of the time doing just that, for her - beyond that day, as well. In fact, she was _the one_ person who didn't have any problems with him, ever. And when she had problems with any of the other ones, Jamie quickly got them together for her.

Both Stevie and Sam agreed - it read like a crush.

It didn't bother Sam. He was grateful to have someone that Jamie felt like he could reach out to, even if it wasn't ideal. Jamie was the one who received the most attention from Preston. He was the oldest. He was the best soldier. He was the least likely to turn over a new leaf, with or without Sam's interference. But, whenever Cheri was around, he seemed like a kid. He seemed like a pretty happy kid. She did have a way of cheering people up and cheering them on, and with children, well - she loved spoiling them as much as she loved spoiling herself.

Though, with Stevie, she jokingly called herself "Nazi Kryptonite." (Stevie didn't appreciate it, at all).

"Do you know how potentially terrible it can be for this kid to have this type of attachment to you? _I_ couldn't handle it, and I was 4 years older than him. _He_ certainly can't. This could really break him, especially while he's trying to figure out how to become a part of this family," Stevie developed himself an ulcer, and blamed this completely. God forbid that it was because he couldn't trust that he had found everyone responsible for hurting them.

"Stevie… Your kids are my kids. I'm gonna love them the way that I love our kids. I'm not treating them any differently, and I'm certainly not going to be less nice to the one kid that everyone else has the most problems with. Just trust with all of us here, they will have a foundation to rebuild themselves upon."

She insisted on getting as many photos as possible and uploading them to an online album. this was the biggest extended family gathering that they had ever had. even the members of the family who had married into the Evans and generally avoided such celebrations with them were there this year.

After all of the possible death to the attacks the treatment therapy the mourning and everything else, none of the past differences mattered. They wanted not to take for granted the time left with loved ones.

Most of them thought it was corny - to start growth charts at their ages, to be taking footprints to have, documenting "first steps into the most awesome park," because he didn't see their first steps, etc.

But, Sam and Cheri had gone so far as to create "announcements" for their _first birthday_ with the family, the time from the fostering to the adoption was when they were "expecting," and they took expectation photos in one color, and adopted photos in a another. (This was done for all the children, at Cheri's suggestion). Sam took on the bulk of the emotional labor, Cheri took on the bulk of the physical labor, and Mercedes and Stevie touched base, in jest, on how they were basically support to their spouses "raising a bunch of kids together."

.

Thanksgiving could best be described as logistically unsound. For one thing, the kitchen, as big as it was, was not some cafeteria kitchen. Quinn separated cooks and dishes among the Evans, Fabray and Chang kitchens. She scheduled the times, according to which appliances were needed, suggested preparations times, how many people could fit according to both those things, and when and where would the dinner be used. Because most of them had multiple stops to make. Quinn's mother and sister would bring their families to her house, but afterwards, she and the kids would be going to the Andersons. Tina's family would be at Quinn's then go to the Changs.' After that, Tina, Quinn and their households were going to wind up at the Evans house.

For the Evanses, there was so much to be thankful for this holiday that they were going to be doing a very large, gathering including the Harts, the Robinsons, Tanisha's family, Bree's family, and the children. Since September, Sam had been gradually allowing the children to visit, until they were finally released into his custody for foster care, shortly after Halloween. Sam, Stevie, or both of them generally kept their eyes on them at all times. Dwight actually avoided them for a while.

Now that the holiday was here, the men helped the boys to get dressed as Bree and Cheri threw a primping party for the girls. Charlize had not really had anybody to do dress up stuff or get pretty with. She was one (the oldest of them) of only four girls in their previous group of sixteen, the only one who made it out of Preston's scheme alive, and none of them were ever encouraged to do anything but learn to keep house and fight. Bree made her look and feel like a princess and the clothes that Cheri bought her were some of the prettiest clothes she had ever owned. After they finished with the girls, they made sure that Mercedes was on point, too.

Sam bothered her about dressing the kids "like they were a part of her household." True, she, Stevie, Jake and Bree were garmented in gold and the children in yellow, while Sam, Mercedes and their kids were in orange, but she had made sure to accentuate Mercedes with some gold, and whenever they took "household" photos, it was going to match! Ugh. She thought all of this out, already. _Stevie's_ kids should be dressed like the rest of his kids. So, Charlize had on sunflowers and the boys were in yellow or autumn gold, while Sam's kids were in orange… And if she was being mean, she would have pointed out… Not even complimentary oranges. Heaven had on neon. He was gonna ruin _anybody's_ photos, all because his daddy was too proud to let her style him. DESPITE THE FACT that she had the eye for fashion, she'd worked at Magic Mirror before, and she had impeccably styled them at times that Mercedes was too busy to order a stylist! She slid over in between Stevie and Jake and whispered, "Living with him, I _see_ why y'all don't like your brother."

Jake laughed, but Stevie just kissed her on the forehead, "Be nice, as you told me for nearly a decade."

"Coming at me about not doing my share of chores is one thing, but dressing kids stylishly? _Nobody_ has the right!"

"So sensitive about fashion," Jake mused.

"It ain't cute," Stevie said, rolling his eyes, but still smiling. She was only joking, She adored Sam. They had gotten super close in their overzealous child-rearing, even making lunch dates to create a monthly calendar of all of the kids' events, appointments, activities, schedules, and where they could fit in playdates, practices, training, off days, etc. They contacted each other _any time_ that it changed.

.

Thanksgiving Night, Tanisha was extremely feeling a way… She had no idea that Dwight was planning on trying to woo her in another week, for her birthday and this made for now five months without sex. She wanted to be as patient as it took, but everybody around her seemed to be getting out of life exactly what they wanted and deserved. Why not her? This half life that she was living, not having her husband in every way… She couldn't do that, not drink, and also be calm and happy. So, she wore an enticing little number to bed, snuggled up to him and a few kisses later, it was ON. She could have kicked herself. That meant that all she had to do was let him know her legs were open and she could have had her man as soon as she had him back!

Another thing that she didn't expect, whenever he was inside of her, holding her closely, he remembered…

She whimpered, "God, I feel so safe when I'm in your arms," into his ear… which reminded him of the last thing that he had said to her. _Be safe._

"Be safe…" he repeated, as he remembered. He stopped and stared at her. "Oh, God…"

She rocked against him, because this stopping thing wasn't her, but he pulled out and withdrew, suddenly terrified. "No, no, no…" He held his head. "I left you. I had to leave you, but…"

"Dwight?" She crawled over to him and gently touched his shoulder. "You're remembering that night?"

He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head, "It's like I woke up, finally. Like, I've been dreaming for three months, and I just woke up and everything is flooding into my mind." She wrapped and arm around him and kissed him on the side of the head. "I was in so much pain, but I needed to know that you were okay. I worried for what felt like hours. When I finally saw the medics, I sent them to you. I hoped that somebody would come back and tell me that you made it, but I was more afraid that they might be too late. I didn't have any goddamn sense of time. I'd stepped on bottle fragments, gotten set on fire, and shot - twice… I was bleeding out and my skin was seared. I felt like death would be beautiful, but I tried to make it… Just to know that you made it. Then, I couldn't anymore. I guess that was about when I must have went into shock. The next thing that happened…" He retreated into the memory.

 _He was lying down and in pain, suddenly awake, but he kept trying to ask if his wife was okay. He could hardly see, but heard a lot of bickering. "We can't let him die. The boss will kill all of us if we don't deliver him."_

" _Is my wife okay? Did you save her?"_

" _You went to medical school! Do something!"_

" _I'm doing everything that I can. We just need to keep him alive long enough to get him to the Doc!"_

" _My wife…" He howled in pain when someone cauterized the gunshot._

" _How the fuck do you know that he don't have a bullet in there? He could get an infection, and still can die!"_

" _Doc! We need you!"_

" _What the hell happened? Preston will have all your heads!"_

" _You gotta save him!"_

" _Please. Please. Somebody… My wife…"_

" _She's gone, Loverboy. So are your kids, grandkids, your dogs, the whole fuckin' gang..."_

"I blacked out, and whenever I woke up, I was in some kind of jerry rigged operation room with Preston and, and… THOSE KIDS! And, I had erased all of this. My mind had jumped from the shooting at the theater and then. I guessed that I had gotten shot at the theater, taken and tortured. I didn't even remember the Tennessee house, at all. It's all coming back to me, now. Like… like the whole reason that I blocked it all out was because that fear and possibility of losing you… That was what broke me. I thought that I lost you, so I repressed you…" He started crying and she adjusted herself to where she could embrace him, completely. "It's like I just gave up on you. I thought that you were dead and my solution was to just believe that we never even happened?"

"No. Your mind couldn't handle the thought of your family being dead. You said that he told you that everyone was gone, not just me. And, it sounds like your mind just couldn't handle that. So, to try to protect you from that trauma, it repressed some time, for you. Whenever I lost you, I handled it in such a worst way… But, you remember us, now?"

"I… think I remember everything. Like, that particular night had closed off a fountain, and when it was released, everything started flowing…"

She sighed, cupped his face and told him, "Well, then - that's what matters. I have you back, I'm here, not dead, and you're with your family again." She kissed him and pulled him back on top of her, "And your wife loves you more than anything and wants you more than anything…"

So, for the next week, everyone kept asking him questions, to convince themselves that he was really, fully back. It was amazing. She had been thankful to have his body back, but by her birthday, she honestly now didn't have any wish. That was her wish - that he could actually return to her. She had been running the construction company, but was more than happy to give him back all of that. But, she wasn't interested in returning to comedy.

For on thing, she would have to travel and she barely knew how to leave the property, these days. Her grief had made her a homebody. Her stint in rehab was contained. Getting back, she was a total recluse, and the few times that she headed off of the property, she was filled with anxiety. Who could know who would be out there? To help her overcome that fear, Dwight took her on a camping trip, to a cabin, but still camping. She had asked him to go before he got his memory back (hoping to help bring more of him out of himself) and while he was elated to have a wife who wanted to share that with him, it had made him depressed that he couldn't remember that part of her yet and declined.

When they were at the cabin, she relaxed more. Somehow, being away from everyone and everything, with him there with her, she felt tremendously secure. "I want to try to do something other than comedy shows. I claimed to take a break from it, but I think with everything that's happened, any fans that I did have should understand why I won't return to it."

"It was never your idea, anyway. Marley pushed you to try, because you always made everybody around you laugh. What is it that you think you would have wanted to do, instead?"

"We've had this conversation before," she said.

"I know. You weren't sure back then and ended up deciding, 'Might as well do what I'm good at, since I have no idea what I love, besides drinking and screwing you,'" he imitated a woman's voice, but it sounded nothing like hers. She just laughed. "So, now that you're free to do whatever you want and have enough backing you to go in any direction you choose, is there something that you love to do that people might pay you for?"

"No. I love to spend time with the grandkids, I'm gonna spend a lotta time screwing you," he chuckled and kissed her shoulder, "But, I was thinking maybe open up a place, like that place that the kids go to do karaoke."

"The Hall. That used to be Coach's. It was Shannon's place. She sold it after her and Emma split up. You wanna buy it from that guy?"

"No, I don't want THAT place, but something maybe like it. I don't know. Because if I had something like that, would I be chill around alcohol? Like… I notice that some of the kids will bring some into the house and make quick work of hiding it, so I'm not tempted or whatever, but… I drank for 20 years, and didn't get myself into any trouble. The only thing that made drinking bad for me was losing you. I mean… It got seriously bad, like I could have died bad, but…"

"I always wondered what your kidneys and liver was gonna end up like, if I can be frank…"

"Um, no, you _can't_ be frank, ever. Gotta be something, be earnest. He never fucked me over." She winked at him. "I just miss morning mimosas and afternoon daiquiris, and evening wine. I miss having a beer sometimes, and nights of whiskey. I miss feeling relaxed, even when my life was not entirely great. I miss feeling an extra little cheer, even when my life was pretty damn good. I miss drunk sex." He laughed. "I mean, I think I could handle a social drink or two."

"Yeah, I think you can, too. I also think you could handle going back to how you were and if it makes you happy, I don't see why you shouldn't. Unless, of course, something else terrible happens. What if it's Jake next time? What if it's one of the kids? Would you be able to get out of the bottle?"

She cleared her throat and changed the subject, "Anyway, I was thinking a bartender, but I should probably put a pin in that. Maybe a bed and breakfast? Emma did pretty well with it, unless she was living off of something else. Maybe I could start a comedy club!"

.

As the Assistant Pastor, Joe spent a lot of time over the last several months basically being interim pastor while Sam dealt with so many other things. The church had been growing and was flourishing, and the times that he was able to visit his father's church showed that they were thriving, as well. But, by February 3rd, when Josefina Jolene Hart was born, he made it clear to Sam, Life Church, and the Christian Crisis Center that he was going to have to be a part time preacher, because he'd been ensnared in this virtually perfect new creature.

She started out bald, had traces of light brown fuzz, but it very quickly and clearly became thick dark curls. "How do these curly haired babies keep coming from Evans genes?" Tanisha asked, not letting go of the newest baby. "I mean, I guess because biracial kids often are, but Joe's only half Mexican, himself. Jojo's hair is thicker and curlier than Jake's, when he lets it grow out too much. At her age, he had half the hair, but even what he had was much thinner." Tanisha spent a great deal of time with Stacie while she was having an excellent time being a mommy.

Stacie had finally decided that she definitely would go back to school in the fall, but only if Mama T kept the baby when she was unavailable. Mama T raised Jake by herself, so she trusted her parenting more than anybody else in the family, even before they grew close through Dwight's temporary absence.

Stacie was a natural at this, though. Mama T repeatedly told her so. It was like she was meant to be a mother, all along. A natural, holistic mommy. Stacie became the first person in the family to get another dog since the tragedy. Six weeks after Josefina's birth, she purchased a blonde pomeranian girl who was born on the same day. "I had a twin, my whole life. Eventually, he didn't need me anymore and we grew apart. But, Josie will always need her sister. Because, she's a dog. And she'll always be here for you, because we're never letting her out of our sight."

Stacie dressed them alike, got matching harness and pet bag, and took both of them everywhere, with her. She was honestly terrified to ever leave Josie by herself, after what happened to their dogs in the bombing. Josefina loved the puppy. They got along swimmingly. Both were spoiled rotten and pampered by their mother, and as Stacie did her daily routine, she always had both of them nearby. Josie thought that she was the older sister, but technically, she was the smallest from her litter and Josefina was born hours before those puppies were. But, the girl was helpful. If Jojo was heading off of the mat, she warned Stacie, because she wasn't strong enough to stop her. Whenever Jojo had a bad diaper, Josie pawed at it relentlessly, telling Stacie that she needed a change.

Having a dog was a different experience for everyone else in the house. Cheri, of course avoided her, but sometimes threw on a mask and visited Jojo after Josie had been bathed. Stevie affectionately called her a rodent. Sam was indifferent to having a dog, but playful with her, because hell - she was cute. Mercedes found it difficult to bond with her. She'd had Kissy and Cluster for so long, and usually NEVER left them outside, even when they moved into the house and had a doggie mansion, she hadn't left them out there until it was time to retreat into the bunker, and now she could regret that decision for the rest of her life. Bonding with another dog seemed like betrayal, and maybe eventually she would feel differently about it, but for the time being, she fought the urge to love her.

.

Stevie rebuilt the Ranch, as planned. It was bigger, multipurpose, and better for everyone. Ghostskins Hunters Inc Headquarters and Rehabilitation & Rec Center were on the property. Sam's previous rehabilitation ministry via Life Church became an organization, absorbed as a GHI program. Stevie used the results as a litmus for who really wanted to change and who couldn't. He was still doing real estate work - he had to fund all these things, plus help take care of Bree and Jake while they were working less. It was a comfortable setup. Whenever he first found conspirators against them, he kept his promise to Mama T - shot them, burned them, but then, since his Happy Place was temporarily out of commission, he hid their bodies in the construction sites of the places that they had attacked whenever they were rebuilding.

Mama T was very helpful in making sure that nobody was on site whenever he needed to dispose of them, and after he was done, she made sure that he always had an alibi, just in case. She even keeps the offer open for him to use EvansStrongs assignments as a resource, if he ever needed to.

Meanwhile, he'd aired out Happy Place, cleaned it up as much as possible, discarded skeletal remains, and refurbished the place. Most of it was ruined in the fire, but he simply replaced a lot of the equipment and tools that he favored. His saddest loss was the wall of Happy Faces. The only thing he had now was an image of it, from the recording of Preston torturing him. Previously, he buried the bodies in the ground of the cells that the prisoner was killed in. He wanted to do the same moving forward. He took away the topsoil and brought in newer soil to replace it.

Dwight helped him to build a garage with a ramp inside that led underground, where he could park out of sight, and tunnel into the new Happy Place, instead of using the doorway in the office, although he did still have that. He made sure that his office was built over it, so that he could still have that option available.

Inside of the headquarters, there was the front desk, which was dedicated to Dani and had her name in a plaque and her photo front and center of the counter, bullet proof glass sheltering the counter, and doorways that led to the workroom and required a code to open.

The workroom was decorated with his favorite movie posters, had several cubicles, monitored by security cameras, and in the very back on the left side was the employee break room and on the right side was Stevie's office. Stevie's office had a framed, large photo of his old smileys wall from Happy Place of yesterday on the wall, and a scroll list of names of all of the victims of those associated with that.

The annex building was the rec center, with training grounds, a gym, games, a firing range, and outside was an obstacle course. It was similar to the camps he had gone to as a child, but for the other side. His family trained here, along with employees that wanted to work out or whatever. He and Cheri enrolled the children into Jane's Montessori school, the first chance that they got. She wound up calling it Essentials for Scions Montessori School, and it was spectacular, with Afrocentric decorum, Pan-African ideals and Black American interests. She'd felt like it was her calling, so most of her friends sent their children to her.

The family all decided to remain in the big house. Jamie had asked to move into Stevie's quarters, and even though he still was the most difficult of the bunch, they all eventually started coming around to being able to at least seem content. Most of them were abruptly put out of the private school that Sam sent them to, and wound up at Jane's school, instead. Chuck and Charlize were also expelled from there and had to enroll in a behavioral program and get homeschooled until they could respond better.

Stevie, Cheri, Bree, and Jake printed out and signed a temporary contract on January 1st. Bree and Jake got married September 21st. The following year, the four held their contract ceremony on July 25th, with all of the adults they lived with present, and all of Stevie's kids, because he wanted them there and to be able to answer any of their questions. They had plenty of them, too. Most of them were appropriate, at that.

Mercedes sighed a lot, not even sure why they invited her to this mess, and certainly in disagreement with bringing children into it. From what she understood, they each brought rings for each of the other couple, separate of their wedding rings, they made an official contract, and this ceremony was basically to declare in front of their family that they were in a polyamorous relationship that reads as unofficial polygamy.

But, it wasn't like we will share our wives for sex and fun. It was like, we are going to be four people, in one relationship, raising children and enriching our commitment to each other. Swingers were strange enough to her, but this was beyond the oddness of that. She had stopped speaking about the matter, because Jake kept accusing her of kinkshaming and poly erasure, which was annoying. It was none of her business, but she came here just in case they answered more questions about things that she didn't understand.

Stevie barely noticed. He was closer to his family than he had ever been, in his life. His wife was well. His love life and sex life were ideal. His therapy and medication was working. He hadn't found a link to their attacks in over a year. Finally, he was at peace.

.

Mercedes had been killing it on her new show _Babydoll Reps This_. She won her rights in court over _Blind Leading_ , so she was able to keep the model and the purpose of it, while being fully in charge of the content. She had guests, callers, emails, and sometimes a panel to discuss issues that mattered to her and sometimes stuff that simply entertained her. It worked because she did something that she loved and she had fun and was able to have the final say in decisions.

As a self made rule, she only used her actual friends' businesses as advertisements and sponsors, including the line of custom dolls that she began a company for - _Babydolls Rep This._ The dolls were made to accommodate and appeal to differently capable, different bodied people. Dozens of skin tones ranging from albino fair, to saturated melanin and every beige, tan, brown, and more in between were used. Multiple skin types, such as freckled, acne, vitiligo, surface burns, eczema and more were available. Several different journeys of life - wheelchair accessible, blind, deaf or hearing impaired with a hearing aid, prosthetic limbs, braces, glasses, and other variables were possible. Plus, there was an assortment of body types of real people, small and large. They weren't anatomically correct, unless specifically requested, but all of them could be custom ordered, with a backstory and photograph submitted. The backstory would be published in a way that is best for the doll owner. For instance, Mercedes' doll came with a certificate in Braille!

Every girl and woman in her family was given a doll for the first Christmas that she owned this company. Shane ordered several for the kids who regularly came to the community center. Every friend that she had got at least one for their daughters or themselves. If the show thing didn't workout, the doll thing was far more successful than she even imagined when she had the idea to put her name on.

As far as motherhood, she was a champion. She kept using all of her grace and mercy with the new children. The five that Sam was most eager to take in (the more troubled ones + Charlize) began the journey rejecting her and everything that she could possible want of them. The other four bunked in Jake's quarters, but Jake was hardly ever over there, so they frequently returned to Sam's, whenever they were confused, upset, or anything else in between. Mercedes and Sam had been the main force in most of their lives, to change. There were still some behavioral issues. How could there not be? But, despite that, she knew that in due time, they all would consider this home and consider them family.

.

Now, Sam ran the Christian Crisis & Spiritual Wellness Center and oversaw the rehabilitation program at GHI with Stevie, as well as pastoring his church, fostering 9 children, and adopting later on. The Christian Crisis Center worked our better than he thought, even with the high expectations that he had for it. Whenever he submitted himself into the program, the pastor on site would presume leadership of the building, so that he could peacefully recover his spirit without the obligations. It even worked out for the members of his family who weren't professed Christians.

The staff went the first round, as planned. Then, the family went the next round. After that, several curious friends entered the program. It honestly took off like one of those popular self-help trends. It became the center of the reality show about the Evans Village. The Center, the extended family under one roof, the different paths, and the foster children… That made for some of the most entertaining, if not draining programming on television. Sam hated reality tv, but the additional cameras could be good for things - things that maybe they might not have been told without them.

It took the new children less time to warm up to Sam than it did for them to warm up to Stevie, but all of them eventually become quite fond of Sam. There's simply something pleasant about him that feels good to their spirits, even though they had been raised to believe differently.

At first, everyone in the house was certain to lock the doors to their bedrooms at night, and double-checked that the kids had, as well. There was no need to play it sorry. Not all of the adoptions went through.

There were a few parents who came forward and insisted that their children had been taken away from them by Preston Schuester and that they didn't know where they were. So, the four that were contested had to be taken by the system until it was decided that they were allowed to go back to their mothers. It was extremely stressful for everyone, mainly the kids.

Jamie began asking to stay in the parental room at night, in Stevie's quarters. Even though he was the oldest, he was the most afraid of being taken by his mother. If she came for him, he knew that he would just be submitted right back into the program. Stevie promised him that he and Sam would fight for him. On those nights, Jake and Bree retired to Jake's quarters so that Jamie could sleep in the bed with Cheri and Stevie, but they mostly stayed up all night, trying to comfort him in his sleep through the nightmares that the fear of being taken away would bring.

.

Stacie made time to have regular double dates with Sam and Mercedes. They HAD to do this at least once a month, and put everything on the table. She finished school, started working, adjusted her goals to work towards eventually having her own lab, and went forward with that and being a supermom in her off time.

Every First Sunday, Dwight, Sam, Stevie, Jake and Joe would have an afternoon lunch and possibly some other activities. Sometimes with all of the grandsons, as well. Sometimes, Stacie left their daughter and doggie with Mama T and went along with them. The First Monday was Daddy-Daughter brunch, which he took Mercy, Cheri, Bree and Stacie on. The Last Saturday in each month they always had a full family breakfast banquet, sometimes at the house and sometimes as a restaurant. Sometimes, they had family events at the lodge that Mama T turned into a comedy club.

Well, that was simplifying it. It was a bar and grill with live music, open mic, and comedy shows. It was just called "Mama T's," and the guys rocked out there sometimes, and she had a kid cave in the back - which was basically an office with a bunch of kids stuff so that her grans could be entertained when stuck there. She had gotten close to all of her kids, and she and Sam were even closer, now - between the time it took them to run the company, wrangling children, and now… He actually _was_ her spiritual advisor.

.

Eventually, Sam did wind up with the children. They were removed, at different times from the homes of the mothers that had claimed them. Sam was grateful to have them back, but it was like starting all over again, and the four that had been the least troubled before, had become even more difficult than the harder five.

Chuck tried to help out with them, but they had went back into such an indelicate place that it was going to take some time. Sam made the time. His biological children were spiritual kids who go to private school, love the Lord and they get on best with their dad than anybody in the world, even Mommy.

The long nights of being awake because these poor children's demons wouldn't allow them to sleep, singing to them, praying for them, holding them close and trying to persuade them that everything outside of now was of no concern - it was very taxing. But, whenever a child would express their contentment, show their joy, relax in their peace - this entire journey seemed all worth it.

Mercedes looked at their lives, how the Evanses were basically their own village. They took in children and helped to raise them and to better them. He was given the number of children he'd always wanted, and even though he had missed most of their early childhood moments, he was able to make new ones, with the help of the rest of the family. They hadn't been targeted or attacked by the enemy and dozens of young white supremacists came to them, seeking help to get out of their lifestyle and possibly have as great a future as what they saw.

There was a particular scare, at one point. Someone called and said the key words to Stacie, when she answered her phone. Everyone immediately scattered to get to safety, Stevie immediately checked it out, and while they were preparing to hideout as Stevie and co got to the bottom of the threat, the calls came pouring in. Apparently, since the phone calls were now a known thing, pranksters who got hold of their phone numbers decided to play tricks. They pressed charges, but were understandably shaken up.

At the family meeting following it, the children posed some questions, "What if it would have been real? What if they come back for us? What if there _are_ more of them out there, still waiting? What do we do next time? What will we do if it's not a cruel game, and really the bad people coming for us again?"

Sam answered them all, with one reassuring promise, "Then we make sure to always be ready for them. All of us. We will defend ourselves. We'll defend this family. We'll defend each other."

Stevie nodded his head. They had been discussing what needed to be done at their weekly dinners, which followed their weekly therapy sessions. Matt wasn't ready for therapy with Sam, but Stevie had been. They had been in counselling together since after Stevie finished finding all of their attackers, working all of their things out, on the same page, for the first time in a long time. Although they had been raising their children vastly different and Stevie was a little bit unnerved by having his biologicals call him Steven while calling Sam "Dad," there was no real way to make it less awkward.

"But how?" Several of the kids asked, in unison, addressing Sam.

Sam said, "Well, I'm hoping that Stevie can help everybody out with that…"

.

After the family meeting, Stevie, Jake, Bree, and Cheri headed for the roof. Cheri grabbed Stacie's hand and whispered, "Rooftop." She waved Joe over, as well. After a while, everybody ended up out on the roof. They stared laying down, as certain ones knew what this was. The others simply caught up. When everybody was laying on the roof, looking up at the sky and settled, some holding hands, some cuddled up, Sam began singing, Family Tradition by Hank Williams. Cheri called out, after a few lines, "BOY! Don't nobody but y'all rednecks know this doggone song!"

Stacie corrected her, "I have no idea what he's singing, Girl."

Sam defended, "Well... That's all of your faults, though."

Dwight answered, "I know the song, but I have no idea what is going on."

Stevie answered, "It's a tradition that we started some years ago at the old house, whenever Jake and Stacie lived there with us."

Mama T finished, "They lay on the roof, look at the stars and have singalongs."

Dwight said, "For the patriarch of this family, I am always literally the last one to know about anything that goes on in it..."

Mercedes changed the subject with a song of her own (it wasn't like she could "look at the stars" anyway, "What if I told you it was all meant to be? Would you believe me? Would you agree?..." Even if you didn't know A Moment Like This by Kelly Clarkson, you didn't (no matter who you were) EVER interrupt the blessing of Mercedes singing. And even the ones that didn't know the song before would never be able to forget it. A moment like this one, surrounded by family, extending a tradition, and growing closer in love... some people did wait a lifetime for it. They had spent a lifetime trying to get here, and now, there they were - cuddled up, safe and for the most part happy and healthy.

.

Mercedes put their children to bed after washing up, prayed with them, prayed for them, and kissed them all on the heads when she wished them goodnight. Sam was out on their porch, playing guitar and looking at the stars. "Mr. Amazing?"

"Hey, Babydoll. Need help settling the kids for the night?"

"Oh know, Supermommy did that already. I just came to see if you're ready to get settled for the night?"

"In a little bit. I was just looking at the stars. Chuck told me that when they were little, he used to like to look at stars, but Commanding Father told him that he needed to always be alert, on guard and never let his head get caught in the clouds. How does anybody do something like that to a child? Just take away their innocence and also crush the things that they love. I want to start just bringing them out here and letting them look at the stars."

"Maybe in the summer, or on the weekends. That will be nice, I guess. I have no idea. I only know how stars are shaped, and I'm told that they don't actually look like the thing that I'm feeling to figure it out."

"No, they don't," he set his guitar down, "But, they're beautiful. They do this thing that we call twinklin.' It's kinda like a little flash of light over something."

"I'll bet it's something. There are a lot of song lyrics that feature the stars in the sky." She sat down by him and said, "I kind of just enjoy listening to these crickets." After a while, she turned in his direction, in the darkness and wondered, "Did you know? That our life could be this way? Whenever you walked into my shop, I had no idea that you were about to change my life. When we fell in love, I still don't think that I knew. But, you're pretty good at discerning things, at times. So, did you? Know?"

He wrapped an arm around her, "No, but I knew that I loved you, and I know that my love grows stronger each day. So, what I knew was that whatever our lives was gonna be, that I was gonna love it, because there you were, my stars in the sky." He gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Now, I think I'm ready to settle in for the night. Got quite a day tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? I didn't know that you had anything meaningful to do tomorrow…"

"I have something meaningful to do everyday… Love you more than the day before." She gushed and her belly fluttered. This was exactly the life that _she_ had always wanted, thought for a long time that she might never get, and completely the one that she knew that she deserved.


	41. EpilogueConclusion

_Instead of just doing an update or recap of where the characters that we know are and what they're doing, I wanted to end on showing how their children turned out and sort of viewing the characters and their progress through_ that _lense. So, even though these are original/unknown characters, mostly Sheva, simply because she's my fave; I'm hoping that it clearly communicates as a reflection of the characters that you know. Aesthetics soon to follow on mysamcedesmadness tumblr blog._

 **EPILOGUE: The Recreation**

Mercedes had an entire two weeks blocked off for the end of the year parties on her roster. This was almost as hectic as the year (most) of the nine, one of Tina's, one of Quinn's, and Babs (Rachel's daughter), _all_ either graduated or were going into their senior years of various high schools.

Tina's and many of Stevie's went to Montessori and elected to switch to public for high school. Stevie Jr actually switched to _private_ the last couple of years to be closer to Rose. Quinn's and Mercedes' kids all went to private school, even the five adopted - though those didn't always, simply because it was a hard transition from what they had previously known of. By high school, they all did, though. Chuck and Roddy were Mercedes' first graduates. They graduated seven years ago, when there were only the two of them that year (Jamie had graduated the previous year, like Tina's oldest, Kalama).

Five years ago, that particular year, she had five graduations (three of her adopted kids - Early, Philip, Winter), and two honorary nieces (Oliana and Babs). That year, Stevie Jr. and Rose were going into their senior year, high school sweethearts and the it couple at the academy. Early graduated later than expected, mostly for trouble adjusting hurt a couple of his first few years in the Evans house, and he needed better hands on teaching for a while. A couple of years before, Chuck was the only one in Sam's household who graduated from public school, instead of private.

Meanwhile, five years ago, that particular year - Cowboy was going into his senior year, at age fifteen and at the top of his class. He decided to transition to a private high school to polish his transcript, though all of Stevie's others went to public when it was time. Five years ago, Stevie Jr. Rose, and Cowboy were about to have their last year of high school - Cowboy wanting to be a doctor, Stevie Jr. a vet, and Rose surprisingly undecided, being a child of Quinn's.

Fast forward to this year, and the three had completed their first four years of college, meaning that Cowboy was medical school bound, Jackpot was vet school bound, and Rose _still_ wasn't sure what she wanted to do with the business degree that she got, based upon her uncertainty. But, they weren't the main focus of this year. This year, while they were going to have their first college graduations, they had youngers who were, as well.

Jane and Mason's kids, Sheva, Sherwood, and very importantly for Mercedes, Heaven , were all graduating this year. So, while it was stressful five years ago, THIS year her firstborn son, her forever little bear, her bumblee, Mama's boy, nurtured and raised by her own hands and not remedially was graduating.

She spent years insisting that she didn't make differences between her adopted and biological children, and that certainly was the case to a high degree. She gave them all love, attention, and all of their needs and beyond. But, Heaven had always loved her, while most of her adoptees took years.

So, this year, he was graduating and her twins only had a couple more years to high school, as well. They were excited to become juniors, but not nearly as excited as their twin cousins, Sheva and Sherwood were about bolding going into their senior year, and Mercedes knew that even though her children were at private school, they'd wind up bolding going a lot of places with their cousin. For one reason, and one reason alone - Sheva Thee Diva.

Her niece had been a socialite since she was six years old. Mercedes felt like she tried to get out of the shadow of all of the new children that were forced into her family, without her consent by making sure that _everyone around her, wherever she went_ paid her in the attention that she craved and believed that she deserved. Sheva was what she referred to as "actually special." Sheva's theory was that people often pretended to be special because they didn't love themselves and wanted to stand out. It was her argument that she stood out, whether or not she wanted to, but also that she wanted to. It was her "gift," to truly be special. The kids seemed to agree, because people often followed her, wanted to be near her, and wanted to be her friend or at least get acknowledged. Mercedes always wondered how she was when adults weren't present. If her children knew anything, they weren't spilling it.

Sheva spun her twin's eccentricity into "genius," making him as desired in company a counterpart as she was, to the point that everyone was as intrigued by him as they were impressed with her. She convinced Tanisha to have a "teen night" at Mama T's, and made it something that was not only a thing that teenagers all over town rushed to on Wednesday nights, but she made it extra special for some, by _personally_ inviting them. Mercedes' twins would always be bummed out, because teen nights at Mama T's fell on a night that they had prayer meeting and bible study at church. But, Sheva insisted that it couldn't be any other night. Wednesdays were the optimal day of the week. Sometimes, the teens might even get introduced to one of the many celebrities that Sheva was kin to, though her own social media presence made her a pretty well known public figure within her first few weeks after being allowed to create accounts at 13.

Charlize was the prime celebrity for that age group. Many high schoolers wouldn't care about Mercedes' doll company, or talk show, Sam's years of fame and favor, or even Stevie's directorial filmography, for that matter (though that impressed a lot of them). Their real covetousness was in the starstruck Charlize Charming-Evans, formerly Charlize Darling. Charlize, at age 15 won a talent show that got her a record deal, after guitar lessons with her dad and grandad. This deal took her to NYC with Jake and Bree, to California with Cheri, and all over the world by the time she was 17. She recorded and performed under the stage name "Darling Charlie," made sure to _always_ talk about how her adopted mother, "Mon Cherie," encouraged her talents and dreams, and compared it to her biological mother (whose name she never spoke) sold her into the slavery of a Nazi. Her stage name was the only nod that she gave to that woman.

But, whenever she was in town, she made appearances, and often boosted her little sisters' & girl cousins' rep. She'd sign her siblings out of school, visit Mercedes' kids' for a lunch date, throw a contribution at the academy and post about how her family was still her favorite crowd #loved. Having her on speed dial made Sheva a high school force, and was one of the main reasons she was happy to go to school in Ohio, instead of California, like she'd wanted to whenever Charlize first made it big.

Now, Mercedes was waiting for the subterfuge that the kids would try to team up with their adult siblings to manifest a different itinerary from what they had planned for them. Sam had been at Mama T's helping to set up for the graduations party, while she had been home, waiting for all of the traffic of their kids and prodigals to the Evans Estate for the weekend, or however long each was staying.

.

Heaven took several choice selfies for his social media while waiting, with Jamie, on Cowboy to come out of the airport. Jamie was listening to music, smoking weed and texting Stevie Jr. Jr. and Rose were heading for the estate already. They rented a car and drove from Columbus, where they lived and went to school. "Jr. and Rose are a few minutes away from Papa Dwight's. Sheva is not going to come home immediately. She's apparently going shopping with her girl gang for the parties."

"And she told you?" Heaven asked, shocked.

"That's what bothers me. I'm not the brother that she checks in with. She's trying to butter me up, so that she can get me not to pass by whatever party she intends to go to, to make sure that any of them creepers remember that she's got 11 brothers and the oldest doesn't play around."

"You probably shouldn't do her like that anyway," Heaven suggested.

"It's literally part of my job. You're not gonna remind everybody at the private school that you aren't the only one that looks out for Blessing?"

Heaven sighed, "My big brothering is very different from yours."

"Yours sounds like it sucks."

"But… Your sister calls me, though, when she needs a big brother."

"She's literally four months OLDER than you!" Jamie reminded him.

"Not in spirit!" Heaven said, finally posting his preferred selfies as Jamie laughed at the accuracy of the statement. Technically, Sheva called Heaven when she needed a straight arrow - somebody that would get her out of trouble, but probably not get them all arrested, someone who was sure to be both sober and clean at any gathering, someone who would want to report her transgressions, but is understanding enough to let it go if nobody was hurt. "Mom's already enlisted us to be her eyes on the matter of what party will woo the Evans kids tonight."

"Won't you be trying to spend time with your friends? What type of private school party mood is on for tonight?"

"There are at least seven parties that I think Sheva MIGHT be interested in, but narrowing down the order to figure out where she'll end up by the end of the night is the hard part. Me and Cowboy will run the interference with Mom and Dad for B&B, so that they can get to at least make an appearance at whatever end of the year party they're tryna get into."

"Well, I think that all the nine will be around, since Jr.'s driving in. Whether or not they'll wanna stay at Mama T's havin' beers or get into some other kinda trouble will determine whether or not I can help babysit."

"On principle, you should be helping. It's Cowboy's night, too. Getting ready to go to medical school… It's a big deal."

Jamie shrugged, "Everything he does is a "big deal," he made quotation marks with his fingers just as Cowboy was coming out. "Finally," he said, starting the truck up.

Now, Heaven wasn't sure if he should shadow his less responsible cousins to make sure that they didn't go too far. Nobody hardly ever called Jamie as backup unless someone needed the fear of God put into them. He'd been their escort to places through middle school and honestly, could not WAIT until Cowboy finally got his license so that they had an easier ride to and from places. Of course, that only last that summer, as he graduated from high school at 16. Two years later, the responsible but not effing crazy burden landed on Heaven's shoulders. But, he did want to enjoy his graduation weekend, too.

.

Stevie checked and rechecked under tables, beneath certain areas of the bar, behind the jukebox, next to the karaoke machine, backstage, and some other areas to be sure that everything was where it needed to be. Cheri and Charlize were flying in from LA, and it would be the first that he'd seen his wife in two weeks now. That wasn't the longest time that work kept her away, but he wished he would have more alone time with her - which simply couldn't happen with the list of graduations on their plans. As soon as they entered the club, he knew that he was gonna have to just make it happen. Charlize cheered, "Dad!" and went running to him to grab him into a hug and show off by picking him up off of the ground when she did. Cheri hung back to give them their moment and when Charlize rushed off to go show Papa Sam the same treatment, finally approached her husband. "So, hey…" But he grabbed her and began to kiss her, practically taking her on the top of the karaoke table.

"AHT!" Mama T called from her office door, "Don't start screwing on my tables. I have a whole office back here. You'll just have to pay to reupholster." She came out, took Stevie by the collar and pulled him off of Cheri. "This is why I tell you two to just travel together. Dwight and I have hardly been apart for over a decade and nobody regrets anything."

"You and Daddy also set up shop here. We're… You know, international, now."

"Charlize is international, and if Cheri keeps on managing her, your wife will be living in London and you'll still be moping around Lima."

"Moping?" Cheri repeated.

"Baby, I get really sad when you're not here," he said and poked his lip out.

"Did I hear my sissy's voice?" Sam called, coming in from the patio with Charlize. Cheri screamed and rushed over to hug Sam.

Stevie pointed his thumb, "You see that shit? I got a nonchalant 'so hey' and he gets a scream and run."

"She was probably trying to play it cool so you wouldn't try to fuck her through a table," Tanisha said.

"Joke's on her, because I _still_ tried to," Stevie said, smiling. His phone buzzed. "Sammy - Jamie and Heaven just picked up Cowboy."

Sam clasped his hands together and apologetically told Cheri, "Having a quick link up with the big brother club about this week. Your daughter has gotten so crafty with helping mine to sneak around, we have to execute full contingency plans."

Charlize scoffed, "There's nothing to worry about. Sheva might like the nightlife, but she's _always_ Dad levels of aware of everything going on. Trust that B&B are safer with her than they'd be with me."

"I don't doubt that, and as much as I love ya, I wouldn't leave them in _your_ care, either," Sam said.

"Wow. First off - they aren't in Sheva's _care_ , they're in her company. And secondly, where the heck is Jamie? He LIVES out here, shouldn't he be big broing it up?"

"Sheva reads him as a fifth parent, and also as the mean parent. She hides more from him than she does from me," Stevie said, grabbing the keys as he and Sam made way to meet up with their sons.

Mama T pointed all around, "You wanna eat?"

Charlize furrowed her eyebrows and wondered, "What, like food?"

"People still do that, you know," Mama T told her. "I'll fix you something." Charlize took a seat with Cheri, who was on her phone, checking to see where the heck the rest of her children were.

.

Mercedes heard the door and sang out, "Hello?"

"Why are you here by yourself?" she heard Chuck ask. "The Four Huntsmen come in yet?" (That was what they called the four sons that were taken back then returned to them - Roddy, Early, Pip and Winter. They all lived together, but not nearby. They liked being in more seclusion, but were certainly coming for their baby brother's celebration.

Chuck proceeded to double check a few places as she pat the side of her thigh, where he knew her weapon was hiding, to reassure him. "No, but they're on the way, and so is the Big Brothers Club. What are you doing here so early, and unaccompanied? You know that when we have events, that's the time to be on buddy system alert. Never know."

"I'm on heavily armed at all times alert. Buddy system only works when you've got buddies." He went into the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. "Who else is meeting up at the house?"

"Big bros, your dads, and our four. I think Jr. is checking in at Quinn's with Rose. Are you bringing your girlfriend around for the excitement of tonight?" Mercedes asked.

"Nice try, Mom. I'm still very much single and still very much fine with that. That woman was just a friend and she was only over at that time of night because friends can and do sometimes spend the night."

"I know, I know that they do. But, you really need to let your dads get a feel for people that you'll have in your space, that way."

Chuck set down his beer on a coaster and took her hands, "Mom… It's been _years_ since anybody came after us, for any reason. You always tell us to have faith."

"Yeah, whenever you're worried about a job interview, not when we're unsure if your FWB is trustworthy enough to know your address," she said.

"I _so_ hate you using the phrase FWB when talking to me," he said, chuckling. "Papa Steve checked out her information before I ever invited her over. I know the drill." He kissed her on the top of her head as a chorus of male voices entered the front door and she was soon surrounded by testosterone and loud cheers, accompanied by taking turns granting her hugs and kisses. All of her sons, except for Bliss were back at home for the moment, and her "favorite" nephew, Cowboy. Their dads were on the way, too, but she took the time to just catch up with everyone while she could.

.

The Evans Estate was filled with old comfortable noises, most of the boys were in the game room, playing pool and talking much louder than was necessary while in the same room, but learned behavior because so many of the rooms would be filled with family members, all taking at once. Mercedes wondered, "Do you remember when we were ready to swear off of weddings and births because we and all of our friends were having them all happen? I didn't at all consider that all these years later, it would be the same madness, but for graduations."

Sam laughed and climbed into bed, and within a few years, it'll be back to the weddings and births rotation, but for our kids."

"Oh, Father!" Mercedes declared. "How are the four? They don't seem like themselves."

"They seem just like themselves, to me. They just get used to being away from everybody, and honestly - that's what seems like it does their hearts the most good. With everything that they've had to do, I want them to enjoy however much of life that they can. I couldn't make the same mistake with their lifestyle choices that I did with Stevie. Alienate them, after everything we went through to make them members of the family?"

"I know. I get it. I just wish that they knew that this could be their home and they wouldn't have to "deal with" people."

"We're the people, in this situation. Takes a lot of energy to deal with parents that don't understand you… But, they wouldn't keep coming back if they didn't love us."

"Loving us makes it harder for them to be themselves," she said. "That's how it seemed to work for Stevie."

"And the thing that helped him was continued love. They're fine, Babydoll."

"All nine?"

"From what I saw today."

"Then, I trust that." She gave him a kiss on the neck.

.

Blessing _always_ called shotgun in Mattie's car, unless his little sis was with them. Bliss and Becca were in the backseat, and Becca was texting Charmaine to find out where they were meeting up with her, Major and Sheva. Becca was determined to be included in all of the festivities this summer. She knew people, but she hadn't been nearly as popular as Beth, or attached at the hip with a boyfriend, like Rose, so her high school stint was generally mediocre, despite growing up with, and living across the street from Sheva Thee Diva Evans. Her private school friends knew that she had connections to her, but Sheva never featured her on her social media or took photos with just the two of them, or anything resembling them _actually_ being friends, and not just the kids of friends. In fact, Major I and Mason II were the top of her school chain and only cordially spoke to her, in passing, sometimes - if they even noticed her. Becca wanted to change that.

Sheva wasn't going to college, unlike her older siblings, who all at least tried, if not excelled in higher education (sans Charlize, who didn't "have to" because she was a star). Sheva would be following in the footsteps of her fame, traveling with her older sister, as her assistant, until something better came along. But, everyone knew that the assistant was like an appendage to the star, and as her sister, she probably wouldn't even be actually doing very much of the work an assistant typical did. Sheva was about to be going all over the world with a star and rubbing elbows with celebrities and getting paid to do it! Charmaine had every intention of ascending to the throne of the public school that they went to, and while Becca had never been to public school in her entire life, she. Wanted. To. Share. That. Glory.

Sheva agreed to let her hang with the girl gang today, so that she would have party success this summer. Charmaine and Bliss didn't need the boost. Being Evans girls themselves, when they stepped into any place, everyone automatically wanted in their space. Anytime that Becca wanted pointers from her older sisters on popularity and friendship, they gave her ideologies.

Beth's was to work hard, focus on self love, self worth, growth, and creation, and apparently if you were going to have friends, they would be like-minded and understand when you couldn't be whatever they envisioned, and appreciate you for what you are. Rose's was 'be yourself' and the people who count will like you for you. Don't _try_ to impress people, and whenever you do, you'll know it was because they genuinely like you. But, Becca was (while extremely pretty) easily overshadowed by the children of Cheri Evans. They were from fashionable parents, beauty genes, socially encouraging stock, and honestly cool household, which anybody could access on demand! YEARS of their childhood, their living legend of a mother, complete icon of a grandmother… Like… Stevie Evans was okay, too - radical in his politics, which made him infamous, and that even was super cool, in a way.

While Becca had excellent parents with gorgeous genetics, and carried the Anderson name - a very prominent one in this city, her pretty face could only go so far when her dad was a hardass agent and her mom was a ballbusting business woman. She had been babied her whole life by her older sisters, who knew that they had to be extra pairs of eyes, ears, hands, whatever, to make sure that she was alright, because she lived with diabetes. Then, she had a paranoid mother who had been abused, survived and built a company on her paranoia and survival… and raised her daughters in the same vein. Plus, her father was literally a secret agent. He'd been a cop, before she was born, a detective, then an agent in Washington DC. He was in Homeland freakin' Security. To put it in other words, nobody wanted to be friends with the girl whose parents could ruin them if things went south, except for the kids that were basically stuck with her - Aunt Mercy's kids, Aunt Tina's kids, and through them - Matt Rutherford's and Jane McCarthy's kids. This year, she was determined to get in good with these folks. If Charmaine was going to run things at her public high school, perhaps Major might pass the baton to her, or at least give her an endorsement, as she left private school.

They saw the girl gang, laughing in the underwear store as Sheva collected multiple items. Mattie wondered, "You coming with the fellas, Becca?"

"No, no… I'm gonna girl gang it today," she said, trying to convince herself.

"Cool," he said, and he and Bliss made their way to go meet up with Sherwood, Sterling, and Mason II, who were very likely on the complete opposite side of the mall. She heard Major's little sister whisper, "Are you going to make me keep Miss Fabray's daughter company?" and she almost turned and ran to catch up with Mattie.

But, Major whispered, "She has a name, Madonna Djane, and no. She's with us, today, I think." That gave her a little bit more confidence and she followed Blessing, and they passed around the habitual obligatory hugs.

"Bexy," Sheva said and held up two different styles and colors of very similar lingerie, "Time for _your_ vote. I'm trying to say 'Tonight may be your last chance to show me that you love me, but also - you will never forget me because of tonight." Becca was still hung up on the fact that she had just been referred to as "Bexy" by a teen idol. A nickname from a teen idol. A nickname with an emphasis on the suggestion that she was sexy from… "I'm leaning towards one, but I'd like to know if you're my kind of gal," Sheva broke into her mental fangirling.

"The red one?" Becca answered, not at all confidently. Major rolled her eyes and shook her head. Becca was about to apologize for not having any sense of fashion, but Sheva squealed.

"I _knew_ you'd get it right. Them Fabray girls are smart cookies, even if their daddy is a fascist," Sheva casually said. Becca didn't know how to feel about that, but she had been well aware that Sheva's father and her father did not get along or like each other, so it wasn't surprising that Sheva wouldn't care for him, either. After all, it was Sheva's aunt who was close with the Fabrays, not Sheva's parents. In fact, they lived across the street from each other for 14 years and while Becca was always welcome at events that Cheri Evans threw, Sheva never paid any attention to her, even if she was in the group of girls following her around.

Major commented, "I wouldn't preoccupy myself with such slugs, Bexy. Sheva's father was literally a Nazi for 16 years."

"Technically for 8 years, 4, if we're talking active training and duty, but he made the choice at a very young age to turn his life around, meanwhile Cooper Anderson is an agent in an establishment that encompasses the best and brightest of oppressors in the country, as a full grown man who selected to do what he does… which is very closely related to what Nazis do, but with government approval..." Sheva set her things on the counter and took out her credit card. "Mage is just salty that I am considering _finally, perhaps,_ giving in to her brother's lifelong love for me. But, onto more important things… Becca, we have a _huge_ ask of you for tonight that can affect our relationship henceforth."

Becca was suddenly listening very intently. The answer was yes, whatever she had to say, but she listened, anyway. "I have eight older brothers, biologically. Three, by adoption. I technically have four parents, though only one of them has been actively parenting me for the past couple of years. I have a cool mom, who while she supports me and wants me to live my best life, knows that she's not here nearly enough to have the final say in things, and leaves it to my dad, who used to be a Nazi and is still very much a very paranoid and honestly sometimes crazy person, especially when we have live events and big gatherings. And this weekend, in particular, I have my graduation from high school, meaning hella parties and hella family in town. My mom is here, all of my brothers, my Godmommy Bree and Goddaddy Jake will be here, and let's not forget my overbearing Uncle Sammy and Aunt Babydoll, whose children are part of my celebrations this week. They won't give me any breathing room, because I am quote unquote irresponsible and reckless when it comes to partying. One of my older brothers, Stevie Jr. and your older sister have been hardcore doing it since they were kids. It's my understanding that you never ask anything of her, correct?"

"Ask anything of Rose? No. I never ask anything of anybody. They just kind of all baby me…"

"Stay on track," Blessing told her. She had allowed Becca to come here, as her friend and play cousin, and didn't want her real cousin to shade her for the decision.

Sheva finished, "So, since you never ask her for anything, are you able to do that?"

"Yeah. I can ask her anything."

"Because, I think that she might be key in us all getting to go to all of the parties that we will want to be at and being carefree enough to chill out afterwards," Sheva said. "Cowboy helps, but Aunt Babydoll _expects_ him to, so she'll have him answering to her about anything that seems unauthorized or inappropriate and either he'll block us or he'll try to place some guidelines on us that defeat the whole purpose of the fun! We just want to hit the best parties, hook up with somebody, if we so please and not have to answer twenty questions about it. We'll have a hotel room to return to at the end of each party, and if we wind up sleeping elsewhere, well, more room for whoever came back to the room, amirite? So, here's what I propose… If you can get your sister to be our cover, I know that my brother will go along with her, and that'll be all that we need, because they expect coverage from Cowboy, even from Heaven to an extent, and they already have most of the others in their pocket. But, Rose has no reason to cover for us - she never does, and never has, so the parentals, Aunt Babydoll in particular, will trust whatever she tells them. My dad 125% will not. He'll be suspicious and he'll think that we've somehow gotten to her. That's where my brother comes in. Technically, Sterling is daddy's baby boy, but in a way, Stevie Jr. is his baby boy too. He's the last of the bastards, no offense."

"Not sure why there would be any taken…?" Becca muttered, but Sheva kept going.

"And he's the only one, of all of the kids who was named FOR him, despite the fact that his mother hated my dad by the time he was born. My dad has a soft spot for him. He was so young when he met him, but already weaponized and my dad had a connection with him that I could never have with him, having had wonderful parents my whole life. SO, if Jr. backs up our stories, Daddy will place the burden of making sure that nothing happens on him, reluctantly believe your sister and he and Aunt Babydoll will have called off any efforts to thwart our plans. We can't enjoy this weekend without you, Becca."

Becca nodded her head, "I accept. I will get you to the parties that you deserve."

"Us, Bexy. You will get us there," Sheva said, took her hand and squeezed it. "Oh, and Leinani will too, because she'll be driving us."

"Not Mattie?" Becca wondered.

"Don't be so thirsty, Girl," Madonna Djane told her.

"I wasn't… He… Doesn't date white girls, anyway."

"Okay, the fact that you pointed that out sounds like peak thirst, and if you want the hook up, I've got you. Mattie's folks and my daddy are bestfriends." Sheva said. Madonna sighed, hard. "You two aren't friends, Madonna Djane. Bexy can certainly date Mattie this summer and you can shoot your shot when you get to high school, next year."

Major shook her head, "No, she can't 'shoot her shot' with Mattie. He's like family."

Sheva waved a hand and said, "My step uncle and my dad have been fucking like most of my life. The 'like family' angle means nothing to me." Becca blushed. Sheva informed her, "Nothing to be embarrassed about. They actually slept in the same room for years, until Goddaddy Jake moved back to New York to work on Broadway again. And, you've been to our home plenty of times. You can see how my family, of all the households there have the most… _unique_ living situation."

"Right, like… Your mom is gone a lot, seems like?" Sheva paused and collected her bags and receipt.

"Yeah, About two years ago, she took on Charles' management. Soon enough, I'll be on those trips WITH them. Daddy's heartbroken, but he's had regular access to me for the past couple of years. I kinda miss my mom, even though we talk every single day."

"Beth lived away from us for the first few years we were here. She finally moved out here when she turned 16."

Sheva recaled, "I think that I was at her sweet 16th. It was extremely mediocre, right?"

"It was… better than mine."

"You had a party and didn't invite me?" Sheva asked, mock offended.

"It would have been an insult to you, honestly." Becca laughed at herself. "Ask Blessing, she went."

"It was cute," Blessing said, clearly trying to be nice. The rest of the girls, including Becca, laughed.

.

Rose easily covered for her little sister. She knew it was super important for her to fit in with those girls and Stevie Jr. insisted that his sister knew her way around weapons and was skilled in self defense, if anything _did_ happen. So, they covered. It could be their graduation gift to Sheva, because Jr. certainly didn't get her anything. He was too preoccupied with trying to select a ring for Rose without her finding out. He planned on proposing to her after all of the graduation parties.

He watched his dad propose to Cheri through song, watched his Papa Sam surprise wedding his MamaCedes, heard stories of how Papa Dwight had a ring in his pocket for Mama T and presented it at Auntie Stacie's wedding, with her permission… His Uncle Joe had proposed fresh off of the pulpit. He wanted to do something equally as powerful and memorable, though she would accept anything, considering the family history in her DNA. That was how they connected, honestly.

Both of them had been created for evil, but wound up in the hands of good people who treated them like their own… _Technically, Stevie was his dad, but it certainly hadn't felt that way when they met._ But, with he and Rose, they were both adopted by people that the families that they would have been destined for would have considered enemies. Jr. He was raised in part by her biological father, Preston Schuester… Who… They often discussed in therapy, together. She never even knew the man, but had once thought that he was her biological grandfather. Finding out that he was actually her biological father and that her cousin, who she could barely remember now was actually her biological half-brother, and that both her biological mother and her mother's sister had the same donor, to not "taint" their bloodlines was so gross and disturbing. She wished that she had never snuck to go see _The Lost Files of the Rutherfords Case,_ but Quinn couldn't hide all of the ugly, gritty details of her past from her forever. Stevie Jr. was super understanding to her crisis. Having believed something all her life - that she was related to Emma Pillsbury, beloved fallen friend, victim of a hate crime, and former honorary mother to her mother - was only part of the truth. But that the cousin who had custody of her had been her brother, Emma had been her sibling, and she had almost been in the same type of family that Stevie escaped from. In a way, nobody understood her like him. Of course, his brothers did, too. They were all taken in by that depraved lunatic. But, Stevie Jr. was her age, so felt things in a similar way. He had found out the ugly truths of his life years before she had, but he helped her as much as the therapist did with sorting through those emotions. He was also super cute. She'd always thought that he was the cutest of all of the Evans boys, while Beth insisted that they "All looked like variants of their dad and uncle. It's like the same dude, over and over. Look up 'the real slim shady video and that's your Evans bros." What did Beth know? She never had a relationship longer than a few months. Rose and Stevie Jr. had been together since 9th grade. Jesus! Had she honestly been DATING someone for 8 years?

She sighed and threw her head back. It was hard enough being the daughter of the woman who redefined in Ohio what it meant to be a Fabray woman, and the little sister of a Top 30 Under 30 Entrepreneur, but the one thing that she always did right - being Stevie's girl… she… had been doing that without promise of something deeper and bigger… for _eight years,_ now.

Of course, her parents did something similar. Quinn and Cooper didn't get married until she was in elementary school, and she was halfway convinced that they did it because it was going to look better whenever they started trying to get her into the private junior high that they wanted her to go to. So, it made sense that he didn't see an urgent need to marry her. BUT, his parents had been married for almost as long as they had been together. They'd also found each other as teenagers, and got married before they were 21. Now, their marriage was odd, to most people, but it still was official. What was she even worrying about this? She still didn't know what she would do with her degree, so how could she possibly know that she wanted to get married? Well, she did. If he didn't ask her, maybe she would ask him. But, she should probably give him some time to breathe after this degree. She sighed again.

.

Sam peeked into the bedroom to see Blessing getting ready for another party. He knocked on the door and she smiled into the mirror, "It's open, Daddy!" He came into the room and admired her. "Yep. Little girl is all grown up!"

"Hardly. My little girl is still a minor, and I wanna remind her that people out there can be dangerous. Be careful. That's all Daddy wants."

"I'm very careful, Daddy. Very responsible and not at all interested in whatever it is that parents have to worry about. I just want to go dancing with my cuzzo and her friends, stunt for social media with my brothers and retire for the night at a slumber party. All grown up, but still Daddy's Little Girl."

"And absolutely no spreading cooties," Sam reminded her.

"I always leave room for Jesus between me and any boy," she said, smiling. He laughed. He'd not left room for Jesus, Mary, Joseph, or nobody else when he was a teenager. He just hoped that she honestly did take after her mom and Aunt Stacie when it came down to this. "I hope that Heaven and Bliss get this same struggle."

"Are you kidding? Whenever Heaven hit puberty, your mother went bonkers!" She laughed. "Having seen the Four Huntsmen go through it and knowing that we all lived in a house where Stevie's family did whatever they were doing at night, she wanted Heaven to take a vow of abstinence and sign a contract. At 12!" Now, Blessing cackled. "I felt bad for the kid. I told him in secret that his mom was scared for nothing. I told him that I didn't wait for marriage, and it wasn't the end of the world. I told him that I believed in abstinence, but not abstinence only. I tried that in my adult life and it was hard, so I wasn't gonna expect my teenagers to be able to do it."

"Daddy… Sex is literally gross. I mean, I haven't done it yet, but just learning about it, nothing seems to be able to convey whatever this pleasure that everybody speaks of. Like, the STI's, STD's, and possible emotional enslavement sound difficult enough. But… The I don't know - sloppiness of it, I guess. All the bodily fluids. The bacteria that can go into the lady parts. That Uncle Stevie did that enough times without protection to procure the village nine is astounding, to me."

"I could have easily had just as many, had I not been in prison. I certainly wasn't very careful, and I didn't set the best example for Stevie, before I left him."

"I know the story, Dad." She smiled, grabbed her handbag and said, "I'm going to go to Aunt Quinn's. We're meeting there. You and Mom have a good night. There's a lot going on in the house. You won't have to worry about us." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and left him in her room.

.

The night of the vast party, Sheva had been partied out, but Charlize shared her energy pills to get her going for the family event. Rose found her at the gathering and cornered her, "Hey, Sheva. How's your weekend been?" She asked.

"Delightful, all thanks to you."

"No, thanks to Becca. She _really_ wants your approval. She wants you to validate her."

"I've tried to…"

"Just… Don't jerk her around, okay? Because, people like Becca, she's been sheltered and she's been nurtured. I know that someday, somebody, somewhere will hurt her heart. Please, don't let that be you."

Sheva cleared her throat and reached for her cucumber water, "I promise you, I wouldn't do anything to hurt your sister. You're my unofficial sister-in-law. Becca's my… Idk - my sister-in-law once removed. At any rate, just because she's lame doesn't mean that I'd hurt her. I don't use people as pawns. I repaid Becca's favor with a seat at the cool kids table. She'll have the best summer of her life, because of me. But, I can appreciate this exchange. I've had to collect girls over Charms and Blessing all my life… Also Cowboy. Umm… What do _you_ know about this girl that he's been seeing?"

"Only that I think it's love, this time."

"Love this time? How many times has he held back from us?" Sheva was just about to start clowning on Cowboy, when Stevie Jr. called for everybody's attention, trying to find Rose. Sheva knew exactly what this was about. She took Rose's hand and led her into the main area of the bar, "I've got her right here, Bro…"

"Ahhh.. There she is! Rose! Come on down!" Rose did so, with her parents and Stevie's parents, standing nearby, at his request.

"Oh God, it's finally happening," Quinn said.

"I had a speech prepared, because I didn't know how to do this like the men in my family have. I had so much to live up to and I stressed myself out, when all I had to do was just ask you straight up. Do these jeans make my butt look big?" Everybody laughed, including Rose, who had just been scared to death that he was about to put her on the spot and propose. He jumped off the stage, went to her and took her hands, "Oh, also, by the way, now that I have your attention, will you marry me?" She laughed even harder now and folded her arms, trying to glare at him, but failing. He kissed her on the forehead. "It was a rhetorical question. Wanna see the ring I picked out?" He pulled the ring out of his pocket and told her, "If you think this one's something, you should have seen the one that mom tried to pick out. Ohh yeah - you will, because it'll be your wedding ring." Rose stared at the rose shaped, rose gold ring and started crying and nodding her head. He put it on her finger.

Sheva grabbed the mic and said, "She said yes, y'all!" Everybody cheered and she continued on to hype the place up, "Yes, Lord. This family has seen its share of troubles, but these are the moments I live for. I've got a brother, who is about to go to med school, at age 20. One who is gonna be a vet AND getting married soon. Better late than never, because honestly, I have been wondering where this woman's ring was for at least three years…"

"OKAY!" Mama T yelled from the crowd.

Sheva continued, "I got a brother who I watched go from being a really terrifying bigger kid who suddenly lived in my house with me to being the bestest bodyguard that money don't pay for." Jamie laughed. "Thank you for the freedom that you allowed me to have this weekend as I partied with friends for the last time, walked across the stage and as I pass on the baton of literally the Queen of the School to my one and only little sister, who I helped to raise…"

"We're a year apart!" Charmaine complained.

"Who has looked up to me her whole life. I was given a big sister, who I will be touring with and am SO EXCITED about that. But, I worked really hard to be able to be free this weekend, and hopefully, finishing school stops the overprotective cover that I've had my entire life. Y'all are so paranoid about things. Like, I pay attention and I can take care of myself. Nobody has to worry about me not being able to do this thing called life, just because I'm a pampered brat. For instance, I noticed that dude trying to keep his Nazi tats covered, who keeps reaching over to make sure his weapon is in tact, on his person." A few of the guests began to casually leave. "I noticed him before Jamie did. I also noticed his friend or associate who's checking the phone, I don't know if for subterfuge, for further instructions, or if he's got a detonator in the thing, but I noticed when members of the family moved, ever so nonchalantly towards the stashes that Papa Dwight and Mama T proofed the place with, as y'all noticed the suspicious dudes, too…"

One of the suspicious dudes in question reached for his weapon, and found twenty more, pulled out very instantaneously and pointed at him.

Mercedes had ducked under the table, because not being able to see, that was generally her task. Evanses all over the building had reached either for their own personal weapons or one of the ones that Stevie checked and rechecked to make sure were accessible, but hidden properly, earlier.

Sam grabbed the associate who was on the phone and and Stevie grabbed the other one. "So, as I was saying," Sheva finished with her gun pointed on yet another person that they didn't know, but seemed to be with the others, "I am ready to start the new adventure of my life, and I have this family to thank for that. This magnificent group of people that helped to rear me…" The guy tried to lunge at her to take her weapon, but she clocked him across the face, then across the back of the head as he fell forward and knocked him to the ground. "Also, I would like to suggest that anyone not interested in a fight with my family leave immediately. This bar is about to get extremely ugly, and we apologize for any inconvenience," she said with a smile, into the microphone. There was only a couple, besides their family and the attackers, and they got up to leave.

"It's on the house," Mama T told them, with a smile, though she and Dwight were still pointing their shotguns towards the three people that were there to try something. Stacie locked the door behind them, waving cordially, and asked Joe sweetly, "Can you take our little ones into the Kid Cave for me?" He gave her a kiss on the cheek, rounded up, Jojo, Joey and their dogs and brought them into the back office as she closed the blinds and flipped off the sign. "Told them to close this place to the public tonight…"

Sheva finished her dedication with, "So, I just wanted to thank you all, and remind you that you have nothing to worry about. Nobody is ever going to be able to hurt us." She pointed her handgun at the man on the floor and fired two shots into his abdomen. Her brothers and dad would deal with the others. Her aunts would likely deal with the clean up. She went to the jukebox and selected a few songs. The caffeine and adrenaline had both kicked in, and she still had some celebrating to do.

 _Sly and the Family Stone's A Family Affair_ played to drown out the shots being fired, as she tied up her hair to try to get cleaned up before her next party. "UGH! That white sheet got blood on my redbottoms!" She heard her mom complain as she smiled at her reflection in the jukebox.

 **THE END**

 _Wow! I finally completed this. I know, there are likely a lot of questions and such, and I will be more than happy to answer them here or on Tumblr (I'll get to the Tumblr ones quicker). I am totally willing to keep writing drabbles for this trilogy, if there are specific questions about the time frame between chapter 40 and this epilogue, but some of that may ultimately make it to Steerio Hearts. A lot of things about a lot of characters, I just didn't have the room and energy to write in the course of the story, but am not at all opposed to accepting drabble requests for them to post in Look on the Bright Side. Have a great journey and thank you for coming along on this one with me._


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